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{{trope}}
{{quote|''"So, the only man that can have you is one who's already tried to kill you. [[Sarcasm Mode| That's logic]]."''
|'''Kalidor''', ''Red Sonja''}}
[[Defeat Means Friendship]] with an instant [[Relationship Upgrade]].
A woman that can/will only fall in love with a man that can "conquer" her. This can be either someone who bests her in combat (this obviously only applies to warrior women), or a man who takes charge and shows her that he is the one who is making decisions. Can cross over into [[Victim Falls For Rapist]] if she's not consciously aware that this is how she feels. Remember, there ''must'' be some rule or custom for
Compare [[All Amazons Want Hercules]]. See also [[Slap Slap Kiss]]. See also [[Sex Face Turn]] and [[High Heel Face Turn]]. See also [[Red Sonja]] (the character's page). Contrast [[Love At First Punch]], which lacks the explict requirement either by the character themselves or their society.
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{{examples}}
== [[Anime]] and [[Manga]] ==
* Shampoo and the rest of her Amazon tribe in ''[[Ranma ½
** Also indirectly (and to her immense annoyance) Akane, after Kuno proclaimed that only he who could defeat her in combat was worthy of dating her. Cue the morning routine in which half the student body at Furinkan High (the male half) went out to fight her.
** Amusingly enough, Kuno applies this trope to himself, claiming that if the Pigtailed Girl (Ranma) can defeat him, he shall allow her to date with him. (And if ''he'' wins, he gets to date ''her''. Convenient, in a [[Heads I Win, Tails You Lose]] sort of way.)
*** Maybe something was lost in translation, because that sounds a bit like a dominance thing-maybe the one who wins the fight gets to wear the pants in the relationship?
**** No, Kuno's just a self-absorbed idiot who can't believe a girl -- ''any'' girl -- wouldn't want to date him.
** Another variation is Akari Unryuu, whose grandfather wanted her to only marry a boy strong enough to defeat her giant sumo pig.
* Miriya in ''[[Macross]]/[[Robotech]]'' is a borderline case. She fell in love with Max after he beat her, but there was never an explicit "rule" about it. (There was to be a female pilot in the never-produced ''
** ''[[Macross 7]]'' arguably subverts this, as Max and Miriya have grown estranged from one another and Miriya is questioning whether marrying him was such a good idea.
*** It's rather un-subverted by the fact that they get back together in the end.
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* Inverted in ''[[Steel Fist Riku]]'': After she beats Chikara Toudou, Riku learns that he is now forbidden from setting foot on his family's property until he either defeats or marries her.
* A less extreme version of this trope can be found in ''[[Bakuman｡]]'', where Iwase, the smartest girl in school, believes that she and Takagi are now a couple when he gets better grades than her. Too bad he thinks she was just making a friendly competition out of it.
** As of recent{{when}} chapters {{spoiler|she's likely going to enter the field of manga in order to compete with him}}.
* In ''[[Mahou Sensei Negima]]'' it was recently revealed that [[Action Girl|Ku Fei]] has imposed this policy on herself.
** Note that Ku Fei doesn't require that the combat actually take place, she can tell that [[Magic Knight|Negi]] could defeat her in an actual match, and that being able to defeat her is a necessary but not sufficient criteria. She's not romantically interested in Negi. [[Wife Husbandry|Not yet, anyway.]]
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* The ''[[Gurren Lagann]]'' manga ''Guren Gakuenhen'' has Nia's split personality showing signs of this.
* In the ''[[Sorcerer Hunters]]'' manga, Gateau's younger sister Eclair once vowed that she would never fall in love with any man who couldn't beat her in a fight. Since Eclair is about as strong as her brother, this disqualified most men in the world. {{spoiler|Deconstructed when she becomes attracted to the (first) [[Big Bad]] Sacher Torte who easily stops her frequent attempts to avenge her parents' deaths. She later falls in love with him after agreeing with his ideals and has him ''erase her memories'' so she doesn't have to feel conflicted about her feelings anymore.}}
* In ''[[
== [[Comic Books]] ==
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*** Interestingly enough, in a ''[[What If]]?'' story where [[Wolverine]] [[Wolverine Publicity|became lost in time and wound up in Hyboria]] at the same time this story took place, Wolverine was able to beat Sonja in battle and went on to become King of Aquilonia instead of Conan, with Sonja as his queen.
**** Though Wolverine's not thrilled with the initial situation. After he beats Sonja, she basically gives up and waits to be raped. Wolverine walks away, telling her "Sorry, darlin', that ain't my style." She's both perplexed and [[Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?|slightly insulted]] so she follows him. It's only after their next meeting that he warms up to her.
** In the movie, Kalidor says the whole idea is stupid, as it means she can only love a man who had tried to kill her. He does challenge her, and
** In issue 15 of the current series, she and two friends take on a god—a weakened god, but still a quasi-deity at least. He quite naturally trounces them. Whether that counts as a fair fight, which is what has to be waged for it to work, is somewhat moot: {{spoiler|he doesn't invoke the trope -- ''she'' does. Because, the writer said, she was using the loophole wherein someone who's beaten her isn't necessarily someone who ''has'' to have sex with her, or whom she even has to ''let'', but whom she can ''allow'' to do so if she wants...and the writer decided she ''did'' want, some time after the fight was over and they were allies. It's notable that in the new series, at least, the portrayal seems to be romantic love with someone who hasn't beaten her isn't forbidden--just physical affection.}}
** This was further spelled out in issue #31, where it is revealed that Sonja did share a romantic, but non-physical relationship with a king who hired her as his bodyguard and grew to want her as his queen. Sonja refused, fearful of killing the man she loved if he pressed the issue of being able to consummate their love and challenged her to single combat. Seeking guidance from her goddess, Sonja was told that she could abandon her oath but that she would lose the superior skills she had been blessed with. Deciding this was acceptable, Sonja went to the King's bed chamber to tell him her decision, just as a group of assassins with magical weapons showed up. Sonja was able to repel the assassins but knew the only reason she was able to do so was because of her blessed skills. Her sense of responsibility to hold to her oath to fight evil at the expense of a normal life held and she resigned her post the next day.
** It's worth noting that the traditional interpretation of Sonja's blessing/curse may have missed the mark. The reality appears to be that Goddess granted Sonja powers that she could only lose by ''voluntarily'' lying with a man, like the traditional oath of chastity. The "unless he defeats you in combat" may simply be a rape exception, so that Sonja doesn't lose her powers if she is defeated and taken advantage of. After all, she was given her powers in the first place to kill a rapist, [[Fridge Brilliance|so it would be a good idea]] to make sure she wouldn't be depowered & could get revenge again if it happened again. Of course, Scathach asking for an oath of chastity in the first place is a case of [[Did Not Do the Research]], since the goddess in question is an aspect of the Morrigan, a war goddess known for, among other forms of [[Karmic Justice]] and [[Kick the Dog]], raping male heroes and villains (with or without offering a [[Sadistic Choice]] between sex or death first) as punishment or [[Rape as Drama|a symbol of the horrors of war]].
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* She-Beard from ''[[Seaguy]]''.
* Parodied in ''[[Cerebus]]'' as Red Sophia. Her father hires Cerebus to torture the man who besmirched her honor. During the journey her logorrhea is too much, they fight, he wins, she pledges service. The eventual torture is forcing the blackguard (who saw her naked) to marry Sophia. Years later she marries Cerebus.
== [[Folklore]] ==▼
* According to [[The Travels of Marco Polo|Marco Polo]], Aiyaruk, the daughter of a nephew of Kublai Khan, said that she'd only marry a man who could defeat her in a wrestling match. She never did find a husband. Demanding that every suitor bring her one hundred horses that would be forfeit if he lost, Aiyaruk came to own ten thousand steeds. Eventually, a handsome and especially strong prince came and offered a thousand horses instead of a hundred, to show his confidence. Aiyaruk's parents begged her to let him win, but she refused. In the Hollywood version, he'd probably have been the one to get the girl—but according to Polo's account, after an especially long and difficult match, she was able to defeat ''him'', too. Aiyaruk never did find her match, and instead became a [[Lady of War|skilled warrior]] (which was not unheard of amongst Mongolian women, regardless of the accuracy of Polo's specific account).▼
* Nearly ''inverted'' by the Scythians, a nomadic civilization whose women were warriors. Greek accounts would have it that before they could get married, Scythian women had to defeat three men in combat. (However, not full inversion as they married others of their tribe rather than the defeated men, who were often dead.)▼
== [[Film]] ==
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** There is some debate as to whether Bao Sanniang is a wholly fictional character, or a romantization/dramatization of a historical individual, mind.
* Saffron from ''[[Firefly]]'' tried to con Mal at the end of the episode "Our Mrs. Reynolds" by pretending to be this type, but Mal didn't fall for it and responded with a [[Dramatic Gun Cock]] instead.
* The ''[[Quantum Leap]]'' episode "How the Tess Was Won".
* In ''[[Dark Kingdom The Dragon King]]'' (a.k.a. ''The Ring of the Nibelungs'') Kristanna Loken plays Brunhilde the Queen who will lose all her strength if she marries a man who has not defeated her in battle.
* Gender-swapped example in ''[[Star Trek: Enterprise]]''; if a [[Proud Warrior Race Girl| female Andorian assaults]] a male and wins, she can legally (via Andorian law) force him to mate with her. At least according to Shran, who was himself a "victim" of this.
== [[
▲* According to [[The Travels of Marco Polo|Marco Polo]], Aiyaruk, the daughter of a nephew of Kublai Khan, said that she'd only marry a man who could defeat her in a wrestling match. She never did find a husband. Demanding that every suitor bring her one hundred horses that would be forfeit if he lost, Aiyaruk came to own ten thousand steeds. Eventually, a handsome and especially strong prince came and offered a thousand horses instead of a hundred, to show his confidence. Aiyaruk's parents begged her to let him win, but she refused. In the Hollywood version, he'd probably have been the one to get the girl—but according to Polo's account, after an especially long and difficult match, she was able to defeat ''him'', too. Aiyaruk never did find her match, and instead became a [[Lady of War|skilled warrior]] (which was not unheard of amongst Mongolian women, regardless of the accuracy of Polo's specific account).
▲* Nearly ''inverted'' by the Scythians, a nomadic civilization whose women were warriors. Greek accounts would have it that before they could get married, Scythian women had to defeat three men in combat. (However, not full inversion as they married others of their tribe rather than the defeated men, who were often dead.)
* [[Older Than Feudalism]]: This happens at least a few times in [[Greek Mythology]]:
** Amazon Queen Hippolyta and Heracles. [[All Amazons Want Hercules]], after all.
** Atalanta, who would only marry a man who could defeat her in a foot race. The losers were executed. Eventually, Aphrodite got sick of Atalanta's attitude and gave the next competitor [[How Do You Like Them Apples?|three golden apples]] with which to cheat. Every time Atalanta got ahead, he threw one out in front of her and broke for the lead while she was distracted, giving him the win. [https://youtu.be/FREoBUHHF8k?t=622 In a different telling], the suitor would get a head start and Atalanta, armed and armored, would chase the suitor down and kill him on the spot if she got to the suitor before the suitor got to the race end point (It's not clear if it's a finish line or a wall that needs to be touched or what).
* The idea for [[Red Sonja]] herself was taken from Aoife of [[Celtic Mythology|Irish mythology]] via a [[William Butler Yeats]] play, though as noted there are examples considerably older with this.
== [[Tabletop Games]] ==
* A set of ''[[Dungeons & Dragons]]'' trading cards from the mid-90s included a variation, with a [[Lawful Good]] priestess who was prophecised to leave the sisterhood in order to wed a great hero, and vowed only to marry a man whose virtues exceeded her own.
== [[Theatre]] ==
* Shakespeare's ''[[A Midsummer Night's Dream]]'' had the Amazon Queen Hippolyta marrying Theseus, the Duke of Athens, after he defeated her forces.
== [[Video Games]] ==
* [[Discworld (video game)|The first ''
** Later on in the game, she notes that she was finally defeated by a man who challenged her to a game of tiddlywinks. It seems her goddess didn't stipulate that she had to be defeated in armed combat. Rincewind learns of this, much to his regret, as he is REALLY good at tiddlywinks.
* Curiously, completing the Handmaiden's romance sidequest in ''[[Knights of the Old Republic]] 2'' requires defeating her in three unarmed duels. Where both participants are wearing [[Black Bra and Panties|underwear]] (the player's covers more than the Handmaiden's does, though).
** Ditto for the sidequest with Visas, though hers is more of a [[Defeat Means Friendship]] blossoming into something more.
** It's implied {{spoiler|the Handmaiden's mother, Arran Kae, fell for the Handmaiden's father this way}}.
* [[Jeanne D'Archetype|Jeanne]], of ''[[World Heroes]]'' seems to be of this type, as her endings usually have her lamenting her victories as a still-single woman.
* [[Action Girl|
* Non-[[Romance of the Three Kingdoms|canon]] sidequests in ''[[Dynasty Warriors]]'' games often involve male characters needing to prove they are worthy of their love interests by defeating them.
* ''[[Dragon Age: Origins]]'' has a variation with Isabella. Beater her at cards (not in a fight) will result in her suggesting they "get to know each other better" by following her to her bedchamber; if the Warden is already sleeping with a member of the party, she will [[A Threesome Is Hot|invite that party member to come]]. (Not all will agree.) Beating her at cards isn't easy, though, as she's something of a card shark.
== [[Web Comics]] ==
* In the
* The unnamed Mongol warrior from ''[[Get Medieval]]'' falls hard for the alien gladiatrix Rylede after she defeats him.
* Yatta-Ta is convinced that the title character of ''[[The Challenges of Zona]]'' is this and so far, no amount of evidence to the contrary will convince him otherwise.
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'''Grimlock:''' Then me Grimlock must marry...the LOTTERY!
'''Prowl:''' Don't encourage him, Inferno. }}
* Lampooned in ''[[Oglaf]]''. After [[Expy|Tall]] [[Red Sonja|Sonja]] announces this vow, a wise-guy asks if that means she has to beat herself up in order to masturbate.
== [[Web Original]] ==
* Previous stage decoration [[Azumanga Daioh|Tardboy]] and his "sub" [[
* A character by [[Furry Fandom|furry]] artist
* The ''If I Am Ever The Heroine'' list (similar to the [[Evil Overlord List]]) strongly warns against agreeing to this practice.
== [[Western Animation]] ==
* Maxima in ''[[Superman: The Animated Series]]'' dragged [[Superman]] off to her home planet to be her mate after he defeated her in a fight. Of course, [[All Girls Want Bad Boys|when Lobo shows up, it's "Superman who?"]] Note that in the comics, Maxima merely wanted Supes because his genes went well with her royal bloodline of [[Proud Warrior Race Guy|warriors]].
* In ''[[Ronal the Barbarian]]'' this is tradition for Shieldmaidens; unfortunately, this makes [[Action Girl|Zandra]] very [[Blessed With Suck]] because while there's no shortage of men willing to challenge her, she's just too good a warrior for any to succeed, and fears she will wind up a spinster forever. And it gets worse, as she's eventually bested by the [[Big Bad]] and forced to obey him.
{{reflist}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Characters As Device]]
[[Category:Usually Female]]
[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]
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