Burn After Reading/Funny

"Chad Feldheimer: I am very fucking surprised he did not give us that reward."
 * The entirety of the conversation between Osbourne Cox and Chad Feldheimer (and later Linda Litzke) over the phone.

"I guess we learned not to do it again... I'm fucked if I know what it was we did."
 * "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN HERE, YOU FUCKER?!"
 * "I'm not here representing Hardbodies."
 * 'I know you. You're in LEAGUE with that idiotic woman. You're part of a LEAGUE of idiots.'
 * "You think it's a Schwinn!"
 * "I thought you might be worried..." "Worried?" "About the security...of your shit."
 * That scene . I saw the movie in the cinema and it was the most impressive control of audience emotions I've ever seen. The whole audience went from distraught to cracking up simultaneously.
 * Any scene where Chad tries to blackmail Osbourne Cox.
 * The chair.
 * The entire final conversation between the Director and Palmer.