The Darkness of My Heart



-sigh- Do I really have to do this?

-rifle click- JESUS CHRIST! ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!

Okey-dokey, The Darkness of my Heart is a... uh... delightful Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends fanfiction about Marie Bloody Ebony D'arkness, a goth vampire teenager who comes to work at a gothified Foster's. A Foster's where everyone is either gothic and depressed, a prep, or completely batshit insane. Yes, even happy-go-lucky Wilt and mature, level-headed Frankie have been reduced to whiny, suicidial "goffs" who self-harm, do drugs, and practice Satanism. Oh, and don't think they're the only canon characters who suffer this case of OOC, oh no no no, I just don't want to describe them all in fear that I'll start crying blood. And not in the "goffik bloody tearz" way.

The plot is rather basic, focusing on Marie while the canon characters take a back seat, unless they're sleeping with her. Marie is constantly painted as the brave hero, solving almost all the huge plot twists with her brilliant wit, intelligence, and "vampire powers" while the canon characters praise her and tell her how awesome she is.

So yeah, it's basically My Immortal: The Foster's Edition. However, it actually manages to make less sense than it's predecessor.

Can be found here and on her Deviant ART account here (with the added bonus of her "art"). Read at your own risk. A MST is here. Although it's certainly not as renowned as other (possible) trollfics, it's style and subject can safely be compared to fics such as My Immortal (obviously), Twila the Girl Who Waz In Luv With A Vampyre, and Forbiden Fruit the Tempation of Edward Cullen

""What the fucking fuck fuck!"
 * Abusive Parents: Marie's father apparently beat and raped her.
 * Alpha Bitch: Marie and Berry.
 * Anti-Hero: Marie is a hardcore Satanist, hates and mistreats anyone she deems to be a prep or poser, and is a generally unpleasant person. She's our protagonist.
 * Author Appeal: Like Tara Gilesbie, the author claims to be a goth Satanist, so naturally the characters are written as, you guessed it, goth Satanists.
 * Author Avatar: Marie, probably.
 * Beige Prose
 * Berserk Button: Don't tell the author that The Darkness of my Heart is horrible, or is a ripoff of My Immortal, because IT'S TOTALLY NOT U GUISE!!!! FUKKING PREPZ!!!!11 Also, in-story, when Marie is upset she'll sometimes release her "vampire powers".
 * Cluster F-Bomb: In almost every chapter.

"Fucking hell you fucking stupid ass fucking retards you almost fucking shot us you fucking fucker!""


 * Coitus Uninterruptus: Despite the fact that our heroes are running around in a hysterical frenzy after Berry turns Bloo into a prep (it... makes sense in context... sort of...), Terrence and Duchess decide to have intercourse right in the middle of the floor while this is all going on.
 * Common Mary Sue Traits: Oh where to even begin? An unusual eye color, gothic attire (acting as Author Appeal), magical abilities, instantly popular, the list goes on and on.
 * Costume Porn
 * Crack Fic: Whether intentionally or not is debatable.
 * Crunchtastic: Words like "sexily" and "suicidely" as well as many others are used as adjectives throughout the story
 * In chapter 12, Marie uses the word 'gothical' to describe her night with Bloo. Although it is a real word, she's not using it correctly.
 * Darker and Edgier: If you can call "Whinier and Emo-er" that, then sure.
 * Deus Ex Machina: While trapped in the dungeon cell, Marie's magical bloody vampire tears conveniently reveals a secret message that tells her and the gang how to escape.
 * In chapter 19, right when Marie's about to be killed by Berry, her "guardian demon" appears, freezes time, and gives her the power to beat Berry.
 * Dirty Old Man: Mr. Herriman.
 * Dramatic Ellipsis: It wouldn't be a goffik My Immortal knockoff without 'em.
 * Driven to Suicide: Marie attempts suicide after seeing Wilt cheating on her with Eduardo.
 * Emo Teen and Hormone-Addled Teenager: Marie, as well as a good portion of the main cast despite some of them not even being teenagers. Or human.
 * Everyone Is Bi: It's a My Immortal ripoff, what else did you expect? Although, unlike in MI, the main character does actually show interest in women and there is a girlxgirl pairing.
 * Expy: Considering the author's love for My Immortal, Marie Bloody Ebony D'arkness could be considered this to Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. Hell, just look at her second middle name and last name.
 * Fail O'Suckyname: Marie Bloody Ebony D'arkness, as while as the nicknames some of the canon characters are given such as Darkness (Mac) and Disturbia (Eurotrish).
 * Giftedly Bad: The author, if she's not a troll that is.
 * Goth: What the main characters think they are.
 * Hollywood Satanism
 * Missing Mom: Marie's father murdered her mother as revealed in chapter 19.
 * Mister Seahorse: Eduardo was apparently pregnant with Wilt's child in the past, but had a miscarriage.
 * Our Vampires Are Different
 * Out of Character: Every. Single. Canon. Character.
 * Overly Long Name: Marie Bloody Ebony D'arkness is the first obvious example, but her guardian demon Damien Ravenlord Topez Blud Alex Lane just takes the cake.
 * Parental Incest: In the first chapter Marie straight-out states that her father has raped her.
 * Rape as Backstory: See Parental Incest above, although it's only made mention of in chapter 1 and 19.
 * Rouge Angles of Satin
 * Shallow Love Interest: Marie probably only knew Wilt for a couple of hours at the most before they started banging like rabbits in heat. Same with Bloo, whom she had almost no interaction with until chapter 12 where he confesses his love to her and they hook up.
 * Stealth Parody: Most likely. Hopefully...
 * Tears of Blood
 * Troll Fic: Again, most likely.
 * Would Hit a Girl: Bloo punches Berry in chapter 15. He then attempts to kill her in chapter 19.
 * Yaoi Fangirl: The author seems to be fond of boy-on-boy action.