The Cabin in the Woods/Funny

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


(Jules is holding complex textbooks)
Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?
Jules: From you, okay? I learned it from watching you!

  • The evil unicorn. Just...the evil unicorn.
  • The clown, disturbing as it may have been.
  • The stoner character Marty remaining "sober" while everyone else succumbs to the mind-control chemicals.

"And that makes...what kind of sense?"

"Oh, come on..."

    • Angry Molesting Tree
  • Dana making out with Holden.

Dana: I've never done anything like this before
(Dana looks away, and takes a more serious tone)
Dana: Well...not never.

    • Of course, this turns into Fridge Horror when you realize she only said that because she's being forced in the Virgin role, despite not actually being a virgin.
  • A lot of the quips between the villains, particularly when they're making fun of Mordecai, the crazy gas station hick.
    • In a later scene, some Japanese school girls exorcise the spirit that was attacking them. Sitterson is not amused.

"FUUUUCK YOOOOOUUUU!!! Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!"

Curt: I'm thinking this thing doesn't take credit cards.
Marty: I don't think it knows about money. I think it's barter gas.

Mordecai: You know damn well what war I'm referring to.
Marty: Was it the one where the Blues fought the Greys? Maybe it was brother against...brother?
Mordecai: *stares menacingly*
Marty: *walking away* I heard the railroads will be coming here soon. It's going to be the next big thing. Streets paved with actual street!

  • The results of the workroom bet, split between maintenance and Ronald the intern, complete with the latter jumping and celebrating.
  • When they find the artifact:

Marty: Ok, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand, here. DON'T READ THE MYSTERIOUS LATIN!
(Ominous Whispers): Read the Latin................out loud......

  • Marty's mighty resistance to mind control.

Marty: I'm going for a walk.