The Red Green Show/Funny

"Red: Your wife's side of the family eating.
 * Most installments of "The Possum Lodge Word Game", but one in particular stands out. The word is "Wolves", and the contestant is Dalton. Every clue Red comes up with gets the same answer: "My wife's side of the family." Finally, Red catches on:

Dalton: Wolves!"

"Oh, a horse with a horn's called a unicorn
 * On one episode, Red says that he wants to take up astronomy. Harold turns to the audience and says, "Well, he's always been good at staring off into space."
 * On one episode, the Possum Lodge trades places with a community in Iowa. Turns out all of the Iowans are Expys of the Possum Lodge members. Cue Red meeting expys of Dalton, Winston and Mike... then himself, prompting a little bit of anger.
 * In one "Possum Lodge Word Game", Red repeatedly tries to get Dougie to guess "Canada". After giving up in frustration, he holds up the card and says the word. Dougie says, "Oh, that's still a country?"
 * Some of Red's campfire songs. One example:

A horse with stripes is called a zebra

A horse with wings is called a pegasus

And a horse with a broken leg is called glue"

"Oh, the mountain is high and the valley is low
 * And another:

It's the laws of nature that make it so

If the valley is high and the mountain is low

You're either upside down or drunk or both."

"Red: Did you ever have a dream that you were falling?
 * And a third:

Well, chances are you're not really falling

Unless you fell asleep skydiving

And that's not really recommended

Harold: If you read the instructions, you'd know that."

"Red: Let's say your wife has a fancy dinner planned—
 * In one episode, Red and Dalton both wrench their backs and go to a masseuse, who makes them both feel much better. Mike Hamar also goes there just because. At the end of the episode, Red and Dalton both discover that the masseuse is, they are both squicked, but Mike seems fine. Instead of doing his usual sign-off, Red tells his wife that he'll go home to bathe in boiling bleach, and adds, "And to the rest of you... sorry you watched!"
 * In the movie, when everyone rises at the courthouse, Edgar folds his arms over himself and starts to say "Quando omni flunkus moritati" before the others cut him off.
 * Another Red-Dalton exchange from the Word Game:

Dalton: KFC!"

"Red: Five fingers.
 * From the same Word Game (the answer is "HAND"):

Dalton: Five angry drivers!"

"Red: Whose project exploded?
 * When Red and Harold return from the local science fair, completely blackened and singed down one side of their bodies.

Harold: You mean the first time?"