Ineffectual Death Threats/Quotes

Crystal: You little twit, I'm gonna kill you!
Belkar: Yeah, and I'm gonna drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic here, shall we? I mean, if you said, "You little twit, I'm going to temporarily inconvenience you!" I'd think, hey, she might really mean it! But seriously, you? Kill me? Never going to happen.

—The Order of the Stick

It's nice to have a friend to help you get to Heaven...
A special friend who's got an AK-47...

—Sock's Jingle, The Stephanie Miller Show

Han Solo: Welcome aboard Mon Remonda. Let's get the rest of your pilots in... so I can get out of this torture suit.
Wedge Antilles: But, sir, I was just going to say how smart you looked in your uniform. I think we ought to stay here, in uniform, a couple of hours so the holographers can capture the image. You know, for the historians.
Han: Wedge, I think I'm going to have you killed.
Wedge: Yes, sir. I trust you'll wear your dress uniform for an event like that.

—X-Wing: Solo Command

SILENCE! I keel you!

—Achmed the Dead Terrorist

"Every night for the next year he always said something like that to me: 'Thank you for everything, Westley, good night now, I'll probably kill you in the morning.'"

—Westley, The Princess Bride

EEEEEEENGH! I'll strangle that Clyde Cash!

—Christian Weston Chandler, Sonichu

"Oh, not now, Locksley! M gonna kill you! Gonna kill you!"

—The Sheriff, Robin Hood

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