View source for Why You Should Destroy the Planet Earth

{{How-To Guide}}
{{quote|'''Henchman''':'' Wait I thought we were '''conquering''' Earth!''
'''Mastermind''':'' Destroying is conquering. It's true - I looked it up.''
|'''[[Mastermind (web animation)|Mastermind]]''': World Conqueror }}

So you're an aspiring [[Omnicidal Maniac]], [[How to Invade An Alien Planet|alien invader]], or plain old disgruntled [[Mad Scientist]] or [[Evil Sorcerer]] and want to destroy the planet Earth, or at least [[Kill All Humans]]? Good for you! However, to avoid being a gauche [[Generic Doomsday Villain]], why not get yourself a proper motivation to destroy humanity from among the items on this list?

# Because [[Humans Are the Real Monsters]].
## [[Humans Are Warriors|Humans are warlike]], and it's better to [[Kill'Em All|kill 'em]] [[Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto Us|before they kill you!]]
## In point of fact: [[Babylon 5|They killed your leader!]]
## Not only that, they have a [[Ender's Game|school in space dedicated to teaching kid geniuses how to destroy you]].
## Because [[Humans Are Cthulhu|humanity poses a real threat]] to your [[Hidden Elf Village|Hidden]] [[Our Elves Are Better|Space-Elf]] [[Hidden Elf Village|Village.]]
## Humans are destroying the planet Earth's ecosystem, so [[Kill All Humans|killing all humans]] will [[Green Aesop|save the planet]]... oh wait, if you destroy the planet, it will also destroy the ecosystem. Well, at least they won't be able to spread like weeds throughout the galaxy, ruining countless other ecosystems.
## [[Abusive Precursors|After creating your race, they've been bad parents.]]
## In fact, they [[Turned Against Their Masters|enslaved]] your [[Battlestar Galactica (2004 TV series)|robotic]]/genetic ancestors [[Creating Life|after creating them.]]
## [[In Your Nature to Destroy Yourselves|They'll destroy themselves anyway]], so why not do it <s>humanely</s> alienly?
## [[Anti-Human Alliance|Because it will help patch up relations with neighboring aliens]].
## Because [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|they invented]] [[Take That|pop music]], Disco or Rap.
## Because humans [[Scary Dogmatic Aliens|are an inferior race]] and their existence disturbs the [[Crystal Spires and Togas|serenity and peace]] of your [[Can't Argue with Elves|wise, benevolent, and in every way more advanced culture]]. If you wait too long the humans will be [[Screw You, Elves|ungrateful for being shown your obvious superiority]].
## Because a band of bratty teenagers [[The Tripods|found some hand grenades and blew up some of your people]]. Who knows what the rest of them might do?
## Because humans are dirty. Heck they even [[Fridge Brilliance|named their planet]] [[Planet Terra|dirt.]]
## Worse yet - because they invented [[Tropes Will Ruin Your Life|this site]].
## Because they even have sites [[Humans Are Insane|discussing the reasons for their own destruction!]]
# Because [[Aliens Are Bastards]].
## It would bring [[Proud Warrior Race|glory to your race]].
## Because [[Humans Are Special|humanity poses a potential threat]] to your [[Evil Empire]].
## Because your ten thousand year old empire cannot tolerate any [[Traveller|other race learning the secret of interstellar travel and forming an empire of its own]].
## [[Neglectful Precursors|After creating humanity, you just want to mess with them.]]
## [[Abusive Precursors|You created humanity to mess with them.]]
## [[Alien vs. Predator|Because the aliens you planted on the planet eons ago have escaped]], so [[Gone Horribly Wrong|kill them before they can spread any further]].
## Because [[Humans Are Ugly|humans are just plain hideous]].
## [[Iji|Because other aliens have destroyed every other planet already.]]
## For reasons your [[Puny Earthlings|puny mind]] wouldn't [[Blue and Orange Morality|understand.]]
## Because you are collecting [[Galactic Conqueror|conquests]].
## For the [[For the Evulz|pure joy]] of it.
## [[But for Me It Was Tuesday|We destroyed]] [[Insignificant Little Blue Planet|an "Earth"?]]
## [[Fantastic Racism|Because humans are a blight]] [[Scary Dogmatic Aliens|and the universe must be cleansed of impurity]].
## [[Disproportionate Retribution|Because you got a traffic ticket]] last time you visited Earth and are [[Hair-Trigger Temper|real sore about it]].
## Because your reasons are [[Eldritch Abomination|utterly incomprehensible]].
# Because Aliens are ''[[Eldritch Abomination|alien]].'' And [[Horde of Alien Locusts|hungry.]]
## [[I'm a Humanitarian|Humans]] taste [[To Serve Man|yummy.]]
## [[Planet Eater|The Planet Earth tastes yummy.]]
## [[StarCraft|Their planet is contaminated by another alien species]].
## Because Earth is [[Sarcasm Mode|clearly]] a hideous [[Death World]] with a poisonous atmosphere and creatures nothing short of [[Eldritch Abominations]]. It is [[Starfish Aliens|your race's]] ''[[Necessarily Evil|duty]]'' to eliminate this terror from the universe.
## Because humans (or their [[Our Souls Are Different|souls or something]]) [[Powered by a Forsaken Child|make a good power source]], say perhaps because your race can [[Puella Magi Madoka Magica|harvest the energy of their emotions]] by engaging in vaguely [[Deal with the Devil|Faustian]] bargains with humans, and destroying the Earth is the fastest way to get all all those little emotions.
# [[Omnicidal Maniac|Because You Can.]]
## Because [[Break the Cutie|you had a bad day]], [[The Woobie|everyone hates or bullies you]], and [[God Is Evil|God]] and [[Crapsack World|the world]] are [[The Chew Toy|bent on making you suffer,]] while being unable to commit suicide alone, and [[Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds|the only way to make it stop is]] [[Suicidal Cosmic Temper Tantrum|subjecting all to euthanasia]]. ''Waaaaaah!'' Or getting [[There Are No Therapists|therapy]], but that's expensive.
## [[For Science!]]! ... or because everybody expects you to.
## [[Looney Tunes|Because it obstructs your view of Venus.]]
## Because it's in the way of a [[Hitchhikers Guide|hyperspace bypass]].
## Because you need to create a hyperspace shortcut so [[Justice League (animation)|you can attack your enemy's homeworld directly]].
## Because [[They Called Me Mad|they called you mad]]. You'll show them, '''YOU'll SHOW THEM ALL!!!'''' Muwahahahahahaha!!!!! They may not have been wrong, though...
## Because [[If I Can't Have You|if you can't have it, nobody will]]!
## Because [[Katamari Damacy|you had too much to drink]]. Admit it, already!
## Because it's [[But for Me It Was Tuesday|Tuesday]].
## Because you're bored and [[Pastimes Prove Personality|need something to do]] . I think everyone should destroy a planet at least once. [[Evil Feels Good|It is so invigorating]].
## Because [[Nietzsche Wannabe|life is meaningless, morality a sham and love, hope and dreams are illusions of a deluded mind!]] Therefore the only worthwhile purpose left is to destroy everything and [[Suicidal Cosmic Temper Tantrum|put an end to the pointless suffering that is existence!!!]]
## [[Warhammer 40,000|Because you ran out of other stuff to fight.]]
## Because you are [[Victory Is Boring|bored conquering other races]], you are [[Challenge Seeker|seeking a challenge]] and earth contains the [[Humans Are Warriors|only race in the galaxy]] worth the bother of destroying.

And of course, it's absolutely possible to [[Mike Nelson, Destroyer of Worlds|destroy the planet Earth, or some other world, purely by accident]].

== Off-site references: ==
* qntm.org has [http://qntm.org/?why such a list].

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[[Category:Speculative Fiction Tropes]]
[[Category:This Index Earth]]
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