The Road to El Dorado/Funny

"Miguel and Tulio are stranded in the ocean on a rowboat with Cortez's horse
 * Several. To name just one:

Miguel: Did you ever imagine it would end like this?

Tulio: The horse is a surprise."

"Tulio: I will give you the honor of a quick and painless death- *pulls a tiny dagger from a guard* But not with that. *switches it for a rapier* I prefer to fight fairly!
 * While sitting in the rowboat, a seagull dies on one of their oars. When the starving duo reach for it, a shark pops up and steals it with a huge crunch, and they are just frozen at the unfairness of it all. Hilarious.
 * Any of the "duel" scenes:

Miguel: Oh, you fight like my sister!

Tulio: I... fought your sister - that's a compliment!"

"Miguel: You said it yourself it was possible, and it is! It really is! The map to EL DORADO!
 * Or when Miguel realizes that some landmarks on the island match up with the map they won/stole:

Tulio: ...You drank the seawater, didn't you?"

"Tulio: The little voice? Remember the little voice? Just for a second imagine that you have one. What would it be saying about Chel?
 * "You kept the map, but you couldn't grab a little more food?!"
 * Tulio tries to get Miguel to stay away from Chel:

Miguel: ....Mmmmmrrr..."

""I'm Okay!"
 * An El Dorado warrior gets mauled, chewed on, and finally thrown to the ground by the jaguar statue:

[The jaguar steps on him]

(muffled) "I'm still okay!""

"Tulio: What's happening?!
 * Miguel and Tulio's first test as gods in El Dorado, involving the conveniently erupting volcano.

Miguel: (deadpan) We are both in barrels, that is the extent of my knowledge."

"Miguel: Alright - Cuba!"
 * When they're about to leap into those barrels, one of our heroes bets the other they won't make it. When they do, there's a cheerful "you lose!" from inside one barrel, and a pair of coins are flipped out of the other into the first as the loser promptly pays up.
 * After the duo is found and dragged before Cortez, he coolly informs them that they will be flogged, locked up and brought along to Cuba, where they will be flogged again and used as slave labor for the rest of their lives.

"Tulio: (snatches the dice) Hey, how'd you get those?
 * Upon seeing the giant stone jaguar, Miguel and Tulio perform the best girly scream ever in unison.
 * The crown jewel of the film is after Chel convinces the boys to let her in on the con and reveals that she swiped Tulio's loaded dice.

Miguel: (behind him with a suspicious look) Where was she keeping them?"

"Chel: (sits there pleasantly watching them undress)
 * Immediately afterward, Chel gives them their ceremonial clothes to change into. And then doesn't leave when they start undressing.

Tulio: (raises eyebrow) Uh, do you mind?

Chel: (completely honest) No. Oh! Oh. Sorry. (starts to back out of the room, but keeps staring and eventually closes the curtain after thoroughly checking them out) Bye."

"Tulio: The stars are not in position for this tribute!
 * Their excuse for not sacrificing an innocent man to Shebulba.

Miguel: (behind him, dragging the helpless man to safety) Stars. Can't do it. (disappears for a Beat and then sticks his head back in the frame) Not today."


 * "Excuse me, I have to go gloat over my gold."
 * The entire "lay low" sequence.