Ansem Retort/Funny

Ansem Retort is full of 'em. "Axel: KILL THE HERETIC!
 * In #101:

Marluxia: Axel, that's a priest!

Axel: DROWN HIM IN HOLY WATER!"

"Marluxia: I'm too sexy for my shirt. Too sexy for my shirt. So sexy that it hurts!
 * In #114, Marluxia manages to distract the mercenary  in a unique way:



"Namine: Zexion, we're supposed to be helping, not filming the fight.
 * In #169

Zexion: Well &$@! that."

"Namine:Ummm, what is this white stuff?
 * In #288, Sora tries to make a sexual inneudo while holding a pair of coconuts. Red XIII was not amused, so he knocked Sora over, causing one of the coconuts to break on the ground. When Namine walks in and asks what's the mess on the ground is, Sora explains it as plainly as possible:

Sora:It came out of my nuts.

Namine:I'm...I'm going to burn my eyes out now."

"Announcer: I don't want to interrupt, but I'd like to remind everyone that all of tonight's proceeds goes towards Hurricane Katrina victims.
 * In #313 when Riku and Namine are performing "Rock You Like a Hurricane."

Namine: Oh...ooh we're bad...people."

"Axel: "I AM THE WORLD'S DEADLIEST HOOD ORNAMENT! PIDGEONS, CRAP ON ME AT YOUR OWN DEMISE!""
 * #410

"Zexion: "No! I am offended by the insensitivity of this breakfast! FUCK YOU, RACIST PANCAKE!!""
 * #460 has a Large Body complaining about the "anti-fat society"... followed by Xemnas coming out of nowhere and killing it with his laser blades. See.
 * #510

"Zexion: We've cleared out first class. You ready to list your demands?
 * The time Axel and Zexion act like terrorists and hijack a plane. They then decide to list their demands to the governor and his director of cabinet: Zexion and Axel.

Axel: Damn skippy! * Over the phone* Mr. Governor, I've taken 65 plane passengers hostage.

Zexion: * Over the phone, while standing right next to Axel* I will not negotiate with terrorists!

Axel: I guess I'll have to convince you we mean business-- Psst, Zex, go kill a hostage.

Zexion: * Covered in blood* Hmm, so you're willing to kill hostages. Let me talk with my cabinet. Axel, a terrorist is holding a plane hostage.

Axel: I say you give in to all of his demands.

Zexion: * Over the phone* I'm willing to negotiate.

Axel: The time for negotiations has long since ended!"

"Axel: Yo Marluxia, we're inventing time travel!
 * Time Travel Binge 2010

Marluxia: Looks like you're just drinking.

Zexion: Exactly! And we need you to drink the gay drinks.

Axel: Cause you're gay.

Marluxia: So you want me to drink appletinis until we go back in time?

Axel: Yes!"

"Kairi: I don't know what happened. I was just telling him about how Cloud and Squall were secret lovers who met in a cross-dimensional portal, and then he fell over and foamed at the mouth.
 * Comic 43

Namine:That'll do, fangirl. That'll do."

"Axel: Next, we want a daily yak sacrificed to the German Moon God.
 * Negotiations for Season 4.

Ansem: Tell you what, we'll keep more bacon stocked in the fridge.

Axel: Deal."

"Sora: Look at me! I'm the guy with a face! Woogety-woogety-woo!"
 * This insult...backfire?
 * I just got Rick-Rolled by Jesus!
 * TVTropes was actually right about something!
 * "Man, that was awesome. Now to go burn the courthouse!"
 * Strip 659 has Sora using  as a mask.


 * For extra laughs, imagine his saying that line with Raocow's voice.