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Absence Makes the Heart Go Yonder: Difference between revisions
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{{trope}}
[[File:
{{quote|''"Winnie left the next summer to study art history in Paris. Still, we never forgot our promise. We wrote to each other once a week for the next eight years. I was there to meet her when she came home... with my wife, and my first son -- eight months old. Like I said, things never turn out exactly the way you planned."''
|'''Kevin Arnold''', ''[[The Wonder Years]]''}}
When a couple is separated against their wishes, and their love is particularly strong, it is fully expected that they will try to find each other, and refrain from getting involved with anyone else. However, sometimes this is actually quite hard to accomplish, especially in the case of someone believing their lover will never come back, or that they are dead. But unexpectedly, their lover comes back to them, and they are happily reunited.
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Contrast [[Second Love]], [[The Mourning After]], [[You Have Waited Long Enough]], [[I Will Wait for You]].
{{examples}}
▲== Anime/Manga ==
* In the animated movie ''[[Super Dimension Fortress Macross]]: Do You Remember Love?'', protagonist Hikaru Ichijyo, after being separated from his beautiful pop idol girlfriend Lynn Minmay, quickly forms a romantic relationship with his female superior officer Misa Hayase. Minmay's feelings for him, on the other hand, never diminished during his absence.
* Something similar (although in this case it's coma related) is what kicks off the plot of ''[[Kimi ga Nozomu Eien]]''.
* In [[Shaman King]], when both Jun and her spirit partner Bailong look at each other in the middle of a battle and faintly blush, Tamao is quick to point out that they make a good pair. To which hilariously, Anna then points out that Bailong did have a wife previously and declared he was cheating on her. Of course, Bailong is dead and then again, [[Death of the Hypotenuse|so is his wife]].
* What happened with {{spoiler|Himawari}} in ''[[
** The xxxHolic: Rou OVA explains that {{spoiler|Doumeki and Kohane got married, but implies that they actually both loved Watanuki and were marrying each other primarily out of convenience}}. It's actually far more heartwarming than it sounds.
== Comic Books ==
* In [[DC Comics]], Stephanie 'Spoiler' Brown has just discovered an unpleasant consequence of [[Faking the Dead|faking your death]] for a
* Bucky in ''[[Ultimate Marvel]]'' plays it more
▲* In [[DC Comics]], Stephanie 'Spoiler' Brown has just discovered an unpleasant consequence of [[Faking the Dead|faking your death]] for a year -- her boyfriend, Robin, has since started dating again. She was gone long enough that Robin's relationship with Wonder Girl had both come and gone, but at the time of her return Tim was dating Zoanne, a normal girl at his high school, and she took it quite well, acknowledging that it was her fault for disappearing. She and Tim managed to remain friends and crimefighting partners as he stayed with Zoanne. Of course, then <ref>a new creative team came on board, Steph was ordered by Batman to betray Tim to a villain to help 'make him a better Robin', in the process entirely ruining her friendship with him. Very shortly after Tim then finally hit the end of the [[Trauma Conga Line]] that his life had turned into ever since [[Identity Crisis]] and Steph's faked death, had what can only be described as a complete nervous breakdown, and in the process of cutting himself off from any and all beneficial human contact Tim broke up disastrously with Zoanne.</ref> And so the whole point was rendered spectacularly moot.
▲* Bucky in ''[[Ultimate Marvel]]'' plays it more seriously--he married [[Captain America]]'s fiancee while Cap was [[Human Popsicle|frozen in ice]].
* A pretty big issue in Shade's and Kathy's relationship in ''[[Shade the Changing Man]]''. While being separated from Shade, Kathy starts up a lesbian affair with their mutual friend Lenny. Shade himself feels guilty about falling out of love with girlfriend on his homeworld.
* The [[Distant Finale]] of the first volume of ''Zero Girl''. ''Ouch.''
* Sort of kind of done in ''[[Y: The Last Man]]''. The story in short: Yorick has a long distance phone call with his girlfriend, Beth, but it gets disconnected before Yorick, who had intended to propose over the phone, can say what he wanted to say. After this, complete [[Gendercide]] ensures, and Yorick is left the only living man on Earth! One year and a lot of adventurers later he finally meets up with his dear sweetheart, Beth... only to find out that she had intended to break up with him during that phone call one year ago, because her heart had gone yonder during his absence. Not only that, but she had realized that she was actually in love with Yorick's sister! C'mon, let's say it all together now: [[Alas, Poor Yorick]].
==
* This is what Marian fears in ''[[Robin Hood (Disney film)|Robin Hood]]'', that Robin had simply forgotten about her during their time apart. However, the very next scene subverts it, as Robin is clearly shown thinking about her.
* According to Chuckles the Clown from [[Toy Story (franchise)|''Toy Story 3'']], this is actually the main reason why {{spoiler|Lotso}} was evil in the first place: {{spoiler|Both Lotso and Chuckles were once owned by the same little girl, but one day, the girl accidentally left the two toys behind while camping with her family. Both Lotso and Chuckles eventually make it all the way back to the girl's home, only for Lotso to discover that his owner had threw him out and replaced him with another Lotso Bear. As a result, Lotso became crazy and vowed that one day, all other toys will suffer from his wrath. The two eventually got onto a Pizza Planet truck in search of a new home, both of which will ultimately fulfill the now-opposing toys' destinies: Chuckles was eventually rescued and is now happily living in Bonnie's house, while Lotso ended up in Sunnyside Daycare, where he then planned to terrorize all of the toys living in the daycare center.}}
* This happens to Tom Hanks's character in ''[[Cast Away]]''; he comes back after five years to find that his loved one started a family with someone else two or three years after he vanished. In a subversion, she's instantly ready to completely abandon her family and run away with him, but he rebukes her.
** This, in turn, was referenced in ''[[Family Guy]]'', after Peter was stranded with Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe on a desert island, only to finally return home and find that Brian had taken over his former role in the home. (They explicitly only married for stability, and, to Brian's chagrin, never did the deed. This is to keep their [[Unresolved Sexual Tension|UST]], well, U.)
* Calypso didn't wait for Davy Jones in ''[[Pirates of the Caribbean]]''... {{spoiler|but Elizabeth did wait for Will}}.
** According to [[Word of God]], this allows {{spoiler|Will}} to be with {{spoiler|Elizabeth}} as much as he wants, as long as the job is still done. The "one day per ten years" rule does not apply to faithful couples, it seems.
* In the ''[[Spawn]]'' movie, the title character comes [[Back
** In the end, {{spoiler|he gets over it, and even notes that "they belong together" after seeing how happy they are when they are reunited.}}
* In ''[[The Princess Bride (film)|The Princess Bride]]'', Buttercup doesn't wait for Westley (although she doesn't so much ''move on'' as give up on love and consent to a loveless engagement). He was presumed dead, but he seems to think she should have waited for him anyway.
** Pointed out in [http://xkcd.com/549/ this xkcd strip.]
** In [[The Princess Bride (novel)|the book]], it's more blatantly [[You Have Waited Long Enough]].
{{quote|
Buttercup whispered, "I am your servant and I refuse."
"I am your Prince and you cannot refuse."
"I am your loyal servant and I just did."
"Refusal means death."
"Kill me then."
"I am your Prince and I'm not that bad - how could you rather be dead than married to me?"
"Because," Buttercup said, "marriage involves love, and that is not a pastime at which I excel. I tried once, and it went badly, and I am sworn never to love another."
"Love?" said Prince Humperdinck. "Who mentioned love?" }}
* This is the root cause of the [[Love Triangle]] in ''Pearl Harbor''.
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* ''My Favorite Wife'' was a 1940 comedy about a woman returning home after being shipwrecked (with a very handsome man) for seven years; and the 1963 remake ''Move Over, Darling''. See also another 1940 movie, ''Too Many Husbands''
* ''[[Jarhead]]''. It's particularly unnerving to {{spoiler|watch Anthony survive attack after attack and keep his hopes up only to have Kristina leave him for the guy she said "was just a friend" after the war was over.}} Not to mention the {{spoiler|porn video scene}}. This trope is a major theme and comes in endless waves.
* In the 1990 ''[[Captain America (comics)]]'' film Steve Roger's fiance Bernice waited for him for ''16 years'' when he went missing and presumed dead during his first mission as [[Captain America (comics)]]. She got married when she was 38 because [[My Biological Clock Is Ticking|Her Biological Clock Was Ticking]]. When they are reunited he is amazed that she waited that long.
* In ''[[Swing Shift]]'', Kay Walsh's husband enlists in the Navy after the bombing of [[Pearl Harbor]], and she eventually winds up more or less seduced by her factory boss. After a one-night stand they wind up properly dating, which gets broken up when Kay's husband comes home. Fun is not had by anyone, but it turns out all right in the end.
* Variant in ''[[Casablanca]]'' - Ilsa hooked up with Rick, believing her husband Victor to be dead. Turns out he wasn't. Oops!
* Slight variation in ''[[The Dead Zone]]'' in that Johnny wasn't presumed dead while his fiancee didn't wait for him, he was in a coma from which no one was sure he would wake.
* In the 2010 adaptation of ''[[Riverworld]]'', Matt finds that his beloved Jessie has shacked up with [[Richard Burton (author)|Richard Burton]]. What makes this really painful for Matt is that from his perspective, he and Jessie were only separated for a few days. From Jessie's perspective, she searched for Matt for ''four years'', then [[Rescue Romance|fell for Richard after he saved her from some rapists]].
== Literature ==
* In ''[[The Count of Monte Cristo (novel)|The Count of Monte Cristo]]'', Edmond Dantes is gone for years, and Mercedes marries his enemy and raises a son during that time. Despite the fact that she was told he was dead and did not know that her husband was his enemy, this is supposedly a terrible thing for her to have done.
** Actually the problem Dantes had was just that she chose to marry his enemy, not that she chose to marry. He specifically said the eighteen months (unlike in the film adaptation, Albert wasn't Dantes's son in the novel) she waited before moving on was all a lover could ask for.
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** [[Lampshade Hanging|Lampshaded]] and [[The Parody|parodied]] in the ''Simpsons'' episode parodying ''[[The Count of Monte Cristo (novel)|The Count of Monte Cristo]]'', where everyone including Marge as Mercedes turns on Homer as Dantes for his revenge plot.
* ''[[The Great Gatsby]]'' has Jay Gatsby going off to war, and Daisy marrying Tom Buchanan before he returns and finds her.
* The [[Discworld]] novel ''[[
* The book, movie and TV series ''[[The Dead Zone]]''. She didn't wait while he was in a coma.
* [[Peter Pan]]'s mother gave up waiting for him to come home, and when he went back the window was closed and there was a different boy in his bed. Of course in Peter Pan's case, he could have returned at any time, so really he's the jerk for letting his mother think he was gone forever.
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** There's also that if Garion doesn't marry the princess, a centuries-old treaty will be voided and the resulting diplomatic disaster will irreparably sunder the armies of the West at just the exact time all goodly nations need to unify to avoid being crushed by said evil god. Add in that Garion ''is'' falling genuinely in love with Ce'Nedra and vice versa, and that Zubrette's life expectancy would be measured in days if she tried to share the rigors of the quest with Garion, and, well, who can blame him for not wanting to ruin her marriage and then end her life in the same month.
* At the end of [[Edgar Rice Burroughs]]'s ''[[John Carter of Mars|The Chessmen of Mars]]'', Djor Kantos reveals that, believing her dead, he had married another. She's delighted. By [[Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends]] that way, he had freed her from [[The Promise]], and she can marry the hero.
* In one of the [[Brother Cadfael]] novels by [[Ellis Peters]], it turns out that the murdered man's wife used to be Cadfael's
* At the beginning of the novel ''[[American Gods]]'', the main character, Shadow, is finally getting out of prison and can't wait to see his wife again. Unfortunately for him, not only did his wife just died in a car crash, but she unwittingly caused said car crash, by giving a blowjob to the driver, Shadow's best friend. Poor guy, especially considering that she was part of the reason he was in jail for the first time. {{spoiler|She then come back as a zombie and try to apologize}}
* In [[Tranquilium]], the female main character falls in love with the hero. The hero is then separated from her for a long time, eventually leading her to reunite with her husband, whom she never got around to divorcing (this turns out to have been the right choice, as they discover they still do love each other after all).
* In ''[[Great Expectations]]'', Pip ignores Biddy's obvious love for him as he fruitlessly pursues Estella. After he realizes the error of his life choices, he returns to claim Biddy as his bride, only to find out she has married Joe instead.
* The introduction to the first legal edition of ''[[Lady Chatterley's Lover]]'' discusses definitions of obscenity and offers us this example: "I come home after three fucking years in fucking Africa [fighting in [[WW
* In [[P. G.
* In ''[[The Scarlet Letter]]'', Hester's husband has been separated from her, and she (erroneously, it turns out) believes he's dead, and falls into the arms (and bed) of Reverend Dimmsdale. She becomes pregnant, thus bringing the affair into the open, and setting the story into motion.
== Live-Action TV ==
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* ''[[Degrassi]]'' has Leia and who breaks up with Danny in the hope that he'll want her more. He's relieved for it to be over though. Anya expects that if she's happy without Sav then he'll want her back but he realizes that he really doesn't want a manipulator.
* On ''[[The Middle]]'' this is [[Played for Laughs]]. Sue's first boyfriend, Matt, moves to another school. They then attempt a long-distance relationship, but Matt keeps talking about this other girl he met that is showing him around the new school and being really nice to him. Sue doesn't get the hint that he's started dating the other girl until Matt outright breaks up with her.
== Music ==
* Soul song by The Five Stairsteps - "You Waited Too Long"
* British folk song "The House Carpenter" ([[Child Ballad]] #243). It doesn't end
* In the Who's rock opera album [[Tommy]] and in the subsequent movie, the title character's father, Captain Walker, goes off to war and is later declared missing in action and presumed dead. Tommy's mother then remarries. This may have seemed like a decent idea until Captain Walker returns home, and going by the album version kills her new husband or in the film is killed by him.
* The main theme of the song Long Lost Love by Great Big Sea. He leaves home and his sweetheart for work, stays away too long, and eventually he receives a letter saying she's moved on.
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* "Whiskey Lullaby" by Brad Paisley and Alison Kraus has this as its theme, coupled with guilt on the girlfriend's part. The music video's opening makes it especially clear.
== Newspaper Comics ==▼
* In [[Funky Winkerbean]], during the second [[Time Skip]], Wally is apparently killed and buried, and Becky remarries. Lately, Wally has returned. It seems the body was misidentified. Very awkward.▼
* Played for laughs in a ''Herman'' comic. A man in prison tells his wife, "They gave me six weeks. Don't waste your life, Margaret. Find someone else."▼
== Mythology ==▼
== Oral Tradition, Folklore, Myths and Legends ==
* [[Older Than Feudalism]]: Both Agamemnon and his wife Clytemnestra were unfaithful while he was off fighting in the Trojan War. When he returned, his wife and/or her lover murdered him.
** Although the fact that he [[Human Sacrifice|sacrificed their daughter]] for the gods' favor may have had something to do with it. As well as bringing home his new squeeze, Cassandra.
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** Penelope was dealing with dimwitted suitors who were happy to live off her nation while they waited for her to make a choice. Odysseus was dealing with goddesses who ''don't'' handle rejection well. He did only what he had to do to get home to his wife and not, y'know, be transformed into a pig for the rest of his life. And even when offered a goddess, he still just wanted Penelope.
▲== Newspaper Comics ==
▲* In [[Funky Winkerbean]], during the second [[Time Skip]], Wally is apparently killed and buried, and Becky remarries. Lately, Wally has returned. It seems the body was misidentified. Very awkward.
▲* Played for laughs in a ''Herman'' comic. A man in prison tells his wife, "They gave me six weeks. Don't waste your life, Margaret. Find someone else."
* Mocked in ''[[The Pirates of Penzance]]'' with the line:
{{quote|
And here is food for joyous laughter:
She will be faithful to her sooth
Till we are wed, '''and even after'''. }}
** Note that Mabel was pledging to wait over 60 years.
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*** On top of that, he thought Kim was dead. Which isn't a wild stretch of the imagination considering Kim was a hooker married to an American GI and she'd just seriously pissed off a North Vietnamese officer.
** This is the tried-and-true ''[[Madame Butterfly]]'' plot.
* ''[[Two Gentlemen of Verona]]'': Proteus is sent off to visit his friend Valentine. He tearfully leaves his beloved, Julia, swearing to be
* In ''Pilgrims Musa and Sheri in the New World'', Musa falls in love with Sheri while his fiancee Gamila is away in Cairo. When Gamila returns, the sparks start to fly.
== Video Games ==
* You. [[Video Game Cruelty Potential|Yes, you]] in ''[[Mass Effect 2]]''. Assuming you romanced Kaidan, Ashley, or Liara (none of whom will join you in your adventures the second time around) in the first game and they survived only for you to choose to romance a different person in the second game, it's this. ''Particularly'' if you start a romance with one of the new love interests ''before'' meeting your old flame for their [[One-Scene Wonder]]. Depending on how that meeting goes down though, you may or may not feel guilty about it.
** While you were {{spoiler|dead}}, Kaidan's friends convinced him to begin seeing a doctor, since it's not like most guys expect their ex-girlfriends to {{spoiler|come [[Back
{{quote|
** Ashley doesn't mention if she saw anyone while Shepard was dead, but Liara ''definitely'' didn't move on. She's been too busy {{spoiler|[[Violently Protective Girlfriend|trying to take down the Shadow Broker for trying to sell your body to the Collectors]]}}, and if you romanced her in the first game, {{spoiler|you're then given the opportunity to hook back up with her in some DLC and pick up where you left off, averting this trope in her case.}} And if you did cheat on her and mutually agree to break up, she seems to take it well and wish you happiness.
** Shepard has a picture of whoever the romance in the first game was in his/her room. If you choose to start a new romance, it'll be turned face down... so this ''will'' [[Your Cheating Heart|come back to haunt you]] in the third game.
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== Web Comics ==
* Parodied in the webcomic ''[[Xkcd]]'', [http://xkcd.com/57/ here].
* In ''[[Bittersweet Candy Bowl]]'', Mike is in a [[Long-Distance Relationship]] with Sandy. After he rejects a [[Love Confession]], one of his friends [[Invoked Trope|invokes this]] by telling him flat-out he should dump Sandy and get together with the local [[Love Interest]], as "long distance relationships never work out anyway". Mike isn't too pleased at having ''his'' feelings on the matter brushed away and his love for Sandy trivialized, and it only damages his friendship with the others.
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== Western Animation ==
* A parody of ''[[The Shawshank Redemption]]'' was used on ''[[Drawn Together]]'', though working at a lemonade stand was used instead of marriage...
* A man frozen in ice in the ''[[South Park]]'' episode ''Prehistoric Ice Man'' returns to find his wife has remarried and had two children with her new husband, who are eight and thirteen. He's understandably confused since he was only gone for three years...
{{quote|
** Oddly enough [[Based on a True Story]] from Nederland, Colorado, not too far from the actual South Park the show takes place in. Well, barring the guy coming back to life, that is.
* Done for laughs in the ''[[Futurama]]'' movie ''Bender's Big Score''. Hermes's body was damaged and would take a week or two to repair while his head was kept alive in a jar. His wife Labarbara said that a week was too long, so she ''immediately'' hooked up with her ex-husband Barbados Slim. All this over Hermes's vocal protestations.
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* There's a couple stories floating around about men who went off to fight in wars (most notably, the Mexican-American War) with their girlfriends promising to wait, and when they get back, they find out their girlfriend - didn't. Usually by walking in on their girlfriend and her lover.
** War is not even a necessary prerequisite. At least in Russia the (un)commitment of girls waiting for their drafted boyfriends to return from the service (two years until recently and one year now) is a common topic of drama both in fiction and in real life. More often than not it can turn ugly, as the thoughts of their betrothed ones are usually among the few things that keep the conscript's spirit high throughout the army hardships and a sudden hammer slam of a letter saying "[[You Have Waited Long Enough|I Have Waited Long Enough]]" can become that last straw that breaks the camel's back and lead to violent or suicidal behavior. Sometimes they desert and venture to "sort the things out". Sometimes they take their guns with them.
* [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/huff-wires/20100721/eu-poland-escape-from-auschwitz/ There was a young man in World War II]{{Dead link}} who freed his Jewish girlfriend from the camps by pretending to be a Nazi soldier. However, they got separated while they were trying to get out of the country. Neither waited for the other, and both got married. When they finally met up again as old folks, her husband had died but his wife had not. In a rare show of honor for this type of story (usually, in fiction at least, the old lovers get back together no matter what), the guy wouldn't leave his wife for his old flame, and [[The Mourning After|she died never talking to him again]].
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A subtrope involves a young man going on an adventure in order to impress the object of his affections, and returning to find that she's become engaged, or even married, while he was away. (Often her choice will demonstrate that what ''really'' impresses her is a man with a steady job who can be relied on to stay by her instead of disappearing off on adventures.)
{{examples}}
* ''[[The Lost World (novel)|The Lost World]]'' by [[Arthur Conan Doyle]].
* ''[[The Witches of Karres]]'' by [[James H. Schmitz]].
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{{reflist}}
[[Category:{{PAGENAME}}]]
[[Category:Just for Pun]]
[[Category:Older Than Feudalism]]
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