Deadpool/Funny

What can I say? I'm a funny guy. "Domino: Okay, what's the plan?
 * Special mention must be made of Deadpool 1.11, in which I went back in time and ended up in Amazing Spider-Man #47. Me and Blind Al took the places of Peter and May Parker. And, being kind to the little people, it doubled as a CMoA for artist Pete Woods, who pulled a Forrest Gump on ASM 47 and does a fantastic job of emulating John Romita.
 * Another notable moment is in an issue of Spider-Man in which I was hired to waylay the chump. I had paid extra for these sweet Blackest Night tie-in boots, and let that little nugget drop. None other than Geoff Johns endorsed my plug. The Merc With The Mouth is money!
 * One that's kinda a hybrid of Funny and Awesome -- like I'm capable of anything else, right? -- comes in one of the Preludes to Deadpool Corps. On a jungle island and faced with a bunch of murderous pirates, I got shot by a ton of bullets. Now that hurt like a bitch, but I ain't a bitch, so I got up. I got shot by even more bullets, got up again... and let them know that "Now I get to shoot you." One headshot, one chest shot, and one sword through the chest of another guy. And that's how you do that.
 * "It was a routine assignment...", said one of my little yellow boxes. Cue me garroting a guy in a Santa outfit with barbed wire.
 * There was a team-up with Captain Britain where the two of us ended up switching cultures, so that Captain Britain ended up Canadian/American, and I ended up -sigh- British. However, thanks to my healin' factor I eventually became SUPA-BRITISH!!! All of the strengths of being British (honor, chivalry, a knightly attitude), with none of the weaknesses (like bad grammar, self-deprecating humor, poor dentistry), except for the one where I couldn't finish off a downed and defenseless opponent.
 * The Etiquette Lesson
 * This exchange in a recent Cable (he's so dreamy!) comic:

Cable: Charge the citadel. Take out Stryfe. Get Hope back. That's the plan.

Me: AWESOME PLAN."


 * Yeah, Silver Sable was an expert in hand-to-hand combat, left-arm-sword-to-ninja-guy's-head combat, and REDACTED to-trachea combat.
 * Marvel vs. Capcom 3 intro: I appear to be thumbing through a book which could possibly be the script for the game. When I'm the team leader, I say: "Who was I supposed to kill again? Eh, doesn't matter!" When I got beaten feel like giving my opponent a pity score, I say to you: "You pressed the wrong button!"
 * When I trigger the good ol' X-Factor in Marvel vs. Capcom 3: "Anime power up!!"
 * In this demo of Marvel vs. Capcom 3's Simple Mode, I drop a "Yo Momma!" during my slide attack and when I defeat Viewtiful Joe in that same vid, I drop this: "I hear bullets taste just like chicken!"
 * Aside from the fact that my backwards walk is the Moonwalk, my winquotes are also a bit of a riot. I even quote Yipes here, albeit a slightly edited version of Yipes' original words (stupid ESRB rules). I also ask Capcom to give me the cover of the next Street Fighter! In other news, I totally do not like "Chun Li-Pool". Those hips DO NOT go with my mask. AT ALL.
 * "Noooooo! Thaaat waas myy faavoourite guuuun!!"
 * During my "Let's make Weasel miserable again" arc, Weasel lures me outside to fight by having the managers announce that the participants of a Bea Arthur lookalike contest are just arriving outside. I get outside and all I see is a gigantic suit of power armor. My reaction? "This guy doesn't look ANYTHING like Bea Arthur!"
 * In a recent Deadpool Team Up, I was paired with Machine Man, aka Aaron (@*&! Stack. The issue started with me working on a gun that shoots rabid hamsters into people's faces. And things only get nuttier from there. The issue included the following, in no particular order: Machine Man bursting into my not so secret anymore headquarters to make me pay the money I owe an insurance company for all the money I've cost them, me shooting Machine Man in the face with the previously mentioned Rabid Hamster Gun, him convincing me to work with him to take on a villain that was about to cost the insurance company in one day more than I have in all of my illustrious career (thus far, but then, I haven't actually been trying to make them lose money... yet), me and Machine Man causing more than a little property damage taking on a Puppet Master wannabe, me considering working with the puppet master (I could have had Osborne and Cable have a slap fight to the death for my entertainment, or have the cast of The Facts Of Life hold a lingerie pillow fight... TO THE DEATH!!!), both of us picking on the wannabe for looking like a girl, me getting mind controlled and nearly eating a grenade,(not really, I was just kidding around. Besides, have you ever eaten a grenade? I have. It's actually kinda neat. After like a second, it quits hurting until I regenerate most of my nervous system), then Machine Man ruining my fun by stopping the puppet master by remodeling one of the Puppet Master's puppets to work on him, causing one hostage unbearable agony in the process, me throwing the puppet out the window, and finally, me using the puppet master's magic puppets to hold a rabid hamster dance party. Ah, good times, good times.
 * "The - chicken - said - peep!"
 * In a recent Deadpool Team-up, I got to work with one of my favorite heroes (asides from myself, of course, but hey, I get to work with me whether I want to or not, so that doesn't count), Thor! I got to be pummeled by The Mighty Thor! *Fanboy Squee!*
 * I get to meet my idol STORM SHADOW in this comic! *Fanboy Squee!*
 * So Norman Osborne thinks he can get rid of me, eh? LOL.
 * In which I got CAPTAIN AMERICA to sit on my lap.
 * Narrating my own life out loud in the first issue of my first ongoing, and using that as a distraction to take out the southern banana republic goons that were after me. Also, my wisecracks about the battle armor I bump into. Also, the wisecracks I throw at Sasquatch during my fight with him. Also, my funeral plans as I shared them with Sasquatch. Aw, hell, the entire first issue of my first ongoing. Except the part where I get stiffed on my payment.
 * My fight with Taskmaster in the second issue of my first ongoing! I kick his butt using my phat dance moves!
 * "Notice the lateral movement as he easily evades this blow--" "Notice how I rearrange your face so that solid food is no longer an option--"
 * As discussed in my Awesome section, this encounter I had with Bullseye. Do you have to ask why it's here, too? Seriously? Have you SEEN his facial expression after what I did?!
 * Donning a classic Marvel Girl outfit when I teamed up with the X-Men to attack Cable, since he'd have been too distracted by my sexy legs to fight back. Sadly, I ended up not going through with it, but I did keep the yellow panties.
 * In a team-up with Wolverine, I got to wear another one of Jeannie's fabulous outfits to distract an evil robot. (I was wearing my uniform under it this time though.)
 * The part in Cable and Deadpool where I get caught by Black Mamba and am forced to reveal my deepest darkest desire. A violent sociopath like me must have some really messed up fantasies, right? ...Cue me rubbing suntan lotion on Cable's back at the beach. And asking if I can use WD-40 on his techno-organic arm.