We Sell Everything/Quotes

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.


They've got allen wrenches, gerbil feeders, toilet seats, electric heaters,
trash compactors, juice extractors, shower rods and water meters,
walkie-talkies, copper wires, safety goggles, radial tires,
BB pellets, rubber mallets, fans and dehumidifiers,
picture hangers, paper cutters, waffle irons, window shutters,
paint removers, window louvres, masking tape and plastic gutters,
kitchen faucets, folding tables, weather stripping, jumper cables,
hooks and tackle, grout and spackle, power foggers, spoons and ladles,
pesticides for fumigation, high-performance lubrication,
metal roofing, waterproofing, multi-purpose insulation,
air compressors, brass connectors, wrecking chisels, smoke detectors,
tire gauges, hamster cages, thermostats and bug deflectors,
trailer hitch demagnetizers, automatic circumcisers,

tennis rackets, angle brackets, Duracells and Energizers,

Soffit panels, circuit breakers, vacuum cleaners, coffee makers,

calculators, generators, matching salt and pepper shakers...
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Hardware Store"
Welcome to All-in-One Mart. The only store big enough to swallow your town!


I got headphones. I got tentpoles
I got ten toes with ingrowns.
I got pimples.
You hit the jackpot, man.
You win big and some.
How much you want to spend, babe?
That’s all it depends on.
Banjo stings, and sandal strings.
Ham strings, candle strings, and cuff links.
Got bangles, candles, and Cadillac handles.

Come back next week I'll teach y'all to tango.
Galactic (With Lyrics Born), "I Got It (What You Need)"