Conkers Bad Fur Day/Funny

"Gregg: Bloody things, I hate those bloody cats! The way they meow and they piss everywhere and their shit just smells bloody awful! All over my furniture!
 * Birdy the drunken scarecrow literally pimping out the game manual. "You love manual long time."
 * Pretty much the whole of "Sloprano" (the fight with The Great Mighty Poo).
 * This article from Destructoid sums it up perfectly.
 * Nintendo Capri Sun had a field day with this one. (Hey, I rhymed!)
 * Not on a good rhythm, though.
 * Don't forget Gregg the Grim Reaper; the guy may only show his face for three short cutscenes in the game, but they were awesome ones.

Gregg: I don't bloody believe it! They've got fish versions of the little bastards now!"

"The Fire Imps: "You see that button?" "Yeah?" "The one with the.." "Yeah?" "Press it." Brass Balls deployed
 * Screw it, every damn chracter. Some of the choicer lines:

Two Tediz doctors: "Now if you were to give this game, to say, 20 or 30 intelligent people, what would that do? Let's face it, what would it do-" *click* "What the fuck?! It's that bloody squirrel, quick, back into character! Me slice you-- *random Tediz gibberish*"

Conker to Fangy: "Now I know you're not usually a vegetarian, but I think it might be time for the meat and two veg, if you know what I mean. Looks like he needs a bit of tenderizing, though."

"Carl: "Ey up, bloody hell. Go on, put it on quick. Put it on, I like it like that. Ohhh...Ahhhh. Fan-f*cking-tastic!"
 * In Bats Tower:

Conker: "Oh, hang on, I think I got it on the wrong way round.

Carl: "Like bugger you have! What're you doin? Wha... Oh, F*ck!""

"The SHC General: "Right, form an orderly line. Oh wait, there's only one of you. Now, here are the plans. 0830, boat will arrive, we depart. Now, 0825 -- wait, 0830 - Aw f*ck that shit!" "I don't know what I been told, dud do doo doo -- uh, I don't know but -- Aw f*ck that shit!""
 * In the "It's War" chapter:

"Conkula: Oh, shit. The villagers again."
 * "Were your parents related? Like, before they were married?"
 * After the mostly-serious Conkula cutscene, there is a violent ramming at the door.


 * This is slightly funnier in the X Box re-make, since the censor beep practically comes out of nowhere.
 * "Time to wander around, aimlessly"