The Penguins of Madagascar/Funny

"Marlene: What does Fred like? What does he dislike?
 * Fred the squirrel. His literal-mindedness turns all of his dialogue into pure funny -- especially in "Otter Things Have Happened," when Marlene (who is dating him) doesn't realize at first that Fred's not trying to be funny.

Fred: Oh, I like a lot of things. Except the things I don't like. Stupid things I don't like!

Marlene: You are really funny!"

"King Julien: We are here to fight for Marlene's paw!
 * It gets better when he and King Julien duke it out over Marlene:

Fred: Nah, she can keep her paw. I already have four of my own. (balances on tail, sticking hands and feet in air)"

"Marlene: Fred, what did you do to him?
 * And during the fight, Fred didn't do anything, yet he still won.

Fred: Nothing. He did it all on his own.

King Julien: (rising beaten, bruised, and black eyed) I hate to admit it, but this is true."

"Private: My name backwards is "Etavirp." What's a virp? Is it sugar?"
 * Any time Mort acknowledges his status as The Chew Toy: "Yay, I'm expendable!"
 * "Yay, job security!"
 * Private's sugar buzz in "Skorca!" which allows him to ramble off a large number of non sequiturs:

"Future Kowalski #2: Skipper! You've got to stop me!
 * The other penguins pretending to fight the Skorka to appease Private, especially Kowalski being "dragged away".
 * Julien getting scared of "Two-Scoopula," an inflatable shaped like an ice cream cone, at the end of the same episode.
 * The end of "Tagged," where the scientist shows the new examples of penguin communication: the "up high," the "down low" and the "too slow."
 * The end of "Crown Fools," where the penguins and Marlene realize that they have gone through some tough tasks to recover Julien's crown, only to realize after the fact that he had a spare. Rico spits up a crowbar, which Marlene then grabs and chases Julien with.
 * Private interrupting Kowalski's epic plan to take back the jar containing Julien's groove in "Out of the Groove" by saying, "Wouldn't it be easier to simply sneak into the baboon habitat and take the jar...like I just did?"
 * The I Know You Know I Know exchange from "Go Fish", especially once it gets to the Mind Screw-ing reveal that Julien and Skipper are actually each other.
 * "No, I will not suck seed. No one will be sucking seed!" manages to be an epic Getting Crap Past the Radar and a CMoF at the same time.
 * Seconds later, he has another: "We shall see who is ridiculous when popcorn begins exploding from my bottom!"
 * "Buffalo Fire Fighters." Oh my.
 * "Baby Fat Flingers?"
 * "Tell me we came out of the MOUTH." -In full deadpan mode.
 * "It's About Time" had loads of these.

Skipper: (kicks him)

Future Kowalski #2: (falls over) Ow!

Skipper: (deadpan) There. You're stopped."

"Kowalski: Oh, sure. And while we're at it, let's call the Great Wall a "fence," the Mona Lisa a "doodle" and Albert Einstein "Mr. Smarty-pants!!!""
 * All the funnier because Private pulled something similar earlier.
 * Kowalski's reasoning for naming the Chrono-Tron as thus instead of just a time machine as the others suggested:

""I thought hippies were nonviolent!"
 * In "Hello, Dollface", Rico wants a voice chip for his doll, so Private gives him one from a unicorn doll that's supposed to parody little girl educational shows (it says stuff like "be true to yourself", "don't hurt others", etc.). After Rico gets angry at it, Julien tells him to listen to whatever the doll says. Hilarity Ensues, culminating in Hippie!Rico beating up the others with Ms Perky.

"Eh, whaddyagonnado ..." *WHACK*"

""I kissed your sister! On the lips!"
 * "Snakehead" is chock full of funny moments. This troper's personal favorite was Skipper's Captain's Log:
 * "Skipper's log. Crew nervous, edgy, gripped by the icy fingers of fear. They may be planning a mutiny..."
 * "Skipper's log. The crew is performing spectacularily and not at all like a bunch of nancy cats."
 * "Kowalski's log" *sees Rico and Private staring at him* "What? Too soon?"
 * The training montage in "Whispers and Coups".
 * "This is my peashooter! There are many like it...."
 * Hans' Epic Fail of an attempt to insult Skipper:

"I don't have a sister, and if I did, she wouldn't have lips!"

"Really? ...Then who did I kiss...?""

"Kowalski: Here is a pie chart of gifts one might give to a friend - cards, flowers, pastries, and of course, pie.
 * The same episode gave us this exchange:

Rico: Yum.

Kowalski: On the other hand, here are things one might give to an enemy - wedgies, contagious viruses, flaming sacks of doo-doo, and of course, poison pie.

Rico: Not yum."

"Kowalski: "Avian Insanity"? Where would she get that idea?
 * From "Love Hurts", after a nurse diagnoses them:

[cut to Rico snarling and relentlessly gnawing his cage bars]"

"Kowalski: They eat nothing but leaves, the ladies carry their young in pouches, and they sleep all day.
 * After Skipper asks Kowalski to describe koalas:

Skipper: (deadpan) Oh. A hippie."

"Man: Maybe the Polar Bear's got some new material...
 * Private's enhanced Cuteness Proximity, and the effect it has on everyone, including Alice.
 * In "Cute-Astrophe", when Kowalski dances to try and get the people back to throw food again. And then the looks Skipper and Rico give him... You can't stop looking...

Kowalski: The Polar Bear? *pft* Sure he's the biggest carnivore on land, but can he do this?!

(Boogie music starts to play from nowhere, and Kowalski starts boogeying. Skipper looks exasperated, like he's seen it a dozen times before, while Rico looks mildly nauseated and horrified at the sight)"

"Skipper: I blame the Internet, with its cheap plethora of puppy videos."
 * Kowalski is trying to be cool. Instead he dances like your least cool uncle. On top of everything he moves to slap his own buttocks, but Skipper catches his flipper just in time.
 * Skipper's reason for the people not caring about their adorable antics.

"Skipper: "Kowalski! Concentrate real hard. How do we help you?"
 * Oh, boy Danger Wears a Cape. Three words: STOP BEING NAUGHTY.
 * "Respect the science!"
 * MY CAR!
 * What about hearing it in Chinese in The Movie?
 * Basically everything Mort does in the Blowhole episode. First there's him riding in the wheel of the bike, then him on the subway, hanging there and growling at the terrified people, the line "I took the subway!", and finally the dancing on the control panel.
 * The Monty Python-esque randomness of Kowalski's dialogue in "Brain Drain".

Kowalski: *concentrates* "Eggs ... are ... egg-shaped! That's funny!""

"Skipper: How did you even manage that?!
 * Another from "Brain Drain:"

Kowalski: [walks by with a plunger stuck to his face] Can't hear you! Toilet stick on face!"

"" In. Danger."
 * It only gets better when Skipper, wanting to keep him out of the way, puts him on "line duty"; i.e., following a circle drawn on the floor "and don't stop until you reach the end".
 * "Followthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowthelinefollowtheline....I'VE LOST THE LINE!!!"
 * "I STING YOUR FACE!"
 * In "The Hoboken Surprise", :

"Must. Destroy. Animals."

"Why. Did we. Start talking. Like robots?"


 * shrug*"

"Skipper: Maybe 's'just the medicine talking... are you naked...? ...Oh, we're all naked...!
 * Skipper gets amnesia
 * At the end of the episode "Love Hurts", we have this exchange;

Private: Um...no."

""Stick. Your option is a stick."
 * "In the Line of Doody".

"I pulled the wrong one, alright?!""

""I've rotted away in gulags, work camps, penal colonies in every dirty flea-bitten corner of creation. But I promised myself that I would NEVER end up in Hoboken! At least not alive! I will pluck out my own eyeballs! I swear to you!""
 * Any of Skipper's over-the-top rants about Hoboken Zoo.

"DO A BARREL ROLL!"
 * At the end of "Fit to Print," the penguins are convinced that their cover has been blown, and Skipper begins to assign new identities for when they need to flee New York. He tells Rico to pose as a professor of advanced linguistics at the University of Chicago. Cue 10 glorious seconds of Rico shouting, wailing, and making general random noises.
 * Juilien in Operation Antarctica is a walking parody machine. Most notably...

""I am a handsome vampire. ""
 * Also his acting of a Handsome Vampire. Listen especially close after the "deploy handsome vampire!" part!

"Kowalski: We'll honor him the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like men. (cut to Kowalski, Private, and Rico crying like babies)"
 * The entirety of "I Was A Penguin Zombie."
 * Notable examples:

"Kowalski: Okay, based on what I know about zombies, the safest place to hide is in a small dark room with creepy light. (Skipper jumps up against the window and Private, Kowalski and Rico scream) EVERYTHING I'VE LEARNED IS A LIE!"

"(later when the penguins have cornered Skipper on a roof)

Kowalski: No mercy this time, boys! Rico, see if you can shut off your conscience and sense of decency.

Rico: (spits up a running chainsaw and laughs evilly)"

"Private: Tell me, am I living in a cottage in Nova Scotia, happily married with one egg and another on the way?
 * "Gonna eat my banana. Hope no one TAKES IT!"
 * In "It's About Time", compare Private and then Skipper's questions about the future. Skipper's ideal future is especially freakish.

Kowalski-A: Uh, no.

Private: Aw... (disappointed)"

"Skipper: Tell me, does the Earth become a post-apocalyptic wasteland terrorized by roaming bands of irradiated mutants?
 * In comparison:

Kowalski-B: Uh, no.

Skipper: Aw... (disappointed)"