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Everything About Fiction You Never Wanted to Know.
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* [[Acceptable Targets]]: [[Depending on the Writer|Depends on the writer]], really. Usual subjects include teenagers, [[Hipster|hipsters]], Canadians, or [[Phil Collins]].
=== From the website: ===
{{quote|"[H]omeless, alone and dead. And ass-worm mouthed. Or worse. ([[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|You could be Phil Collins.]])"}}

* [[Acceptable Targets]]: [[Depending On the Writer|Depends on the writer]], really. Usual subjects include teenagers, [[Hipster|hipsters]], Canadians, or [[Phil Collins (Music)|Phil Collins]].
{{quote| "[H]omeless, alone and dead. And ass-worm mouthed. Or worse. ([[Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking|You could be Phil Collins.]])"}}
** Fans of anime are more or less always made to look like [[Otaku]].
** Fans of anime are more or less always made to look like [[Otaku]].
** [[Played for Laughs]], but [[Nerd|Nerds]] and [[Fandom|Fandoms]] are common targets for quick jokes. Cue [[Flame War]] in the comments between people offended by this, [[Troll|Trolls]], people who simply see it as a joke and others who legitimately hate nerds.
** [[Played for Laughs]], but [[Nerd]]s and [[Fandom]]s are common targets for quick jokes. Cue [[Flame War]] in the comments between people offended by this, [[Troll]]s, people who simply see it as a joke and others who legitimately hate nerds.
* [[Adaptation Displacement]]: "Hey, that site with those funny lists used to be a magazine?"
* [[Adaptation Displacement]]: "Hey, that site with those funny lists used to be a magazine?"
* [[Archive Binge]]: Those little "Recommended" links at the bottom of each page are ''diabolical''.
* [[Archive Binge]]: Those little "Recommended" links at the bottom of each page are ''diabolical''.
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** Now especially true with Cracked's Random Article button.
** Now especially true with Cracked's Random Article button.
* [[Crosses the Line Twice]]: If Daniel O'Brien did any of the things he writes about in his column, Charles Manson would be freaked out. [[Small Name, Big Ego|Swaim]] is the [[Only Sane Man]] in comparison.
* [[Crosses the Line Twice]]: If Daniel O'Brien did any of the things he writes about in his column, Charles Manson would be freaked out. [[Small Name, Big Ego|Swaim]] is the [[Only Sane Man]] in comparison.
** Case in point: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/an-apology-to-town-that-i-turned-into-the-hunger-games/ his apology] to the Pennsylvania town where he recreated ''[[The Hunger Games (Literature)|The Hunger Games]]'' at the youth center.
** Case in point: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/an-apology-to-town-that-i-turned-into-the-hunger-games/ his apology] to the Pennsylvania town where he recreated ''[[The Hunger Games (novel)|The Hunger Games]]'' at the youth center.
** Which is kinda funny considering the role reversal in the web series ''Agents of Cracked''.
** Which is kinda funny considering the role reversal in the web series ''Agents of Cracked''.
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/frosty-snowman-declares-war-war-christmas Frosty the Snowman declares War on the War on Christmas]. That is all.
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/frosty-snowman-declares-war-war-christmas Frosty the Snowman declares War on the War on Christmas]. That is all.
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* [[Funny Aneurysm Moment]]: Not sure if this counts, since it was after the fact, but in a list "5 Ways To Enjoy Terrible Winter Olympic Events", it mentions that luge and skeleton is easy, because it's like a sled. Right after the death of Nodar Kumaritashvili during a crash while luging.
* [[Funny Aneurysm Moment]]: Not sure if this counts, since it was after the fact, but in a list "5 Ways To Enjoy Terrible Winter Olympic Events", it mentions that luge and skeleton is easy, because it's like a sled. Right after the death of Nodar Kumaritashvili during a crash while luging.
** It could've been an unfortunate coincidence that the article was posted at that time since it takes a while for them to actually post them.
** It could've been an unfortunate coincidence that the article was posted at that time since it takes a while for them to actually post them.
*** Which, in a ridiculously meta twist, was a [[Funny Aneurysm Moment]] itself, due to the same thing happening in Agents of Cracked, involving the death of Nicholas Cage.
*** Which, in a ridiculously meta twist, was a [[Funny Aneurysm Moment]] itself, due to the same thing happening in Agents of Cracked, involving the death of Nicholas Cage.
* [[Hell Is That Noise]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-bizarre-sounds-from-outer-space/ 7 Bizarre Sounds From Outer Space] featured Saturn, or as it was called, the screeching space phantom.
* [[Hell Is That Noise]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-bizarre-sounds-from-outer-space/ 7 Bizarre Sounds From Outer Space] featured Saturn, or as it was called, the screeching space phantom.
* [[Hilarious in Hindsight]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17674_how-make-jokeless-comedy-studying-epic-movie-guys.html This] article about [[Seltzer and Friedberg]] that dissects their distinguishing brand of (un)funny movies also makes a prediction at the very end that their next parody movie will be about {{spoiler|ninety minutes of crap.}} {{spoiler|[[Vampires Suck (Film)|And about vampires]].}}
* [[Hilarious in Hindsight]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17674_how-make-jokeless-comedy-studying-epic-movie-guys.html This] article about [[Seltzer and Friedberg]] that dissects their distinguishing brand of (un)funny movies also makes a prediction at the very end that their next parody movie will be about {{spoiler|ninety minutes of crap.}} {{spoiler|[[Vampires Suck|And about vampires]].}}
** Swaim's [http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-words-you-cant-say-on-the-internet-without-starting-a-flame-war/ 7 Words You Can't Say On The Internet] video, which includes him doubting that a lot of Scientologist figureheads are lurking in 4Chan threads. And then Anonymous declared war on Scientology...
** Swaim's [http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-words-you-cant-say-on-the-internet-without-starting-a-flame-war/ 7 Words You Can't Say On The Internet] video, which includes him doubting that a lot of Scientologist figureheads are lurking in 4Chan threads. And then Anonymous declared war on Scientology...
* [[Internet Backdraft]]: Thanks to the very preachy, social justice centered articles that have been written over the years, lots of former fans have voiced their displeasure in the new direction Cracked has taken and have given up going to the site in disgust.
* [[Iron Woobie]]: John Cheese is showing signs of this with his new article. It's about how not to pass on the abuse to your kids that you suffered as a child. He uses his horrible childhood as an example.
* [[Iron Woobie]]: John Cheese is showing signs of this with his new article. It's about how not to pass on the abuse to your kids that you suffered as a child. He uses his horrible childhood as an example.
* [[Jumping the Shark]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article/242_6-tv-shows-that-completely-lost-their-shit/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended 6 TV Shows That Completely Lost Their Shit].
* [[Jumping the Shark]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20120108112238/http://www.cracked.com/article/242_6-tv-shows-that-completely-lost-their-shit/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Movies+%26+TV&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended 6 TV Shows That Completely Lost Their Shit].
* [[Misaimed Fandom]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-women-will-rule-future/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Sex&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module "5 Reasons Why Women Will Rule the Future."] It's [[Poe's Law|(hopefully)]] [[Straw Misogynist|just a joke,]] but judging from [[He-Man Woman Hater|some of the comments,]] not everybody saw it that way.
* [[Misaimed Fandom]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-women-will-rule-future/?wa_user1=2&wa_user2=Sex&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=feature_module "5 Reasons Why Women Will Rule the Future."] It's [[Poe's Law|(hopefully)]] [[Straw Misogynist|just a joke,]] but judging from [[He-Man Woman Hater|some of the comments,]] not everybody saw it that way.
* [[Memetic Badass]]: [[Theodore Roosevelt]]. Bully!
* [[Memetic Badass]]: [[Theodore Roosevelt]]. Bully!
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** This [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-writing-tips-people-who-send-me-death-threats/ article] by Sore Bowie.
** This [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-writing-tips-people-who-send-me-death-threats/ article] by Sore Bowie.
** This Article [http://www.cracked.com/article/109_natures-6-most-diabolical-predators_p1\]
** This Article [http://www.cracked.com/article/109_natures-6-most-diabolical-predators_p1\]
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/extra-mario-lopez-has-no-soul/ This] ''will'' creep you out.
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20120307161545/http://www.cracked.com/blog/extra-mario-lopez-has-no-soul/ This] ''will'' creep you out.
** The [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-monster-inside-mario-lopez-warning/ other] [http://www.cracked.com/blog/trying-to-stop-worlds-greatest-monster-mario-lopez/ two] only up the concentration of terror.
** The [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-monster-inside-mario-lopez-warning/ other] [http://www.cracked.com/blog/trying-to-stop-worlds-greatest-monster-mario-lopez/ two] only up the concentration of terror.
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/secondhand-nightmares-10-horrifying-thrift-store-finds/ -nothing-]
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/secondhand-nightmares-10-horrifying-thrift-store-finds/ -nothing-]
** [http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-baffling-food-mascots-all-time_p3/ NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE.]
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20140804235155/http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-baffling-food-mascots-all-time_p3/ NONE OF YOU ARE SAFE.]
** ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgD2XEmSAcY "Its contagious!"]''
** ''[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgD2XEmSAcY "Its contagious!"]''
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19395_the-7-creepiest-old-school-robots_p2.html Pretty much all examples on this list,] but look me in the eye and tell me you didn't shiver when you read "Waiting. ''Waiting to play you her song''."
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19395_the-7-creepiest-old-school-robots_p2.html Pretty much all examples on this list,] but look me in the eye and tell me you didn't shiver when you read "Waiting. ''Waiting to play you her song''."
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19401_5-inexplicably-horrifying-episodes-classic-comedies.html 5 Inexplicitly Horrifying Episodes of Classic Comedies]. For bonus points, most of the episodes listed are [[Adult Fear]] type stuff in some way or another.
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19401_5-inexplicably-horrifying-episodes-classic-comedies.html 5 Inexplicitly Horrifying Episodes of Classic Comedies]. For bonus points, most of the episodes listed are [[Adult Fear]] type stuff in some way or another.
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19507_the-8-creepiest-glitches-hidden-in-popular-video-games.html The 8 Creepiest Glitches Hidden in Popular Video Games].
** [http://www.cracked.com/article_19507_the-8-creepiest-glitches-hidden-in-popular-video-games.html The 8 Creepiest Glitches Hidden in Popular Video Games].
** [http://www.cracked.com/funny-1934-spiders/ Spiders], starts out rather tame, but once you scroll down to the bottom of the article...
** [https://web.archive.org/web/20131023143738/http://www.cracked.com/funny-1934-spiders/ Spiders], starts out rather tame, but once you scroll down to the bottom of the article...
** Also see [http://www.cracked.com/article_18792_the-7-most-unintentionally-creepy-places-internet.html The 7 Most Unintentionally Creepy Places on the Internet], [http://www.cracked.com/article_18711_19-unintentionally-terrifying-childrens-album-covers.html 19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers], [http://www.cracked.com/article_18928_the-12-most-unintentionally-disturbing-christmas-ads.html The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads], [http://www.cracked.com/article_16445_the-5-most-unintentionally-scarring-80s-music-videos.html The 5 Most Unintentionally Scarring 80s Music Videos], [http://www.cracked.com/article_16051_the-10-most-disturbing-psas-from-around-world.html The 10 Most Disturbing PSAs from Around the World], [http://www.cracked.com/article_17493_the-13-most-unintentionally-disturbing-childrens-toys_p2.html The 13 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Children's Toys], [http://www.cracked.com/article_17093_10-awesome-ads-for-traumatizing-children.html 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children)], ''and'' [http://www.cracked.com/article_19631_the-11-most-unintentionally-creepy-christmas-ornaments.html The 11 Most Unintentionally Creepy Christmas Ornaments]
** Also see [http://www.cracked.com/article_18792_the-7-most-unintentionally-creepy-places-internet.html The 7 Most Unintentionally Creepy Places on the Internet], [http://www.cracked.com/article_18711_19-unintentionally-terrifying-childrens-album-covers.html 19 Unintentionally Terrifying Children's Album Covers], [http://www.cracked.com/article_18928_the-12-most-unintentionally-disturbing-christmas-ads.html The 12 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Christmas Ads], [http://www.cracked.com/article_16445_the-5-most-unintentionally-scarring-80s-music-videos.html The 5 Most Unintentionally Scarring 80s Music Videos], [http://www.cracked.com/article_16051_the-10-most-disturbing-psas-from-around-world.html The 10 Most Disturbing PSAs from Around the World], [http://www.cracked.com/article_17493_the-13-most-unintentionally-disturbing-childrens-toys_p2.html The 13 Most Unintentionally Disturbing Children's Toys], [http://www.cracked.com/article_17093_10-awesome-ads-for-traumatizing-children.html 10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children)], ''and'' [http://www.cracked.com/article_19631_the-11-most-unintentionally-creepy-christmas-ornaments.html The 11 Most Unintentionally Creepy Christmas Ornaments]
** They also are happy to give you reasons not to [http://www.cracked.com/article_19217_6-things-nobody-tells-you-about-owning-motorcycle.html?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended own a motorcycle] too.
** They also are happy to give you reasons not to [http://www.cracked.com/article_19217_6-things-nobody-tells-you-about-owning-motorcycle.html?wa_user1=5&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended own a motorcycle] too.
* [[Paranoia Fuel]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article/199_5-horrific-ways-your-brain-can-turn-you-without-warning/ This article.] [http://www.cracked.com/article_16656_6-brainwashing-techniques-theyre-using-on-you-right-now.html And this one]. Actually, Cracked's writers [http://www.cracked.com/article_17103_5-ways-your-brain-messing-with-your-head.html just don't seem to have much confidence in the human brain at all.]
* [[Paranoia Fuel]]: [https://web.archive.org/web/20131105034736/http://www.cracked.com/article/199_5-horrific-ways-your-brain-can-turn-you-without-warning/ This article.] [http://www.cracked.com/article_16656_6-brainwashing-techniques-theyre-using-on-you-right-now.html And this one]. Actually, Cracked's writers [http://www.cracked.com/article_17103_5-ways-your-brain-messing-with-your-head.html just don't seem to have much confidence in the human brain at all.]
** There is also the Cursed Iceman in [http://www.cracked.com/article_18809_the-6-most-strangely-convincing-real-life-curses.html this article] which doubles as High Octane Nightmare Fuel.
** There is also the Cursed Iceman in [http://www.cracked.com/article_18809_the-6-most-strangely-convincing-real-life-curses.html this article] which doubles as High Octane Nightmare Fuel.
* [[Periphery Demographic]]: While Cracked is an American site with much of its contents revolving around the American culture, a substantial number of readers are from other countries.
* [[Periphery Demographic]]: While Cracked is an American site with much of its contents revolving around the American culture, a substantial number of readers are from other countries.
** A fair number of people enjoy Cracked not for the comedic articles, but the more introspective and philosophical articles.
** A fair number of people enjoy Cracked not for the comedic articles, but the more introspective and philosophical articles.
* [[Rescued From the Scrappy Heap]]: Cody's stock went up in the eyes of many commentators after his [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-review-of-armond-whites-review-of-toy-story-3/ review of Armond White's Review of Toy Story 3].
* [[Rescued from the Scrappy Heap]]: Cody's stock went up in the eyes of many commentators after his [http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-review-of-armond-whites-review-of-toy-story-3/ review of Armond White's Review of Toy Story 3].
** Christina wrote [http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-tiny-things-that-stopped-suicides/ this] article. How do you hate someone who wrote that?
** Christina wrote [http://www.cracked.com/blog/8-tiny-things-that-stopped-suicides/ this] article. How do you hate someone who wrote that?
* [[The Scrappy]]:
* [[The Scrappy]]:
** Some readers view Cody as this. When he first joined the site, [[Genre Savvy|there was a page pointing out that his work was a bit strange, and that not all of it would make the front page]].
** Some readers view Cody as this. When he first joined the site, [[Genre Savvy|there was a page pointing out that his work was a bit strange, and that not all of it would make the front page]].
** If the comments section are anything to go by, Christina H.
** If the comments section are anything to go by, Christina H.
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* [[Squick]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17626_5-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-comics.html This list.] And several others.
* [[Squick]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17626_5-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-comics.html This list.] And several others.
** They love to lampshade [[Nightmare Fuel]] and [[Squick]] by proclaiming something along the lines of "[[Freak-Out|OHGODKILLITKILLITAHHHHHHH]]" or "Not Safe For Soul".
** They love to lampshade [[Nightmare Fuel]] and [[Squick]] by proclaiming something along the lines of "[[Freak-Out|OHGODKILLITKILLITAHHHHHHH]]" or "Not Safe For Soul".
* [[Surprisingly Improved Sequel]]: For something that started out as a cheap [[Mad (Magazine)|MAD Magazine]] rip-off, the [[Retool]] to being a humor website helped them in their favor by quite a bit, even gaining a larger fanbase than the [[Magazine Decay|slowly decaying]] ''MAD.''
* [[Surprisingly Improved Sequel]]: For something that started out as a cheap [[Mad|MAD Magazine]] rip-off, the [[Retool]] to being a humor website helped them in their favor by quite a bit, even gaining a larger fanbase than the [[Magazine Decay|slowly decaying]] ''MAD.''
* [[Tear Jerker]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-they-never-told-us/ 5 Things They Never Told Us], a simple but successfully crushing article for students to read to prepare them about the loss of youthful energy, the anticlimactic realization that you are an adult but still have no idea how life works, and summer going from three months off of freedom to just a simple change in the weather for you.
* [[Tear Jerker]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-they-never-told-us/ 5 Things They Never Told Us], a simple but successfully crushing article for students to read to prepare them about the loss of youthful energy, the anticlimactic realization that you are an adult but still have no idea how life works, and summer going from three months off of freedom to just a simple change in the weather for you.
** [http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_231_creative-ways-to-teach-children-harsh-life-lessons/ This List] of [[Anvilicious|Anvils]] to prepare children for the harshness of reality.
** [http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_231_creative-ways-to-teach-children-harsh-life-lessons/ This List] of [[Anvilicious|Anvils]] to prepare children for the harshness of reality.
* [[This Is Your Premise On Drugs]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/choose-your-own-drug-fueled-misadventure-flight-of-terror/ The Choose Your Own Drug Fueled Misadventure] series of stories by Robert Brockway involve plots on a lethal overdose of drugs. [[Exactly What It Says On the Tin|Literally]].
* [[This Is Your Premise on Drugs]]: [http://www.cracked.com/blog/choose-your-own-drug-fueled-misadventure-flight-of-terror/ The Choose Your Own Drug Fueled Misadventure] series of stories by Robert Brockway involve plots on a lethal overdose of drugs. [[Exactly What It Says on the Tin|Literally]].
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17206_the-10-most-perverted-old-school-video-games.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Tech&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended The 10 Most Perverted Old School Video Games].
* [[What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?]]: [http://www.cracked.com/article_17206_the-10-most-perverted-old-school-video-games.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Tech&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=recommended The 10 Most Perverted Old School Video Games].
* [[The Woobie]]: John Cheese.
* [[The Woobie]]: John Cheese.


----
=== From the magazine: ===
:<small>Back to ''[[{{ROOTPAGENAME}}]]''</small>

* [[Magazine Decay]]: The constant [[Executive Meddling]] in the later days, followed by the switch to a copycat of ''Maxim'', followed by the outright termination of the mag.
* [[Nausea Fuel]]: The last few years of the mag were rife with bodily function jokes, including a whole article on ''different types of farts'' and ''another'' on different types of ''puking''.
* [[So Bad It's Good]]: Let's face it, most of the "jokes" were lame. But the very same lameness that made you groan is also what gave the magazine a lot of its charm.

{{reflist}}
{{reflist}}
[[Category:Cracked]]
[[Category:{{ROOTPAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:YMMV]]
[[Category:{{SUBPAGENAME}}]]

Latest revision as of 11:24, 8 January 2022



"[H]omeless, alone and dead. And ass-worm mouthed. Or worse. (You could be Phil Collins.)"


Back to Cracked.com