Just Plane Wrong/Quotes

"Mike: So... these jets were all fueled, and tuned up, and ready to go after a thousand years?!

Kevin: Yes, Mike.

Mike: And a bunch of knuckle-dragging cave dwellers with spears took a break from picking nits off each other and eating them for a few days and taught themselves to become top-level fighter pilots?

Bill: Yes, Mike.

Mike: And that, somehow, these exact same weapons - well maintained and on alert, mind you - did not save the human race from the aliens one thousand years ago, when the humans who actually made these weapons were alive? You know, the humans that did not wear goat skins, and sacrifice goats, and smell like goats, and marry goats?

Kevin: Yes, Mike.

Mike: And is there any reason that I should not dedicate my life to building a Time Machine, so that I can eventually travel back to the set of Saturday Night Fever and infuse the heels of Travolta's disco shoes with nitroglycerin, so that he is eliminated from history and this movie never gets made?!

Bill: Um... no, Mike. (Beat) Go nuts... I think you just did."

- Riff Trax, Battlefield Earth