Fringe/Funny

"Charlie: Well "somewhat" doesn't sound good
 * Charlie's reaction to "Gene" the cow. in the Pilot episode

(Gene snorts)

Charlie: Is that a cow?"

"Peter: Are you okay? Did you take something?
 * Olivia visits Walter and Peter's apartment in the middle of the night. During the usual conversation, Walter keeps shuffling across the floor towards his son. The slow buildup makes it that much better when he shocks him.
 * Plus it looks like a funny dance anyway.
 * Honestly, half the times Walter opens his mouth.

Walter: Psychedelics? No, not since Thursday."

"Woman: Now you're my kinda guy. What is that?
 * From the episode, "Midnight", while in a nightclub searching for a syphilis infected vampire with a raging fever.

Peter: It's a hand-held thermal imaging radiometer: It tells me if you're hot.

Woman: So...?

Peter: So, you're definitely hot. But I'm looking for someone with syphllis.

Woman: Ooookay. *practically flees*


 * Peter walks off with the biggest troll face you have ever seen*"

"Broyles: I remember when the suspect being human was a given, not an option."
 * Same episode:

"Walter: ...I do hope Agent Dunham meant to do that."
 * Dunham is negotiating with a suicidal man on a rooftop, who is influencing a number of other people to also prepare to jump. Cut to Peter and Walter talking at ground level, where a woman plummets onto a car behind them.

"Walter: It's a far more effective demonstration with living tissue... I have some expendable gerbils in the back room--
 * Then there's Walter demonstrating how a radiological treatment made a woman's head explode using "Mr. Papaya" who has been outfitted with big googly eyes and pipe-cleaner limbs. "This is upsetting, 'cause he is the friendliest of fruits." Mr. Papaya goes splat. The Cow moos in surprise.
 * Followed right after by:

Peter: WALTER!"

""My son's teddy bear emits a white noise... As you listen you may feel a sense of deep tranquility, as if you had returned to your mother's womb... Once you are ordered to put on the headphones, do not remove them under any circumstances. If you do, you may die a gruesome and horrible death. Thank you for your attention and have a nice day.""
 * Episode 2x07, "Of Human Action". Walter briefs a tactical squad on how to use the headphones which counteract mind control:

"Walter: They had no right to revoke my membership, no right!
 * In Snakehead, one of the fanged eel-monsters bites Walter on the arm and latches on, and Walter refuses to remove it because he thinks he's getting high.
 * Walter explains to a group of young children at a science museum about how the majority of Magellan's circumnavigation expedition died horrible deaths on the voyage. He then rationalizes why it was a success by telling them that if they looked under their beds at night, a monster might devour them, but their brothers and sisters might hear the noise and investigate and learn something about the monster, so their horrible, horrible deaths would not be in vain. It's at that point that a nearby adult asks him if he works there and he explains that he is just a member of the museum. The very next scene:

Astrid: Walter, you terrified those kids.

Walter: Children should know the truth."

"Walter: "Only thing better then a cow is a person; unless you need milk, then you really need a cow.""
 * From the very first episode.

"Olivia: He used me, Charlie. He told me he loved me.
 * In "The Equation", Walter sings Christmas music in the hopes of trying to remember what is behind the abductions.
 * Let's just say half of "Brown Betty". One highlight is Rachel singing the episode's first big musical number.
 * Singing corpses. That is all.
 * No it's not. What makes it even funnier is the fact that Anna Torv somehow managed to keep a straight face.
 * "Esther Figglesworth."
 * "Death! Delicious, strawberry flavored death!" Immediately followed by a Tear Jerker.
 * After funeral:

Charlie: I wasn't gonna tell you this... but he said he loved me too."

"Freshman: Is this Poly Sci 101?
 * Also a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, since Charlie said that to a miserable Olivia just to make her laugh again.
 * Same episode, Walter is just about to drill a hole into a man's head and the moment is made even funnier by the epic music build that comes just before an ominous knock on the door...

Olivia: Not remotely."

"Walter: You, with the red hair.
 * The alternate universe has a hit musical called Dogs. Just try to imagine that and not laugh.
 * "Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?" has a stoned Walter giving a lecture to a group of Massive Dynamic scientists, including describing the taste of brain, starting to get undressed and spouting off lines like this;

Random scientist: It's black.

Walter: I see red."

"Nina: He's a bit unrthodox.
 * Followed by an exchange between Nina and Peter who are observing the whole debacle:

Peter: He's also tripping his brains out right now. You know that, right?"

"Walter: Did you get everything on the list?
 * There was an even better one in that episode.

Astrid: Yep. [Holds up porn magazine and portrait of George W. Bush] I don't even wanna know."

"Bolvia: "Who was that?"
 * Season 3, "Entrada" has an excellent new word from Walter as he reacts to Peter's falling into Fauxlivia's, as Walter puts it, "Vagenda". The best part it that it is unclear whether the pun was intentional on Walter's part. The second best part is the reaction shot to the line. It is amazing. Just watch...
 * After Peter get's a call about Olivia being trapped in the other world, we have this little nugget:


 * Beat*

Peter: "Apparently I'm eligible for unprecedented savings.""

"Broyles: "This is Colonel Broyles with the FBI. I need to speak with your Executive Director immediately -- yes, it's urgent. Immediately means urgent.""
 * In "Marionette":

"Jessup: Is he insane?
 * Third season, first episode: Of course we know that everything Olivia says is true, but when she tells her story to the cab driver, she sounds exactly like your average delusional and paranoid conspiracy nut, complete with such classic Stock Phrases like "The government is after me!" or (concerning the tattoo) "They must have done this to me!":
 * I can't have been the only one who cracked up laughing when Walter
 * Walter finds a serum that could help his brain regenerate. Problem. There are three vials, one would help a cat's brain, one will help a human, and one for chimpanzees, none are labeled. Walter blindly sniffs the serum and gets a partial chimp brain. Hilarity ensues.
 * Just try and picture Broyles beating Barack Obama at golf and not laugh.
 * Season 02 Premier (About Walter):

Peter: Ooh yes."

"Walter: I'd have to milk you.
 * Astrid in "Os"(s03e14), preparing to dispose of the excess blood Walter's drained from a corpse: "I went to Quantico for this?"
 * "No, Walter. It's still me." Made all the more funnier by the fact
 * Seconded.  is nothing short of hilarious.
 * Oh definitely... Narm Charm at its finest.
 * flirting with Astrid. That is all.
 * Astrid's reaction: Closing the top buttons her blouse.
 * and Walter getting high...and considering putting  consciousness into Gene.


 * We could assign Astrid."

"Scarlie: Hands on the wheel!
 * Let's just say that anything involving  is a CMOF. If only for   attempting to speak in  's voice patterns.
 * From Bloodline. Fauxlivia is kidnapped, Fringe division finds out that Henry has been driving by her place and go to arrest him... and then we have this exchange.

Lincoln: Get out of the car!

Henry: Which one is it!?!


 * Beat*

Lincoln: Get out of the car!"

"Walter: "Belly, why are you a cartoon?"
 * "You may want to escort him, Peter. Yesterday he spent fifteen minutes in front of a utility closet thinking it was the elevator."
 * Bug Girl. She's a big fan of Scarlie.
 * 3x19. Peter and . High on LSD. The later unintentionally. The episode lived up to its name. A bit of Mood Whiplash and Mind Screw when   but otherwise hilarious. Highlights include Peter accusing Broyles of being an Observer and  waving and whistling to an imaginary animated bird on Walter's shoulder.
 * "You're bald ... I think he's an observer!"
 * Also, animated Bell, Peter and Walter.

Bell: "You should ask yourselves that question."

Walter (in a thought bubble): "How wonderful!""

"Peter and the Observer: Apple, bananas, rhinoceros. I want to hold your hand. Lucy in the sky with diamonds."
 * The look on Walter's face when Astrid calls him Wallie.
 * The beginning of "6:02 am". Because Naked People Are Funny, because poor Olivia looked so very traumatized (in a good way) and because Peter laughed it off with a "it's Tuesday." Unfortunately it was followed by the mother of all Mood Whiplashes.
 * The scene where Peter meets the Observer. The best part is when the observer starts going faster than Peter.

"Walter: Kennedy, help me!
 * Walter's back to his old tricks in season 4.

Lincoln: Lincoln!"

"Astrid: Really? It doesn't even start with A."
 * In "Alone in the World," Olivia assures a kid who's afraid of doctors that there's nothing scary about Walter at all. Cue Walter's entrance in full forensic getup, including a blood-spattered lab apron. The reactions of Lincoln, Olivia, and the kid are priceless.
 * Walter calling Astrid "Claire".

"Fauxlivia: Are you flirting with me?
 * This from "Making Angels."

Walter: In your dreams."

""Does he always do all of the jobs?""
 * From the same episode, Astrid's surprised squeal when she meets her alternate. Can I have a pet Astrid please?
 * When Peter is a step ahead of Walter regarding what to do with the dead body they've just found and is personally collecting evidence while giving everyone else orders, Alternate Astrid gets a great line:

"Lincoln: *after Peter shoots his attacker in the shoulder* Nice shot.
 * In case you were wondering why Olivia carries the gun.

Peter: *shrugs* I was aiming for her leg."

"Fauxlivia: What's up, Tyrone?
 * Broyles walks into the lab looking stern. Peter hides the toy he was playing with behind his back.
 * Fauxlivia finally finding out Captain Lincoln Lee's Embarrassing Middle Name after six years.

Captain Lincoln: *horrified* How the hell did you- *sees other Lincoln* Hey.

Agent Lincoln: Hey.

Captain Lincoln: Why would you tell her that?"

"Fauxlivia: Oh what, because nothing says Badass like a flying rat."
 * In the same scene. The Batman VS Mantis debate.

"Peter: *with a face that just screams "I am so over this alternate timeline shit"* This is gonna start getting annoying."
 * Peter, previously The Scully, is caught in a timeloop in Season 4. His reaction?

"Walter: A configuration close to an eagle... but much, much larger.
 * "Unleashed" gives us this conversation while Walter is examining a body and trying to determine what kind of animal killed it.

Peter: Hey. We're looking for Big Bird.

Walter: Don't be ridiculous. Maybe a pterodactyl."

"Walter:No one should be above suspicion. Frankly I'm still upset about Nixon."
 * "Everything In Its Right Place". Walter and Fauxlivia discussing a mole in Fringe Division:

"Olivia: Lose a bet?
 * "These aren't the droids you're looking for." Oh, Walter...
 * Walter drives to a crime scene. Olivia and Peter have this conversation.

Peter: It was that or flying lessons."

"Walter: Olivia...it is you, isn't it?
 * "You're much prettier than your predecessor." Walter says this to the woman who runs St. Claire's.
 * "You realise that that's a myth, right?" says the man from an Alternate Universe and an Alternate Timeline who solves crimes about were-hedgehogs, shapeshifting assassins and evil mole babies, once used the amount of adrenalin in a woman's brain to calculate where she died, can operate a doomsday device from the future and has a girlfriend who can set things on fire with her brain.
 * Walter making sure it's HIS Olivia rescuing him in the hospital in Over There Part 2.

Olivia: Yes, Walter.

Walter: Prove it.

Olivia: Come on, Walter, we don't have time for this.

Walter: Ah...yes it is you. Wonderful. Hi."


 * Meta example, the bloopers reels. All of it. Particularly anything that comes out of Joshua's mouth.
 * Fauxlivia and Peter glare at each other after finding out about Fauxlivia's deception. Fauxlivia, gun in hand, reaches for the syringe... *cue cuckoo bird clock going off and both actors cracking up laughing*
 * A dead shapeshifter bleeding mercury from his eye... Corpsing on the autopsy table.