I'm Sorry, I'll Read That Again/Funny

"John: Beat the eggs, whip the cream, and strangle the butter."
 * Many of the puns could amount to this, but here's one of this troper's favorites:

"Cinderella: There's so much to do -- darn the socks, stuff the turkey, bugger the ironing..."
 * Also worth mentioning is the Black Cinderella 2 Goes East variation.