Santa Claus/WMG: Difference between revisions
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== This person is a [[Time Lord/WMG|Time Lord]]. ==
This one is a bit more justifiable than some of the other ones. It answers a couple of the key questions about Santa. First, how can he visit every house in the world in one night? He's a time traveler. How can he fit billions of gifts into his sleigh? The sleigh is his TARDIS. How does he fit down chimneys? I'm gonna go with some sort of sonic technology. Flying reindeer? Part of the TARDIS (his chameleon circuit is pretty sophisticated). Okay, I need to stop watching [[Doctor Who]] and reading the WMG pages.
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Atnas is Santa's opposite, a righteous exponent of asceticism living at the South Pole. She has been attempting to combat the commercialization of the holiday season and restore the former multi-religious overtones of the winter solstice, with little success; her main plan is conspicuously failing to give anybody presents, which is not exactly a raging PR success, since nobody even notices. It is believed that she is currently training tap-dancing [[Everything's Better with Penguins|penguins]] to convert the masses.
* [[Happy Feet]]?
* You mean [[
== We are foils in Santa's purgatory. ==
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** In the Middle East, presents come from the Wise Men and their pack camel. After all, they're the ones who brought presents to Baby Jesus, starting the whole thing.
== Santa is actually an evil warlord bent on conquering the world. ==
[https://web.archive.org/web/20071113220157/http://www.dragon-tails.com/comics/archive.php?date=991218 These two] [https://web.archive.org/web/20071117004148/http://www.dragon-tails.com/comics/archive.php?date=991219 Dragon-Tails comics] say it all.
== There is not one Santa, but an army of clones ==
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== Santa is a NINJA!! ==
Ninjas cannot be seen. Santa is never seen. Ninjas are quiet, lending itself to the stealthiness needed for present distribution. How quiet can a fat man going down a chimney be?
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20101119144729/http://askaninja.com/news/2006/01/05/ask-a-ninja-question-2-ninja-santa Confirmed]
== Santa ''used to be'' Satan. ==
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This is how they manage to steal human children. The children invite Snta into the house, even give him offerings and Santa leaves a "gift" Santa can enter the house because he is a human (or was once) This means that the elves can enter your home whenever they like and steal your kids because they are invited and you have their stuff
== Santa is actually [[The Lord of the Rings|Sauron]]. ==
Think about it. Sauron once claimed to be "Annatar, Lord of Gifts." Both Santa and "Annatar" are on good terms with the Elves, and both Santa and "Annatar" give you what you desire with no obvious strings attached.
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