Wizards of Waverly Place/Funny

"Jerry: We're pancake faced monsters monsters!
 * If you like Max, he'll be the provider of a lot of Crowning Moments.
 * When Justin and Max switch bodies with the dance instructors in Quinceanera.
 * At the end of Positive Alex, when Justin expected Max to show him the video with the basketball game in which he took part, but instead Max filmed himself and their parents fooling around.
 * Every time Zeke tries to sing in "Daddy's Little Girl.
 * Also in that episode, "the pancake monsters."

Alex: We want syrup!

Harper: AHHHHHHHH! (runs away)"

"Justin: Look! An animal translator app!
 * Justin destroying the full wizard robe that Jerry gave him.
 * "This is a box of mud."

Max: Nah, that doesn't work, I tried it on my pet frog once and it just kept on saying "Keep this guy away from me, keep this guy away from me.""

"Alex:(turning around scared) Justin, stand up!
 * Zeke singing enthusiastically "Mexico! Mexico!" in the middle of the school just to get the role in Justin's play. One of the best moments in the show. In fact, most scenes involving Zeke invoke this trope.
 * In the Movies episode, Justin and Alex get trapped inside the movie and, while they're running away from the "bad guy" who chases them with a hair dryer, Justin falls on his face.

Justin: (stretches his arm dramatically) Forget about me, Alex, save yourself!

Alex: (deadpan) Seriously, Justin, just stand up.

Justin: Ok."

"Waiter: Excuse me, what are you doing?
 * In I Almost Drowned in a Chocolate Fountain, Justin and Max are hiding behind a rolling table in a restaurant, while they're spying on Alex, to get revenge on her, but a waiter catches them.

Justin: Uhhh... Trying to figure out how to get chocolate in that purse.

Waiter: Why?

Max: To mess with our sister.

Waiter: (suddenly angry) I have a sister... Get in!"

"Justin: No, because I checked your calendar and you've got no plans for the next 30 years.
 * Another exchange of lines:

Alex: Ha. I don't have a calendar.

Justin: Ha! People who don't have calendars also don't have plans! OWNED! SO HARD! OWNED!

Alex: (grim) Yeah, sometimes he wins."

"Jerry: Ok. Are you ready for your word, Max?
 * In Marathoner Helper, Max participates in a spelling bee. Hilarity Ensues:

Max: Max! M-A-C-K-S. Max.

Jerry: That isn't your word. That's your name... And you mispelled it.

Max:(shakes head) I should have asked for a definition."

"Justin: Alright, Max, get in that.
 * In Captain Jim Bob Sherwood, Justin and Alex prepare a dress for Max, so that he can interpret one of their comic book's characters. The dress is actually made by Harper and, when Justin tells Max to get it, Harper gets defensive:

Harper: What? No! Take a hike.

Max: Girl, you take a hike.

Harper: Oh yeah? (stares creepily)

Max: (backing away) I'm sorry, I'm sorry! (runs away terrified)"

"Alex: Oh, look, a review for the comic book.
 * The ending of that episode:

Justin: Ooh.

Alex: In the new issue of "Captain Jim Bob Sherwood", the baton has been passed on to a new artistic team...

Justin: (excitedly) That's us!

Alex: Sherwood is sucked into an alternate frontier that's riddled with crime and food he's never encountered before. He rescues Jessica Moon and returns to Farmtown with an intergalactic recipe for fajitas.

Justin: Fajitas.

Alex: The Russo sisters, Alex and Justine, have taken over the reins with flair.

Justin: What?

Alex: (cracks up and is laughing her butt off)

Justin: Did you say Justine?

Alex: Wow! Sometimes I don't have to do anything, and I still win!

Justin: I'm going to write a strongly worded letter to the reviewer.

Alex: Yeah, good luck with that, sis."

"Justin: Isn't that infuriating? Doesn't it make you wanna (pushes table close to the dad) throw a table?"
 * In the episode with family game night Justin says something along the lines of this:

"Guy in a helicopter: You there on the terrace, have you seen a stocky male, late forties running with a sack of money?
 * This exchange while Jerry and Max are trying to camp out on the terrace:

Jerry And Max: No!

Guy in a helicopter: Are you locked out?

Jerry And Max: No!

Guy in a helicopter: Has your manhood been called into question?

Jerry And Max: Yes!

Guy in a helicopter: Hang in there guys!"

"Max: Oh my gosh! I get it now! Our sister is truly evil. And it's not just fun evil, it's evil evil! Dad said if this ever happens we should run and change our names! Run, Guiseppe! Run!"
 * There's an episode where Theresa is out of town, and Max decides he's going to take her place, complete with comforting Alex and calling her mija.
 * In "The Good, the Bad, and the Alex," when Justin and Max think Alex is going to steal all the power for herself:

"Dexter: I do the Dougie. Lean and brush, lean and brush."
 * Also Max's list of demands for being king of the wizards: to get rid of spinning, to take off people's feet, and to be served pudding every morning, afternoon, and evening.
 * Dexter, the girls' landlord, is a veritable fount of these. He's even funnier when you remember that

"Justin: Chanting makes it important!
 * Half the things Justin says when he's merged with his future self.

Justin: The stark beauty of silence. *Beat* There, that's it.

Justin: Ahhh, sunshine!

Justin: I bought these jeans pre-ripped.

Justin: When cowboys used to get really really hungry they ate these things right there *Plays with the fringe on his jacket*."

"Jerry: Alex had so much going on, she made a sandwich with peanut butter on the outside of the bread.
 * From "Who Will Be The Family Wizard?":

Alex: No, actually I did that on purpose. That's what a forty year old gets for ordering off the kids menu."


 * Some of the interactions between Max and his conscience, who clearly hates his idiotic guts.
 * Gorog's addiction to smart phones. The guy may be a serious villain, but he's pretty damn funny too.
 * Another good one: His desire to get rid of rhyming spells because they annoy him.