Wrote the Book: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}} |
{{trope}} |
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{{quote|'''Otto Palindrome:''' Palindrome here sir; sorry to disturb you. |
{{quote|'''Otto Palindrome:''' Palindrome here, sir; sorry to disturb you. |
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'''The Head:''' That's alright. I was just, as usual, thinking. |
'''The Head:''' That's alright. I was just, as usual, thinking. |
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'''Otto Palindrome:''' Sir, we've got a bit of a headache down here. |
'''Otto Palindrome:''' Sir, we've got a bit of a headache down here. |
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'''The Head:''' Don't tell me about headaches Palindrome. |
'''The Head:''' Don't tell me about headaches, Palindrome. |
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'''Otto Palindrome:''' No sir. |
'''Otto Palindrome:''' No, sir. |
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'''The Head:''' I wrote the book on headaches! |
'''The Head:''' I wrote the book on headaches! |
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|''[[Quark]]'', "Pilot"}} |
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A [[Stock Phrase]] commonly used when a character complains or brags about something, to which another character disregards their comment by saying something around the lines of "Don't tell me about that, I [[Wrote the Book On It]]!". There are two distinct contexts in which this gets used: |
A [[Stock Phrase]] commonly used when a character complains or brags about something, to which another character disregards their comment by saying something around the lines of "Don't tell me about that, I [[Wrote the Book On It]]!". There are two distinct contexts in which this gets used: |
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{{examples}} |
{{examples}} |
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== Film == |
== Film == |
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* From the 1974 film ''[[Herbie Rides Again]]'': |
* From the 1974 film ''[[Herbie Rides Again]]'': |
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* From the 1990 film ''[[The Grifters]]'': |
* From the 1990 film ''[[The Grifters]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Lilly Dillon:''' You're working some angle, and don't tell me you're not because I wrote the book!}} |
{{quote|'''Lilly Dillon:''' You're working some angle, and don't tell me you're not because I wrote the book!}} |
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* The "I invented" variation is used in [[The Santa Clause|The Santa Clause 3]]: |
* The "I invented" variation is used in ''[[The Santa Clause (film series)|The Santa Clause 3]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Lucy Miller:''' Okay, okay, chill! |
{{quote|'''Lucy Miller:''' Okay, okay, chill! |
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'''Jack Frost:''' I invented chill! }} |
'''Jack Frost:''' I invented chill! }} |
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* In the film of ''[[L.A. Confidential]]'', when Exley and Bud White go to question the DA, at one point he tells them "Don't pull that [[Good Cop, Bad Cop]] crap on me, I practically invented it." At that point Exley just lets Bud go into full blown [[Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique]]. At the end, after the terrified DA has told them everything he knows, Exley sarcastically asks him if that's how he used to do the good cop/bad cop routine. |
* In the film of ''[[L.A. Confidential]]'', when Exley and Bud White go to question the DA, at one point he tells them "Don't pull that [[Good Cop, Bad Cop]] crap on me, I practically invented it." At that point Exley just lets Bud go into full blown [[Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique]]. At the end, after the terrified DA has told them everything he knows, Exley sarcastically asks him if that's how he used to do the good cop/bad cop routine. |
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* ''[[Discworld]]'': |
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* According to |
** According to ''[[Making Money]]'', this is quite literal for zombie-lawyer Mr. Slant. |
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{{quote|You know those leather-bound tomes you have on the wall behind your desk to impress your clients? I have read them all, and I wrote half of them.}} |
{{quote|You know those leather-bound tomes you have on the wall behind your desk to impress your clients? I have read them all, and I wrote half of them.}} |
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** |
** In ''[[Sourcery]]'', [[Evil Vizier]] Abrim is described with the sentence "He probably wrote the book on dirty tricks, or more probably, stole it from someone else." |
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* Inverted in ''[[ |
* Inverted in ''[[Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (novel)|Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets]]'', when Hagrid complains that Lockhart (who ''did'' write the book on dealing with magical pests<ref>Although not ''the'' book on magical creatures, [[Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them|that was Newt Scamander]].</ref>) insisted on giving him advice despite the fact it wasn't anything he didn't know. |
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* In ''[[Tortall Universe|First Test]]'', [[The Stoic|Keladry]] actually grins when she finds out the textbook on Yamani manners being used in her etiquette class was written by her father, the former Yamani ambassador. When challenged by her instructor, she tells him that [[Serious Business|it's not uncommon to be executed for bowing the wrong way.]] |
* In ''[[Tortall Universe|First Test]]'', [[The Stoic|Keladry]] actually grins when she finds out the textbook on Yamani manners being used in her etiquette class was written by her father, the former Yamani ambassador. When challenged by her instructor, she tells him that [[Serious Business|it's not uncommon to be executed for bowing the wrong way.]] |
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* In the second book of ''[[The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel]]'', Machiavelli uses this. He gets to say not only that he wrote the book, but that he did so four hundred years ago. |
* In the second book of ''[[The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel]]'', Machiavelli uses this. He gets to say not only that he wrote the book, but that he did so four hundred years ago. |
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{{quote|'''Kate O'Hannah:''' New York is the coldest city in the world to be in... when you're alone. |
{{quote|'''Kate O'Hannah:''' New York is the coldest city in the world to be in... when you're alone. |
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'''Sam |
'''Sam McCloud:''' Hey, why don't you tell me about it, I wrote the book. }} |
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* From the episode "The Return of Bigfoot" of ''[[The Six Million Dollar Man]]'': |
* From the episode "The Return of Bigfoot" of ''[[The Six Million Dollar Man]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Col. Steve Austin:''' I don't know. It's... it's like there's something there. I can almost remember, but not quite... it's frustrating. |
{{quote|'''Col. Steve Austin:''' I don't know. It's... it's like there's something there. I can almost remember, but not quite... it's frustrating. |
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'''Jamie Sommers:''' Tell me about it. I'm the one who wrote the book on partial memory, remember? }} |
'''Jamie Sommers:''' Tell me about it. I'm the one who wrote the book on partial memory, remember? }} |
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* From the episode "That's Show Biz" of ''[[ |
* From the episode "That's Show Biz" of ''[[M*A*S*H (television)|M*A*S*H]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce:''' That's right up my alley, I wrote the book on the appendix. I even wrote the appendix, but they took that out.}} |
{{quote|'''Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce:''' That's right up my alley, I wrote the book on the appendix. I even wrote the appendix, but they took that out.}} |
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* From the episode "Revenging Angel" of ''[[Farscape]]'': |
* From the episode "Revenging Angel" of ''[[Farscape]]'': |
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'''Rachel''': Please! I ''invented'' that! }} |
'''Rachel''': Please! I ''invented'' that! }} |
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* In the episode "The Reunion Job" of ''[[Leverage]]'', Larry Duberman (or Doucherman as people called him in high school) wrote the book on Database Security... I mean he literally wrote the book on Database Security. |
* In the episode "The Reunion Job" of ''[[Leverage]]'', Larry Duberman (or Doucherman as people called him in high school) wrote the book on Database Security... I mean he literally wrote the book on Database Security. |
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* The ''[[Community]]'' episode "Competitive Wine Tasting" has a professor who wrote a book on ''[[ |
* The ''[[Community]]'' episode "Competitive Wine Tasting" has a professor who wrote a book on ''[[Who's The Boss?]]''. He then proceeds to try to shoehorn his opinion on Abed, but it turns out Abed knew more then he did. |
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* In the [[Series Finale]] of ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]'', a future Starfleet instructor introduces Admiral Janeway as "the person who, literally, wrote the book on the Borg." |
* In the [[Series Finale]] of ''[[Star Trek: Voyager]]'', a future Starfleet instructor introduces Admiral Janeway as "the person who, literally, wrote the book on the Borg." |
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* "I invented" rather than "wrote the book," but [[Tropes Are Flexible|same principle]]. From ''[[Seinfeld]]'': |
* "I invented" rather than "wrote the book," but [[Tropes Are Flexible|same principle]]. From ''[[Seinfeld]]'': |
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* In ''[[Eureka]]'', Allison literally wrote the book on space medicine... or at least her alternate-universe counterpart did, which is almost as good. (She apparently did all the same research, she just never got around to publishing her thesis.) |
* In ''[[Eureka]]'', Allison literally wrote the book on space medicine... or at least her alternate-universe counterpart did, which is almost as good. (She apparently did all the same research, she just never got around to publishing her thesis.) |
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* ''[[Doctor Who]]'' gives us this gem: |
* ''[[Doctor Who]]'' gives us this gem: |
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{{quote|'''Doctor:''' [[Word Schmord|Gravity, Schmavity!]] My people practically invented black holes. Actually, they did!}} |
{{quote|'''Doctor:''' [[Word, Schmord|Gravity, Schmavity!]] My people practically invented black holes. Actually, they did!}} |
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* [[Elvis Costello]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE "Every Day I Write the Book"] |
* [[Elvis Costello]], [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfFunjzyIsE "Every Day I Write the Book"] |
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== [[Video Games]] == |
== [[Video Games]] == |
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* From ''[[ |
* From ''[[Tatsunoko vs. Capcom]]'', [[Science Ninja Team Gatchaman|Joe The Condor]]'s victory quote against Zero: |
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{{quote|[[Fragile Speedster|You've got speed]], I'll give you that. But your textbook fighting style isn't gonna work on the man who wrote the book!}} |
{{quote|[[Fragile Speedster|You've got speed]], I'll give you that. But your textbook fighting style isn't gonna work on the man who wrote the book!}} |
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* In [[Super Mario 64]], one of the Toads in the castle says that "Bowser wrote the book on bad." |
* In [[Super Mario 64]], one of the Toads in the castle says that "Bowser wrote the book on bad." |
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== [[Web Original]] == |
== [[Web Original]] == |
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* From ''[[Commodore HUSTLE]]'': |
* From ''[[Commodore HUSTLE]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Morgan:''' James, please. When it comes to gay chicken, I practically wrote the book. Remember the groundbreaking assault that was International Cup Bill's Balls Week?}} |
{{quote|'''Morgan:''' James, please. When it comes to gay chicken, I practically wrote the book. Remember the groundbreaking assault that was International Cup Bill's Balls Week?}} |
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* ''[[Girl Genius]]'', after Gil reminds [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080227 Vole] who's the boss: |
* ''[[Girl Genius]]'', after Gil reminds [http://www.girlgeniusonline.com/comic.php?date=20080227 Vole] who's the boss: |
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{{quote|'''Gilgamesh''': My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace. All seven popes ordered it burned.}} |
{{quote|'''Gilgamesh''': My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace. All seven popes ordered it burned.}} |
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== [[Western Animation]] == |
== [[Western Animation]] == |
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* From the episode "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase" of ''[[The Simpsons]]'': |
* From the episode "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase" of ''[[The Simpsons]]'': |
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{{quote|'''Moe:''' Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love. |
{{quote|'''Moe:''' Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love. |
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'''Grampa:''' Yeah - "All Quiet on the Western Front". }} |
'''Grampa:''' Yeah - "[[All Quiet on the Western Front]]". }} |
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* Spoofed on ''[[Futurama]]'', "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" |
* Spoofed on ''[[Futurama]]'', "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back" |
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{{quote|'''Number 1.0:''' Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to change the color of the book that regulation's in. We kept it gray.}} |
{{quote|'''Number 1.0:''' Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to change the color of the book that regulation's in. We kept it gray.}} |
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⚫ | * An [http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/textbook.asp urban legend] tells of a highly respected Criminology instructor with years of experience who taught at a state college for ten years. However, he only had a BA and growing credential inflation forced him to enrol in another college to get a graduate degree and keep his job. On his first day of class, his instructor asked him if he was related to the person who wrote the textbook due to having the same name... only for the "student" to reply that ''he'' wrote the textbook. |
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⚫ | * An [http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/textbook.asp urban legend] tells of a highly respected Criminology instructor with years of experience who taught at a state college for ten years. However, he only had a BA and growing credential inflation forced him to |
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{{reflist}} |
{{reflist}} |
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[[Category:Stock Phrases]] |
[[Category:Stock Phrases]] |
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Latest revision as of 20:42, 8 January 2024
Otto Palindrome: Palindrome here, sir; sorry to disturb you. —Quark, "Pilot"
|
A Stock Phrase commonly used when a character complains or brags about something, to which another character disregards their comment by saying something around the lines of "Don't tell me about that, I Wrote the Book On It!". There are two distinct contexts in which this gets used:
- A character is making a boast about their own expertise on a subject.
- A character commends someone else for being well-renowned on a given subject.
Generally, the "book" in question is just hyperbole and no such thing was ever published; although this can be parodied if it's claimed that they "literally Wrote the Book On It".
Common variations include "X? I'm the king of X!" and "I invented X!"
Film
- From the 1974 film Herbie Rides Again:
Alonzo Hawk: Since none of your pitiful excuses for men have enough muscle to move a feeble little old lady off her property, I'll go and do it myself, like I have to everything that's important around here. |
- From the 1999 film Teaching Mrs. Tingle:
Leigh Ann Watson: I am not scared of you. |
- From the 1994 film The Pagemaster:
Adventure: I wrote the book on sailing. In fact, I am the book on sailing. |
- From the 1989 film The Punisher:
Sam Leary: So how come you never gave up on Frank Castle, like everybody else did? |
- From the 1990 film The Grifters:
Lilly Dillon: You're working some angle, and don't tell me you're not because I wrote the book! |
- The "I invented" variation is used in The Santa Clause 3:
Lucy Miller: Okay, okay, chill! |
- Played with in Patton: General Patton knows that Rommel literally wrote the book on tank warfare, so he reads it and uses that knowledge to predict what Rommel will do at their first big showdown.
Patton: Rommel, you Magnificent Bastard, I read your book! |
- In the film of L.A. Confidential, when Exley and Bud White go to question the DA, at one point he tells them "Don't pull that Good Cop, Bad Cop crap on me, I practically invented it." At that point Exley just lets Bud go into full blown Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique. At the end, after the terrified DA has told them everything he knows, Exley sarcastically asks him if that's how he used to do the good cop/bad cop routine.
Literature
- Discworld:
- According to Making Money, this is quite literal for zombie-lawyer Mr. Slant.
You know those leather-bound tomes you have on the wall behind your desk to impress your clients? I have read them all, and I wrote half of them. |
- In Sourcery, Evil Vizier Abrim is described with the sentence "He probably wrote the book on dirty tricks, or more probably, stole it from someone else."
- Inverted in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, when Hagrid complains that Lockhart (who did write the book on dealing with magical pests[1]) insisted on giving him advice despite the fact it wasn't anything he didn't know.
- In First Test, Keladry actually grins when she finds out the textbook on Yamani manners being used in her etiquette class was written by her father, the former Yamani ambassador. When challenged by her instructor, she tells him that it's not uncommon to be executed for bowing the wrong way.
- In the second book of The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel, Machiavelli uses this. He gets to say not only that he wrote the book, but that he did so four hundred years ago.
Live-Action TV
- From the episode "'Twas the Fight Before Christmas" of McCloud:
Kate O'Hannah: New York is the coldest city in the world to be in... when you're alone. |
- From the episode "The Return of Bigfoot" of The Six Million Dollar Man:
Col. Steve Austin: I don't know. It's... it's like there's something there. I can almost remember, but not quite... it's frustrating. |
- From the episode "That's Show Biz" of M*A*S*H:
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce: That's right up my alley, I wrote the book on the appendix. I even wrote the appendix, but they took that out. |
- From the episode "Revenging Angel" of Farscape:
John Crichton: Dr. Chuck Jones wrote the book on these situations. |
- From the episode "The Best of Both Worlds: Part Two" of Star Trek: The Next Generation:
Guinan: Did he ever tell you why we're so close? |
- From the episode "There Might Be Blood" of Gossip Girl:
Blair Waldorf: Please, I wrote the book on distracted self-centered mothers. My mom has never met a single one of my teachers, she regularly forgets my birthday, and she only comments on my appearance when she has something to criticize. |
- From the episode "Hothead" of Smallville:
Lex Luthor: The Luthors wrote the book on uncomfortable silences. |
- From Friends:
- In the episode The One Where Ross Moves In:
Monica: Look, Larry, honey, I wrote the book on Section Five, and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen. |
- In the episode The One With Rachel's Sister:
Jill (sobbing): I'm so sorry! |
- In the episode "The Reunion Job" of Leverage, Larry Duberman (or Doucherman as people called him in high school) wrote the book on Database Security... I mean he literally wrote the book on Database Security.
- The Community episode "Competitive Wine Tasting" has a professor who wrote a book on Who's The Boss?. He then proceeds to try to shoehorn his opinion on Abed, but it turns out Abed knew more then he did.
- In the Series Finale of Star Trek: Voyager, a future Starfleet instructor introduces Admiral Janeway as "the person who, literally, wrote the book on the Borg."
- "I invented" rather than "wrote the book," but same principle. From Seinfeld:
Gwen: It's Not You, It's Me. |
- In Eureka, Allison literally wrote the book on space medicine... or at least her alternate-universe counterpart did, which is almost as good. (She apparently did all the same research, she just never got around to publishing her thesis.)
- Doctor Who gives us this gem:
Doctor: Gravity, Schmavity! My people practically invented black holes. Actually, they did! |
Music
Video Games
- From Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, Joe The Condor's victory quote against Zero:
You've got speed, I'll give you that. But your textbook fighting style isn't gonna work on the man who wrote the book! |
- In Super Mario 64, one of the Toads in the castle says that "Bowser wrote the book on bad."
Web Original
- From Commodore HUSTLE:
Morgan: James, please. When it comes to gay chicken, I practically wrote the book. Remember the groundbreaking assault that was International Cup Bill's Balls Week? |
- Girl Genius, after Gil reminds Vole who's the boss:
Gilgamesh: My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace. All seven popes ordered it burned. |
Western Animation
- From the episode "Jumpin' Crack Bass" of King of the Hill (also a case of Metaphorgotten):
Storekeeper: This fella never went to school. He grew up in the hills, but he wrote the book on homemade bait. 'Course it's just a bunch of scribbles 'cause he never went to school. |
- From the episode "The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase" of The Simpsons:
Moe: Hey, I don't need no advice from a pinball machine. I'll have you know, I wrote the book on love. |
- Spoofed on Futurama, "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back"
Number 1.0: Don't quote me regulations! I co-chaired the committee that reviewed the recommendation to change the color of the book that regulation's in. We kept it gray. |
Other Media
- An urban legend tells of a highly respected Criminology instructor with years of experience who taught at a state college for ten years. However, he only had a BA and growing credential inflation forced him to enrol in another college to get a graduate degree and keep his job. On his first day of class, his instructor asked him if he was related to the person who wrote the textbook due to having the same name... only for the "student" to reply that he wrote the textbook.
- ↑ Although not the book on magical creatures, that was Newt Scamander.