Ambrose Bierce/YMMV

Bierce's life

 * Woolseyism: or so he claims, for the Dies Irae. Bierce points out that since the hymn is about a self-proclaimed sinner who still wishes to escape damnation, it has to be be laden with an irony that all other translators missed (including the original Latin author). His "translation" must be seen to be believed.