Political Correctness Gone Mad/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


This song here might offend you some
If it does it's because you're dumb

Frank Zappa,"Wind Up Workin' in a Gas Station"

Grover: Frazzle? But you are not fuzzy and blue. You are fuzzy and orange!
Frazzle: Mrawrarfraramra!
Grover: All right, all right! Just thought I'd mention it.

Sesame Street, "Fuzzy and Blue (And Orange)"

PFY: No I think you mean Affirmative Action. Equal Opportunities means that they'd both be considered regardless of who they were. Affirmative Action is intended to address a perceived lack of some group in a company for PR purposes.
BOFH: Well this flies in the face of my Unequal Opportunities Policy!
Boss: Your what?!?
BOFH: Unequal Opportunities Policy. Which is basically 'if you can do the job, you're in!'. Couldn't give a crap about age, sex, race, etc. It's a simple policy, but it seems to work. Unless...
Boss: Unless what!?
BOFH: Unless you're a thicko. I can't stand thickos. No offence.
Boss: What do you mean?!
BOFH: Thickos, you know, people who can't... well.. tie their shoelaces without assistance. No offence.
Boss: What do you mean 'no offence'!?
BOFH: Well you know, some people get upset when you say something like that -- especially if they're a complete 'tard. No offence.

—The Bastard Operator From Hell guide to equal opportunities (Episode 5: Affirmitive action)
Civilian displacement. We used to just call it "kidnapping" and "forcing people into slavery", but that just didn't test well in today's ever-toughening market.
Mickey the Spider, Fable 2
Constable Habib is a woman of the opposite sex!
Chief Inspector Fouler,The Thin Blue Line
...one of the many fine things one has to admit is the way that the army has carried the American democratic ideal to its logical conclusion in the sense that not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed, and color, but also on the grounds of ability.
Tom Lehrer, It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier

Now this political correctness it must come to an end,
'Cause we're in the business of killing, who gives a fuck if we offend?
I can mow 'em down by the thousands but I can't say a dirty word,
Now that's the dumbest fucking thing that I have ever heard!

Porky: First they tell me to lose the stutter, now they tell me I'm not funny. It's a pain in the butt being p-p-politically correct.
Speedy: You're telling me.

"I know there are people in the world that do not love their fellow human beings -- and I hate people like that."
Tom Lehrer, "National Brotherhood Week"
Bleat, bleat, creature of non-specific colour and species, have you any home-spun fabric? Yes sir or madam, yes sir or madam, enough to share, but not in a communist way. One is for the titled person of non-specific gender, one is for the other titled person of non-specific gender, and one is for the child of non-specific age, height and gender, who co-exists in harmony with the lane, but not in a gay way.
Wil Anderson, The Glass House (on a reworded 'Baa Baa Black Sheep')
"Coming this summer, it's the motion picture that changed America. Saving Private Ryan, the re-re-release, where the word "nazi" has been changed to "persons with political differences," and all their guns have been replaced by walkie-talkies. And now, for your feature presentation: the classic re-re-re-release of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. In this version, the word "Wookie" has been changed to "hair challenged animal" and the entire cast has been digitally replaced by Ewoks."
South Park, "Free Hat"

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it. You can't be politically correct and portray a story like this at the same time. In trying to be politically correct by avoiding sensitive topics, the game undermines its own points, because a lack of these elements makes Columbia look more attractive than it would in reality."

matthewmatosis on the lack of brutal racism in BioShock Infinite, his review.


Edgar Friendly: "You see, according to Cocteau's plan... I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, the freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - 'Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of BBQ ribs with the side order of gravy fries?' I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and BUCKETS of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal? I've SEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing 'I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener.' You live up top, you live Cocteau's way: what he wants, when he wants, how he wants. Your other choice: come down here... and maybe starve to death."
"I don't play colleges, but I hear a lot of people tell me, 'Don't go near colleges. They're so PC. [...] They just want to use these words: 'That’s racist;' 'That’s sexist;' 'That’s prejudice.' They don’t even know what the f—k they’re talking about. [..] I have no interest in gender or race or anything like that. But everyone else is kind of, with their calculating—is this the exact right mix? I think that’s—to me it’s anti-comedy. It’s more about PC-nonsense.”
Jerry Seinfeld on the implications of political correctness on comedy, 2015 ESPN interview.

"[...] [T]here's been a major societal shift over the last few years and I don't want to say the majority of people, but an extremely loud group of people now believe that the Internet should be the safest place on the planet, that everyone should be able to log on and hear nothing but their own opinions echoed out their asshole all day and all night, and if they ever get offended, it's the worst thing in the world and the person that offended them is the worst thing in the world that needs to be thrown in jail for the fucking heathen they are.
And it's just really become this tendency to blow very trivial matters out of proportion because everyone's so afraid of being offended or hearing something that doesn't agree with their opinions. [...]"

Cr1TiKaL (penguinz0), Youtube Age Gate

So I just got a 24 hour ban from Facebook for Violating Community Standards, because I insulted the imaginary people of an imaginary country. Which is kinda hilarious.

Look, calling somebody in a wheelchair "handicapable" doesn't all of a sudden give them the power to climb stairs or give them the ability to grab Ho-Hos off the top shelf.