NCIS/Quotes

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TSA Agent Dennis: NCIS? That anything like CSI? Tony:: Only if you're dyslexic.

Gibbs: Some idiot smuggled a koala onto a submarine. Grab your gear!

Kate: I can't give him Air Force One's floor plans, they're top secret! Gibbs: Come on, Agent Todd. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie.

Ziva: [at the copy machine] Die, you stupid machine! McGee: She seems unfazed. Tony: Those are standard Mossad-style copy machine assault tactics, McGee. She's fine.

Franks: My brother and I married the same woman twice. Gibbs: Twice? Franks: She was a hell of a woman, Probie!

Tony: Suspect is claiming he went to bed with one woman and woke up with another. Abby: That happens to girls too. At night some guy seems all dark and gnarly, then you wake up and his tattoos are fake and he works in a bank. Tim: I used to work at a bank. Abby: Your tat is real. And you don’t disappoint me.

Ziva: What's the matter, Tony? Afraid of a little pussy...cat?

Tony: You have thirty seconds to live, Saleem. Saleem: You're still bound. You're lying. Tony: I can't lie, and I didn't say I was the one who was going to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper? <BLAM!!>

Ziva: Oh! My first time was in a weapons carrier! Abby and McGee: Of course it was.

[after surviving a car bomb] Tony: Boss? You remember when I said I never felt better? [[[Beat]]] I lied.