Sorting Algorithm of Deadness/Real Life

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Sorting Algorithm of Deadness

Using the scientifically Infallible power of the Sorting Algorithm of Deadness, who do you think is the next in line for being brought back from the great Bus in the sky?

To use the Algorithm, simply add the Column's "Death Value", and divide by the number of applicable rows.

Relative deadness factor Deader Than Dead Maybe Back Later Be Back Soon Death? What's That?
Death Value 4 3 2 1
Cause of death Irony, Bridge Drop, Overkill, Stuffed in The Fridge, Ret-Gone Redemption, Sacrifice, Bus Crash, Mortal Wound Reveal No One Could Survive That, just plain killed in battle Jumping
Audience Expectation Anyone Can Die, Kill'Em All Killed Off for Real, Tonight Someone Dies Disney Death Back from the Dead, Death Is Cheap, Nobody Can Die
Body Found? Dead and Buried
Only Bits And Pieces		 At The Morgue Never Found, Frozen, Petrified Left for Dead
Reaction Montage, Bond One-Liner He's Dead, Jim It's Personal Faux Death
Last Words Crap, Killed Mid-Sentence, Carry on men, His Name Is-- Catch Phrase, Famous Last Words, Final Speech, Obi-Wan Moment "Fly, you fools!" "Piece of cake" "My Death Is Just the Beginning"
Characterization Red Shirt, Loved One, Mauve Shirt Recurring Character, C-List Fodder Regular Protagonist, Archvillain
When did they die? 10+ years ago, Series Finale 5–10 years ago Same year Same arc
"Died" and come back? Not yet Died once, but got better Twice I've lost count

If the character hasn't died yet (but seems likely to), see Sorting Algorithm of Mortality. All of this is trumped by the First Law of Resurrection.

Currently, Shirley from Code Geass and the real Caulder from Advance Wars: Days of Ruin have scored 4, the highest possible. The latter is more notable by having 4 in every category instead of getting the CLAMP bonus that the former got. No characters have got the lowest possible score of 1 yet, but Davros and The Master are joint leaders in the death defying derby at 1.75, even beating South Park's Kenny.

Baseline Example: The death of Superman.

  • Cause: Heroic Sacrifice, so he's not coming back from that too quickly, or the sacrifice will be cheapened. 3.
  • Genre: It's a comic book, so Death Is Cheap. 1.
  • The Body: Deader Than Dead, a Pietà Plagiarism too for supes sake! So no chance of Faking the Dead. 4.
  • Reaction: Really Dead Montage, uh-oh. 4.
  • Characterization: Protagonist. 1.
  • When did he die: Same year, so 2.
  • Come Back?: This was a first, so 4.
  • Average: So add it up... we get a pretty high score, 19! Since it's not a videogame, divide by 7, and we get... 19/7 = 2.7, meaning supes isn't coming back for at least a few months, maybe even years. In actuality the Death Of Superman happened in January 1993 and he came back some time before May 1994.

Now let's make a prediction with the recent death of Batman in Final Crisis.

  • Cause: Heroic Sacrifice, give or take. 3.
  • Genre: Comic book, so Death Is Cheap. 1.
  • The Body: Dead and buried, but it's a little more complicated. Still, it's a 4.
  • Reaction: He's Dead Clark, plus "Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?" probably counts as a Really Dead Montage. 3.5.
  • Last Words: "Try Me." 3.
  • Characterization: It's The Goddamn Batman, people. 1.
  • When did he die: Same year, so 2.
  • Come Back?: This would be the first time, so 4.
  • Average: 21.5/8= 2.7. A semi-high score, and DC seems to be sticking to this one for a while. Still, he'll definitely be back, likely before the end of 2010 at the latest.

Note: This sub-page is for Real Life examples only. Please ensure that you put new examples in the correct Sorting Algorithm of Deadness sub-page.

Adolf Hitler

While we're on real life examples, Let's do Michael Jackson, cause, let's face it, if anyone's coming back from the dead, it'll be the dude who was already almost a zombie anyway (and recorded Thriller!):

  • Cause: Heart Attack shortly before a comeback tour. I guess either Death by Irony or Bridge Drop - 4
  • Genre: Anyone Can Die - 4
  • Body Found: Deader Than Dead - 4
  • Reaction: Media Hyping and He's Dead, so - 3.5?
  • Characterization: Depends on who you ask, and it's kind of hard to place, so this is inapplicable.
  • When: Earlier this year - 2
  • Come Back: Never - 4
  • 21.5/6 = 3.583. I guess he's staying dead.

Todd Beamer from Flight 93

Elvis Presley

  • Cause: Overkill tinged with Death by Irony—a diet with more cholesterol and fried foods than even Jabba could stomach, mixed with an amount of drugs that would make John Belushi wary? Ain't walking away from that. - 4
  • Genre: Anyone Can Die - 4
  • Body Found: And how... - 4
  • Reaction: Wailing, gnashing of teeth, Montages galore, and a funeral that rivaled some world leaders'. - 4
  • Last Known Words: Unrecorded - 4
  • When: 32 years ago - 4
  • Come Back: Unless you believe he's working a Burger King in Tulsa, the only one was his career's in '68 - 4
  • 28/7= ... you kind of know where this is going. If you believe in ET, now may be the time.

Vladimir Lenin

  • Cause: Stroke? Syphilis? More sinister causes? Take your pick... - 4
  • Genre: Anyone Can Die - 4
  • Body Found: Preserved in Moscow and still on display. Though how much of it is still his body is anyone's guess after close to 100 years. - 4
  • Reaction: They put his body on public display like a relic. This was a government that had, no, still has, a hard time facing up to the fact that Vlad had to meet his maker. - 4
  • Final words: Shortly before his death, he left behind a note that begged the Communist Party to not let Joseph Stalin anywhere near the reins of power (Lenin, who was pretty bloodthirsty though Stalin was too unhinged to be leadership material). The note was conveniently lost. - 3
  • Characterizaton: Depending on which side you were on, either an archvillain or The Messiah, either way it still boils down to 1.
  • When: 1924, so . - 4
  • Come Back: Never. - 4
  • 24/7=3.4. Probably staying dead, but if you're in Moscow, stay alert for any rumblings of "Grrr! Must crush capitalism! Grrr!" from the direction of Lenin's Tomb. Just in case.

Gaius Julius Caesar

  • Cause: Overkill with at least 60 stab wounds. - 4
  • Genre: Anyone Can Die - 4
  • Body Found: He was cremated right in the Forum - 4
  • Reaction: Both Octavian and Marc Antony took it as a pretty major It's Personal. It was also one for Caesar himself, as Brutus, who historians theorize was his illegitimate son, was one of the assassins.- 2
  • Last Words: "Et tu, Brute? or Kai sou, Teknon?, depending on whether or not you want to go with Shakespeare or History... - 3
  • Characterizaton: All over the map. Either conquering hero or irredeemable Archvillain. And, he was deified after his death. - 1
  • When: Well over 2,000 years ago. - 4
  • Come Back: Never. - 4
  • 26/8=3.25. We come not to praise Caesar, but to bury him.
    • At the same time, he does kinda live on, as his great-nephew and adopted son, Octavian/Augustus, would build the Roman Empire that spread Roman civilization and ideals across the known world.

Abraham Lincoln

Average: 24/7=3.428571

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