Raiden: Bugs? But there was nothing about bugs in the VR sim! Colonel: Calm down, Raiden, you'll be fine. Just take a deep breath by pressing the Circle button until your lungs are full. Then, when your blood is saturated with oxygen, press the Square button to exhale. Raiden: Er, I mastered breathing a while back. Colonel: Now to begin your mission. Walk forward by tilting the Control Stick in the direction you wish to move. Raiden: Look, you don't have to explain every single-- Colonel: To cause your heart to pump blood to your body, tap the R3 Button in a steady rhythm.
Gabe: Oh, for fuck's sake. I know how to jump, Kingdom Hearts! I'm good at jumping! I jump all the time. Gimme my fucking keyblade! Nintendo DS: The microphone has detected bursts of profanity. Would you like to skip this incredibly long tutorial? Gabe: Yes! A thousand times yes! Nintendo DS: Before you can skip the Tutorial, you will need to complete the Tutorial Skipping Tutorial.
