Stab the Salad

They wanted the sound of cabbages being chopped up, so they had to kill a guy.

—David Mitchell, QI

A character wields something in a threatening manner, the music builds, and then... the character does something utterly benign with that thing. It is often Played for Laughs.

It can overlap with Mistaken for Murderer. While that trope is an entire plot leading up to the reveal, this trope does it in less than one scene. The overlap is that such a plot can have several moments like this.

Compare Stab the Scorpion.

Examples of Stab the Salad include:

Advertising

Used in a DiGiorno commercial parodying Psycho, in which "Mother" raises her knife.... and cuts the pizza.
There was a Halls commercial in which someone raises his knife seemingly to use it to attack another person who's coughing, and then uses it to chop a piece off from the pack.

Anime and Manga

In Mahoujin Guru Guru, the heroes walk into the old witch's house to find her in the dark, cackling madly over a steaming cauldron of god-knows-what... it turns out she was just boiling potatoes.

Nike: Can't you do it normally?!

Once you've seen a certain arc of Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, you begin to realize that Rena's walking down the road with that billhook of hers back in the beginning wasn't out of any murderous intent, but because she had used it to hack things out of her way and pry out a statue from the garbage dump.
In an Alternate Universe detective episode of Sayonara, Zetsubou-sensei, while investigating a multiple homocide, Nozomu witnesses the girls run out of kitchen with knives and repeatedly stab something lying on the yard. Then they tell him that they were going to butcher a chicken for dinner, but it almost got away.
It might be a bit of stretch but the famous "Osaka With a Knife" scene in Azumanga Daioh seems to partake of this trope. As Osaka walks toward Yukari, Yukari's eye widens in terror. The next shot is of ketchup being squirted on an egg so for a split second, it looks like Osaka stabbed Yukari in the eye.
- Yukari then looks like she's going to soil herself when Osaka mutters "Aw man, I messed it up..." She was trying to wake up Yukari by banging pans together but grabbed...a knife instead.

Comic Books

In the Norwegian comic Eon the title character has just accidentally murdered a door to door salesman (or so he thinks). When he and his friend realize what has happened they decide to call one of their other friends (whom they for some reason assume will know what to do). Unfortunately they call him while he is cutting some wood. So when he arrives he is still wearing safety goggles and wielding a running chainsaw.

Film

Creepy, Nightmare Fuel inspiring Nazi Torture Technician Toht does this in Raiders of the Lost Ark. He comes into the tent where Action Girl Marion is being held, effortlessly disarms her, then pulls out a strange chain and wood instrument. Everyone who remembers Toht holding a red hot poker inches from Marion's eye earlier in the movie holds their breath...then lets out a relieved sigh as it turns out to merely be a portable coat hanger.
- Hell; Toht's own allies literally let out a relieved sigh at that part.
- This was actually based on a gag from a deleted scene of Spielberg's previous film 1941.^[1] He swore he'd try to put it in every later movie he made until it stuck and luckily got his wish right away.
  - Parodied in Family Guy by the Russian prime minister who uses a crossbow bolt to hang his tie and lights a cigarette with a lighter that looks like an assault rifle aside from doing the above gag.
The movie version of Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban has this. The executioner raises up his axe, the music plays and crows fly off... Later it's revealed that he only chopped a pumpkin in half out of frustration because Harry and Hermione went back in time and freed Buckbeak.
- The same trick is used in the book. Although this time the axe is swung into a fence.
  - And interestingly in Drawn Together but with a gun. It turns out something more horrific actually happens.
Used in Disturbia where the suspected killer sneaks up on the woman with a knife and cuts off the tag on her dress.
In Mars Attacks!, the aliens toss an ominously glowing sphere into the White House's War Room. They shake the object, revealing it to be a snowglobe, point, laugh, then shoot everyone anyway.
The Monster Squad pulls this off on the audience: After the kids are confronted by the Scary German Guy, the next scene shows him wielding a large butcher knife and threatening that their time is almost up...because it's their last chance for more pie. Scary German Guy is bitchin', indeed.
M might be the Trope Maker: near the end, a beggar witness points out Hans Beckert (Peter Lorre) as being the child murderer; unfortunately, Beckert has already ensnared his next victim and is taking her to a candy shop. A criminal follows them, hoping to corner Beckert and save the child, and starts forward in horror as Beckert pulls out a knife... only to use it to cut the peel off an orange. Audiences at the time, familiar with the all-too-fresh string of murders which inspired the film, were not amused.
A particularly dark form of this shows up in Trick R Treat, in which the "innocent" explanation is almost as bad as what the audience had first assumed. It really looks like Serial Killer Steven Wilkins just knifed his own son, Billy. But no, he was just helping Billy carve a jack o' lantern out of a human head.
In their final fight in Rush Hour 2, Dragon Lady Hu Li grabs a pair of chopsticks and then uses them to tie her hair back before she takes on Carter.
Diamonds Are Forever. While pretending to be a waiter, Mr. Wint raises a icepick-like device high in the air next to James Bond. He then strikes down but not to stab Bond: he drives it into the cork of a wine bottle, then uses it to extract the cork.
Something similar happens in National Lampoons Loaded Weapon 1 where Spinach Destiny takes an icepick and stabs a block of ice repeatedly saying "I! HATE! VIOLENCE!!!"... as Jack Colt and Wes Luger look on. Moments later, she turns around and offers them "Snow cone?"
And still something similar happens in Hot Shots: Part Deux as Topper Harley and Michelle Huddleston "reenact" a scene in Basic Instinct. After tying Topper to the bed, Michelle slowly grabs a screwdriver under the mattress. She raises it over Topper's head and stabs...a loose screw on the bed's frame which was squeaking loudly. Michelle tightens the screw and oils it even. She then tests the bed and once assured the squeaking had stopped, Michelle proceeds to romance Topper.
In Wallace and Gromit: The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit, when Lady Tottington asks what Wallace and Gromit are going to do with the bunnies they have caught, the next shot has Gromit holding something on a cutting board and raising a big knife...and then he starts cutting up carrots for the bunnies.
In the second Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle movie, the duo end up in a black neighborhood and crash their car into a fire hydrant, spraying water everywhere and causing general havoc. The residents silently and purposefully collect tire irons and similar implements and march towards the accident scene. H&K flee in panic. Turns out the residents were planning to help fix the car.
Played with in Léon: The Professional. Jean Reno is teaching a young Natalie Portman how to be an assassin. They set up a sniper rifle on the roof and shoot a politician jogging in the park, only for us to realize that it was a paintball gun.
In The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, evil nanny Peyton sneaks into baby Joey's room late at night. She menacingly approaches his crib - pillow in hand - as the music builds. She ends up just placing the pillow under the baby's head.
Whacko, a Psycho parody, opens with one of these, done by an actual serial killer who uses a halloween pumpkin motif.
In Crash Peter, who is hitchhiking, is picked up by officer Hanson. They awkwardly try to bridge the gap between their cultures but Hanson, at one point thinking that Peter is drawing a gun on him, shoots and kills Peter. It turns out Peter was actually going to show him the St. Christopher figurine he always carries with him.

Literature

Older Than Print: In Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Magnificent Bastard Cao Cao, on the run from the law (long story), takes refuge with a friend of his father's. Said friend runs off for a while, leaving Cao Cao to wait. Cao Cao overhears the sound of a knife being sharpened and a whispered: "hurry up and make the kill!" Cao Cao charged into the kitchen, murdering everyone in sight... before discovering that the intended victim was a pig.
As mentioned above, done in Harry Potter And The Prizoner Of Azkaban, where the executioner swings his axe into a fence instead of Buckbeak.

Live-Action TV

In the Angel episode "Bachelor Party", when Angel is spying on Doyle's ex-wife's fiance, he sees him taking on a demon aspect and drawing out a knife. One Super Window Jump later, it's revealed that she knew about him being a demon, and that the knife was to cut the strings on a parcel.
- In what may be a subversion Holtz draws a knife out of his sleeve when one of his followers questions his orders; when she ends up agreeing with him he uses it to peel an apple.
Arguably, this trope is the whole point of the Dexter title sequence.
- The season two opener repeats the season one opener, ending with the words "This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike..." - zoom out to show Dexter bowling and missing a pin - "Although a Spare will do."
- At the beginning of an episode in season four, we see Dexter wielding a large knife and making threats about how his target's days are numbered. Pan back the camera to show Dexter addressing a thanksgiving turkey.
On a Halloween-themed episode of That '70s Show, Fez is spying on Bob from Eric's bedroom while in a wheelchair. He starts to think, based on a bag full of bloody parts and a butcher knife, that Bob killed Midge. However, it turns out that Midge is out of town and Bob is just butchering an animal.
In ALF, Alf spies Mr. Ochmonek burying what turned out to be a side of beef in his back yard, while Mrs. Ochmonek was out of town. The beef also accounted for the bloodiness of his bathtub.
In Reaper Nina, who was previously trying to kill Sam, lunges across the table towards him. It turns out she's going for a steak, and just has (literally) demonic table manners.
The Buffy episode "All the Way" features a creepy-looking man wielding a knife and talking about how he's going to give Dawn and her friends "something special" for Halloween. Turns out it's a baked dish.

Newspaper Comics

A Dilbert comic (which later gave its name to one of the collections), "Bring me the Head of Willy the Mailboy" involves Dilbert being asked to complete this request. Dogbert freaks out when Dilbert shows him a bag obviously containing a head-sized, roughly spherical object, but it is then revealed to be a bowling ball.
One FoxTrot Sunday strip set things up like a scene from a horror movie, making it look like someone was being stabbed to death. It turned out to be Roger doing a poor job of slicing up a turkey.

Video Games

The opening for Disgaea 4: A Promise Unforgotten shows the vampire tyrant Valvatorez stalking and murdering his latest victim: sardines. Fenrich is not amused by these shenanigans.
In Tekken 3, Kuma/Panda's ending has Kuma waiting behind a wall, only showing a sinister-looking shadow, looking like he's getting ready to attack Panda. But as she and Xiaoyu walk by, Kuma lunges forward with a bouquet of bamboo leaves, attempting to court Panda. Not noticing him, Panda and Xiaoyu just keep on walking.
In a possible allusion to the Romance of the Three Kingdoms example (see Literature), at one point in Dragon Quest V you can choose to stay at an obviously sinister-looking inn in a cave with a creepy old lady while travelling with your new bride. She hears something in the night and asks you to investigate but you've become paralyzed and from upstairs you hear the sound of a knife grinding...In the morning, it turns out that the old witch was just making sure you slept soundly while she sharpened your sword which gains a permanent attack bonus.

Web Comics

From Lackadaisy Cats: Rocky finds the tire iron.
- In context, it's clear that he was doing it on purpose.
  - What's also clear is that he thinks it's hilarious, and that's the most important thing, whatever else may be on his agenda.
Hannelore of Questionable Content is extremely neurotic and inadvertently creepy, so when we saw her pick up a big scary knife, it was a relief when she used it to ~~stab~~ cut up a watermelon.
Tina of Wapsi Square is also quite creepy, and she pulled out a knife in front of someone she had been punching a few strips earlier. Fortunately she merely uses the knife to cut a slice of pie.

Western Animation

In the first The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror" episode, the Simpsons are spending the night in a haunted house and get turned against each other by the house so each and every one of them (including Maggie) get a sharp implement of some sort and they go stalking after each other...except for Marge who's just using the big-ass serrated knife she picked up to spread mayo on a sandwich.
- Another Simpsons reference sees Flanders chase Lisa up to the attic with an axe, muttering "time to put you away for good"... only for it to turn out that he was actually talking to the axe itself. In fact, that entire episode was a parody of Rear Window based on this trope, as Bart witnesses Ned Flanders' killing of Maude's favourite tree. It even has Lisa discovering a Schuman's farms head of lettuce and Jimmy Stewart watching Bart try to stop Flanders and concluding that "that sinister looking kid's coming to kill me!"
- Another episode, "Cape Feare", had Bart becoming paranoid after receiving several death threat letters in a row from Sideshow Bob, and seeing Ned Flanders waving a Freddy Kreuger-esque glove with the words, "Say your prayers, Simpson...Because the schools can't force you like they should!" He then goes back to using his glove to trim the hedges.
  - Later on Marge is walking towards Bart with a big-ass pair of scissors saying, "I'm going to get you...some ice cream at the store because we're saving our money on Diet Cola!"
  - When he's in class Miss Krabappel says he'll be her murder victim...in the school play on Lizzie Borden.
  - Then Homer later arrives with a butcher knife and blurts "BARTYOUWANTSOMEBROWNIESBEFOREYOUGOTOBED??" Finally revealing the case of brownies Marge had apparently cooked in between scenes.
  - Then Homer goes Motor Mouth showing off his new stuff, shouting HEYBARTLOOKATMYNEWCHAINSAWANDHOCKEYMASK.
- On a completely different episode, Bart and Lisa think Sideshow Bob has kidnapped their dad. They see him through a window stabbing what looks like a human head and burst in to find that Bob was actually stabbing a clay bust of Krusty to aerate it (although he seems to enjoy it an awful lot).
- Another episode ended with Moe holding up a knife at Neil Gaiman and saying he was going to do something he wanted to do for a long time. He then slices a pineapple and congratulates him.
Futurama: When preparing a cake for Nibbler's birthday, a jealous Bender remarks that it will be a cake "They'll never forget", grabs a box of rat poison and...pours it next to a rat hole by the floor. Then puts the box away and starts making the cake.
The Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends episode "The Big Cheese" parodies the famous shower scene from Psycho: "I FOUND A CARROT!"
- And in "Nightmare on Wilson Way", we see Bloo tying Mac to a bed and then raising an executioner's axe...before bringing it down to cut a sandwich in half.
In one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, Spongebob finds Mr. Krabs abusing captive jellyfish for their jelly. Spongebob grabs a wrench, and Mr. Krabs asks what he's going to do with it. Spongebob angrily says "Something that should have been done a long time ago!" before tightening a bolt and saying "This squeaky bolt has been driving me crazy."
In one episode of Jackie Chan Adventures, Jade (outside her body) sees a demon (who had possessed her body) going somewhere with a knife. She panics, music builds, she unsuccessfully tries to warn Jackie, cut to Possessed!Jade holding up the knife and...cutting an orange with it.
In Rocko's Modern Life we see Rocko saying he had enough of Heffer and then brings out a hammer and lunges to beat him...then it turns out he was talking about his busted vacuum cleaner.
- And of course the episode where Rocko sees Bev Bighead stab her husband Ed to death. Turns out it was just a bust made of hamburger meat.
In The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, a mace-wielding man known as "Lord Pain" comes to visit. There is a scene where Grim sees his silhouette performing a seemingly gory beating, and delightfully comments on how he is "mashing the kids like potatoes". Cut to inside, and it turns out he is mashing up actual potatoes for Mandy.
In part 2 of the pilot for My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, when the group comes upon a sea serpent distraught because of his mustache getting ruined, Rarity declares that she can't let "a crime against fabulosity" go unresolved, grabs one of the sea serpent's razor-sharp scales in her teeth and brandishes it menacingly upon which we hear a "thwack" and the sea serpent faints...turns out she was just cutting off a chunk of her own tail to use as a hair transplant.

↑ which means Christopher Lee first got to do it!

[1] which means Christopher Lee first got to do it!

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