Watchmen (comics)/Funny

Comic book
"Rorschach: Why are so few of us left active, healthy, and without personality disorders?"
 * Hypocritical Humor from Rorschach.

"Vendor: I see the world didn't end yesterday.
 * "The End Is Nigh" Guy  asking the newsseller that he won't forget his copy of the New Frontier. Newsseller assures him he won't, and he walks away. Newsseller takes a drink, and guy reappears behind the seller, taps him on the shoulder, wanting a promise out of the seller. Cue Spit Take.
 * To clarify, the guy (one of those "end-of-the-world" sandwichboard guys) was explaining how the world was doomed and going to end today. He then made the newsseller promise not to forget to bring him tomorrow's copy of the magazine!
 * That night is when Dr. Manhattan abandons Earth, robbing the US of its best deterrent against a Soviet nuclear strike. So when the street prophet shows up the next day:

Prophet: Are you sure?"

"Little Boy: Mom? That guy in the Space Rocket, is that Jesus?
 * Also in chapter 3, when we see Daniel getting new locks installed because Rorschach broke them during his previous visit. The guy installing the locks laughs as Daniel explains about how they were broken by his 'friend'. The real kick is when Rorschach visits again at the end of the chapter, saying "By the way, you need a stronger lock. That new one broke after one shove."
 * It gets funnier when you realize the lock company is called "Gordian Knot"...there is some very clever writing going on, yes indeed.
 * There's something for everyone in chapter 7, which is about Dan and Laurie. There's the first page, where Laurie is in the owlship, and, looking for a dash lighter, she presses the button that turns on the owlship's flamethrower. Then there's Finally, there's the scene where Nite Owl and Silk Spectre rescue the citizens from the burning building, which contains these two gems:

and...

Man: Are you with the fire department?

Silk Spectre: Listen, I'm Smokey The Bear's secret mistress. Now will you please just move or throw yourself over the side or something?"

"Dan: ...public address system and screechers functioning, air-to-air missiles functioning, fog-screens funct...
 * Another example from this chapter, after Laurie has accidentally set of the flamethrower, Dan is going through the ship's systems.

Laurie: Air-to-Air missiles?

Dan: Sure. Button there. Next to the flame thrower.

Laurie: That's it! That does it! No more smoking."

"Laurie: Oh shit. I'm on Mars."
 * Maybe it's because I have an incredibly dark, surreal sense of humor, I cracked up at the mention of Rorschach dropping someone down an elevator shaft. This might be troubling, to be honest, as I was about 13-14 at the time.
 * Maybe. But then again, it makes Laurie and Dan crack up even as they recognize that they shoudln't find it funny.
 * From the start of Chapter 9:

"Moloch: Can I get out of the fridge now?
 * This line can slip by you, as it's part of a long dialogue, but it's a good laugh.

Rorschach: No."

"Rorschach's Note: BEHIND YOU."
 * On that vein, Moloch is first ambushed by Rorscach who was hiding inside of his fridge. The next time Moloch opens his fridge, he does so nervously, holding a gun, only to find a single note.

"Doctor Manhattan: Laurie? What is...? Oh. Of course. Please forgive me. Sometimes these things slip my mind.
 * Doctor Manhattan forgetting the small matter of oxygen when he teleports Laurie to Mars.


 * Doctor Manhattan creates an air-pocket*

Laurie: *gasping* Oh Jesus! Jesus! Jon, you stupid bastard!"

"Rorschach: Huhn. Moloch better suspect than previously apparent. Pity deceased... unless plot from beyond grave, pre-arranged...? No, too fantastic. Egyptian decor coloring logic..."
 * This troper found the brief scene in chapter 10 in which Daniel is trying to hack into  computer while Rorschach rambles on and on in the background absolutely hilarious, especially this line:

Movie
"Song: And even though it all went wrong, I'll stand before the lord of song, with nothing in my heart but Hallelujah.
 * The film actually manages to make the second sex scene more ridiculous. The music is Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen, and the sequence follows thus:

Laurie: *Orgasms and hits the flamethrower button*

Beat

Song: HALLELUJAH!"


 * Also, Rorschach snapping off tall, short, and fat jokes to the prisoners as they stand outside his cell, his deadpan expression never cracking once.
 * "Have to visit Men's Room." "Oh for Christ's sake!" What's going on in there is probably horrifying, but Laurie and Dan's reactions are priceless.
 * The look Laurie and Dan exchange after being "trapped" in the alley by the street gang.