Answers to The Name of God

Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
(Redirected from Smith Will Suffice)

Bane: Oh God!
Smith: 'Smith' will suffice.

—The Matrix Reloaded

A character exclaims, "Oh God!" Or "Jesus Christ!" or some other variation. Another character reacts as if he has been addressed. Can be used by heroes or villains, and is usually an indicator of great power, great insanity, or both.

Named after the dialogue exchange quoted above, when Smith starts copying himself over Bane.

If a Card-Carrying Villain, he will wryly comment that he's quite the opposite.

Compare A God Am I and Blasphemous Boast.

Examples of Answers to The Name of God include:

Comic Books

  • A variant occurs in the Marvel Comics miniseries Captain Marvel: when Mar-Vell confronts the leader of a religion based on him, she says "Oh my God!" and he responds, "I hope you don't mean that literally."
  • Done in a Punisher special, where a serial killer says "I like that. Being called 'God'."
  • There's an older Batman comic containing an exchange between Commissioner Gordon, and The Joker, after The Joker suddenly walks into the Commissioner's office:

Commissioner Gordon: Oh my God!
Joker: (spins to look behind him) Where?! ...Oh, I see. You were addressing me.

  • In an even earlier issue (Laughing Fish, which was the basis for the below episode of the Animated Series), Joker bursts into a patent office, and the clerk remarks "Good Lord!" After asking where the Lord was and looking around. He then says "Oh, were you addressing me? A term of endearment perhaps. Admit it, you've always secretly admired me."
  • In volume one chapter three of Tom Strong, the titular superhero release the artificial intelligence Quetzalacoatl 9 from his Aztech creators.

Moctecuzoma: Oh God. Oh, great God...
Quetzalacoatl 9: Exactly.

Batman: Oh God...
Red Hood/Jason Todd: No. Wanna guess again?

Lucullan: Oh dear God.
Golgoth: You may call me Golgoth.

  • In the XXXenophile short Now Museum, a statue of four ancient goddesses comes alive and they teach a female night guard that men aren't everything. During her Immodest Orgasm she yells out "Oh My God!"... The goddesses reply "Yes?"
  • Paparazzi features this exchange - and consider that Wonderboy is stupid enough for this to actually be a mistake on his part.

Woman: Oh, sweet Jesus!
Wonderboy: It's Wonderboy, actually. Close, though!

  • From Top Ten: the police get called to a crime scene, which turns out to be the murder of Baldur.

Synesthesia Oh, Jesus...
King Peacock: Actually, Baldur's more of a teutonic antecedent of Jesus, but you're in the right ballpark.

Fan Works

  • Painfully popular in what we might call the amateur porn of the Internet, especially when it involves Foe Yay being taken to its logical conclusion...
  • My Little Avengers: The following exchange occurs when Big Mac reveals to his sister that he's Thor by transforming into him:

Applejack: Holy Celestia!
Big Mac/Thor: Not quite.

Assault shook his head fervently. "I can be accused of being many things, but I'll never be so stupid or tired of life as to say something even remotely negative about [Atropos]."
"That's probably wise of you." Atropos stepped out of the shadowy portal that had formed just behind him, carrying a brightly wrapped object.
"Jesus!" Assault jumped at least four feet sideways, ending up on the far side of Battery.
"No, Atropos." The black-clad cape sounded mildly amused. "There's a difference."

Film

  • And in a strange twist, it turns out Will Smith was originally offered the role of Neo.
  • Another film example, somewhat inverted, from Superman II, albeit it predates the example and is far more infamous, when the President has just been forced to Kneel Before Zod, and is horrified.

President: Oh, God!
Zod: Zod.

Bud White: Jesus Fucking Christ!
Patchett: No, Mr White, Pierce Morehouse Patchett..

  • In Chicago, while discussing hiring a con-artist lawyer:

Roxie Hart: Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Mama: You're talkin' to the wrong people, honey.

Dude: Jesus!
Jesus: You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

Grace: Oh, God.
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.

  • It should be noted that at this point in the movie, Bruce actually has been given God's powers, making this a play on the trope.

Bobby Shelton: Who are you?
*The devil sticks up his thumb, and a flame comes out of it, like a cigarette lighter. He lights a cigar with the flame, then extinguishes the flame by blowing on his thumb. Bobby Shelton's reaction is a mixture of shock and disgust.*
Bobby Shelton: My God!
Devil: *wry smile* Guess again.

  • An earlier entry in this series (Oh God! Book II), had God (George Burns) mess with the heads of several psychologists by toying with whether it was day or night. When He finally seemed to have stopped and departed, one sighed, "Thank God!" and His voice responded, "You're welcome."

J.P. Monroe: Jesus Christ!
Pinhead: Not quite.

  • Bloodline features Pinhead responding to an "Oh my God"-type moment with "Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?"
  • Death Machine. The villain, Jack Dante, is hamming it up, and the annoyed good guy rolls his eyes and remarks "Christ." Dante responses with "Not quite... but close."
  • In History of the World, Part I, someone shouts, "Jesus!" and Jesus himself replies, "Yes?"
  • Classic variation from Mae West, in the movie Night After Night:

"Goodness, what beautiful diamonds."
"Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie."

Victim: Oh, God!
Freddy (gesturing to his face with the claws): This is God.

Jesse Braun: Oh, God!
Freddy Krueger: No. Just me.

  • Inverted in 1776, where the obnoxious and disliked John Adams discovers that Thomas Jefferson, after a week of writer's block, hasn't finished the Declaration of Independence.

Adams: Good God! A whole week! The entire earth was created in a week!
Jefferson: Someday, you must tell me how you did it.

  • Played straight in the first Wishmaster movie, when, after the Jerkass Genie has arranged something horrible to happen, the (unwitting at the time) wisher says "Oh my god!", with the JG replying "Not yet, mortal. Soon".
  • When Fireball shows up in The Running Man, Amber exclaims "Jesus Christ!". Ben responds, "Guess again."
  • In Death Becomes Her, when Lisle displays the rejuvinating properties of the potion on Ernest's hand, he exclaims, "My god!" Lisle smiles and says, "Thank you."
  • The Prophecy:

Katherine: Oh God...
Lucifer: God? God is love. I don't love you.

  • Done in The Ruling Class, where the 14th Earl of Gurney (Peter O'Toole) believes he's Jesus.

Literature

  • A variation occurs in Good Omens when the Hell's Angels realize the foursome that just walked into their bar are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. One of them exclaims, "Jesus Christ!" while another, who had paid some attention to Revelation, says something like, "No, but I'm sure he'll be around in a minute."
  • In The Bear and The Dragon people keep reacting to President Jack Ryan's presence unannounced with "Jesus!" He eventually responds, towards the end of the book, with "That's not my name!"
  • Variation: in The Master and Margarita, a Soviet bureaucrat shouts, "The devils take me," having been thoroughly exasperated by Behemoth and Korovyev. Being more or less devils, they enthusiastically agreed and promptly "took" him, leaving behind his empty animated suit. (One English translation has him saying "Damn me", with the same result).
  • Similarly, in The Sword and the Stone the curse "Castor and Pollux blow me to Bermuda!" is more effective than planned.
  • In the short story Young Goodman Brown, one character exclaims "The Devil!" (somewhat akin to "What the hell?") when startled by a character who later actually turns out to be the Devil.
  • In the Discworld novel Small Gods, where Brutha, the protagonist, literally carries his god (currently in the form of a tortoise) around with him:

Brutha: Oh, my god...
Om: What now?

  • Inverted earlier in the novel: Brutha sees an eagle and remembers Om, who ended up in his vicinity due to an eagle's failure to turn said god into lunch. The people who are traveling with him at the time mistake this for a general exclamation.

Brutha: Oh! My God!
Others: What? What is it?
Brutha: Er, has anyone seen my tortoise?

  • A running gag in-story in the Undead series by Mary Janice Davidson. Vampires cannot bear to hear Christ's name or any prayer, as it causes them physical pain. Betsy's tendency to take the Lord's name in vain is therefore unfortunate given her relationship with the vampire Sinclair. So every time she exclaims, "Jesus Christ!" Sinclair winces and says, "I've asked you not to call me that."
  • In Poul Anderson's A Midsummer Tempest, when Jennifer exclaims, "Dear God," Will says another Person holds that post.
  • In Curse of the Azure Bonds. Paraphrased:

Alias: Oh Gods...
Moander: Just one. Only me.

Severus Snape: Do you remember me telling you we were practicising non-verbal spells, Potter?
Harry Potter: Yes.
Snape: Yes, Sir.
Harry: There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor.

  • Many of the swears and oaths used in the Codex Alera revolve around "furies," elemental beings that give people control over the elements. When Amara sees the full power of Garados and Thana, a massive mountain and his "wife," the cold winds from the Sea of Ice, she expresses her shock in the standard Aleran swear of "great furies." Placidus Aria simply responds with "two of them."
  • In Tales of Kolmar, a character once exclaims, "Goddess, Rella!" and Rella lightly responds, "Not yet, but I'm working on it." She isn't; she just has a very irreverent sense of humor.

Live-Action TV

  • Charmed does this a lot, especially in the early seasons.
  • After freeing a seemingly innocent group of children from a seemingly evil ice cream truck...

Prue: Oh my god.
Little boy: (complete with Red Glowing Eyes of Doom and deep voice) Actually, quite the opposite.

  • Later, in the season 5 finale Oh My Goddess, where the sisters get turned into the greek gods and have to battle titans:

Paige: So much for the titans.
Phoebe: Thank God.
Piper: You're welcome.

  • Season 4's "Charmed and Dangerous", where the sisters are ambushed by the Source of All Evil himself:

Paige: Oh my God!
Source: Not quite.

Bernard: "Of course, in the service, CMG stands for Call Me God. And KCMG for Kindly Call Me God."
Hacker: "What about GCMG?"
Bernard: "God Calls Me God."

  • From another episode:

Hacker: How did Humphrey know where I was?
Bernard: God moves in a mysterious way.
Hacker: Let me make one thing clear. Sir Humphrey is not God. Okay?
Bernard: Will you tell him or shall I?

  • In Yes, Prime Minister, young civil servant Bernard has been instructed to change the locks to keep his senior, Sir Humphrey, out. Sir Humphrey had a spare unofficial key however and appears, apoplectic with rage, before a terrified Bernard.

Bernard: Oh my God!
Sir Humphrey: No Bernard, it's just your boss.

  • This was also done in an episode of Spin City, where guest star Christopher Lloyd's character thought he was God.

"Thank God!"
"You're welcome!"

  • In another episode, James is showing off his chocolate Nativity diorama:

James: Look! Chocolate Jesus!
Carter: Please! At work just call me Carter!

  • In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "Fear Itself", Oz dresses for Halloween as God (which basically consists of wearing his own clothes an a name tag saying "Hello, my name is GOD"). This is the punchline to Willow having dressed up as Joan of Arc, because of their similarities, such as the close relationship with God. He runs with it in dialogue.

Xander: Why didn't I think of that? I coulda been God!
Oz: Blasphemer.
Later, after having to listen to annoying "spooky" sound effects in a haunted house, the noises finally stop:
Buffy: Thank God!
Oz: (holding power lead) You're welcome.

  • This was also partially related to an earlier episode (Oz wasn't there) where they all turned into their costumes - Oz figured if it happened again he could just reverse the spell, what with being God and all.
  • In an early episode of Joan of Arcadia, Joan, who is still reluctant about her new mission and frustrated with the lack of clarity, has this exchange.

Joan: God!
God: Yes?
Joan: No, I... I was taking your name in vain. To be technical. Sorry.

  • In the fourth episode of Blackadder Goes Forth, Flashheart, a popular British aviator enters Blackadder's dugout. Private George and Private Baldrick are aghast

George: MY GOD!
Flashheart: Yes, I suppose I am.

  • And from the second series:

Baby-eating Bishop of Bath and Wells:' Drugged, by God!
Blackadder: No, by Baldrick actually, but the effect is much the same.

Molly: Oh, thank God!
Dean: Call me Dean.

  • Supernatural likes this trope. Other examples include: from 4.15,

Dean: (after seeing Alastair disappear in a bright flash of light) What the Hell?
Castiel: Guess again.

  • And, from season 4's finale:

Ruby: Now guess who's coming to dinner ...
Sam: Oh my God ...
Ruby: Guess again. [1]

  • Let's not forget the Web episode in which the Ghostfacers meet Cas.

Ed: *reacting to Castiel's sudden appearance* JESUS CHRIST!
Castiel: *slightly confused* No...I'm Castiel.

  • M*A*S*H occasionally played with a twist of this set-up with Father Mulcahey;

Mulcahey: Good news, Colonel, that was the last of the wounded.
Potter: Thank God.
Mulcahey: I did, sir.

  • In the episode Devil's Due of Star Trek: The Next Generation, a woman who may be the devil transports Picard off the Enterprise, toys with him for a while, transports him back to the bridge in his bathrobe, and causes him to paraphrase Mae West (above):

Crewman: Captain! Thank goodness you're all right!
Picard: Goodness had nothing to do with it.

Angela: Oh God, oh thank you God!
Hodgins: "God" is a little formal. "Hodgins" will do.

  • In Episode 524 of The Muppet Show, the Newsman reads a news story about a black-and-yellow striped mackerel getting elected king. At first he thinks it's a prank (especially since he had also read a story about a spy ring attempting to sneak ridiculous stories into the news), but then one of the guards in the theater escorts the new king into the news room:

The Newsman: [amazed] Holy mackerel!
King: No, "Your Highness" will do.

Radio

Jo Kendall: Oh my God!
Director-General: Very close! I am, in fact...the Director-General of The BBC! (Hallelujah Chorus)

Recorded and Stand Up Comedy

God: "Jesus Christ, what on Earth is that!?"
Jesus: "Don't take my name in vain, Dad!"
God: "Jeezie Chreezie, what on Earth is that!?"
Jesus: "Don't call me Jeezie Chreezie!"

  • Inverted in the Bill Cosby concert film Bill Cosby: Himself.

Bill Cosby: It was because of my father that, from the ages of seven to fifteen, I thought that my name was Jesus Christ, and my brother, Russell, thought that his name was Dammit. "Dammit, will you stop all that noise?" And, "Jesus Christ, sit down!" One day, I'm out playing in the rain, and my father yelled, "Dammit will you get back in here!" I said, "Dad, I'm Jesus Christ!"

  • Hilariously inverted in his Noah's Ark routine. When God reveals Himself and explains His plan, a skeptical Noah responds, "Who is this really?"

Theatre

  • In the Dark Comedy play The Ruling Class, The 14th Earl of Gurney, Jack (played marvelously in the film version by Peter O'Toole) is convinced that he is Jesus Christ, the Messiah. When one character exclaims "Jesus Christ" he calmly answers, "Yes?"
  • He also originated the quote "How did you realize you were God?" "Well, I was praying one day and then realized I was talking to myself."
  • Related: In the 2010 stage revival of Yes Prime Minister, After Jim Hacker says, "Oh God!" The lights go out due to the thunderstorm and Humphrey appears in the doorway, illuminated from behind.

Video Games

Grobnar: And we could look, at last, for the Wendersnaven!
Sand: Oh, Gods.
Grobnar: No, they're not gods. They're the Wendersnaven...

  • Although such obliviousness is pretty well par for the course wherever Grobnar is concerned.

Mobius: (to Sydney) Thank God you're alive!
Parker: You're welcome.

Web Animation

Snake: "Shut up, for Christ's sake, I know how to climb a ladder, Jesus ow my EAR!!"
Jesus: "Sorry, bro."
Snake: "Thanks Jesus."
Jesus: "It's coo."

  • Taken to its logical extreme when Snake, disgusted by Otacon's pantswetting, calls out Jesus' name. Jesus appears, is also disgusted, and calls out God's name. Subsequently, *God* appears, and is disgusted to the point of regretting ever creating piss.
  • One of the shorts in the collaborative The Matrix parody, The Matrix Has You involves a scene where a carpenter accidentally puts a nail in his thumb and shouts: "Jesus CHRIST!" Cue Jesus sighing and asking "Whaddya want?"

Web Comics

Frankie: Oh god oh god oh god...
Gavin: Please stop calling me that.

Jenn: Oh my God!
Satan: What's your second guess?

Abe: Jesus Christ! Do you know who that is? Wait, I think I said that backwards.

Dominic: Oh my God. No. God has nothing to do with this.

Rufus: Oh my God!
Lucibear: Wrong deity, dumbass.

Lothar: I trust him, Schaefer.
Schaefer: Sir.
Lothar: "Lothar" will do fine.
Schaefer: You insolent son of a--

Web Original

  • Used in Sailor Nothing, with the variant that the villain responds to the word Hell as opposed to God.
  • Cthulhu objects to being called "Jesus Christ."

Western Animation

  • A variant occurs in an episode of Animaniacs that retold the story of Noah:

Noah: Oh, my God.
God: That is correct.

  • A short cartoon shown in the early days of Spike and Mike involved the main character interrupting, among other things, a brain surgery in progress...

Surgeon: God! Oh God!
Rick: Oh please, let's not be formal. Call me "Bishop".

  • In just about every South Park episode that features Jesus, some character will exclaim "Jesus!", prompting Jesus to inquire, "Yes?"
  • In an episode of Family Guy, where Peter has convinced others that he has healing abilities and is the Messiah.

Lois: (sees a giant golden idol in Peter's image) Oh my God!
Peter: Yes?
Lois: That's not funny.

  • And another:

God: (after accidentally burning down a bar) Jesus Christ!
Jesus: What?
God: Get the Escalade, we're out of here!

Bender: Oh my God. Are you...God?
God?: Possibly.

Mr. Francis: Great Scott!
Joker: Actually, I'm Irish.

Jimmy: Holy...
Lois: Not the word I would use.

  • A variation occurs in another episode where Bruno Mannheim finds himself on Apokolips and asks "Where in God's name are we?" to which Kanto replies, "That depends. Which god are you talking about?"
  • Bromwell High has an episode where one of the teachers build a robotic Jesus. Obviously, when said teacher says Jesus in dismay, the robot went "...Yes?".
  • In The Life and Times of Juniper Lee, the Sandman introduces himself to the heroine as such:

Sandman: I am the Sandman. The Vision Crafter, Given of Wishes, the Lord of the Sleep Realm, the King of Dreams! But you can call me Steven.

Other Media

  • There's an old joke where a man gets hit by a car while committing a bank robbery. He wakes up in a fiery pit.

Thief: Good heavens!
Devil: Not quite...

  • An old Harvard anecdote tells of a Theology professor nearly getting run down by a truck driver.

Driver: Jesus Christ!
Prof: (calmly) No, just his servant.

  • A joke that is told about many statesmen:

Wife of statesman: "Oh my god!"
Statesman: "<his first name> will suffice while we're among us."

  • One story about Charles de Gaulle states that his wife walked in on him while in his bath, and promptly exclaimed "Oh my God!" To which Charles replied "You may call me Charles, dear, I've learned to remain humble."
  • An anecdote about one British statesman, or at least about how his wife regarded him, says that while the man was upstairs at his home, some visitors in a room downstairs got into a political discussion and couldn't agree. Finally, one of them, meaning that God knew the answer even though they didn't, said, "There is One above who alone knows all." The statesman's wife then said, "Yes, and <her husband's name> will be down shortly."

Real Life

I don't believe in God. People have called me God, though- "Oh God, no! Oh God, no!"

  1. ↑ She's just succeeded in tricking him into opening Lucifer's cage, thereby setting the Devil loose on the world. Whoops.
Retrieved from "https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Answers_to_The_Name_of_God?oldid=2046954"