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{{trope}}
{{quote|"Bolt Guard statistical assessment: Powerful. Smart. Handsome. Bolt Guard intent: Smack-laying in a downward direction."
|'''Jugger''', ''[[Nintendo Wars|Advance Wars: Dual Strike]]''}}
{{quote|"Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'."
|'''Michael McClary'''}}
A joke based on describing something mundane using such technical language that it takes the audience a while to work out what's being talked about.
Line 10 ⟶ 12:
Sometimes used as a form of [[Unusual Euphemism]] or to facilitate an [[Oops I Did It Again]] plot where someone assumes the technical explanation refers to something much more serious than it really does.
Can be used to implement a [[Tomato Surprise]], ("Their only weakness is [[Kill It
The number one all time most common
Compare with [[Description Porn]] and [[Purple Prose|Non Poetic Text Reflective Of Electromagnetic Waves Measuring Between Three Hundred Eighty And Four Hundred Twenty Nanometers]].
See also [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness]], [[Sophisticated As Hell]], [[Layman's Terms]], [[Blunt Metaphors Trauma]], [[Narrative Profanity Filter]], [[Call a Rabbit
{{examples}}
▲== Anime & Manga ==
* In ''[[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha]]'', Signum, an [[Artificial Human|artificial]] [[Human Alien]], does this in [[Audio Adaptation|the third Sound Stage]] of ''A's'' when she finds some of the cast trying to get Fate to sing on "that music terminal and microphone connected Device".
{{quote|
** Also in the ''[[Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
== [[Fan Works]] ==▼
▲== Fan Works ==
* Gohan in Team 4star's ''[[Dragonball Z]] abridged'' when he goes berserk.
{{quote|
'''Nappa:''' What?
'''Gohan:''' I'm gonna skullf*ck you!! }}
* An [[Eyrie Productions, Unlimited]] forum bonus, lampshading the [[Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy]]:
{{quote|
* In ''[[Kyon:
{{quote|
''*beat*''
'''Yuki:''' I attempted to use more words. It appears that the data was not conveyed accurately.
'''Kyon:''' C...can you try it again with less, maybe?
'''Yuki:''' Yes. {{spoiler|I like you. A lot.}} }}
* From ''[[Toy Story (franchise)|Toy Story]]'':▼
▲== Films -- Animation ==
▲* From ''[[Toy Story]]'':
▲{{quote| '''Buzz Lightyear:''' Unidirectional bonding strip.<br />
'''Robot:''' Mr. Lightyear needs more tape. }}
* From ''[[The Rescuers (Disney film)|The Rescuers]] Down Under'':
{{quote|
'''Wilbur:''' The epidermal ''what?''
''(The mouse nurses hoist a freaking ''chainsaw'' over Wilbur's hospital bed.)'' }}
* ''[[Star Trek IV:
▲== Films -- Live Action ==
▲* ''[[Star Trek IV the Voyage Home (Film)|Star Trek IV the Voyage Home]]'' has Dr. McCoy bully his way past hospital guards by shouting that his patient had, "acute post-prandial upper-abdominal distension," which is to say, "cramps".
** It's not even cramps - literally it's "swelling of the stomach after eating"...
* In ''[[Back to
** The [[Back to The Future The Animated Series|animated series]] continued these "Docisms", such as this one:
{{quote|
'''Clara:''' Oh Emmett, I love it when you call me honey. }}
* ''[[Howard the Duck (
* The second ''[[Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (
* Subverted in ''[[Big Trouble in Little China]]'', where Egg Shen uses what appears to be expospeak to clarify meaning something mystically as opposed to technically:
{{quote|
'''Jack:''' You mean oil?
'''Egg Shen:''' No, I mean ''black blood of the earth!'' }}
* The [[The Shadow film)|1994 ''Shadow'' movie]], set in the 1930s:
{{quote|
'''Lamont Cranston:''' Or... an Atomic Bomb.
'''Roy Tam''' Say, that's catchy. }}
* The 2009 ''[[Star Trek (
{{quote|
'''Sulu:''' Uh, no sir. I'll figure it out.
''(beat)''
'''Spock:''' Have you disengaged the external inertial damper?
'''Sulu:''' ''(looks embarrassed as he disengages the external inertial damper)'' Ready for warp, sir. }}
** [[Don't Explain the Joke|In other words, yeah, the parking brake was on.]]
* From ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]'':
{{quote|
'''Barbossa:''' There be a lot of long words in there, miss. We're naught but humble pirates. What is it that you want?
'''Elizabeth:''' I want you to leave and never come back.
'''Barbossa:''' I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
'''Elizabeth:''' ''(blank stare)''
'''Barbossa:''' Means "no". }}
* In the Bond movie ''[[
* [[Played for Drama]] in ''[[
* In ''[[National Treasure]]'', in order to avoid being instantly laughed off about the prospect of an invisible coded treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence, Ben instead describes it to Abigail as "an encryption" of "a cartograph" showing "the location of hidden items of historic and intrinsic value."
* The Coneheads from ''[[Coneheads]]''.
{{quote|
'''Otto:''' Yeah, sure. Take a lunch break.
'''Prymatt:''' ...consume mass quantities of molten lactate extract of hoofed mammals on a starched disk.
'''Beldar:''' Ah. Pizza. I shall enjoy! }}
** Reversed the gag in this example:
{{quote|
'''Beldar:''' A personal conveyance named after its inventor, an assassinated ruler, a character from Greco-Roman myth and a small furry mammal. }}
* ''[[I, Robot (
{{quote|
'''Calvin:''' My general fields are advanced robotics and psychiatry. I specialize in hardware-to-wetware interfaces to advance USR's robotic anthropomorphization program.
'''Spooner:''' So, what exactly do you do around here?
'''Calvin:''' I make the robots seem more human.
'''Spooner:''' [[Lampshade Hanging|Now, wasn't that easier to say?]]
'''Calvin:''' Not really, no. }}
== [[Literature]] ==▼
* ''[[Discworld]]'':
▲== Literature ==
** In
** In later ''Discworld'' novels, Mr Slant of the Guild of Lawyers would often say things in the Old Language (i.e. [[Canis Latinicus|Dog Latin]]) to give his interpretation of Ankh-Morpork's ''ad hoc'' legal system a veneer of legitimacy (for instance ''Acquiris Quodcumque Rapis'', "You Get What You Grab").
*** [[Violent Glaswegian|Vis-ne vi faciem repletam capite?]]
Line 108 ⟶ 107:
*** Lord Vetinari rules by one single law: ''Quia Ego Sic Dico''. "Because I said so."
** Leonard of Quirm has a strange habit of coming up with [[Punk Punk|Clock Punk]] versions of familiar devices and [[Giver of Lame Names|giving them very densely verbose names]]. For example, after inventing the first submarine:
{{quote|
*** This is [[Lampshaded]] in-universe in one book. Leonard is showing Vetinari his latest invention, and Vetinari is able to guess the name exactly by thinking of the longest and most lame name he can think of. In another book, Leonard admits that he's not very good at naming things.
** And let's not forget the description of [[Greasy Spoon|Harga's]] menu in ''[[
{{quote|
** In ''[[
** In ''[[
* [[Hank the Cowdog]], the canine narrating John R. Erickson's series of the same name, is given to describing his sensory organs as though they were sophisticated machinery:
{{quote|
* Pretty much everything in ''[[The Eye of Argon]]'' is (perhaps unintentionally) described in this fashion. As an example, eyes are probably more often referred to as "[colour] orbs" and "organs of sight" than just "eyes".
* As in other series which blur the line between fantasy and science fiction, Steven Brust includes coded references to modern things in the seemingly Renaissance-y ''[[Dragaera]]'' universe. In one memorable instance, there is a reference to characters eating "the house bread" with some kind of fish spread. In modern terms, this is bagels and lox cream cheese.
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Mom:''' Sorry, Tommy?
'''Tommy:''' I said, if anyone calls, Mom, I'll be down in the Big Field, with Pop and Chester and Ted. }}
* ''[[The Dresden Files]]'' has Harry describing a plant monster in narration as a "chlorofiend" because he feels silly saying "plant monster". It doesn't work, as he eventually has to use "plant monster" when everyone else wonders what a "chlorofiend" is.
* Often happens with Telemain and his [[Magi Babble]] in the ''[[Enchanted Forest Chronicles]]''; nearly all of it makes ''perfect sense'' if you happen to have a dictionary or [[Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness|someone with a very large vocabulary]] handy.
* The ''Temps'' story "Pitbull Brittan" by [[Kim Newman|Jack Yeovil]] opens with Brittan's papers regarding his transfer from One Para to the Department of Paranormal Resources. The DPR official is suspicious, believing "this is an oblatory equine situation, and we should acquire the services of a veterinarian dentist". (They should look the gift horse in the mouth.)
* In the ''[[Ethshar]]'' series, wizards can get answers to yes-or-no questions by using the Spell of the Eighth Sphere, which makes runes appear in a black crystal globe. In other words, a [[wikipedia:Magic 8-Ball|Magic 8-Ball]].
* In his essay, "Politics and the English Language," [[George Orwell]] once translated the famous passage from Ecclesiastes 9:11 ("I returned and saw under the sun, that the race was not to the swift...") into what he called "modern English of the worst sort":
** Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.
* ''[[Dark Future (
{{quote|
* In ''[[X Wing Series|The Bacta War]]'', Rogue Squadron has discovered that their old X-Wings are being surplussed out. Tycho notes to Wedge that the fighters are missing a critical part, the PL-1. Wedge asks him what a PL-1 is. Turns out that's bean-counter-ese for "pilot".
* As a side effect of his not-quite-perfect mastery of the English language, Ktch the Blue Lobster from ''[[The Butterfly Kid]]'' converts a common aphorism ("If you can't lick'em, join'em") into "If you can't run your tongue across them, merge with them", combining this trope with [[Malaproper]]. Amusingly, the (human) narrator of the book makes use of the mangled aphorism himself later in the book.
==
* ''[[Stargate SG
* In ''[[Dilbert]]'', Wally always does that. For example, transferring hundred of thousands bytes to an auxiliary support (he copied a file on a floppy disk). He even suggested to assign him the fast of testing the internet connection using high-requested servers (he intended to make watching porn his job!).▼
{{quote|
** Scott Adams actually advices managers lacking inspiration to do so in ''The Dilbert Principle''.▼
▲* ''[[Stargate SG 1 (TV)|Stargate SG 1]]'' uses this pretty frequently, most notably whenever an alien talks about guns (because they're unique to Earth; everyone else uses energy weapons). From the episode "Small Victories":
▲{{quote| '''Teal'c''': The replicators are impervious to Goa'uld technologies. They are however [[Kinetic Weapons Are Just Better|susceptible to human projectile weaponry]].<br />
▲'''Davis''': *visible confusion* <br />
'''Jack''': Guns. }}
** 'Undomesticated equines could not keep me away.' No matter how many times someone corrects Teal'c on this, he seems to persist in it. Upon hearing him say this, Jack accused Teal'c of trying to make a joke. Teal'c remained silent on the matter, though he did look a bit self-satisfied.
** Then there was the one where Teal'c told Hathor she should [[Unusual Euphemism|attempt procreation with herself]].
* In an episode of ''[[Roseanne]]'', when Nancy introduces her new girlfriend, the following exchange occurs.
{{quote|
'''Sharon:''' I'm a stripper. }}
* Characters on ''[[
* Spock and Dr. McCoy had this as a [[Running Gag]] on ''[[Star Trek:
* ''[[Star Trek
* ''[[Star Trek:
{{quote|
'''McCoy''': In plain non-Vulcan English -- we've been lucky.
'''Spock''': I believe I said that, Doctor. }}
* ''[[Star Trek:
{{quote|
''<beat>''
'''Dr. Crusher'''
* ''[[Star Trek
{{quote|
'''Seven of Nine:''' Space sickness. }}
** Episode "The Voyager Conspiracy"
{{quote|
'''Tom Paris:''' Learn while you sleep. }}
* ''[[
* A large majority of the dialogue between Hacker and Sir Humphrey in ''[[
{{quote|
'''Hacker''': I beg your pardon?
'''Sir Humphrey''': It was I! }}
** Also when Humphrey has been promoted and won't be working with Hacker anymore:
{{quote|
'''Hacker''': What?
'''Sir Humphrey''':I'm on my way out. }}
*** Which Hacker [[Crowning Moment of Heartwarming|tearfully]] misinterprets as meaning Humphrey is dying.
* In the ''[[MacGyver]]'' episode "Last Stand", Mac is holding some piece of equipment that he's supposedly going to use to fix up a plane so the bad guys can escape. When asked by his guard what the item is, he replies "Lateral... cranial... impact... enhancer", and smacks the guard across the head with it.
** In another two-part episode, Mac puts together an ancient device explaining at length what it does, defining it as an "optic pump". When the Girl of the Week asks what an optic pump is, he says, "a laser".
* More infamously, ''[[The Man Show]]'' (which, admittedly, has few enough merits) managed to collect the signatures of over 1,000 women in a petition to "end Women's Suffrage"
** In the comic strip B.C. the two chicks are picketing with signs saying, "Support Women's Sufferage!" Two of the guys watch them pass and yell, "So, suffer!"
* A trope much beloved by Robert Holmes, the writer of more than a few ''[[Doctor Who]]'' serials, usually to illustrate pompous stupidity. In "Carnival of Monsters", for example, arrogant aristocrat Orum says of the low-ranking Functionaries "Give them a hygiene chamber and they'll store fossil fuel in it." This is an Expospeak Gag on a line from the early 20th century, reflecting conservative class attitudes "If the workers had baths, they'd use them to keep the coal."
** Inverted in Holmes' "The Deadly Assassin". Rather than describe the Doctor's change of body by the rather more lofty "regeneration", a fellow Time Lord refers to them as "face lifts".
** In "Four to Doomsday", Adric displays both his scientific knowledge and personal immaturity to irritatingly ask for the "sodium chloride", when he really means the salt.
*** The same joke was later used in a Doctor Who spoof on ''Extras'', where David Tennant's Doctor defeats a ridiculous slug-like creature by throwing "sodium chloride" at it after spouting off lines of obvious expospeak.
** Sent up in "The Girl in the Fireplace", where the Doctor admits that he said "spatio-temporal hyperlink" because he didn't want to say [[Red Dwarf
** A non-Robert Holmes story, "The Idiot's Lantern", uses a Expospeak Gag.
{{quote|
'''The Doctor:''' Hope so. But just to be on the safe side though, I'll use my unrivaled knowledge of trans-temporal extrapolation methods to neutralise the residual electronic pattern.
'''Rose:''' You'll what?
'''The Doctor:''' I'm gonna tape over it. }}
** "The localised condition of planetary atmospheric condensation caused a malfunction in the visual orientation circuits. Or to put it another way, we got lost in the fog."
Line 192 ⟶ 188:
* A variant occurs in ''[[Babylon 5]]'': Garibaldi says nothing, but mind-reader Bester replies with "Anatomically impossible, Mr. Garibaldi, but you're welcome to try."
* ''[[In Living Color]]'' based a series of skits on this premise. Prisoners with big words can be [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJKS17TNv5I dangerous].
* This quote from Sheldon in ''[[
** ''That quote??'' The whole ''show'' is this trope, Sheldon in particular. What's interesting is you often get two sets of canned
** Actually seems to be that the people in the live audience laugh any time that complex language gets used as they assume it is a joke, or any time that Sheldon says a long line of dialogue.
** Another favorite, when he tries to trash-talk his opponent in a robot competition: "I'm given to understand that [[Your Mom|your mother is overweight]]. Now of course if that is the result of a glandular condition and not sloth and gluttony, I withdraw the comment. There are boundaries."
** Also, in the episode when Howard accidentally drives the Mars Lander into a ditch, Sheldon remarks, "I believe the appropriate metaphor here involves a river of excrement and a Native American water vessel without any means of propulsion", which was his way of saying "up shit creek without a paddle".
** Leonard explains Sheldon's relationship problems: "What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis?". The answer is, of course, screwed.
* In the ''[[Firefly (TV series)|Firefly]]'' episode "Out of Gas", River tries to explain to Simon why she forgot his birthday.
{{quote|
** Mal in episode 2: "And I'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."
* ''[[
* Pretty much the entire point behind the Coneheads sketches on ''[[
* Used a couple of times in ''[[
** Interestingly, "intercourse the penguin" [[Throw It In|wasn't in the script]]. John Cleese reacts with visible surprise and almost laughs.
* Quoth [[Insufferable Genius]] [[
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Rimmer:''' It's a rend in the space-time continuum.
'''Cat:''' ''(to Lister)'' What is it?
'''Lister:''' The stasis room freezes time, you know, makes time stand still. So whenever you have a leak, it must preserve whatever it's leaked into, and it's leaked into this room.
'''Cat:''' ''(to Rimmer)'' What is it?
'''Rimmer:''' It's singularity, a point in the universe where the normal laws of space and time don't apply.
'''Cat:''' ''(to Lister)'' What is it?
'''Lister:''' It's a hole back into the past.
'''Cat:''' Oh, a magic door! Well, why didn't you say? }}
* Inverted in ''[[Hogan's Heroes]]'':
{{quote|
'''Newkirk:''' Certainly, sir. It's broken. }}
* ''[[
* In ''[[QI]]'', to avoid setting the klaxon off by saying {{spoiler|porn}}, Jimmy Carr said that [[The Internet Is for Porn|70% of the internet]] is filled with "gentlemen's special interest literature" (a common euphemism, of course). It didn't work.
* In the Scottish sketch show ''[[Chewin the Fat]]'', there's a famous sketch where a surgeon is describing with eloquent [[Expospeak]] what happened to a patient who was shot. Each time, he's called out on it by the nurses who go "Ooooh!" patronisingly and make a certain hand gesture (which has undergone [[Memetic Mutation]] in Scotland) to show their disdain for pretentious wank. When his last sentence describes how the bullet ended up in the patient's "tummy", they're a bit disappointed.
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Faith:''' Yeah, plus all the screwing. }}
** Given that this is Faith, it could also be that she just wasn't really paying attention.
* On a web episode of ''[[
* In the ''[[
{{quote|
'''Prospective Buyer:'''You mean you crap out of the window? }}
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Rachel:''' I'm... considering having a minor procedure to repair my deviated septum.
'''Santana:''' ... so a nose job. }}
* ''[[
* ''[[House (TV series)|House]]'' does it sometimes to confuse patients or family. For example, he explained to the parents of a teenager patient that they will remove the underlying cause of the disease using a very common operation. Yeah, actually she was having an abortion, but House has no reason to tell them she was sexually active to begin with.
== [[Music]] ==▼
▲== Music ==
* The pseudo-medieval band The Lost Boys disguise one of their covers as "[[Lynyrd Skynyrd|Ode to an Unfettr'd Fowl]]".
* Kids' band Rosenshontz have this at the beginning of a song about teasing: "Branches from the nearby foliage and geological specimens may fracture my skeletal framework. However, inaccurate descriptions of my personality and/or physical features will never damage my psyche." In other words: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
** Granting that controlling such physiological reactions is often beyond the parameters of the conscious mind, I would nevertheless advise that you withhold secretions from the ocular region with regard to an irretrievable quantity of bovine suckling fluid.
== [[Newspaper Comics]] ==
▲* In ''[[Dilbert]]'', Wally always does that. For example, transferring hundred of thousands bytes to an auxiliary support (he copied a file on a floppy disk). He even suggested to assign him the fast of testing the internet connection using high-requested servers (he intended to make watching porn his job!).
▲** Scott Adams actually
== [[Puppet Shows]] ==
* Link Hogthrob, in one episode of ''[[The Muppet Show]]'''s ''Pigs in Space'', charges Miss Piggy with the important duty of utilizing the "independent heating-slash-unifying element" and the "horizontal equalizing plane". This wording is paramount in getting her to agree to ''ironing the laundry'' without her realizing it.
== [[Radio]] ==▼
▲== Radio ==
* ''[[Cabin Pressure]]'' gives us "rabbit of negative euphoria" ({{spoiler|not a happy bunny}}) among others.
* In one episode of ''[[
{{quote|
'''Graeme:''' That's...differently interesting. }}
== [[Video Games]] ==▼
▲== Video Games ==
** Blasto, the first hanar Spectre, does not have time for your solid waste excretions. He also has forgotten whether his heat sink is over capacity, and wonders [[Dirty Harry
▲* The ''[[Mass Effect (Video Game)|Mass Effect]]'' series loves this trope.
▲** Blasto, the first hanar Spectre, does not have time for your solid waste excretions. He also has forgotten whether his heat sink is over capacity, and wonders [[Dirty Harry (Film)|if the criminal scum considers itself fortunate]].
** Mordin's dossier has a lot of these.
{{quote|
21:47 - Scouts neutralized. Rentola treated for minor injuries. After assisting, Specialist Solus asks if failure to land undetected constitutes parameter shift. Commander Kirrahe suggests operation may proceed as planned. Specialist Solus suggests cloacal obstruction is in fact Kirrahe's cranium. }}
** In the third game, [[Wrench Wench|Tali]] will, at one point, get utterly smashed by introducing turian brandy into her [[Clingy Costume|environment suit]] via an "[[Insistent Terminology|emergency induction port]]" ("That's a straw, Tali").
* There is a "salvage" item (AKA: enemy loot) from the MMORPG ''[[City of Heroes]]'' called a "Temporal Analyzer", which is described as a wrist-mounted ''" chronal device that tracks the current fourth dimensional offset and velocity."'' If you give it any thought, it's obviously just a watch.
* The infamously difficult [[Adventure Game]] adaptation of ''[[The
* ''Freedom Force Vs. The Third Reich''
{{quote|
* ''[[Portal (
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oVpE40V9rE Excursion Funnel]
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE3B9uGnVlA Aerial Faith Plate]
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFRbGppLaUI Thermal Discouragement Beam]
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOH6BprN9FI Pneumatic Diversity Vent] <ref>not in the final game</ref>
** [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7V0HBwHfEw Repulsion Gel]
Line 280 ⟶ 276:
*** The [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KedNH3NrkGw Bot Trust trailer] (0:19) - "Unilateral Force-Induced Isokinetic Breakfast Trial". It's a robot using one arm ("unilateral") to flip pancakes — or, as the case may be, to hit himself repeatedly with a frying pan ("isokinetic": "of or relating to muscular action with a constant rate of movement").
** In-game, Wheatley attempting to "manually override" a wall. In other words, whacking it until it collapses.
* In ''[[
▲* In ''[[Final Fantasy XII (Video Game)|Final Fantasy XII]]'', when Balthier, Fran, and Vaan get their equipment back in the Nalbina Dungeons, combining it with [[Added Alliterative Appeal]]:
▲{{quote| '''Balthier:''' Ah! The prison repository of wrested relics and remnants.<br />
▲'''Vaan:''' So our stuff is in here?<br />
'''Balthier:''' That's what I said. }}
* Presea from ''[[
* Anything pertaining to gnomes in ''[[World of Warcraft]]''
* In ''[[Fallout: New Vegas]]'', after {{spoiler|being sold into slavery by the player character}}:
{{quote|
==
* [http://xkcd.com/444 This] ''[[
* ''[[
* Vaarsuvius of ''[[The Order of the Stick
** Roy returned the favor once; it's how V came to respect him enough to work for him.
{{quote|
I require this precise temperature since it is the minimum level at which necrotized epidermis has been proven to combust...
And I have reasons to believe that my mission will require the incapacitation of multiple post-organic hostiles.
'''Vaarsuvius:''' So... you need Fireball spells to toast the undead you expect to fight?
'''Roy:''' Did I stutter? }}
* ''[[Irregular Webcomic|Irregular Podcast!]]'' [http://www.irregularwebcomic.net/podcasts/podcast007.html#notesannotations annotations] explain [[G
{{quote|
* ''[[Starslip]]'':
{{quote|
* ''[[MS Paint Adventures]]'' is chock full of exotic terms for usually mundane things.
** And in ''[[Homestuck]]'', the trolls are particularily [[Self-Demonstrating Article|loquacious]] about it. In fact, using these for everyday objects is what differs lower castes from the higher ones.
{{quote|
GC: YOU M34N YOUR TO1L3T?
CG: WELL OOH LA LA.
CG: EXCUSE MY DISDAIN FOR YOUR BLUE BLOODED VERNACULAR. }}
** Perhaps the most beloved example: exclamation marks and question marks are called "shout poles" and "query hooks" respectively in troll culture.
* In ''[[
* In ''[[Bob and George]]'', Doctor Light has said things such as "Fornicating Feces" when annoyed.
* ''[[
== [[Web Original]] ==
* In the ''[[
* The [[
{{quote|
** Translation: {{spoiler|Oh, man!}}
* The [[Bastard Operator From Hell]] sometimes uses this one or another way. For example, "[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/05/26/bofh_2004_episode_16/ Total Component Fatigue]".
* The headline for [https://web.archive.org/web/20130312054205/http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/97054-Kick-Ass-Movie-Trailer-Delivers-Force-to-Hindquarters-Via-Foot this article] on ''The Escapist'': "''[[Kick-Ass]]'' Movie Trailer Delivers Force to Hindquarters Via Foot".
* In ''[[Suburban Knights]]'':
{{quote|
Cloak#3: You mean the machine-gun?
Cloak#1:
* ''[https://web.archive.org/web/20151102072716/http://commissarmuskeg.deviantart.com/art/Not-technically-inaccurate-339720186 Not technically inaccurate...]'' [[Fauxtivational Poster]] by CommissarMuskeg on DeviantArt. It's probably more than an average jerk GM would do. But funny.
{{quote|The sister stalks toward you, firelight glinting off of her form fitting cuirass with each step, her visage molded by unquenchable passions burning within. Her voice is a throaty purr as she promises you a heated evening. <ref>I.e. she approaches you with face contorted in rage, and pilot light of her flamer is ON. She is quite straightforward about [[Burn the Witch|what's going to happen]].</ref> }}
== [[Western Animation]] ==▼
* ''[[
▲== Western Animation ==
▲* ''[[Chicken Run (Animation)|Chicken Run]]'' features this after Rocky wakes up with a bandaged wing:
▲{{quote| '''Rocky''': Ouch! What happened to my wing?<br />
'''Mac''': And sprained the anterior tendon connecting your radius to your humerus. I gave her a wee bit of a tweak, Jimmy, and wrapped her up.
▲'''Ginger''': You took a rather nasty fall.<br />
▲'''Mac''': And sprained the anterior tendon connecting your radius to your humerus. I gave her a wee bit of a tweak, Jimmy, and wrapped her up.<br />
▲'''Rocky''': Was that English?<br />
'''Ginger''': She said you hurt your wing. She fixed it. }}
* ''[[Star Trek:
{{quote|
'''[[The Spock|Spock]]:''' I believe I just did. }}
* ''[[The Simpsons (
{{quote|
'''Homer:''' Say it in English, Doc.
'''Hibbert:''' You're going to need open heart surgery.
'''Homer:''' Spare me your medical mumbo-jumbo.
'''Hibbert:''' We're going to cut you open and tinker with your ticker.
'''Homer:''' Could you dumb it down a shade? }}
** Then, we get the reverse:
{{quote|
'''Lisa:''' Dad, are you trying to tell us you're getting a coronary bypass graft?
'''Homer:''' Uh...yeah. }}
** In another episode, Grampa doesn't realize he does it:
{{quote|
* When an attack by Boris and Natasha lands [[Rocky and Bullwinkle|Rocky the Flying Squirrel]] in the hospital, the doctor diagnoses him with a contusion of the cranium. Bullwinkle launches into an anguished revenge campaign upon hearing the severity of the diagnosis, not realizing that in layman's terms, Rocky has a bump on the head.
* Dr. Orpheus from ''[[The Venture Brothers]]'' often talks this way, as when he makes reference to his daughter attending an "electronic music recital" (she went to a rave).
* Happens on occasion with Edd from ''[[Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy]]''. A quote from the [[Christmas Special]]:
{{quote|
* Although not the smartest of characters, Bloo pulls it off in the ''[[
{{quote|
'''Mac:''' What?
'''Bloo:''' I drop this fake spider on Eduardo, he freaks out, and everyone runs away. }}
* In one episode of ''[[The Tick (animation)|The Tick]]'', Neil, a scientist, has managed to grow some dinosaur tissue in a lab, retarding its growth by keeping it in an acetylsalicylic acid solution. He accidentally eats the dinosaur tissue, and ends up turning into "Dinosaur Neil", a [[Attack of the
* Used occasionally by Frylock in ''[[
{{quote|
'''Frylock:''' It translates brain synapses and neural skull vibrations into audio speech frequencies.
'''Shake:''' Yeah, I got one of them too. It's called a mouth. }}
* Used in ''[[Futurama]]''{{'}}s Anthology of Interest I:
{{quote|
'''Nichelle Nichols:''' You're travelling in a specially equipped terrestrial transport module.
'''Gary Gygax:''' A school bus! }}
* ''[[
{{quote|
'''Spongebob:''' My what has a what now?
'''Doctor:''' Your butt's all better. }}
* Kowalski from ''[[The Penguins of Madagascar]]'' does this constantly, usually followed by Skipper saying "In English Please?"
{{quote|
An herbivorous nocturnal marsupial
In English please?
Uh... They only eat plants, they sleep during the day, and the ladies carry their babies in a pouch.
Oh. A Hippy. }}
** Not surprising in the least, as Jess Winfield is one of the uncredited writers. They're called "rennie jokes".
* ''[[Scooby-Doo]]'': Velma's description of a fog bank in
* In [[Justice League]]:
{{quote|
'''[[The Flash|Flash:]]''' Create a what? Do what?
'''Hawkgirl:''' Create a wormhole to suck away the bad stuff. }}
* Combined with [[Getting Crap Past the Radar]] in [[The Amazing World of Gumball]]:
{{quote|
== [[Real Life]] ==
* Any list of US Armed Forces slang will include the terms "cranial loopback" and "rectal-cranial inversion". If you can't figure it out, both refer to {{spoiler|having your head up your ass.}}
** In ''Give War A Chance'', P.J. O'Rouke writes that out of everyone in Saudi Arabia preparing for Operation Desert Storm "when it comes to truly not speaking English, it's impossible to top the [US] Department of Defense" which calls a metal nut (which goes on a bolt) a "hexaform rotatable surface compression unit."
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** Slight addition, the term "closed" also point that you can't change the future you come from in this type of path.
** That is, it allows only the "Stable Time Loop" sort of time travel. Time travel is usually presented as being a feature of a device (e.g. this box moves through time), but a closed time-like curve is a feature of the geometry of space-time that makes it impossible to create a consistent ordering of events (and thus makes "going into the past" somewhat meaningless), much like a Klein bottle has no "inside" or "outside".
* When helicopter pilot Michael Durant was shot down and captured over Mogadishu, he managed to frustrate his captor's attempts to interrogate him by doing exactly what this trope describes.
* There is a site on the internet dedicated to the dangers of the highly addictive compound [http://www.dhmo.org Dihydrogen Monoxide].
** [[Don't Explain the Joke|For those do not have basic understanding of chemistry or are simply too thick to get it]], dihydrogen monoxide is a chemical nomenclature of the chemical H₂O used by those who do have such understanding to illustrate the ignorance of the attentive populace, and analyse how the usage of language can generate misplaced and irrational fears, for the purpose of amusement. In other words, {{spoiler|it's basically another way of saying water, which most people outside science don't hear everyday and is only parody science}}.
** This even inspired, for a while, another website claiming to defend against the first's libelous claims, created by an organization calling themselves the "Hydrogen Hydroxide Anti-Defamation League", Hydrogen Hydroxide being another excessively technical name for {{spoiler|water}}, following the acid-base naming conventions.
** Wikipedia lists the official name for water as "water." But also lists [[wikipedia:Water (properties)|dihydrogen monoxide, oxidane, hydrogen hydroxide, and hydroxylic acid.]]
** ''[[
* The [http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/examples.html Plain English Campaign] has several examples.
* The medically alarming term "idiopathic" just means "We have no idea what caused this."
** That's ''more'' alarming.
** As ''[[House (TV series)|House]]'' puts it:
{{quote|
* Also used when people want to hide the true nature of their activities (criminal or not), such as [http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Importing-Data-the-WTF-Way.aspx the story described here.]
{{quote|
"So, you've got people retyping this directly into the database." }}
* Aerospace engineers sometimes jokingly refer to a hypothetical crash/explosion as an RUD (Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly).
** Or CFIT (Controlled Flight Into Terrain): a crash.
*** Okay, specifically a crash wherein the pilot accidentally flies into a mountain or somesuch, and the crash isn't due to the failure of some part of the aircraft.
** Or, for that matter, lithobraking, for a spacecraft crashing into a planet. (The term is a joke on aerobraking, in which a spacecraft runs though the atmosphere of a planet to kill its speed.<ref>Note that this applies both to interplanetary craft slowing down enough to orbit or land, as well as orbital craft trying to land</ref>
* Read some resumes, you'll see some interesting twists. "Director of Vertical Transportation" = Elevator Operator in a luxury hotel, for example.
** "Verified incoming deliveries, Maintained Warehouse facility, Distributed materials to auto repair facilities." for: "I worked at an auto parts store as the one who put stuff of the shelves and drove the delivery van".
** "Decision-making position at a produce marketing unit": Finding and removing fruit and vegetables that had gone bad at the supermarket.
*** Career counselors actually encourage this, since it can help people get a job they desperately need.
* One rumored modification of the French school sport curriculum included the notion of "constant-trajectory bouncing referential". Also known as a {{spoiler|ball}}. As for the "randomly bouncing referential", it's a {{spoiler|rugby ball}}
** The "bouncing referential" story is really a hoax stemming from an inside joke that was running in the University Institutes for Teachers Training. This phrase was never actually used anywhere, even though former education minister Claude Allègre contributed to revive the myth.
* In Czech, a common joke (or riddle) is to translate a proverb into scientific-sounding language.
* A popular phrase in Britain (it's used by Fred Colon in the ''[[Discworld]]'' novel ''[[
** Another British example: as an expression of surprise, "seduce my antique footware!" instead of "fuck my old boots!"
*** Similarly, "are you taking the clear golden liquid?/making off with the Michael?", (which may make more sense to non-Britons if you know that "taking the mickey" is a more polite of saying "taking the piss" <ref>"micturation" being itself an example of this trope, meaning piss</ref>) and "Robert's the avuncular figure in your life!" (or individual variants of it) are fairly common ways of expressing surprise or satisfaction in a deliberately OTT and camp way. Yes, the nights get long and boring in Britain.
* If a computer technician tells you a laptop isn't working because of "deceleration sickness," he thinks you're an idiot for not realizing someone ''threw it at a wall.'' Or, perhaps more commonly, dropped it from a significant height.
** Or PEBKAC (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) and ID-Ten-T (ID10T).
Line 431 ⟶ 425:
*** Or a "Carbon Based Error".
** Layer 8 of the OSI-ISO model is also often identified as the problem.
** And that's when you're lucky to not get into proposed ''Layer 9'' of the OSI Model.<ref>read: the [[Pointy-Haired Boss|Boss]] of the Layer 8 operator</ref>
** A coworker always used to refer to my occasional problems with work equipment as ESO errors. Equipment Superior to Operator.
** Then there is the classic 'wetware problem.'
* This is how many newspapers described Cheney's infamous "Go fuck yourself" to a Senator Patrick Leahy (a democrat). "Performing an anatomically impossible maneuver", "an illogical sex move", "gave advice on solo/self intercourse", and many others were used in family oriented magazines to describe his quote without actually outright saying it. Many who had never heard about it and were getting their news from the newspaper were genuinely confused.
* The [[Wikipedia]] page's for [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Baby_Got_Back&oldid=386849624#Synopsis Baby Got Back] attempt to summarize the lyrics. It begins with expospeaking "I like big butts and I cannot lie" as "In the opening verse, Sir Mix-a-Lot professes his affinity for large buttocks and his inability to disguise this fact from others" and only gets better from there.
** Ditto for an old revision of [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=C_Is_For_Cookie&oldid=11708149 C is for Cookie].
** The '90s rap song [[wikipedia:Got Your Money|"Got Your Money"]] has an equally hilarious page: "The song is initially dedicated exclusively to the world's population of attractive females, until ODB seems to have pangs of guilt for not including ladies who might be considered 'homely' or 'ugly,'"
** What takes the cake are usually rap songs, since they usually contain quite a bit of vulgarity or general raunch that even rap fans admit is pretty extreme. Take for example, the page for Lil Kim's song "How Many Licks?"
{{quote|
* A man is filling out an insurance application and one of the questions is "How did your father die?". His father had been executed by hanging, so he writes "My father died at age of 64. He was participating in a public function when the platform gave way."
* Doctors have made an entire list of ways to more or less insult their patients and make it sound scientific. Hysterical patients who just need to be quiet and go away is labelled PRATFO (Patient Reassured And Told to Fuck Off.) Another common one is Coporophagic Encephalopathy (literally shit-for-brains.)
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* Wikipedia on [[wikipedia:Sign of the horns#Heavy metal subculture|the heavy metal usage of the sign of the horns:]] "...the sign eventually came to signify, variously, that the one gesturing is rocking him or herself, is encouraging the recipient of the gesture to rock, and/or that he/she emphatically appreciates the rocking that has already commenced." Also counts as [[Sophisticated As Hell]].
* [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Ta0yFoNG8&feature=relmfu This] interview with [[Stephen Fry]] includes the following description of his drug use:
{{quote|
* The abbreviation "ADR" is a highly scientific veterinary term used in patient charts for decades to describe the owner's complaint, or presenting problem. "ADR" stands for... '''A'''in't '''D'''oin' '''R'''ight.
* The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority is currently undertaking a number of "vertical transportation improvements" at several of the subway
* From a site that sells [http://www.kleinbottle.com/specs_for_nice_klein_bottles.htm approximations of Klein bottles]: Non-metric topological manifolds may be considered ideal elastic objects, able to be bent, stretched, twisted, or deformed as long as nearby points in one space correspond to nearby points in the transformed version. However, Acme's Borosilicate Klein Bottles are physical instantiations of such mathematical concepts. As such, they should not be subject to transformations which substantially increase the material's internal stress tensors. Specifically, please recognize that dihydrogen monoxide has a coefficent of expansion which is negatively correlated with temperature near its freezing point, and thus expands when changing from liquid to solid. This increase in volume can cause stresses within a containing vessel. Borosilicate
* This trope can be a good way of telling that someone has reached their maximum capacity for fecal matter, especially if they're upset. Since people who are upset generally use shorter words and simpler
** Also, if a discussion is using simple terms, and someone uses more complex ways of describing it, then ''refuses'' to dumb it down, they're probably also full of it. [http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?postid=8220274#post8220274 For example]
{{quote|
Argument:
P ∈ X || A ∼ (Y ∉ X) ≠ A ∃ H ˆ (+ ∃ Nv = ∃)
Completely illogical.
Try again.... }}
:: Please note that this was the second time the simple explanation had been used, yet the "refuting" somehow got even ''more'' complex. [http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?postid=8221157#post8221157 A explanation here].
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:Exposition]]
[[Category:Comedy Tropes]]
▲[[Category:Expospeak Gag]]
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