Teen Wolf (TV series)/Funny

"Mrs. McCall: It's not like you're on drugs, right?
 * Scott and his mom:

Scott: Like, right now?

Mrs. McCall: "Right now?" Have you ever been on drugs?

Scott: Have you?

Mrs. McCall: ...Get some sleep."

"Stiles: AAAHH!! DO ANY OF YOU EVEN PLAY BASEBALL?"
 * Stiles and the McCall family baseball bat, from "Pack Mentality"

"Allison: You're thinking too much. You need to put your mind on something else. Think of me... naked."
 * Allison's bowling advice, from "Pack Mentality"

"Stiles: "Why is it starting to feel like you're Batman and I'm Robin? I don't wanna be Robin all the time!"
 * Which actually works, since
 * Stiles on his status as a sidekick, from "Pack Mentality"

Scott: "Nobody's Batman and Robin ANY of the time."

Stiles: "Not even some of the time?""

"Scott: "I am great at bowling.
 * Scott talking big to Jackson:

(cue Gilligan Cut to the hallway)

Stiles: "Scott, you're terrible at bowling!""

"Stiles: I don't think you should be barking orders with the way you look. In fact, I think that if I wanted to I could probably drag your little werewolf ass into the middle of the road and leave you for dead.
 * Basically, everything between Derek and Stiles during "Magic Bullet."

Derek: Start the car or I'm going to rip your throat out...with my teeth."

"One more question.
 * Alison getting her Aunt Kate off Scott's back, by showing her and her dad a condom. The looks on everyone's faces are pretty priceless.
 * Stiles and Danny:

What?!

Do you find me attractive? (Danny remains silent. Stiles leans forward waiting for an answer and falls out of his seat.)"

"I'll kill you. Do you understand me? I'm gonna kill you. And I'm too upset to come up with a witty description about how exactly I'm gonna kill you, but I'm just gonna do it, ok? I'm gonna, grr, goodbye."
 * Stiles' voicemail death threats:

"Stiles: Haven't you ever seen the Wolfman?
 * Stiles, after identifying wolfsbane before Scott:

Scott: ...No

Stiles: *Sighs* You're so unprepared for this."

"Derek: You've got to be kidding me."
 * Scott's howl in episode 6, the first one that is, the second one verges on a Crowning Moment of Awesome

""Dude! What are you doing to that guy's car?!""
 * Stiles introducing Scott to quite a lot of pain and torment in episode six, by use of Lacrosse Balls and a small angry mob. While proceeding to stand there observing things. For SCIENCE!

"Mrs. McCall: (hears someone enter) Scott?
 * From "Lunatic":

Stiles: (comes through the front door) Stiles.

Mrs. McCall: (notices something in his hand) Key.

Stiles: Yeah, I, uh, had one made."

"Danny: You're a horrible person.
 * Most (If not all) of Derek and Stiles interaction in "Wolf's Bane".
 * Especially when Danny shows up.

Stiles: I know, it keeps me up at night."

"Derek: Oh, and one more thing. (slams Stiles' head into the steering wheel)
 * And in the car in front of the hospital.

Stiles: Oh, holy hell, what was that for?!

Derek: You know what that was for, now go!"

"Allison: I'm sorry I was going so fast...
 * When the sheriff pulls over Allison:

Sheriff Stilinski: You weren't going that fast. Just, uh, 75 in a 25,in a construction zone ..."

"Alpha: His user name is 'Allison'? *beat* His password is ALSO 'Allison'?
 * "I told them I'd cut off my one remaining testicle before I'd cut you!"
 * Scott's quick thinking to get Coach Finstock off his neck at the dance: When the coach sees him there after having told him that he was not allowed to go, Scott quickly grabs Danny and dances with him, making the Coach's Angrish look like homophobia to the rest of the students. Finstock quickly backs off.
 * Stiles refusing to say "I told you so" in "Formality." Because it's not enough.
 * The Alpha makes Stiles get into Scott's account.

Stiles: Still want him in your pack?"

""Once a month she'll go out of her freakin' mind and try to tear me apart."
 * The expression on the Alpha's face afterwards should also count
 * Peter's explanation about what will happen if Lydia turns:

"Well actually, considering that she's a woman, twice a month.""

"Scott: We think she's turning.
 * Lydia's AWOL and Scott and Stiles think she's turning. They bring this up to Jackson, and...

Jackson: Turning... into...

Stiles: A unicorn. What do you think, dumbass?"