Deadpan Snarker/Fan Fics

"Sarakshi: Your shirt smells of grass.
 * Chaos and Terriermon from the Tamers Forever Series
 * And, for that matter, Chaos and Terriermon from Dimensions. No relation. Plus Impmon.
 * Sarakshi, Marjani and Tora from Seduction. Will often engage in Snark-to-Snark Combats. Some examples:

Marjani: That is a highly flattering compliment, Sarakshi. I don't know how I've survived so far without it."

"Tora: Who do you think Hoseki's representatives would believe? One of the maids from a café that has done a grand event for the first time, or the well-mannered and chivalrous Igarashi heir?

Sarakshi: Well-mannered. Chivalrous. Excuse me while I gag, Igarashi.

Tora: I'm sure something as unattractive as that would be right up your street."

"John: "Why're you so bloody calm?"
 * Matt, Arthur, and Chris from Part Right Half Wrong a Third Crazy, although given that it's pretty much a World of Snark, practically everyone is this at some point.
 * Bronzong of the Total Pokémon Island series. Moreso in Total Pokémon World Tour.
 * Nasira in Keepers of the Elements is the most notable snarker in the whole story.
 * The four in With Strings Attached. Some examples:

George: "Because I'm a better person than you.”"

"The Hunter: “I warn you, children, I have little patience for fools.”

Ringo: “If you were a doctor, would you have little fools for patients?”"

"Matt: Lin, I told you I got this worked out, didn't I? We're going out my bedroom window.
 * While it's generally common for fans to portray Matt this way in most Death Note fanfics, Xanatos decided to have a field day with it. Made even better by the fact that Linda generally doesn't get it right away.

Linda: Out there? Um...are you sure?

Matt: No, actually there's an underground network of tunnels running through a doorway in the back of my closet."

"Link (after Samba advises him to use explosives to beat a beamos): But we're knee-deep in goron territory and have yet to find a bomb. Notice that little cosmic joke yet?"
 * L also fits this trope, and he and Matt even engage in Snark to Snark Combat.
 * Any time someone who's a snarker in real life, they'll usually turn the cast into snarkers, whether intentional or not.
 * The eponymous Midnight Green.
 * In The Legend of Zelda: Rings of Dualty, protagonists Link and Samba get their moments, as do various NPCs. Most humor comes from Lampshade Hanging, though.

"The blonde dropped her jaw. "Well, that was, like, really rude," she commented.

"Yeah, sneaking past all the OTHER guards instead of going and asking the FIRST one's pretty rude," the man scoffed."

"Danny Dingo: So you just went and baked cookies? Shifty, you're a dingo for crying out loud!
 * In The Aventures Of Blinky Bill fanfic I'll Stand By You and it's sequel Scars Are Forever, Shifty Dingo is turned into a Deadpan Snarker towards Marcia, Danny Dingo, Blinky and Flap.

Shifty Dingo: Well, if it makes you feel better, I wore a pink apron with butterflies on it while I baked them."

"Flap: Since when does Greenpatch have a Burger King and how did it get here?

Shifty Dingo: Deforestation."

"Narrator: Gimli, having reached the Horn, blew on it, causing one massive, and vaguely flatulent sound to echo over the deep.
 * Everyone in The End Is Near but especially Light with his imaginary "advice column."
 * Harry becomes (or at least, becomes more obviously so) in The Wizard In The Shadows getting steadily snarkier as time goes on. The narration owes a lot to the Discworld style of narration as well.

Harry: *at Helm's Deep* It looks Galadriel has sent crack squad of decorators. She must have heard about the poor aesthetics of the fortress and decided it must be cleaned up as soon as possible.

Harry: *just after Gandalf free's Theoden from Saruman* Look upon your kingdom once more. I hear it’s very nice this time of year."

"Sonic: (spotting the doors out of the Clock Tower) Hey, is that the way out?
 * Pretty much anyone who's not an idiot or unobservant in Calvin and Hobbes The Series.
 * Tatl Beryllia in The Blue Blur of Termina, especially with Sonic:

Tatl: You see any other doors, kid? Let's go already!"

"Misha: Need a little help there, Shicchan?
 * Sho in How I Became Yours
 * In the Katawa Shoujo fanfic, From Shizune's Perspective, Shizune may be one in canon, but Misha becomes one in here, as the author suggests that she would act that way in sign language-only conversations. At one point, Shizune becomes suspicious because Misha is not snarking at her.

Shizune: Eat me.

Misha: No thanks, I already told you I don't go that way. .

Shizune: Your loss. Too late for you anyway; I'm over my big girl phase. (Misha laughs)"


 * Matt, Light, and L in A Cure for Love in a very Britcom way.
 * Shirou in The Hill of Swords, so very much.
 * Firefly in Ace Combat: The Equestrian War.
 * Elite Four Boss and Jack Noir in Dave Stdider Pokémon Traner.