My Stupid Reality

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

My Stupid Reality by Twisted Grim is a Death Note Fanfic in which the Great Detective L is rounding up genius children for some nefarious purpose and so Light Yagami has pretended to be stupid for all his life. It works up until his senior year of high school when Light makes Just One Little Mistake that puts L on his trail...


Tropes used in My Stupid Reality include:

Watari: L, you are not going to lock up the poor boy just because he has no wish to be a detective.

Naomi: How often do you find yourself lying?
Light: Ha! My whole life has been a lie.
Naomi: That's sad.

Sayu: Hehe I just don't understand why we're in this old abandon warehouse. I mean when we showed up here, my first thought was that you were going to show me all your murder victims. And then when I screamed you were going to 'add me to your collection'.
(Dramatic Ellipsis)
Light: What the hell, Sayu?
Sayu: Hey! It was only a little less likely!
Light: Less likely then what?
Sayu: You being gay.
Light: I shouldn't have asked.
Sayu: Hey it's possible.
Light: So you think I'm a gay murderer?
Sayu: A gay mass murderer, yes. Now all we need is a sexy gay detective, and I have a yaoi manga! Quick! Go kiss Matsuda!

Light: That is beyond wrong on way too many levels!

L: The mirror had to be removed after the last tester, remember?
Watari: Oh, that's right. I don't know how I managed to forget that.
L: That one was particularly awful, wasn't it? I never thought anyone would surpass A in imaginative suicides.

Light: I'm... Asahi Kira.
Misa: Kira? Like 'killer' in English?

Light (thinking): Slut, (page turn) slut, (page turn) slut, (page turn) not even 18, (page turn) slut, (page turn) whore, (page turn) gross, (page turn) eww, just eww. This just sucks.

Light (to the mud on his clothes): I think we should see other people. This relationship isn't going to work out. I mean, I should be with a shower right now, and you down the drain; maybe with a nice dead goldfish to hang with...

Light: One does not just randomly select a question or 2 and try to get them wrong. No. Nor do you do it to every 4th question or some other such ridiculous, predictable pattern like that. The key lies in, like all things, strategy. You need to choose ahead of time a subject or 2 your awful at, a few your neutral, and 1 your good at. Then whenever you get homework, consistently get the same basic principals wrong, and get it wrong on the test as well. Also, you have to make a show of not paying attention in class, or else suspicions will be raised, and you'll be given a special "learning disability," and assigned a tutor pronto.

L: Wherever it is that you, my true successor, are hiding, enjoy your last few days of normalcy. L's life is a hard one. One you're going to start soon. No matter who or where you are. I'll find you. And when I do, you're not getting away from me. I am justice, and justice will always prevail.
Somewhere in the world, a certain Light Yagami sneezed.

Watari: Light Yagami, I feel bad for you.
L: Why for him?
Watari: He's your obsession. That poor kid is doomed.
L: No, he will be my successor. He is not doomed.