Magic: The Gathering/Funny: Difference between revisions
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== Storylines == |
== Storylines == |
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* The webcomic ''[http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Multiverse/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom |
* The webcomic ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20130625053036/http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Multiverse/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom%2Ffeature2%2F56a Journey to the Eye]'' part 1. It's not easy to find a good guide to travel in a [[Death World]]... |
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* ''[http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Multiverse/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom |
* ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20140118160617/http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Multiverse/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom%2Ffeature2%2F141a Dark Discoveries]'' part 1. Don't butt into Tezzeret's business; he doesn't like it. |
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Cards are not popular just for their effects, [[Game Breaker|brokenness]] or artwork. Many cards find their ways into players' hearts because the [[Flavor Text]] accompanying the card ties everything together and is often hilarious. |
Cards are not popular just for their effects, [[Game Breaker|brokenness]] or artwork. Many cards find their ways into players' hearts because the [[Flavor Text]] accompanying the card ties everything together and is often hilarious. |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=185820 Counterspell (Jace vs. Chandra)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=185820 Counterspell (Jace vs. Chandra)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest.''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=234075 Incinerate (Magic 2012)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=234075 Incinerate (Magic 2012)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flame, someone wanted you to." --Chandra Nalaar''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=4063 And lest we forget its classic version (Ice Age-Tenth Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=4063 And lest we forget its classic version (Ice Age-Tenth Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Yes, I think ‘toast' is an appropriate description." --Jaya Ballard, task mage''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45394 Inferno (Eight Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45394 Inferno (Eight Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." --Jaya Ballard, task mage''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45358 Sizzle] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45358 Sizzle] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight ''everything'' with fire." --Jaya Ballard, task mage''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=134749 Discombobulate (Onslaught/10th Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=134749 Discombobulate (Onslaught/10th Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"I said 'pick his brain," not 'tear off his head.'"''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=157923 Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician (Time Spiral/Elves vs. Goblins)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=157923 Ib Halfheart, Goblin Tactician (Time Spiral/Elves vs. Goblins)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Everybody [[Dirty Coward|but me]]--CHARGE!"''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=205388 Goblin Offensive (Urza's Saga)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=205388 Goblin Offensive (Urza's Saga)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''They certainly are.''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=233183 Stranglehold (Commander)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=233183 Stranglehold (Commander)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''The correct answer to a barbarian's riddle is to choke on your own cleverness and die.''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=89086 Hunted Dragon (Ravnica)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=89086 Hunted Dragon (Ravnica)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''The knights see [[Worthy Opponent|a worthy quarry]]. The dragon sees [[Gallows Humor|breakfast, lunch, and dinner]].''}} |
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* Any quote related to goblins is bound to be this. Just to name a few: |
* Any quote related to goblins is bound to be this. Just to name a few: |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45467 Fodder Cannon (Urza's Destiny)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45467 Fodder Cannon (Urza's Destiny)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''Step 1: Find your cousin.'' |
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''Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.'' |
''Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.'' |
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''Step 3: Find another cousin.'' }} |
''Step 3: Find another cousin.'' }} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=208010 Goblin Balloon Brigade (Magic 2011)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=208010 Goblin Balloon Brigade (Magic 2011)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''[[Crazy Awesome|"The enemy is getting too close! Quick! Inflate the toad!"]]''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=44656 Goblin Assassin (Legions)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=44656 Goblin Assassin (Legions)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''The more victims he kills, the more likely he is to get the right one.''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45123 Goblin Lookout (Legions)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45123 Goblin Lookout (Legions)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Throw rocks at 'em! Throw spears at 'em! [[Grievous Harm with a Body|Throw Furt at 'em!]]"''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=39483 Wave of Indifference (Onslaught)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=39483 Wave of Indifference (Onslaught)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Darius?" |
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"Yeah?" |
"Yeah?" |
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"There's a goblin sneaking up on you." |
"There's a goblin sneaking up on you." |
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"So?" |
"So?" |
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"Just sayin'."'' }} |
"Just sayin'."'' }} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=42026 Synapse Sliver (Legions)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=42026 Synapse Sliver (Legions)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Species XR 17 feeds upon the mental energies of its victims. This explains why the goblins remain unaffected."''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129582 Goblin Sky Raider (Tenth Edition)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129582 Goblin Sky Raider (Tenth Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"The goblin word for "flying" is more accurately translated as "falling slowly."''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=96960 Tin Street Hooligan (Guildpact)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=96960 Tin Street Hooligan (Guildpact)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Rauck-Chauv's like a holiday! Only [[Dissimile|it isn't on the calendars, and instead of dancing you knock people flat, and instead of giving gifts you break stuff]]."''}} |
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** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=6494 Town Sentry (Portal: Second Age)] |
** [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=6494 Town Sentry (Portal: Second Age)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"So he's got a sword. Big deal."'' |
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''"Yeah it's a big deal--it's a big sword!"'' }} |
''"Yeah it's a big deal--it's a big sword!"'' }} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=222186 Tormented Pariah ("moon" side) (Innistrad)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=222186 Tormented Pariah ("moon" side) (Innistrad)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Just look at him, groveling on all fours! What a pathetic--[[Oh Crap|uh-oh]]."''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129663 Orcish Artillery (Tenth Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=129663 Orcish Artillery (Tenth Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"So they want to kill my men? Well [[We Have Reserves|two can play at that game]]." --[[Colonel Kilgore|General Khurzog]]''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=9751 Handcuffs (Unglued)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=9751 Handcuffs (Unglued)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"[[BDSM|That]] [[Does This Remind You of Anything?|was fun! Now me.]]"''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45396 Obliterate (Eight Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45396 Obliterate (Eight Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"The enemy has been destroyed, sir. [[There Is No Kill Like Overkill|So have the forest, the city, your palace]], [[And Your Little Dog, Too|your dog]]..." --Keldon soldier''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=97207 Killer Instinct (Guildpact)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=97207 Killer Instinct (Guildpact)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''[[Attack! Attack! Retreat! Retreat!|"Take the bridge, men! Victory! Victory is ou—Retreat! RETREAT!"]]''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=208000 Canyon Minotaur (2011 Core)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=208000 Canyon Minotaur (2011 Core)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side."'' |
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''"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"'' |
''"Isn't the shortest route through the canyon?"'' |
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''"Yes."'' |
''"Yes."'' |
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''"So shouldn't we—"'' |
''"So shouldn't we—"'' |
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''"No."'' }} |
''"No."'' }} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=4747 Aluren (Tempest)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=4747 Aluren (Tempest)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''Squee bounced up and down. "I sees a horsey, an' a piggy, an' a—"'' |
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''"If you don't shut up," hissed Mirri, "you'll see a kidney and a spleeny."'' }} |
''"If you don't shut up," hissed Mirri, "you'll see a kidney and a spleeny."'' }} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=221171 Deranged Assistant (Innistrad)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=221171 Deranged Assistant (Innistrad)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Garl, adjust the slurry dispensers. Garl, fetch more corpses. Garl, quit crying and give me your brain tissue. If he doesn't stop being so rude, I'm quitting."''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Discussion.aspx?multiverseid=9706 Wheel of Torture (Urza's Legacy)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Discussion.aspx?multiverseid=9706 Wheel of Torture (Urza's Legacy)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''[[Wheel of Fortune|"I'd like to buy a]] [[Incredibly Lame Pun|bowel."]]''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=29980 Gorilla Titan]'s flavor text was on both the [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/daily/mr13 "most liked Odyssey flavor text" and "most hated Odyssey flavor text" lists]. |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=29980 Gorilla Titan]'s flavor text was on both the [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/daily/mr13 "most liked Odyssey flavor text" and "most hated Odyssey flavor text" lists]. |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"I want a banana'' this ''big!"''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=83471 Blackmail (9th Edition)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=83471 Blackmail (9th Edition)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''In addition to killing peasants, punishing subordinates, and raising an army of nightmares, Braids somehow found time for her favorite hobby: [[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|petty extortion]].''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=243435 Alaborn Cavalier] and his [[BFG]]: |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=243435 Alaborn Cavalier] and his [[BFG]]: |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''"Course he ran! ''I'' wouldn't want to stare down that barrel, either!" --Alaborn Soldier''}} |
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* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=15221 Taunting Elf (Urza's Destiny)] |
* [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=15221 Taunting Elf (Urza's Destiny)] |
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{{quote| |
{{quote|''Much to Multani's chagrin, [[Troll|Rofellos]] [[Trash Talk|gleefully tutored Yavimaya's elves on the rudest and most vulgar words spoken in Llanowar]].''}} |
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* During the launch party for Unglued (the joke set that makes fun of ''Magic'' itself), Mark Rosewater took the role of a judge...while wearing a chicken suit. He wore a donkey suit for the release of the sequel set, Unhinged. On a related note, Mark also made a list of his favorite funny quotes from the players at the Unglued launch party, found [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/daily/mr137 Here] (at the end). |
* During the launch party for Unglued (the joke set that makes fun of ''Magic'' itself), Mark Rosewater took the role of a judge...while wearing a chicken suit. He wore a donkey suit for the release of the sequel set, Unhinged. On a related note, Mark also made a list of his favorite funny quotes from the players at the Unglued launch party, found [http://www.wizards.com/Magic/Magazine/Article.aspx?x=mtgcom/daily/mr137 Here] (at the end). |
||
* Anytime you and your friends play a game of Magic where Unglued or Unhinged is included. Anytime. Just an example: |
* Anytime you and your friends play a game of Magic where Unglued or Unhinged is included. Anytime. Just an example: |
||
{{quote| |
{{quote|''(on turn 3)'' |
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'''Friend 1:''' ''(stoic)'' For 3 mana, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=74300 Farewell to Arms]. Right hand. Go. |
'''Friend 1:''' ''(stoic)'' For 3 mana, [http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid{{=}}74300 Farewell to Arms]. Right hand. Go. |
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'''Friends 2:''' ''(manages to go through his turn with his right hand behind his back)'' Go. |
'''Friends 2:''' ''(manages to go through his turn with his right hand behind his back)'' Go. |
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'''Friend 1:''' ''(still stoic)'' For 3 mana, Farewell to Arms. Left hand. ''([[Psychotic Smirk|smiles]])'' Play with your feet, motherfucker. }} |
'''Friend 1:''' ''(still stoic)'' For 3 mana, Farewell to Arms. Left hand. ''([[Psychotic Smirk|smiles]])'' Play with your feet, motherfucker. }} |
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{{worksubpagefooter}} |
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{{reflist}} |
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[[Category:Tabletop Games/Funny]] |
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[[Category:Magic The Gathering]] |
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[[Category:Funny]] |
Latest revision as of 15:35, 20 October 2022
Storylines
- The webcomic Journey to the Eye part 1. It's not easy to find a good guide to travel in a Death World...
- Dark Discoveries part 1. Don't butt into Tezzeret's business; he doesn't like it.
Flavor Text
Cards are not popular just for their effects, brokenness or artwork. Many cards find their ways into players' hearts because the Flavor Text accompanying the card ties everything together and is often hilarious.
The pyromancer summoned up her mightiest onslaught of fire and rage. Jace feigned interest. |
"Spontaneous combustion is a myth. If you burst into flame, someone wanted you to." --Chandra Nalaar |
"Yes, I think ‘toast' is an appropriate description." --Jaya Ballard, task mage |
"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." --Jaya Ballard, task mage |
"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire." --Jaya Ballard, task mage |
"I said 'pick his brain," not 'tear off his head.'" |
"Everybody but me--CHARGE!" |
They certainly are. |
The correct answer to a barbarian's riddle is to choke on your own cleverness and die. |
The knights see a worthy quarry. The dragon sees breakfast, lunch, and dinner. |
- Any quote related to goblins is bound to be this. Just to name a few:
Step 1: Find your cousin. |
The more victims he kills, the more likely he is to get the right one. |
"Throw rocks at 'em! Throw spears at 'em! Throw Furt at 'em!" |
"Darius?" |
"Species XR 17 feeds upon the mental energies of its victims. This explains why the goblins remain unaffected." |
"The goblin word for "flying" is more accurately translated as "falling slowly." |
"Rauck-Chauv's like a holiday! Only it isn't on the calendars, and instead of dancing you knock people flat, and instead of giving gifts you break stuff." |
"So he's got a sword. Big deal." |
"Just look at him, groveling on all fours! What a pathetic--uh-oh." |
"So they want to kill my men? Well two can play at that game." --General Khurzog |
"The enemy has been destroyed, sir. So have the forest, the city, your palace, your dog..." --Keldon soldier |
"We'll scale these cliffs, traverse Brittle Bridge, and then fight our way down the volcanic slopes on the other side." |
Squee bounced up and down. "I sees a horsey, an' a piggy, an' a—" |
"Garl, adjust the slurry dispensers. Garl, fetch more corpses. Garl, quit crying and give me your brain tissue. If he doesn't stop being so rude, I'm quitting." |
- Gorilla Titan's flavor text was on both the "most liked Odyssey flavor text" and "most hated Odyssey flavor text" lists.
"I want a banana this big!" |
In addition to killing peasants, punishing subordinates, and raising an army of nightmares, Braids somehow found time for her favorite hobby: petty extortion. |
- Alaborn Cavalier and his BFG:
"Course he ran! I wouldn't want to stare down that barrel, either!" --Alaborn Soldier |
Much to Multani's chagrin, Rofellos gleefully tutored Yavimaya's elves on the rudest and most vulgar words spoken in Llanowar. |
Tournament Play and other meta humor
- During the launch party for Unglued (the joke set that makes fun of Magic itself), Mark Rosewater took the role of a judge...while wearing a chicken suit. He wore a donkey suit for the release of the sequel set, Unhinged. On a related note, Mark also made a list of his favorite funny quotes from the players at the Unglued launch party, found Here (at the end).
- Anytime you and your friends play a game of Magic where Unglued or Unhinged is included. Anytime. Just an example:
(on turn 3) |
- Back to Magic: The Gathering