The Three Musketeers (2011 film)

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The Three Musketeers is a 2011 film loosely based on the novel The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. It stars Logan Lerman as D'Artagnan, Matthew Macfadyen, Luke Evans, and Ray Stevenson as the three musketeers, and Christoph Waltz, Orlando Bloom, and Milla Jovovich as the villains.

This film provides examples of:

• Action Girl: Milady. It's Milla Jovovich, so what did you expect?
• Adorkable: King Louis and Queen Anne.
• Authority Equals Asskicking: Richelieu spars with three Mooks at once in one scene.
• Batman Gambit bordering on Xanatos Gambit: Richelieu's makes up the plot, so the Musketeers counter with their own Kansas City Shuffle; Milady knows what they'd normally do, and they know she knows, so they decide to send D'Artagnan in as a decoy to get Buckingham cocky enough to let down his guard so the other musketeers can steal Buckingham's Cool Airship, which they can then use to kidnap Milady, who sure will have the jewels they need because she would never trust anyone else to keep them!
• Battle Couple: Athos and Milady, before her Face Heel Turn.
• Badass Beard: This movie is filled with badass beards and Badass Mustaches.
• Beneath Notice: Used to great effect by Planchet.
• Bittersweet Ending: On the Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism, this movie ends fairly high on the side of Idealism; sure, Richelieu's a Karma Houdini, but his plot failed, the Musketeers have renewed confidence in themselves and their work, and King Louis hints that he's going to start taking his job a lot more seriously. Oh, and Milady's Not Quite Dead, and she and Buckingham are on route to France with an entire warfleet.
• Camp Straight: Louis XIII. At first he exudes a crapload of Ho Yay at the beginning of the movie, but it's revealed later on that he genuinely cares for his Queen, he just Cannot Spit It Out.
  • Although historians think Louis may have been bisexual, so he might have been interested in D'Artagnan as well anyway.
• The Chessmaster: Richelieu, of course; he also uses Chess Motifs a lot throughout the movie.
• Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: Richelieu knows full well that Milady is capable of this, being such a Wild Card, and reminds her that he's more than willing to see she's Rewarded As a Traitor Deserves if she even thinks of betraying him.
• Cigar Fuse Lighting: Porthos does this during the assault on the Tower of London.
• Clock Punk
• The Dandy: Almost every important character sports fancy clothes at some point, but King Louis seems the most concerned about them.
• Disney Villain Death: Milady which turns out to be a Disney Death.
• Drowning My Sorrows: The Musketeers are doing this after being betrayed by Milady... or they would do, if they had any money.
• Fighting Dirty: Turns out Rochefort figured the winner in Guns VS Swords: guns win.
• Five Man Band:
  • The Hero: Athos.
  • The Lancer: D'Artagnan (second lineup).
  • The Big Guy: Porthos.
  • The Smart Guy: Aramis.
  • The Chick / Fourth Ranger Traitor: Milady (original lineup).
• Fourth Ranger Traitor: Milady double-crosses the titular Musketeers, her former partners, leading to their downfall.
• The Heavy: Milady, whose treachery set the whole plot in motion to begin with.
• Historical Badass Upgrade: Leonardo da Vinci (post mortem), Buckingham, and Cardinal Richelieu.
• Historical Villain Upgrade: Duke of Buckingham - from incompetent Camp Straight (bordering Camp Bisexual) to Badass Magnificent Bastard to rival Richelieu. Being played by Orlando Bloom certainly helped.
  • You'd think the same applies to Richelieu, but, looking at the guy's real-life career, his plot in this film fits right in.
• I Have This Friend: King Louis invokes this when having a guy talk with D'Artagnan. D'Artagnan plays along, because it's the King.
• I Kiss Your Hand: Slight Subversion with Richelieu; everyone but the King and Queen has to kiss his ring after an audience, because that's what you have to do to a Cardinal; he often uses it as a way of dismissing people when he wants them to go away.
  • Buckingham amps this Up to Eleven. Then again, he amps everything Up to Eleven...
• I Know You Know I Know: the break-in at the Tower of London takes this to amusing levels. Milady, who's worked with them in the past, knows their methods, and can give Buckingham the information. They know she knows their methods and will tell Buckingham. She knows they know she knows and will tell Buckingham. The English capture D'Artagnan, who she knew they'd use to infiltrate while the others acted as decoys, assuming she wouldn't take him into account. Turns out, they knew she'd do that, he's the decoy, and they do something completely different.
• Its Personal: It certainly is with Athos.

Milady: You didn't kill Buckingham, but you'll kill me? Athos: Yes... I don't hate Buckingham.

• Leeroy Jenkins: Milady with the booby-trapped vault corridor.
• Large Ham: Orlando Bloom quite clearly is having a grand old time. Then again, much of the cast looks like they're having a lot of fun.
• Not Even Bothering With the Accent: Pretty much everyone in this movie. The only exception could possibly be Orlando Bloom (him being British in Real Life and all).
  • Luke Evans is also British.
• Poisoned Chalice Switcheroo: At the beginning; turns out the poison was on the goblets...
• Pragmatic Adaptation: Surprisingly, in spite of what the trailers implied, the movie follows the plot of the original book surprisingly closely. It just throws a Cool Airship or two, or an entire fleet in, cause they're cool.
  • That's also used for creation of illusion that Milady and Constance were Spared By Adaptation cause Constance dies after the beginning of the war with England and Protestants and Athos needs an unsuccessful attempt in killing Milady to justify her execution. Pragmatic Adaptation meets Sequel Hook.
• Prisoner of Zenda Exit: Milady does this rather than be shot on the airship.
• Razor Floss: Part of the security measures in Queen Anne's safe.
• Refuge in Audacity/Crazy Awesome: You're being hunted by the Cardinal's men in an airship that, whilst it is cool, is also sinking a bit . What are you gonna do? Why, crash the ship into the Palace gardens, present the King with a document the Cardinal wrote himself which, out of context, makes the Cardinal seem loyal to the throne, making it impossible for him to actually do anything against you without revealing his own dirty work, of course!
  • Let's not forget Planchet: dude's threatened with capture, and he just starts grabbing food off a nearby buffet table...
• Rule of Cool: Airships, obviously. Taken Up to Eleven when one of them gets T-boned by another.
• Running Gag: Shut up, Planchet!
• Sequel Hook: Milady survived and Buckingham now has a whole army of airships to fight back. Obviously a setup for The Four Musketeers.
• Smug Snake: Buckingham.
• Shout Out: "life is pain, anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." is paraphrased.
• Spared By the Adaptation: Constance and Milady.
  • Death By Adaptation: Rochefort.
    • Hey, he had it coming - he never apologised to D'Artagnan's horse!
• Three D Movie: And done rather well, too!
• Token Romance: D'Artagnan and Constance.
• What If: Done with gusto. Athos as bitter at state ex-MIB rather that He Man Woman Hater leads to the whole new attitude towards women - like lecturing D'Artagnan that saving your true love and enjoying the youth is better that having your life ruined by serving the crown. Total opposite of the personality in book - and that's AWESOME.
• Zeppelins From Another World: Justified (kind of), as it's revealed to be a secret invention of Leonardo Da Vinci.