Mission Impossible (film)/Funny

Mission: Impossible (first film)

 * Jack's deadpan warning to Ethan about the explosive gum: "Just don't chew it."

Mission: Impossible II

 * In the second film, Ambrose and his crew catch up to Ethan trying to get Chimera out of the building it's housed in, causing a huge firefight; Luther is unable to warn Ethan beforehand because he was tied up getting out of the van as a henchman had put a bomb on it. As Luther finally escapes the rubble, Ethan has already been pinned behind cover from being outnumbered. Ethan then gets a warning from Luther that Ambrose was on his way up.

Mission: Impossible 3

 * As Ethan escapes IMF HQ in the third film, he jams the walkie-talkies by holding down the talk button, disabling Brassel's ability to communicate with security. As Ethan comes out of the cover building, he pins the walkie-talkie next to a radio playing "We Are Family" on his way to freedom. Brassel is in disbelief as the song comes over the walkie-talkies, turning to his partner stating, "You have GOT to be kidding me."
 * "Turn the switch on and off. Don't forget the off." Such a serious line delivered so seriously shouldn't be funny, but it is!

Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol
"Brandt: The line's not long enough!
 * In " Ghost Protocol" At the the world's tallest building in Dubai, Benji returns to the room and sighs with relief: Changing all those room numbers was really hard! Meanwhile, the rest of the team is collapsed on the floor after Ethan almost plunged to his death, and Brandt and Jane almost died saving him. They are decidedly unsympathetic.
 * The reason he has to pull this death-defying stunt is because the rope he was using to climb down wasn't long enough. When he realizes this, he's about ten feet above the open window he needs to get through, and this conversation occurs:

Ethan: No shit!"

"SecDef: Now I've been ordered to take you to Washington where they will hang the Kremilin bombing on you and your team. Unless you were to escape after assaulting Brandt and me.
 * All of Simon Pegg's scenes.
 * "Next time I get to seduce the rich guy."
 * From Ethan's not-briefing.

Brandt: ಠ_ಠ"

"Benji: Why am I Pluto? It's not even a planet anymore!
 * The glove stuck on the Burj when Ethan had to take out his right glove because it was malfunctioning.
 * In Mumbai, the team is using planets as code names; Ethan is Jupiter, Jane is Venus, Brandt is Saturn, and Benji is Pluto. Benji doesn't like his code name, though:

Brandt: (sarcastically) I think Uranus is still available.

Benji: (more sarcastically) Heheheh, it's funny cuz you said anus!"