Lords and Ladies/Tear Jerker

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


  • Nanny is trying to convince the Elf king to step in.

"One day." Nanny nodded. "Yes. I'll drink to that. One day. Who knows? One day. Everyone needs 'One Day'. But it ain't today. D'you see? So you come on out and balance things up. Otherwise, this is what I'll do. I'll get 'em to dig into the Long Man with iron shovels, y'see, and they'll say, why, it's just an old earthworks, and pensioned-wizards and priests with nothin' better to do will pick over the heaps an' write dull books on burial traditions and suchlike, and that'll be another iron nail in your coffin. And I'd be a little bit sorry about that, 'cos you know I've always had a soft spot for you. But I've got kiddies, y'see, and they don't hide under the stairs because they're frit of the thunder, and they don't put milk out for the elves, and they don't hurry home because of the night, and before we go back to them dark old ways I'll see you nailed!"

  • The bit where we find out that Esme Weatherwax remained a virgin for the rest of her life after Mustrum Ridcully left Lancre.
  • Verence, King of Lancre, sleeping on the floor of his room because that's how he'd always done.
    • No. No, that's not why he did it at all. When he was a Fool, he slept in front of the door of his master. Now that he's King, he's still doing it.
  • The account of Esme's mother's funeral, where she didn't cry until the clock stopped ticking, meaning the house didn't feel lived-in anymore.
  • This exchange, where the seemingly eternally confident Granny Weatherwax finally cracks a bit.

Granny: I'm getting old.
Nanny: You're only as old as you feel.
Granny: That's what I mean.

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