Asshole Victim/Quotes

"Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in Hell!"

—Carl Lee Hailey, A Time to Kill

"I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner."

—Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs

"Hostages only work if your enemy cares if they live."

—Commander Shepard, Mass Effect 2

"I hope at least they were jerks."

—Gordon Freeman, Freeman's Mind, after accidentally killing two guys.

"So I started asking myself who would want to take these guys out. And you know the first person that came to mind? Me."

—Debra Morgan, Dexter

"Well, he's a sleazebag, so he's gonna die in the next thirty seconds."

—Film Brain on Cobra

"I - I know it's wrong, but I'm liking our killer better than our victim."

—Lance Sweets, Bones

"They had it coming!
They had it coming!
They had it coming all along!
I didn't do it,
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?"

—Chicago, The Cell Block Tango

"And it turns out he was a missing person that nobody missed at all."

—The Dixie Chicks, "Goodbye, Earl"

"Let's face it, Captain. Killing Jensen was a public service."

—Detective Stabler, Law and Order Special Victims Unit

"A man well hated, and in so short a space."

—Hugh Beringar, The Raven in the Foregate, which turns out to be a subversion as it was not murder but divine judgment.

My doctor recommends a diet high in questionable moral fiber! It aids digestion!

—Aylee, Sluggy Freelance

Bun-bun: ... And what the hell am I gonna do now with monkeys trained to viciously attack anyone holding eleven items?
Shopping man: Eleven items? So what?!?
Bun-bun: Excuse me?
Shopping man: I know this is the ten items or less lane and I have eleven items. Well, tough crap. I'm too important to wait. You want to call a manager, we'll see about health violations in letting pets in a food store!
Shopping woman before him: (grinning) I have eleven items and I'm gonna pay in nickels, some of which I think are pennies, so you're all going to wait! Stupid kids!
Cashier: BONK! (slams her head into the register)
Bun-bun: The monkeys are still in the cage out on the bench?
Kiki: I think so, and...
Bun-bun: Get them. (happily) And get comfortable, we may be sticking around here all day!

— Sluggy Freelance 2007.01.19

Chief Wyatt Rash: Tell me something Cubby, you notice anything odd lately?
Cubby: You mean other than the fact that no one seems to care about this woman's death?
Chief Wyatt Rash: Along those lines.
Cubby: Hell Wyatt, I've seen people more upset over losing change in a candy machine.

—Drowning Mona

"If you wanna be profound,
And you really gotta justify,
Take a breath and look around,
A lot of folks deserve to die!"

—Audrey II, Little Shop of Horrors

"Yeah, you're special! But don't be bossy! If you keep it up, you'll end up like that guy in that movie who bossed people around, and then zombies ate him. He deserved it!"

—Lilo, Lilo & Stitch: The Series, "627"

"If you're gonna spend all that time setting up some douchebag, he needs to die horribly."

—Mike Mattei on Python

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