Sabrina the Teenage Witch (TV series)/Funny

In I Think I Love You:

Hilda: "There's just one problem. When Harvey found out you were a witch, he dumped you like yesterday's trash."
Salem: "You dumped yesterdays trash?! That was today's lunch!"

From "Sabrina The Sandman" when Sabrina spies in Harvey's dream:

Sabrina: "See, Harvey was worried about his French test. It has nothing to do with me"
Salem: "And denial is a river in Egypt"

- From the same episode - Zelda's dream? Making out with George Washington.
The Gag Haircut episode where they hire Ru-Paul to give Sabrina a purple version of Marge Simpson's hairdo. And she gives Salem the same do at the end of the episode.
"My Nightmare The Car" the living car Sabrina bought from the Other Realm gets borrowed by Mr Kraft for a date with Hilda. After getting angry and driving all around town on a rampage it finally zaps itself into Sabrina's room.

Sabrina: "Aunt Hilda. How was the movie?"
Hilda: "Oh I laughed, I cried, you're in big trouble!"
Sabrina: (noticing Mr Kraft unconscious) "What happened to Mr Kraft? Did you put a spell on him?"
Hilda: "No, fortunately he passed out from terror."

"Boy Was My Face Red" when Sabrina casts a spell to get rid of Valerie's embarrassment and it boomerangs onto her instead, resulting in a certain bodily function happening during a presentation.

Libby: "Most people just use visual aids."

"When Teens Collide" where Sabrina is on trial against the Witches' Council.

Judge: "Have you anything to say for yourself?"
Sabrina: "I think your wig looks silly"
Crowd gasps in horror
Zelda: "Sabrina, that's not what I meant when I said 'grovel'".

Anyone remember Sabrina's intense Cat Fight with the Molly Dolly?

Sabrina: "You're going down you little plastic nightmare!"

Sabrina gives Mrs Quick a medal that turns her into a competitive freak, resulting in her having this attitude to a yard sale for charity:

Mrs Quick: "We shall drink out of a cup of our enemies' annihilation!" (cackles)

Zelda snaps from having too much work to do and before a big presentation all she can say is "it's pronounced hydroxine"

Hilda: "Great, it's the biggest night of Zelda's career and she has the verbal skills of a potato"
Salem: "It's pronounced 'po-tah-to'."

- The same episode also has Zelda forcefully hold Salem down while she fixes a bonnet round his head, randomly dancing around the living room and talking in a Southern accent.
- At the end when Hilda snaps as well she enters the kitchen playing an acordian.

Hilda: (In German accent) "The songs of Bavaria. We will never forget them"

When Sabrina turns into a literal Bridezilla with her lower half becoming covered with dragon scales.

Sabrina: "Look at me! I've become Tyrannasaurus Wreck!"

Really, the entire silent film portion of the appropriately-titled third season episode, Silent Movie. For starters, it's chock-full of shout-outs to Dudley Do-Right and various silent film tropes. But the very best bit?

Salem: (via dialogue card) I should have had a bigger role in this picture!

Aunt Vesta hires Hilda's string trio to get her away for the weekend. Where does she hire them for? Daytona.
- And before that, Vesta mentions that she gave Mr. Quick a "twenty four hour bug". It cuts to a horrified Mr. Quick fighting off a giant bug in his bathroom. By the episode's end, Quick wakes up in his bathroom and figures it must've been a crazy dream, but freaks out when he sees a fly on the floor.
When Salem's daughter is getting married, Sabrina has to substitute as her father which includes having a wrestling match with the groom's father (played by Billy Gunn).

Sabrina: (locked in a sleeper hold) "So glad I spent three hours doing my hair!"