The Salvation War: Difference between revisions

The answer author [http://www.navweaps.com/index_tech/default2_bioSS.htm Stuart Slade] gives: the governments of the world [[Rage Against the Heavens|declare war on Heaven and Hell]].

 

 

From The Amazing Randi trying to discover how to peer into Hell, to the rampaging demons that appear in civilian areas around the world, to the worldwide mobilization for war, the story covers a worldwide stage. The second volume, ''Pantheocide'', concerns the war with Heaven and shows that the forces of Heaven are far better commanded and more dangerous than the forces of Hell.

* [[Alternate History]]: The Message came around in early 2008, so everything since then. The author also made up or resurrected a few military projects (for example, Aurora).

* [[Always Chaotic Evil]]: Subverted with the Baldricks when taught otherwise from what Satan says.

** Chapter 41 of ''Pantheocide'' lays out just how multinational the war really is:''The Salvation War was a truly multi-national enterprise. That was why sub-munitions made in South Africa were delivered to China for installation in 227mm rockets that were shipped in Greek freighters to Hell where they were issued to American MLRS batteries that gained their mobility from oil that had been drilled in Saudi Arabia and refined in Singapore before being carried by Norwegian tankers to Dutch-built storage facilities on the shores of Hell. Early in the war, at least three economists were reputed to have committed suicide after trying to work out how to pay for everything.''

** America also ends up being more or less in charge of the entire HEA, with General Petraeus being its Supreme Commmander.

* [[Bastard Understudy]]: Michael-Lan shows himself to be one in ''Pantheocide''. {{spoiler|He is actively yet subtly plotting to take over Heaven by making multiple angels dependent on him for secretly-supplied drugs and decadence while he takes advantage of the war with the humans to get rid of the less controllable angels by having them sent to die in the front lines, effectively on suicide missions, without telling anybody it's suicide to attack the humans head on.}}

** And then {{spoiler|Elhmas}} comes along...

** Demons are definitely not immortals, but strong enough so that 5.56mm or 9mm won't kill them before they reach their target and tear it apart. Humans adapt by, among other things, mass-producing M4s and M16s that fire .50 Beowulf rounds (these already exist in real life but in smaller quantities), then by rechambering the M1 Garand (originally .30-06) for .458 Winchester (called the M114 and presumably the M115 carbine), and by using the monstruous Barrett M82A1 as the default sniper rifle. By the end of the first book, most military personnel carry either a Desert Eagle .50 or a S&W Model 500 as a side-arm.

** Completely topped by a Prince's George County cop with the ''king'' of [[BFG|BFGs]] (a Pfeifer-Zeliska .600 Nitro Express Magnum, pretty much a revolver the size of a shotgun), to the point that he falls on his ass from firing the shot ''and'' is struck in the face by it due to the recoil force. But then, it WAS the first time he ever fired it. (This turns out to be a mild subversion, when a military colonel points out to him the practical uselessness of it.)

* [[Exact Words]]: Used at least a couple times.

** When asked as to whether or not they had recon units at the Eternal City without informing HEA central command, the head British officer replies: "I can honestly say that Her Majesty's Armed Forces have no covert operations groups stationed ''outside'' The Eternal City." (bolding ours, in order to further emphasize the bleedin' obvious)

{{quote|'''Stevenson''': "And what happened to Elhmas [the angel that possessed Jesus]?"

'''Michael''': {{spoiler|"Most everybody thinks you killed him. Oh, not you personally, you humans. He was in command of the Incomparable Legion of Light when it was nuked. The Host is certain that he died there."}} }}

* [[Final Death]]: What exactly happens if a demon, an angel, or an undead human die has yet to be made clear. Demons have been wondering if there was a "super-hell" waiting for them; this would end up being a reason for {{spoiler|several Russian undead who defected from the leadership of modern Russia's military forces in Hell to instead join Peter the Great or Kliment Voroshilov's own proto-states}} -- they weren't particularly interested in dying (again) for a state they felt no real loyalty to.

* [[Fire and Brimstone Hell]]: More or less fit the description, though Hell is ''not'' described as a [[Single Biome Planet|Single Biome Dimension]]. Much of it is actually quite nice once the local torturing is stopped.

* [[Fish Out of Temporal Water]]: Ori (a samurai) and Aeneas (a Spartan), picked up by a team in the Seventh Circle, and Julius Caesar, leader of the homegrown rebellion.

** This trope is why {{spoiler|Robert E. Lee, who offered his service to the U.S. flag again}}, won't be leading forces into battle again. In fact, in Chapter 62 of ''Pantheocide'', the fantasy is [[Reality Ensues|shattered forever]]:

{{quote|'''Major General Asanee''': ''Yes, I am a serious bitch''.}}

** Subverted ''hard'', almost tragically in the case of {{spoiler|former General Robert E. Lee}}.

* [[The Fundamentalist]]: The ones as devout as they claimed to be are mostly dead, except for [[The Quisling|a few traitors]]. A lot of leaders, though, were not so devout, and they have either gone into hiding or reversed their positions.

* [[Fun with Acronyms]]: Department of Intelligence and Military Operations (Netherworld).

** {{spoiler|The entire city of Tel Aviv being sacrificed by the Israeli prime minister so that the human alliance won't suffer a serious fracture.}}

* [[Hollow World]]: [[Word of God]] says that both Heaven and Hell are hollow worlds, where the inhabitants live on the inside of the planet. This was inspired by the common usage that people live "on Earth" and "in Heaven" or "in Hell" together with classical "Golden Age" science fiction that featured hollow worlds. However, the trope is subverted since Heaven and Hell are not so much hollow as complex multi-dimensional shapes (like klein bottles) that have an inner surface but no outer surface. Digging down from Hell doesn't lead to an infinity of rock, it merely brings the digger out somewhere else in Hell.

* [[Humans Advance Swiftly]]: The real kicker for the baldricks and the angels. To beings who were effectively immortal, checking every couple of hundred years was sufficient to make sure the easily-slaughtered cattle were still easily killable, as in thousands of years of technological development mankind went from hitting each other with bronze swords and spears and riding chariots to hitting each other with steel spears and pikes and riding warhorses with couched lances. Two hundred years ago, smoothbore line-of-sight cannons were the most powerful weapon that mankind could field. Then in a single century mankind jumped to using tanks, missile artillery, jets, and nuclear weaponry. That jump is so mind-boggling that the baldricks spend a significant amount of time simply figuring out what happened when they weren't looking.

* [[Humans Are Bastards]]: Subverted. On the battlefield, according to the demons, human are ruthless killing machines. They just won't stop until the opposing army is ''annihilated''. Still, they're also incredibly nice with their prisoners of war, by demonic standards of course. However, Micheal fears that humanity will not be so forgiving to Heaven, since Yahweh basically betrayed them. He figures that the humans didn't really like the Baldricks, but they ''hate'' the angels. The author's said that Michael, aware of lower angelic fertility, fears that angelic casualties on the level the demons suffered during the Curbstomp War would be an extinction event.

* [[Humanity Is Infectious]]: Played straight with Memnon informing a doctor treating {{spoiler|angels with shattered wings that removing them and allowing them to regrow might just be the trick.}}

{{quote|"For millennia, uncounted millennia, so far back that time itself became misty, we did things that were brutal and cruel beyond limits. We gloried in that cruelty and measured ourselves by it. Then you humans came and you slaughtered us. It was so easy for you that you defeated us and cast us down in a few weeks. By our standards we would have been your slaves and treated as cruelly as we treated our victims. But you didn't. You healed our wounds, you repaired what had been destroyed. In doing so you showed us the deadliest of all your weapons, compassion. You changed us and gave us a different way of looking at the world. Now, those of us who saw the destruction you can wreak on those you fight, we want to be like you. By changing the environment in which we lived, you changed us. To help the crippled Angels is our first step back from the pit."}}

* [[Humans Are Special]]: Both the demons and some of the angels concede that there's something about humans that makes them special, such as their equal capacities for destruction and forgiveness, their desire to adapt, their habit of asking how things work rather than taking them for granted, and the fact that they don't just fight to "win," but to ''completely annihilate the enemy''. Mildly subverted within the story, as the difference was cultural, though this is huge. The demons could and indeed did adapt several times throughout ''Armageddon''... they just had no chance to bridge the gap in time. Amusingly, the succubus "Luga" almost mistakes science and engineering for human religions.

* [[Humans Are Warriors]]: Several demonic characters started referring to humans as Lords Of War. To say nothing of their reaction when they find out humans have weapons we are actually ''afraid to use'' (nukes).

* [[Hurricane of Puns]]: The law firm of "Bleedum, Grabbit and Runne."

** Also, when asked what he was going to do about the main body of Angels after the H.E.A. invades Heaven, General Petraeus replies [[Stealth Pun|"Sodom, for Gomorrah they die"]].

* [[In the Name of the Moon]]: Uriel's "May my peace be with you." {{spoiler|As of chapter 41 of Pantheocide, peace is with him at long last.}}

* [[Incredibly Lame Pun]]: "I suggest, Mr President, that you tell your people what I told mine. In view of the circumstances, Britannia waives the rules."

* [[Jesus Taboo]]: Averted. There are several direct references to Jesus made by Yahweh and Michael. Yahweh thinks his son is a loser, while Jesus himself spends his time "testing" out various drugs for Michael's underground drug ring.

** It's since turned out that {{spoiler|"Jesus" was actually a human carpenter whose body had been possessed for years by Yahweh's son whose real name is apparently Elhmas, commander of the Incomparable Legion, and he's actually}}...

** The "groovy, man" bit is actually a ruse -- when revealed to be {{spoiler|Elhmas, angelic controller of the human body of Jesus the carpenter}}, he keeps up the guise in the presence of Raphael-lan, Michael-lan's minion, but drops it when talking to his own subordinate Enatenael-lan-{{spoiler|Elhmas}}.

** In Chapter 83 of Pantheocide, {{spoiler|Elhmas}} actually turns out to really ''be'' way cool. It turns out that he was the first angel to figure out how potentially powerful humanity was, and his {{spoiler|possession of Jesus of Nazareth}} was actually intended to instill stronger and more just morality among the humans so they wouldn't kill and hurt one another. In other words, he ''wanted'' to help humanity. Unfortunately, his message was perverted by humans, and he tried several more times over the years - {{spoiler|first with Mohammad and Islam, and later with what may have been Martin Luther.}} Each instance backfired on him, and he finally gave up and started getting baked with Michael. {{spoiler|When Elhmas confronts Michael about the deception and attempt to kill him, he just says that he's tired of it all, and that Michael's methods were correct - and then he gets baked with Michael again, after telling him that Elhmas is now the [[Man Behind the Man]].}}

* [[Linear Warriors, Quadratic Wizards]]: Just exchange "wizards" with "scientists" and you will have a good idea on how things are going...

* [[Loads and Loads of Characters]]: And how! The Characters page lists most of the major characters, but there are many, ''many'' minor characters.

* [[Make Me Wanna Shout]]: The angelic "Trumpet Blasts" have been described as "the sonic equivalent of a laser", and are capable of shaking apart fighter jets and shattering stone walls.

* [[Melee a Trois]]: Heaven and Hell were more or less in a state of [[Cold War]] before the story begin. Then humanity decides to take them both down. The continued hostility between Heaven and Hell is still a major plot point, and as a result, both Satan and Yahweh tended to see conspiracies all around, though as we see in ''Pantheocide'', this isn't necessarily unjustified.

** [[Satan]]: Apparently the brother of the self-proclaimed god, as well as Uriel. Capable of some kind of telekinesis in addition to the other powers shown.

** [[Our Dragons Are Different]]:

** Hydras are seemingly nonsapient, with seven heads and prehensile tails. They are commanded by the demon Minos at the gate where second-life humans come from; they wrap their tails a certain number of times around a newly-deceased human as instructed by Minos (this number determines where in Hell the human will land) and throw them into the Hellpit.

** [[Our Gods Are Greater|The Rest Of Our Gods Are Probably Not Going To Be All That Great]]: Stuart has confirmed the existence of the Aesir (Norse gods) and the Baals. There is also the faction that kept Julius Caesar from being tormented in Hell.

** [[Our Orcs Are Different]]: They're the native inhabitants of Hell. They aren't as smart as humans but they're still sapient. They are used by the demons as slaves. Their native language, uniquely, is immune to the demons' (and presumably angels') tongues ability.

* [[Pre-Ass-Kicking One-Liner]]: Jade "Broomstick" Kim, one of the first soldiers who died in the war against Hell, has this to say after her and the soldiers she's leading receive military supplies:

{{quote|Okay, guys. We don’t have to eat. We don’t have to sleep. We heal ten times faster than ordinary humans. We’re the United States military. Let’s go blow up some baldricks.}}

* [[Punch Clock Villain]]: "Just doing my job" is a fairly good excuse for most of the demons and angels. An interesting subversion appear however when some demons or angels {{spoiler|particulary Uriel}} begin to ''really'' hate the humans because they just refuse to do what was expected, laying down and die.

* [[Puny Humans]]: The Baldricks all tower above most humans, but they learn the hard way that modern weapons tech ''more'' that makes up for it.

** Caesar's assistants in hell when the readers first meet him are called [[Rome|Titus Pullo and Lucius Vorenus]].

** [[Incredibly Lame Pun|Hell]], the PFLH manages to get the series on DVD sent down with a travel-size player, so they can see their own depictions. Aeanas also watches [[300]]. He is not pleased.

** In chapter 60 of ''Pantheocide'' Michael-Lan says: "[[Star Wars|I find your lack of respect . . . . disturbing.]]" ... ''[[I Always Wanted to Say That|I've been wanting to say that for years]]''.

* [[Shown Their Work]]: Stuart has immense personal and professional knowledge about the military and culture of Thailand. In ''Pantheocide'', this is shown. Ditto for England, as he's actually originally from there.

* [[Suspiciously Specific Denial]]: "I can honestly say that Her Majesty's Armed Forces have no covert operations groups stationed ''outside'' The Eternal City."(Emphasis added)

** Also, in chapter 84, Michael leaves one for Colonel Stevenson: "''Most everybody'' thinks you killed him. Oh, not you personally, you humans. {{spoiler|He was in command of the Incomparable Legion of Light when it was nuked. The Host is certain that he died there.}}"

* [[Take Our Word for It]]: The content of [[Brown Note|The Message]]. We're only told the effects it had on the world's population, not the actual Message, though some chapters do give some indication of it. The only part we really see is the very first two sentences of the story.

** Justified as the writer figured that he couldn't really do it justice by writing it down.

** While originally speculated to be an [[Author Avatar]], he was later revealed to be a tip of the hat to Don Brennan, a friend of the author, who managed to have his entire lawn die in 3 months. All of it. Hence the in-joke that he could kill a plant just by being in the same room with it.

* [[Unperson]]: Abigor is one for Hell from the moment he is sent on a suicide mission for his failure, and until the humans bring him to rule there.

** A recursive one via the succubi - Luga never expected ''George W. Bush'' to out-charisma her -- the White House's anti-gas grenade vent system diffuses her natural pheromones -- and thus gets tapped to play her mistress Deumos for one of these. Deumos in turn is suckered into thinking that the humans agree to give up one third of their dead for demon torture in return for an end to the war, to the point that she actually believed that [[What an Idiot!|that was why the humans seized the area of Hell where the newly dead arrive]]. Abigor lampshades how much of a dumbass Deumos has been. She later got her brain squeezed inside-out and her face burned by ''the exhaust from a missile'' for her trouble. {{spoiler|She does not survive her injuries. Turns out that she was in the same room as Satan when the anti-ship missiles were portaled in.}}

** Michael-Lan is aware that his "street-corner pharmaceuticals" aren't really 'the good stuff,' but thinking that the electric trolley the Myanmar junta gave him to haul them with (''Pantheocide'' Chapter 10) is ''just'' a gift. The first one was. The second one, however... let's just say {{spoiler|it had a very high ''boom'' quotient.}}