Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality , simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by as many rows (At this point, 11 or less). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 or more characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here . For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness .
Likelihood of death
So dead
Average lifespan
Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score!
5
4
3
2
1
Age
Older and Wiser
Parent , Clueless teens
Single adult
Protagonist teens
Child
Sexual Orientation
Slut , Bisexual
Gay
Straight
Reluctant
Celibate
Love Interests by Genre
Rich Bitch , Horror Genre
Hooker with a Heart of Gold , Temporary
Shallow , Romance show
Shrinking Violet
Damsel in Distress , Action Series
Role
Villain , Faceless Goons , Red Shirt , The Obi-Wan
Loners , Plucky Comic Relief , Mauve Shirt
The Lancer , Hero of Another Story
Ignored Expert
The Hero
Race
Black , Twofers
Mexican
Asian
Indian/Native American
White or The Same As The Writer
Aesthetics
Ugly
Fat
"Average"
Fashionably Scarred
The Cutie
Personality
Nihilist , Crazy Survivalist , Innocent
Jerk Jock , The Ditz
Nerd , Jerk with a Heart of Gold
The Captain
The Messiah , Friend to All Living Things
Flaws
Too Dumb to Live , Skeptical , Genre Blind , Dirty Coward , Greedy
Fell astray , The Stoner , Butt Monkey (gritty ), Smartass
Wears Glasses
Crippling Phobia
Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues"
Holier Than Thou , Curious , Pragmatic
Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys
Smart , Genre Savvy
Action Girl
Pollyanna
Species
Robots (non-living) , Undead
Cats , Clones , Mechanical Lifeforms
Human , Human Aliens
Pretty Aliens
Dogs
Occupation
Retiring Law Enforcement Officer , Villain by Default , Happy Family Man , Competent secondary female , Any form of Mentor
Military Commander , Anyone Serving Under Him , Hero's friend
Scientist With Questionable Ethics , Innocent Bystander
Adventurer Archaeologist
Superhero
Example Cast:
Series or Film Name
Description of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.
Character A:
Row 1: Value 5-1
Row 2: Value 5-1
Row 3: Value 5-1
Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
Character B:
Row 1: Value 5-1
Row 2: Value 5-1
Row 3: Value 5-1
Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
Character C:
Row 1: Value 5-1
Row 2: Value 5-1
Row 3: Value 5-1
Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
Let's Sort Some Mortality!