Father Neptune/Quotes

Captain Seymour Bligh: (over speaker) Welcome to Day 718 of our voyage. First off, in an attempt to preserve water, you will not be given any water. (crew groans) And also, because of a sketch of myself having romantic congress with a mer-man (shows the offending picture) I am dumping all your mail from home into the sea. (Willie does so) And I can assure you that there were cookies in there. Good cookies, the kind only a loving mother or Milhouse's father could bake.

Second Officer Milhouse: My father's alive?

Seymour Bligh: No, he died while baking. It's all in the letter.

—The Whine-Bar Sea in "The Wettest Stories Ever Told," The Simpsons