Celtic Mythology/Characters

Celtic Mythology has Loads and Loads of Characters. These are the most famous ones.

Cu Chulainn
""Cuchulainn was an unstoppable warrior hero in Irish legend who was renowned throughout the British Isles for his unmatched prowess in combat, his superhuman deeds, his Justin Timberlake-like good looks and his infamous "Warp Spasm" - a violent bloodthirsty berserker rage which caused his face to contort into hideous positions, made his hair to stand up on end, and prompted one of his eyes to bulge out of his head." (From his Badass of the Week page.)"

"And the snow melted for thirty feet all around him, because of the intensity of the warrior's heat and the warmth of Cu Chulainn's body. And the gilla remained a good distance from him for he could not endure to remain near him because of the might of his rage and the warrior's fury and the heat of his body."
 * The Ace: Boy, if there ever was one...
 * Angst Coma: "The Wasting Sickness of Cu Chulainn" is an entire story about his year-long illness.
 * Badass: While most certainly not the only one, he's definitely the most famous one,
 * Berserk Button: Do not threaten the province of Ulster if you want to live. You'll get a Gae Bolg to the torso.
 * Blood Knight: The type that lives for dueling, not bloodbaths. In a twist, he always challenges people to duels because that's the surest way to prevent bloodbaths (Cu Chulainn being The Chosen One and all.)
 * Burning with Anger: Cu Chulainn was hot-tempered in a very literal sense.


 * The Chosen One (Because Destiny Says So)
 * Divine Parentage: He's the son of Lugh the Long-Handed, which is responsible for a lot of his badassery. The rest is being The Chosen One.
 * Does Not Know His Own Strength: One of his earlier trysts went a bit awry when he accidentally broke a woman's fingers while having sex with her. This did not end well. He also had a bit of trouble taking up arms due to the fact that he shattered just about every spear, sword, or shield Conchobar gave him, as well as seventeen chariots.
 * Engagement Challenge: For Emer, whom he ends up Happily Married to.
 * Full Potential Upgrade: Not just his weapon, but his chariot, too.
 * Jumped At the Call
 * Just a Kid: It wasn't uncommon for Cu Chulainn to be underestimated because of his age
 * Genius Bruiser: Cu Chulainn may be incredibly strong and powerful and an amazingly skilled warrior, but he's also extremely intelligent and cunning, and in fact, judging by his love life, it would seem that he actually values intelligence and good wits far more than he does good looks or skill at combat.
 * Hot-Blooded
 * Kid Hero: Cu Chulainn's exploits start from as early as age five, and his most famous one (the Tain) occurred when he was only seventeen.
 * Ladykiller in Love: Cú Chulainn sleeps with dozens of women and yet was Happily Married to Emer. This is one of the very few mythologies that distinguish his active libido from his genuine love for Emer.
 * This is also Played With--Emer is perfectly fine with it because she doesn't feel threatened at all by the other women and knows that it's purely sex, unlike Ms. Hollywood Nerd.
 * Long-Haired Pretty Boy
 * Lovecraftian Superpower: The warp spasm.
 * Mangst: He accidentally killed his only son.
 * Multicolored Hair: Described as having hair that starts blond at the ends, red in the middle, and brown at the roots.
 * One-Man Army: The Tain Bo Cuailgne is less Connacht vs. Ulster and more Connacht vs. one incredibly badass teenager.
 * Only Known by Their Nickname Although the real name is Setanta while Cu Chulainn means "The hound of Chulainn" (a title he got after killing Chulainn's hound and taking its place)
 * Pretty Boy: At least when he's not in Warp Spasm mode.
 * Really Gets Around
 * Rule of Seven: Seven fingers on each hand, seven toes on each foot, and seven jeweled pupils in each eye.
 * Secret Test of Character: He gives one to Emer by testing her wits with riddles, and she passes with flying colors by testing him with her own riddles. This is primarily what he saw in her.
 * So Beautiful It's a Curse: Cu Chulainn is listed in "The Courting of Emer" as having exactly three faults: "that he was too young and smooth-faced, so that young men who did not know him would be laughing at him, that he was too daring, and that he was too beautiful." Of course, this was less of a problem for him than it was for just about every other man in Ulster, who unanimously decided they needed to get him hitched before he ended up bedding half the populace. It didn't work.
 * Superpowered Alter Id: The Warp Spasm.
 * Technicolor Eyes: Seven jeweled pupils in each eye
 * Too Cool to Live: Invoked - Cu Chulainn was prophetized to be incredibly accomplished, but also very short-lived.
 * Training From Hell: With Scathach, on Emer's request.
 * Warrior Poet
 * Wise Beyond Their Years
 * Younger Than They Look: According to the Tain, the Wooing of Emer (in which Cu Chullain is clearly a young man) apparently happened when he was six.

Emer
The beautiful and intelligent daughter of King Forgal, and Cuchulainn's wife. She may not be an Action Girl, but she is definitely a character in her own right. "Emer: You think you're the only one who can make up shit on the spot, little boy? Bring It.
 * Betty and Veronica: Cuchulainn has to choose between Emer (Betty), his wife of many years, and Fand (Veronica), a fairy woman he's known for about a week. Due to a combination of Late Character Syndrome and Emer being shown as a spirited and interesting person in her own right, Fand comes off as a Relationship Sue.
 * Deadpan Snarker: When Cu Chulainn bragged that he was strong enough to defend against a hundred men, she called him a little boy play-fighting with his friends.
 * Embarrassing Nickname: Emer calls Ireland's Most Badass Warrior "little hound." They are always conveniently alone or out of everyone's earshot when she does it.
 * Engaging Conversation: Combined with a Secret Test of Character, since Cuchulainn deliberately invoked it.

[Insert a conversation composed entirely of riddles that nobody short of a historian-poet-linguist can understand.]

Cuchulainn: Holy fuck, marry me.


 * Happily Married"

"Cuchulainn: Fair is this plain, the plain of the noble yoke.
 * Hollywood Nerd: Frequently referred to as the most beautiful and smartest woman in Ireland.
 * Male Gaze: There's a paragraph of Cu Chulainn complimenting her looks. By saying she's got really nice tracts of land. Seriously:

Cuchulainn, to Laeg: When I said, "Fair is this plain, the plain of the noble yoke," it was not the plain of Bray that I praised then, but the shape of the maiden."


 * My Girl Is Not a Slut
 * Rebellious Princess: One of the oldest examples, and proving that you don't need to be an Action Girl to be awesome.

Aoife
A deadly warrior, whose rival Scathach gave Cu Chulainn his Training From Hell. One of Cu Chulainn's flings, and the only one he got pregnant. After she gave birth to a boy called Connla and taught him everything she knew, she got mightily pissed when she found out Cu Chulainn had been married to Emer for years. Hence, she sent Connla to his death by making him swear to challenge every man he came across, and never give his name. After he inevitably challenged Cu Chulainn to a battle, he was fatally wounded and as he lay dying, Cu Chulainn noticed that the ring on the boy's finger was the one he'd given to Aoife right before he left... Yeah, that didn't make Aoife very popular.
 * Dark Action Girl: For all she's a bitch, she is pretty badass.
 * Hot Amazon
 * Shmuck Bait: She knew even Connla was no match for Cu Chulainn, being around ten years old.

Taliesin
A Welsh figure, he was born a mortal boy named Gwion Bach. The goddess Cerridwen chose him to stir a potion containing all the knowledge in the world, and when the potion started bubbling, a few drops of the potion landed on his finger and he instinctively stuck it in his mouth, accidentally gaining the potion's knowledge and pissing off Cerridwen when she found out. He tried to flee from her by turning into various animals, then into grain of wheat amidst more wheat. Cerridwen then turned herself into a hen and ate him. Eventually she realized she was pregnant, planned to kill the baby when he was born, but in the end couldn't bring herself to because he was so beautiful. So she put him in a basket and sent him down the river, where a poor couple found him and named him "Taliesin." He became the greatest bard in the world.
 * Awesome McCoolname or Fail O'Suckyname (depending on how you look at it): Taliesin can be translated as roughly 'shiny eyebrows'. See below trope.
 * Bishonen: His name Taliesin means "shining brow." And, you know, being so beautiful that Cerridwen instantly stopped being mad at him.
 * Canon Welding: Occasionally he's mentioned in Arthurian mythology as Arthur's bard.
 * Magic Music
 * No Pronunciation Guide: 'Tal-yes-seen' or 'Tally-essin'.
 * The Seer
 * The Smart Guy

Math ap Mathonwy
One of the many protagonists of the branches of the Mabinogion and king of Gwynedd. For no logically explained reason he had to rest his feet on a virgin's lap 24/7 or else he'd die. Most remembered for his eccentricity and many cruel and unusual acts.
 * Badass Family: Great uncle of another famous folk hero, Lleu Llaw Gyffes.
 * Baleful Polymorph: His magic of choice.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: While he is away fighting a phony war engineered by his nephews Gilfaethwy and Gwydion - the war in which Pryderi is slain - Gwydion himself sneaks into Math's stronghold and rapes his foot-holder maiden, Goewin. In punishment, Math transforms the brothers into a different animal every year, one male and one female, until they bear three offspring together.
 * Another one comes later when he has to find a new virgin foot-holder, and Gwidion (not knowing when to cut his losses) volunteers his notably promiscuous sister Arianhhod in an attempt to assassinate his uncle yet again. Math orders all the candidates to step over his staff, and when Arianhhod does she spontaneously becomes pregnant and comes to term with twins in a matter of three seconds due to her impurity. Her second son Lleu later becomes a more important character and star of his own story though.
 * Curse Escape Clause: Has to sit on a virgin's lap 24/7, except when his kingdom is at war.
 * Easily Forgiven: Lets his evil nephews back into the court, no questions asked, as soon as they're finished with their Cool and Unusual Punishment. They go on to try and kill him again, unsurprisingly.
 * I Am X, Son of Y: The name means literally Mathonwy son of Mathonwy, with Math as a nickname. Also doubles as Alliterative Name.
 * Idiot Hero
 * Leaning on the Furniture: His perpetual couch slouch of awesome. Well.. does it count if the furniture is another person?
 * No Pronunciation Guide: Even beyond the usual Celtic standards! The first Math is pronounced 'math'. Mathonwy is pronounced 'may-hon-whee'. Ap may also be ab or fab.
 * Royals Who Actually Do Something: Led his army into battle and finished the war against Dyfed by killing Pryderi in single combat. Did we mention he's a White Mage?
 * Squishy Wizard: Averted to hell and back, see Royals Who Actually Do Something.
 * Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Noone ever comments on the fact he's lying on a lady's lap and being carried around by retainers. You've got to assume his men just got used to it after a while.
 * Yank the Dog's Chain: Adopted Arianhhod's first son and named him Dylan, but at his baptism he turned into a fish, immediately jumped into the ocean and swam away. Then a later story tells us Dylan was killed by his uncle Gorfannon while fishing.

Fionn mac Cumhaill
An Irish hero with one of the greatest names ever - it is usually anglicised as Finn McCool - Fionn was the leader of the Fianna, a band of legendary warriors. He's most famous for (accidentally) gaining the wisdom of the Salmon of Knowledge when he burnt his thumb while he was cooking the thing for his master, meaning whenever he wanted to access that wisdom all he to do was suck his thumb.
 * Awesome McCoolname
 * Expy: Bizzare example. Look at his description versus Taliesin above and swap out 'Salmon of Knowledge' for 'Potion of Knowledge'. You'd think thumb based origin stories wouldn't be so common. Of course due to the age of the material there's no way to tell is Finn is Taliesin's Irish counterpart or Taliesin Finn's Welsh one..
 * King in the Mountain: Supposedly sleeping a cave beneath Dublin to awaken defend Ireland in the hour of her greatest need.
 * Warrior Poet: Yet another one.

King Arthur
See here.

Lugh the Long-Handed
The Ace of the gods, associated with the sun, fertility, and liberating Ireland from the monster Balor. Not much is known past that, but he did have a fling with his hot midwife when she helped his wife give birth safely--the midwife in turn had Cuchulainn, Ireland's greatest hero, and the rest is (alleged) history. He is sometimes considered to be the Morrigan's husband, due to both deities being powerful warriors associated with, well, fertility''.
 * The Ace: Of course. He got into the Tuatha de Danaan solely because while they had masters of all fields, none were a master in all fields like him.
 * Bishonen: Yet again. The Celts love these.
 * Combo-Platter Powers: Comes with the territory of being an ace.
 * Handsome Lech
 * Light Is Good: God of the sun, light in general, and fertility. Getting any "evil" vibes from that?
 * Really Gets Around: And nobody minds.
 * Warrior Poet: Literally a warrior and a poet. The Irish love the trope's version as well.
 * What Does He See In Her? He's (possibly) married to the Morrígan, of all people. Then again, they have a couple of things in common...

The Morrígan
The most infamous Celtic goddess, her name means "great/phantom queen." Due to the fragmented nature of Celtic mythology, she is associated with several related figures--the Washer At the Ford (a harbinger of death who washed the clothes of the soon-to-be-dead in the river), Macha (either a goddess or one of The Fair Folk, forced to run a race while pregnant and ended up giving birth after winning), and Badb, another warrior-goddess. Nobody's really sure of anything with her, aside from the facts that 1) she is a war-goddess, and 2) nobody's sure of anything with her. Tellingly, she is one of the few deities who wasn't Brought Down to Normal and didn't get her Serial Numbers Filed Off.
 * Blood Knight: Unusual in that she's a bloodthirsty female deity, and uses her wits to cause bloodbaths instead of solve them. She draws a marked parallel with Kali in that respect.
 * The Chessmaster: If you want to completely ruin someone (even if they don't deserve it), you've got to be smart.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: Modern artists portray her dressed in black with black hair, when in the actual myths her hair and clothes were frequently red--red was the ancient Celtic color of death. The former isn't wrong, though, since it's more of a Palette Swap than an actual mistake.
 * Cryptic Conversation: Many unfortunates piss her off because they can't understand what the hell she's saying.
 * Dark Action Girl: Doesn't get much darker and action-y than her.
 * Dark Is Not Evil: For all that she makes people wet themselves, she is still Chaotic Good, and she will generously reward people who pass her tests.
 * Flanderization: For some reason, Goths view her as a misunderstood and regal persona rather than the Badass, ill-tempered, insanely vengeful figure she is in myth.
 * God Save Us From the Queen: On one hand, she's a Hot Amazon who has no problem trading sex for little things like lifelong glory and prosperity. On the other hand, if you piss her off she will fuck your shit up. She won't just kill you--first she'll ruin everything you stand for as you watch helplessly (but not quite enough to send you over the Despair Event Horizon), and then she'll make absolutely sure your death is long, agonizing, and pointless.
 * The High Queen: On a good day.
 * Hot Amazon: Of course.
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: When someone's name literally means "phantom queen," you'd best tread carefully around her.
 * Ravens and Crows: Her sacred birds. She could also turn into one.
 * Really Gets Around: Her fertility aspect is overshadowed in modern times by her violent tendencies, but very obvious in the myths.
 * Sadly Mythtaken: Some people compare her to Athena, when she's the exact opposite--Athena was a war goddess who dealt more with strategy, while the Morrigan positively loves carnage.
 * Spell My Name with an "S": Even worse than usual in Celtic myth. She's either the Morrígan/Mórrígan/Morríghan/Morrigu, or Mor-Ríoghain. All of them are technically correct, since they mean "phantom/great queen".
 * Spell My Name with a "The": The Morrígan. Understandably, most people drop the "the" since it gets awkward after a while.
 * Things That Go Bump in the Night: She announced her presence by screaming war-cries to wake everyone up. Whoever had the balls to check would be rewarded if they helped her out, or punished if they pissed her off.
 * Trauma Conga Line: One of her specialties, and the main reason she's so pants-wettingly feared.
 * Unusual Euphemism: Characters often make reference to "the Morrígan's harvest" after a battle--that being the eyes, souls, or heads of the dead. After a battle, everyone still alive would clear the hell out to ensure that the Morrígan's "harvest" went peacefully.
 * Also, there is the phrase "Garden of Morrigan," or some variation, in referrence to how battlefields tend to become overgrown with plantlife due to all that fertilizer left behind. Which is also beleived to be the source of her association with fertility.

The Dagda
The father-figure of the Tuatha de Danaan. Another deity with a title for a name, "the Dagda" means "the good god" when literally translated. He was one of the first High Kings of Ireland, the god of music and poetry, and known for a magic cauldron that could feed any number of people without a problem.
 * Acrofatic
 * Balloon Belly
 * Big Eater: If you have a cauldron that can feed hundreds of people, you probably like eating.
 * Big Fun: Basically like the Laughing Buddha Up to Eleven. Some religions like to make their father gods stoic, loving figures or chisled handsome beasts. We got the comical, singing, dancing Dirty Old Man with his ass hanging out of his trousers. And he is awesome for it.
 * The Big Guy
 * Boisterous Bruiser: Often portrayed as this.
 * Biggus Dickus: One of The Oldest Ones in the Book.
 * Magic Music: He was such a skilled musician that he could make people cry, cheer, and sometimes kill them from sheer awesome. Having a magic harp specifically for that purpose didn't hurt.
 * Really Gets Around: Noticing a theme? Notably, he slept with the Morrigan in exchange for her help in fighting the Fomorians.
 * In some retellings he slept with a Fomorian girl instead. With his large stature repeatedly commented upon. His stories tend to have a common theme of Fan Disservice..
 * Warrior Poet: Another one.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?: One of his stories basically consists of him one-upping the Fomoire when they dare him to eat a large amount of porridge.

(Saint?) Brigid
An immensely popular figure even today, she is one of the patron saints of Ireland and second only to St. Patrick (yes, that one). She presides over healing, poetry, and smithwork--some believe that she was originally a goddess who had her Serial Numbers Filed Off, as that fits the "triple goddess" concept. (And Christianity's general tendencies.) Another "coincidence" is that her festival day is February 1, the day of Imbolc (and Goddess!Brigid's sacred day) in the pagan communities. St. Brigid's Well is a well-known landmark for those who suffer chronic illness or injury. She is also associated with fire, and before Christianity set in there was a temple where her "sacred flame" was constantly tended to by priestesses/nuns.
 * The Chick
 * Combo-Platter Powers
 * Continuity Snarl: We know that Brigid is in charge of healing, poetry, and smiths. We don't know much else about her--or we don't know who knows much else about her, because everyone's arguing over who gets her in the first place.
 * The Heart: She was so beloved that the Christians adopted their own version of her instead of demonizing her like the rest of the Celtic pantheon.
 * Overshadowed by Awesome: Compared to other gods and especially the Morrigan, she gets rather little mention in myth.

Rhiannon
The fairy wife of King Pwyll in Welsh Mythology. He offered to marry her when she said she didn't like her other suitor, so she accepted. When her first son was born, he vanished mysteriously and the maids panicked, not only because their king's heir was gone but because they might be blamed for it. To save their asses, they killed a few puppies from a recent litter, smeared the blood on the unconscious Rhiannon's hands and mouth, and said she'd eaten her own son in a fit of madness. ...Yeah. This wasn't good for Rhiannon since she was still out of it from giving birth and wasn't sure if she hadn't done such a horrible thing, and everyone started howling for the evil fairy to be killed. Pwyll really wanted to believe Rhiannon but he was also responsible for, you know, ruling, so to compromise he said that she would have to carry visitors from the courtyard to his hall on her back for seven years. Luckily her son was actually alive, had been named Pryderi by his adopted parents, and in the commotion over him nobody had noticed that a newborn foal had also gone missing. Past that the different versions of the story get a little contradictory, but everything sorted out in the end. Except for Pwll getting killed in a battle, but Rhiannon eventually married Manawydan, another of the Fair Folk.
 * Brought Down to Normal: Both in-story (she's a sidhe woman who married a human) and meta, if you believe that she was once a horse-goddess with her Serial Numbers Filed Off.
 * Cool and Unusual Punishment: Carrying visitors from the courtyard to Pwll's hall for seven years.
 * Cool Horse: Rhiannon's mount when Pwyll met her. Rhiannon's punishment essentially forced her to become a Horse of a Different Color, and the vanished foal grew up with Pryderi and became his trusted mount. Some believe Rhiannon to be a goddess due to the recurring motif, even though there's no actual evidence in the Mabinogion.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Yep.
 * Good Is Dumb: Pwyll is an honorable, caring man, a just king, and a seasoned warrior... Who is rather lacking in sense.
 * Kick the Dog: She was the figurative dog who was kicked, and there were literal puppies that were killed to frame her.
 * Fantastic Racism: Definitely. Strangely enough, Pryderi doesn't get much trouble despite being her son.
 * Sincerest Form of Flattery: Some Renaissance Faires have banned the name "Rhiannon" because so many people have it already.