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Line 1: {{work}} [https://web.archive.org/web/20131031095534/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/ Fontes' Rants] is a webcomic which primarily illustrates things the author ([[Captain Obvious\|Fontes]]) finds strange, funny, stupid, or downright infuriating in popular works of anime, comic books and video games, and even things he finds on [[Deviant ART]]. It also has cheap laughs from time to time. Recurring original characters include [[Author Avatar\|Fontes himself]], an unnamed [[Fan Girl\|fangirl]], [[Team Pet\|Tanooki the raccoon]], Fontes' friend Steven Worker, and Takeshi, Fontes' "son" by the [[Death Note\|Life Note]]. Line 7: * [[Ascended Extra]]: Luigi knocked out the Playstation Network with a [[Death Note]], gave Sony the idea for a rear touchpad, and kicked [[Batman]] off a building. * [[Ass Shove]]: Ever wonder [https://web.archive.org/web/20131001081045/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1395917/booting-up-the-booty/ how TMs work] in [[Pokémon]]? * [[Author Avatar]]: Fontes appears in the comic with characters such as [[Kingdom Hearts (video game)\|Sora]], [[Naruto]], and [[X-Men (Comic Book)\|Wolverine]]. * [[Badass Normal]]: Who climbs faster? Line 28: {{quote\|'''[[Super Mario Galaxy\|Luma]]''': Oh, yeah, gimme those starbits! I can't hold it any longer!!!}} * [[Fan Girl]]: No name given (yet), she was in the very first strip obsessing over [[Inuyasha]]. * [[Good Old Fisticuffs]]: Fontes [https://web.archive.org/web/20131001081051/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1440114/the-right-weapon-for-the-job/ plays] [[Skyrim]]. * [[Highly-Visible Ninja]]: {{quote\|'''Mook''': Stop at once! '''[[Naruto]]''': Hell no! [[Verbal Tic\|Bahleeeve it]]!~~<br~~ /> '''[[Metal Gear Solid\|Nearby "Box"]]''': sigh ...Rookies... }} * [[Hypocritical Humor]]: {{quote\|'''[[Guilty Gear\|Bridget]]''': You look like a queer, ya know?}} * [[I'm a Humanitarian]]: [[Skyrim]] [https://web.archive.org/web/20130801201913/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1452619/tastes-like-chicken/ again]. * [[Improbable Weapon User]]: {{quote\|'''[[Kingdom Hearts\|Sora]]''': What?! What's so funny?!~~<br~~ /> '''Fontes''': Just look at that thing!!!~~<br~~ /> '''Sora''': ...? ...Aww, [[Precision F-Strike\|fuck]] you, [[Square Enix\|Square]]!!! }} * [[Lampshading]]: Probably the main theme of the comic, actually. * [[Mundane Utility]]: "[https://web.archive.org/web/20140715045918/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1297871/colgate-who-needs-that/ Dai Gurren Dental Care]". Yes. * [[Power Glows]], but may not be safe to [https://web.archive.org/web/20120719055515/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1330068/the-dark-side-of-the-shins-part-ii/ use as a flashlight.] * [[The Power of Creation]]: The Life Note grants this to whoever uses it. * [[Stylistic Suck]]: How do you make fun of a [[Wii U\|gaming console with a stupid name]]? With an [https://web.archive.org/web/20120630112005/http://fontesrants.smackjeeves.com/comics/1216388/dumbest-strip-ever/ equally stupid comic strip.] * [[Team Pet]]: Tanooki. Line 50: [[Category:Meta Webcomics]] [[Category:Fontes' Rants]] [[Category:~~Webcomic~~Web Comics]]