Fire Blogger/Funny

"Fire Blogger: So that’s it? Just say, “Could you rearrange the cross-country meeting?” and you’ll get it changed? That’s all it would’ve taken? Bravo. You made one of the most pointless subplots in sitcom history. All of this could’ve been resolved with a simple visit to the school."
 * The Middle Episode 2x01 "Back To School"
 * His list of things he'd rather do than watch The Middle. The list:
 * Give birth to a full-grown elephant
 * Jump into a pool of lava
 * Watch Tyler Perry’s House of Payne
 * Swallow a live porcupine
 * Cut off my fingers, toes, arms, and legs, shred by shred
 * Get leprosy
 * Get the worst migraine ever
 * Play Gods & Generals on the PC
 * Get sandwiched between two big rigs
 * Get my skull crushed by an anvil
 * Read YouTube comments
 * His predictions of how the episode would end, and his reactions when they happened exactly how he predicted.
 * Every time he makes fun of a scene with Doris Roberts. EVERY time.
 * The Middle Episode 2x02 "Homecoming"
 * ->Fire Blogger: Come on, Reid. Do you really think we’re stupid enough to believe he’s just “quirky” like you’re advertising him to be? Let’s take a look at The Middle’s ratings. *beat* Do you really think I’m stupid enough to believe he’s just “quirky” like you’re advertising him to be?
 * His impression of Alex Reid while ranting on the raking subplot.
 * Alex Reid: HURRRRRRRRRRR RAKING = COMEDY GOLD.
 * His reaction to "the dumbest sitcom subplot ever".

"Fire Blogger: Ha ha ha, sexism is so funny."
 * The Middle Episode 2x03 "The Diaper Incident
 * His Running Gag about wanting to play inFAMOUS.
 * Talking about how creepy Sue looks at Sean.
 * Sarcastically calling Brick a Myth Buster.
 * His prediction of Frankie being directed to the adult diapers, and his reaction when it happens.
 * Pointing out Sean and Axl's Pac-Man Fever.
 * All of his reactions to Sue's obnoxious subplot.
 * After writing in Brad's dialog, he follows up with a Not Making This Up Disclaimer.
 * The Middle Episode 2x04 "The Quarry"
 * He used the picture on the page for Anvilicious.
 * His rant on the entire arcade scene, pointing out that it's hard to find places that have food and arcades, singing Crossfire, and pointing out all of the inaccuracies of the scene.
 * Calling the guitar music "the guitar equivalent of "buh-dum-tsh"".
 * And finally...

"Fire Blogger: Maybe she thinks about Sean a little bit too much.
 * The Middle Episode 2x05 "Foreign Exchange"
 * The predictions strike again as Fire Blogger bets that the unchecked car was going to be Chekhov's Gun.
 * Three words: CUTE WIDDLE WACIST!
 * Pointing out the large number of sexist and racist jokes.
 * Pointing out that Sue always appears to be... "out of breath".

Fire Blogger: OH, NO! WHO'S GOING TO DO THE CHORES TODAY?!HOW WILL THIS COMPLICATED, LAYERED CONFLICT EVER BE RESOLVED?!

Fire Blogger: So what does Takayuki look like? He has a blank, stoic expression, permanently frozen on his face. He probably realized just what he got into by selling his soul for fame and signing a contract with idiots.

Fire Blogger: In the middle of an argument, Takayuki says that “he can fix car”. We get dialog made of nothing but “I can fix car” “you can fix car” and “he can fix car”. Suddenly, I’m reminded of that famous Lolcat, “I CAN HAZ CHEESEBURGER?”"


 * The Middle Episode 2x06 "Halloween"
 * Pointing out that having two episodes whining about how teenagers suck, and then have two episodes committed to saying that being a teenager is hard, is completely inconsistent with the show's message.
 * Mixing up TimTom's name with several various Teletubby-style names.
 * Singing "Hearts On Fire" during a montage sequence.
 * Noticing that Brick and Sue have been the same age and height for the past three years.
 * Cringing at Brick's terrible Scottish accent.
 * All of his comments toward TimTom.
 * The Middle Episode 2x07 "A Birthday Story"
 * His reaction towards Axl's movie theater job from out of nowhere.
 * Noting how sexist Axl's story arc was.
 * "Cue the Full House Music."
 * TiK ToK Covered By Kidz Bop
 * "If in any universe Kidz Bop decided to cover Metallica, they would make it sound like "Walking On Sunshine."
 * "YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY/YOU'VE BEEN HIT BY/ A SMOOOOOTH LYRICIST!"
 * Making multiple accurate comparisons between Kidz Bop and Glee.
 * His comments on "I'm alright until we see the sunlight" line. "Are they vampires?! I guess that would make a little sense, since they suck the greatness out of good songs, and plain suck, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!"
 * Baby Covered By Kidz Bop
 * Pretty much the whole post, in spite of its short length. He goes insane by trying to figure out what's worse: Kidz Bop or Justin Bieber.
 * FireBlog Riff: The Middle Episode 2x08 "Errand Boy"
 * Once again, predicting that Sue has not gotten rid of the cross country sweatshirt.
 * Groaning when he realizes that the writers are going to make Axl's inability to correctly say "FYI" into a Running Gag.
 * It's in this riff where we basically see why one should not abuse the Gilligan Cut. Fire Blogger is basically beginning to sense them from a mile away.
 * "If being unfunny was a crime, and cancellation was considered punishment, this show would’ve lasted less long than Australia’s Naughtiest Home Videos."
 * His notable use of caps lock, showing just how insane he is getting by the stupidity of the show.
 * Noting that even though Mike and Sue are watching Eclipse, Eclipse wasn't even released on DVD at the time the episode was filmed, or aired, and coming to the conclusion that Mike and Sue are watching a pirated version of the movie.
 * Pointing out that he can handle anything that the show throws at him... only that a few paragraphs later, the show's stupidity has reached a magnitude to where his brains begin bleeding out of his ears, and then needing to hurry up with random shouts of gibberish, so that he can get to the emergency room.
 * FireBlog Riff: The Middle Episode 2x09 "Thanksgiving II"
 * The entire post. This may be the FireBlogger's first full length crowning post of funny.
 * FireBlog Riff: The Middle Episode 2x10 "A Simple Christmas"
 * Quoting Indiana Jones when Frankie uses the overused, "ah, Christmas" line.
 * His reaction to the Twelve Days Of Christmas Overly Long Gag.
 * Noting that the stock materialism story for Christmas episodes is like "drugs are bad" storylines.
 * Quoting Good Burger after seeing the card titled, "The Second Day Of Christmas".
 * Noticing how Sue is spinning a sign to advertise a Christmas tree lot... right in front of the lot that she's advertising, rather than a block or two away.
 * Pointing out why Frankie is a "bit-kuh".
 * The picture of the kids at Christmas morning, and the caption, pointing out how creepy Sue looks.
 * "THIS IS THE TROPE "VIEWERS ARE MORONS" TAKEN UP TO ELEVEN!"
 * Referring to Full House Music, Golden Moment, and Tastes Like Diabetes in one sentence.
 * His reaction to the manipulative "we still love each other no matter what, because we're family" ending.
 * FireBlog Riff: The Middle Episode 2x11 "Taking back The House"
 * Dramatically exclaiming his joy when Sue finally takes off the sweatshirt for good, and then, when Sue says something dramatic, he berates her for being so dramatic.
 * Pointing out Alex Reid's third attack on teenagers.
 * He referenced the five second movie for Chronicles of Narnia!
 * All of his reactions to Brick's raunchy jokes are funny, but the crowner is when Brick talks about finding a hard edition of Moby Dick, resulting in a hypothetical scenario in which The Middle is a fast-food restaurant.
 * Making a fake advertisement for The Middle.