Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy/Funny

"Brick: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
 * The street fight between the five rival newscaster groups, followed by Ron and his friends casually discussing it over beer.

Ron: Brick, I've meaning to talk to you about that. You should probably find a safehouse or a relative closeby; lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder."

""I ate a big red candle."
 * Seriously, Brick has some of the best lines in the film:

"Where'd you buy those clothes...at the toilet store?"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!"

"LOUD NOISES!"

"I love lamp."

"I heard their periods attract bears. The bears can smell the menstruation.""

"Garth: You were my hero Ron! Why'd you have to say that? You come out and stink like that. You poop- you poopmouth, with poop out of your mouth!
 * "I love Scotch. Scotchy Scotch Scotch."
 * "Hey everyone! Come see how good I look!"
 * No love for the infamous Sex Panther (rowrr!)? It's quite pungent.
 * And 60% of the time, it works every time.
 * ...That doesn't make sense.
 * "Tickets to the gun show."
 * "And I'm Ron Burgundy. ."
 * Garth Holliday's emotional response to that.

Ron: Garth, if I would give you some money out of my wallet, would that ease the pain?

Garth: I HATE YOU RON BURGUNDY! I HATE YOU! *storms off*"

""Desire smells like that to some people.""
 * "It smells like Bigfoot's DICK!"
 * "It smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food!"

"Champ Kind: The bottom line is you've been spending a lot of time with this lady, Ron. You're a member of the Channel Four News Team.
 * Ron Burgundy: It's so *hot*! Milk was a bad choice.
 * " NEWS TEAM... ASSEMBLE!"
 * The News Team.
 * Brick talking about himself ("I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks") while spooning mayonnaise into a toaster.
 * "Maybe go to Sea World, take my pants off."
 * "I'M IN A GLASS CAGE OF EMOTION!!"
 * "I IMMEDIATELY REGRET THIS DECISION."
 * In one scene Champ says the following to Ron:
 * In one scene Champ says the following to Ron:

Ron Burgundy: That's a given.

Champ Kind: We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you. I miss you so damn much! I miss being with you. I miss being *near* you. I miss your laugh!

[laugh's playfully and pulls on Ron's sleeve]

Champ Kind: I miss your scent.

[Composes himself, becomes serious]

Champ Kind: I miss your musk... When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!

Brian Fantana: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while?

Ron Burgundy: Maybe sit the next couple plays out."

"Veronica: In case we die here today, there's something that you should know. That dirty trick with the Teleprompter, it wasn't-
 * In the bear pit:

Ron: Sweet Eli Whitney's nose! It wasn't you, was it? It was Wes Mantooth. Oh, I should have known.

Veronica: No, no. No, I did it.

Ron: YOU BITCH!"

""Dammit, who typed a question mark on the teleprompter?""
 * During the credits, one of the deleted scenes has Ron asking Brick if he'll be holding another celebrity golf tournament. Brick declines, and nonchalantly explains because "too many people died last year", so he won't be doing it again.
 * Then Steve Carell immediately breaks into laughter.
 * "YOU ARE A SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER." "YOU LOOK LIKE A BLUEBERRY!" "WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME ON WHORE ISLAND?!"
 * "Well, you have bad hair."
 * Fred Willard's character constantly on the phone as his son's troubles become increasingly ridiculous ("My son was on something called 'acid' and was firing a bow and arrow into a crowd. You know how kids are!")
 * "I have no idea where he could've gotten a hold of German pornography."
 * "Look Chris, just put the gun down and let the marching band go on. We'll write it off as a prank!"
 * "I'm Ron Burgundy?"


 * A delete scene while Ron is still depressed over losing his job. His phone ringed, he picked it up, but no one answers. Ron becomes angry and tells the caller on the other line to either talk or leave him alone.