View source for Ask a Stupid Question

{{trope}}
[[File:snappyanswer 4136.png|link=Mad Magazine|frame]]
{{quote|''"I see this guy Marty tryin' to carry a big ol' sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I, I say to him, I say 'Hey, you want me to help you with that?' And Marty, he just [[Sarcasm Mode|rolls his eyes]] and goes '''Noooo''', [[Be Careful What You Wish For|I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!]]'
''[[Literal-Minded|So I did.]]"''|'''[["Weird Al" Yankovic]]''', ''Albuquerque''}}

Are you reading [[All The Tropes]]? Are you reading a Trope Page? Are you reading the intro to a Trope Page? Well, you must know about Stupid Questions then, cause we just asked three of the stupidest!

You know how obnoxious [[Captain Obvious]] can be. You just want to yell at them and say, "Any blind idiot can tell what's going on!" But then there are those [[Captain Obvious|Captains Obvious]] who can not only tell what is going on, but ask a stupid question ''just to verify.''

This is not only when that question is asked, but to the frustrated individual this is their chance to strike back with a non-sequitur, either in a [[Deadpan Snarker]] retort or full on [[Mind Screw]] confusion. In other words, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer. A specific variation of [[Sarcasm Mode]].

While examples on this page are of [[In-Universe]] instances of this type of exchange, this is certainly a staple of [[MSTing]] by pointing out where people are being oblivious to their dialogue (or [[Parrot Exposition|being repetitive in them]]). For example: [[The Mummy Trilogy|"This is a map to Hammunaptra."]] "''The'' Hammunaptra?" "No, the one in Jersey."

[[Bill Engvall]]'s "Here's Your Sign" routine was dedicated to these exchanges. [[Mad Magazine]] also had a section called [[Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions]] written by Al Jaffee.

Of course, if you decide to avert the inevitable sarcastic retort by ''not'' seeking explicit confirmation that your friend with the house full of boxes is actually moving, nine times out of ten it will turn out (after a generous helping of [[Poor Communication Kills]]) that he is just having the house fumigated.

An attempt to maneuver someone into asking a stupid question for the purpose of delivering a snappy answer is [[What's a Henway?]] When the stupid answer is, in fact, correct, it's [[Don't Be Ridiculous]].

{{examples}}
== Comic Books ==
* [[Peter David]] likes these. For example, this exchange from ''Madrox'', after Jamie was knocked unconscious and has now woken up, clearly in the same room with the same people:
{{quote|'''Jamie Madrox:''' How long was I out?
'''Guido Carousella:''' Seventeen years. The US was bought by the Swiss. The new national bird's the cuckoo, but the chocolate's better. }}

== Fan Works ==
* In ''[[Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality]]'', there are a number of cases:
** "Seriously, who reads this stuff?" "You."
** When told that [[Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (novel)|a sixth-year Gryffindor had deliberately cast a Dark curse on a sixth-year Slytherin - a curse he knew nothing about except that it was "for enemies"]] - Harry is unable to stop himself from asking "Are you serious?" No, Quirrell is in a bad mood today for no reason.
** When {{spoiler|Bellatrix Black}} incredulously says "I'm... alive...?", Harry is tempted to say "no" just to see how she reacts.
* In ''[[Through a Looking Glass Darkly]]'', Jack provides some choice answers.
{{quote|'''Jellybean:''' Did you have that on you the entire time?
'''Jack:''' No, I teleported back to the Looking Glass while we were running from the Jabberwock and stole it then. }}
* ''[[Dragon Ball Abridged]]'' episode 14: Freeza and his thugs are attacking the Namekian village holding one of the planet's Dragon Balls.
{{quote|'''Namekian:''' What do you want from us? Why are you slaughtering our people?
'''[[Little Kuriboh|Freeza]]:''' Well, you see, I was just in the area and I thought this would be a delightful place for a summer home... -- What the '''f*ck''' do you think I'm here for?
'''Namekian:''' [[Too Dumb to Live|Our trees]]?
'''Freezza:''' ''([[Beat]])'' Zarbon, [kill] two or three more. }}
* ''[[Undocumented Features]]'':  In [http://www.eyrie-productions.com/UF/FI/OOTR/TXT/12-federation/ch9.html chapter nine] of ''The Federation Lives Forever'', there is this exchange when [[K-On!|Yui Hirasawa and Azusa Nakano]] spot a [[Avatar: The Last Airbender|sky bison]] in the yard of the Hirasawa home:
{{quote|"... Senpai, why is there a sky bison in your yard?" asked Azusa, her voice flat.
"He's too big to go in the house, silly," Yui replied cheerfully.
"... Ask a stupid question," Azusa remarked, mostly to herself.}}

== Films -- Animation ==
* Occurs twice in ''[[Who Framed Roger Rabbit?]]'', both times with the title character talking to Benny the Cab: "Benny, is that you?" "No, it's Eleanor Roosevelt!", and later "No, it's Shirley Temple!"
* From ''[[Chicken Run]]'':
{{quote|'''Mr. Tweedy:''' What is it?
'''Mrs. Tweedy:''' It's a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.
'''Mr. Tweedy:''' Ooh, what kind of pies?
'''Mrs. Tweedy:''' Apple.
'''Mr. Tweedy:''' [[Sarcasm Blind|My favourite!]]
'''Mrs. Tweedy:''' ''Chicken'' pies, you great lummox! }}

== Films -- Live-Action ==
* In the Flemish movie ''Moscow, Belgium'', Matty is calling to her daughter from the bathroom.
{{quote|'''Vera:''' Mom, are you taking a bath?
'''Matty:''' No, I'm getting a massage from a big black guy. }}
* Then there's this exchange in ''[[Analyze This]]'':
{{quote|'''Paul Vitti:''' I couldn't get it up last night.
'''Ben Sobel:''' You mean sexually?
'''Paul Vitti:''' No, I mean for the big game against Michigan State. Of course sexually!  }}
** From the sequel:
{{quote|'''Jelly''': Can you handle [a gun]?
'''Ben''': What, you mean shoot it?
'''Jelly''': No, twirl it like a fuckin' baton. }}
* ''[[His Girl Friday]]'':
{{quote|'''Reporter:''' What, Hildy, you still here?
'''Hildy:''' No, I'm in Niagara Falls. }}
* ''[[Kiss Kiss Bang Bang]]'' is absolutely ''ridden'' with this trope, coming from several characters, though it's a particular specialty of Gay Perry. For example, after Harry finds a corpse dumped in his room:
{{quote|'''Perry:''' OK, first thing's first: we gotta move her somewhere. You got gloves?
'''Harry:''' Excuse me?
'''Perry:''' Gloves, do you have gloves? We have to move her. If it's a frame-up, some asshole's probably calling the cops on you right now. Do this: wrap up the body, in a blanket, a sheet, anything.
'''Harry:''' OK, uh... any particular kind of gloves?
'''Perry:''' Yes... fawn. ''Will you fucking hurry?'' }}
* In ''[[Jingle All the Way]]'':
{{quote|'''Fake Santa:''' That'll be 200.
'''Howard:''' ... dollars?
'''Fake Santa:''' No, chocolate kisses. Yes, dollars! }}
* In ''[[Splash]]'', John Candy informed [[Tom Hanks]] that they would be attending a dinner with the President.
{{quote|'''Hanks:''' The president of what?
'''Candy:''' The president of the Three Stooges fan club. The President of the United States! }}
* In ''Live Free or [[Die Hard]]'', John McClane pulls off a particularly badass stunt to throw off his pursuers while protecting [[The Cracker|Matt Farrell]]
{{quote|'''Farrell:''' Did you ''see that!?''
'''<nowiki>McClane:</nowiki>''' Yeah, I saw it, I ''did'' it! }}
* The Dude of ''[[The Big Lebowski]]'' is a master of this.
{{quote|'''Treehorn's Thug:''' ''(holding a bowling ball)'' What's this?
'''The Dude:''' Obviously, you're not a golfer. }}
* A conversation about Dottie's husband in ''[[A League of Their Own]]'':
{{quote|'''Jimmy Dugan:''' Does he know how good you are?
'''Dottie Hinson''': Bob?
'''Jimmy Dugan''': No, Hitler. Yes, Bob. }}
*In [[The Ringer]] Steve(Jeffy) walks in to his room and sees his roommate at the computer:
{{quote|'''Steve(Jeffy)''': So you, uh, workin' on the computer there?
'''Billy''': No, I'm walking my dog.}}

== Literature ==
* ''[[The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy (novel)|The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy]]''
** Zaphod is asked if he's THE Zaphod Beeblebrox. "No, just a Zaphod Beeblebrox. Haven't you heard, we come in six packs?".
** Zaphod does this a lot, but it's especially heavy in that episode. Right after that:
{{quote|'''Receptionist:''' But sir, I umm, it was on the sub-ether radio this morning, er... it... er... said you were dead.
'''Zaphod:''' Yeah that's right, I just haven't stopped moving yet.
'''Roosta:''' Beeblebrox! Over here!
'''Zaphod:''' No, Beeblebrox over here. Who are you?
'''Roosta:''' A friend.
'''Zaphod:''' Oh yeah? Anyone's friend in particular or just generally well disposed to people? }}
* ''[[Animorphs]]'', during a time-travel scenario involving [[George Washington]] crossing the Delaware:
{{quote|'''Rachel:''' No way. ''George'' Washington?
'''Marco:''' Jake, tell her, "No, ''Guido'' Washington."
'''Jake:''' Marco would like me to pass along a sarcastic remark. }}
* In ''Magic Strikes'', [[Kate Daniels]] is in a strange kitchen trying to make coffee, only someone has rearranged all the labels on the containers so she can't find anything.
{{quote|"Looking for something?" Dali came up from the hallway.
"No, I'm dancing the can-can." Ask a dumb question...
Dali blinked at me. "Would you mind making coffee while you're dancing? I smell it on the bottom shelf, either first or second jar on the left." }}
* [[Sherlock Holmes|Sherlock Holmes's]] ''War of the Worlds'': Sherlock Holmes tells Dr. Watson how one of the invading machines was going after him. Watson exclaims "And you escaped!", to which Holmes replies "No, Watson. I was caught and killed by the machines."
* ''[[Welkin Weasels]]: Heastward Ho!''
{{quote|"Catching up on our reading, are we?"
"No, I'm trying to burn a hole through paper with my retina." }}
* In the [[Agatha Christie]] novel ''Why Didn't They Ask Evans?'', a boy comes across a scene with a wrecked car whose front-end is smashed into a stone wall with an injured woman hanging halfway out of the car. The boy asks, "Has there been an accident?" prompting another character to say, "No, the lady ran her car into the wall on purpose."  {{spoiler|Though as a matter of fact, [[Sarcastic Confession|the lady did run her car into the wall on purpose.]] }}
* ''[[The Dark Tower]]'' book ''[[The Dark Tower/Wizard and Glass|Wizard and Glass]]'' has a villain ask his second-in-command how many of their men are armed. The second asks, "With guns?" prompting the villain to reply, "No, with pea-blowers, you damned fool."
* Referenced but averted in the ''[[Discworld]]'' short story "The Sea and Little Fishes". When Granny Weatherwax is [[We Want Our Jerk Back|trying to be "nice"]], Nanny is surprised to see her looking at a pink cardigan. Nanny's reaction is "You're not going to wear that, are you?" She would have been reassured to get the reply "No, I'm going to eat it, you daft old fool", but instead Granny just says "You don't think it would suit me?"
* From ''[[Rivers of London]]'', when Peter compares magic to jazz:
{{quote|'''Peter:''' You know how jazz is all about improvising on a melody?
'''Lesley:''' No, I thought it was when you sang about cheese and tying up people's gaiters. }}

== Live-Action TV ==
* From ''[[Corner Gas]]'' when Brent walks into Oscar and Emma's living room while they're putting up Christmas decorations:
{{quote|'''Brent:''' Whoa, what are you doing?
'''Emma:''' We're building a haunted house for Halloween. }}
* ''[[House (TV series)|House]]''
** The title character is of course a repeat offender:
{{quote|'''Cuddy:''' Chase and Cameron are together?
'''House:''' If by "together" you mean "having sex in the janitors closet" then yeah!
'''Cuddy:''' The janitors closet here?
'''House:''' No, the one at the local high school. Go Tigercats!  }}
** And in "House Divided", when he comes into the O.R. wearing [[Cool Shades]] and holding a boombox playing "[[Public Enemy|Fight the Power]]":
{{quote|'''Foreman:''' What are you doing?
'''House:''' What does it look like I'm doing? I'm fighting the power. }}
** In "Euphoria":
{{quote|'''House:''' There's a bullet in his head.
'''Cameron:''' He was shot?!
'''House:''' ... No, somebody threw it at him. }}
* ''[[The Golden Girls]]''
** Dorothy is ''made'' of this kind of sarcasm.
{{quote|'''Dorothy:''' Have you ever given a eulogy?
'''Rose:''' You mean at a funeral?
'''Dorothy:''' No, Rose, at a pie-eating contest! }}
** One memorable incident has Rose give it back.
{{quote|'''Dorothy:''' ''(seeing Rose coming out of her room with a bucket in each hand)'' Oh Rose. Is your roof leaking too?
'''Rose:''' No Dorothy. I just finished milking the cow I keep in my closet. Gee with only three hours sleep I can be as bitchy as you! }}
** Another Dorothy moment:
{{quote|'''Dorothy:''' It's dirty dancing, just like in that movie.
'''Rose:''' What movie?
'''Dorothy:''' ''Lawrence of Arabia'', Rose. }}
* From the ''[[Frasier]]'' episode, "Martin Does it His Way":
{{quote|'''Frasier:''' Roz, that was quite a flattering description. Just out of curiosity, were you just helping that lady with her fantasy, or do you really see me that way?
'''Roz:''' You really don't know, do you? Frasier, I am so attracted to you. I always have been. Your looks, your voice, you don't know how many times I've wanted to strip naked and hurl myself at that glass partition like a bug on a windshield.
'''Frasier:''' Are you through?
'''Roz:''' ''([[Dope Slap|bopping him on the head]])'' Well, ask a stupid question! }}
* ''[[The West Wing]]''
** Repeatedly on , mainly by C.J. in response to moronic press questions, but everyone else as well:
{{quote|'''Mandy:''' Who was the last president to commute a [death] sentence?
'''Josh:''' Lincoln.
'''Mandy:''' ''(surprised)'' Abraham?
'''Josh:''' No, ''Burt'' Lincoln. }}
** And another:
{{quote|'''C.J.:''' There's an article I want you to read in the New Yorker.
'''Josh:''' What's it about?
'''C.J.:''' Smallpox.
'''Josh:''' The disease?
'''C.J.:''' No, the dessert topping, Josh. Yes, the disease!  }}
* ''[[iCarly]]''
** In "iQuit iCarly", Spencer enters singing and dancing with joy:
{{quote|'''Spencer:''' I won the boat! I won the boat! I won the boooat!
'''Carly:''' You won the boat?
'''Spencer:''' [[Deadpan Snarker|No.]] Yes! }}
** And also this:
{{quote|'''Carly:''' iCarly.
'''Freddie:''' Our webshow?
'''Sam:''' No, our potato farm! }}
** And this:
{{quote|'''Carly:''' What's the temperature in here?
'''Spencer:''' Seventy-two!
'''Carly:''' Turn the heat up to ninety!
'''Spencer:''' Ninety degrees?
'''Sam:''' No, ninety pickles! Yes ninety degrees!  }}
* ''[[NCIS]]'': None of the photographs were picked up by Abby's facial recognition software.
{{quote|'''McGee:''' You ran ''all'' the faces?
'''Abby:''' No. Halfway through, I was just like "screw this!" and I quit. }}
* ''[[Buffy the Vampire Slayer]]''
** In one episode, Dawn finds her sister sitting on her bed, reading a magazine and asks:
{{quote|'''Dawn:''' What are you doing?
'''Buffy:''' Playing soccer. }}
** In the episode "When She Was Bad":
{{quote|'''Xander:''' Hey, did you guys hear that Cibo Matto is going to be at the Bronze tonight?
'''Willow:''' Cibo Matto? They're playing?
'''Xander:''' No, Will, they're going to be clog dancing.
'''Willow:''' Cibo Matto can clog dance? }}
* Used epically in an episode of ''[[3rd Rock from the Sun]]'', after Dick learned his girlfriend slept with his nemesis Dr. Strudwick once.
{{quote|'''Dick:''' I can't get his face out of my mind!
'''Nina:''' Strudwick's?
'''Dick:''' ''(serene voice)'' No, Nina, little Davey Tenant, the boy down the block. You see, ever since Davey was three years old, he's wanted more than anything to see a real professional baseball game. He wished the biggest wish his little heart could muster. But his dad was laid off and couldn't afford the tickets. Well, one day last week, little Davey was outside playing ball like he always does, and who should walk up the block, tall as a building, but home run king Mark McGwire. To see little Davey's face light up as Mc Gwire handed him four seats on the first base line, well, it's something that I will never forget. ''(pause)'' YES, STRUDWICK'S! DON'T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS! }}
* ''[[Friends]]''
** In one episode, Joey is upset at his co-star Wayne, who is about to have him fired:
{{quote|'''Wayne:''' Joey, I'll get you your job back if you help me out.
'''Joey:''' Why should I help you out?
'''Chandler:''' ... the reason he just said? }}
** Chandler did this a lot. After calling his [[Girl of the Week]]:
{{quote|'''Chandler:''' I got her machine.
'''Joey:''' Her answering machine?
'''Chandler:''' No, interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up. }}
** When they're playing poker and Rachel wants to leave:
{{quote|'''Chandler:''' Rach, Rach, we gotta settle.
'''Rachel:''' Settle what?
'''Chandler:''' The Jamestown colony of Virginia. You see, King George is giving us the land so... }}
* In ''[[Sherlock]]'', after the police find a dead woman who has scratched "RACHE" into the floorboards with her fingernails:
{{quote|'''Lestrade:''' So she was writing 'Rachel'?
'''Sherlock:''' No, [[Mythology Gag|she was writing an angry note in German]]. Of COURSE she was writing Rachel! }}
** To those who have read the original ''[[Sherlock Holmes]]'' short story upon which this episode is based (''A Study in Scarlet''), this is a gloriously subversive application of this trope—since in the story,  {{spoiler|the police believe they are looking for a "Rachel" before Holmes points out that "Rache" is German for "Revenge"}}, which proves decisive.
* In ''[[The Jack Benny Program]]'', Jack can't get a busy receptionist to talk to him, so he calls her from one of the other phones on her desk. She says Mr. Lewis isn't available, but she can have him call Jack back...
{{quote|'''Receptionist:''' Are you at home, or are in you in Palm Springs?
'''Jack:''' I'm in Stockholm! Smorgasbord, 8321! }}
* ''[[Doctor Who]]''
** "Amy's Choice":
{{quote|'''Dream Lord:''' If you die in the dream world, you wake up in reality. [...] Ask me what happens if you die in reality.
'''Rory:''' What happens if you die in reality?
'''Dream Lord:''' You ''die'', stupid, that's why it's called reality. }}
** Later in "Let's Kill Hitler":
{{quote|'''Rory:''' Okay, I'm trapped inside a giant robot replica of my wife. I'm really trying not to see this as a metaphor.
'''Amy:''' How can we be in here? How do we fit?
'''Rory:''' Miniaturization Ray.
'''Amy:''' How would you know that?
'''Rory''': Well, there was a ray, and we were miniaturized. }}
** In ''The Shakespearian Code''
{{quote|'''Martha:''' (thinking about Harry Potter) You mean the films?
'''Tenth Doctor:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|No, the Novelization.]] }}
* ''[[Red Dwarf]]'' :
{{quote|'''Rimmer:''' Lister, is that a cigarette you're smoking?
'''Lister:''' No, it's a chicken. }}

== Magazines ==
* There was one issue of ''[[Playboy]]'' where a man wrote into their advice page asking how to respond to people who asked if his girlfriend had implants, adding “Should I deny the obvious?” 
{{quote|'''Reply:''' If it's obvious, why are the asking? Probably the best response would be, “Ask her yourself, [[Double Entendre| she's used to dealing with big boobs]].”}}

== Music ==
* The song "Foolish Questions".
* Referenced (although not a true example of the trope) in [[Tom Lehrer]]'s "New Math" while explaining how to solve a math problem in Base Eight:
{{quote|''Now instead of four in the eights place
''You've got three, 'cause you added one,
''That is to say, eight, to the two,
''But you can't take seven from three,
''So you look at the sixty-fours.
''"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry.
''Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see?
''Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.'' }}

== Newspaper Comics ==
* ''[[Garfield (Comic Strip)|Garfield]]''
** When Jon first meets Liz:
{{quote|'''Jon:''' By the way there, doc, what's your name?
'''Liz:''' Liz.
'''Jon:''' Gee, what a pretty name. Is that short for Elizabeth?
'''Liz:''' No. It's short for lizard. }}
:* In another strip:
{{quote|'''Jon:''' Are you going to sleep all day, Garfield?
'''Garfield:''' Let me check my social calendar. Let's see... There's high tea with the Queen of England tomorrow, but nothing today. ''(falls asleep)''
'''Jon:''' Ask a stupid question... }}
* ''Don't Some People Ask the Biggest Fool Questions?'' uses this trope extensively. In one example, Gerald is building a dog house:
{{quote|'''Man walking by:''' Hello, Gerald, building a dog house?
'''Gerald:''' No, I'm up in a balloon milking a chicken. }}
* ''[[Peanuts]]'': 
** In one strip, Charlie Brown is watching Snoopy (as "Joe Motocross") finish a race:
{{quote|'''Charlie Brown:''' What happened Joe? You were really smoking. Did you miss a turn?
''Cut to Snoopy, limping, dragging part of a fence on his leg.''
'''Snoopy:''' No, I always wear this snow fence around my leg!}}
:* In one old series of Sunday strips, some birds build a nest on Snoopy’s doghouse, requiring him to vacate and sleep on the mailbox until the baby birds hatch. In the second part, he goes to check on them, and is astounded to see they have, indeed, hatched.
{{quote|'''Snoopy:''' Fantastic! I wonder if they’re hungry?
''(Looks very close, and the baby birds both try to eat his nose.)''
'''Snoopy:''' I think they’re hungry!}}
:* In one strip, Linus is watching Charlie Brown fly a kite (which as fans of the strip know, he has ''never'' been able to successfully do):
{{quote|'''Linus:''' Charlie Brown, once you have a kite in the air, do you ever have a problem getting it down again?
''(Charlie Brown loses control of the kite and it crashes with the impact of a missile.)''
'''Charlie Brown:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|''That’s'' one problem I’ve never had to worry about]].}}

* [[Popeye]]'s ''very first spoken line'' from a 1929 ''[[Thimble Theater]]'' strip occurred in an arc where Castor Oyl (Olive's brother and the original protagonist) was looking for a crew for his ship (in case you don't know how Popeye tends to dress, by the way, it's doubtful he'd be mistaken for anything but a sailor):
{{quote|'''Castor Oyl:''' Hey, are you a sailor?
'''Popeye:''' Ja think I'm a cowboy?}}

== Puppet Shows ==
* Used in ''Muppets in Space'', when Gonzo sits upright in bed quickly, accidentally launching Rizzo the Rat out the window.
{{quote|'''Gonzo:''' ''(hearing Rizzo climbing back in)'' Is that you, Rizzo?
'''Rizzo:''' No, it's Santa. I forgot my reindeer. }}

== Recorded and Stand Up Comedy ==
* While the overall premise of [[Bill Engvall]]'s recurring "Here's Your Sign" routine is that stupid people should wear signs advertising the fact, his experiences in encountering people who qualify often take this form.

== Tabletop Games ==
* ''[[Paranoia (game)|Paranoia]]'' supplement "Acute Paranoia", adventure "Outland-ISH". The Troubleshooters try to find out the source of a drug affecting ISH sector by questioning the residents.
{{quote|'''Troubleshooter:''' How did all these people get drugged?
'''Drugged Citizen:''' They drank the water. Snrfff.
'''Troubleshooter:''' The drug is in the water?
'''Drugged Citizen:''' Sklaxxl. No, the drug is on the inside of the cups! Of course it's in the water. Hrraww. }}

== Web Animation ==
* ''[[Red vs. Blue]]'':
{{quote|'''Church-in-Sarge's-body:''' Uhh... Who ya talking to red? Me?
'''Grif:''' No, I'm talking to Lopez, because, you know, that's real rewarding. }}
::And another one...
{{quote|'''Grif:''' Fuck off, Blue, a ship just crashed on one of our guys.
'''Church:''' What, this ship?
'''Simmons:''' No, another ship, then that ship left and this ship crashed in the exact same spot. }}
::The classic one...
{{quote|'''Donut:''' What state were you named after?
'''Tex'''(after Texas): Nevada. }}

== Web Comics ==
* In ''[[Holiday Wars]]'', "Ask a Stupid Question" is personified as a character who only speaks with stupid questions. An example of this [http://www.holiday-wars.com/blog/2010/09/17/episode-64/ can be seen here.]{{Dead link}}
* ''[[Penny Arcade (Webcomic)|Penny Arcade]]''
** [http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/3/13/ Does he ever find his skull?]
** Also, ''[[The Time Machine]]'' — "[http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/2/5/ What's it about?]"
* ''[[The Order of the Stick]]'': Elan asks ''a lot'' of stupid questions to which Roy gives snarky answers.
* In an ''[[Arthur, King of Time and Space]]'' strip, Merlin responds to Lancelot's "Do you think this is wise?" with "Why, no. I woke up this morning and decided to do the least wise thing that occured to me."
* ''Triggerhappy'' from Kukuruyo answers "[https://www.kukuruyo.com/comic/where-are-her-organs-2/ Where are her organs?]".
* ''[[xkcd]]'', [https://xkcd.com/852/ "Local g"]: "Crap! How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?"

== Web Original ==
* ''[[(The Customer is) Not Always Right]]''. Good God.
{{quote|([http://notalwaysright.com/must-be-super-baked in a bakery], to a guy bent over confectionaries, decorating them, who wears uniform and apron): Excuse me! Do you work in the bakery? }}
** The most common (in multitude of variants) question:
{{quote|[http://notalwaysright.com/talking-turkey-about-tofu Is there turkey in the turkey sandwich?”]}}
** They came to ''[http://notalwaysright.com/the-route-of-shared-pain expect]'' stupid questions:
{{quote|'''Me''': Hi, I wanted to ask about these wireless routers.
'''Employee''': *suddenly looking scared* …Yes? }}
* And in a similar vein, [http://community.livejournal.com/customers_suck/29221674.html this post] from the [[LiveJournal]] community "customers_suck".

== Western Animation ==
* A backwards example where Skipper gets sick of a stupid answer and returns with a stupid ''question'' happens in ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'', Sting Operation.
{{quote|'''Skipper:''' What do you make of it, Kowalski?
'''Kowalski:''' I'm not sure, Skipper. It could be ''anything.''
'''Skipper:''' Oh really? Could it be Alaska?
'''Kowalski:''' No, it's probably not -
'''Skipper:''' Are you saying Alaska might be stuck upside down to the clock tower of my zoo?
'''Kowalski:''' I guess -
'''Skipper:''' Because I think people would notice if the entire state of Alaska just... packed up and... moved to the zoo!
'''Kowalski:''' All right, maybe it couldn't be ''anything!'' }}
* ''[[Justice League Unlimited]]''
** Solomon Grundy gives Superman a [[No-Holds-Barred Beatdown]] that involves—among other things—punching him through several buildings, smashing him between two cars, and tossing him through the supports of a suspension bridge. After that last one, Superman climbs out onto a pier, not only bruised and battered but dripping wet as well, and:
{{quote|'''Green Lantern:''' You okay?
''([[Beat]])''
'''Superman:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|Do I]] ''[[Sarcasm Mode|look]]'' [[Sarcasm Mode|okay?]] }}
::: Although in fairness to Green Lantern, [[Depending on the Writer|sometimes]] Superman will just shrug that off like it's nothing.
:* A variant when Batman and GL are chasing a villain through a time tunnel:
{{quote|'''Green Lantern:''' No-one can see the beginning of time! [[And That's Terrible|It's a universal law!]]
'''Batman:''' [[Deadpan Snarker|Write him a ticket!]] }}
* In the ''Elefun and Friends'' short "A Tangled Tale", Elefun follows a kite string all the way to China, where he and his friends see a panda trying to launch herself across a river [[Tree Buchet|using a piece of bamboo]]. The bamboo gets stuck halfway, leaving her dangling and leading to this conversation:
{{quote|'''Elefun:''' Whatcha doing?
'''Panda:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|Sipping tea]]. What does it look like I'm doing?
'''Spin:''' Sinking.
'''Pandarama:''' Who asked you? }}
* ''[[Jimmy Two-Shoes]]'', Beezy on Heloise's new machine:
{{quote|'''Beezy:''' What is this, dandruff?
'''Heloise:''' Yeah, I made a machine that makes dandruff. '''It's snow!''' }}
* A [[Running Gag]] in ''[[Danny Phantom]]'' would be one of the characters falling, being attacked, thrown or mauled. Cue someone else asking uselessly:
{{quote|"Are you okay?"
''([[Beat|stares]])''
"Sorry, standard question." }}
* Happens twice in quick succession in the ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic]]'' episode "Over a Barrel":
{{quote|'''Rainbow Dash:''' Pinkie Pie, you asleep yet?
'''Pinkie Pie:''' No. Are you asleep yet?
'''Rainbow Dash:''' If I was sleeping, how could I have asked you if you were asleep?
'''Pinkie Pie:''' Oh yeah. ''(giggles)''
'''Rainbow Dash:''' When we get to Appleloosa, you think we'll have to carry that heavy tree all the way from the train to the orchard?
'''Pinkie Pie:''' What tree? You mean Bloomberg?
'''Rainbow Dash:''' [[Sarcasm Mode|No, Fluttershy]].
'''Pinkie Pie:''' [[Sarcasm Blind|Fluttershy's not a tree, silly]]. }}
* ''[[Animaniacs]]'', episode "Temporary Insanity". The Warners are fighting to answer the phone first, causing Mr. Plotz's office (and Mr. Plotz himself) to be wrapped in a telephone cord.
{{quote|'''Mr. Plotz:''' When will all this insanity end?!
'''Dot:''' When one of us answers the phone, silly.
'''Mr. Plotz:''' I did not know that. }}
* From ''[[Beast Wars]]:''
{{quote|'''Cheetor, recently having gotten a flying [[Mid-Season Upgrade]] he's itching to use:''' You mean fly?
'''Rattrap:''' No, I mean take a submarine. ''Of course I mean fly!'' }}
* From ''[[Rocky and Bullwinkle]]'':
{{quote|'''Natasha:''' Boris, did you get blown up by your own bomb again?
'''Boris:''' No, I'm up here robbing bird's nests!
'''Natasha:''' But why?
'''Boris:''' It keeps me off the streets, that's why! About six feet off. }}
:* That last one downplays it, as he isn't being sarcastic, just rueful.
* The animated [[Punky Brewster]] episode "Growing Pain" has Glomer growing in size due to an allergy to pepperoni pizza. He is taken to a gym where he attempts to use a weights machine but is catapulted back and wedged within the bars of the machine:
{{quote|'''Punky:''' Glomer, are you okay?
'''Glomer:''' (''not too pleased'') Am I looking okay?! }}
* From ''[[BoJack Horseman]]'':
{{quote|'''Todd:''' Are you drunk?
'''BoJack:'''Todd, I'm a [[Funny Animal| twelve-hundred pound horse!]] It takes a ''lot'' of beer to get someone like me drunk!
''(Zoom out, showing dozens of empty beer cans around them in the room.)''
'''BoJack:''' [[Flat Yes| Yes]].}}
* From the pilot episode of ''[[Amphibia (TV series)|Amphibia]]'', this is used as Sprig's [[Establishing Character Moment]]:
{{quote|'''Hop Pop:''' Polly's got more responsibility in her little flipper that ''you'' have in your entire body!
'''Sprig:''' Ridiculous, what makes you think I'm irresponsible?
'''Hop Pop:''' [[Sarcasm Mode| Oh gee, let me think...]]
''(Cut to [[Flashback]]s showing Sprig causing the contents of a cauldron to explode, crashing through the wall of Hop Pop's bedroom riding an angry [[Mix and Match Critter|snake-cow]], and leaving the lights on in their house, causing giant lightning bugs to attack it.)''
'''Sprig:''' Okay, [[Not Helping Your Case|so yesterday was a bad day...]]}}
* From ''[[The Critic]]'', Jay reviews a movie called ''The Nightmare Before Hanukkah''. The scene in question shows Jack Skellington visiting Hanukkah Town, with the name of the town clearly visible on the town gate, which has dreidels on the posts, the door itself made of marzipan. 
{{quote|'''Jack:''' Excuse me, is this Hanukkah Town?
'''Sarcastic Jewish Guy:''' No, it's the Vatican and I'm Pope Shlomo. Oy!}}
* From ''[[The Real Ghostbusters]]'' episode "Egon on the Rampage": A malfunction with Egon's dimensional portal device causes his soul to become trapped in a hellish dimension, while a demon possesses his body. Eventually, Venkman has to go into said hellish dimension and finds that Egon's soul has been [[Squashed Flat]] and another demon is using him like a trampoline. When Venkman finally manages to grab him and make a beeline back to the portal:
{{quote|'''Peter:''' You okay Egon?
'''Egon:''' Do I ''look'' okay??}}
* From ''[[DC Super Hero Girls]]''; in an episode where a brutal battle between Supergirl and Livewire is broadcast on the news and seems to result in Supergirl's death (she survived, but the public believes otherwise) Kara gets a text from [[Superman| her cousin]] asking if she is dead. She's not in the mood to give a snarky reply and simply replies "No".
* From an episode of ''[[The Life and Times of Juniper Lee]]'' episode "The Great Escape"; while infiltrating a zoo (where the animals are magical beings who have been subjected to [[Baleful Polymorph]]) June is confronted by a guy who she assumes is the zookeeper:
{{quote|'''June:''' Uh, are you the zookeeper?
'''Zookeeper:''' No, I'm a creepy old man who lives with animals and likes the smell of dung.
''(Blank stare from June.)''
'''Zookeeper:''' [[Captain Obvious|''YES'' I'm the zookeeper]]!}}
* In the ''[[Rick and Morty]]'' episode "Jurassic Rick", the super intelligent dinosaurs are holding a keynote address to deal with humans' problems with reduced accountability:
{{quote|'''Brontosaurus:''' I see someone is eager to speak.
'''Guy in audience:''' Uh hi, what do you do when you want to kill yourself?
'''Triceratops:''' You ''don't'' do that, thank you for asking, though, very important.}}

== Real Life ==
* Here is a fun excerpt from the book ''[[Disorder in the American Courts]]'' which goes over things actually said in court:
{{quote|'''Q:''' Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
'''A:''' No. 
'''Q:''' Did you check for blood pressure?
'''A:''' No.
'''Q:''' Did you check for breathing?
'''A:''' No.
'''Q:''' So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
'''A:''' No.
'''Q:''' How can you be so sure, Doctor?
'''A:''' Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
'''Q:''' But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
'''A:''' Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive, practicing law somewhere.}}

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[[Category:Dialogue]]
[[Category:Oh Great a Snark Index]]
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