Dr. Jerk/Quotes

"I became a doctor for the same four reasons everybody does; chicks, money, power, and chicks."

—Dr. Percival "Perry" Cox, Scrubs

"Hey, Wilson! I'm gonna go cut some cripple's eye out! Wanna come watch?"

—Dr. Gregory House, House

"In the words of the philosopher Scepturn, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?"

—Dr. James "Mossy" Lawn, Night Watch

Patient's father: How can you treat someone without meeting them?
House: It's easy if you don't give a crap about them.

—House

"Would you like a second opinion? You are also ugly!"

—The Medic, Team Fortress 2

Q: What's the difference between God and a surgeon?
A: God doesn't think he's a surgeon.

—Traditional pre-op joke.