Eddie Izzard/Funny

"So of course, vampires can be driven away with a cross, so we're all wondering: do fingers work? "I am going to suck your blood!!!!" "Nooo, fingers.""
 * YOU. Cake or death?
 * Uh, cake please.
 * Uh, cake for me too please!
 * We're gonna run out of cake at this rate!
 * Uh, death please--no, cake! CAKE! Sorry...
 * You said death first! Aaah, death first!
 * Well, I meant "cake"!
 * ...oh, alright. You're lucky I'm [Church of] England..."
 * I'll have the chicken then please.
 * Taste of humans!
 * Eh, I asked for the vegetarian.
 * Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?
 * COVERED IN BEEEEES!!
 * The Death Star cantine skit.
 * "That's Jeff Vader that is."
 * The bit on Risk, as Hitler would have known not to invade Russia if he'd ever played it. "Get all the purples, get everyone on Papua New Guinea, and then just build up, build up, build up."
 * I was dead at the time! I... I was on the moon.
 * With Steve.
 * "I haven't even accused you of anything yet!"
 * Basically all of his "horror movies" bit. Watch it here.
 * Especially:

"Get the tanks out, get the -- we haven't got any tanks, then get that ice cream van out there. Get that out there... [points] Kill! Oh, fuck it -- [mimes making and throwing ice cream cones] ...fuck off... everything! Just throw everything at them! Just... that's not... harder! Orange fruities -- Zooms! Throw the Zooms! Fuck off, you bastards... pots and pans, get pots -- just throw the pots and pans at them!"
 * Room with a View of HELL! Staircase of SATAN! Pond of DEATH."
 * "Would you like to come in for coffee?", that then gets repeated in French and then it's just hilarious.
 * [sing-song] If you've never seen an elephant ski then you've never been on acid.
 * Cool, cool, hip and groovy, looking like a dickhead...
 * The mentions of Scrabble and jam.
 * The opening of the Dress to Kill DVD, telling of how the people on the tram are prisoners on their way to Alcatraz.
 * His imitation of the British fighting World War II before the Americans came along. Like so:


 * His bit on Wikipedia, from his Stripped tour. "Run by Mr. and Mrs. Wikipedia... who live in a toilet somewhere, I think, they have no money..."