Think Unsexy Thoughts: Difference between revisions

{{trope}}

 

Sometimes, a man doesn't ''want'' to have [[Raging Stiffie|an erection]]. Either it's potentially physically hazardous, or there's a beautiful woman who he actually wants to spend time with and turning up with an obvious case of wood might not help. (Or of course, both.) Or maybe he's just embarrassed to be seen in public that way. And sometimes, a man might be in the act, so to speak, and in need of some way to [[Jizzed in My Pants|delay the inevitable]].

 

The opposite of [[Lie Back and Think of England]] when used for sex. [[Fetish Retardant]] and [[The Loins Sleep Tonight]] are inversions of this.

 

* In [[Infinite Stratos]], Ichika finds himself in a changing room with Charlotte, after she pulled him in both to hide from the [[Clingy Jealous Girl|other girls]] following them, as well as to show him the outfit she planned to wear at the beach. With his back turned to her, as he hears her undressing, he forces himself to [[Mouthful of Pi|recite Pi]] in order to get his mind off thinking about her naked body. It eventually works, but a few moments later they get caught...by his older sister and homeroom teacher.

* In one chapter of [[A.I. Love You]], Hitoshi has been forced into a pair of underwear that will [[Groin Attack|slap him in the crotch]] whenever he stirs and will ''explode'' if it reaches thirty slaps. He tries to avoid getting whacked by thinking about male body builders...[[Too Dumb to Live|while peeking in on the girls' locker room]]. (Un)fortunately, he loses focus for a second, the underwear slaps him, and the sound alerts the girls, who beat him up.

 

== Comic Books ==

* ''[[Rudi]]'' does this one time at a nude beach. Problem is that everything he tries to think of only makes him more horny. ("Square root of 4761 makes... 69! Shit, maths is too perverted!") Then, when he finally manages to get his [[Raging Stiffie]] under control (by thinking about cancer) - a pissed-of wasp stings him several times in a male body part, making things even worse.

 

* There is an NGE fanfic where Shinji tries to summon this trope... then decides he went too far with it and stops. What did he think of? ''[[Scary Shiny Glasses|His]] [[Clasp Your Hands If You Deceive|father]] [[Squick|in a thong]]''.

** I think this is ''It Can't Get Worse'' by Zentrodie, its on the [[Neon Genesis Evangelion/Fanfic Recs|Neon Genesis Evangelion]] fanfic page.

** A lemon has Ranma think about martial arts and mentally go through several katas in order to not come before Akane.

* An [[X Files]] comedy fic has Mulder in the middle of a meeting and daydreaming when he sees Scully eating a banana and his imagination starts generating some very NSFW daydreams. He exuses himself to the bathroom and goes through a variety of possibilities (baseball, some of the cases he worked), until his thought process stumbles on the idea of the Cigarette Smoking Man naked. Mulder is relieved not be turned on anymore, but [[I Need a Freaking Drink|really wants to wash the mental image away with a beer]].

 

== Film - Live-Action ==

* [[Margaret Thatcher]] again serves as anti-erection fodder in ''[[Bedrooms and Hallways]]'', where Leo, a gay man, is convinced to sit in a sauna with the fellow (straight) members of his support group.

* In the movie ''The Couch Trip'' John Burns, who is posing as a psychiatrist, recommends thinking of transmission repair for this purpose. Unfortunately, his description of taking apart a transmission, though he doesn't seem to realize or intend it, does not exactly qualify as unsexy. Observe: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SQNjg982JQ

 

== Literature ==

* In the novel ''[[Choke]]'', the protagonist thinks of corpses and other disgusting things to avoid early ejaculation.

* In [[Stephen King]]'s ''[[IT]]'', Tom Rogan thinks of "White Sox batting averages or who was trying to undercut him for the Chesley account at work" for the same reason.

* In ''[[Dave Barry]]'s Complete Guide to Guys'', Barry inclues advice for men on how to delay their orgasms, and suggests thinking of Margaret Thatcher, or, in extreme cases, [[Fan Disservice|Rush Limbaugh in a thong.]]

 

== Live-Action TV ==

* In the ''[[Boy Meets World]]'' episode "The Last Temptation of Cory", Cory mutters the words "lunchroom lady" to get him to stop thinking about a pretty girl who is trying to seduce him away from Topanga.

 

* One of the members of the band Love Fist in ''[[Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas]]'' is a chronic masturbator. To get him to stop, his bandmate tells him to "Think of Thatcher". Unfortunately, that just turns him on more.

 

* Slick from ''[[Sinfest]]'' has to work really [[Incredibly Lame Pun|hard]] at this when he gets a hug from Monique.

* ''[[SSDD]]'' has this, when a guy has to go without sex for a while. Being around computer nerds, unsexy thoughts aren't hard to come by.

* ''The Pain - When Will It End'' has one comic, "Silver Linings of the Holocaust". The first example is "Excellent Sexual Endurance Aid", where the man is thinking of the atrocities committed in concentration camps to keep from going off early. Then his thoughts stumble across [[Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS]], and, well...

{{quote|"ARBEIT MACHT FREI!"}}

 

== Western Animation ==

 

{{reflist}}

[[Category:Sex Tropes]]

[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]