Two-Step



"Rosi: "Listen, you. I've been camming London every day for years. It's dull."

Tony: "Oh, what crap. You know what your problem is? You spend all day looking for something, and life just doesn't work like that. Sometimes, you just have to let life happen.""

A 2003 three-part comic miniseries written by Warren Ellis and illustrated by Amanda Conner and Jimmy Palmiotti, Two-Step is the story of Rosi Blades, jaded walking webcam, and Tony Ling, freelance black market agent with an interest in Zen philosophy. The two meet in an alternate present London and embark on the chase of a lifetime down the crowded streets of the city, instigating trouble with the notorious Quarry gang, studying the philosophical underpinnings of human flight, and narrowly evading an encounter with a particularly horrible destiny by riding a Vespa down a hundred-story building. It could be all in a day's work, if that's the sort of work you're into.

The series was finally collected, along with original artwork and Warren Ellis' script, in November 2010, and is published by Wildstorm Comics.

Warning: Unmarked spoilers below.

These comic books provide examples of: "Tony: "Nothing's happened. You're still beautiful. I mean I'm still beautiful.""
 * Absurdly Cool City
 * Action Girl: Rosi.
 * Badass in a Nice Suit: Tony.
 * Battle Couple
 * Belligerent Sexual Tension
 * Biker Babe: Rosi again.
 * Black Comedy Rape
 * Camera Fiend: Rosi rarely if ever stops recording and live broadcasting, which occasionally gets her (and others) in trouble.
 * Casual Danger Dialogue: Exchanging Zen parables while speeding through freeway traffic on a Vespa and shooting at a a truck full of pursuing mobsters? Oh yes.
 * The City
 * City of Adventure
 * Cool Bike: Rosi's Vespa.
 * Crash Into Hello: The second time our heroes meet.
 * Dark-Skinned Redhead: Rosi.
 * Electronic Eyes: Rosi, although whether her eyecam is physically a part of her is unclear.
 * False Camera Effects
 * Fantastic Romance
 * Fire-Forged Friends
 * Freudian Slip:


 * Gag Penis: The Quarry gang have a pathological need to be the most well-endowed gang in London. Even if it means getting their "equipment" specially made to be the size of a large brass instrument that plays Ride of the Valkyries when aroused.
 * Gang of Hats: The Quarry gang.
 * Guns Akimbo: Tony.
 * Indy Ploy: Tony wants to trust in the moment. Rosi has a better idea — at the last possible second.
 * In-Universe Camera: In the form of Rosi, the camgirl.
 * Is This Thing Still On?: Tony is not happy to discover that Rosi was broacasting his criminal activities to the world.
 * Ironic Death
 * Jade-Colored Glasses: Rosi sees the world through these (at first).
 * London Gangster: Tony.
 * Male Gaze: Rosi's hovercam can't seem to keep off of her rear end. Meanwhile, Rosi's eyecam can't seem to keep off of Tony's.
 * Meaningful Name: "Ling" means "zero", an important principle in Zen philosophy.
 * Meat-O-Vision: Ron of the Quarry gang sees his victims as cars. Sexy, sexy cars.
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: Rosi Blades.
 * Necktie Leash
 * Not Quite Flight
 * Outlaw Couple: Mostly by accident.
 * Riding Into the Sunset: Sunrise, technically.
 * Smoking Is Cool: Tony.
 * Stuff Blowing Up
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: With a few exceptions, nothing about alternature London seems to faze anyone.