Atop the Fourth Wall/Quotes: Difference between revisions
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{{quote|''[[Hello|Welcome to]] ''[[ |
{{quote|''[[Hello|Welcome to]] ''[[Atop the Fourth Wall]]''[[Kill It with Fire|, where bad comics burn.]]<br /> |
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[[The Host|Linkara's]] gonna teach you all a lesson you won't learn.<br /> |
[[The Host|Linkara's]] gonna teach you all a lesson you won't learn.<br /> |
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[[Who Is This Guy Again?|Brodsky—]] You're not the smartest<br /> |
[[Who Is This Guy Again?|Brodsky—]] You're not the smartest<br /> |
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[[Acceptable Targets|Anyone who's had a bad comic published—]] [[You Can Run but You Can't Hide|It could be your turn]]<br /> |
[[Acceptable Targets|Anyone who's had a bad comic published—]] [[You Can Run but You Can't Hide|It could be your turn]]<br /> |
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[[Say My Name|LINKARA!]] [[Catch Phrase|HE IS A MAN! *PUNCH*!]] [[Nice Hat|Wears a]] [[Fedora of Asskicking|purdy hat]]<br /> |
[[Say My Name|LINKARA!]] [[Catch Phrase|HE IS A MAN! *PUNCH*!]] [[Nice Hat|Wears a]] [[Fedora of Asskicking|purdy hat]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[Cool Gun|He has a magic gun...]] [[Where Does He Get All Those Wonderful Toys?|Where'd he purchase that?]]<ref>Seriously, where did he? [[Artifact of Doom|We need to know where to stay away from.]]</ref><br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot|Coins, robots, Amazons, and trucks.]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[Punctuated for Emphasis|This! Comic! SUCKS!]]<br /> |
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[[This Is Gonna Suck|Linkara sits down nonetheless,]] [[Determinator|and forces himself through it.]]<br /> |
[[This Is Gonna Suck|Linkara sits down nonetheless,]] [[Determinator|and forces himself through it.]]<br /> |
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[[So Bad It's Horrible |
[[So Bad It's Horrible/Comics|A]] poorly-written, [[Off-Model|ugly mess,]] [[I Did What I Had to Do|but someone's gotta do it.]]<br /> |
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And it's right about time he did;<br /> |
And it's right about time he did;<br /> |
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[[Adaptation Decay|They made]] ''[[Watchmen ( |
[[Adaptation Decay|They made]] ''[[Watchmen (film)|Watchmen]]'' [[They Changed It, Now It Sucks|without the]] [[Starfish Alien|slimy squid!]]<br /> |
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[[Author Filibuster|And he'll have you know]] [[Rock Bottom|that that's pretty low,]]<br /> |
[[Author Filibuster|And he'll have you know]] [[Rock Bottom|that that's pretty low,]]<br /> |
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[[Everyone Has Standards|but not quite like]] [[Dark Age|the standards of]] [[The Nineties|the 90s]] [[Tagalong Kid|Kid.]]<br /> |
[[Everyone Has Standards|but not quite like]] [[Dark Age|the standards of]] [[The Nineties|the 90s]] [[Tagalong Kid|Kid.]]<br /> |
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[[Incendiary Exponent|Setting ablaze]] [[Crisis Crossover|crossovers,]] [[Very Special Episode|one-shots,]] [[And the Rest|and]] [[Red Skies Crossover|tie-ins,]]<br /> |
[[Incendiary Exponent|Setting ablaze]] [[Crisis Crossover|crossovers,]] [[Very Special Episode|one-shots,]] [[And the Rest|and]] [[Red Skies Crossover|tie-ins,]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|Linkara]] [[This Is Reality|stands in reality-defiance]]<br /> |
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[[Title Drop|Atop the fourth wall]][[Evil Overlooker|, looking down on us all.]]<br /> |
[[Title Drop|Atop the fourth wall]][[Evil Overlooker|, looking down on us all.]]<br /> |
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[[You Cloned Hitler|"Of course! Don't you know anything about science?"]]<br /> |
[[You Cloned Hitler|"Of course! Don't you know anything about science?"]]<br /> |
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[[What Could Have Been|There would be better books on his show,]]<br /> |
[[What Could Have Been|There would be better books on his show,]]<br /> |
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[[Take That|but]] [[Joe Quesada|Quesada]] [[Cosmic Retcon|sold them to]] [[One More Day|Mephisto,]]<br /> |
[[Take That|but]] [[Joe Quesada|Quesada]] [[Cosmic Retcon|sold them to]] [[One More Day|Mephisto,]]<br /> |
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[[Now |
[[Now It's My Turn|and now there's nothing left to do]]<br /> |
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[[Bile Fascination|but share the scrapings at the bottom of the barrel with you.]]<br /> |
[[Bile Fascination|but share the scrapings at the bottom of the barrel with you.]]<br /> |
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[[Say My Name|LINKARA!]] [[Catch Phrase|HE IS A MAN! *PUNCH*!]] [[Arm Cannon|What's that on his arm?]]<br /> |
[[Say My Name|LINKARA!]] [[Catch Phrase|HE IS A MAN! *PUNCH*!]] [[Arm Cannon|What's that on his arm?]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[Continuity Snarl|Can't seem to fix the Continuity Alarm.]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[The New Rock and Roll|Rock and roll,]] [[The Spoony Experiment|Insano,]] [[Drop in Character|some feller in a tux.]]<br /> |
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[[Atop the Fourth Wall |
[[Atop the Fourth Wall|LINKARA!]] [[Punctuated for Emphasis|This! Comic! SUCKS!]]<br /> |
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[[All Blue Entry|LINKARA!]]''<ref>[[Brick Joke|The answer? It's been "Powered By a Forsaken Child]]!"</ref> '''Vincent E.L'''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poI5dBNien0 Gunslinger Theme, full version]</ref>}} |
[[All Blue Entry|LINKARA!]]''<ref>[[Brick Joke|The answer? It's been "Powered By a Forsaken Child]]!"</ref> '''Vincent E.L'''<ref>[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poI5dBNien0 Gunslinger Theme, full version]</ref>}} |
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{{quote|"''What plan?! She ''planned'' for Air Force One to be brought down? She ''planned'' to get knocked unconscious by [[Batman]]? She ''planned'' for the Bana to purportedly to be the real enemy only they're not, thus making their entire sub-plot utterly, totally, completely worthless??!''"|'''Linkara''''s commentary on Circe's [[Gambit Roulette|"master plan"]] in ''[[Wonder Woman |
{{quote|"''What plan?! She ''planned'' for Air Force One to be brought down? She ''planned'' to get knocked unconscious by [[Batman]]? She ''planned'' for the Bana to purportedly to be the real enemy only they're not, thus making their entire sub-plot utterly, totally, completely worthless??!''"|'''Linkara''''s commentary on Circe's [[Gambit Roulette|"master plan"]] in ''[[Wonder Woman|Amazons Attack]]''.}} |
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'''Linkara:''' So let's dig into ''Daredevil'' #305. (...) Harvey Finevoice, I want that information and I want it now!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' So let's dig into ''Daredevil'' #305. (...) Harvey Finevoice, I want that information and I want it now!<br /> |
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'''Finevoice:''' Yap, yap, yap, that's all your type ever do. Here. Take it (handing a note), with my blessing.<br /> |
'''Finevoice:''' Yap, yap, yap, that's all your type ever do. Here. Take it (handing a note), with my blessing.<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' (reading) [[The Angry Joe Show |
'''Linkara:''' (reading) [[The Angry Joe Show|Angry Joe]] is walking right into a trap!<br /> |
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'''Angry Joe:''' It's Linkara. He's in big trouble. [[Large Ham|Assemble the army!]] He's gonna need all the help he can get.<br /> |
'''Angry Joe:''' It's Linkara. He's in big trouble. [[Large Ham|Assemble the army!]] He's gonna need all the help he can get.<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' Oh my god! [[Shout-Out|TV Tropes]] used one of my quotes!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' Oh my god! [[Shout-Out|TV Tropes]] used one of my quotes!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' Get this, [[Marz Gurl]], this time I'M breaking up with YOU!!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' Get this, [[Marz Gurl]], this time I'M breaking up with YOU!!<br /> |
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'''MarzGurl:''' Huh. Whatever, I got [[Arcade Gamer Fubuki|passion panties]], [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|bitch!]]<br /> |
'''MarzGurl:''' Huh. Whatever, I got [[Arcade Gamer Fubuki|passion panties]], [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|bitch!]]<br /> |
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'''Linkara''': Tell me [[Watchmen ( |
'''Linkara''': Tell me [[Watchmen (film)|Rorschach]], is Benzaie truly made of French toast?<br /> |
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'''Rorschach:''' No.<br /> |
'''Rorschach:''' No.<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' There's a conspiracy behind all this. Could [[The Spoony Experiment |
'''Linkara:''' There's a conspiracy behind all this. Could [[The Spoony Experiment|Dr. Insano]] be doing all this?<br /> |
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'''Insano:''' Nurse!? If you've taken the last Red Bull I will have you DESTROYED!<br /> |
'''Insano:''' Nurse!? If you've taken the last Red Bull I will have you DESTROYED!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' Look, I know what Joe is up against. I need his help!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' Look, I know what Joe is up against. I need his help!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' It's '''''Neutro'''''!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' It's '''''Neutro'''''!<br /> |
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'''Angry Joe:''' Attack!<br /> |
'''Angry Joe:''' Attack!<br /> |
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'''[[ |
'''[[The Nostalgia Chick]]:''' Alright, so you've found my secret identity. (Ties her hair) That's right. [[Paper-Thin Disguise|I'm the Nostalgia Chick]]!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' [[Angrish|But...but how did you... what the... but... with the bowtie and the... what... how are you...?]] WHAT!? (...) [[Richard II |
'''Linkara:''' [[Angrish|But...but how did you... what the... but... with the bowtie and the... what... how are you...?]] WHAT!? (...) [[Richard II|Cry woe, destruction and decay, the worst is death. And death will have his day.]] (...) I should have known, it was ''you'' who was the secret manipulator behind it all: beeeaaaar!<br /> |
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'''Narrator:''' And now, the conclusion.|"''Daredevil'' #306" review}} |
'''Narrator:''' And now, the conclusion.|"''Daredevil'' #306" review}} |
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{{quote|'''Harvey Finevoice:''' ''(bored)'' Okay, [["Previously On..."]] ''Atop the Fourth Wall''...<br /> |
{{quote|'''Harvey Finevoice:''' ''(bored)'' Okay, [["Previously On..."]] ''Atop the Fourth Wall''...<br /> |
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'''[[The Nostalgia Critic |
'''[[The Nostalgia Critic|Nostalgia Critic]]:''' My god, it was you all along.<br /> |
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'''[[Bum Reviews |
'''[[Bum Reviews|Chester A Bum]]:''' Yes, I [[Verbal Tic|hijackeded]] all the nuclear weapons of the world. And now, I have them at my ''disposal''. <!-- hijackeded [sic] --><br /> |
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'''Nostalgia Critic:''' But why? Why did you do it?<br /> |
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' But why? Why did you do it?<br /> |
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'''Chester A. Bum:''' Oh... I'm just a bum. A bum who wants to take over the world. ([[Evil Laugh|laughs maniacally]])<br /> |
'''Chester A. Bum:''' Oh... I'm just a bum. A bum who wants to take over the world. ([[Evil Laugh|laughs maniacally]])<br /> |
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'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''(talking over Chester)'' ...Like a million of those walking down the street. Hey, another transvestite who kills people that likes tor rub feet in butter, hey hey, that one's name is Bob.<br /> |
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''(talking over Chester)'' ...Like a million of those walking down the street. Hey, another transvestite who kills people that likes tor rub feet in butter, hey hey, that one's name is Bob.<br /> |
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'''Chester A. Bum:''' Oh '''shut up and look at this'''!<br /> |
'''Chester A. Bum:''' Oh '''shut up and look at this'''!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' [[Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]] [[Star Trek ( |
'''Linkara:''' [[Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]] [[Star Trek (film)|is danger and disease wrapped in darkness and silence]].<br /> |
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'''Dr. Insano:''' [[Foreshadowing|He's coming for you, Linkara!]] He's ''coming for '''you'''''! ''(laughs maniacally, then falls over)''<br /> |
'''Dr. Insano:''' [[Foreshadowing|He's coming for you, Linkara!]] He's ''coming for '''you'''''! ''(laughs maniacally, then falls over)''<br /> |
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'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What's that?<br /> |
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What's that?<br /> |
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'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''Yes!'' Very mad.<br /> |
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''Yes!'' Very mad.<br /> |
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'''Harvey Finevoice:''' I've been sitting here for hours. Why the hell hasn't anyone given me my paycheck? I got dames to smooch!<br /> |
'''Harvey Finevoice:''' I've been sitting here for hours. Why the hell hasn't anyone given me my paycheck? I got dames to smooch!<br /> |
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'''[[Bad Movie Beatdown |
'''[[Bad Movie Beatdown|Film Brain]]:''' ''[[Equilibrium]]'' is '''brilliant''' and Wimmer is God!<br /> |
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'''Linkara:''' My god! Film Brian, they've gotten to you!<br /> |
'''Linkara:''' My god! Film Brian, they've gotten to you!<br /> |
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'''Film Brain:''' Hey, it's Film ''Brain''! ''([[Evil Laugh]])''<br /> |
'''Film Brain:''' Hey, it's Film ''Brain''! ''([[Evil Laugh]])''<br /> |
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{{quote|'''Linkara:''' You know, what is it about [[Ancient Egypt|Ancient Egyptian]] artifacts that they always seem to have magic powers? Think about it: [[Shazam|Black Adam]] got his powers from ''another'' mystical scarab, all the [[Mummy|mummies]] that pop up because of necklaces and jewels... Oh, and let's not forget about the artifact that makes you [[Yu-Gi-Oh|want to play card games for the rest of your life]]. And to get through all this crap, you have to pass insurmountable odds in [[Indiana Jones]]-esque fashion, and more than one person would ''die'' along the way. It seems to me that Ancient Egypt was a freaking death trap! Screw archaeology! Ever think there was a '''reason''' this crap was buried?!<br /> |
{{quote|'''Linkara:''' You know, what is it about [[Ancient Egypt|Ancient Egyptian]] artifacts that they always seem to have magic powers? Think about it: [[Shazam|Black Adam]] got his powers from ''another'' mystical scarab, all the [[Mummy|mummies]] that pop up because of necklaces and jewels... Oh, and let's not forget about the artifact that makes you [[Yu-Gi-Oh!|want to play card games for the rest of your life]]. And to get through all this crap, you have to pass insurmountable odds in [[Indiana Jones]]-esque fashion, and more than one person would ''die'' along the way. It seems to me that Ancient Egypt was a freaking death trap! Screw archaeology! Ever think there was a '''reason''' this crap was buried?!<br /> |
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'''Disclaimer:''' Warning! The views of Linkara may not reflect the views of the producers of ''Atop the Fourth Wall''... which is actually Linkara so make of that what you will.|''[[Blue Beetle]]'' Tribute}} |
'''Disclaimer:''' Warning! The views of Linkara may not reflect the views of the producers of ''Atop the Fourth Wall''... which is actually Linkara so make of that what you will.|''[[Blue Beetle]]'' Tribute}} |
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{{quote|''So begins them ([[Legion of Super-Heroes (Comic Book)|Triplicate Girl and Karate Kid]]) travelling around trying to find a cure for his [Karate Kid's] disease. Wait a second, I just realised something. These two are running around looking for a cure. Bob [the Monitor]'s group is running around looking for Ray Palmer. [[Superman |
{{quote|''So begins them ([[Legion of Super-Heroes (Comic Book)|Triplicate Girl and Karate Kid]]) travelling around trying to find a cure for his [Karate Kid's] disease. Wait a second, I just realised something. These two are running around looking for a cure. Bob [the Monitor]'s group is running around looking for Ray Palmer. [[Superman|Jimmy [Olsen]]] and Forager are running around looking for the [[New Gods]] killer. [[The Flash|Trickster and Piper]] are running around looking for a way out of their handcuffs. '''They should have just called this series ''Running Around Looking for Crap''!'''''|'''Linkara''', ''[[Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]'' review Part 1}} |
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{{quote|I'm not some pretty boy with marital problems. I don't have some confused psyche or unresolved parental issues. You're not dealing with a [[Silent Hill]] protagonist here! Time and again, someone got it into their head that they could defeat me. Time and again they beat me down, they knocked me out, and they tried to make me give up. You come at me with insecurity, self-doubt, and angst? You try to make me doubt who I am? I am the man who [[Silent Hill|defeated]] Pyramid Head. I am the man who conquered [[Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]. I am the man who fought off the [[Star Trek Elite Force|Vohrsoth]] and destroyed Mechakara! I am [[Self-Serving Memory|the liberator of]] [[Kickassia]]! I am a [[Star Trek |
{{quote|I'm not some pretty boy with marital problems. I don't have some confused psyche or unresolved parental issues. You're not dealing with a [[Silent Hill]] protagonist here! Time and again, someone got it into their head that they could defeat me. Time and again they beat me down, they knocked me out, and they tried to make me give up. You come at me with insecurity, self-doubt, and angst? You try to make me doubt who I am? I am the man who [[Silent Hill|defeated]] Pyramid Head. I am the man who conquered [[Countdown to Final Crisis|Countdown]]. I am the man who fought off the [[Star Trek Elite Force|Vohrsoth]] and destroyed Mechakara! I am [[Self-Serving Memory|the liberator of]] [[Kickassia]]! I am a [[Star Trek|Starfleet captain]]! I am a [[Power Rangers|Power Ranger]]! I'm [[Ask That Guy With The Glasses|That Guy With The Hat]]! [[Badass Boast|I am Linkara]]!|'''Linkara''', '''Silent Hill''' Dead/Alive Issue 5}} |
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{{quote|''I can't begin to imagine how anyone followed all this stuff at the time. It'd be like if I introduced plot elements in my show that somehow ended up on [[The Spoony Experiment |
{{quote|''I can't begin to imagine how anyone followed all this stuff at the time. It'd be like if I introduced plot elements in my show that somehow ended up on [[The Spoony Experiment|Spoony]]'s show and... [[Lampshade Hanging|uh... nevermind]].''|'''Linkara''', ''Spiderman: Greatest Responsibility''}} |
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{{quote|''There are two kinds of magic in the world: [[Magic |
{{quote|''There are two kinds of magic in the world: [[Magic a Is Magic A|Magic as a force that can grant the wondrous]]... and then there's narrative magic. The kind where we get the classic phrase:[[A Wizard Did It|"It's magic we don't have to explain it".]]|'''Linkara''' in his review of Superman: Distant Fires.}} |
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'''Masterthecreator:''' [''Yet another teacup''] "Ven Gethenian, title card artist for [[Brows Held High]]!"<br /> |
'''Masterthecreator:''' [''Yet another teacup''] "Ven Gethenian, title card artist for [[Brows Held High]]!"<br /> |
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'''Ven:''' "Oh god... why did I try to watch ''Trash Humpers'' alone?"<br /> |
'''Ven:''' "Oh god... why did I try to watch ''Trash Humpers'' alone?"<br /> |
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'''Masterthecreator:''' [''[[Running Gag|still yet another teacup]]''] "-and Krin, title-card artist for [[Todd in |
'''Masterthecreator:''' [''[[Running Gag|still yet another teacup]]''] "-and Krin, title-card artist for [[Todd in the Shadows]]..."<br /> |
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'''Krin:''' "You guys know Todd doesn't really have a face right?! The art is entirely accurate! That boy... [[Complete Monster|is a monster!]]<br /> |
'''Krin:''' "You guys know Todd doesn't really have a face right?! The art is entirely accurate! That boy... [[Complete Monster|is a monster!]]<br /> |
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'''Masterthecreator:''' [''voiceover''] "Philbunny, [[Iron Liz]]'s title-card artist!"<br /> |
'''Masterthecreator:''' [''voiceover''] "Philbunny, [[Iron Liz]]'s title-card artist!"<br /> |
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'''Philbunny:''' [''As a rabbit puppet of himself''] "Uh, actually, I think you want the guy who's right next to me, but [[Self-Deprecation|I'm a lot better-looking]], so I'm gonna go ahead and represent him."<br /> |
'''Philbunny:''' [''As a rabbit puppet of himself''] "Uh, actually, I think you want the guy who's right next to me, but [[Self-Deprecation|I'm a lot better-looking]], so I'm gonna go ahead and represent him."<br /> |
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'''Masterthecreator:''' [''Still hasn't run out of new teacups''] "Marobot, title-card artist for [[ |
'''Masterthecreator:''' [''Still hasn't run out of new teacups''] "Marobot, title-card artist for [[The Nostalgia Critic]]!<br /> |
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'''Marobot:''' [''on the phone''] "For the last time, no Linkara, I don't have time to make a new section of Comicron 1 for you... no, I frankly don't care if you don't have a different-looking hallway for your storyline..."<br /> |
'''Marobot:''' [''on the phone''] "For the last time, no Linkara, I don't have time to make a new section of Comicron 1 for you... no, I frankly don't care if you don't have a different-looking hallway for your storyline..."<br /> |
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'''Masterthecreator:''' "-and finally, Vincent E.L.!"<br /> |
'''Masterthecreator:''' "-and finally, Vincent E.L.!"<br /> |
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'''Kitsune2022:''' "[[Call Back|We meet again]], Art-Skank!"<br /> |
'''Kitsune2022:''' "[[Call Back|We meet again]], Art-Skank!"<br /> |
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'''Krin:''' "You're not gonna get away with this, Dickman! We will fight you... [[What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?|with art!]] [[Buffy-Speak|Art-art-art! Art!]]<br /> |
'''Krin:''' "You're not gonna get away with this, Dickman! We will fight you... [[What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?|with art!]] [[Buffy-Speak|Art-art-art! Art!]]<br /> |
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'''Andrew Dickman:''' You're already too late; I've signed to do [[The Spoony Experiment |
'''Andrew Dickman:''' You're already too late; I've signed to do [[The Spoony Experiment|Spoony's]] title cards! Nothing can stop me! [''[[Evil Laugh]], dissolves into wheezing and hacking coughs''] "Oh god..."<br /> |
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'''Philbunny:''' Wait, how'd did he get Spoony's-"<br /> |
'''Philbunny:''' Wait, how'd did he get Spoony's-"<br /> |
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[''Dr. Insano appears, carrying Son of Insano'']<br /> |
[''Dr. Insano appears, carrying Son of Insano'']<br /> |
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'''Insano:''' "Yes, it is I, Dr. Hol- Wait what? No!"<br /> |
'''Insano:''' "Yes, it is I, Dr. Hol- Wait what? No!"<br /> |
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'''Philbunny:''' "Oh, uh... sorry, uh- Doctor Horrible!"<br /> |
'''Philbunny:''' "Oh, uh... sorry, uh- Doctor Horrible!"<br /> |
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'''Insano:''' [[Angrish|I-ju-yo...]] I'm not either of those, [[You Fool]]<br /> |
'''Insano:''' [[Angrish|I-ju-yo...]] I'm not either of those, [[You Fool!]]<br /> |
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'''Philbunny:''' [''half-hearted''] [[ |
'''Philbunny:''' [''half-hearted''] [[Doctor Steel]] ?<br /> |
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'''Insano:''' Really? Do I sound like I can sing as good as him? <br /> |
'''Insano:''' Really? Do I sound like I can sing as good as him? <br /> |
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'''Ven:''' Doctor Sleepless!<br /> |
'''Ven:''' Doctor Sleepless!<br /> |
Revision as of 20:03, 8 April 2014
"What plan?! She planned for Air Force One to be brought down? She planned to get knocked unconscious by Batman? She planned for the Bana to purportedly to be the real enemy only they're not, thus making their entire sub-plot utterly, totally, completely worthless??!"
—Linkara's commentary on Circe's "master plan" in Amazons Attack.
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"Let this be a lesson, kids--when debating, solve your disagreements not with words, but by screaming I AM A MAN!!!, and punching them in the guts."
—Linkara in his Superman At Earth's End review, unknowingly introducing what would become one of his catchphrases.
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"Suspension Of Disbelief doesn't throw away all logic. It just allows me to believe that there are people that can run really fast or aliens that can shapeshift living among humans."
—Linkara
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"Is there no honor among ninjas and ninja-style dancers?! Such a feud could likely result in an alliance between pirates and ninja-style dancers! I’m sorry, but I frankly think the phrase “Ninja-style Dancers” is up there among greatest comic book lines in all of history."
—'Linkara on Nightcats "ninja-style dancers"
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"And so he upgrades his rig into a technologically advanced super-rig with radars and weapons and the like. But the most patently ridiculous part of this is the remote control he has for his truck that's inside of a silver dollar. And next he'll teach us how to put a TV remote inside of a quarter! Or how about a gun inside of a nickel!?"
—Linkara, "Top 15 WTF Moments in Bad Comics": #6: US-1's silver dollar remote control
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"I'm looking for plot holes. I'm looking for bizarre character motivations. I'm looking for terrible art. I'm looking for the bland, the bizarre, the lazy, the insipid, the surreal! If a character starts humping another character, I'll be there! If a man is powered by cocaine, I'll be there! If a basketball player challenges a giant lizard to a fight, I'll be there! Bring 'em all on!"
—Linkara in his introduction to Atop the Fourth Wall
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Narrator: "Previously On..." Atop the Fourth Wall... —"Daredevil #306" review
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Harvey Finevoice: (bored) Okay, "Previously On..." Atop the Fourth Wall... —Countdown review Part 2
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"Gee, it's almost as if the villainous, psychotic, manipulative, crazy-green-scientist-man who calls himself 'The Jackal' was lying or something. Who would've guessed?"
—Linkara's commentary on Maximum Clonage when the Jackal orders Spidercide to kill Kane to Kane's surprise.
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Linkara: You know, what is it about Ancient Egyptian artifacts that they always seem to have magic powers? Think about it: Black Adam got his powers from another mystical scarab, all the mummies that pop up because of necklaces and jewels... Oh, and let's not forget about the artifact that makes you want to play card games for the rest of your life. And to get through all this crap, you have to pass insurmountable odds in Indiana Jones-esque fashion, and more than one person would die along the way. It seems to me that Ancient Egypt was a freaking death trap! Screw archaeology! Ever think there was a reason this crap was buried?! —Blue Beetle Tribute
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So begins them (Triplicate Girl and Karate Kid) travelling around trying to find a cure for his [Karate Kid's] disease. Wait a second, I just realised something. These two are running around looking for a cure. Bob [the Monitor]'s group is running around looking for Ray Palmer. Jimmy [Olsen] and Forager are running around looking for the New Gods killer. Trickster and Piper are running around looking for a way out of their handcuffs. They should have just called this series Running Around Looking for Crap!
—Linkara, Countdown review Part 1
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I'm not some pretty boy with marital problems. I don't have some confused psyche or unresolved parental issues. You're not dealing with a Silent Hill protagonist here! Time and again, someone got it into their head that they could defeat me. Time and again they beat me down, they knocked me out, and they tried to make me give up. You come at me with insecurity, self-doubt, and angst? You try to make me doubt who I am? I am the man who defeated Pyramid Head. I am the man who conquered Countdown. I am the man who fought off the Vohrsoth and destroyed Mechakara! I am the liberator of Kickassia! I am a Starfleet captain! I am a Power Ranger! I'm That Guy With The Hat! I am Linkara!
—Linkara, Silent Hill Dead/Alive Issue 5
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I can't begin to imagine how anyone followed all this stuff at the time. It'd be like if I introduced plot elements in my show that somehow ended up on Spoony's show and... uh... nevermind.
—Linkara, Spiderman: Greatest Responsibility
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I won't rest until even the shark is bored with me!
—Linkara on his Twitter
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(after explaining Santa Claus Conquers the Martians) And yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus Conquers the Martians comic!
—Linkara in his final Christmas review of 2010
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There are two kinds of magic in the world: Magic as a force that can grant the wondrous... and then there's narrative magic. The kind where we get the classic phrase:"It's magic we don't have to explain it".
—Linkara in his review of Superman: Distant Fires.
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"This is Linkara, Calling Lord Vyce. If you are receiving this signal, then you may wanna take that huge-ass helmet off you head and listen for a minute. Listen, I just wanted to tell you how deeply honoured I am. You see, I was once told you were the stuff of nightmares for gods and monsters alike. And that's why I'm so honoured, you see, you've seen fit to show me your true colours-and the main one is a big bright shade of yellow, All that you see, you conquer, huh? Well, I guess you never did really set your eyes on me then, you were too busy looking the other way and running for your life. And it's a good thing, too- you've shown just how inadequate you are. You're not up to the task of facing this "Entity" you're so afraid of. Tell you what- why don't you go tuck your cape between your legs and run home, While I deal with it- after all, it's what you're good at. However, if you want to prove me wrong, you know where to find me.
—Linkara taunting Vyce, Youngblood #3
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"Yes people, I have heard of Sonichu. I really wish I hadn't heard of Sonichu. I would be a much happier man if I hadn't."
—Linkara on Sonichu
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I'm sorry, I didn't realize there wasn't a difference between "I do not care for this and it looks weird, but I heard a lot of people like it" and "This is the worst thing ever".
—Linkara, explaining what he said about The Maxx in response to a He Panned It, Now He Sucks backlash.
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"Beneath the seas, beside the flame |
"The path you should have never crossed |
"The bones from hell you cannot tame —The poem of Entity
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"'A piece of the world is missing'. It doesn't mean that it's gone... It's your NAME!!!
—Linkara, in his show's biggest Wham! Line to date.
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Linkara (voiceover): There is a sound in my nightmares. It is a hiss, a screeching of notes that comes from a game that I played as a child. It is shrill and high-pitched, grating on your soul like nails upon a chalkboard. This was not the sound of any natural creature. This is an abomination; a perversion of the programmed perfection of the world. In other times and other places and in my book, they called it 'The Lost Beast'; but to me, it shall always have a different name... —Recap Reveal
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I am the Voiceless. —The Entity/Missing№
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Missing№: Then welcome to my glory, hyuuumaaaan... |
(Visual Effects of Awesome ensue as he walks around Missing№/90's Kid) |
Linkara: "So go ahead and create your kingdom of the Never-Should! Let the Glitch be everything, the distortion the reality! Become everything there is down to the tiniest particle until you are literally existence itself! In the end, you'll still have the same damned problem: that's there is no challenge left- No Heaven to aspire to, and no Hell to avoid. You will live forever, alone as everything, and existence itself shall be your prison! All experiences will be a part of you; all possibilities will have been considered and completed. Every life-form, every molecule, every single Should and Never-Should and it will have all been done. Everything will be you, and everything will be meaningless. And when you do become existence -- when the definition of existence equals Missing№ -- you will scream your shrill hiss and let it vibrate along the totality of your being, When the lie of your existence is laid bare, because there is simply nothing else for you to do! |
Narrator: "Previously On..." 'Atop the Forth Wall'... —-- Mr. T #2 Review
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- ↑ Seriously, where did he? We need to know where to stay away from.
- ↑ The answer? It's been "Powered By a Forsaken Child!"
- ↑ Gunslinger Theme, full version