Discworld/Quotes: Difference between revisions

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
Content added Content deleted
VisualWikitext
Line 4: Line 4:
{{cleanup|Qutes from individual books should be moved to Quote subpages for those books. This is taking place as part of the overall cleanup of ''[[Discworld]]'' pages.}}
{{cleanup|Qutes from individual books should be moved to Quote subpages for those books. This is taking place as part of the overall cleanup of ''[[Discworld]]'' pages.}}
== City Watch ==
== City Watch ==
=== ''[[Guards! Guards!]]'' ===
* [[Guards! Guards!/Quotes|''Guards! Guards!''/Quotes]]
{{quote|"[...] a number of offences of murder by means of a blunt instrument, to whit, a dragon, and many further offences of generalized abetting [...]"}}

{{quote|"Have another drink, not-Corporal Nobby?" said Sergeant Colon unsteadily.
"I do not mind if I do, not-Sgt Colon," said Nobby.
|The joys of working undercover}}

{{quote|{{smallcaps|Fabricati diem, Pvnc.}}|The motto of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch}}

{{quote|A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.}}

{{quote|There was a thoughtful pause in the conversation as the assembled Brethren mentally divided the universe into the deserving and the undeserving, and put themselves on the appropriate side.}}

{{quote|All dwarfs have beards and wear up to twelve layers of clothing. Gender is more or less optional.}}

{{quote|All dwarfs are by nature dutiful, serious, literate, obedient and thoughtful people whose only minor failing is a tendency, after one drink, to rush at enemies screaming "Arrrrrrgh!" and axing their legs off at the knee.}}

{{quote|People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."}}

{{quote|It was possibly the most circumspect advance in the history of military manoeuvres, right down at the bottom end of the scale that things like the Charge of the Light Brigade are at the top of.}}

{{quote|'''Vetinari:'''You think there are the good people and the bad people. You are wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.}}

{{quote|Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire.}}

{{quote|'''Vimes:''' It's a metaphor of human bloody existence, a dragon. And if that wasn't bad enough, it's also a bloody great hot flying thing.}}

{{quote|The three rules of the Librarians of Time and Space are: 1) Silence; 2) Books must be returned no later than the date last shown; and 3) [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick|Do not interfere with the nature of causality]].}}

{{quote|A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got so good at it.}}

{{quote|Thunder rolled. It rolled a six.}}

{{quote|"Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography!"}}

{{quote|[[Tropes Are Tools|The reason that cliches become cliches is that they are the hammers and screwdrivers in the toolbox of communication.]]}}

{{quote|You have the effrontery to be squeamish. But we were dragons. We were supposed to be cruel, cunning, heartless and terrible. But this much I can tell you, you ape -- we never burned and tortured and ripped one another apart and called it morality.}}

=== The other ''Watch'' books ===
* [[Men at Arms/Quotes|''Men at Arms''/Quotes]]
* [[Men at Arms/Quotes|''Men at Arms''/Quotes]]
* [[Feet of Clay (novel)/Quotes|''Feet of Clay'' (novel)/Quotes]]
* [[Feet of Clay (novel)/Quotes|''Feet of Clay'' (novel)/Quotes]]

Revision as of 17:25, 7 October 2023


Terry Pratchett is very quotable. This page is under construction and mostly stolen from the Pratchett Quote File.

City Watch

Lancre Witches

Equal Rites

If broomsticks were cars, this one would be a split-window Morris Minor.

"While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and important facts of the universe."

Treatle nodded. "I hadn't looked at it like that," he said, "But you're absolutely right. He's really pushed back the boundaries of ignorance."
—Discworld scientists at work
They both savoured the strange warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary people, who were only ignorant of ordinary things.
—Discworld scientists at work

They may have been ugly. They may have been evil. But when it came to poetry in motion, the Things had all the grace and coordination of a deck-chair.

"They say there's dwarf mines under the Ramtops," she said inconsequentially. "My, but them little buggers is in for a surprise."
—Granny reflects on Esk's methods of lighting a fire.

For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

Wyrd Sisters

As the cauldron bubbled, an eldritch voice shrieked, "When shall we three meet again?"
Another voice said, in far more ordinary tones, "Well, I can do next Tuesday."

The calender of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.

The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock, it regularly went cuckoo.

"'Tis not right, a woman going into such places by herself." Granny nodded. She thoroughly approved of such sentiments so long as there was, of course, no suggestion that they applied to her.

The other Witches books

Wizards

Death and Company

Tiffany Aching and The Wee Free Men

Moist von Lipwig

Other

Pyramids

What our ancestors would really be thinking, if they were alive today, is: "Why is it so dark in here?"

All assassins had a full-length mirror in their rooms, because it would be a terrible insult to anyone to kill them when you were badly dressed.

The Ephebians made wine out of anything they could put in a bucket, and ate anything that couldn't climb out of one.

Nature abhors dimensional abnormalities, and seals them neatly away so that they don't upset people. Nature, in fact, abhors a lot of things, including vacuums, ships called the "Marie Celeste", and the chuck keys for electric drills.

There was not a lot that could be done to make Morpork a worse place. A direct hit by a meteorite, for example, would count as gentrification.

The other standalone books

Games

"As far as leaders go, the only reason I'd follow him into battle, is out of curiosity."

"A swamp dragon if i'm not mistaken. I though these things were filled with explosive gas, (the carcass explodes) oh right!

Rincewind Excuse me sir. Could you get me a tome called 'featherwinkle's concise compedium of dragons' lairs'?
Librarian ook ook eek ook.
(both engage in a conversation of ape talk)
Rincewind Well nevermind I'll come back later.
Librarian ook eek ook?
Rincewind Yes i've gibbon up. no monkey, ape ... oh damn! (the librarian hits him over the head)

"Ugh It's horrible... hang on it's me! rather chap ain't he?

Back to Discworld
Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Discworld/Quotes?oldid=2033209"