Stop Helping Me!/Laconic

No, seriously. Stop helping me. You're only making it worse.

"The main article is right HERE!! Just use the mouse or touchpad and drag the cursor over the word "HERE" and click the left button! Be careful not to click anything else or you may end up someplace you don't want to be! Just drag the cursor right over the blue, underlined word "HERE", click, and you're golden! Don't click the right button or you'll bring up the context menu! Just click anywhere else should that happen and try again! Just use gentle movements with the cursor and you'll eventually get it!"