Skulduggery Pleasant/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


"You are a cynical man, Mr. Pleasant."

"We live in cynical times, Miss Cain."
—Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain.

Valkyrie: Can I ask you a question? And I don't mean this in a bad way, but are you insane?
Skulduggery: Would it make any difference if I was?
Valkyrie: Probably not.
Skulduggery: Then why put labels on ourselves? That's a job for a psychiatrist. We punch people, Valkyrie. That's who we are. Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed.

"Plans are like buses, sometimes they just don't show up when you need one."
—Skulduggery Pleasant.

Valkyrie: So why do they want me to be there? Aren't I the innocent young girl being led astray?
Skulduggery: See, I don't really want them to view you as the innocent young girl. I want them to view you more as the rebellious, insubordinate, troublesome rapscallion who has made herself my partner. Then maybe they'll take pity on me.

Baron Vengeous: As you can see, you are vastly outnumbered.
Skulduggery: I usually am.
Vengeous: Your situation has become quite untenable.
Skulduggery: It usually does.
Vengeous: You are within moments of being swarmed by these filthy creatures of undeath and torn apart in a maelstrom of pain and fury.
(Beat)
Skulduggery: Okay, that's a new one on me.