I Want to Bear His Children

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A Stock Phrase usually -- but not exclusively -- uttered by a woman when she is impressed or attracted beyond all measure by a man. Acknowledged to be humorous hyperbole in almost all situations, although even so there might still be some degree of Ha Ha Only Serious in play. It can take any of several variant forms, including "I want his baby".

A Gender Flipped version -- "I want to father her children", said when an extraordinary woman has the same kind of impression on a man -- has been seen but is quite rare, possibly because Unfortunate Implications can be read into it. And then there's the male-on-male version which is almost always Played for Laughs.

Unlike many stock phrases, this one is actually used by real people in the real world, examples of which can be found with a simple Google search.

Examples of I Want to Bear His Children include:

Fan Works

• When Ranma Saotome first demonstrates a moko takabisha in Crossover Fic The Wild Horse Thesis, Ritsuko Akagi declares, "Christ, I want to bear his children."

Film

• In the film Earth Girls Are Easy, Candy shouts "I want his baby!" when she sees Wiploc use his extremely long and prehensile tongue.
• At one point in Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Wallace says "I want to have his adopted babies" -- a quote which has launched a thousand Memetic Mutations.

Literature

• Chuck Palahniuk gives the phrase a black comedy twist in Fight Club, when Marla says "I want to have your abortion".

Live-Action TV

• From a season five episode of Charmed comes this exchange:

Leo: How'd it go with the new boss? Phoebe: Oh, Jason Dean? I want to bear his children, but that's besides the point.

• The Blackadder episode "Ink and Incapability" features an extensive Dream Sequence which isn't obvious at first, but which starts getting weirder and weirder, culminating in this exchange, which leads Edmund to realize he's dreaming:

Dr. Johnson: I think it's an awful dictionary. Full of feeble definitions and ridiculous verbiage. Blackadder: Are you sure? Dr. Johnson: I've never been more sure of anything in my life sir. Blackadder: I love you, Dr. Johnson, and I want to have your babies.

Music

• In the song "Earth Girls Are Easy" by Julie Brown, there is this spoken word passage:

Oh, how do I describe it? Well, you know how a blender has twelve speeds? Well, when he got up to "puree" I thought I would die. But when he put it on "liquefy", I wanted his baby!

Periodicals

• A 2006 article from the Yale Daily News about celebrity chef Dave Lieberman (at the time one of People magazine's "50 Hottest Bachelors") concludes with

"I have a massive crush on him," Lauren Harrison '09 said. "I want to bear his children."

Web Original

• One 2001 review for a particular UCLA professor at the "Bruinwalk" website maintained by the UCLA student paper The Daily Bruin says

I want to bear his children, I loved him that much.

• It's not an uncommon comment on sites like RateMyProfessors.com:

Penna is a god. He is amazing and I want to bear his children.

Real Life

• According to a 1999 article from the Edmonton Sun reproduced on musician Harry Connick's website,

Responses among females at the Sun [to Harry Connick] range from "I want to bear his children" to something we can't print.

• One review at Amazon.com for the 2001 album Aghaaz - The Beginning by Middle-Eastern artist Shahzad Haroon reads in its entirety, "This album is great! Shahzad is awesome. I want to bear his children!"