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{{tropework}}
British [[Panel Game]] based around pop music, named after the [[Pop Punk]] band [[Buzzcocks (Music)|Buzzcocks]] and the album ''Never Mind The Bollocks Here's [[The Sex Pistols (Music)|The Sex Pistols]]''. The most recent lineup consists of a different guest host each week, with Phill Jupitus and [[Noel Fielding]] as captains of the two teams of three. The two other members of each team are whatever musicians, comedians or other recognisable faces the producers can secure at the time -- there has been [[Lampshade Hanging]] about the poor quality of the guests on numerous occasions. On one notable occasion, Ordinary Boys frontman Samuel Preston got so snotty at this lampshade hanging, he stormed off halfway through the episode -- this, of course, just made the mockery more intensive (and he was replaced by someone from the audience who looked similar).
 
The show debuted in 1996. Mark Lamarr was the original host, and after his departure there were a series of temporary hosts, including Ricky Wilson of the Kaiser Chiefs and Jeremy Clarkson from ''[[Top Gear]]'' before Simon Amstell took over until 2009. Previous team captains were Sean Hughes (Series 1-10) and Bill Bailey (Series 11-21), each time taking the opposing side to Phill Jupitus.
 
The format was exported to VH-1 [[Trans -Atlantic Equivalent|for American viewers]].
{{tropelist}}
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=== This show provides examples of: ===
 
* [[Actor Shipping]]: Noel and Paloma Faith, in-show, largely for both being [[Cloudcuckoolander|Cloudcuckoolanders]].
* [[Author Appeal]]: Mark Lamarr is a big fan of reggae; when Jimmy Cliff was on the show he kept awarding his team points for "just having Jimmy Cliff in".
** Similarly, Simon Amstell is a fan of [[Patrick Wolf]]. When Wolf appeared on the show, Simon was ''ridiculously'' nice to him (by Simon standards) and [[OOC Is Serious Business|didn't mock him once.]]
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** And ''don't'' insult Michael Jackson in front of David Gest.
** Phill tends to get keyed up whenever the person in the lineup is very famous and he doesn't want to make any jokes at their expense.
* [[Beware the Nice Ones]]: Whereas Mark Lamarr tended to make jokes at the expense of his least-favourite artists, [[Ax Crazy|frequently concocting mock evil schemes to get them killed]], Simon Amstell spends much more time chatting to his guests of the week. Which in effect means that he spends much more time mocking them personally than Mark ever did (and much less time mocking the team captains, which Mark used to ''love'' doing.)
* [[Big Eater]]: Phill Jupitus, at least according to Mark's intro jokes.
{{quote| '''Mark:''' Phill cooked Christmas dinner for eight, but before he could eat it, some people turned up...}}
* [[Bilingual Bonus]]:
** Sean rattled off an Irish Gaelic phrase ("Thanks very much for the toilet, please.") in one episode as a [[Batman Gambit]] to pick one of the Nolan Sisters out of a lineup (she being the only one who understood it and couldn't keep a straight face).
** Bill Bailey speaking French while discussing The Kooks' criminal record.
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** And Jedward.
** Tony Hadley, both when he's present and not. Most of the jokes are about him supposedly being homeless after being bankrupted by the breakup of Spandau Ballet.
** [[Bill Bailey]] under Mark Lamarr's tenure, being called everything from '[[Half -Human Hybrid|a beast-man]]' and 'a [[Star Trek|Klingon]] nonce' to 'something found in a jar in Arthur C. Clarke's basement'.
** Donny Tourette. [[The Fool|Not that he noticed]].
* [[Camp Gay]]: [[John Barrowman]] very much embraced this role during his appearence.
{{quote| '''Simon:''' [[John Barrowman|John]] will not be able to help you with this question, because tonight he is playing the part of a stereotype.}}
* [[Cannot Tell a Joke]]: Mark Ronson's ''complete'' lack of comic timing during his episode as guest host.
** During Tim Westwood's turn as guest host, Phill pointed out that his bizarre speaking rhythm made it hard for people to tell when he'd said the punchline.
* [[Captain Obvious]]: In a discussion about John Paul II:
{{quote| '''Phill:''' But the Pope's a good man.<br />
'''Mark:''' [[Sincerity Mode|...Yeah, he is]].<br />
'''Sean:''' He's a ''holy'' man!<br />
'''Mark:''' Yes Sean, we know that, ''he's the Pope''. }}
* [[Catch Phrase]]: Mark introduced the first few series with "Hello and welcome to ''Never Mind The Buzzcocks'', the pop quiz that says..." followed by a pun based on a line from a song. Later, it was "Hello, and welcome to ''Never Mind The Buzzcocks'', a..." followed by a alliterative phrase like "rumbuctious ransack through the rainforest of rock". By series 10, it was "Hello, and welcome to ''Never Mind The Buzzcocks'', the comedy equivalent of..." followed by something painful, or in one case, "landfill".
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** Lauren Laverne came across as this on her appearence, first insisting that [[David Bowie]] was violently pursued by Avon ladies and then, when trying to figure out some indecipherable lyrics, came out with 'He's relating bananas to rock bands... from the seventies. It's just a thought...'
** Rick Wakeman of [[Yes]], especially when he and Bill Bailey do a live Intros round. In wizard outfits.
** [[The Goodies (TV)|Bill Oddie]]. From his bizarre insistance that Shakira was "sacrificing a kitten" to his attempts to sing "I Just Wanna Make Love To You" in the next lines round. Heavily lampshaded in the closing titles which were, as Stewart Lee had suggested "a series of slow fades, suggesting the passage of time", which made Oddie look utterly mental.
** Bernard Cribbins on the ''[[Doctor Who (TV)|Doctor Who]]'' episode.
*** "I like prawns, they're nice."
** Diana Vickers fell into this halfway through her episode during the "Next Lines" rounds. It's as if her brain black-ed out mid-sentence!
{{quote| '''Lee Mack''': Youtube, Facebook, Myspace, IM. What does "im" mean, at the end?<br />
'''Diana''': I, M! "im!" --Wha? }}
*** She also somehow skipped a beat during "Intros" round. It's gotta be with her being too "Northern," even being given attention by Lee Mack.
** Stacey Solomon was gleefully loopy during her episode. Offering her suggestion as to how a box of baubles and tinsel might have caused Wyclef Jean to break his hand:
{{quote| '''Stacey''': Maybe Christmas fell on him...}}
*** Even Phil had to comment on the "secondary weird" being inflicted on her by co-panelists Noel and Tony Law during the episode.
* [[Comically Missing the Point]]: One episode had [[Noel Fielding|Noel]] pointing out one of his favourite Jedward quotes on the reality show X-Factor.
{{quote| '''Jedward''': *imitated by Noel* We really wanted to be [[Ghostbusters]] but we weren't brave enough.<br />
'''Noel''': Like ''that'' was the biggest barrier. }}
* [[Cool Loser]]: Simon, all over. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4WlBZ_I8HE&feature=related Case in point] (Skip to 6:40 for hard evidence).
** And let's not forget his [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LJFQvPfgn0 authentic punk dancing].
* [[Country Mouse]]: Occasional jokes about Mark Lamarr being one due to his origins in Swindon, complete with Mark "slipping into his natural accent" (an exaggerated rural yokel accent).
* [[N -Word Privileges|C Word Privileges]]: Anthea Turner chastised Simon for using [[Country Matters|the C-word]], on the grounds that he can't say it because he doesn't have one.
* [[Deadpan Snarker]]: Pretty much ''everyone'', but mostly Simon Amstell.
** No. Sorry, but you can't be a [[Deadpan Snarker]] when you're wearing a bunny suit.
*** You can if you're Simon, [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch|dammit.]]
** He's not really deadpan anyway. He'll always smile gleefully as he destroys your ego.
** Mark Lamarr, however, was practically an embodiment of a deadpan snarker, and his comedy was heavily based on this.
* [[Digging Yourself Deeper]]: In the early-Noughties series, Mark Lamarr had a [[Running Gag]] of doing this deliberately with his faint-praise "compliments" for a group that had just been mentioned.
{{quote| '''Lamarr''': "People criticised (''group's song''), but I quite enjoyed it. I say I enjoyed it...I tolerated it. I say I tolerated it...what I actually did was (''horrible description of him torturing himself rather than having to hear the song''). Having said that, [[Pet the Dog|I thought the B-side was quite tuneful.]]"}}
* [[The Ditz]]: Tony Wright from ''Terrorvision'' came across as this, especially in his second appearance. Notably Phill and even Mark seemed to find his inability to remember the letters of the alphabet more adorable than mockable.
* [[Early Installment Weirdness]]: Along with whatever the hell was going on with Mark's hair, the first few episodes featured ''four'' songs in the Intros round for each team.
* [[Fun Withwith Acronyms]]: The International Federation for the Universal Care of Rabbits.
* [[Foil]]: Everyone for everyone else.
* [[Freudian Slip]]
{{quote| '''Simon''': Now you've heard what the other Jew... the other Jew... the other ''two'' judges have said...}}
* [[Foe Yay]]: This may have been what Donny Tourette ''thought'' was going on between him and Simon on his appearance.
* [[Gag Penis]]: Oh, boy.
{{quote| '''Mark''': "LL Cool J likes to boast that his penis is "half a block long"; however, it's also just an eighth of an inch ''wide''. It does, however, become very useful when he gets locked out of his car."}}
* [[Guest Host]]: There was a series between the hosts Mark Lamarr and Simon Amstell of only guest hosts, and again now that Amstell has left. As of 2009, they are going down the ''[[Have I Got News for You]]'' route.
* [[Harsher in Hindsight]]: The very beginning of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAYTnSNzU48&feature=endscreen&NR=1 this] clip.
{{quote| '''Simon''' (to Amy Winehouse): You want us just to sit here while you drink yourself to death?}}
* [[Indecipherable Lyrics]]: [[Trope Namer]].
* [[Insane Troll Logic]]: Often used in the ID Parade game when nobody has a clue, such as "It'll be the one who's wearing the maddest shoes!" Sometimes Phill or Bill will have an informed opinion but will keep quiet at first and let their guests come up with this stuff just for humour value.
* [[Last -Second Word Swap]]: The title of the show - a pun on the band '[[[[Buzzcocks (Music)|Buzzcocks]]' and the [[Sex Pistols]]' [[Intentionally Awkward Title|TV-unfriendly]] album title 'Never Mind the Bollocks'.
* [[Long List]]: Of things [[The Smiths|Morrissey]] [[The Eeyore|apparently hates]], and [[All of Them|what should have won "Best Song of the Last 25 Years" over Robbie Williams' "Angels"]], among others.
* [[Malicious Slander]]: Parodied with Mark's "Wicked Whispers" running joke, where he gives 'shocking celebrity facts' such as a rumour that [[Elton John]] may be gay.
* [[Man of a Thousand Voices]]: Parodied. Mark claims all of Phill's impressions consist of saying that celebrity's catchphrase (e.g., "Ooh Betty" for [[Some Mothers Do 'Ave 'Em|Frank Spencer]]) in the same throaty Bernard Manning voice.
** Phill does, however, do a ''startlingly'' good [[Star Wars|Chewbacca]] impression.
** This was also used when Bobby Davro was a guest -- all his impressions were incredibly cliche ones predating [[The Nineties]].
{{quote| '''Bobby''': "It's Tommy Cooper! ''It's Frank Spencer!''"<br />
'''Mark''': "IT'S NOT ANYONE!!!" }}
** Suprisingly, Mark did a pretty good Benny Hill impression in the Series 9 premiere. In a different episode he said he learned many accents from Benny Hill.
** Don't forget the time when Phill did impressions of practically any foreign country in the same exact voice. He even mocked it himself after Lamarr pointed it out.
{{quote| '''Mark (To Sean)''': Have you been to Zimbabwe recently?<br />
'''Phill''': I've been to Zimbabwe, Mark. 'ELLO, I'M FROM ZIMBABWE! }}
** That in mind, he's actually fairly good at impressions.
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** "It turned out that, although it wasn't Bailey's, it was Bill's!"
* [[Our Lawyers Advised This Trope]]: Occasionally played for laughs;
{{quote| '''Christopher Biggins:''' [[[Elizabeth Taylor]]] doesn't like people like you.<br />
'''Simon:''' What? Jews? <br />
'''Simon:''' ''[to camera, mock-seriously]'' The BBC would like to make it clear we have no reason to suspect that Elizabeth Taylor dislikes Jews. }}
* [[Overly Long Gag]]: The spinning of the dreidel to select a song in the Series 19 [[Christmas Special]]
Line 121 ⟶ 120:
** Jimmy Cliff got points from Mark Lamarr just for being Jimmy Cliff.
** Mark would also refuse to give points to obnoxious guests, and help the other team win. Like when Pete Burns was a guest.
{{quote| '''Simon:''' And you get four points for that! Or one. However that works. }}
* [[Precision F -Strike]]: The show doesn't shy away from using profanity, but the jabs and insults are always wrapped in eloquence and metaphor; so when Bill's only comment on ''Loose Women'' is "Oh God, I hate those ''bitches''", you know he means it.
* [[Product Placement]]: Parodied.
{{quote| '''Phill:''' Then he [one of [[The Bee Gees]]] sings "[[Mondegreen|I've got a penguin on my shoes]]", but what we don't know, Mark, is whether it's a penguin as in the wildfowl, or as in [[httpwikipedia://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Penguin_<!-- 28biscuit29Penguin (biscuit)|the delicious chocolatey biscuit]]. --><br />
'''Mark:''' Are you being paid by them to say that?<br />
'''Phill''' ''([[Aside Glance]])'': No, but it is indeed a tasty sweet treat! }}
* [[The Quiet One]]: Sean Hughes. When he left the show, Mark commemorated him with a montage of 'his contributions to the show', which consisted of clips of Sean's other team members answering questions while Sean sat quietly in the background.
Line 137 ⟶ 136:
** In one of Bill's early appearances, he started defending [[Star Trek]] fans, upon which Mark replied "We're not having a go at ''[[Star Trek]]'', you fucking Klingon nonce!" When Bill reacted with shock, Mark pretended it was a nickname they'd always called him behind his back--and it went on to reappear many times when Bill became a regular.
** In a series 24 episode, Phill gives Josh Groban, the presenter, an angry look every time the latter sings.
* [[Screw This, I'm Outta Here]]: More than one guest has walked off the show after getting fed up of being mocked.
** Two. The first was Lemmy of Motörhead, but he disappeared during the retakes so it was not evident to the broadcast audience. The second time was Preston from The Ordinary Boys early into the show, prompting Phill to search the audience for a lookalike. Throughout the rest of the show after Preston walked off, the other guests would feign walking off after Simon "slighted" them. The following week, after no one walked off, Simon gave everyone lollies congratulating them for staying to the end of the show.
* [[Self -Deprecation]]: A big portion of the show's jokes are about the poor quality of the jokes and guests.
* [[Springtime for Hitler]]: Phill was involved with the left-wing music and comedy movement Red Wedge, which campaigned against [[Margaret Thatcher]]'s re-election in 1987; a tie-in NMTB book claimed that it was single-handedly responsible for her remaining in power.
* [[Stalker Withwith a Crush]]: Mark towards Faye Tozer of Steps.
{{quote| '''Lisa Scott-Lee''' (''also of Steps''): "Stop asking me to ask her out for you! She told me to tell you she was a lesbian!"<br />
'''Mark''': "Well...tell her I'm a lesbian too." (''[[Aside Glance]]'') "Nothing stops me!" }}
** And again towards [[Billie Piper]]. Slightly [[Crosses the Line Twice]], as she appeared on the show at the age of 17.
{{quote| '''Mark''': "If loving Billie's wrong, I don't want to... (''quietly'') go to prison."}}
* [[StraightInvisible Gayto Gaydar]]: Simon.
** "You have out-gayed me, [[John Barrowman|Barrowman!"]]
* [[Suspect Is Hatless]]: The 'Identity Parade' can often degenerate into this. It's responsible for some of its best moments.
* [[This Is for Emphasis, Bitch]]: Phil, to Simon:
{{quote| '''Phil:''' Bring in the points, bitch.}}
* [[Timed Mission]]: The ''Next Lines'' round.
* [[Urban Legend Love Life]]: Simon repeatedly and inexplicably tried to start a rumour that Craig David had [[Interspecies Romance|a rabbit fetish]].
Line 156 ⟶ 155:
** Actually, the opening credits were very different back in Lamarr era, showing a bunch of people in a club.
* [[Wardrobe Malfunction]]: Lorraine Kelly had some bra issues, eventually requiring her to leave the set... at which point, [[Hilarity Ensues|all hell broke loose amongst the panelists]].
* [[Who Writes This Crap?|Who Writes This Crap?!]]: Presenters will occasionally question the quality of the writers' jokes.
{{quote| '''Simon:''' And if ''you'' want to be a writer on this show...all you need is a crayon.}}
 
{{reflist}}
[[Category:British Series]]
[[Category:The Nineties]]
[[Category:Never Mind The Buzzcocks{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:TropeTV Series]]
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