The Skydivers

Described by Mystery Science Theater 3000 as "like Manos without the lucid plot", The Skydivers is less a horror movie and more a very dull soap-opera, about the employees of a small parachuting club.

The "plot" involves the eponymous skydivers getting away from their bland, loveless marriages with bland, loveless affairs, watching Coleman Francis's extended family go-go dancing, and either killing, dying, or suffering total mental breakdown as a result of all the deaths. They even skydive, occasionally.

Apparently to make up for the almost dialogue free The Beast of Yucca Flats, the film consists almost entirely of stilted dialogue punctuated by Stock Footage of parachutists. That would be fine, if the dialogue wasn't all like this:

"Beth: Do you want some coffee?

Joe: Coffee? I like coffee!"

Still, Skydivers is merely "poor" by comparison with the final film in Coleman Francis' trilogy... Red Zone Cuba.

For tropes and specifics relating to the Mystery Science Theater 3000 version, please see the episode recap.

This film contains examples of:
"Crow: (sighing) Honey, even if a hairstyle is in, it may not be the right hairstyle for you."
 * Buxom Is Better: Holy cow, the "beefy girl" at the party has a RACK!
 * Downer Ending
 * Femme Fatale: Suzy.
 * Gender Blender Name: The actress who plays Beth is apparently named Kevin.
 * Hey, It's That Guy!: Tony Cardoza, the ubiquitous actor/director/producer. Aside from producing and starring in Coleman Francis' movies, he also produced Hellcats. He got his start co-producing Ed Wood's Night of the Ghouls.
 * Hot Amazon / Brawn Hilda: And HOW. The "beefy girl" at the party, who even picks up a guy and tosses him like a beanbag.
 * Informed Attractiveness - Suzy is supposedly the sultry temptress of the parachuting camp, beautiful enough to drive men to murder. In fact, in the words of The Agony Booth, "by the looks of it, I'd say Suzy's had three, maybe four kids, is about 40, wears granny panties, and has been hitting the donuts, hard".
 * Beth. "She keeps getting prettier every day."


 * Beth at least is cute in a "small town, small dating pool" way. Suzy doesn't even make it into that category.
 * Lifetime Movie of the Week: In some weird way, anyway.
 * Must Have Caffeine: Everyone in this movie. Affairs are built and lives are destroyed around cups of coffee.
 * It's a Coleman Francis movie. They all revolve around coffee.
 * Product Placement: One scene has a very obvious van in the background advertising a local restaurant. The camera actually seems more focused on the van than the characters. The fact this is done during what's supposed to be a tense and emotional scene makes it extremely jarring.
 * Revenge Before Reason: Suzy invents a stupid plot to kill Harry because she's angry at being jilted, pretty much. Despite the fact she's apparently wealthy and she has another man who's willing to do anything for her, while Harry has a stale marriage and a three-man sport parachuting business. She has nothing to gain from his death, but she does it anyway.
 * Rich Bitch: Suzy. Her "paw" gave her everything, but she's still "mean".
 * Shown Their Work: To be fair, the skydiving is 100% accurate, including the target fixation scene, which is a real danger to skydivers. (Considering the film was shot around a real skydiving school, it should be.)
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?: This film makes guys jumping out of a plane look boring.
 * Xtreme Sport Xcuse Plot