Insane Cafe Series

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.

The Insane Cafe is a tetralogy of play-by-post RPs on the Gang of Five forum.

Each of the RPs is linked only to the previous one by name and by characters.

Each of the RPs is an arc that is part of an overarching story. This story chronicles the fight against the power mad mage named Chong. The first two arcs took place in a location known as the Insane Café. The first chronicles how Stripetail (squirrel mage) and Nick (character played by the admin of the same name) led a rebellion to wrest control of the café from Chong and eventually have him arrested. The second arc is a lighter arc about how the characters deal with an infestation of creatures known as Shurlups. This arc ends with the cafe being blown up, finally ending the Shurlup infestation. The third arc starts off as a light vacation in a hotel called the Inglorious Hotel, located in the coastal town of Surf Point. This vacation is interrupted when Chong escapes from prison and allies with a group of rogue soldiers known as Dragonstorm. They then attack Surf Point and the surrounding regions intending to enslave/kill everyone there. After months of intense fighting, Stripetail and his forces defeat Chong's army, strip Chong of his powers and imprison him. The fourth arc details Chong's escape from a prison planet and his quest for revenge against those who defeated him.

Tropes used in Insane Cafe Series include:
  • Amusing Injuries - Trixie takes a bite out of a sandwhich, which promptly explodes in her face, yet, she does not get hurt by the explosion and is instead, covered in soot because of it.
  • Animal Talk - Pikachu, Eevee and Vaporeon can speak clear English and can communicate with humans.
  • The Archer - Mr. Bigmouth and some of the Great Valley dinosaurs use bows when they are recruited into helping fight off the invasion in the third RP.
  • Author Appeal - It is very obvious that the RPer Serris loves guns and military hardware. And apparently likes extremely lax gun control regulations... To the point that someone with proper ID can buy a crate of grenades.
  • Back From the Dead - Hailey, whom had been killed off in the Darwin's Soldiers 'verse, is revived to help out the villains against her will.
  • Badass - almost every single character.
  • Badass Bandolier - In Insane Cafe 2 and its sequel, bandoliers are worn by Mr. Bigmouth, Deimos and Rime. Interestingly, Mr. Bigmouth also uses a much less badass but equally useful messenger bag in Insane Cafe 3. Also, Deimos and Rime use assorted pockets in their armored vests to carry stuff.
  • Berserk Button - It is generally not a good idea to hurt Trixie in front of Twilight, let alone threaten to kill her.
  • Big Bad - Chong
    • Mertavius in the fourth RP
  • Black Best Friend - Jackson
  • Bottomless Magazines - Averted.
  • Brain Bleach - Dixie Doo and Cynder lesbian sex.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall - Taranis from the third RP has a habit of doing this.
    • Naturally Pinkie Pie in the 4th RP. The first instance she shows this is that she says that she only knows to head to Ghastly Gorge, despite not hearing that the others were heading there, is because the plot of the RP requires it. Though this just ends up confusing Fluttershy as well.
      • She seems to be rather fond of doing it herself, to the point in heading from the Spire of Winter to Ponyville, by changing the scene herself.
  • Bulletproof Human Shield - Ghost in the 3rd RP uses a soldier as a human shield to absorb gunfire before using said soldier as a human projectile.
  • But Not Too Foreign - Hans, Werner and Franz from Insane Cafe 3 are explicitly stated to be Austrian. But aside from their location and their accent, they are pretty much the same as the rest of the cast.
  • Cain and Abel - Myra and Roze where Myra has been trying to stop her sister, Roze, from causing chaos, anarchy, death and destruction.
  • Casual Danger Dialogue - Hailey and Aimee end up having a rather pleasent conversation while fighting each other in the 4th RP, which involves Hailey telling Aimee about her plan.
  • Cerebus Syndrome - The first RP was nonsensical and narmy. The second RP got a bit darker. The third RP got very dark. Hilarious moments still occur in each though.
  • Cheshire Cat Grin - Vinyl Scratch pulls one off when talking to Spike.
  • Cluster F-Bomb - Deimos has an extremely foul mouth.
  • Comically Missing the Point - After Pinkie Pie makes an off-handed comment about the fanfic Cupcakes, she then decides that rainbow flavoured cupcakes would be delicious.
  • Cool Starship - The Phoenix is a massive starship that has a shopping mall and cafe inside.
  • Crack Fic - What else can it be called? Just look at some of the characters: Wataru, Dr. Zanasiu, Scooby Doo, Guilemon, Eevee and Nani. There is no other term for it.
  • Crazy Prepared - Pinkie Pie apparantly has many settings on her Party Cannon for all sorts of situations, inlcuding a "Save Fluttershy" setting.
  • Crowning Moment of Awesome - Quite a bit spread out through the RPs
  • Crowning Music of Awesome - No actual music in the RPs but there are several moments in them that demand epic music to be played.
  • Curb Stomp Battle - Hailey takes on the Wonderbolts while she assaults Canterlot and easily takes them down without really even trying.
  • Damage Sponge Boss - The mechanical dragon in the 3rd RP, it took many bombs and attacks and what have you for it to be finally destroyed.
  • Description Cut - In the 4th RP, Aimee wonders if Hailey is doing fine since being told about her plan. Cut to Hailey trying to survive against Kratos of all people.
  • Does Not Like Shoes - Pandora doesn't wear shoes, she only wears a shirt and a pair of shorts and that's it.
  • Everything's Better With Dinosaurs - Deimos (Utahraptor), Rime (Troodon), Mr. Bigmouth (Saurolophus) debut in the second RP. Ms. Swimmer (Saurolophus) debuts in the third RP. The Great Valley also makes an appearance in the third RP.
  • Epic Fail - Derpy starts jumping up and down on a rather hard floor that would be extremely difficlt to break without weighing quite a bit. She creates a hole in said floor and falls through it. Her exclamation though, sells it.

Derpy: Whoa! That was awesome!

  • First Kiss - Pandora recieves one from Mimi, granted, Pandora had no idea on what a kiss even was and thought that kissing someone was just lame.

Pandora: Still sounds rather pointless if you ask me, talking seems better

  • Five Rounds Rapid - Averted. In Insane Cafe 3, the characters use everything from magic to small arms to Molotov cocktails to anti-tank rockets when fighting a demon. And it works.
  • Genius Bruiser - Insane Cafe 2: Rise of the Shurlups and Insane Cafe 3: The Curse of the Haunted Hotel feature Zachary Johnson, an anthropomorphic Clydesdale who is very well versed in biology and is shown to be capable of tearing doors out of the wall with his bare hands.
    • Mr. Bigmouth could count. He is a rather large and strong Saurolophus who is pretty handy with a gun but he is also very knowledgeable about herbs.
  • Good Thing You Can Heal - Essential water grants a very potent Healing Factor. Consequently, Ceela, Ms. Swimmer and Mr. Bigmouth tend to be a bit reckless in combat.
    • Odysseus as well. He has a near total disregard for his personal safety as he cannot die. So far, he has been stabbed in the heart, shot in the head multiple times and other such injuries.
  • Gravity Is a Harsh Mistress - Pinkie Pie being her usual self, jumps off one of the living planes towards the chariot pulling the other ponies along towards Canterlot, but falls short, yet, gravity hasn't taken effect as Flttershy in turn, pulls her into the chariot.
  • Hammerspace - It's apparantly where Pinkie Pie keeps her Party Cannon. Lampshaded by Riley:

Riley: Um, where did you put that?
Pinkie Pie: My hammerspace arsenal, duh

  • Ho Yay - Dr. Zanasiu X Rime
  • Hero Stole My Bike - Ghost ends up stealing a Spider Tank in the 3rd RP and uses it to destroy three other attacking Spider Tanks.
  • Improvised Weapon - Occurs a lot.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Strut using a crowbar then a shovel to subdue a super powered Human who had tried to pick a fight with the entire hotel.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Rime using a machete to protect Spyro
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Zachary using a fire ax to take down a magically summoned knight.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Haresh using a frying pan to knock out an enemy mage.
      • Also him throwing lawn darts, rubble and furniture at the mages from the 2nd floor during a massive battle.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Ms. Swimmer throwing furniture and rubble (also from the 2nd floor) at the mages during the same massive battle.
      • Also her killing two mages with a toilet and a radiator, also thrown from the 2nd floor.
      • And her Crowning Moment of Awesome, fighting off and killing six assassins sent after her. In the bathroom with a baby changing station, a stall door, a metal paper towel dispenser and an end table.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Franz, Werner and Hans fighting off some summoned creatures using a piece of rebar, a pickax and a fire ax.
    • Molotov Cocktails are used in Insane Cafe 2 and Insane Cafe 3.
    • Insane Cafe - Nick and the rest of the heroes fight off Chong's plastic fork army with chair legs.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Ghost uses a grenade as a simple projectile to kill an attacking soldier in the midst of taking out four soldiers on his own.
  • Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons - Spyro and Cynder debut in the second RP. Tarrax and Sara debut in the third RP.
  • Lady Drunk - Sort of. Pikachu starts to drink some punch and soon gets drunk and passes out after some time.
  • Lethal Harmless Powers - Nani exploits pepper spray's flammability to set fire to a group of mages.
  • Loads and Loads of Characters - Not surprising since there is no limit to the amount of characters that can be controlled by one player.
  • Love Triangle - There seems to be one going on between the Cutie Mark Crusaders of all characters. Sweetie Belle likes Apple Bloom, while Apple Bloom in turn likes Scootaloo. Too bad that Scootaloo hasn't really shown any feelings towards neither Sweetie Belle nor Apple Bloom.
  • Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot - Appears in the second and third RPs. Dinosaurs with guns, dinosaur archers, a stick fighting Saurolophus and much, much more!
  • No Name Given - Jackson in the 4th RP. So far, his first name has not been revealed.
  • Noodle Incident - The Insane Cafe 3 has Mr.Bigmouth mention "The Gravel Pass" incident. It is never fully explained but it is heavily implied to be a friendly fire incident in the Great Valley.

Scootaloo: That was an accident!
Apple Bloom: Sure it was

Aimee: I lost...to an aligator...the aligator...won the duel...
Pinkie Pie: I know! Didn't I tell you that Gummy was a master duelist?

  • Post-Modern Magik - the series has this in spades. Some of the more insane and cool highlights.
    • Insane Cafe 2 - Strut briefly uses Remington 870 shotgun that had been enchanted to fires bolts of green fire (no Bottomless Magazines though).
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Dr. Kerzach wields an enchanted switchblade.
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Chong uses enchanted mustard gas (enchanted for extra lethality).
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Chong makes golems are made out of scrap metal and given heavy weapons (like railguns, autocannons, missile launchers, etc.).
    • Insane Cafe 3 - Roze uses a crate filled with spare parts for an armored vehicle to make a mechanical dragon.
    • Insane Cafe 1 - Chong animates the cafe's supply of plastic forks to attack the heroes.
  • Sand in My Eyes - Trixie was not crying, she just had something in her eyes.
  • Sanity Slippage - This happens to Vinyl Scratch after believing that she is unable to get together a good piece of music, so she in turn, enlists Spike's help to go and steal some music from Octavia instead.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here - As Chong's downed ship is being attacked, Trixie who was asked to help out, instead, just takes off instead of helping to defend the downed ship.

Trixie: Trixie didn't sign up for this

  • Sealed Evil in a Can - This happens to Roze in the third RP, Pandora traps her in her box.
  • Sentient Vehicle - Living vehicles start to appear in the later arc of the third roleplay.
  • Shout-Out - Pandora and the box she had summoned fourth once so far, is based off the same mythological figure, Pandora, and the box she was left to guard, Pandora's Box, however, she also has the element of being created as well, much like the God of War version.
    • In the third RP, Zachary says "into the gates of hell" and Deimos replies "we move forward unto dawn" when Chong's forces are preparing to occupy Surf Point. Zachary's line references the lyrics of Primo Victoria by Sabaton and Deimos's quote references UNSC starship Forward Unto Dawn.
    • In the 4th RP, Pinkie Pie makes an off-handed comment about a certain fanfic that she had apparantly read online.
  • Stealth Hi Bye - Pinkie Pie pulls this on Aimee just before their duel. Aimee has no clue as to how Pinkie Pie even did that either.
  • The Cameo - Being on the pony planet in the 4th RP, there have been a few cameos from the ponies around including Spitfire, Lyra, Granny Smith and Big Macintosh.
  • Suffer the Slings - The Great Valley dinosaurs in the third RP also use slings...to launch explosively charged rocks.
  • Third Person Person - Trixie returns again and is seen speaking like this.
  • This Is Sparta - A light version of it happens.

Zoe: Let...him...go...