New Girl/Funny

The montage of Schmidt's various Douchebag Jar filling acts during "Story of the fifty".
Jess explains that while most people do the chickens dance one way and demonstrates with the more common motions, she likes to do a peck because it's more realistic.
- The gang doing the chicken dance in slow motion.
Winston passionately singing along to the Wicked soundtrack on the way to Mexico.
Winston pretending to be gay so Nick's two bickering girlfriends would leave.

Tell them, Nick. Tell them how it really goes down in apartment 4-D!

"I was gonna go milk my cows with my bucket".
"Is it weird that he wants me to speak in a low voice and call me Kevin?"
Schmidt teaching Nick how to be a douche then Jess catches them in bed.

"Oh, my God, is this happening too?"

"I love him! I wanna rub my face on his face!"
Jess and Paul sexual role-play with her as Bette Davis and him as James Stewart.
The landlord thinking he's about to have a 3-way with Jess and Nick.
Why is the cast of The Social Network in our apartment?
"You are not gonna regret this". (Gilligan Cut to Jess crying while watching Dirty Dancing)
Schmidt doing a sexy dance while Japanese businessmen watch.
Attempts to defrost Hank the turkey in "Thanksgiving".
"That's second base? That means I'm not a virgin anymore."
A stranger and his nana giving young Jess candy.
"And my checks have baby farm animals on them, bitch!"
Schmidt refusing to dress as sexy Santa Claus, Cinco de Sexy or sexy Martin Luther King.
Schmidt pronouncing chutney as "chut-a-ney".
Schmidt's 2007 new years resolution list.

"Find out where Winston gets his sparkle and then steal it".

"I don't think she knows what motorboating means".
Backslide: Two words: Tom Waits.

Schmidt: Was that true that Cece would eat me up? 'Cause I got the prime rib, yo. Carving station, sneeze guard, kids eat for free. Let's just forget that last part, though.

Jess attempts to scare off a potential roommate by hissing at him.
Winston's fear of the dark.