MARDEK/Funny

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Multiple Chapters:

• Practically everything the Governance de Magi says while staging its council meetings. Especially Melchior's lines. In particular:

(The Governance de Magi is asking for volunteers to go after Rohoph) Melchior: I'd go, but I need to wash my hair. Gaspar: YOU DON'T FOOLIN' WELL HAVE ANY PRUNIN' HAIR, YOU LAGABOUTIN' SPOUTIN' POUTIN' TROUT! Melchior: So it will take a very long time to wash it. You see, mathematically, since I have no hair, and dividing by zero results in infinity, it shall take an infinite amount of time to wash my hair.

• • Every single thing Solaar says.
  • Also, Saul, an over-the-top necromancer who narrates his life in a mixture of Purple Prose and Stylistic Suck.

Chapter 2:

Mardek: Well, I'd only kill a guy if he killed me first!

• The encyclopedia's description of the zombie locksmith miniboss.

WHY A ZOMBIE LOCKSMITH?! WHY?! WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! IT DOESN'T FIT IN ANYWHERE AT ALL!! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

Chapter 3:

(Gaspar is talking about how he will kill Mardek's party before they level up enough to pose a threat) Melchior: But what if they all use their soul transfer thingy-majigs? Balthazar: I keep telling you: humans cannot do that, myes. They are weak and pathetic and they can't even perceive psychic energy waves or electromagnetic radiation. Melchior: You have to believe, Balthy. You have to believe.

• • Take Vehrn and Elywen into the Dark Temple. Talk to Elywen. Do the same, but with Elwyen and Solaar. Laughter will ensue.