Why You Should Destroy the Planet Earth: Difference between revisions

{{How-To Guide}}

{{quote|'''Henchman''':'' Wait I thought we were '''conquering''' Earth!''

 

So you're an aspiring [[Omnicidal Maniac]], [[How to Invade An Alien Planet|alien invader]], or plain old disgruntled [[Mad Scientist]] or [[Evil Sorcerer]] and want to destroy the planet Earth, or at least [[Kill All Humans]]? Good for you! However, to avoid being a gauche [[Generic Doomsday Villain]], why not get yourself a proper motivation to destroy humanity from among the items on this list?

## Humans are destroying the planet Earth's ecosystem, so [[Kill All Humans|killing all humans]] will [[Green Aesop|save the planet]]... oh wait, if you destroy the planet, it will also destroy the ecosystem. Well, at least they won't be able to spread like weeds throughout the galaxy, ruining countless other ecosystems.

## [[Abusive Precursors|After creating your race, they've been bad parents.]]

## [[In Your Nature to Destroy Yourselves|They'll destroy themselves anyway]], so why not do it <s>humanely</s> alienly?

## [[Anti-Human Alliance|Because it will help patch up relations with neighboring aliens]].

## Because humans [[Scary Dogmatic Aliens|are an inferior race]] and their existence disturbs the [[Crystal Spires and Togas|serenity and peace]] of your [[Can't Argue with Elves|wise, benevolent, and in every way more advanced culture]]. If you wait too long the humans will be [[Screw You, Elves|ungrateful for being shown your obvious superiority]].

## Because a band of bratty teenagers [[The Tripods|found some hand grenades and blew up some of your people]]. Who knows what the rest of them might do?

## Worse yet - because they invented [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|this site]].

## Because they even have sites [[Humans Are Insane|discussing the reasons for their own destruction!]]

# Because [[Aliens Are Bastards]].

## It would bring [[Proud Warrior Race|glory to your race]].

## [[Neglectful Precursors|After creating humanity, you just want to mess with them.]]

## [[Abusive Precursors|You created humanity to mess with them.]]

## Because [[Humans Are Ugly|humans are just plain hideous]].

## [[Iji|Because other aliens have destroyed every other planet already.]]

## [[Disproportionate Retribution|Because you got a traffic ticket]] last time you visited Earth and are [[Hair-Trigger Temper|real sore about it]].

## Because your reasons are [[Eldritch Abomination|utterly incomprehensible]].

# Because Aliens are ''[[Eldritch Abomination|alien]].'' And [[Horde of Alien Locusts|hungry.]]

## [[I'm a Humanitarian|Humans]] taste [[To Serve Man|yummy.]]

## [[Planet Eater|The Planet Earth tastes yummy.]]

## Because Earth is [[Sarcasm Mode|clearly]] a hideous [[Death World]] with a poisonous atmosphere and creatures nothing short of [[Eldritch Abominations]]. It is [[Starfish Aliens|your race's]] ''[[Necessarily Evil|duty]]'' to eliminate this terror from the universe.

# [[Omnicidal Maniac|Because You Can.]]

## Because [[Break the Cutie|you had a bad day]], [[The Woobie|everyone hates or bullies you]], and [[God Is Evil|God]] and [[Crapsack World|the world]] are [[The Chew Toy|bent on making you suffer,]] while being unable to commit suicide alone, and [[Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds|the only way to make it stop is]] [[Suicidal Cosmic Temper Tantrum|subjecting all to euthanasia]]. ''Waaaaaah!'' Or getting [[There Are No Therapists|therapy]], but that's expensive.

## [[Looney Tunes|Because it obstructs your view of Venus.]]

## Because it's in the way of a [[Hitchhikers Guide|hyperspace bypass]].

## Because [[They Called Me Mad|they called you mad]]. You'll show them, '''YOU'll SHOW THEM ALL!!!'''' Muwahahahahahaha!!!!! They may not have been wrong, though...

## Because [[If I Can't Have You|if you can't have it, nobody will]]!

## Because it's [[But for Me It Was Tuesday|Tuesday]].

## Because you're bored and [[Pastimes Prove Personality|need something to do]] . I think everyone should destroy a planet at least once. [[Evil Feels Good|It is so invigorating]].

## Because [[Nietzsche Wannabe|life is meaningless, morality a sham and love, hope and dreams are illusions of a deluded mind!]] Therefore the only worthwhile purpose left is to destroy everything and [[Suicidal Cosmic Temper Tantrum|put an end to the pointless suffering that is existence!!!]]

## Because you are [[Victory Is Boring|bored conquering other races]], you are [[Challenge Seeker|seeking a challenge]] and earth contains the [[Humans Are Warriors|only race in the galaxy]] worth the bother of destroying.

 

And of course, it's absolutely possible to [[Mike Nelson, Destroyer of Worlds|destroy the planet Earth, or some other world, purely by accident]].

 

* qntm.org has [http://qntm.org/?why such a list].

 

[[Category:Speculative Fiction Tropes]]

[[Category:This Index Earth]]