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{{quote|''"You're not an asshole, Mark. You're just trying so hard to be one."''|'''Marlyn,''' ''[[The Social Network]]''}}
Might or might not overlap with [[Jerk
His reasons might be because he is afraid to get intimate with other people because he simply assumes that the person will either die or betray him just like everyone else he has ever gotten close to. It might be because the person is being stalked by horrible demons, [[The Mafia]], [[The Government]], or some other dangerous and unstoppable entity and does not want to drag others into it. In more light-hearted media, maybe he just feels he has a reputation to uphold as a [[Jerkass]]. So rather than letting anyone get close to him, he behaves like a completely obnoxious douche bag to scare them all away from wanting anything to do with him.
See also [[It's Not You, It's My Enemies]], [[Defrosting Ice Queen]], [[Think Nothing of It]], [[Don't You Dare Pity Me!]]. May secretly be a [[Zero-Approval Gambit]]. Not to be confused with [[Mother 3
{{examples}}
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** Goku acted this way towards Uub during the final episode to bring out his aggression. In reality Goku is kindness incarnate, and simply wanted to see Uub's true power.
** Vegeta is also guilty of this. He acted as a jerk with (both incarnations of) his son, but showed signs of compassion nonetheless.
*** Vegeta was more of a [[Jerk
* ''[[Berserk]]'' - In the Black Swordsman and Conviction arcs of the manga Guts behaved in this manner because he has the [[Magnetic Plot Device|Brand of Sacrifice]], and therefore the demons are never going to leave him alone. While he is perfectly capable of defending himself against the demons, he doesn't want to have to worry about anyone else dying because of it. This gives the outward appearance that he is completely immoral, heartless, and downright sadistic. In one notable instance, Guts gives the daughter of an Apostle that he just killed a knife and tells her to kill herself (despite saving her life shortly thereafter.) She instead swears revenge on him. After he leaves it is revealed that he only said that so she would hate him, and to foster a desire for revenge that would give her a reason to keep living.
* It is sometimes hard to tell whether Asuka from ''[[Neon Genesis Evangelion]]'' is this or just a full-on [[Jerkass]]. At times she appears to legitimately care for Shinji, and seems to genuinely worry for him when he is in danger as he was in the "Sea of Dirac" incident. Other times she just seems to treat everyone like crap, though this may be in an effort to hide her low self esteem and self-loathing. The same can be said to a degree for a few other characters in the series like Gendo Ikari and Misato.
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** Roy <s> very well may be</s> ''is'' the best example of this trope - while the above details don't all share the same continuity, ''both'' continuities {{spoiler|feature Mustang as an [[The Atoner|Atoner]] who, in the process of acting like such a smug jerk that many people outside his inner circle - including the ''protagonist'' - dislike/distrust him, is determined to become Fuhrer and make up for his past misdeeds, even if it means that being tried for his war crimes will have him imprisoned or executed}}.
* Ryuuji, from ''[[Tokyo Crazy Paradise]]'' force-feeds Tsukasa expensive candies to drive her further into debt to him-- only the "candy" is actually antidote to poison.
* Yuuko of ''[[
* Oogami Rei from ''[[Code
** Naturally, his <s> stalker</s> companion [[Cute Bruiser|Sakura]] notices something's amiss when {{spoiler|Oogami had an almost tender look on his usually mask-like face when he euthanizes the dog}} and also when {{spoiler|he saves the dead dog's puppy, who takes an ''immediate'' liking to Oogami despite Sakura's protests}}.
* ''[[Gunslinger Girl]]''. Jean maintains a cold demeanor towards his cyborg Rico, and hits her whenever she doesn't perform to standard. Seeing as the cyborgs are all going to die before adulthood as a result of their conditioning, he has good reason not to get too attached, especially since Jean still feels the loss of his [[Dead Little Sister|sister]] Enrica. On rare occasions, however, this façade cracks, like when Rico is injured and falls into the sea during a battle and Jean desperately dives in to save her.
* In ''[[X 1999]]'' the protagonist Kamui Shirou is a [[Jerkass]] because he is involved in something big, namely [[The End of the World
* [[Bridge Bunnies]] Mayl and Tayl from ''[[Heroic Age]]'' chew the eponymous protagonist out behind his back for seemingly giving in to the [[Smug Snake]]'s plans and joining him aboard the fleet's flagship. But as surmised by the other characters and confirmed by Age himself, he's only doing this because the other Nodos will now be after him, putting any ship he's on in danger.
* {{spoiler|Ruka}} from ''[[Revolutionary Girl Utena]]'' arguably does this. {{spoiler|He deliberately spent the last week of his life making the girl he loved hate him with every fiber of her being, because it was the only way to get her out of the self-destructive holding pattern she'd been in for the entire series.}}
** However, he also did plenty of unnecessarily [[Jerkass]] things, such as {{spoiler|assaulting Juri sexually, and humiliating Shiori by destroying the one relationship she felt good about. He had wanted to discredit Shiori, but that's no reason to utterly ruin her life.}}
* {{spoiler|Mayoi Hachifuji}} in ''[[
* Itachi Uchiha of ''[[Naruto]]''. {{spoiler|He doomed himself to a life of being hated by his only remaining family, who he truly loved all along, along with the stigma of being a missing-nin AND part of an evil organisation, all while hating violence and combat, and was ordered to kill his family in order to prevent another war from breaking out but he spared Sasuke. His actions were partly motivated out of love for Sasuke, and he put on a cold emotionless front acting like he just wanted to kill Sasuke and take his eyes (which wasn't true of course)}} and unfortunately Sasuke only found out about Itachi's true intentions ''after'' Itachi died. [[Well-Intentioned Extremist]], anyone?
** Sasuke shows shades of this in part one occasionally before his [[Face Heel Turn]], most notably in the Land of Waves arc when he [[Heroic Sacrifice|jumps]] in front of Naruto to save him from Haku's attack, desperately thinking 'Please make it in time!' When Naruto asks him why he did it, he claims [[I Was Just Passing Through|his body moved on his own]], before calling him an idiot.
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* Alucard of ''[[Hellsing]]'' acts like a Jerkass towards Seras because it's his way of toughening her up until she becomes a true vampire. {{spoiler|When she does become one in Volume 7}} he gets a [[I Love You, Vampire Son|little nicer]].
** He's still quite the bastard to anyone that isn't Integra, Seras, or the Queen, though...and the first thing he says to Seras after {{spoiler|disappearing for thirty years}} is "You're loud, as always."
* Minami, the bishonen male lead of ''[[
* Leorio in [[Hunter X Hunter]] actively cultivates an image of greedy lechery (well, he ''is'' a [[Handsome Lech]]...), because he doesn't want people to think of him as soft. However, the reason he always insists on the best prices and payment for everything? He wants to become so rich that he can afford to give any patient treatment (no matter how expensive) for free.
* Great in [[Violinist of Hameln: Shchelkunchik]] keeps complaining that everything is a pain, is a [[Deadpan Snarker]] to the Nth degree, taunts a foot tall fairy for being flat and goes so far as to slap a classmate for being "too friendly" to him. Dig in a little deeper, and you have one of the most dependable, trustworthy and mature(!) characters in the setting.
* Alex from ''[[Nightschool]]'' initially comes across as an [[Little Miss Snarker|overly snarky, antisocial preteen]] with a strong aversion to admitting that she actually cares about anything. She has a very good reason for her behavior, though. {{spoiler|She's been cursed so that anything or anyone that she says she likes or loves gets destroyed. Even without those words, showing affection means risking the subject coming to harm in some way.}}
* Trip from ''[[Pokémon (
* [[Deconstructed Trope|Deconstructed]] in ''[[Hajime no Ippo]]''. Kojima is a big fans of Ippo, so when he fights aginst Ippo, in order to make Ippo fight him seriously and to psych himself up, he deliberately insults Ippo and his coach. Apparently, the result is too well, {{spoiler|the fight ended in two clean blows, first blow is [[Counter Attack]] from Kojima and the second is Ippo's [[Counter Attack]] against Kojima's attack which resulted in [[One Hit KO]]}}. To make the things worse, even without those insults, Ippo will stay fight at his best despite his [[Nice Guy]] demeanor, {{spoiler|and thanks to the nature of the [[One Hit KO]], Kojima can't remember his fight with Ippo, something he deeply regrets}}.
* Though not so much in the anime, {{spoiler|Shigure Sohma}} is this in the manga of [[Fruits Basket]]. It takes a special kind of Jerkass to {{spoiler|imply to others that you know the way to break a centuries-long curse that everyone is desperate to be free from, and withhold that information from your younger, more desperate cousins. Then, when exiled from the family for banging the mother of the rather temperamental Sohma leader (whom you really love), manipulate a rather harmless young woman who has absolutely nothing to do with your fucked up family into setting off events that will break the curse. But everything will be okay and the [[Draco in Leather Pants|fandom will forgive you]] once everyone realizes you did it for everyone's right..? Right...?}}.
* By the end of the first episode/chapter of [[Brave 10]], Saizou is clearly this trope.
* Osamu Sugo ''[[
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* In an early ''[[Spider-Man]]'' story Peter Parker started acting like a jerk around Betty Brant so that she wouldn't want to be in a relationship with him anymore. Betty had lost her brother who kept getting himself into danger, and Peter didn't want her to have to face a similar situation with her boyfriend.
** Spider-man initially treated the [[X-Men]] this way too.
* Dr Allison Mann in ''[[Y:
* Believe it or not, ''[[
* Night Thrasher sometimes came off as a [[Jerkass]] to the rest of the [[New Warriors]] and got kicked off the team twice as a result.
** Inverted after ''[[Civil War (Comic Book)|Civil War]]'' where his brother is somewhat of a dick but everyone loves him anyway, except Jubilee, who isn't liked by her teammates because she's the only who doesn't put up with him.
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** Nightwing can be a jerkass himself (guess where he got that from). However, [[Poke the Poodle|he's pretty bad at it]]. He once tried that and started crying because unlike Bruce he is a lot more emotional. Probably the reason he is liked more than his mentor.
*** Arsenal has the whole jerk facade but he does that to hide his insecurities and even when he is a jerk he is still not that bad. Sadly, it seems that he's become a genuine Jerkass in ''Rise of Arsenal'' {{spoiler|in the wake of his daughter's death, the loss of his arm, and falling back into drug abuse.}}
** [[Depending
* ''[[Usagi Yojimbo]]'' has Stray Dog, a hard ass nails [[Bounty Hunter]] who seems to be an underhanded backstabber, but he is secretly also a beloved supporter of an [[Orphanage of Love]].
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== Films -- Animated ==
* Mr. Nebbercracker from the film ''[[Monster House]]'' is actually a very nice old man, but deliberately acts mean and cranky. He does this to keep children away from the Monster House so it won't attack them.
* [[Shrek]] pretends to be a bloodthirsty monster of an Ogre so that he can be left alone. Moreover, despite being [[Good Is Not Nice|fairly abrasive]], he [[Jerk
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* Christopher Nolan's [[The Dark Knight|Batman film reboot]] has Batman deciding Bruce Wayne should be an arrogant, lazy, alcoholic, philandering [[Jerkass]] [[Rich Idiot With No Day Job]] (imagine Paris Hilton as a guy), both in order to deflect suspicions that he's really Batman, and to prevent long-lasting relationships from developing (which also helps keep suspicion down). There was also an element of him "saving himself" for Rachel.
** He specifically invokes this to get the innocent party guests out of his house, and thus out of harms way, calling everyone present a bunch of moochers and hangers-on. Ouch. Its a wonder he was able to get them back for that fundraising party in the second movie.
* ''[[
* The title character in ''[[Good Will Hunting]]'' very much fits this trope.
* Stepanak in ''[[Down Periscope]]'' actively tries to sabotage his Navy career and get kicked off the ''Stingray'' by being an unhelpful, snarky and insubordinate [[Jerkass]]. Later, when given an opportunity to reveal their location during [[Silent Running Mode]], he stays quiet. His CO actually calls him on it.
{{quote| '''Cmdr. Tom Dodge''': You missed a hell of an opportunity. One peep outta you and we woulda been in a lot of trouble.<br />
'''Stepanak''': No, sir. That would've been unethical. I'm only out to screw myself. [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|That would've screwed everybody.]] }}
* Edward Cullen early in ''[[Twilight (
** Bella's blood is [[Supernaturally Delicious and Nutritious]], so he'd probably never been tempted that much before.
* Like the page quote says, [[The Social Network]] teases that [[Insufferable Genius|Mark]] may be this. {{spoiler|Although he communciates to people rudely in the film, he genuinely seems like he just wants friends & for Facebook to succeed, and cares for his friend, even though he might have screwed him out of a deal, he still realized what he done & tries to friend Erica after being somewhat rude to her throughout the film.}}
* Grouchy Smurf in ''[[The Smurfs (
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* Rand al'Thor pulls this trick a few times early in ''The [[Wheel of Time]]'', to distance himself from his friends out of fear he may harm them. Unfortunately, as time goes on, events conspire to make this much less of a facade.
** Also, it doesn't help that the [[Unwanted Harem|women that love him]] can see right through the facade.
* This pops up in ''[[Discworld]]'' from time to time: most of the main characters fall into this, including the witch Granny Weatherwax (a gruff bitchy old woman with biting sarcasm who's too proud to admit how much she likes her friends, but who is never mean to anyone who can't fight back or doesn't deserve it), and pre-''[[Discworld
* In [[Dean Koontz]]'s ''Hideaway'', the character Regina does this briefly because she is afraid that Hatch and Lindsey will only adopt her for a little while before they get sick of her and bring her back to the orphanage, which will hurt her deeply so instead of going through that pain she tries to scare them off from adopting her in the first place.
* In [[Spider Robinson]]'s novel ''Very Bad Deaths,'' a main character is a natural telepath whose perceptions of others' minds are extremely painful to him. Fortunately, his perception has a limited physical range, so he just needs to keep his distance from others. In college he repels company, not by jerkass behavior, but simply by never bathing. Later in life that isn't enough, his range has grown longer, so he lives alone on an island off the coast of Vancouver, British Columbia.
* Puck from ''[[
** {{spoiler|Not to mention the fact that they are married in the future.}} He also cried at {{spoiler|His father's funeral}}
* Carnival from the ''[[Deepgate Codex]]'' series, so goddamn much. She tries her very hardest to act as though none of the people she knows mean much of anything to her, even after she nearly gets killed trying to rescue one of her best friends--but by then we all know better.
* Francis Crawford of Lymond in Dorothy Dunnett's ''Lymond Chronicles'' is pretty much the epitome of this. Every book starts out by presenting him as a heartless and obnoxious bastard before slowly revealing the [[Jerk
* This trope ''is'' Dante from ''A Rush of Wings''. He's completely justified, too.
* An unintentional version appears in ''~Brewster's Millions~'' and it's various adaptations; Monty Brewster is a decent and good-hearted man, but because he can't tell anyone why he has crazily spend a huge amount of money within a short period of time (it's so that he can inherit an even larger amount when he's done so), he frequently comes across either as insanely reckless or an irresponsible, feckless jackass.
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== Live-Action TV ==
* Sawyer in ''[[
** Kate does call him out on it once she realizes what he's doing, though:
{{quote| '''Kate:''' You try too hard, Sawyer. I ask you to help a woman who can't breathe, and you want me to kiss you? Nobody's that disgusting.}}
* May apply to ''[[
* Dr. Kelso from ''[[Scrubs]]'' hides behind a facade of Jerkassdom. Many would just write him off as ''being'' a Jerkass, but as shown in "My Jiggly Ball," (where it's shown that he puts on a happy face when walking around the hospital, but the moment he steps off hospital grounds he's just as saddened by death and sickness as anyone else) the choices Kelso makes actually affect him deeply - he just finds it a better working environment if his colleagues don't know. This is also proven in "My Chopped Liver," when Kelso's dog dies and he refuses to leave his office out of fear that others in the hospital would see him crying.
** In "His Story IV," it's revealed that when interpersonal strife starts to make the hospital staff less effective, Kelso deliberately goes out of his way to do something blatantly Jerkass-worthy so as to unite the staff in common hatred of him.
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** Jordan shows this too. She acts like she couldn't care less about everyone, including Cox. However, in later seasons she's genuinely supportive of Cox in his darker moments and acts as a mother figure to the other characters on occasion.
* Barney from ''[[How I Met Your Mother]]''. His selfishness and womanizing are just a cover up for his insecurities.
** Very similar to ''[[
* Similarly, Tony of ''[[
* Yuuto Sakurai from ''[[Kamen Rider Den-O]]'' comes off as rude, overly serious, and quick to anger (especially with his partner Deneb). As the series progresses, however, we learn that his ability to become a Kamen Rider comes with a hefty price: {{spoiler|each time he transforms, some of the memories people have of him are erased, meaning that the more he fights, the fewer people know he even exists.}}
* Lester from ''[[Primeval]]'' is in reality a fairly [[Benevolent Boss]] but [[Whitehall]] power politics (and that he is a bit of a [[Jerk
{{quote| '''Abby''': ''You know underneath it all you are really quite nice.''<br />
'''Lester''': ''Repeat that disgraceful slander and you'll be hearing from my lawyers''. }}
* ''[[Star Trek:
** [[Fridge Brilliance|Maybe he softens up after working in Starfleet for awhile.]]
** Emin Maritza from the classic [[Star Trek: Deep Space Nine|DS9]] episode "Duet." And how!!
* And let's not forget Doc Cottle from the reimagined ''[[Battlestar Galactica Reimagined]]''.
** The man is a walking, talking, last-cigarettes-in-the-known-universe smoking [[Crowning Moment of Awesome]]
* ''[[Degrassi the Next Generation|Degrassi]]'' offers up [[Defrosting Ice Queen|Holly J]] who thinks people want her to be mean, and that she's doing it for her friends, and as her favorite defense mechanism. Given she learned social order from her [[Alpha Bitch|borderline evil]] [[Aloof Big Brother|older sister]] [[The Ghost|Heather]], it's not much of a surprise.
* Major Charles Emerson Winchester on ''[[
* ''[[The Inspector Lynley Mysteries]]''' Barbara Havers - while she is genuinely brutally honest - is so deeply insecure that she developed this front as a defense mechanism. Lynley calls her out on it, and as time goes on, she's been able to let go of it more and more.
{{quote| '''Lynley:''' You don't have to do that.<br />
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== Video games ==
* Possible example: Albel Nox from ''[[
* Neku, from ''[[
** Even when he loses most of his [[Jerkass]] tendencies toward the end of the game (and in Another Day), he still tends to be quite the [[Deadpan Snarker]].
* Squall, the main character of ''[[
* Asuna/Flannery from ''[[
* [[Gratuitous French|Waka]] from [[Okami]] plays this up through most of the game, going so far as to outright [[Mini Boss|attack you]] the first two times you meet him for ''no'' justifiable reason except to be a [[Jerkass]] and tell you how Ammy's become weak (''despite'' the fact that you just beat him). He's constantly riling up [[Exposition Fairy|Issun]] and acts in such an untrustworthy way that the heroes aren't even sure which side he's on. When you're fighting the final boss, though, it's revealed that {{spoiler|he's been on your side the whole time and was working to protect Nippon from [[True Final Boss|Yami's]] darkness, performing a [[Heroic Sacrifice]] that almost kills him so that Amaterasu can finish Yami off.}}
* Silk Fox of [[Jade Empire]] is a caring and honorable person. She is also very arrogant, aloof, and dismissive of 'peasants'. The player has a choice over whether she keeps the facade when she {{spoiler|becomes Empress}} or drops it in favor of her actual personality.
** Sagacious Zu also goes here. Yes, he'll make a [[Token Evil Teammate|half-hearted attempt to encourage Closed Fist actions]]. Yes, he used to be a Lotus Assassin. Yes, he's [[The Atoner|attempting to assuage his guilt]]. Still, he will protect your [[Player Character]] and Dawn Star with everything, including {{spoiler|a [[Heroic Sacrifice]] that nearly destroys Death's Hand}}.
* Snake starts off like this in ''[[Metal Gear Solid]]'', a grumpy "Stick to the mission" type who apparently has little patience for romantic overtures and idealistic pursuits, but it's strongly implied - if not outright stated that he acts like this to protect himself from even more emotional/psychological trauma. He later softens up into a [[Jerk
** An even better example would have to be ''[[Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater]]'s'' {{spoiler|The Boss who is a fake defector. Neither Big Boss nor player find this out until ''AFTER'' [[Tear Jerker|they kill her.]]}}
* Colm from ''[[Fire Emblem]]: The Sacred Stones'' is like this, acting like a jerk and a common thief but [[Loveable Rogue|eventually showing a]] [[Sugar and Ice Personality|softer side]].
** Sanaki from [[Fire Emblem Tellius
* Zero from ''[[Mega Man X]]'' and ''[[Mega Man Zero|Zero]]'' straddles this with [[Jerk
* In some installments of the ''[[Dynasty Warriors]]'' series, this is part of Zhuge Liang's story mode. Other characters think he's a cold, scheming jerk, but he's willing to bear responsibility for some of Shu's more ruthless moves if it means Liu Bei's compassionate reputation remains intact.
* Rin Tohsaka from ''[[Fate/stay
** Archer also uses a jerkass facade on Rin and Saber, as he plans on killing his past self and then disappearing.
* [[Green-Skinned Space Babe|Liara T'Soni]] of ''[[Mass Effect]]'' adopts one of these between games both to operate in the galactic underworld and {{spoiler|due to guilt over handing Shepard's body over to Cerberus. Happily, she drops the facade at the conclusion of ''Lair of the Shadow Broker'' and becomes warm towards Shepard once again.}}
* Rizwan from ''[[Suikoden Tierkreis]]'' continuously abuses her daughter Manaril to use her power to read [[MacGuffin|False Chronicles]], which result is used to develop the Magedom's technology. {{spoiler|Considering how the Magedom works, she has to do this in order to survive, and in the end, she cares for her daughter all along.}}
* Shinjiro Aragaki in ''[[Persona 3]]''. Played almost humorously when he's unsuccessful, but becomes rather tragic when you realize just how far he's willing to go for those he cares about.
* {{spoiler|Eva Ushiromiya}} in ''[[Umineko no Naku Koro
* Tomoki in [[Canvas 2]]. {{spoiler|In fact, she's so used to it that she's scared people will hate her if she gets the surgery she needs and refuses to get it.}}
* {{spoiler|Dallas}} in ''[[
* The princess Lesteena in ''[[Eien no Aselia]]'' hides the fact that she's actually one of the nicest people in the cast by acting cold, callous and dismissive towards everyone. {{spoiler|When the king is assassinated, she drops the callous and dismissive parts and most of the coldness.}}
* Yaginuma in ''[[Kara no Shoujo]]'' acts like a jerk to keep people from getting too close to him as he can't bear a repeat of what happened to his sister. At first, this is an [[Informed Attribute]] but then during one of the endings we get to see him meet with Kuchiki Chizuru and he's actually fairly nice to her.
* Garrett of the ''[[Thief]]'' series. A genuinely noble [[Anti-Hero]] with a good sense of humour, but a certified prick on the outside. Nice people do not live long in [[Wretched Hive|the City]].
* Inspector Cabanela from ''[[Ghost Trick:
== Webcomics ==
* Abel from ''[[
* [http://www.awkwardzombie.com/comic1-090108.php The genesis] of one of these, courtesy of ''[[
* Diane of ''[[
* Eugene Greenhilt, or at least when Roy was 8, when he refuses to try to get Xykon with Right-Eye, because he reckons that Xykon would go after his family if things went South.
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* This is a common comical persona for many [[Youtube Poop]] makers, most famously [[Deepercutt]].
* Sasha Hunter in [[Greek Ninja]], and as it turns out, Hashimoto Daichi.
* [[
== Western Animation ==
* [[Theodore Tugboat]] of all characters in the episode "Bumper Buddies". Foduck playfully bumps him, not realising that it hurts so Theodore avoids him. When Foduck asks if they're still friends, Theodore's answer is "Foduck, I am not your friend anymore." [[The Narrator]] then says "I'm still not sure if Theodore meant it, he just didn't want Foduck to bump him anymore.".
* In [[The Movie]] for ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy]]'', {{spoiler|it's revealed that Eddy's greedy and selfish attitude was all an act to impress his brother, who is a bigger [[Jerkass]] then he (or anyone, even Kevin and Sarah) could ever hope to be.}}
* One episode of ''[[The Fairly Odd Parents]]'' brought this up for [[Rich Bitch|Trixie]], but it was never brought up again.
* During the first season of ''<nowiki>~Avatar: The Last Airbender~</nowiki>'', [[Anti-Villain|Prince Zuko]] puts on a mighty show of acting like a [[Royal Brat]] in front of his men, effectively earning their resentment... before [[Hidden Heart of Gold|risking his own life to save the ship's helmsman during a terrible storm]].
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{{quote| '''Ned:''' I know you! You're the guy at the hospital who reads to sick children?<br />
'''Moe:''' ... if this gets out, the next words you say will be muzzled by your own butt. }}
* Recent episodes of ''[[My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
|