Everything Trying to Kill You/Quotes: Difference between revisions
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|One of many ''[[Nethack]]'' death messages.}} |
|One of many ''[[Nethack]]'' death messages.}} |
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{{quote|The axolotl bites! |
{{quote|The axolotl bites! |
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@ "axolotl? What's that?" |
@ "axolotl? What's that?" |
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Specify what? axolotl |
Specify what? axolotl |
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A mundane salamander, ... |
A mundane salamander, ... |
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... harmless*. |
... harmless*. |
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@ "...? What's the asterisk mean?" |
@ "...? What's the asterisk mean?" |
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______ |
______ |
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<small>*except for Dudley.</small> |
<small>*except for Dudley.</small> |
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{{quote|This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If [[Killer Game Master|the game master wants to kill you]], you're dead. |
{{quote|This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If [[Killer Game Master|the game master wants to kill you]], you're dead. |
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|Head Injury Theater, [http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm Celebrating 30 Years of Very Stupid Monsters.]}} |
|Head Injury Theater, [http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm Celebrating 30 Years of Very Stupid Monsters.]}} |
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{{quote|Because if [[Dungeons |
{{quote|Because if [[Dungeons & Dragons|D&D]] has taught me anything, it has taught me that my laundry is just waiting to stab me in the face whenever I let my guard down. |
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|'''[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm Celebrating 30+ Years of Stupid Monsters: Part Two]'''}} |
|'''[http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm Celebrating 30+ Years of Stupid Monsters: Part Two]'''}} |
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{{quote|Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us. |
{{quote|Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us. |
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|'''Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica"''', ''[[Warhammer |
|'''Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica"''', ''[[Warhammer 40,000]]''}} |
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{{quote|So who is it this time? |
{{quote|So who is it this time? |
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'''Uncountable''' Tyranids? |
'''Uncountable''' Tyranids? |
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'''Unvirginable''' Daemonettes of Slaanesh? |
'''Unvirginable''' Daemonettes of Slaanesh? |
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I hope it's '''Unvirginable Daemonettes of Slaanesh'''. If [[Redshirt Army|I have to die]], I want to die '''motorboating'''. |
I hope it's '''Unvirginable Daemonettes of Slaanesh'''. If [[Redshirt Army|I have to die]], I want to die '''motorboating'''. |
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| An Imperial guardsman being savvy about how [[Warhammer 40,000|his universe]] works | ''Regular Marine'' [http://flashgitzanims.tumblr.com/post/47541587709/just-a-couple-talking-guardsmen-we-dont-know-or |
| An Imperial guardsman being savvy about how [[Warhammer 40,000|his universe]] works | ''Regular Marine'' [http://flashgitzanims.tumblr.com/post/47541587709/just-a-couple-talking-guardsmen-we-dont-know-or #41] }} |
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{{quote|Everything out there is trying to kill you, soldier. If you figure that out quickly enough, you might live long enough to pass it on to [[Red Shirt Army|the next batch of fresh casualities-to-be]]. |
{{quote|Everything out there is trying to kill you, soldier. If you figure that out quickly enough, you might live long enough to pass it on to [[Red Shirt Army|the next batch of fresh casualities-to-be]]. |
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|'''Private Mercio Grant''', ''[[Only War]] - Enemies of the Imperium'' }} |
|'''Private Mercio Grant''', ''[[Only War]] - Enemies of the Imperium'' }} |
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{{quote|'''Sam''': Is everything in space trying to kill me? |
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'''Niomi''': Space isn't trying to kill you. It's just that if you give it the chance, it won't pass up the opportunity. |
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|''[[Freefall]]'' [http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff3400/fc03347.htm #3347]}} |
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{{reflist}} |
{{reflist}} |
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[[Category:Everything Trying to Kill You]] |
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[[Category:Quotes]] |
[[Category:Quotes]] |
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[[Category:{{TOPLEVELPAGE}}]] |
Latest revision as of 18:52, 23 October 2019
Gordon: I don't understand! Why is everyone trying to kill me? I'm awesome! Are you all jealous!? — Freeman's Mind, when Gordon tries to figure out why the army is trying to kill him.
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Yugi: It's as though nature itself is just randomly trying to kill us! |
In Nintendo you control a little man who runs around the screen trying to stay alive while numerous powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him. It's a lot like New York. —Dave Barry
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The floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it. —GlaDOS, Portal
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Let's worry about more important matters, like why does the fire department want you dead? —Mike Fireball in his article about The Simpsons arcade game
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"R.I.P Player, killed by elementary physics" —One of many Nethack death messages.
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The axolotl bites! — Dudley's dungeon
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Abner: She used to be run by a dwarf named Kurtz, but he was killed by some bad clams. |
Othar Tryggvassen: Ha! It'll take more than being tied to a lit keg of explosives and tossed into a pit of acid filled with mutant, acid-resistant flying piranhas equipped with flame throwers and battle-axes while mechanical, missile-launching morris dancers armed with liquid nitrogen harpoon guns are overhead, riding giant, rabid killer bees with side mounted death rays to kill Othar Tryggvassen! —Turning the above Up to Eleven, Girl Genius
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Zola "Heterodyne": Avoid any floorstone marked in white. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not stand under any part of the ceiling marked in white. It is a trap that will kill you. Duck under any opening taller than one meter. It is a trap that will kill you. Do not touch any metal surface. It is a trap that will kill you. |
Oh my god, here comes a shark and it's gonna kill you |
All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and when they catch you, they will kill you... but first they must catch you. |
Holy shit! What a dream I was having! Louis Armstrong was trying to kill me! —Mrs. Lift, Throw Momma from the Train
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This brings up the first issue I have with D&D: There is no hope for you if you exist in this world. Nothing can be trusted. If the game master wants to kill you, you're dead. —Head Injury Theater, Celebrating 30 Years of Very Stupid Monsters.
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Because if D&D has taught me anything, it has taught me that my laundry is just waiting to stab me in the face whenever I let my guard down. |
Survival rule 502: Every hunk of rock is trying to kill you. |
Out there beyond that fence, every living thing that crawls, flies, or squats in the mud wants to kill you and eat your eyes for jujubes. —Col. Miles Quaritch, Avatar
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He will be a wild donkey of a man; his hand will be against everyone and everyone's hand against him, and he will live in hostility toward all his brothers. —Angel of the LORD to Hagar about Ishmael, The Bible, Genesis 16:12 (New International Version)
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An animated globule of molten lava, OUT TO DESTROY YOU FOR SOME REASON. Truly, EVERYTHING is out to get you. That's what you get for being a protagonist! —Lava Blob description, MARDEK Chapter III
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This rock, this sock —Wade Duck, Garfield and Friends
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Scott: Look out for that truck. It'll kill you. |
Dream Valley is constantly out to kill you. It's like Australia, Sunnydale and Ravenloft met at an orgy, and spawned this abberation, then woke up in the morning and freaked out when they realized Care-A-Lot and Disneyland had also participated. —Where I Watch: My Little Pony, post #72
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When I was a kid we played games where we had one life and every bird, insect and blade of grass was trying to murder you. —Yahtzee, Zero Punctuation
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You better pay attention or this world you love so much —Monk theme song
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"So you're walking through Hill Valley and every single thing you can imagine is out to kill you. Bullies, hoola-hoop girl, killer bees, and guys holding glass windows?...I never knew a hoola-hoop girl could be so deadly! Why does she want to kill Marty, anyway?...What are those guys doing with that window, anyway? And why are all these giant bees coming out! Give me a break! And what the fuck is Marty doing when he gets killed? It looks like he's having some kind of a seizure! I mean, I guess I'd have a seizure too if there were bees and hoola-hoop girls coming at me! I mean, just leave me alone! I'm trying to collect clocks!" |
Everything imaginable wants you dead. Even water faucets coming out of trees. Even the hands of a clock can kill you. |
Even when the battlefield gives us every advantage, it is still part of the universe. And this universe, never forget, despises us. —Daenyathos- "The Reliquerae Tactica", Warhammer 40,000
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So who is it this time? — An Imperial guardsman being savvy about how his universe works , Regular Marine #41
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Everything out there is trying to kill you, soldier. If you figure that out quickly enough, you might live long enough to pass it on to the next batch of fresh casualities-to-be. —Private Mercio Grant, Only War - Enemies of the Imperium
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