JMS Spider-Man/Funny

""What are the green bits?"
 * Loki and Spider-Man enjoying New York hot dogs together:

"Nobody knows...""

""Ask me again in that Queens accent how I know you're from around here.""
 * Leo Zelinksy, the super tailor, calling out Spider-Man as a street-level native.

""Thor... reads gardening magazines. And Modern Bride. I figure he's either a real romantic kind of guy, or his hammer leans a little to the left, if you know what I'm saying.""
 * Leo, again, describing the reading habits of superheroes that frequent his shop:

""Do these pants make my butt look fat?" "No, Morlun...""
 * Aunt May has several...
 * Starting a campaign to get more recognition for Spider-Man as a legit super-hero by writing to multiple publications and news shows, including personally telling J. Jonah Jameson she is canceling her Daily Bugle subscription after many years.
 * Silencing a foul-mouthed and obnoxious cell phone user in line at the bank by knocking his phone out of his hands, utterly destroying it, and quoting back at him it was a "freaking accident" and silently daring him to assault a smiling old lady in public.
 * When she replaced Jarvis in the kitchen to cook the Avengers' breakfast, Wolverine saw it and wasn't happy. In response to his complaints, May took the cigar from his mouth, put it into his glass of whiskey and said there's no smoking and no drinking before nine, leaving Marvel's biggest Badass completely speechless.
 * Morlun going clothes shopping. He likes looking sharp when he feeds off of superheroes.

"MJ: Tony?
 * While on a plane to find out more about Digger, a flight attendant flirts with Spidey, telling him he can leave the mask on. It then cuts to him having made a wall of webbig to keep her away from him, yet still demanding that she pass food through.
 * Forgot the issue, but one moment when Peter and his family are living in Stark Tower with the Avengers was kinda funny. Peter and MJ are just waking up, when Tony, using a speaker built into a model parrot, requests his presence. MJ, clad in only a bra and a thong and a little confused, has just one thing to ask. Its left to interpretation as to whether Tony was joking or not.

Tony: Yes MJ?

MJ: That parrot...Tell me its only a speaker, right? You can't, see us right?

Tony: The parrot is only a speaker, I can't see you. (Beat) Nice Tan by the way.

Tony: (as MJ walks away, using a discarded bra to cover the parrot's eyes) I'm joking, I swear! Hello? Is this thing on?"