UHF (film)/Funny

For starters, "SUPPLIES!".
"Nothing! Absolutely Nothing! Stupid! YOU SO STUPID!"
"Just call me Mr. Butterfingers!"
The second bit with Uncle Nutsy's Clubhouse, wherein George tells the children about how horrible life is, followed by an incredibly pessimistic explanation of the Roadrunner cartoons as George slips into tears.

George: Right now I'd like to show you one of my favorite cartoons. It's a sad, depressing story about a pathetic Coyote who spends every waking moment his life in the futile pursuit of a sadistic roadrunner, who mocks him and laughs at him as he's repeatedly crushed and maimed! I hope you enjoy it!

- The preceding bit where one of the children complains "I wanna go home" and George immediately snaps back with "Shut up, you little weasel!"
"You found the marble in the oatmeal! You get to drink from the FIRE HOSE!"
"We don't need no stinking badgers!"
"...With just a hint of cheese."
The end, where we find out Philo's true identity.
George's desperate phone call to Teri. Especially the high-pitched intake of breath at the end of the clip.
John Paragon's performance as Richard Fletcher, the middle-aged news correspondent still desperately trying to seek the approval of his father, who just happens to be R.J. Fletcher.

R.J.: What do you think R.J. Fletcher Senior would be saying if he were alive today?!
Richard: [whispered to his associates] Help! let me out of this box! I can't breathe in here! Hey, let me out!!

"Today, we teach poodles to fly!" Tears. Breathing problems. Falling out of furniture.
Stanley basically driving Fletcher's gang of thugs bonkers while being held captive...especially his sudden, out-of-the-blue rendition of the Bonanza theme song. Stanley waving his mop around as a light saber (complete with *WHOOM WHOOM* sound effects) as well.
Stanley's speech (the Shout-Out to Network is of course a Crowning Moment of Awesome, but the fact that he takes the original angry rant and turns it into something about cleaning floors...

"This is my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. This is a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop. I miss my first mop, but this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives ya, 'cause life is like a mop and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff... you, you, you gotta clean it out. You, you, you gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again and, and sometimes, sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad you know a mop, a mop, it's not good enough, it's not good enough. You, you gotta get down there, like, with a toothbrush, you know, and you gotta, you gotta really scrub 'cause you gotta get it off. You gotta really try to get it off. But if that doesn't work, that doesn't work, you can't give up. You gotta, you gotta stand right up. You, you gotta run to a window and say, 'Hey! These floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take it any more!'"

George at the Channel 8 building and finding Stanley fighting one of Fletcher's goons over the mop.
Spatula City, for being more than just a fleeting one-off, but drawn out to a full 30-second commercial with thoroughly-detailed set.

Announcer: What better way to say "I love you" than with the gift... of a spatula?

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