There Will Be Brawl/Characters

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

Matt Key (Luigi): "People wanna watch 'there will be brawl' because it's the entire Nintendo universe fighting. I mean, is way beyond the Mario Brothers, I mean, by end of the series we will have like 50 different characters that have made small little cameos parts in there, and that's..."

Paul Duraso (Mario): "That's what you always wanted as a kid. To play Mario and Zelda."
—There Will Be Brawl: On Set


A Character sheet for the cast of the Deconstructive Affectionate Parody that is There Will Be Brawl. Now, we know that almost the entire cast is Darker and Edgier and many of them give away several Mythology Gags, so let's give those for granted already.

Now let's get rolling.


Our "Heroes"

Luigi Mario

"It will not be a Melee. It will be a Brawl."

Mario's younger brother, a good man going through bad times, doing what he got to do. Secretly a drug dealer working with his not-friend Wario and some other not-so-noble activities, but he will still do what is right when it's needed.

Mario Mario

"Alone? There are two Super Mario Brothers."

It's-a me, Mario! But not the same anymore. Our well known hero here has fallen into infamy and apparent depression. No longer a plumber, failed as a doctor, he nowadays resorts to drinking to drown his problems, but when Peach is kidnapped again, after falling at the bottom for a while, he got back up like never before, determined to rescue her.

Mario: "It is always-a Bowser!"

  • Limit Break: He perform his Final Smash against the Eldritch Abomination that is Game & Watch at the end.
  • Playing with Fire: Comes with Fire Flower in one scene and later unleashes a massive fireball attack with his Final Smash. And if that wasn't enough:

Luigi: "Bro, you're playing with fire!"
Mario: "The Super Mario Brothers are used to playing with fire!"

Mario: "And you know me! If I can't do it myself... I will raise a fucking army!"

    • And even moreso in the final episode.
  • Rousing Speech: To Olimar's Cult. He brings them back to their senses, and then calls them all out to fight to reclaim the streets of their kingdom.
  • Supporting Leader


Princess Peach

"One child. No matter how far we fall, we are never past redemption as long as we can hear the laughter of one child."

Still the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach is having a hard time dealing with the newly corrupt city, while her relationship with Mario (and Luigi) is attempted to keep secret, yet it's causing her troubles. She's kidnapped by Ganon to clear the throne for his puppet, Zelda, and is executed by the butchers.

Peach: "Pull yourself the fuck together, Luigi."


Luigi's Allies

Samus Aran

"Lucky for you, girls on my line of work have all sorts of contacts."

A popular stripper that uses her job to get plenty of information. Luigi recurs to her when seeking leads in his search for the princess, and from there onward she's been tagging along in his fight to save the kingdom. In the end, Samus dons her power suit one last time and participates in the final confrontation with Ganon and the butchers. She survives, but loses an eye.


Red

"So, was I any good?"

A young Pokemon Trainer of an innocent and generous personality. He's possibly the only untarnished good guy of the entire cast. After he dares to stand up against Ganon, Ganon has Wario deliver a bomb that kills him. His death and subsequent funeral are arguably the biggest Tear Jerkers in the entire series, and spur Luigi and his allies on in their final assault on Ganon.

Red: Luigi... I caught Jigglypuff! I didn't want you to know until I finished training her. She'll sing for you....

  • Tagalong Kid
  • Wide-Eyed Idealist / The Pollyanna: At first, his sunny disposition is strong enough to make him overlook his blatantly bad surroundings, such as insisting that the Pokemon fights are just them "playing a little rough sometimes" and, in episode six, acting completely oblivious to the seriousness of the situation when he's captured by Sheik and about to be taken off to be brutally interrogated. However, he does have his occasional moments where he gains awareness of the situation while impressively not losing his purity or innocence, such as in episode nine, when he is the first to intervene in the standoff between Ganondorf and Captain Falcon. Goes into pure Crowning Moment of Awesome territory as he is visibly terrified by Ganondorf, yet steps forward anyway, telling him with a shaky voice to "Get out of our Kingdom!"


Pit

Star of Tingle's Gay Bar and Captain Falcon's personal bitch. As for himself, Pit is mostly innocent, yet not really heroic. He gets involved in the problems of Mario and Luigi, but remains mostly neutral about the situation. He has a change of heart at the end and convinces Captain Falcon to join the final fight against Ganon. He survives, but not before Ness and Lucas rip off his wings.

Captain Falcon

"Come back sometime. Maybe... show me your moves."

The one in charge of Tingle's Gay Bar when the boss is out. Like his little boyfriend, Pit, he prefers to stay away from the conflicts arising around the city, but won't doubt to raise his legendary fist in order to rescue Pit when necessary. He skips town instead of helping Luigi take on Ganon, but Pit convinces him to turn back. He survives the final battle, and Luigi's courage reminds him of how to be a hero again.


The Police Force

Link

"None of us are the heroes we're supposed to be."

Chief of the Mushroom Kingdom police department, and quite aware of how cynical he has become. He's willing to do what he has to in order to employ the law and bring down the mafia groups, regardless of what it takes. He comes to his senses and realizes he's being played by Zelda and Ganon, only for Zelda to stab him with the Master Sword. He recovers in the nick of time with a Maxim Tomato and makes his last heroic stand against Ganon, but fails--the sorcerer kills him.

Link: "SHUT THE FUCK UP, NAVI!!"

    • He also visibly groans whenever Navi talks. The final episode subtly implied that he even used Navi to bring himself back to full health, which likely killed her.
      • Ah, not exactly. He had a syringe with him, similar to the one he used to inject Luigi with Maxim Tomato extract. Most likely, he just used his last dose for himself.
  • Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: Couldn't have been better placed.


Zelda

"We'll rule this kingdom together!"

Former princess of Hyrule, a nation that has fallen and been absorbed into Mushroom Kingdom. She works for the police, either as an Office Lady as Zelda, or as a secret agent as Sheik. However, it seems that her ambitions go too far... It's revealed that, having lost her faith in Link, she's turned to Ganon to restore her to power. At the last minute she realizes the error of her ways--and is killed by Ganon when she tries, futilely, to save Link from his attack.


Marth & Ike

A couple (yes, in the romantic sense too) of officers working under Link's command at the police department. They pass out as mostly formal, but aren't really too nice. A flashback implies Marth's partner was Roy, before his death. Ike is mortally wounded in an alley brawl, prompting Marth to rethink his priorities. He joins Mario's army, and after Link's death becomes the new police chief, presumably doing a better job at it than Link did.

  • Adaptation Dye Job: Ike is given black hair, likely to differentiate him from Marth, though it's shoulder length and straight rather than spiky.
  • Big Damn Heroes and Heel Face Turn: Marth comes back to fight for Mario after Ike's apparent death.
  • Da Chief: Replaces Link as this at the end.
  • Dual-Wielding: During the final fight, Marth shows up with his and Ike's sword.
  • Enemy Mine: Marth with Fox.
  • Ho Yay
  • Police Brutality
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Surprisingly, as opposed to their personalities in game, Marth's Red to Ike's Blue. Though they're mostly quiet, Marth comes across as much more hateful and merciless, openly mocking how much the Mario Brothers have fallen and even spitting at disgust at Luigi, who only wanted to help. Of course by the last episode, Marth becomes much more noble and responsible. Though just as arrogant, Ike seems to be less cruel and more dutiful. He also seems to be more sympathetic (despite his infamous quote), as he actually saves Luigi from getting shot by Falco, and actually reluctantly chooses to let Luigi go, prompting Luigi to come back and attempt to save him from Snake.
  • No Sympathy:

Ike: "You'll get no sympathy from me."

Saki and Isaac

Following the incapacitation and presumed death of Ike and during Marth's Character Development, these two were promoted to regulars.

  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Vaporised by the Falcon Punch
  • Jerkass: Even to their allies
  • OC Stand-In: Like most of the characters, Isaac acts nothing like he does canonically, going from a noble silent warrior to a cruel and sadistic police officer. Especially since he is a minor character, and does not gain the justification behind their newer natures like more major characters (like Link and Boswer), with whom we get to learn what caused them to change so.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: both of them
  • Those Two Guys

Meta Knight

"I'll be here... watching."

A... whatever he is, working for the Police Department for only one reason: Watch over Kirby. When Kirby escapes during a jailbreak, it seems MetaKnight will finally have his revenge on the cannibal... but Kirby kills him instead.


Wario's Stable

Wario

"Information sells high these days."

Sells drugs and engages in other unethical activities. Wario was working under Mewtwo's command until the mafia don was killed. Wario is potentially the most unlikable character in the series for how much of a jerk he is, and how willing he seems to be to backstab anyone as long as it benefits him. Working on Ganon and Zelda's orders, he sends the mail bomb that kills Red. Red's girlfriend, Leaf, tracks him down and kills him as revenge.

Played by Kyle Hebert. Yes, really.

Wario: I've never been a proud man....

Kyle Hebert: "Is he... evil to the core? Mh... depends on how much money there is to gain."

Waluigi

"Tennis?"

Wario's mentally disabled brother. Wario doesn't treat Wa very well, keeping him locked in a pen most of the time, but the fact that he looks after Wa at all is his sole redeeming quality. Wario heartlessly uses Waluigi to deliver the bomb that kills Red.

Ice Climbers

Those Two Bad Guys working under Wario, and one of the most prominent examples of how far the Darker and Edgier setting has gone. They never speak, but you really wouldn't like to share a word with them. They're subdued by Marth in the final battle and presumably brought to justice.


Yoshi

Used to be Mario's pet until he had to sell him and two other Yoshis to Wario for financial problem, after failing his medical practice. Yoshi seems to have grown aggressive and feral under Wario's watch. Still, when confronted by Mario, as he puts it, Yoshi remembers who the real Alpha Dog is. Killed by the Ice Climbers--at Zelda's command--to send a warning to Mario. (It doesn't work.)


Kirby, "The Coral Cannibal"

"Only I can lead you to your butcher."

Forget everything you ever knew about the cute and lovable Nintendo character here, because this Kirby is a walking Homage to Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter. He was the monster who raised terror in the Mushroom Kingdom six years before the beginning of the series, until Mario and Luigi managed to stop and imprison him. During a jailbreak, Kirby kills MetaKnight and escapes. It turns out that he was the one who inspired Ness and Lucas to become the butchers. He kills Ganon and seems poised to begin a new reign of terror, but Luigi sets the building ablaze, apparently killing the cannibal once and for all... until Kirby resurfaces at the end, letting Luigi know he's alive and well elsewhere.

Any Viewer: "Holy shit! HE'S OUT!!"

  • Even Evil Has Standards: Subverted, (because this Kirby has no redeeming qualities), but as a Shout-Out to The Silence of the Lambs, Kirby behaves defensively over Peach when another inmate offends her while she was visiting him.
  • Devour the Dragon: Implied that after the final battle he eats Ness and quite possibly Lucas
  • Hannibal Lecture: Given the influences, this was inevitable.
  • I'm a Humanitarian
  • Karma Houdini: Yet another trait he takes from Hannibal Lecter. When we last see him, he has made his way to Nintendo HQ and apparently just killed Masahiro Sakurai prior to calling Luigi.
  • Manipulative Bastard: To a nightmarish degree.
  • Mind Screw: The entire series was just him doing this to Luigi, using everyone else as tools
    • To the fans: he tricks Luigi into dropping hints that Meta Knight or someone similar might be the butcher. He outright implies it when he says that Meta Knight has come to understand the mind of a killer quite well. He then shows up with Meta Knights's mask, sword and voice in the finale, as he reveals the true butcher(s) was just his pawn.
  • Not Quite Dead: Well, honestly, anyone who has seen The Silence of the Lambs shouldn't be surprised with this.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Guess who's the Big Bad.
  • Slasher Smile: He's good at these.


The Four Dons

King Dedede

"The last thing this city needs is more bloodshed."

One of the four mafia dons, and the most likable around the kingdom, having gained popularity among both the poor and the rich. He runs a whorehouse and is somewhat unfriendly when dealing with people, but despite his position, he wishes for the arising crisis to end. Killed by the butchers.


Ganondorf

"Your kingdom will know its new ruler. And if it doesn't, it will burn."

Another of the mafia mobs, still resenting the Old Shame that was the fall of Hyrule, mostly due to the fact the kingdom fell due to a bad economy rather than his minions and magic. He plans to take over Mushroom Kingdom, manipulating everyone he can in order to get his way. He kidnaps Peach and tries to set Zelda in her place as his puppet monarch, using Mr. Game & Watch as his army and Ness and Lucas to eliminate his rivals, but he loses control of the two butchers to Kirby, who kills him.


Bowser

"Those were the good days, weren't they?"

One of the four mafia dons and Mario's Arch Enemy, but as he says to Luigi, days like these are no longer fit for old fashion brawlers like Mario and him, so he has grown apathetic, losing interest in villainy. Now he only cares about enforcing order among the Koopas. Despite being the main suspect for having kidnapped Peach, it turned out he didn't. Bowser was poisoned by Ganon and Mr. Game & Watch in their bid to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom, but chooses to take out as many of the G&Ws as possible with a suicide bomb.

Bowser: "Survive this day, and tell your brother that no one ever made a trophy of the king!"

Mewtwo

One of the four mob bosses who run the Mushroom City's streets--until his untimely death. The police found his internal organs stuffed into a Pokeball. Ouch. Mewtwo was apparently a ruthless mafia don who nonetheless cared for his fellow Pokemon. In the final episode, we learn that in response to Kirby's rampage, Mewtwo tried to create a psychic army by experimenting on orphaned children. Two of his creations, Ness and Lucas, fell under Ganon's thrall.


Vagrants and Loose Ends

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong

They first appeared kidnapping Luigi for Ganondorf, and later as bouncers in Dedede's bar covering the whorehouse. Mario nearly kills Donkey Kong in a rage when he sees the ape with his former girlfriend, Pauline. Diddy tries to kill Mario in the final brawl, but ultimately puts DK's death behind him.


Fox, Falco & Wolf

"Wave of future! Everyone having one!" (Regarding Landmasters)

Three bandits wandering around the dark alleys. They easily scream trouble from a mile away. Wolf is killed by Marth in an alley fight, while Falco is sacrificed by Olimar's cult. This prompts Fox to rethink his life and join Mario's crusade. He's killed defending Marth, Ike's boyfriend, from Mr. Game & Watch.

Ike: The decrees of the Council are not to be debated with scum like you.
Fox: (mocking) Fancy words, from piglet.
Ike: Hold your tongue, furry.


Snake & Sonic

"Showtime!"

Both Canon Immigrants appear depicted as homeless and crippled, surviving however they can around dark alleys, and seem to be look after one another in order to survive any hardship that comes their way. They unfortunately were cut from the final episode due to time constraints, but were originally going to appear.

  • Back Stab: Snake attempted this on Ike, in a possible reference to the fact that one of the earliest screenshots of the game showed Snake grabbing Ike by behind.
  • Canon Immigrant
  • Companion Cube: Snake seems too affective with his box.
  • Handicapped Badass: Being in a wheelchair doesn't seem to stop Sonic from giving his part when the time to fight comes.
  • Take That: Neither are portrayed in a very positive light.
  • Those Two Guys


Captain Olimar

"We must have... sacrifice!"

Known as "End of Days", and damn insane. His actions and lines are the creepiest, his motives incomprehensible. If he's present, expect something nasty to happen. He's recruited by Mr. Game & Watch--his so-called demons--to join Ganon's plot to overthrow the Mushroom Kingdom. In the end, G&W kills him in a frenzy during the final brawl.


Mr. Game & Watch

Usually black (but also seen of other colors) 2-dimensional beings seen around the Mushroom Kingdom, usually in minor roles. It's unclear if they're separate beings or if they share a Hive Mind. They were the first inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom and secretly harbored a hatred for its current citizens. They make a deal with Ganon to help them reclaim the kingdom, acting as his army, but are killed by Mario in the final brawl.

Ness and Lucas

"Hehehe..."

Two little kids seen around the alley at one point, serving as Luigi's inspiration for going on fighting. Their role is a little expanded for some of the scenes of the finale, but they are pretty much background characters. Just kidding. Later they revealed to actually be the butchers, endowed with Psychic Powers from Mewtwo's experiments and taken in by Ganondorf--and, later, Kirby. They are able to kill by using their powers to rip the organs right out of their victims body (also using a snake and baseball bat for more damage) and you don't even want to know what they do to the bodies afterward. It is implied that Kirby eats them (or at least Ness) after the final battle.

Lakitu

"Fuck it, we'll do it live!"

The popular Koopa anchorman of Channel 8 News, Lakitu hasn't given up his ties to the mafia. He uses his position to influence public opinion against the Mario Brothers.


Cameos and minor characters

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