Kiss comics review - The title card. Seeing the cast of the show dressed like KISS is just hysterical.
The kid in the comic mentions wanting a Nirvana reunion:
Linkara: Now you've done it.
90's Kid: Duuuuude! They should totally do a Nirvana reunion! They could dig up Kurt Cobain's corpse and then prop it up on stage and have some zombie chicks use it like a puppet!
Linkara: (Beat) There is something seriously wrong with you!
The Running Gag with Todd in the Shadows uncontrolably laughing at Linkara's proposition to do a KISS comics crossover review. Which culminates when Todd stops laughing and agrees to do it... when Linkara is done reviewing both of them.
The implication that Todd was laughing in the background for the entire review.
"Yeah! Because I prefer the parents of the girl I'm sweet on to be flaming homosexuals!"
Linkara: (Looks between bear and the camera) It's a bear!
Second video amounts to this: Theme song. Linkara: "It sucks!" Credits.
The credits list a bunch of clip sources, which were, of course, not used. Extra funny? One of the sources is "Scorpion Rain," the infamous Power Rangers fan film/hoax. Which was never completed. Double Extra Funny? Linkara also included Vogon Jeltz's poem.
Most of the rest of the sources are lost films.
The entirety of his third April Fool's Day 2011 video, parodying The Irate Gamer. It was, in a word, perfect.
"It doesn't matter how awesome a concept [Beta Ray Bill] is, or how good the stories are, because I'm irate and therefore never wrong."
"Not like me though! I am good grammar and spelling! Because as you know it takes a very long time to make these videos! I mean, it just takes forever to read a comic book, and scan in pages, and then I add special effects! [Big picture of a banana drops in] This took me three weeks alone!"
"I read comic books while I'm eating a tasty bowl of Yummy Mummy and drinking Kool-Aid, and now I have to look at bugs[1]?! Breakfast is ruined!
The montage. Shaking the comic, reading it upside down, reading different comics, it is genius.
"Look how long it takes me to turn the page!" and he proceeds to flip the page with the footage being slowed down. Also a great Take That to IG's Super Mario Bros. 2 review, were he complained the star is too slow. Not only did he do it in the area where it would naturally take the most time, but he actually slowed down the footage.
All-Star Batman and Robin #3-4
Linkara spends a good part of the video simply staring at the comic in horror. It gets funnier every time.
Of course, nothing can top the infamous line: "I touched my mother's breast. It bled on me." At that point, Crazy Steve and Linkara had both snapped, and it shows.
And shortly after that we read twelve year old Dick's narration box: "Those bigass FINGERS of his SQUEEZE like a gentle CARESS."
Linkara: Oh my god?! Dick wants to be molested as much as Steve wants to do it! I think I'm gonna be sick..."
The upbeat delivery of "I call him Steve!"
This gem:
Dick Grayson, age twelve: Batman's completely nuts. Linkara: NOOOOOOOO. WHAT GAVE YOU THAT IDEAAAH?
The titlecard itself, with Linkara as Dick Grayson, age twelve, and Batman having Pedobear's face.
"Now we know Frank doesn't get Batman anymore! Batman hates rock and roll!"
In response to Linkara's reaction to Black Canary being an Irish ninja a number of Irish (and people of Irish-descent) explain that all people with Irish blood are ninjas. How varies (one says they learn it in school instead of anything else and another says its genetic) but they're all ninjas.
*Pizzicato Playtime starts up* "Saay... My watch broke!" The look on his face is priceless. He is so satisfied by the prospect of No More Miller Time that it's hilarious.
"What, no interludes with The Flash, who in this I'm sure is a drug-crazed extortionist? No checking in with Green Lantern, who is no doubt a KKK member who devours the hearts of young girls after molesting them?!"
Lady Gaga #1
His reaction to seeing the main character sleeping on a couch.
Linkara: Who wants to see an overweight jerk in a hat sitting in a green chair, making rude comments about other people's work and I think I'll shut up now!
His reaction to seeing the main character dreaming about Lady Gaga, reenacting the intro to 'Paparazzi':
Linkara: Now, you see right here that I'm only zoomed in on him dreaming of something and him drooling. That'd be unattractive enough, but now let's take a gander at what he's dreaming about, shall we? (Zooms in on first of three panels.) Linkara: First up, he appears to be making out with Lady Gaga. Okay, fair enough; dreaming about making out with an attractive celebrity. It's not all that attractive considering what we've seen of this guy... (Pans over to second panel) Linkara: ...but nothing too--what the hell?! Is he pushing over the ledge?! What the hell are we supposed to take from this-- (Pans over to the third panel, of the "hero's" head on Lady Gaga's body.)
Linkara: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!
(Linkara is seen holding the comic and shaking in abject panic for several moments.)
"And now it's time for another right turn into WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN--."
Spoony starts mocking Linkara for liking Nickelback. Linkara pulls out a remote, presses a button and Spoony's room shakes. Says Linkara, "I HAVE A SPACESHIP!"
The return of "EVERYTHING WAS BETTER ON MY EARTH!!!"
"My husband, the most creative soul in the universe." "... you live in a pretty tiny universe, lady."
"Seriously, are there any other main characters available that we can have? This one's defective!"
Star Trek: The Motion Picture
Linkara is attempting to christen his now-named vessel. The champagne bottle will not break open.
Linkara: Break damn you!
A bit of Fridge Horror or Funny Aneurysm Moment when you realize that the champagne bottle failing to break is not a good omen in nautical folklore.
The reenactment of the trippy, slow-motion wormhole scene from the movie.
"I am a huge Star Trek fan." *Looks down at his Starfleet uniform* "Duh."
"Great, it was the Decepticons that got their hands on V-Ger."
Before, following Spock saying V'Ger comes from a planet of living machines with the original Transformers opening.
Aha, so V-Ger was behind the evil that is ancient Egypt!
"Wait, did I leave the oven on before I left? Oh crap..."
The Godyssey #1
Him not sure about being offended or awed by the very idea of the comic, eventually settiling on calling Jesus "Hey-sus" (the Spanish pronounciaion, a fairly common name). The Christian Martial Artist.
A news report about the Enitity disappearing various building...and Linkara's too busy reading to notice.
Yes but he was noticabley reading the book from Silent Hill that contains that ominus poem about The Entity.... but the fact he was ignoring infor about the same thing he was reading about makes it funny again.
The report is on Lori Prince Live, and as usual, he gets a call from the Joker.
Fridge Logic kicking in when the comic asks the reader to solve a maze involving Superman and buildings, showing the shortest route is a straight line.
The credits gag, where Linkara claims the Quik Bunny was in cahoots with the Weather Wizard and escaped with the cash, but is now being pursued by Jèsus, Christian Martial Artist!
Ultimate Warrior's Workout
Linkara Lampshading how Dr. Insano hasn't been seen on the show for quite some time:
Insano: I know we're archenemies and all... Linkara: Yeah, but you've been rather quiet lately.
Linkara's rather nonchalant and unsurprised reaction to seeing his future self return from Chicago.
Hell, the entire damn comic is just solid gold WTF-ery, especially if you go to the gym at all.
Ultimatum #1-2
Linkara's response to a whale crashing in the Fantastic Four's HQ and The Thing shouting "What the **** is going on?!"
"Oh I think we all know what's going on: the Ultimate Warrior decided he could fight the pounding of the ocean, and this is just the ocean fighting back!"
"Hulk help Spider-Man! Then Hulk smash Spider-Man!" Beat "It kind of funny that way!"
That same rant, his Punctuated! For! Emphasis! outburst was hilarious, because it's as close to cussing as he tends to get. That and the face he makes compliments the sudden shift in tone.
Linkara's reaction to Thor charging into an army of the dead screaming "For Valkyrie!"
[guitar riff] "Woah sorry 'bout that, the comic suddenly just go positively metal for a second there!"
Ultimatum #3-4
In response to Hank Pym thinking he can bring The Wasp back to life:
Linkara: Our heroes are crazy, our villains are crazy... HEY, LET'S ALL JUST GO CRAZY!!! (starts dancing/flailing to "Fun Zone")
His fanboyesque gushing over how dying 'only made Captain America cooler'.
When Dr. Doom, Reed Richards, Zarda and Arcana find Nick Fury, and he asks them why he needs to come help them right now, Richards states (in defiance of the previous explanation for the disaster) "Magneto has shifted Earth's axis." Linkara snaps.
"BULL! CRAP! THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST TIME! YOU SAID MAGNETIC POLES! THE MAGNETIC POLES ARE NOT THE SAME AS THE AXIAL POLES! Axial pole shift also occurs naturally, although very, VERY slowly! It's caused by the distribution of mass throughout the Earth, and at best alters about ONE DEGREE every 130 MILLION YEARS! If that had been your explanation from the start, yeah that'd cause serious problems, but you didn't! You said magnetic poles! Oh, and guess what? THE AXIAL POLES HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH MAGNETISM! YOU FAIL AT SCIENCE, COMIC! YOU! FAAAAAAAIL!!!"
After an amazingly convoluted and implausible Gambit Roulette from Dr. Doom:
Linkara's revelation regarding the comic's narrative boxes:
Linkara: "If Batman is supposed to be narrating all of this -- including the parts about him in the third person -- he comes across as a crazy person listening to the voices in his head. Okay, I think I just answered my own question there, never mind..."
Linkara: You mean that the humanitarian woman was... (distorted voice) EEEEVIL? (Scare Chord)
Throughout the review, he refers to the villain as "Evil Humanitarian Woman."
In response to Foe Yay laden trash talking between Batman and Spawn:
'Oh, shut up and just start making out already.'
Linkara seemed to really be in the Foe Yay spirit in this review:
'You know, Frank, the more you try to convince me that Batman's better than Superman, the more it makes me think that he's just some jealous fourteen year old... And maybe possibly that he's in love with him. (Drinks)
Gameboy #1
"So... here's a weird thought: These two are really the first Digidestined, and the Gameboy is their Digivice."
That '90s Kid fails karaoke night forever.
(IN the middle of Harvey and Pollo singing "Wind Beneath My Wings") ROCK ON!(throws up horns while Harvey and Pollo look at him funny... well Harvey anyway). One of the show's best moments by far.
"We're gathered here today to say farewell to our friend, our colleague, and our beloved Eminem. As per his final wishes, we will now play music that he requested to be played at his funeral." (cue a snippet of the opening theme song for My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic)
The comic was only ever available online, and as such, no physical copies exist. However, force of habit has Linkara doing this:
Linkara: (does his usual holding up the comic gesture with nothing in his hands) So let's dig into Eminem Meets The Punisher! (looks down at the empty space between his hands) Don't worry, I'll explain after the theme song.
Barbi Twins Adventures #1
The Beast Wars reference. Yes...
Someone in the comic says "They'll be Barbicued" and then a clip from one of Robot Chicken's 300 parodies is shown.
"THIS. ISN'T. FUNNY!"
I just like Linkara's "...really?" expresion before the clip plays.
"In retrospect, lacing the makeup with nitroglycerin was not my smartest move."
"This has been a test of the 'Desperate for Anything Resembling a Joke' System. Had this been an actual joke you may have actually laughed."
As it appears the protagonists are going to die:
Dr. Cox:Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present "Man Not Caring".
When he points out that cover says it's a "First Collector's Item Issue", we get:
Linkara: "Got it for $2.25 at my local comicbook store incase you're curious. I was over-charged by about twenty-bucks."
Just before saying "This comic sucks!"
Linkara: This is a comic book that forces us to ask questions. Namely, there are three questions that I want answered. Avery Brooks: Why? Why? Why?
Rise of Arsenal #1 and #2
The opening, with him having just read the comic and reacting to it. What's really hilarious is that he fakes us out on it; he puts his face in his hands and starts what you think is crying because of how bad the comic is...and then reveals that he's really laughing histerically because of how unintentionally funny it is.
"Arm go in, arm come out. Arm go in, arm come out."
His reaction to everybody (save Roy Harper) attending Lian's funeral in costume.
Say, how can we ruin the somber, serious attitude of a child's funeral? How about everybody dresses up in bright, flashy primary colours? There's something wrong when Batman is the most appropriately dressed for a funeral!
The overly-detailed conspiracy theories appear to be a reference to the Umberto Eco novel Foucault's Pendulum, judging by his reference to that very object in his first clip.
The epic battle between Suede's two costume concepts.
"Stickboy, these readings indicate that it's mathematically impossible for me to give less of a crap." *musical sting*
At the end, Roy Harper "blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece."
This line:
Arsenal: Got any china cat? Linkara: I've got a porcelain bunny, does that help?
Comic Book Advertisements
"I WILL BURY YOU!!!!"
Linkara not only anticipating Douchey McNitpick's appearance, but then confusing him when he admits to ripping off the Nostalgia Critic, and then hits him with the Comicron 1.
"No...Noooo! The TurboGrafx-16 is taking over my braaaaaaaaaaaain! *head explodes*
"Only Hostess cupcakes are worth living and dying for!"
Welcome to Atop the Fourth Wall, where bad comics burn, AND SOON YOU WILL ALL OBEY ME!
Mirror Rob Liefeld is a great writer and artist whose Schedule Slip is only a month at most.
Mirror Linkara singing "Phenomenom" to the tune of "Mahna Mahna".
When Iron Liz tells Linkara what his Mirror Universe counterpart was like, she lists various flaws that sound like they could be describing the real Linkara, before mentioning that the review was pretty much the same as the one he did:
Linkara: So, other than the review, this other universe counterpart was absolutely nothing like me. Iron Liz: Riiiiight. (Beat) Linkara: I'm not sure, but I think I was just insulted... Pollo: I'm sure.
At the end of the review, he pulls out a magic glove and wishes it didn't exist. It works... but it turns it into what may be a parody of both Power Rangers and The Dark Age Of Comic Books. One person who left a comment on the video wondered if that comic was actually real. Considering that, after it appears, he says, "Tune in next week for my... 150th... episode..." it might be... which makes it even funnier.
Girl in comic: You'll never catch us jumping around and yelling for a bunch of dumb jocks! Girl #2: No way! Linkara: And insert your own Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls joke here.
When Linkara was pointing out that the Megazord parody has a diaper that say "Mighty Morphin' Huggies", he points out since in-universe the team is called the Power Ringers like the title and that the diaper should say "Mightily Murdered Huggies" instead. In mid-sentence, it cuts back to Linkara.
His increasingly silly names for the villan, Lord ZZZZZ, such as Lord Razzmatazz, Lord Zazzle, Lord Pazuzu, and the culminaion, Lord Zelarackanickanackafivecrackashishkoombah.
Kamandi at Earth's End #1
Linkara's attempt at burning the real Superman at Earth's End comic.
Linkara And so, I will give you the burning you so rightly deserve. (Uses the torch on the book only for it to not catch aflame.) At least I would if this thing weren't made of some kind of indestructible material.
[Cut to:] Linkara I have returned. And placed a newspaper inside the comic! It will burn now. [pause] Hopefully.
[Torch: does not ignite] Text added later: Footage sped up 4x in order to get to the part where burning occurs.
"Our duty is to find the cause of the second apocalypse." "Our only clue is this: DC relaunch coming September 2011"
90's Kid's cameos. (Note: Following quotes are paraphrased)
Linkara: Who thought it would be a good idea to give Kamandi improbably sized guns? 90's Kid: (cue Nirvana) Duuuuuuuuude! Linkara: Of course.
And later:
Linkara: What fans were actually writing letters clamoring for this kind of thing? 90's Kid: (Disbelief) Dude! Linkara: Besides him, I mean.
"I've been training my whole life for this! I even learned to punch real hard while shouting that I'm a man!"
His conclusion about Kamadi's version of Canada. May count as Crowning Moment of Awesome for Canadian viewers.
Kamani: Mother says Canada is a night zone now! Linkara: Canada would later be renamed "Casino" and thus "Casino Night Zone" in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was born.
Also, this bit:
Linkara: Ah, yes, the Amero-Canadian War. I'm still not on speaking terms with Phelous. Phelous: What? That's not true,I just appeared on your show last week!
And then it circles back around into being funny. "He's probably just on break."
A meta one: considering that this is a Twilight Zone comic review, Linkara naturally uses "Jump Around" for the credits.
Superman and the TRS-80 Wiz Kids
Finding that the opening narration is more Twilight Zone-esque than the actual Twilight Zone comic, a Rod Sterling voice, submission for approval, and closing sentence completing the association.
His "recap" of the previous two Wiz Kids videos:
Watch the other two reviews. This is a long comic and it's not like the other two videos are hard to find.
Linkara saying that only one person was affected by the supercomputers being disabled cutting to-
Crow: I WANNA GET ON THE INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY! I WANNA GET ON THE INFORMATION SUPER HIGHWAY!
Street Fighter #1 (Malibu Comics)
He uses a Sylvester Stallone voice for Sagat... and keeps using it even after Sagat insults boxing.
When Ken (who is filming an advertisement) uses the move "Dragon Punch!":
Linkara: Enjoy "Dragon Punch" energy drink! (shows picture of an energy drink called "Street Fighter Dragon Punch") [[[Beat]]] Yes, this thing exists.
Reading all of Ken's lines as a douchey, arrogant celebrity.
"Now, you are like this tree: Infested with wood ticks!"
Silent Hill: Paint It Black
He spends much of the review spouting Angrish about how nothing about the story makes sense.
When a minor character by the name of Joe shows up near the beginning and calls out Ike on his laziness and douchebaggery, Linkara doesn't even bother changing his voice for him. He just reads Joe's dialogue in his actual voice, most likely because it's exactly what he wants to say to the guy.
His affection for Joe in general is just hilarious. "I miss Joe!"
Linkara using his usual "This comic sucks" catchphrase but dragging out the "sucks" part to show how bad it is.
Linkara emphasizing the "w" when saying this bit of dialogue:
Cheryl: Asses and elbows, ladies! Move it! Work it! NOWWWWWWW!
Meta Example. In Silent Hill: Paint It Black, we see in the stinger that Spoony for eaten/deleted by the entity. THE SAME DAY later, Spoony himself posted a quick VLOG about him getting a puppy.
Silent Hill: Among the Damned
For some reason, Dahlia's light southern accent is absolutely hilarious, especially when she's saying things like 'worship me.'
Insano: Anymore questions? Linkara: Why aren't you wearing any pants!? Insano: That's not important right now.
After not-caring the hypertime-destroying Destrucity away, Linkara, Spoony, and Dr. Insano become Gray Lanterns (Who have the ability of not giving a shit about anything.) Dr. Insano suggests maybe watching TNA Impact, and Linkara and Spoony, who before had been taking everything with indifference, both insistently decline and walk out of the room
Also, from the out-take, Spoony's doing his Black Lantern Spoony routine when Oreo climbs onto his lap. Spoony looks down, and without changing the effect done to his voice, says "Hi doggie."
Black Lantern Spoony's cameo when the Ultimate Warrior rips out a guy's heart: "He dare to steal my gimmick? This comic offends me."
Followed by an appearance from Black Lantern 90s Kid.
As Dr. Insano says they must use Spoony's "completely sad and lame knowledge of pro-wrestling" and Linkara's "funny book crap" to save the multiverse, he points to the opposite critic of each description.
Benzaie with Beary's head.
Spoony's rebuttal of Warrior's philosophical crap about the view from windows by saying that his own window looks out at a wall, complete with a photo.
Angry Joe: Did the Warrior just find the thesaurus function in Microsoft Word? Jew Wario: I'd make my own alliterate joke, but the Warrior just killed alliteration for all time!
Linkara's mid-battle conversation with Holo-Linkara.
Holo-Linkara pointing out that Silent Hill tried to kill Linkara both previous times he reviewed the comics. "Did you think he wouldn't notice the pattern?"
Linkara is apparently sick of his apartment turning into a Silent Hill homage every time he reviews a crappy comic about it:
"Okay, boxes, since obviously pushing you out of the way is not going to work- I mean, why WOULD it- you are just going to topple over and go away for me. And if you don't, I'm just going to step over your ashes."
*Boxes fall over*
"Thank you. I'm glad we could reach an understanding."
When the Silent Hill fog first rolls in at the beginning of the review, Linkara just blows it away with a portable fan. The way he's so nonchalant about it makes it even funnier.
Spider-Man: Planet of the Symbiotes
The video opens with Linkara saying his Catch Phrase only to be interrupted by the Entity and pulling out the Magic Gun in response. The way he swings it around is hilarious.
When the Symbiote begins to Wangst, cue Linkara with a smile on his face, who then begins to play Simple Plan's "Untitled (How Could This Happen to Me?)".
During a exhibition where a scientist is showcasing the next step in virtual reality:
Linkara: (in a German scientist accent) Now say it with me: We are VR.
The Doom Callback
Linkara!Eddie Brock: (in the voice of the Doom Marine) RIP AND TEAR! RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS! OH CRAP, YOU THINGS DON'T HAVE GUTS! THAT CAN'T BE GOOD!
Linkara: Yea the truth of the matter is that TiVo hadn't been invented yet and they didn't want to miss the super bowl.
Pokémon: The Electric Tale of Pikachu
The ending, where everyone who was captured by the Entity (even those not seen being captured) comes back and lampshades the fact that they were posting videos despite being missing.
Suede:Whoa-ho-ho! What was that? That was different. Ah, dang it, was this whole thing just a Pokémon reference? I love Pokémon, I would've loved doing a cameo. Oh well, I guess there's nothing for it. *He pulls out a Gameboy.* Now where we? Yes, old man, tell me your secrets... and then it's off to Cinnabar.
Everyone checking to see if 90's Kid is ok and cleared of The Entity possessing him. After asking what happened, he then realizes to his horror his collector's editions of "Bloodgun" are all gone.
Ninja Style Dancer: (holds up a sign) Oh joy, he's back to normal.
Playing "Sexy Back" every time Gary Oak makes an appearance.
Linkara: Gary Oak: Rock star of the Pokemon universe.
Linkara expressing his 10-year-old self's anger when his Missingno experience popped up with a Kabutops skeleton instead of the distorted pixel block we all know Missingno as.
Harvey's reaction to returning to existence right next to Boffo, who was only introduced after Harvey disappeared.
His exasperated deconstruction of the Pokémon formula from schools exempting Pokémon trainers to having to take half day course to be liscensed trainers.
When Ash hears Pikachu from outside, the word bubble has Pikachu make a noise from the wall
Kind of funny when you realize the Fridge Brilliance: Missingno used Self Destruct.
One of the first lines of the actual review:
Linkara: I'm recording this right now despite that it's very, very, very unlikely anyone will see this, seeing as I'm the only human still alive.
The deadpan way he says it is really funny as well as being Nightmare Fuel...somehow.
Linkara's concise and deadpan explanation of what Missingno is, how it has somehow become a Eldritch Abomination and how it is currently standing outside his door, followed by Missingno's laugh.
Linkara: Yeah, it's been a bit of a day...
Just cutting from the title card to Linkara wearing Ash's hat and fingerless gloves is worth a laugh.
"Ghosts exist! And they have special attacks! And they smile!"
Linkara: Hmm, trying to grab a creature that can shoot out electricity and lightning bolts. I can't see anything going wrong with this plan... *cut to Ash getting electrocuted* Ash Ketchum - that kid who'd always poke at a Hornet's Nest.
"OH LOOK, TRICORDER!"
To elaborate, in the Updated Rerelease of the review, the new stinger shows the Magic Gun back safe and sound, with Pollo asking why Linkara didn't get infinite copies of the gun. Linkara answers that the Magic Gun wasn't in his 6th item slot when he encountered Missingno, and instead got so many tricorders that he was pulling them out of every crevice of his jacket.
The Entity/Missingno is absolutely terrifying. This makes it all the funnier when Linkara manages to get a Flat What out of it.
Describing one panel as "Pikachu suddenly becoming the Nyan Cat".
Return of Atop the Fourth Wall LIVE
The comic features several panels where Linkara is just able to sit back and let the audience's confused/horrified reactions speak for themselves. Probably the best comes from the Hulk's abrupt appearance, where he actually turns to look at the panel as confirmation that it exists while the audience freaks out for fifteen seconds.
Particularly when he gets cut off by the audience lauging, such as after being introduced to Japanese Kingpin.[2]
Then immediately cuts to Peter screaming in the middle of class.
Linkara: But since started screaming in the last page, in this one his just going "EEEEEEEEEIIIII!!!", like he's mourning the Fonz.
Describing the comic's artist and writer:
Linkara: This comic was written and illustrated by a guy named Kari Andrews, the writer and artist of a comic named Spider-Man: Reign. Audience member: (among a Collective Groan) Oh, god! Linkara: For those unaware, Spider-Man: Reign is essentially The Dark Knight Returns, except Spider-Man instead of Batman. And it's also the story where Mary Jane was killed by Peter Parker's radioactive sperm. (Massive WTF?! reaction from the audience) Linkara: I am not kidding at all.
Saying that the look of Japanese Uncle Ben makes him think of Rei Hino's grandfather, and how she's probably in the back, practicing her fire chant while Japanese Uncle Ben is being killed by Japanese Venom.
Linkara!Japanese Uncle Ben: Oh god, he's breaking my neck! Linkara!Rei: (falsetto) Busy, grandfather! Ichi, ni, san... (makes hand gestures)
The outtakes of Spoony's Hulk Hogan cameo, from Oreo (aka the Hulkadog) playing with clothes pins off camera to Spoony constantly calling Wonder Woman "brother" before correcting himself.
"Also, we on the surface have guns in abundance, even back in the '60s. Thus, the Mole-Human War of 1962 will probably just end in a huge pile of mole-meat."
The whole Office Max thing seems to be a case of Never Live It Down for Linkara: He makes another joke about it when the Fantastic Four are being attacked by the creatures in the underground:
Linkara: (as Reed Richards) Damn! If only there was an Office Max down here! Then I'd be able to stop them!
When Linkara plays a French solider (with a very fake and hammy accent) who is complaining about the Lemony Narrator.
All-American Comics #16
In the comic, a bridge collapses.
Linkara:(deadpan) This is your tax dollars at work, people.
His explanation for why he's reviewing a Star Trek comic instead of a Christmas-themed comic this year, reminding the viewers of the crappy Christmas comics he had reviewed in previous years (as well as Bearded Idiot), culminating in:
Linkara: Dammit, I'm giving myself a Christmas present this year!
"If we are gonna treat it like a funeral, it's gonna be an Irish wake! Booze me up, Scotty!"
Linkara's utterly crazed reaction to the comic in question relegating the legendary: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!! scream to a single panel and to a mere simple shout.
His impressions of the comic's wonky face illustrations.
Linkara: I don't know which emotion I'm conveying, but I'm conveying it as hard as I can!
"I did nothing... Except, of course, kick ass, because that's what I do. I'm James T Kirk. The 'T' stands for 'totally kicked your ass'."
Linkara's particularly flimsy excuse for why he's continuing the review in the middle of a storyline event, as well as Nimue's deadpan, "Why?".
Two during the scene where Spock prepares to stop the radiation leak: "I'm sorry Doctor, but since it's likely I won't survive, I need to pose you in a humorous fashion at least once before the end", and "Remember that you owe me ten bucks, and I expect it back when I get out."
"Kirk's best friend gets up and moves over to him and OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD, ZOMBIE SPOCK!" Particularly because the scene had been unusually well done until that art showed up.
Also, the title card. Linkara's expression is priceless.
"Because nothing says 'we love you and respect you as a colleague' by shoving them into something meant to blow up." And - as wrong as it sounds - Linkara's addition to Kirk's eulogy- "Afterwards, there will be cake and punch served on the bridge."
The nod to the comic miniseries "Infestation", which involves Star Trek, Transformers, and other series fighting zombies.
"NO one understands me, Teddy Kahn!"
Top 15 Personal Favorite Jokes
Linkara getting all the fan-favorite recurring jokes out of the way in the episode's pre-opening credits sequence, and merging them into one super-running gag.
The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future: And then in the year 5002, Ted Turner and Jane Fonda sent their infant son of eighteen years back to the present in a time machine made of Playstation 1 parts! Kaiba: You've been drinking again, haven't you? The Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future: Shut up, you're not the boss of me!
"$500 bucks? What the hell show are they going to see? Given this was Marvel, I'd think this was Spider Man Turn Off the Dark. Buuut, given the humor level of this thing, I think we really know what's really playing in that theater."
1975 Musical Superman: Hi there America and friendly nations everywhere, glad we could get together.
Miller Time: Robocop vs. the Terminator #1
Linkara suggesting that Skynet caused Judgment Day after discovering the existence of three live-action Alvin and The Chipmunks films
This exchange:
Narration Box: She waits. A bird calls out. Then another. Soon it's a chorus. It takes her a full minute to recognize the sound for what it is. And she cries. Linkara: (as the female time traveler) Why? Why are the birds singing "My Humps"?
Linkara imitating Robocop giving the Miranda Rights to the thugs he just killed.
The Stinger. Oh, my god the stinger. Linkara puts great usage of the scene with RoboCop going to handle the mayor problem with this exchanged:
RoboCop: Keep him talking. Lt. Hedgecock: Okay, Miller! Don't hurt the mayor! We'll give you what you want!
(Cut to The T-800 inside his motel room, going through a list of commands filled with curses.) The T-800: Fuck you, asshole. Lt. Hedgecock: Okay!
Revenge of AT4W Live!
"For all these kids know, they're just buying a box with weights inside of it. You know, like theJaguar CD!"
Making the "demonic" Feka employee sympathetic by describing him with an eye condition that is unfairly vilified thanks to Johnny Turbo.
He starts by giving the backstory on the Turbo Duo, a system that could run both cartridges and CDs without any add-ons. "And that's a great idea. The problem is how they decided to advertise it." (silently points to the comic as the audience cracks up)
Someone in the audience asks "Are you a man, or a Muppet?", clearly wanting Linkara to do his "I am a man" meme. But first he does a "puppet arms" routine.
"By the way, I couldn't help but notice the lovely skull decorations on this guy's [Feka's tsar] curtains in his office."
This interruption:
Linkara: At least I assume you have games. Otherwise, what are you giving those kids for free, blank CDs? Audience member: C+C Music Factory! Another audience member: Those bastards! Linkara cracks up
Sherlock!Oan: "Based on the evidence you provided, with the cast of characters, the relative powers and abilities of those within this universe, and all the clues that the story gives us, it is my professional opinion that... A Wizard Did It." Linkara: [deadpan] "A wizard did it." Sherlock!Oan: [nods emphatically] Linkara: "You're not a real detective, are you?" Sherlock!Oan: "Oh my, no..." Linkara: "I'm not getting my money back, am I?" Sherlock!Oan: "Ha-ha, not a cent!"
Linkara is seemingly oblivious to the cocaine-powered man in his apartment at first. But then he finally acknowledges the man and his crazy statements, and treated it like it was nothing.
"Yeah, evolution has dictated that our hair be on fire, our bodies replaced with circuitry, or that we should have really silly mustaches and over-sized earrings. Or we should be plants. "
When he sees the Slifer Kitty Karry, he realizes that ancient Egypt is once again behind everything.
After Hemogoblin eats the cat in the aformentioned Kitty Kase:
"Guy": (thinking) The man's an animal! Linkara: (as "Guy") Damn it, Hemogoblin; what am I going to have for dinner now?!
Snowflame running outside thinking snow is cocaine.
"Snowflame is stealing your shoes!"
Linkara: (smiling) They grow up so fast.
When Extraño points out that he has no idea what he, as a homosexual, is doing in a team whose main purpose is procreation. Linkara is so happy to see a comics pointing out it's own plotholes for him.
and moments later, Floronic Man's "pedo grin"
Linkara: Who invited a supervillain to the team? It's going to be Doctor Light all over again.
When Harbringer stats to angst about the fact she has no sexual experience. Linkara points out they if they are supposed to pass their genetic material, she doesn't needs to know more than the basics.
Gameboy #2
Linkara points out that the cover has Mario floating inside of a spacesuit's helmet while in outer space.
Linkara: The beta version of Mario Galaxy was weeeeeeeird.
All the references to the boys from the first issue being crazy/put in a funny farm.
"Hello Travelocity? I need tickets for 40 bees, a few octopi..."
After the dark cloud around the World Trade Center in the first issue and the plane hi-jacking in this one, Linkara concludes the comic is trolling him.
Double Feature '12 (Youngblood #4 & Star Trek: The Search for Spock)
Linkara, making a wrestling metaphor, admits he isn't much of a wrestling fan, getting most of his information from other sources. Cut to...
Spoony: Wrestle! WRESTLLLLEEEE!
Drawing Comics the Marvel Way stated that drawing characters with their legs wide apart indicates excitement. Cut to Linkara, standing with his legs wide. "THIS IS EXCITING!"
"So, so, it's totally not like any other character's shield. It's all computers and stuff. It's totally different. (beat) Shut up!"
The best part is that he's holding a copy of Youngblood over his Captain America shield. Trying to hide the logo in the middle.
On names:
Diehard: His name is John Prophet. Linkara: Miss Jackson if you're nasty.
His entire review of the Pitt prologue. Pretty much a minute-and-a-half of snark on fast forward.
"And nothing of value was lost."
Linkara sending Linksano off to engineering, then telling him if there was a radiation leak, not to be a hero. Linksanos response?
Linksano:Very little chance of that, I can assure you!
"When Starfleet blows you up, they want you to know that it was with a quality Mark IV torpedo! Only cheapskates and Romulans use Mark I torpedoes!"
"Was the Zombie Spock one of a kind, or a sign of the Zombie Apocalypse to come?"
Bones' response to Kirk asking if he's going to shave: "Nah, I'm going back to the Disco Unabomber look. I thought it gave me character."
When Kirk muses about how he feels "empty" without Spock:
Kirk: Almost as bad as the time Spock's brain went missing. (beat) Stop laughing, that really happened!
"It is a great honor to stick fried pickles into my head."
"My God, Leonard Nimoy must be high again! We're gonna find him completely naked, leaping from movie set to movie set, singing the 'Ballad of Bilbo Baggins'!"
"This is Vulcan Space Traffic Control. We're...oh my God, that's a Klingon Bird-of-Prey! Shoot it down!"
When McCoy is quoting Spock's last words:
Kirk: Dammit, Bones, stop quoting Spock! Linkara: I get enough of it at conventions, I don't need it from you too!
Because poor literacy... is not just about misspelling words. It's also saying "literally" when you're trying to emphasize a point.
Mr. T having nightmares about his brief rap career.
The return of "Bear!"
When Linkara jokes that nobody would believe Mr. T would have commited a crime, because of how amazing and inspiring he is. And immediately hopes there won't be any scandal involving Mr. T soon after this review.
When I said that Mr. T is a super hero, I didn't meant he is friggin Batman!
Mr. T #2
Saying the comic is a rebuttal to "Rise Of Arsenal"
Roy Harper: "You guys just don't understand my pain. I-" Mr. T: "Shut up fool! You take drugs, you're gonna see a zombie version of your daughter that tells you to burn things! I pity you, Roy Harper!"
Linkara's reaction to the cover featuring Mr. T getting punched out by "Stare Roy"? To walk away from the futon, pace around for a bit, and walk back all while saying "No" a bunch.
Even better is seeing Pollo, still in Linkara's Tom Servo watching the whole thing.
His added reaction to the comic's cliffhanger ending where Mr. T is knocked out by the aforementioned StareRoy, as he says "No" a bit more, even playing his DS while adding more to his "no-ing". He then makes up his own ending involving T faking defeat and beating Stare Roy, growing to giant size, joining up with The A-Team to stop the drug runners, and then singing a song about "friendship or whatever".
When Mr. T confirms that he doesn't use guns, an "A-Team" clip is shown of him doing just that.
Linkara's responce to Mr. T dangling Upchuck from a building:
Linkara: ...okay, I was wrong last episode; apparently Mr. T is Batman.
The bloopers at the end.
Spoony scolds Oreo for playing with her squeaky toy while "daddy's working"...and he doesn't even break character as Dr. Insano.
Doctor Insano: Do I look like I could sing as good as him?!
Vincent E.L., full stop:
Masterthecreator: "And finally, Vincent E.L.!" Vincent: [with a gun to his own head] "What? Me?! Wow... Things are finally coming up Vincent!" [Leaps up, starts singing] "All these years, and all this hard work, I've finally-" [Needle Scratch] "Wait, I'm not a title card artist, I made the Atop the Forth Wall theme song."
Masterthecreator: "Oh? Oh well then we don't care about you."
Vincent: "WAIT!" [cut off]
Marobot unwillingly talking to Snowflame: "Yes, I know you like cocaine. Who doesn't?"
The fact that Linkara managed to say "the power of pink" without laughing.
"Two muscle-bound superheroes in tight clothes, and tentacles. I don't even have to maker a joke at this point. You're all doing it right now on your own."
Explaining that he was going to be playing the game as well as reading the comic, and then showing us some of the mind-numbingly dull gameplay to explain why it's not happening.
Reaching the end of the comic, and faced with a cliffhanger tasking him to play the game in order to "Save Spidey, Cap, and America", Linkara excitedly decides to do so... and ends up getting bored by it.
Spider-Man: I'll go high! Captain America: And I'll go low! Linkara: And, because I don't know where in Europe Latveria is, I have no idea which one of you will be in Scotland before the other.
"I'm Dr. Doom! I automatically know who's coming to thwart my plans!"
Spider-Man acting like a valley girl and thinking that Captain America will ask him to the homecoming dance.
Linkara's impersonations of former president George H.W. Bush.
After Cap manages to knock out two mooks at once with his shield:
Linkara stating that the comic he is reading is something his friend Gordon would be an expert in. This then leads to Gordon calling Linkara over the phone and Linkara noting that he sounds like his voice is being dubbed over, and it is.
Linkara: *Picks up his phone.* Oh, it's, uh, my old friend Gordon. Hang on a second, I gotta take this. Hey, Gordon. Gordon: Hello, Linkara, this is Gordon. Linkara: Yes, I know, Gordon. Hey, are you ok? You sound kind of weird, like you're in dubbed over footage or something.
"There are question marks just floating in the air! What the hell are they?" This with actual question marks floating next to him.
"Hellooo, I'm Bob Slimy."
And all follow up slime-related jokes.
Linkara lamenting an antagonistic character's lack of genre savviness in threatening and racially abusing a black character:
"Dude, best not to wave your fist so close to him in a comic about ninjas and Kung-Fu. He's liable to bite your hand off in one move."
His response to "advice" dispensed by a fourth wall breaking character of ambiguous species:
"Thanks... Purple rat demon."
"Ah, yes, the most traditional of Kung-Fu weaponry. The umbrella."
The post-credits stinger, where we see the Ninja-Style Dancer "fighting" against the Plaid Ninja, a representative of the Evil Ninja Empire mentioned earlier. It's as hilarious as it sounds.
Linkara referring to one of the Mooks as "Krillin" and even including the "Krillin Owned Count" for when said mook makes a rather idiotic observation.
Linkara points out how much the comic fails at geography...only for the camera to cutaway to Linksano in an insert obviously made after the fact, explaining that the comic was actually right and Linkara's outrage was totally wrong. Later on, back in the regular review, Linkara harps on how the creative team has no grasp of geography...and we cut back to Linksano looking incredibly uncomfortable.
Even more embarrassing, he used this as his final insult to the comic at the end of the video, prompting him to dub in an argument between him and Linksano.
Which ends with Linkara simply just decking Linksano after he gets called out on making mistakes in his insults directed at last week's comic (The Invincible Four of Kung-Fu and Ninja #1), particularly the "flaming spear tip".
"Sorry two other ladies. You don't meet our definition of beautiful, so you're screwed."
His complete confusion at how a Transformers story can be "gritty."
Repeatedly calling out the comic's Continuity Lock Out issues, despite the writer saying it was designed to be newbie-friendly.
Linkara as Optimus Prime doing a monologue while oblivious to the battle going on.
As he plays The Touch over a scene of Optimus being badass, he stops it and remembers this is from the 90s and he should play something more appropriate. Cue Rage Against the Machine.
"We need to teach the Decepticons how important and precious life is......BY KILLING EVERYTHING!!!"
Captain Tax Time #1
At one point, Captain Tax Time punches the lights out of a random gaurd. The guard says Oh shii... before being punched and Captain Tax Time corrects him by saying he meant "sugar".
Linkara: This comic is a piece of sugar.
Linkara's outrage that the comic doesn't show how the two vigilantes managed to clean up all organized crime in Canada.
Boffo the Clown returns... to do Linkara's taxes.
"You get a tax! And you get a tax...! I am the Oprah of taxes!"
"If only there were some way we could vote them out during elections. It’s a pity we live in Canada, home of the goblin people." Cue confused shrug.
Linkara's increasing rage at Captain Tax Time and Sargent Saver's plan to stop the evil new tax by stopping all crime.
Superman #701
Linkara's Running Gag of "Superman! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! Able to (something stupid or immoral!)"
An unintentional one: when Superman stops to help some men fix a car, Linkara notes that Superman is glad to help people with problems "of all sizes, bigandlarge." Made even funnier (this time intentionally so) when he apologizes for this slip in the subtitles: "Editing your script? What's that?"
While on the topic:
Citizen: How do you know it's a damn fuel line? Superman: Trust me, I know. Linkara, in Superman's voice: I cut it myself.
"Pardon me, citizen, but may I borrow a cup of drugs?"
"All of a sudden, though, I get this weird feeling — like I'm doin' something I've done before — and I freeze up." "Oh jeez, the Taco Bell just hit me!"
The epic rant about how we don't learn anything about anyone on the team, and the few hints at their backstories are interrupted. "Do they like piña coladas? Give me something!"
Repeatedly getting the comic's name wrong, given how similar all of Rob Liefeld's work is.
His imitation of General Patton,whose speech he altered in the form of a Take That to Liefeld.
90's Kid gets one in the Stinger, too!
90's Kid: I love it; Dude help me, I do love it so...
After reading a long talk of the villain which concludes with him stating he will terminate them immediately.
Linkara:"Which is why I just spent a minute saying that to you instead of having my guards open fire right away with you at point-blank rage.(points to them) Clichèd characters,(points to himself) clichèd villains.
Marville #2
The video opens up with a very drunk Linkara struggling to get from off the floor to his couch.
Linkara: Hello and welcome to...that thing I do.
Linkara questions who would title their movie "Smut". Cut to The Reveal that this was what The Cinema Snob wanted to title his movie... until the producers shot it down.
The entirety of The Stinger: Snowflame gives a PSA on the benefits of succumbing to peer pressure while holding increasingly large and unwieldy props from past storylines.
When Spider-Man realizes that he knows the Brace Linkara goes on a mini-rant about how everyone Spidey seems to know becomes a villain.
Linkara:Peter Parker is a magnet for crazy people!
In the second story, a boy named Juan throws a bully several feet back with one shove of his hand. Linkara then declares that Juan has super strength.
The New Teen Titans Anti-Drug Giveaway #1
"I'm 13 years old and I've taken[…]pop and mushrooms." "Oh my God, not pop! First they get you on the Pepsi, then they move you up to harder stuff like Mountain Dew!" Even funnier when you realize he actually misread "PCP" as "pop".
Linkara's back and forth of Starfire constantly reminding Speedy of his past drug addictions, to Speedy's growing annoyance. And just as a little nod at one point Linkara as Speedy uses Starfire's real name.
Linkara ranting on about Rise of Arsenal, before realizing that, since the reboot, Lian would never have been born in the first place.
Linkara: You know, I think I may hate the reboot.
Not the only part:
Roy: Pal, you just made yourself a bad mistake. Linkara!Roy: Here! Wanna see the pictures of my DEAD DAUGHTER, who lead me to start taking drugs again!? DO YOU!? ANSWER ME, DAMNIT!!!
"Oh my God, it's fun being transparently evil! I'm gonna go kick a puppy!"
"BEING HYSTERICAL AND ANGRY IS WHAT POT DOES TO YOU, RIGHT?!"
After Linkara talks about how it turns out China Cat is actually a drug and wonders why they'd call it that we get this:
Linkara(said in a gravely drug pusher voice):Hey man you wanna get a hit of Slinky!? (starts playing with a slinky) Everyone knows it's Slinky.
After the line where Protector says that people uses drugs for many reasons and for no reasons.
Linkara 1: Hey, when did you start to use crack? Linkara 2: Eh. No reason.
Daredevil vs. Vapora #1
Linkara's fun with the line "It's some type of vaporous thing, a Vapora!"
Linkara: This is some type of comic thing, a Com-eec-a!
At the end of the review.
Linkara: All I can say is this is some type of stupid thing, a stupeed-a.
Linkara versus Physics:
Narrator: In front of him, a drop of 20 feet to the street below. Alone, it would be nothing; a puddle-jump. Linkara: Oh yeah, jumping down to the ground from 20 feet up is perfectly safe. Allow me to demonstrate- [THUD] OH GOD MY LEGS
When Murdock asks if the cop saw Vapora, the cop asks Murdock "Did I see?" and points to his eyes.
Murdock!Linkara: Uh I mean, did you HEAR that? I'm totally not faking being blind or anything.
His sheer horror over the teenagers using gasoline to clean their motorbikes. Wondering if they use gasoline to rinse leftover shampoo from their shower.
His reaction to multiple Vaporas.
Linkara: Wait, MULTIPLE Vaporas? There are MORE of this thing? Did everyone fill their gas tanks in a demonic cult ceremony?"
Especially good as he fixes the camera with a blank, hard stare for a good five seconds or so.
This week's Snowflame PSA.
WHERE IS SNOWFLAME'S FUZZY SLIPPERS?! WHERE IS SNOWFLAME'S FUZZY SLIPPERS?!
Batman: A Word to the wise
In the comic, Joker pulls a gun on one of his own mooks to prevent Batman from stopping him while he escapes before pulling the gun on Batman himself. Of course, he doesn't shoot him (with bullets), but Linkara decides to what would happen if he averted the Why Don't You Just Shoot Him? moment.
Linkara: (As the Joker) *Pulls the trigger and shoots* Heh. T-that was surprisingly simple. Kind of funny, actually.
Linkara showing the gaping flaw in the Joker's plan. His army is only six people, Canada and the United States would crush him.
Linkara drops a line from his theme song when the Gunslinger starts shooting.
Linkara: You have a magic gun? Where'd you purchase that?
When the Gunslinger notices that in spite of the sparks and explosions, nothing in Linkara's apartment is being damaged by his gunshots. This may end up being important, but either way it's a nice bit of lampshading.
His making most of the sandwich in typical Large Ham fashion, then carefully measuring out the cocaine put on top.
Linkara as the girl at the library.
"Chapters! I need chapters!"
When the Joker tells Batman he'll "see (him) in the funny papers", Linkara follows up with infamous "Joker Pulls Boner of the Year" headline.
Linkara pointing out the silliness of Batman commenting on the beauty of the Canadian wilderness. Made even funnier by reading it in his Batman gruff-voice.
"Don't worry, kids, I can't fly either!"
"Unlike that Superman...Not that I'm jealous or anything!"
Pointing out the girl's unhealthy obsession with reading to the point she was excited about reading information pamphlets.
His commentary on Batman swinging through the air while fireworks are going off in the background.
Linkara: (As Batman) Oh, God! My cape is on fire! Why did I clean it with gasoline!?
This may just be me being an ass, but seeing Linkara panicly hitting the Magic Gun and trying to make it work again, all while shouting "WHAT'D I DO?!?!" just cracks me up.
When Justin Timberlake gives another Revelation quote, Oancitizen suddenly appears with a huge pipe ("By the way, I'm in this review now.") and gives a well-researched summary of the Book of Revelation, along with describing how Southland Tales was written to be a transliteration of Revelation and the Biblical counterparts of several characters. Then:
Nostalgia Chick: So, what's the Biblical significance of the elephants fucking? Oancitizen: Oh, nothing, just stupid, unsubtle jabs at the Republican Party.
The reviewers frustration of the narrator's constant quoting of Book of Revelation.
"Revelation 22..."
(Entire Room) "SHUT UP!"
After a scene in the film where several shocking revelations are made, the reviewers parody this by shouting out their own revelations, culminating in Nash shouting "I'm pregnant!" Then JesuOtaku pops up out of nowhere, slaps him, and runs off crying.
Marvel Team-Up 74
The beginning of the video
Linkara: Spider-man meets the cast of Saturday Night Live...what? (cut to opening credits)
John Belushi being made a Green Lantern. Just try to picture it without cracking up.
