Freelance Astronauts/Funny
Majora's Mask
- Canada and Australia in a buddy cop movie. It starts at 16:32
- Playing "I Would Do Anything For Love" by Meat Loaf over the end of the world, which syncs up incredibly well.
- Kafei would do anything for love, but he won't do that.
- Ferr and Evek's utter lapse of sanity at the tedium of the Oceanside Spider House.
- Maxwell getting seemingly pissed off about the lack of nudity in an ongoing hentai LP (this was before those were banned on SA).
Doomisland: Go read the Hentai Let's Play. |
- Chapter 8-1: the commentators begins discussing mummies as if they're a bad group that troubled kids could fall into.
Ferr: Hey kids, today we're here to talk about the dangers of hanging around with mummies. (others chuckle, pipes! begins beatboxing) |
- Link getting gang-raped by zombies He goes from full-health to 1 and 1/4 health in the span of about 20 seconds.
Evek: (after several seconds of everyone laughing) They're lining up! (laughter) |
- This troper is disappointed no one's linked to Maxwell letting us know he's going to fuck her gently.
- It starts at about 7:30, for inquiring minds.
- In Chapter 3-6, Ferr does his JFK impression while pipes! channels Woody Allen. Hilarity Ensues.
- Ferr and Pipes! imitating a typical husband and angry wife who kicks him out of the house.
- In Chapter 3-2, Ferr has a half-minute impromptu jam session of random sounds and gibberish that eventually culminates in a hoedown. Maxwell's reaction to it is merely the icing on the cake.
- Eventually, when Ferr, Evak, and doomisland, or pipes!, get together they start saying any red text aloud which gets pretty damn funny.
Maxwell: My neighbors are gonna think I'm starting the weirdest cult... |
Master Quest
- Most of the following can be found in this video.
- The Astronauts' LP of Zelda Master Quest is very funny in it's own right, but particularly so during the Jabu-Jabu dungeon, which, I'll remind you, is inside the stomach of a giant fish. Highlights include Maxwell freaking out over the cows embedded in the stomach walls that act as switches, Pipes! trying to gross everybody out, and all four of the Astronauts reaction to Princess Ruto wanting to marry Link.
Maxwell: Why were the blushing marks necessary? Or that camera angle? |
- First thing they do after arriving in the future? Spend several minutes admiring Sheik's tight ass.
- And then later, when Sheik is referred to as a male in-game:
Ferr: Huh. Well, maybe everyone was tricked, okay? ..I'm not gay. |
- After finally beating the Forest Temple,
"HI THERE! I'M THE DEKU SPROUT! I BREATHE YOUR OUT-BREATHE! I'M MADE OUT OF BARK! I LIVE WHERE MY ROOTS ARE!" |
- Pipes! referring to "The invisible walls you can't touch". Very Zen, very unintentionally funny.
Maxwell: Also, there's gonna be plenty of invisible walls that you can run through. |
- Everything involving the aforementioned walls. It's not until well into the Spirit Temple that Maxwell catches a break.
Ferr: I don't know where I'm going, but I'm making great time! |
- On wall location:
Maxwell: I get the feeling that there's a wall you can walk through... |
- Right after the Dead Hand fight, this comes back in an interesting way.
Maxwell: They hid the key over here. I'm impressed by what a jerky move that was. |
- Occasionally they get distracted by the dungeon map...
Pipes: You know what this dungeon map looks like? A big old freak hand that's reaching out and touching you even though you're not getting touched. |
- And last, but not least, the collective reaction when Maxwell explains one of the many thrilling puzzles in the Spirit Temple.
Ferr: As opposed to the intuitive puzzles in this game, which include burning zombies and mummies, which don't actually solve the puzzle because you already solved the puzzle. |
- The Master Quest ending.
- Or after learning the Prelude of Light, 5 minutes of horrible puns ensue, each and every one followed by a dull thump as Ferr gets punched for them over and over.
We've reached peak pun. |
- Which episode of the LP is this? I can't seem to find it.
- Episode 37. Ferr begins the punning quite early on, but it really kicks into high gear starting from 5:40 and then just snowballs.
- In this video as well.
- Which episode of the LP is this? I can't seem to find it.
- While wandering around the Forest Temple with no clue where they're meant to be going:
This is like an insight into your future with Alzheimer's. |
- Doesn't help they sequence broke it.
- In the Forest Temple, after making NO progress for all too long a time, Maxwell finds a key. Cue Ferr (13:19).
Ferr: * With the Item Get Jingle* HOLY FUCK A KEY! |
- Earlier, when little Lunk is running through Kakariko and picks up a Cucco, there's a sudden shout of (and to the tune of the Item Get jingle) "YOU GOT A COOOOOOOOOCK!" causing everyone else to laugh riotously.
Evek: Oh, we're not subtle at all. |
- The many deaths of
LinkLunk in the Spirit Temple as Maxwell keeps falling into the pit. Over and over. - Late into the first quarter or so of the LP, while they were staying up all night trying to race to see if they could beat the game before the end of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Hilarity ensues with sleep deprived babbling and signs of insanity as our four heroes try desperately to stay awake.
- ANOTHER Forest Temple one, when fighting the 2nd Poe sister, they play a certain song (1:08). Link ain't 'fraid of no ghosts!
- One in the Spirit Temple; wherein he keeps sending
LinkLunk right into the middle hole over four times in a row (due to controller problems). Then, later he gets the block in place and jumps down the hole again, just after save-stating in the file, causing this interchange:
Maxwell: State save... that button works...(Lunk takes a plunge down a pit) |
- Ferr somehow gets Red Bull in his eyes.
Ferr: (anguished mumbling) |
- Maxwell has one heart arriving at Hyrule Castle for the first time. After cutting down shrubbery to find life ASAP and getting only Deku Nuts:
Maxwell: Oh, come on, shrubbery! |
- Whenever Ferr and Pipes! imitate an awkward encounter between Link and Zelda/Any other character.
- The scene where they play Saria's song for Darunia:
pipes!: Everybody dance now! |
- "Hark! I hear the call of cock!"
- Planning to hijack a Boston Revolutionary War themed tour with costumed guides.[1]
- "IT WASN'T A ROCK...IT WAS A ROCK LOBSTER!"
- This Overused Running Gag from the Dodongo's Cavern:
Maxwell: [Sighs] Give me snacks. |
- The Astronauts on Cowswitches:
Maxwell: --because we think it's actually awesome... Why is there a cow in the wall? |
- Later, when they try to figure out what purpose the cows could serve-- apart from unlocking stuff
Maxwell: Hey, look! It's a cow in the wall! |
[A cow moos] |
- SURPRISE!
- Pipes having a minor meltdown over the cows.
Pipes: If you're a game designer, does jumping into a whale to break a rock to reveal a cow embedded in a wall of meat... [Maxwell starts laughing] is that a logical... a logical thing? |
- Maxwell gradually getting disturbingly comfortable with the cow heads.
Maxwell: [Sighs] Whose idea was it to put cows in the walls? |
- And even later in Hyrule Field...
[Something moos] |
- Even ignoring the cows, there are plenty of memorable moments from Jabu Jabu's stomach.
Maxwell: Is that something I can climb on? |
- The entire discussion about the former hockey theme:
Ferr: Do you know what happened to the old one? The old hockey theme? |
- Maxwell's plans for the future.
Maxwell: I'm really waiting for the day when you, like, introduce the lady that you proposed to so that I can suggest that she's marrying beneath herself. |
- The commentary relating to the boomerang's effectiveness.
Ferr: The boomerang can cut through meat but it can't go through spider web? |
- There are a lot of inane comments in the Deku Tree, too, even before the madness kicks in.
Pipes: Here's your reward, boy! Your eternal reward! |
- Ferr grumbling about the slingshot (which, coincidentally, is right after the above)
Evek: Fairy Slingshot... can't even make it manly. |
- A bit of Black Humor concerning the Gohma larvae.
Pipes: I love that when you shoot them when they're still in their eggs, they make the 'cancel' noise. |
- Maxwell improvising when it comes to the last three Deku (and repeatedly failing).
Pipes: I like that they've activated their alarm system. |
- It's included in the highlights video, but this exchange is great, too:
Ferr: Their creation myth looks like my breakfast. Cereal going into milk. |
- And, finally, Maxwell noting that the challenges he's set for Evek and Pipes [2] haven't been going well.
Maxwell: I noticed that you two are not really holding up your challenges, though. |
- Pipes eventually does (briefly) start enforcing Evek's challenge, by hitting him when he asks a question. Except the one time when Evek blocked a punch with a box of cookies.
- Hell, when the challenges are first given is funny too.
Maxwell: Ferr, your challenge is to not make the farting sound when I use the carrots on the horse. |
- The conversation sparked from Maxwell's explanation of the Minish/why there's stuff in Hyrule's shrubbery.
Pipes: ...I'm gonna pretend I never heard that. |
- The exploration of Kakariko Village nets us a few gems, as well:
Ferr: Did I just miss a ton of old people jokes, 'cause, I think that guy was complaining about young people? |
- The Windmill Hut:
Ferr: What's going on inside [Guru Guru's] box? He looks pretty happy about it... |
- And this exchange, as Maxwell tries to round up the cucoos.
Maxwell: The woman's like 'What the fuck?' |
- Dealings with Kaepora Gaebora:
Maxwell: Who wants to get me a can of Coke? I have to stay here and press the 'A' button repeatedly. It's the only way to make the owl shut up. |
- Maxwell explains that the sages are named after towns from Zelda II the Adventure of Link:
Ferr: Link town? |
- Evek the philosopher strikes again.
Maxwell: [On the way to Medigoron's shop] Oh, come on! Who put all these walls here? |
- Further into the Dodongo's Cavern, Maxwell gets creative in his problem solving.
Maxwell: [On top of a rising block] I'm on this. Now what happens? |
- Likewise...
Ferr: [In response to Maxwell swinging the sword at a locked door] Maybe if you punch in the security code. |
- Maxwell tuning into the movie in the background.
Maxwell: So they start the movie with Gollum now? |
- The Astronauts snarking at Navi's expense after a Dinolfos attacks.
Maxwell: Eh... |
- And this exchange, which barely even makes sense in context.
Ferr: I've thought good and hard about how to build powered rollerskates, and someday I will do it. |
Maxwell: [Enters the bazaar] [[[Beat]]] This isn't the mask shop! |
- Everybody poking fun at the Zelda series' tendency to hide stuff underneath graves.
Maxwell: It's like, 'Yeah, you can have my estate, but first you must move my grave and press the switch underneath.' |
- Shortly after the above, Pipes starts shouting out.
Pipes: We've got a full bag of bombs, half a pack of deku sticks, it's dark out and we're wearing sunglasses. |
- Maxwell attempting to get the piece of heart from the vase in Goron City. For awhile, the conversation just devolves into random utterances, before picking back up.
Maxwell: Okay, new strategy: aiming! |
- One of the 'random utterances' was also worth a chuckle:
Maxwell: Wheel of Goron, turn, turn, turn... |
- This exchange from early in Jabu Jabu's stomach:
Maxwell: Uvulas do not hover under their own power. |
- The ending of episode 17:
Ferr: Save the video! Save the video! Oh my god! Saveitsaveitsaveitsave-- |
- Someone mentioned the "window into your future with Alheimers" bit earlier on, but the tangent that Ferr and Pipes go off onto is hilarious, too:
Pipes: It's like a window into your future with Alheimers. 'I don't know which part of the dungeon I'm in! Are you Link?' |
- Maxwell accidentally using Din's Fire when he meant to use the Lon Lon Milk:
Maxwell: Oh yeah. Milk is five hearts, so I might as well drink milk. [Accidentally uses Din's Fire] Well that's not the button! |
- Maxwell griping about the repetitive Poe battles in the Forest Temple.
Maxwell: That last puzzle was so great, it's time to do the exact thing again. [Pulls out the bow and Joelle warps to another painting] |
- Right after that, Maxwell shoots her painting.
Pipes: Bam! Right in the art! |
- Pipes and Ferr acting like the basement of the Forest Temple is a carnival game.
Pipes: Round and round and round the dungeon goes! Where it stops, nobody knows! One dime is all it takes to riiiide the dungeon! You there, sir! |
- Similar to the above, Pipes and Ferr having a conversation about proper dungeon-keeping and getting distracted.
Pipes: Just once I'd like to go into a dungeon where they keep the boss key under the mat. |
- Maxwell getting himself stuck in the Fire Temple's maze.
Maxwell: This is like every maze, though. You can solve it by constantly turning right. [Turns right, runs straight into a fire wall.] |
- After giving up on Master Quest for the night/morning, Maxwell starts to catch us up to speed:
Maxwell: I seem to have opened up this shortcut here. I seem to be taking it. |
Evek: Just grab it! Run through! [Lunk does so, displaying the hard-won key] Get out of there! No! Don't celebrate! Now what are you doing? [In-scene, the platform falls down on him] Oh, Link... Why would you do a thing like that? |
- When they abandon the Fire Temple (the first time) and head on to the Water Temple instead. Maxwell tries to use an item underwater, prompting the 'can't do that' noise.
Evek: Did Link just cut one, or what? |
- Every time they start making up song names. Examples include:
Pipes: Song of Time? |
Evek: Play the Song of... What-the-Hell. |
Maxwell: [Stands on the (full) well, playing the Sun's Song] Why do I think this works? |
Pipes: Play the Song of Something Else. |
Ferr: Song of Shit! Song of Failure! Song of State-load! |
Maxwell: That little handle thing is sort of sticking out there. |
- Back in the Fire Temple—after a brief stint in the Water Temple—the astronauts find themselves at a (seemingly) dead end. At this point, Maxwell has resorted to trying to open the way with everything from the hammer to Epona's Song.
Pipes: Let me guess-- you have to go to another dungeon, press a switch, and then come back to this dungeon. |
- Just a few minutes into episode 39, you can tell there's some sanity slippage going on. Between Ferr's punning, Maxwell's increasingly desperate (and bizarre) plans, and Pipes' ramblings, it's absolutely hilarious
- Then it gets worse/better. They speed the video up and start quoting Faces of Evil in stereo.
- The mysterious fate of Maxwell's Old Chair.
Pipes: What happened to your old chair? |
- The epic failure of the cucco sacrifice, prior to the Bottom of the Well.
Evek: Throw a chicken down the well. |
- As soon as they get to the Bottom of the Well, Ferr immediately starts questioning it.
Ferr: Shouldn't everything in here be dead because it was underwater thirty seconds ago? |
- Right after that, Maxwell attempts to stun a Redead with limited success.
Maxwell: [Throws the boomerang at a Redead repeatedly] This is probably not improving my relationship with the zombie. |
- Ferr and Evek trying to help Maxwell solve a puzzle.
Maxwell: Yeah, I gotta drain the water and crawl through that hole down there. It'll be fun. |
- Ferr's advice on dungeon decor.
Ferr: You know what this dungeon needs? |
- Why is this working? This isn't actually supposed to work!
- The last room in the Well, particularly the moment when Maxwell activates the last Gibdo and the fact that there wasn't actually anything to do in that room. At all.
- One of the worse traps in the Spirit Temple:
Maxwell: Why is it playing scary music? Why...? [Pans camera up to a Like Like] Oh! Why!? Whyyyyy? |
- Problem solving in the Spirit Temple:
Pipes: Can you put the little block on the big block, then play the Song of Time to bring the big block up here? |
- Pipes getting exasperated by the magical land of Hylia.
Maxwell: Eh... there's gotta be magic somewhere. |
- More nut-related humor as deku nuts fall off a platform.
Pipes: Oh! Nuts lost! |
- Maxwell calling Kaepora Gaebora out.
Maxwell: How can it be a legend if it's happening right now and also in the future? That's the opposite of a legend. |
- The entire bonus episode from the Spirit Temple—the Pet Jenga sections especially.
Pipes: Current theory is that dinosaurs cannot fit coconuts in their mouths. |
- Further into the Spirit Temple, Maxwell demonstrates just how tired of Master Quest he's gotten.
Evek: Let's bomb some dodongos! I can't wait to bomb some dodongos! |
- In the same vein...
Maxwell: I've been wondering lately, what happens if you put a cartridge game in a microwave? I just wish I had a cartridge copy of this game so I could put it in a microwave... just sayin'. |
Maxwell: Where's my heart container? There. No, you've gotta go back in time, then go forward in time, then go back in time again... to hit the same switch three times. To unlock a room that has a heart container. |
- There are quite a few moments from the quest for the Biggoron's Sword, too.
Maxwell: I'm just gonna take a second to appreciate this pose that Link is doing right here. Hand on his heart, cock in his hand. |
- Maxwell and Ferr reliving the best and worst day ever.
Maxwell: When we did the marathon recording session at one point that happened and, uh, Pipes said 'Oh, he clipped it!' and I said 'He didn't clip it, he clopped it!' and that seemed hilarious to me. And in my mind I was saying 'Clippity clopped it, clippity clopped it!' over and over again. I was trying so hard not to laugh. I was so far gone. |
- Their reaction to their advisor getting cut off.
Ferr: 'To get the last bottle you need to catch the ten S' |
- Pipes' transformation into Captain Obvious:
Ferr: I am Captain Planet! |
- Maxwell having a tough time in the Forest Temple section of Ganondorf's Castle.
Maxwell: This time I'm state saving and I'm gonna find out what happens when you go down-- [Lunk falls into an abyss] |
Ferr: Yeah. Welcome to this game. |
- About thirty seconds later, there's Maxwell's 'playing in the sprinkler' moment
Maxwell: Okay. I killed everything and nothing happened... but at least I had the most ridiculous Zelda fight I've ever had. |
- "Oh, I get it! It doesn't make sense, but I get it..."
- There's also Maxwell getting into the enemy's head:
Maxwell: See, this is how I solve the puzzles in this game. I imagine the cruelest setup for a puzzle that they could make and then see if that's the case. In this case I imagine that there's an invisible object inside this that would appear if you used the Lens of Truth, but I guess not. |
- The dungeon just raises one more middle finger to you.
- This may be the one time that Lunk catches a break, and the Astronauts still expect the game to pull one over on them:
[Maxwell steers Lunk onto an unlocked platform to hit an eyeswitch] |
- Maxwell's explanation of steering Lunk into a fire pit.
Maxwell: ...I think that was Lunk's fault. |
Maxwell: Is this punishment or reward for state saving? I can't decide... |
- Evek finally getting an answer to the question he asked the most.
Evek: So this is what Ganon's up to... |
- Pipes trying to figure out how Ganondorf floats in midair and attacks.
Pipes: So, when he's floating around in the air like that... is he building up static? |
- Maxwell wants to see what happens when time runs out during the escape from Ganon's Castle, seeing as he has save states and a fast-forward button, and with 10 seconds left on the clock...
Ferr: Go back in and save the children. |
- Maxwell pouncing on the opportunity to tell us a groan-worthy pun:
Maxwell: Ganon just has the willpower to keep on going. He really puts the 'try' in Triforce. |
- Everybody joking around during the final battle:
Pipes: Nothing says 'final showdown' like 'ocarina' |
- And the Sages' attack:
Ferr: By your powers combined... |
New Super Mario Bros Wii
- Maxwell, pipes!, Ferr and Evek spend the majority of their time on New Super Mario Bros Wii dicking each other over (or more accurately, Maxwell dicking over the other three), the greatest example being when Ferr is trying desperately to get back on his Yoshi, so Pipes! runs down on his Yoshi, eats Ferr, then leaps down a bottomless pit, killing both of them. You can see it here: [1]
- I spoke too soon. This is the greatest dickery ever committed by man to anyone. (Alternate link to the funny part.)
- To clarify for those who don't want to watch it, after ten minutes of a very difficult level that keeps killing the astronauts, Maxwell's running solo to the finish. Just before he hits the flag pole, he purposefully presses A to go into a bubble, dropping out. Here is pipes!'s measured, moderately disagreeing response: "YOU...AAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! YOU COCK NUGGET SHIT FUCKING COCK WAGGLING ASS BUCKING CUNT GRINDING TIT-PUNCHING SHIT HOLE SMEGMA-FACED CLOWN FART!!! I WILL RAPE YOU!!!"
- I spoke too soon. This is the greatest dickery ever committed by man to anyone. (Alternate link to the funny part.)
- At the very start, the Astronauts discuss why Wario wasn't made playable: apparently, Word of God was it was a game balance issue, as Wario's farting power would unbalance the game, and they didn't want to include him without it.
It's FARTS OR NOTHING, damnit! |
- After Maxwell throws Pipes into a Paratroopa and finishes the level while he's dead:
Pipes: OH MY GOD! |
- There's also Ferr singing pirate songs after taking control of a moving platform. Made all the more hilarious because as he's singing, everyone else is being killed over and over by an onslaught of goddamned birds and Parabombs.
- In the same video as Ferr singing, Pipes gains control of the platform with 3 people on it. He moves it forward too quickly, and a giant pillar of fire shoots up in front of them. He tries to stop, but cannot, so he instead accelerates while screaming "TO HELL!", killing all 3 of them. The next 20 seconds of the video are them laughing.[3]
- Made funnier when two of them proclaim that they'll follow Capt. Maxwell to Hell a bit before that.
- In the same video as Ferr singing, Pipes gains control of the platform with 3 people on it. He moves it forward too quickly, and a giant pillar of fire shoots up in front of them. He tries to stop, but cannot, so he instead accelerates while screaming "TO HELL!", killing all 3 of them. The next 20 seconds of the video are them laughing.[3]
- pipes! frequenting shouting something like "Luigi is the best!" and INSTANTLY getting killed for a Karmic Death.
pipes!: Luigi the conqueror! |
- The group loads up World 9-7 and they all make the exact same jump...right into a Piranha Plant. All four of them die from it.
- Bonus: they sing part of the Reading Rainbow theme song, and, reflecting that, one of the tags is "take a look it's in a book".
- The constant panicking of the giant fish in World 9-2.
- In the World One castle, Maxwell tosses pipes! into the lava, and then goes after Evek and Ferr. The subsequent chaos is hysterical.
- The bonus video featuring the astronauts "Riding the Snake", complete with quotes from SNL and pretending the snake is a roller coaster by cheering unenthusiastically.
- "What the hell is your dick problem?"
- "Who's Luigi now, Luigi?!"
- At the end:
pipes!: (as the first hot-air balloon takes off without Luigi) Luigi walk home. |
- Pretty much any moment where the Astronauts get to ride Yoshis is going to be funny, with cries such as "Ow! You ate me!" and "Stop eating me damnit!" as they use the Yoshis to further dick each other over and struggle to stay on them for more than a few seconds.
- In a stage where Lakitus appear from white smiling blocks if you hit them, Ferr tried to jump on one as someone hit it, resulting in him jumping into a Lakitu and dying.
"I went to jump on a cloud and it turned into a nerdy turtle before my eyes." |
- While at the flagpole at the end of the level, everyone but Evek makes it. Evek is in a Propeller Suit drifting slowly towards the very top of the pole...and then the game registers it as "COURSE CLEAR!", cheating Evek out of a 1up and leaving him ripe for the pickings by the other three:
(Everyone but Evek laughs, then the end-of-stage sequence triggers, making them laugh harder.) |
- "That bird's a bird?!"
- "You got Pompeii'd, son!"
- "MOVE YOUR LAVA-DICK!"
- "Oh, it's an iguana! It has two!"
- Upon losing all their lives—which happens a lot—there isn't much left for the temporarily defeated but Angrish and honking the loser horn. Many Precision Horn Honks follow. Made funnier by how the Astronauts keep cracking up at them.
- The Astronauts downloaded fan-made levels for New Super Mario Bros. Naturally, these levels make the Nintendo Hard game even harder. The Astronauts die frequently, and only manage to complete one level. One of their failed levels, however, has them trapped beneath a seemingly impassable wall. Just as they figure out how to get past, a GIANT BULLET BILL that almost takes up the ENTIRE SCREEN chases them down, during which time they all scream like children. The most epic TPK ever witnessed.' Ferr laments he's gonna have nightmares.
- Also, at the start of the fan-made level right after, everyone but Ferr being killed by a single Goomba.
Maxwell, pipes! and Evek: (talking over one another) Oh--oh what? No! |
Tetris Smackdown
- Their Tetris video (Youtube link), in which pipes! first defeats Evek (to much enthusiastic trash talking), then gets taken to the woodshed by Maxwell (... still to much enthusiastic trash talking). Later on, he gets into a back-and-forth of Tetrises with Ferr (with, of course, much enthusiastic trash talking). "U Tetrisin' awful!"
- To say nothing of the hilarious one-liners they come up with: (more lines than Six Flags, more lines than a Kevin Smith movie, more blocks than LEGO-Land, more columns than Ancient Greece, more claws than Inspector Gadget)...
pipes!: More! You cannot stop the oncoming storm! So many lines! It's like Studio 54, there's so many lines going on! |
- When pipes! gets annihilated by Maxwell the following round; just before that, he gets four consecutive L-blocks, which totally derails his plan of attack:
pipes!: (struggling with an S-block) Unnnnnnnh! Fuck! Unnnnnh! (a J-block appears) Unnnnnh! Fuck, again! The dreaded double-fuck! |
- pipes!'s demise in the round after that is a little more methodical and grinding:
pipes!: (as Maxwell moves up to Level 1) Oh, you're changing colors? You're changing colors?! (clears a triple[4] with a J-block) Bam! (as he clears a Tetris[5]) BAM! |
- Maxwell: "This is the part where I reveal where I actually know how to play Tetris."
- They generally found the sound effects of clearing lines and garbage lines appearing inherently funny throughout.
- After pipes! hands his controller to Evek after being thoroughly whooped by Maxwell, he and Ferr constantly pester Maxwell in some attempt at revenge, which actually works as evidenced by sudden constant misplacing of blocks and Maxwell suddenly realizing, a few minutes later...
Maxwell: ...what did you do to my Tetris?! |
- At around the 17-minute mark, pipes! (on the right side) somehow gets his stack into this formation, much to the chagrin and amusement of everyone else.
pipes!: (puts a J-block in a very precarious position) BWAH! |
- In the next round, pipes! hopes things go better for him:
pipes!: (drops an O-block straight down) Block-and-center! This time will be different! |
- And again:
pipes!: Stop building a tetris, you dickwad. I know your games, you tricksy hobbit. |
- There was also the NES Mess video that preceded it, with Maxwell playing single-player Tetris and everyone yelling at him when he made bad placements. The other game in the video have a lot of funny parts in them, too.
- pipes! ripping on Maxwell for choosing the Type-C music instead of the usual Type-A, suggesting that a) Maxwell "likes having cocks placed in [his] mouth" and b) thanks to the rules of Tetris, such a state would cause his head to clear like a Tetris and disappear.
- The first time Maxwell screws up:
Ferr: Oh, no! |
- At one point, pipes! gets so pissed at Maxwell's Tetris playing that he says he'll have a kid just so that his kid can beat up and torment Maxwell's kid.
- Screw-up incident #37:
pipes!: I'm gonna find members of your family and hit them with bricks, because of what you're doing right now-- |
GTA Vice City
- A compilation of many funny moments from the LP, though not all are included. (25 minutes in length)
- Flying. Tank.
- At the end of the Cop Land mission, Maxwell stops by one of the properties he bought to grab a nice getaway car he stashed in the garage to escape from the law chasing him with a whopping 5 Wanted Stars rating. He risks his and Vance's life getting out of their police car and running to the garage... only to discover that he left a golf cart inside of it. He took it anyway and managed to shake the law by going into a Spray 'n Paint with it.
Maxwell: How...did that actually work? |
- At about the 8:00 mark of that same video, a random pedestrian corpse goes flying past Tommy and Lance as they drive to avoid police. There's a delayed reaction from the Astronauts, as they didn't recognize just what it was.
- The entirety of G-spotlight as seen here
- Come on, token black friend!
- "With my by-the-book attitude and your blatant disregard for authority, we'll take down the evil crime boss." "Wait, I am the evil crime boss!"
- The first death of the LP:
Maxwell: OHH! I got killed by Al Sharpton. |
Ferr: Oh, don't mind me, I just parked my helicopter here; I'll move it as soon as I can. |
- At one point Maxwell talks of how the Civilians can't use Molotov Cocktails and just light themselves on fire;
Pipes!: Maybe they were just protesting the Vietnam war. |
- pipes! and Ferr bickering like an old couple while Maxwell gets lost trying to get to the Pay 'N Spray.
Ferr: I know where I'm going. |
- Which leads into...
MaxwellAdams: On my family vacations, they didn't get right to the point like that. |
- When Clownbirth shows up on Skype.
Half Life 2, a.k.a. The Kickboat Saga
The Astronauts are playing a special SMOD of Half-Life 2, wherein, among other things, Gordon is given a new melee move, the "Gordon Kick"—a simple front kick that is ridiculously powerful and inflicts all sorts of physics hi-jinx.
- Dicking around with the airboat:
Maxwell: (runs the boat aground) Okay, I'm parked. (disembarks) |
- The "iron sights" view of a fully automatic weapon; i.e. they make fun of the gun flipping back and hitting Gordon in the face.
- The first death:
Resistance agent: (as Gordon speeds by and runs over an enemy) HEY DOWN THERE! SUPPLIES! |
- Maxwell maps the Gordon Kick to the "X" key, meaning he has to press it with his middle finger, and it feels good doing it.
- They discovered how the kick can interact with the airboat completely by accident:
Evek: (while Maxwell kicks while driving the boat) Piece of crap! |
- Despite being in the wrong part of the map, the enemies are reacting as they normally would...including one baddie with a rocket launcher raining rockets on Gordon.
Maxwell: (nearly dodging a rocket) Whoa--hey! Watch it! That was rude. |
- A Category-5 Hurricane of Puns ensues:
pipes!: KICKBOAT! Finish them off! |
- The first time we see the Gordon Kick in action...Maxwell uses it on a downed enemy. Its head explodes.
- impulse101 is an even bigger cheat than the kick. It unlocks all sorts of insane weaponry, including the scissors from Postal, a watermelon cannon, a PSP that shoots exploding game discs, and exploding bananas.[7]
pipes!: (as Maxwell throws them) You're just throwing bananas... |
- (after trying out a "singularity generator"[8])
Ferr: I demand you use that on the next enemies. |
- Gordon versus a single Mook standing just inside a large shipping crate. And Maxwell spams the exploding bananas:
pipes!: Oh, Jesus Christ! |
- Getting face-to-face with an enemy and spamming the kick button. His head explodes, too, leaving thick, red blood splatters all over the walls.
- Hell, even one of the annotations for the video reads "ATATATATATATATATA-".
- Maxwell's complete ineptitude with the sniper rifle.
"Six shots, one kill!" |
- "The second Kickboat has hit the strider!"
- "It's like the opening to Doctor Who--just tunnels and tunnels and tunnels!"
- Taking the Kickboat to the skies to fight the chopper.
Ferr: Fight for control of the skies! |
- Maxwell takes the Kickboat far beyond the borders of the map, killing him instantly and finding a broken part of the game world simply labeled Reflectivity......50%.
Evek: Where are you-- |
- The transition of the Kickboat into a Memetic Badass, both in annotations and in video commentary.
- A strange tangent wherein the discuss the life of a nameless Mook tasked with guarding an out-of-the-way entrance and was jokingly told to watch out for Gordon Freeman, overall implying the job is nothing but pointless busywork. The last thing that guard ever sees is Gordon Freeman and his Kickboat driving right through him as though he wasn't even there.
JFK Reloaded
- The simple fact that the Astronauts turned a game about the assassination of JFK into a game of HORSE that goes horribly wrong when they can't do one shot through the butt of a Secret Service agent.
- Just before that, their first shot at the game as presented by
JFK himself, err-ah, Feh-ah, doing his trademahk impersonation.
- Just before that, their first shot at the game as presented by
Ferr: Welcome to JFK Reloaded, the game based on my life. Wherein you chase broads around the White House, and try not to get caught by Jackie... and try not to let them see LBJ's GIGANTIC wang. |
- ...And then cheers that he's single again after the First Lady's death.
- During their first attempt at shooting aforementioned Secret Service agent in the aforementioned booty, the agent gets up and begins running to the limo... Only for the limo to speed off without him, made exceedingly more hilarious by his little jog and the fact that he just keels over spread eagle a few seconds into it. Would've been a good shot had the round not ended immediately after.
Ferr: That's what you get for being slow, Chuckles. |
- For an assassinated President, Kennedy sure seems trigger happy, particularly when he manages to get the entire cavalcade to stop after he shoots the driver, and proceeds to murder practically everyone on site.
- The same episode makes Evek look like a Cold Sniper. The others call him out for this.
Ferr: [in disbelief] How many shots did you take? |
Seaman
- From Seaman; "Apetit! REO Speedwagon! APETIT! REO SPEEDWAGON!"
Pipes!: Two thousand years of technology and culture so that you can yell "Apetit" into a little green microphone. |
- As mentioned in the main article, the squealing the guys do when one of the seamen say their first word in Part 4:
Maxwell: Hello! (Beat) He didn't hear that. Yo! (taps on glass) Pay attention. Hello! |
- Their reaction to the fact that the narrator is none other than Leonard Nimoy.
- During the first playthrough where the astronauts accidentally extinguish the... plural of Seman's food supply. They spend the next week ("week" meaning setting the Dreamcast's internal clock ahead a day every 15 minutes) awaiting the day when the two half fish either die or resort to cannibalism.
- Then there was the final day:
Leonard Nimoy (in game narrator): Welcome back. You're doing a good job. |
- One of the conversations goes thusly:
Gillman: Give me some food. |
- Which becomes a Call Back later...
Gillman: I'll never eat again! |
- Even the very beginning:
Leonard Nimoy: This memory card does not contain saved Seaman data. |
- The Seamen become a comedy gold mine when they grow into adulthood, from the conversations they hold with the Astronauts to their general snarkiness. As Maxwell says, it's the interesting part of the game.
Seaman: ...so let me inquire, are you a male or a female? ...you are a male of the species, eh? ...well, I was hoping to meet a lady, but I guess I'm not in a position to be too choosy, am I? |
- This conversation in the second playthrough is Hilarious in Hindsight:
Seaman: I've been thinking about this, and and if my calculations are correct, you must be a... oh, no... you're a Scorpio, aren't you? I can just see it now... you'll lose your temper and cut off my food supply and that'll be the end of Seaman! |
- The very first thing that happens gameplay-wise: putting the egg in the water.
Maxwell: There it goes. It's in. |
- Ferr reading from the instruction pamphlet in the background and Maxwell's reaction.
Ferr: 'How to say goodbye to seaman' |
- Airborne snacks, and the logical conclusion to them.
Ferr: It's in my crotch, it's my creamsicle. |
- Everybody walking into innuendos because of the premise.
Maxwell: I think it's trying to expel the [beat] ...Seamen. |
- And, on that note, the non-seaman related innuendos.
Maxwell: Why is it getting so hot in here? |
- Some of the reactions to the Seamen's dialogue.
Baby Seaman: Prettier than you! |
- And, while we're at it...
Ferr: Do you guys realize that we're having a conversation with video game fish and have been for the last two hours? |
- One of the tangents that really doesn't make sense out of context.
Maxwell: It's like a big ol' bulldog eating a bowl full of mayonnaise. |
Evek: What the hell? |
- Everybody freaking out after the spider hatches.
Maxwell: I'm gonna go over to the insect cage and it's gonna be full of insect bones and nothing else. |
- The reveal that the caterpillars have faces and the hysterical laughter/sobbing that follows.
- The fact that most of episode 14 is whale noises, courtesy of Ferr and Evek, while Maxwell visits the psychiatrist of the sea.
Serious Sam
- In Level 08 of Serious Sam, the other players are "dancing" (by rapidly moving the mouse cursor) while Maxwell tries to throw grenades at them. Then...
Ferr: What is love, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... |
- Earlier, at the very end of Level 03:
Ferr: (Blocking the end doorway) Before you can pass through this door, you must answer me these questions- |
- He later attempts this again, Maxwell obliterates him by bowling him over with a cannonball.
- Maxwell had been checking the stats. Almost wordlessly, Evek and Ferr coordinate their own moment for when he closes the stat screen. "Give us the money, man!" "Give us the money!"
- Hell, the very first minute of the first part.
Ferr: "I am Ferr." *He stabs Evek for an instant kill.* "And that is Evek. Right there."
Ferr: BULLETS CANNOT STOP PIRATE PETE! |
Octodad
Their playthrough of Octodad.
- The opening cutscene, with MS Paint-level art quality:
Wife: It's past NOON! You have to hurry, dear! |
- When Octodad is trying to clean up:
Maxwell: Careful, careful... |
- Octodad stepping over the stove after clearing the counter:
Evek: (makes hissing noise) AAAAAAAH! |
- Constant references to the Paper-Thin Disguise:
Ferr: I'll just be... taking this key with my hand... |
- At first you would think that the little cephalopod noises Octodad makes in place of speaking were done by the astronauts; which makes it even funnier when you realize that they're coming from the actual game.
- pipes!' insistence on going "WOOPWOOPWOOP" every time Maxwell ends up walking sideways.
- For that matter, whenever Maxwell loses his grip on the controls, resulting in Octodad doing things like spinning around, whipping one "leg" around while his other if firmly anchored to the ground, makes everyone laugh wildly.
Mass Effect
- The LP for Mass Effect has this bonus video with the plan being to drop a tank on the council.
- The very first video. Turns out an intersex Shepard + spawning the tank in a cutscene area = difficulty breathing.
- Social Skills. Fun with quicksaves and Jerkass NPCs. Including that one. And that one.
- Nobody's particularly bothered by Shepard going for a drive. Or a dive.
- Maxwell shooting Liara in the gut with assault rifle fire bullets. To be fair, she was headed right for him.
- Skype pops up in the middle of a boss fight. Maxwell loses. Pipes emulates the Skype developer.
Twilight Princess
- In Zelda: Twilight Princess, after Zelda fades from existence to heal Midna.
- At one point the guys go off on a bizarre tangent that results in them coming up with the movie Wonka's List
- The group defeat Ganondorf in Twilight Princess by dangling a fishing rod in front of him.
- Lonk goes skydiving in Hyrule Field, courtesy of the Spinner and a bomb. (starts at 8:58)
- In the same video, "Have you accepted the lord Jesus who is a butterfly as your lord and savior?" and the next few minutes after that.
- Maxwell's deliberate Hypocritical Humor
Maxwell: *Turns into human form in the twilight realm, busts open the door to the first dungeon*... Nah, I'm not going to break this game anymore than I already have. *He then proceed to mount the spinner from the game's fifth dungeon and uses it to fly away.* |
Resident Evil 4
- Ferr and pipes! demonstrating their (and by association, Leon's) sensitivity to international culture.
Leon:(coming upon a parasite-infected resident) Excuse me... |
- At one point Maxwell is at the top of a ladder and the zombies climb it only to get shot off by Maxwell. Repeatedly.
- During a fight you can hear the guys panicking and screaming.
- During one fight Maxwell is about to get killed brutally when the wii crashes.
- Maxwell + Ice cream sandwitch - hands + pipes! = funny as heck.
- The Astronauts discussing the various inventive ways to play the Wii.
pipes!: And then for the next challenge, it's play with the Wiimote behind your head as I choke you. |
Saint's Row 2
- Saints Row 2-episode 12: Floating Link.
- "YOU GO SHOPPING! I'LL HOLD OFF THE COPS!
- Maxwell and Ferr playing chicken in Saints Row 2. With airplanes.
- In Saint's Row 2; Maxwell and Blues Wear Shoes spend most of a video holding up a store and throwing hostages down stairs. Cue Maxwell opening the front door of the store, only to see someone has paved over the parking lot with police cars and police men with guns trained on the door, and just in time to see another car slam into the pile in an attempt to get at him.
Crysis
- The pun onslaught pipes! cuts loose with in part 3 of Crysis, just after beating an enemy to death with a "meaningless stick":
pipes!: Way to...stick it to 'em! |
- Before that, when Maxwell takes an enemy by the throat:
Evek: Throw him out to sea! |
Cargo! The Quest for Gravity
- Behold, the mighty Dongs CarEO Stationwagon
- After losing a submarine, Maxwell attempts to build a new one. Using a body meant for a boat. And after that, decides to instead make a very awkward plane.
pipes!: What is a submarine, but a really heavy boat? |
- The building of their first helicopter, From Ferr's minimalist instructions, to the test flight where Maxwell briefly loses control of the vehicle causing it to roll forward rapidly.
Other
- The glorious clusterfuck that is... Lemmings. Competitive multiplayer.
- Including Ferr snapping through repeated defeats to Maxwell
Ferr: There's a HOLE in the BUCKET, DEAR Liza, dear LIZA... |
- From Karaoke Revolution: Pipes! singing... with a mouth full of cookies.
- And not long after that, Evek opting to hum the lyrics to "It's the End of the World as We Know It".
Pipes!: This is R.E.M. as sung by a bumblebee. |
- Pipes!' horrific rendition of "When a Man Loves a Woman" if only for the sheer number of times he ends up getting "Okay!" "Good!" or even "Great!" ratings.
- Although the whole LP of Prototype is funny, things really get into CMOF territory starting with this video, where guest commentators Ainsley Mctree and Russ join. It's non-stop jokes from then until the end of the LP (10 videos later), with topics as diverse as Ven Diagrams of Gayness, Arm Wives, Drag-Queen-Ball Z, a little Taint-Math humor, Rape-On (Apply Directly to the Rape), and Cactus Holes.
- From the same LP:
Alex Mercer (disguised as a soldier) Hey, guys! How about that Military-Industrial Complex, eh? (Jumps 10 feet in the air and glides back down several times) You! Drop and give me 20 of whatever the hell I just did! |
- Essentially every single moment spent with Dongs "REO" Speedwagon in the Oblivion LP. It really just ends up being up to the viewer's opinion where the true funniest moment is. This Troper, though, has to give it to Weebam-Na's unexpected reaction to being frenzied.
- and of course, who could forget their real life rendition of your standard Fetch Quest from episode 15?
Maxwell: Ferr! |
- And on a tangentially related note, The return of Dongs "REO" Speedwagon in Saints Row 2.
- Pipes! playing the nervous game with Maxwell and his failure to play a similar joke on Ferr with state names. The punchline of which was sadly lost.
- Maxwell shows how magic should work: Instant Flight
- Also, the epic of Sephiroth Goku the stampede! Here's the intro:
pipes!: Let me tell you about my D&D character. ... He's from my favourite animes! ... He has a red trenchcoat and he has a gun, but he only shoots the gun to hurt things, 'cause he doesn't believe in killing. |
- When they do a playthrough of Kirby Super Star, at one point, Kirby (played by pipes!) and Evek get a hold of the Parasol power. What follows is a couple minutes of pipes! and Evek dandifying it up and speaking in effeminate, Upper Class Twit-style voices.
Evek: How does the internet react to our Kirby playing? |
- QWOP.
- 50+ minutes of incredibly raucous laughter and giggling, over attempting to get a ragdoll-like man to very slowly nudge himself along, even managing to cross a hurdle at 50m completely on his knees. Accentuated by the brilliant song choices. You haven't lived, son; not until you've witnessed the defeat of QWOP to the tune of "Baby Elephant Walk".
- "We're off to a good start!" (runner promptly faceplants)
- pipes! lamenting the lack of a slide whistle.
- While playing "Born To Run", QWOP looks like he's air guitar-ing. And then he's skipping to "Walking On Sunshine".
- At the end of the LP, they find a video of a Japanese user who cleared the course in about two and a half minutes, much to the Astronauts' chagrin. That guy botches the long jump at the very end of the run, his foot registering right at the start of the sand pit...meaning the Astronauts STILL had a better overall score than he did.
- Their LP of Oregon Trail, in which Ferr hulks out during a hunting trip and manages to kill four animals. Nothing else comes onto the screen so he assumes he's wiped out the local population.
- The entire LP of Oregon Trail is amazing. Particularly the fact that at the very first river, less than 4 feet deep, Ferr decides to ford the river, resulting in it tipping over and Maxwell's character instantly drowning. From then on, everybody in the wagon basically cycles through diseases and broken limbs.
- Ferr: I just took a Gatorade money-shot.
- "Evek has dysentery, better make a diaper out of his beard."
- Ferr's seeming inability to keep drinks in their containers, and out of his eyes.
- Rampart causes quite a bit of hilarious rage over failure caused by both incompetence and bad luck.
pipes!: Why, yes, I do love to chug-a-lug cocks; 'cause my name's Maxwell. I carry around a thermos of semen everywhere I go, I like to keep it cold and frosty. |
- About halfway through the first intermission of the Wii Sports Resort LP (about halfway through) while playing Restaurant Panic they find the ice level, whereupon they start a slew of ice/cold puns. Over half of these puns are in the style of Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr. Freeze from Batman and Robin.
- Their LP of the first level of Killer7 deserves mention, as it mainly consists of them wandering around the game confused and not understanding anything. Eventually they have to call in a Killer7 expert to guide them through. Their reactions to most of the odd things in the game are extremely funny.
pipes!: Incoming ghost-bomb off the port bow...and you got suicide hump-bombed, son! |
- North Vs South. Any fort mission.
- Their first Bomberman video. Any time someone brings up the disease item (which they use STD related innuendo to refer to) and which LPer is controlling which colored Bomberman.
- Adding to the humor of the video was the comments from a livestream which were posted into the video. In these discussions various goons, including Diabetes and CherryDoom, place bets on the winner, spread communist propaganda, and argue over being the father/mother of other goons.
- Then there was the CPU controlled character who appeared to be glitched as it continued to run back and forth around the area it started in. After a few minutes of going at each other, Ferr finally decides to go after the computer only for the computer to move out of the way at the last second while Ferr managed to trap himself between his own bomb and the explosion from one of Evek's bombs. The next round Ferr attempted to kick bombs at the computer's position from afar only to immediately get caught in the chain blast from his own bomb. At this point everyone was convinced that the computer's apparent glitch was an elaborate strategy to make the human players drop their guards then trick them into killing themselves.
Ferr: He did not "get me good." I got myself. |
- In this Link to the Past video, the others mock Ferr for having seen Knowing by himself, especially Diabetus.
Diabetus (in Nic Cage voice): Ferr, did you go see my movie by yourself? That's just fuckin' sad. |
- Ferr's spasmodic dancing in between levels in Shaq Fu.
"Do do DO do do dodo do do do do DO do do dodo do do DELELELELELE" |
- Ferr has sung this in a number of videos, such as the beginning of the Atari video during Adventure, and pipes! sings it at the start of Toejam & Earl. Apparently it's a reference to something, anyone have any idea what?
- Someone made a video putting together many of the times Ferr's gotten hurt- accidentally or because of the other Astronauts.
Ferr: You really... bruised my ego. (punching noises) Oh, no, it hurts! |
- Ferr in the 3rd Space Quest IV video.
"LETTUCE! PICKLES! MAYO! MUSTARD! KETCHUP! TOP OF THE BUN!!" |
- The elevator incident in Space Quest II as seen here.
Game Text: *to much laughter* I don't understand "God". |
- BALL AND CUP! BALL AND CUP! BALL AND CUP!
- The Fish woman
- The Astronauts turn Atari racing classic Enduro into some kind of tribal ritual.
I got a trident! |
- From Power Stone 1 Ferr's loosing streak.
- From their test video of Trespasser, after finally running into dinosaurs Maxwell does what any sensible person would do in this situation: unload their entire clip on the brontosaurs' neck, throws the pistol at it then picks the gun back up so he could try to kill the brontosaurs by pistol whipping it's leg.
- Then after encountering their first killable dinosaur, the Astronauts note how cute the raptor looks. After killing it Maxwell proceeds to pet it then spank it.
- Kerbal proves why the Freelance Astronauts will never be real astronauts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO Mzpul Ff 4 M
- Maxwell, Evek, and Irregular Hunter accidentaly hijack a Star Trek RP server. Many crazy hijinks ensue.
- Diabetus steps into the ring for Worms Reloaded, and things happen.
Ridley: Told ya I could fly! |
- Maxwell, Evek, Irregular Hunter, and Drakkel play an all-Charger mutation in Left 4 Dead 2. It does not go well.
- How could you all have forgotten the Overlord LP? In which they come up with the next big animated family film: Batshit Crazy.
- During a guest stream of Analgun's Left 4 Dead 2 gameplay, during a mutation mode where crouching lets you move at insane speed, at one point Maxwell gets a hold of a chainsaw. He then proceeds to run down irregularhunter.
- ↑ \\ by either: Dressing as Redcoats and trying to arrest them, dressing like they're from the future and talking about future Boston, or dressing like Revolutionary War people and acting like they work there, getting riled up and throwing tea in the harbor, or pretending they're loyalists and attacking.
- ↑ Not asking questions and keeping Evek from asking questions, respectively
- ↑ He laments that he should've shouted "RAMMING SPEED!"
- ↑ gives the opponent two garbage lines
- ↑ gives the opponent four garbage lines
- ↑ it was a livestream
- ↑ pressing the alt-fire makes the bananas break apart and explode
- ↑ generates tiny black holes, more or less