View source for Ariana Vampire Queen

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[[File:ariana_erahaha_silverdove______by_arianavampirequeen-d2ypzlv_4501.jpg|frame|link=http://arianavampirequeen.deviantart.com/art/Ariana-Erahaha-SilverDove-179251843|[[Troll|Yes]].]]
'''Ariana Vampire Queen''' is a [[DeviantArt]] author, admitted admirer of Erin Locklea (of [[Brewdening Love]] fame) and the new stage of madness in the domain of Sue-fics.

All her fics are centered around [[God Save Us From the Queen|Queen]] [[Overly Long Name|Ariana Erehaha SilverDove Seagull]], who [[Overly Long Name|gained]] [[Beyond the Impossible|names]] along the stories and is currently Ariana Erehaha [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|Celestia Twilight Sparkle]] [[Winnie the Pooh|Heffalump]] Chives SilverDove Seagull, daughter of [[Twilight (novel)|Aro Volturi]], who was upgraded to King of the Vampires. Ariana's an obvious [[Self Insert]] [[Black Hole Sue|Black Hole]] [[Relationship Sue|Relationship]] [[Mary Sue|Sue]].

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There are three main fics centered around Ariana :
* ''The story of the vampire queen'' (usually shortened to Vampire Queen) introduces Ariana. She lived the past six years in a foster family for her protection, and her foster parents are going to let her live with their friends, the [[The Omen|Thorn family]], while they're on a cruise. The parents, Ann and Richard love her. She also starts dating their nephew (and adopted son) Damien, and treating their son as if he had somehow wronged her.
* ''Da Life of Delia'' is a sequel, taking place nine years later in [[Harry Potter (novel)|Hogwarts]] (yes, they're still students at Hogwarts [[Writers Cannot Do Math|nine years later]]).
* ''Da Story of De Dalton Vampire'' (usually shortened to Dalton Vampire)) apparently takes place in a different continuity, where Ariana goes to [[Glee|Dalton Academy]], despite being a girl, because her father threatened the principal. She then proceeds to make Kurt explode, have Blaine realize he's [[Out of Character|actually straight]] and wants to date her, and she joins the academy's Glee Club, the Warblers.
* ''True Blue Achy Heart'' (or True Bloo Hart): A story where Ariana goes to Afghanistan and meets the character from [[The Kite Runner]].
** It was rewritten as ''True Heart Love'', because "it was not as gud as it cud have bean". This time it's dedicated to [[Completely Missing the Point|snarkers]] Josky and [[Tropers/Fire Yoshi|Chibi]].

Her other fics include:
* ''Secret Family'': A [[Kung Fu Panda]] and [[The Kite Runner]] [[Crossover]]. Po is Assef's brother, somehow. And there's a lot of sex changes among other, worse things. It [[Makes Just as Much Sense in Context]].
* ''Edward Cullen goes to Hogwarts'', later named ''Hoggy Edward'': As the name implies, a Twilight/Harry Potter crossover. As the name does not imply, characters from [[The Kite Runner]] and [[CSI: Miami]] are in the story, and later on [[Winnie the Pooh]] makes an appearance. Edward Cullen, along with other characters such as Assef "[[Dude, Not Funny|Nazi Buttrapist]]" go to Hogwarts to stop Ronald Weasley from growing a beard, stopping some ancient prophecy in the process. [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?|This fic could be considered the top of Ariana's insanity]] (or [[troll]]ing).
As well as numerous one-shots that are based on fandoms as varied ass all of the above, [[William Shakespeare|Shakespeare's plays]], [[The Boy in The Striped Pyjamas]] and Disney's [[Hunchback of Notre Dame]].

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== General tropes ==
* [[As Long as It Sounds Foreign]] / [[Gratuitous Foreign Language]]: Sometimes a character will spurt random nonsense that the narration will dub as Japanese or French. [[Captain Obvious|It should not surprise anyone]] that this is actually never a real sentence — or even a real ''word'' — in those languages
** And then the ''Hunchback'' fics use grammatically correct [[Gratuitous French]].
* [[But Not Too Foreign]]: In Dalton Vampire Chapter 13, we learn Ariana's mother is, in fact, American.
* [[Butt Monkey]]: Mark Thorn is this in most of her fics, despite not making any sense in any fic besides Vampire Queen and Da Life of Delia.
* [[Catch Phrase]]: "Breakfast Roll" and "like the unicorns dancing with the elves" both qualify.
* [[Dear Negative Reader]]: Just like Erin, with a twist: she fails to realize some of the haters are haters (case in point: WolfBloodRei), and thanks them for their "good reviews" by inserting thel in her stories as her friends.
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]]: Too many example to list individually, so we'll just list one here.
{{quote|every1 was gay accept me and Damien. Damien.... was STRAIGHT!}}
* [[Damsel in Distress]]: Ariana, while being the most powerful vampire, is unable to do anything by herself and needs her current love interest to save her.
* [[Everything's Better with Princesses]]: While Ariana's officially Queen of the Vampires, since her father Aro's the king, that makes her a princess ([[Parental Incest|unless…]]). In that case, she inverses this trope so very much it hurts.
* [[Incredibly Lame Pun]]: Ariana's repeated use of "Tom Hanks" instead of "thanks" seems to be this, [[Don't Explain the Joke|because he's T. Hanks]].
* [[It Runs on Nonsensoleum]]: Oh so much.
* [[Out of Character]]: Basically any character who has a canon equivalent somewhere. Strangely, with the exception of WolfBloodRei, the snarkers in the [[Revenge Fic]]s are immune to this, notably with [[Tropers/Anya The Purple|Anya The Purple]] screaming that the whole thing is illogical.
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]]: More so than [[My Immortal]] and [[Brewdening Love]].
* [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Brewdening Love]], [[Twila the Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre]], [[My Immortal]], [[Face the Strange]]. Almost to the point of plagiarizing. For instance, many characters weep tears of blood, and will speak in something similar to this quote from Erin's Truelove Fight :
{{quote|"WARD HELL I SCREAMED!!!"}}
* [[Stripperiffic]]: Ariana and Po often wear clothes where you can see their boobs and/or asses.
* [[Troll]]: She's an obvious one.
* [[What Do You Mean It Wasn't Made on Drugs?]]: Pretty much the whole thing is the result of either drugs, insanity, of brilliant trolling. [[Take a Third Option|Or a combination of the above]].


== Vampire queen ==
* [[Anatomically-Impossible Sex]]: Let the quote speak for itself:
{{quote|"when u kissed damien ur love nd his sperm cum up nd den so u can hav babyes tru kussing becoz u are a great vampire>"}}
* [[Arranged Marriage]] : Attempted, as Aro wants Ariana to marry Edward.
* [[Continuity Snarl]]: In about three chapters. Delia seems to appear and be capable of talking before she's actually born.
* [[Crossover]]: ''[[Twilight (novel)|Twilight]]'', ''[[The Omen]]'', ''[[Forrest Gump]]'', ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]'', [[South Park]]
* [[Groin Attack]] : Ariana defends herself from [[Disproportionate Retribution|Edward confessing his love for her]] by… ahem… let's just quote it.
{{quote|I bit down hardon is dick.}}
* [[Rouge Angles of Satin]] : And HOW.
{{quote|"Aryana, (remember her nam is peeled dat way 2.) ariana..." a vooice shade.}}
* [[Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome]]: Delia. See [[Continuity Snarl]] above.
* [[The Cameo]]: Marik or Yugi from [[Yu-Gi-Oh!]] appears twice [[Non Sequitur Scene|for no good reason]]. The spelling's so awful it's not very clear who actually appears.
* [[What an Idiot!]]: Ariana spends five months "imprisoned" in an unlocked cell.


== Da Life of Delia ==
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: This sentence.
{{quote|den, as predicted by mort in the sentence abov dis chapta}}
* [[Crossdresser]]: Draco Malfoy, it seems.
* [[Crossover]]: ''[[Twilight (novel)|Twilight]]'', ''[[The Omen]]'', ''[[Harry Potter (novel)|Harry Potter]]'', ''[[Forrest Gump]]'', ''[[South Park]]'', ''[[CSI: Miami]]''
* [[Everyone Is Gay]]: To be more accurate…
{{quote|every1 was gay accept me and Damien. Damien.... was STRAIGHT!}}
* [[Nice Hat]]: The "vampire hat", which is apparently a talking hat.
* [[Perfectly Cromulent Word]]: Goffikulous.
* [[Secondary Character Title]]: Delia has practically no lines or importance of the plot — it's all about [[Mary Sue|Ariana]].
* [[Shout-Out]]: A very failing double shout-out to [[William Shakespeare]].
{{quote|i lookd lyk a goffik version of Hermia from wilbert shakespeeres a midsummer nites dreem. da dress barely covered my bottom (geddit bottom lyke da guy in shakespeara)}}
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: As the author note in the beginning of Chapter 3. It has surprisingly good grammar.


== Dalton Vampire ==
* [[All Gays Are Promiscuous]] : David seems to believe so. When Blaine asks why he doesn't give him ride, he answers.
{{quote|cuz u want a different kind of ride}}
* [[Attention Deficit Ooh Shiny]] : Blaine and Ariana go from talking about the ponies, to talking about the magic piss, to going to bed, without interruption.
* [[Back from the Dead]]: [[Informed Ability|Apparently]], Mark does that all the time.
** {{spoiler|Kurt}} comes back later too, {{spoiler|for a [[Heroic Sacrifice]]… but he survives!}}
* [[Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick]]: One of Warblers has laryngitis and can't sing, Ariana comes to sing in his place, Kurt compliments her… then he explodes.
{{quote|Blood was everywhere. Blaine smiled at me.}}
* [[Breaking the Fourth Wall]]: Ariana has "telikineses (like Vlodymort in [[My Immortal|my immmortal]])"
* [[Cure Your Gays]]: In that she makes Blaine (a canonically gay character) fall in love with her.
** And then Sebastian as well.
* [[Disproportionate Retribution]]: [[The Cameo|Mark]] gets killed because he's ugly.
* [[Flat What]]: Mr Tumnus' reaction at being drop kicked into the ground by Blaine.
* [[Killed Off for Real]] : Strangely enough,  {{spoiler|[[Mary Sue|Ariana]]}}
** {{spoiler|Then [[Retcon]]ned}}
* [[Shout-Out]]: To [[Face the Strange]]: the OKSAK (Operation Kill Senior And Kurt) is very reminiscent of KTFD
* [[Take That]]: At [[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic|My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic]] (the ponies and Ariana's three new middle names and ponies appear in the story), presumably because most snarkers are fans of it.
** At the [[The Chronicles of Narnia]], too.
* [[Weirdness Censor]]: No one, not even Blaine, reacts to Kurt exploding. People actually clap when Blaine kills a waiter because he's ugly.
** To be fair, the "Edward's magic piss" series is apparently canon AND part of this fic's backstory.
* [[Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe]]: Figgins/Figgina for some reason.


== True Bloo Heart ==
* [[Bastard Boyfriend]]: Assef fits the trope loosely ([[Completely Missing the Point|he only tried to kill Ariana before they were together!]]) and fits the literal definition perfectly.
* [[Crossover]]: [[The Kite Runner]] and [[Twilight (novel)|Twilight]].

== Secret Family ==
* [[Anachronism Stew]]: Assef checking on Facebook. Especially noticeable, considering in an earlier chapter Ariana reminds the readers it's in the 1970s.
** Earlier, Po checks his iPhone and starts a text conversation with Assef.
* [[As You Know]]: Amir and Hassan state their plan to kill Po's baby for no reason but to let the readers know they will kill him.
* [[Attractive Bent Gender]]:  {{spoiler|Waldo/Waldina.}}
* [[Crossover]]: ''[[Kung Fu Panda]]'' and ''[[The Kite Runner]]''.
* [[Department of Redundancy Department]] : Possibly [[Troll|on purpose,]] considering how obvious it is.
** In an Author's note : "Please enjoy a storey after approving of it."
* [[Disney Death]]:  {{spoiler|Kman.}}
* [[Interspecies Romance]]: Po and "Kman".
*  {{spoiler|[[Mister Seahorse]]: Po.}}
* [[Shout-Out]]: C'mon, a panda in an [[Interspecies Romance]] by a writer known to copy famous Sue [[Troll Fics]]? [[Forbiden Fruit: The Tempation Of Edward Cullen|Where have we heard that one before?]]
**  {{spoiler|The baby's name is [[SpongeBob SquarePants|Spongebob.]]}}
** Many, many shout outs to [[Face the Strange]].
* [[Parental Abandonment]]: Po and Kman forget Spongebob. Multiple times.
* [[Wholesome Crossdresser]]: Po. Maybe. If you can call him "wholesome", anyway, considering the story. He MIGHT have just switched genders.


== Hoggy Edward ==
* [[Catch Phrase]]
{{quote|BREAKFAST ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL}}
* [[Dear Negative Reader]]: Surprisingly averted — instead, the author notes in the beginning of each chapter is pure nonsense, such as
{{quote|enjoy a story after pissing on the staiars.}}
* [[Hypocritical Humor]]: In this fic, Assef refuses Winnie's advances stating that love between a bear and a man is impossible. [[Sarcasm Mode|What happened in Secret Family, again… ?]]
* [[It Runs on Nonsensoleum]]: All of Ariana's work does, but this deserves special mention.
* [[Secondary Character Title]]: You could say that Assef is the real main character in this story.
* [[Take That]]: The [[Winnie the Pooh]] references as a whole, directed at snarker Chibi, a.k.a. [[Tropers/Fire Yoshi|Fire Yoshi]]
* [[The Cameo]]: Yoda in chapter two, delivers a line then [[Rouge Angles of Satin|pisses away]].
** Mark Thorn, again, to serve his purpose as [[Butt Monkey]]. And then turns into [[Winnie the Pooh]]
* [[Vagueness Is Coming]]: What will happen if Ron Weasley grows a beard, again ?


== Oneshot fics ==
Ariana has many one-shot fics, especially since a few weeks ago when she became very active. Most are so confused and muddled up that the reader has no idea what the plot is, or whether there is one at all. Her recent fics have been mostly [[Crossover|CrossOvers]] between [[Twilight (novel)|Twilight]] and [[Glee]] , though she seems to be getting into [[The Kite Runner]] recently.

* [[Once an Episode]]: The revenge chapters will almost always feature Edward's (or Bella's) magical… bodily waste, then Ariana with Blaine (and maybe some other [[Glee]] males) flying on a machine gun. And involve the "flamers", of course.
* [[Revenge Fic]]: Several.

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[[Category:Fanfic]]
[[Category:Ariana Vampire Queen]]
[[Category:Mega Crossover]]