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Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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{{quote| '''The Doctor:''' When you go home you can tell everyone you’ve seen Shakespeare.<br />
{{quote|'''The Doctor:''' When you go home you can tell everyone you’ve seen Shakespeare.
'''Martha:''' Then I can get sectioned! }}
'''Martha:''' Then I can get sectioned! }}


This episode contains a lot of very silly Shakespeare jokes, almost all of which are ''also'' actually very clever, very obscure Shakespeare jokes in disguise. We open in extremely Elizabethan London, where a young man courts a damsel via period song. The damsel (unlike [[Romeo and Juliet|Juliet]]), rejects the idea of waiting until marriage, and invites the man up. She then pulls a [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Darla]] and toys with him a bit before putting on her witchy gameface, inviting in her equally witchy mothers, and devouring her ardent swain. [[Accidental Aesop|This is not about premarital sex or gay marriage being evil, though.]] It's just campy.
This episode contains a lot of very silly Shakespeare jokes, almost all of which are ''also'' actually very clever, very obscure Shakespeare jokes in disguise. We open in extremely Elizabethan London, where a young man courts a damsel via period song. The damsel (unlike [[Romeo and Juliet|Juliet]]), rejects the idea of waiting until marriage, and invites the man up. She then pulls a [[Buffy the Vampire Slayer|Darla]] and toys with him a bit before putting on her witchy gameface, inviting in her equally witchy mothers, and devouring her ardent swain. [[Accidental Aesop|This is not about premarital sex or gay marriage being evil, though.]] It's just campy.


Post-credits, enter the Doctor and Martha, off to the Globe Theater to see ''[[Loves Labours Lost]]''. Martha is concerned about [[For Want of a Nail|stepping on a butterfly]] or encountering old-timey racism, but the Doctor shrugs these off. This will [[Doctor Who (TV)/NS/Recap/S3 E8 Human Nature|come back to bite her in a few episodes]]. The Doctor riffs on the parallels between London then and now, including analogizing a crazy doomsayer to "[[Global Warming]]". [[Accidental Aesop|This isn't an attack on climate theory, though.]] It's just silly.
Post-credits, enter the Doctor and Martha, off to the Globe Theater to see ''[[Love's Labour's Lost]]''. Martha is concerned about [[For Want of a Nail|stepping on a butterfly]] or encountering old-timey racism, but the Doctor shrugs these off. This will [[Doctor Who/Recap/S29/E08 Human Nature|come back to bite her in a few episodes]]. The Doctor riffs on the parallels between London then and now, including analogizing a crazy doomsayer to "[[Hollywood Global Warming]]". [[Accidental Aesop|This isn't an attack on climate theory, though.]] It's just silly.


At Martha's instigation, Shakespeare comes out after the play to address the audience. The witches magic him into promising to perform the sequel, ''Love's Labors Won'', ''tomorrow night''. The Doctor, knowing that this play is a [[Missing Episode]], realizes something is afoot. The pair decide to stay the night in Shakespeare's inn, and get to meet the dude. Shakespeare is a genius-level but bawdy empath, clever enough to be immune to psychic paper (although he does love the word "psychic"). He hits on Martha, but blows it by constantly referencing her race. "It's [[Political Correctness Gone Mad]]," mutters the Doctor.
At Martha's instigation, Shakespeare comes out after the play to address the audience. The witches magic him into promising to perform the sequel, ''Love's Labors Won'', ''tomorrow night''. The Doctor, knowing that this play is a [[Missing Episode]], realizes something is afoot. The pair decide to stay the night in Shakespeare's inn, and get to meet the dude. Shakespeare is a genius-level but bawdy empath, clever enough to be immune to psychic paper (although he does love the word "psychic"). He hits on Martha, but blows it by constantly referencing her race. "It's [[Political Correctness Gone Mad]]," mutters the Doctor.
Line 13: Line 13:
[[There Is Only One Bed]]. They both crawl in, their faces very close... and the Doctor tells her that there's something he's... missing. Something... staring right into his eyes. Something... close, but just out of reach. "Rose would know what to do," he sighs moodily, oblivious to the sexual tension. Martha looks extremely annoyed. Meanwhile, the witch has crept in at night in order to plant some words in Shakespeare's script. Martha sees the witch flying off on her broomstick, and bemusedly IDs her.
[[There Is Only One Bed]]. They both crawl in, their faces very close... and the Doctor tells her that there's something he's... missing. Something... staring right into his eyes. Something... close, but just out of reach. "Rose would know what to do," he sighs moodily, oblivious to the sexual tension. Martha looks extremely annoyed. Meanwhile, the witch has crept in at night in order to plant some words in Shakespeare's script. Martha sees the witch flying off on her broomstick, and bemusedly IDs her.


This clue, along with the murder of the Master of the Revels, leads the Doctor and Martha to Bedlam, the insane asylum, with Shakespeare tagging along. They interview the architect who designed the Globe -- fourteen sides, like fourteen lines in a sonnet--and realize the plan: the performance of ''Love's Labor's Won'' will be a spell to allow the witches to take over Earth. A witch shows up and kills off the architect... way too late, as the Doctor has worked out the witches' [[True Name]]...Carrionite. The mere word banishes her, and the trio split up: Shakespeare to stop the performance of the play, and the Doctor and Martha to find Witch Headquarters.
This clue, along with the murder of the Master of the Revels, leads the Doctor and Martha to Bedlam, the insane asylum, with Shakespeare tagging along. They interview the architect who designed the Globe—fourteen sides, like fourteen lines in a sonnet—and realize the plan: the performance of ''Love's Labor's Won'' will be a spell to allow the witches to take over Earth. A witch shows up and kills off the architect... way too late, as the Doctor has worked out the witches' [[True Name]]...Carrionite. The mere word banishes her, and the trio split up: Shakespeare to stop the performance of the play, and the Doctor and Martha to find Witch Headquarters.


They don't exactly succeed. Shakespeare bursts onto the stage and announces that the show must not go on, but is K.O.'d by witch magic. Will Kemp improvises an excellent triple-meaning couplet: if "Will" refers to Shakespeare, it's him dismissing the warning as drunken ramblings. If "Will" refers to Kemp, it's a mock-apology for his own silliness (emphasized with a goofy caper). If "Will" is the Elizabethan-era slang for penis, it's a joke about alcohol-induced [[The Loins Sleep Tonight|sexual impotence]]. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Martha find the youngest witch and try the naming again, but it turns out "[[It Only Works Once]]". The witch tries it on Martha, but Martha's anachronism saves her from permanent harm. The Doctor, of course, has no discernible name. So the witch vamps him instead, gets a lock of his hair, and stops his heart. One of them, anyway. Martha wakes up, improvises some first aid to get the afflicted heart going, and they're off to back up Shakespeare.
They don't exactly succeed. Shakespeare bursts onto the stage and announces that the show must not go on, but is K.O.'d by witch magic. Will Kemp improvises an excellent triple-meaning couplet: if "Will" refers to Shakespeare, it's him dismissing the warning as drunken ramblings. If "Will" refers to Kemp, it's a mock-apology for his own silliness (emphasized with a goofy caper). If "Will" is the Elizabethan-era slang for penis, it's a joke about alcohol-induced [[The Loins Sleep Tonight|sexual impotence]]. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Martha find the youngest witch and try the naming again, but it turns out "[[It Only Works Once]]". The witch tries it on Martha, but Martha's anachronism saves her from permanent harm. The Doctor, of course, has no discernible name. So the witch vamps him instead, gets a lock of his hair, and stops his heart. One of them, anyway. Martha wakes up, improvises some first aid to get the afflicted heart going, and they're off to back up Shakespeare.


But they're too late! At the play's end, two noblemen recite an odd invocation that allows the whole Carrionite race, [[Sealed Evil in A Can|sealed off long ago]], to show up in the Globe. Shakespeare, the Doctor and Martha form an impromptu [[Power Trio]]: Shakespeare improvises a counterspell, flanked by the Doctor providing the right numbers and Martha providing the Anachronism: "[[Harry Potter (Literature)|Expelliarmus!]]" The spell imprisons the witches in their own crystal ball, and conveniently destroys all copies of the play. Let's pause a moment to discuss how awesome this is. The leader of the [[Power Trio]] banishes his enemy to scream for all eternity in a [[Fate Worse Than Death]], by shouting "Expelliarmus" to the heavens. As of the time this show was written and released (after book 6, before book 7), this was not at all how Expelliarmus worked. ''Later'', in ''[[Harry Potter (Franchise)/Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows|Harry Potter]]'', {{spoiler|this is how Harry defeats Voldemort.}} So this is an impossible anachronism even in the real world. It happened, presumably, because Expelliarmus is a cool enough word that it became an [[Ensemble Darkhorse]] of ''[[Harry Potter (Literature)|Harry Potter]]'' spells, leading independently to both Gareth Roberts and J.K. Rowling promoting it to its most dramatic possible use. The word expelliarmus was genius enough to create some real-life magic. It was, as the episode put it, a Word of Power. That, and it rhymed.
But they're too late! At the play's end, two noblemen recite an odd invocation that allows the whole Carrionite race, [[Sealed Evil in a Can|sealed off long ago]], to show up in the Globe. Shakespeare, the Doctor and Martha form an impromptu [[Power Trio]]: Shakespeare improvises a counterspell, flanked by the Doctor providing the right numbers and Martha providing the Anachronism: "[[Harry Potter (novel)|Expelliarmus!]]" The spell imprisons the witches in their own crystal ball, and conveniently destroys all copies of the play. Let's pause a moment to discuss how awesome this is. The leader of the [[Power Trio]] banishes his enemy to scream for all eternity in a [[Fate Worse Than Death]], by shouting "Expelliarmus" to the heavens. As of the time this show was written and released (after book 6, before book 7), this was not at all how Expelliarmus worked. ''Later'', in ''[[Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (novel)|Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows]]'', {{spoiler|this is how Harry defeats Voldemort.}} So this is an impossible anachronism even in the real world. It happened, presumably, because Expelliarmus is a cool enough word that it became an [[Ensemble Darkhorse]] of ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]'' spells, leading independently to both Gareth Roberts and J.K. Rowling promoting it to its most dramatic possible use. The word expelliarmus was genius enough to create some real-life magic. It was, as the episode put it, a Word of Power. That, and it rhymed.


In the end, Martha is revealed to be the Dark Lady, the unknown (and speculated to be imaginary) African woman to whom Shakespeare wrote several sonnets, including the ''Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?'' one, which he starts to recite to her. Oh, and he casually figures out that the Doctor is otherworldly and Martha is from the future. They are interrupted, though, by Queen Elizabeth I, who showed up to congratulate Shakespeare on his [[All Part of the Show|excellent special effects]]. A Whole Lot of Running ensues when it turns out that Elizabeth considers the Doctor her "sworn enemy" for something he hasn't done yet. As of ''[[Doctor Who (TV)/NS/Recap/S4 E17 E18 The End of Time|The End of Time]]'', we know that this was {{spoiler|briefly marrying her while on vacation}}.
In the end, Martha is revealed to be the Dark Lady, the unknown (and speculated to be imaginary) African woman to whom Shakespeare wrote several sonnets, including the ''Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?'' one, which he starts to recite to her. Oh, and he casually figures out that the Doctor is otherworldly and Martha is from the future. They are interrupted, though, by Queen Elizabeth I, who showed up to congratulate Shakespeare on his [[All Part of the Show|excellent special effects]]. A Whole Lot of Running ensues when it turns out that Elizabeth considers the Doctor her "sworn enemy" for something he hasn't done yet. As of ''[[Doctor Who/Recap/S30/E17 E18 The End of Time|The End of Time]]'', we know that this was {{spoiler|briefly marrying her while on vacation}}.


== Tropes ==
== Tropes ==
* [[All Part of the Show]]
* [[All Part of the Show]]
* [[And I Must Scream]]:
* [[And I Must Scream]]:
{{quote| '''The Doctor:''' I've got a nice attic in the TARDIS where this lot can scream for all eternity, and I've gotta take Martha back.}}
{{quote|'''The Doctor:''' I've got a nice attic in the TARDIS where this lot can scream for all eternity, and I've gotta take Martha back.}}
* [[Arbitrary Skepticism]]: The Doctor scoffs at the existence of witchcraft, but Martha reminds him that she just discovered that time travel is real.
* [[Arbitrary Skepticism]]: The Doctor scoffs at the existence of witchcraft, but Martha reminds him that she just discovered that time travel is real.
* [[Arc Number]]: This episode only, 14. It turns out to be because the witches' solar system has 14 planets.
* [[Arc Number]]: This episode only, 14. It turns out to be because the witches' solar system has 14 planets.
* [[Badass Boast]]: Shakespeare's final lines against the Carrionites.
* [[Badass Boast]]: Shakespeare's final lines against the Carrionites.
{{quote| {{spoiler|Close up this din of hateful dire decay.}}<br />
{{quote|{{spoiler|Close up this din of hateful dire decay.}}
{{spoiler|Decomposition of your witches' plot.}}<br />
{{spoiler|Decomposition of your witches' plot.}}
{{spoiler|You thieve my brains, consider me your toy}}<br />
{{spoiler|You thieve my brains, consider me your toy}}
{{spoiler|My doted Doctor tells me I am not!}}<br />
{{spoiler|My doted Doctor tells me I am not!}}
{{spoiler|Foul Carrionites fester, cease your show.}}<br />
{{spoiler|Foul Carrionites fester, cease your show.}}
{{spoiler|Between the points - Seven six one three nine 0.}}<br />
{{spoiler|Between the points - Seven six one three nine 0.}}
{{spoiler|Banished like a tinker's cuss,}}<br />
{{spoiler|Banished like a tinker's cuss,}}
{{spoiler|I sing to thee EXPELLIARMUS!}} }}
{{spoiler|I sing to thee EXPELLIARMUS!}} }}
* [[Badass Bookworm]]/[[Badass Bystander]]: William Shakespeare, The Word-Smith. He didn't plan on fighting witches, but was quick to adapt to the changes brought forth by the Carionites and the Doctor.
* [[Badass Bookworm]]/[[Badass Bystander]]: William Shakespeare, The Word-Smith. He didn't plan on fighting witches, but was quick to adapt to the changes brought forth by the Carionites and the Doctor.
* [[Bizarre Alien Biology]]: The Carrionite witch Lillith creates a voodoo doll and stabs one of the Doctor's hearts. He gets by well enough on the other one until Martha gets it going again.
* [[Bizarre Alien Biology]]: The Carrionite witch Lillith creates a voodoo doll and stabs one of the Doctor's hearts. He gets by well enough on the other one until Martha gets it going again.
* [[Bi the Way]]: [[William Shakespeare]].
* [[Bi the Way]]: [[William Shakespeare]].
{{quote| "We can all have a good flirt later --"<br />
{{quote|"We can all have a good flirt later --"
"Is that a promise, Doctor?"<br />
"Is that a promise, Doctor?"
"Ooh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air." }}
"Ooh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air." }}
* [[Continuity Nod]]: The Doctor calls himself [[Doctor Who (TV)/NS/Recap/S2 E2 Tooth and Claw|Sir Doctor of TARDIS]].
* [[Continuity Nod]]: The Doctor calls himself [[Doctor Who/Recap/S28/E02 Tooth and Claw|Sir Doctor of TARDIS]].
** The Doctor mentions [[Doctor Who (TV)/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion/Recap|the Sycorax]]. Shakespeare uses the name for [[The Tempest|one of his characters]].
** The Doctor mentions [[Doctor Who/Recap/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion|the Sycorax]]. Shakespeare uses the name for [[The Tempest|one of his characters]].
* [[Description Cut]]: The Doctor rabbiting on about Shakespeare being a wordsmith, only for the man himself to rudely tell everyone to shut up.
* [[Description Cut]]: The Doctor rabbiting on about Shakespeare being a wordsmith, only for the man himself to rudely tell everyone to shut up.
* [[Doomsayer]]: He's quite delighted that the end of the world is happening, crying: "I told ye so! I told ye so!"
* [[Doomsayer]]: He's quite delighted that the end of the world is happening, crying: "I told ye so! I told ye so!"
* [[Mr. Fanservice]]: Will Shakespeare himself. It helps that this story happens before he lost his hair.
* [[Mr. Fanservice]]: Will Shakespeare himself. It helps that this story happens before he lost his hair.
* [[The Exit Is That Way]]
* [[The Exit Is That Way]]
* [[Grandfather Paradox]]:
* [[Grandfather Paradox]]:
{{quote| "What if I kill my grandfather?"<br />
{{quote|"What if I kill my grandfather?"
"Are you ''planning'' to?" }}
"Are you ''planning'' to?" }}
* [[Historical Hero Upgrade]]: [[William Shakespeare]].
* [[Historical Hero Upgrade]]: [[William Shakespeare]].
* [[Historical In-Joke]]:
* [[Historical In-Joke]]:
** ''[[https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Love<!-- 27s_Labour27s_Won Love's Labour's Won]]'' is a lost play today because it was commandeered into a spell to release the Carrionite race. When the spell is reversed, the play vanishes along with the Carrionites. -->
** ''[[wikipedia:Love's Labour's Won|Love's Labour's Won]]'' is a lost play today because it was commandeered into a spell to release the Carrionite race. When the spell is reversed, the play vanishes along with the Carrionites.
** The Doctor feeding Shakespeare his own lines. Specifically, it resolves the [[Brick Joke]] of the Sycorax set up in [[Doctor Who (TV)/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion/Recap|"The Christmas Invasion"]]; Sycorax is a witch mentioned in ''[[The Tempest]]'', and where Shakespeare got the name is a bit of an academic mystery -- as far as anyone can find she's not a figure from mythology, and if it's a [[Meaningful Name]] it's far from obvious what the meaning is. "The Christmas Invasion" used it as the name of an alien species, with no explanation/comment, and this episode has Shakespeare hear the Doctor talking about them and likes the sound of it.
** The Doctor feeding Shakespeare his own lines. Specifically, it resolves the [[Brick Joke]] of the Sycorax set up in [[Doctor Who/Recap/2005 CS the Christmas Invasion|"The Christmas Invasion"]]; Sycorax is a witch mentioned in ''[[The Tempest]]'', and where Shakespeare got the name is a bit of an academic mystery—as far as anyone can find she's not a figure from mythology, and if it's a [[Meaningful Name]] it's far from obvious what the meaning is. "The Christmas Invasion" used it as the name of an alien species, with no explanation/comment, and this episode has Shakespeare hear the Doctor talking about them and likes the sound of it.
** Shakespeare's reaction to Martha's appearance foreshadows the reveal that she's his Dark Lady.
** Shakespeare's reaction to Martha's appearance foreshadows the reveal that she's his Dark Lady.
* [[It Only Works Once]]: The power of a [[True Name]].
* [[It Only Works Once]]: The power of a [[True Name]].
* [[Magic From Technology]]: Sort of. The Doctor points out that the Carrionites' powers only seem like magic because earth's science is math-derived while the Carrionites instead learned how to [[Words Can Break My Bones|manipulate words]].
* [[Magic From Technology]]: Sort of. The Doctor points out that the Carrionites' powers only seem like magic because earth's science is math-derived while the Carrionites instead learned how to [[Words Can Break My Bones|manipulate words]].
* [[Moment Killer]]: For once it's not the Doctor who does this.
* [[Moment Killer]]: For once it's not the Doctor who does this.
{{quote| '''Shakespeare:''' [[Celibate Hero|The Doctor may never kiss you]], why not entertain a man who will?<br />
{{quote|'''Shakespeare:''' [[Celibate Hero|The Doctor may never kiss you]], why not entertain a man who will?<br />
'''Martha:''' I don't know how to tell you this, oh great genius, but... your breath doesn't half stink. }}
'''Martha:''' I don't know how to tell you this, oh great genius, but... your breath doesn't half stink. }}
* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]]: Dewfinger, maybe not. But Bloodtide? Definitely.
* [[Names to Run Away From Really Fast]]: Dewfinger, maybe not. But Bloodtide? Definitely.
* [[Noodle Incident]]: "I can't wait to find out!"
* [[Noodle Incident]]: "I can't wait to find out!"
** [[Doctor Who (TV)/NS/Recap/S4 E17 E18 The End of Time|As it turns out]], Queen Bess just {{spoiler|isn't happy seeing her ex again}}.
** [[Doctor Who/Recap/S30/E17 E18 The End of Time|As it turns out]], Queen Bess just {{spoiler|isn't happy seeing her ex again}}.
* [[No Sell]]: Shakespeare is too good for the Doctor's psychic paper.
* [[Won't Work On Me]]: Shakespeare is too good for the Doctor's psychic paper.
* [[Oblivious to Love]]: The Doctor doesn't realise how [[There Is Only One Bed]] can be interpreted; even more what it means when a young attractive woman accepts.
* [[Oblivious to Love]]: The Doctor doesn't realise how [[There Is Only One Bed]] can be interpreted; even more what it means when a young attractive woman accepts.
{{quote| '''Doctor:''' There's something I'm missing, Martha. ''(She turns to lie face-to-face with him, their eyes inches apart)'' Something really close, staring me right in the face and I can't see it. ''(pause)'' Rose would know. That friend of mine, Rose. Right now, she'd say exactly the right thing. ''(flops back over on his back)'' Still, can't be helped. You're a novice, never mind. I'll take you back home tomorrow.<br />
{{quote|'''Doctor:''' There's something I'm missing, Martha. ''(She turns to lie face-to-face with him, their eyes inches apart)'' Something really close, staring me right in the face and I can't see it. ''(pause)'' Rose would know. That friend of mine, Rose. Right now, she'd say exactly the right thing. ''(flops back over on his back)'' Still, can't be helped. You're a novice, never mind. I'll take you back home tomorrow.
'''Martha:''' ''(hurt and angry)'' Great! ''(She turns her back on him and blows out the candle)'' }}
'''Martha:''' ''(hurt and angry)'' Great! ''(She turns her back on him and blows out the candle)'' }}
* [[Playing Possum]]: The Doctor does this to convince Lilith to leave after the first stab.
* [[Playing Possum]]: The Doctor does this to convince Lilith to leave after the first stab.
* [[The Power of Acting]]
* [[The Power of Acting]]
* [[Rhymes On a Dime]]: The witches, whether they're incanting or not.
* [[Rhymes on a Dime]]: The witches, whether they're incanting or not.
* [[Running Gag]]: "No... no, don't do that" makes another appearance.
* [[Running Gag]]: "No... no, don't do that" makes another appearance.
** Within the episode, "I might use that!"
** Within the episode, "I might use that!"
Line 76: Line 76:
* [[Shakespeare in Fiction]]
* [[Shakespeare in Fiction]]
* [[Sherlock Scan]]: Shakespeare is very good at picking out the unusual details of the Doctor and his companion, and by the end of the episode has worked out who they are.
* [[Sherlock Scan]]: Shakespeare is very good at picking out the unusual details of the Doctor and his companion, and by the end of the episode has worked out who they are.
* [[Shout Out]]: See above, re: ''[[Harry Potter (Literature)|Harry Potter]]''. And apparently the Doctor read Book 7 early. There's also one toward ''[[Back to The Future]]''.
* [[Shout-Out]]: See above, re: ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]''. And apparently the Doctor read Book 7 early. There's also one toward ''[[Back to The Future]]''.
** Also, The Doctor says that Martha is from [[Marx Brothers|Freedonia.]]
** Also, The Doctor says that Martha is from [[Marx Brothers|Freedonia.]]
* [[There Is Only One Bed]]: There's just one double bed in the room The Doctor and Martha share. The Doctor doesn't find this situation uncomfortable at all.
* [[There Is Only One Bed]]: There's just one double bed in the room The Doctor and Martha share. The Doctor doesn't find this situation uncomfortable at all.
* [[True Name]]
* [[True Name]]
* [[Words Can Break My Bones]]
* [[Words Can Break My Bones]]
* [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]]: The witches are finally destroyed with a shout of "[[Harry Potter|Expelliarmus!]]" The Doctor reacts to the destruction by shouting, "Good old, [[JK Rowling|JK]]!"
* [[Weapons Grade Vocabulary]]: The witches are finally destroyed with a shout of "[[Harry Potter|Expelliarmus!]]" The Doctor reacts to the destruction by shouting, "Good old, [[J. K. Rowling|JK]]!"
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: "Verily! Forsooth! Egads!"
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: "Verily! Forsooth! Egads!"


{{reflist}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Doctor Who (TV)/Recap]]
[[Category:Recap]]
[[Category:Doctor Who NSS 3 E 2 The Shakespeare Code]]
[[Category:Doctor Who/Recap]]
[[Category:Recap]][[Category:Pages with comment tags]]
[[Category:{{TOPLEVELPAGE}}]]
[[Category:Doctor Who]]

Latest revision as of 19:54, 9 September 2023


The Doctor: When you go home you can tell everyone you’ve seen Shakespeare.
Martha: Then I can get sectioned!

This episode contains a lot of very silly Shakespeare jokes, almost all of which are also actually very clever, very obscure Shakespeare jokes in disguise. We open in extremely Elizabethan London, where a young man courts a damsel via period song. The damsel (unlike Juliet), rejects the idea of waiting until marriage, and invites the man up. She then pulls a Darla and toys with him a bit before putting on her witchy gameface, inviting in her equally witchy mothers, and devouring her ardent swain. This is not about premarital sex or gay marriage being evil, though. It's just campy.

Post-credits, enter the Doctor and Martha, off to the Globe Theater to see Love's Labour's Lost. Martha is concerned about stepping on a butterfly or encountering old-timey racism, but the Doctor shrugs these off. This will come back to bite her in a few episodes. The Doctor riffs on the parallels between London then and now, including analogizing a crazy doomsayer to "Hollywood Global Warming". This isn't an attack on climate theory, though. It's just silly.

At Martha's instigation, Shakespeare comes out after the play to address the audience. The witches magic him into promising to perform the sequel, Love's Labors Won, tomorrow night. The Doctor, knowing that this play is a Missing Episode, realizes something is afoot. The pair decide to stay the night in Shakespeare's inn, and get to meet the dude. Shakespeare is a genius-level but bawdy empath, clever enough to be immune to psychic paper (although he does love the word "psychic"). He hits on Martha, but blows it by constantly referencing her race. "It's Political Correctness Gone Mad," mutters the Doctor.

There Is Only One Bed. They both crawl in, their faces very close... and the Doctor tells her that there's something he's... missing. Something... staring right into his eyes. Something... close, but just out of reach. "Rose would know what to do," he sighs moodily, oblivious to the sexual tension. Martha looks extremely annoyed. Meanwhile, the witch has crept in at night in order to plant some words in Shakespeare's script. Martha sees the witch flying off on her broomstick, and bemusedly IDs her.

This clue, along with the murder of the Master of the Revels, leads the Doctor and Martha to Bedlam, the insane asylum, with Shakespeare tagging along. They interview the architect who designed the Globe—fourteen sides, like fourteen lines in a sonnet—and realize the plan: the performance of Love's Labor's Won will be a spell to allow the witches to take over Earth. A witch shows up and kills off the architect... way too late, as the Doctor has worked out the witches' True Name...Carrionite. The mere word banishes her, and the trio split up: Shakespeare to stop the performance of the play, and the Doctor and Martha to find Witch Headquarters.

They don't exactly succeed. Shakespeare bursts onto the stage and announces that the show must not go on, but is K.O.'d by witch magic. Will Kemp improvises an excellent triple-meaning couplet: if "Will" refers to Shakespeare, it's him dismissing the warning as drunken ramblings. If "Will" refers to Kemp, it's a mock-apology for his own silliness (emphasized with a goofy caper). If "Will" is the Elizabethan-era slang for penis, it's a joke about alcohol-induced sexual impotence. Meanwhile, the Doctor and Martha find the youngest witch and try the naming again, but it turns out "It Only Works Once". The witch tries it on Martha, but Martha's anachronism saves her from permanent harm. The Doctor, of course, has no discernible name. So the witch vamps him instead, gets a lock of his hair, and stops his heart. One of them, anyway. Martha wakes up, improvises some first aid to get the afflicted heart going, and they're off to back up Shakespeare.

But they're too late! At the play's end, two noblemen recite an odd invocation that allows the whole Carrionite race, sealed off long ago, to show up in the Globe. Shakespeare, the Doctor and Martha form an impromptu Power Trio: Shakespeare improvises a counterspell, flanked by the Doctor providing the right numbers and Martha providing the Anachronism: "Expelliarmus!" The spell imprisons the witches in their own crystal ball, and conveniently destroys all copies of the play. Let's pause a moment to discuss how awesome this is. The leader of the Power Trio banishes his enemy to scream for all eternity in a Fate Worse Than Death, by shouting "Expelliarmus" to the heavens. As of the time this show was written and released (after book 6, before book 7), this was not at all how Expelliarmus worked. Later, in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, this is how Harry defeats Voldemort. So this is an impossible anachronism even in the real world. It happened, presumably, because Expelliarmus is a cool enough word that it became an Ensemble Darkhorse of Harry Potter spells, leading independently to both Gareth Roberts and J.K. Rowling promoting it to its most dramatic possible use. The word expelliarmus was genius enough to create some real-life magic. It was, as the episode put it, a Word of Power. That, and it rhymed.

In the end, Martha is revealed to be the Dark Lady, the unknown (and speculated to be imaginary) African woman to whom Shakespeare wrote several sonnets, including the Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? one, which he starts to recite to her. Oh, and he casually figures out that the Doctor is otherworldly and Martha is from the future. They are interrupted, though, by Queen Elizabeth I, who showed up to congratulate Shakespeare on his excellent special effects. A Whole Lot of Running ensues when it turns out that Elizabeth considers the Doctor her "sworn enemy" for something he hasn't done yet. As of The End of Time, we know that this was briefly marrying her while on vacation.

Tropes

The Doctor: I've got a nice attic in the TARDIS where this lot can scream for all eternity, and I've gotta take Martha back.

  • Arbitrary Skepticism: The Doctor scoffs at the existence of witchcraft, but Martha reminds him that she just discovered that time travel is real.
  • Arc Number: This episode only, 14. It turns out to be because the witches' solar system has 14 planets.
  • Badass Boast: Shakespeare's final lines against the Carrionites.

Close up this din of hateful dire decay.
Decomposition of your witches' plot.
You thieve my brains, consider me your toy
My doted Doctor tells me I am not!
Foul Carrionites fester, cease your show.
Between the points - Seven six one three nine 0.
Banished like a tinker's cuss,
I sing to thee EXPELLIARMUS!

  • Badass Bookworm/Badass Bystander: William Shakespeare, The Word-Smith. He didn't plan on fighting witches, but was quick to adapt to the changes brought forth by the Carionites and the Doctor.
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: The Carrionite witch Lillith creates a voodoo doll and stabs one of the Doctor's hearts. He gets by well enough on the other one until Martha gets it going again.
  • Bi the Way: William Shakespeare.

"We can all have a good flirt later --"
"Is that a promise, Doctor?"
"Ooh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air."

"What if I kill my grandfather?"
"Are you planning to?"

  • Historical Hero Upgrade: William Shakespeare.
  • Historical In-Joke:
    • Love's Labour's Won is a lost play today because it was commandeered into a spell to release the Carrionite race. When the spell is reversed, the play vanishes along with the Carrionites.
    • The Doctor feeding Shakespeare his own lines. Specifically, it resolves the Brick Joke of the Sycorax set up in "The Christmas Invasion"; Sycorax is a witch mentioned in The Tempest, and where Shakespeare got the name is a bit of an academic mystery—as far as anyone can find she's not a figure from mythology, and if it's a Meaningful Name it's far from obvious what the meaning is. "The Christmas Invasion" used it as the name of an alien species, with no explanation/comment, and this episode has Shakespeare hear the Doctor talking about them and likes the sound of it.
    • Shakespeare's reaction to Martha's appearance foreshadows the reveal that she's his Dark Lady.
  • It Only Works Once: The power of a True Name.
  • Magic From Technology: Sort of. The Doctor points out that the Carrionites' powers only seem like magic because earth's science is math-derived while the Carrionites instead learned how to manipulate words.
  • Moment Killer: For once it's not the Doctor who does this.

Shakespeare: The Doctor may never kiss you, why not entertain a man who will?

Martha: I don't know how to tell you this, oh great genius, but... your breath doesn't half stink.

Doctor: There's something I'm missing, Martha. (She turns to lie face-to-face with him, their eyes inches apart) Something really close, staring me right in the face and I can't see it. (pause) Rose would know. That friend of mine, Rose. Right now, she'd say exactly the right thing. (flops back over on his back) Still, can't be helped. You're a novice, never mind. I'll take you back home tomorrow.
Martha: (hurt and angry) Great! (She turns her back on him and blows out the candle)