If You Want Something Done Right, Do it Yourself

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

A Stock Phrase. Characters who use this phrase are usually the ones who decide to do something their subordinates failed to do on their behalf. Never send an amateur to do a job you need an expert for, namely, the guy in charge.

The hero, anti-hero, or sidekick might discover her teammate in the Five-Man Band dropped the holy gem needed to defeat the god villain, was killed off, or simply missed the plane. The villain, anti-villain, or last remaining sane mook might notice that the other mooks didn't kill the hero. Either way, this person gathers the team's weapons, spells, and doomsday devices, and mutters "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

Whatever the case, someone - possibly a Non-Action Guy, Non-Action Big Bad, Retired Badass, or someone who otherwise avoids getting involved is sick of having to relay the important tasks to incompetent underlings who keep messing up. Punishing or berating them doesn't help, and the replacements are just as bad. Whatever his reasons are for avoiding taking action, he can't stand on the sidelines any longer. Time for Orcus to get off his throne.

If Authority Equals Asskicking, then this is a character's chance to prove it or risk being shown to be a Paper Tiger. This may lead to a potent and epic confrontation, or it may lead to whoever it is remembering just why he doesn't do it more often. One way or another, however, it's going to end differently.

Compare Risking the King.

Examples of If You Want Something Done Right, Do it Yourself include:

Anime and Manga

  • Throughout most of their appearances in One Piece, the Five Celestial Dragons seem to be Non-Action Big Bad types, doing little but discuss their plans, give orders to the Marines (and in Smoker's case, a promotion), and take orders from Imu, their mysterious superior. In the Egghead Arc, however, one of them, Saint Jaygarcia Saturn (the first to be named, given his role in the Arc) decides to personally accompany Admiral Kizaru on the mission to eliminate Dr. Vegapunk. As of February 2023 (chapter 1075) the outcome of this decision has yet to be seen.

Film

  • The Fifth Element: Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg mutters "If you want something done, do it yourself" as he marches up the stairs, holding a ray gun and a crate.

Live-Action TV

  • Power Rangers Zeo: After so many monsters failed to defeat the Rangers, King Mondo decided to destroy them himself. There was a reason the episode where he did it was titled "Mondo's Last Stand", namely a lying writer.

Video Games

  • In Overwatch, one of Torbjörn's kill quips in gameplay was this. It made sense, since he sees himself as responsible if his inventions fell into the wrong hands (such as Talon's).

Western Animation

  • Dick Dastardly occasionally invoked this trope in Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines.
  • Baron Otto Matic twisted the trope in a Tom Slick episode where he entered his lackey Clutcher in a blimp race. As the Baron explained, if you want something right to go wrong, do it yourself.
  • Garfield and Friends:
    • Episode "The Pizza Patrol" featured a pizza parlor that featured the Thirty Minutes or It's Free policy. After Garfield tricks the delivery boys into missing the deadline every time one of them has to deliver a pizza, the pizza parlor's owner tries to deliver it himself.
    • In another episode, local mailman Herman Post is fired and his former boss, not able to find a mailman willing to take over the turf out of fear of Garfield, decides to deliver the mail himself. After enduring Garfield, he begs Herman to take the job back.
  • In Steven Universe, Holly Blue Agate uttered this line while drawing her whip and attacking Steven and company.
  • In the Samurai Jack episode "Jack vs Aku", after the robot assassins that Aku sends after Jack fail even worse than they usually do, he slumps in his throne and mutters, "Guess it's true what they say, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself..." Then he gets an idea on a way he can do just that, leading to the conflict in the title.
  • In the Codename: Kids Next Door episode "Operation: T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G.", Father invokes this Trope after yelling at his moronic henchman who didn't know the vault at the Arctic Base was locked, and starts burning it open on his own.
  • From the Looney Tunes short, "Water, Water, Every Hare", the Evil Scientist sends his Laughably Evil trained monster Rudolph after Bugs Bunny, but Bugs manages to avoid and outsmart him, eventually using "reducing oil" to shrink Rudolph to the size of a mouse. Unfortunately, Bugs then has to deal with the far-less-laughable Scientist himself. "Never send a monster to do the work of an Evil Scientist," quips the villain.

Real Life


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