Sorting Algorithm of Mortality/WMG

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To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by as many rows (At this point, 11 or less). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 or more characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.

Likelihood of death So dead Average lifespan Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score! 5 4 3 2 1
Age Older and Wiser Parent, Clueless teens Single adult Protagonist teens Child
Sexual Orientation Slut, Bisexual Gay Straight Reluctant Celibate
Love Interests by Genre Rich Bitch, Horror Genre Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Temporary Shallow, Romance show Shrinking Violet Damsel in Distress, Action Series
Role Villain, Faceless Goons, Red Shirt, The Obi-Wan Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt The Lancer, Hero of Another Story Ignored Expert The Hero
Race Black, Twofers Mexican Asian Indian/Native American White or The Same As The Writer
Aesthetics Ugly Fat "Average" Fashionably Scarred The Cutie
Personality Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent Jerk Jock, The Ditz Nerd, Jerk with a Heart of Gold The Captain The Messiah, Friend to All Living Things
Flaws Too Dumb to Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt Monkey (gritty), Smartass Wears Glasses Crippling Phobia Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues" Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys Smart, Genre Savvy Action Girl Pollyanna
Species Robots (non-living), Undead Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms Human, Human Aliens Pretty Aliens Dogs
Occupation Retiring Law Enforcement Officer, Villain by Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female, Any form of Mentor Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's friend Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander Adventurer Archaeologist Superhero


Example Cast:

Series or Film Name

Description of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.

  • Character A:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character B:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character C:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
Let's Sort Some Mortality!
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