Alcohol-Induced Idiocy/Quotes

""An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.""

- Charles Darwin

"Kyle: Dude, why is your store called the Indian Burial Ground Pet Store?

Store owner: Well there was an indian burial ground here before I bought it.

Stan: So you just built your store on an indian burial ground!?

Store owner: Oh hell no. First I dug up all the bodies, pissed on them and then buried them again upside down

Kyle: Why!?

Store owner: Why? I don't know. I was drunk."

- South Park

"Dwight Conrad: I heard alcohol makes you stupid.

Fry: No I'm... doesnt!"

- Futurama: "Route of All Evil"

"Penny: [My ex boyfriend] got arrested for taking a whiz on a cop car.

Leonard: What?

Penny: He was drunk.

Leonard: I would hope so!"

- The Big Bang Theory