Verbal Backspace

Comedy trope: Alice says something. Then Bob says something or something happens that makes it clear that what she just said doesn't make sense. Alice quickly revises her statement and repeats it. On Second Thought is a more specific case of this, as are some forms of Inflationary Dialogue.

Alternatively, Alice attempts an compliment or insult. However, Bob responds with information contradicting what they thought, which could include Compliment Backfire or Insult Backfire. So, Alice tries again with a new insult or compliment, directly opposed to what they had just said. Could be compounded by a Hair-Trigger Temper.

Students of rhetoric may describe this as "epanorthosis". If Alice has to retract a practical idea that uses bad methods, it's a case of And That Would Be Wrong. If she has to retract a controversial opinion, it's a case of Not That There's Anything Wrong with That. If she's retracting an insult to someone she hadn't meant to insult, it's because of Insult Friendly Fire.

Anime and Manga
"Ritsuki: I find it very sexy when you stare at me like that.
 * In Morita-san wa Mukuchi, Mayu's trying to thank Ritsuki for fetching a book for her earlier when:

Mayu: (blushes and covers herself)

Ritsuki: Err, I mean vexing, I find it vexing."

Fan Works
"Kyon: I won't be able to get much use out of this until next winter, but I know once I do, I will greatly appreciate this! Asahina-san, I don't know what I've done to deserve such a fine present, but I am very grateful.
 * In Kyon: Big Damn Hero, after Kyon receives a longcoat as a gift from Mikuru.

Tsuruya: I've seen that coats before. You had it on when you beat up those Sumiyoshi-rengo fellows who hurt Kasai!

Koizumi: Y...yes. I've seen that once before, as well, that day you left even Mori-san impressed.

Kyon: Or, you know, maybe even sooner than that."

"Sakura: Hell, yeah! 'Not a front-line combatant' my ass, Sasuke! I am the champion of ass-kicking, you arrogant nutjob.
 * and then there is also one in Time Braid after Sakura decimates Pein

Sakura looks over and notices Naruto is winning a fight against three copies of himself with their will suppressed to release the Kyuubi entirely

Sakura:...ok, maybe I'm the runner-up. That's alright, I can live with being second to a guy that can knock out the damned Kyuubi."

"Dumbledore: Such services are extremely expensive, as you well know, and I cannot help but wonder why you deem them necessary.
 * An absolutely hilarious one occurs in Harry Potter and The Methods of Rationality. Quirrell suggests to Dumbledore that Harry take Occlumency lessons, with the as-of-yet undetermined teacher to have his memory wiped after every training session and an unbreakable vow to not reveal anything.

Harry: If it's money that's the problem, I have some ideas for making large amounts of money quickly -

Dumbledore: (without missing a beat) Thank you Quirinus, your wisdom is now quite evident and I am sorry for disputing it."

Video Games
"Huang: You still don't have a car?
 * Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars: During a random encounter, Huang meets a real estate agent who previously asked Huang to drive him around.

Real Estate Agent: Why do I need a car when I've got a buddy like you to drive me around?

Huang: I'm not your buddy.

Real Estate Agent: Come on, I'll pay you good!

Huang: So where are we going, buddy?"

"Sumika: Gaaaaah!!! Apologize to slugs!
 * Muv-Luv: When Takeru calls Sumika a slug, combined with Insult to Rocks:

Takeru: Gyahahahahaha!! Do you even know what you're saying!?

Sumika: Shut uuup! Apologize to me too!!"

Films
"Principal: I will keep you all night if I have to.
 * Mean Girls:

Teacher: We can't keep them past 4:00.

Principal: I will keep you till 4:00."

"Moses: The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen...
 * On the DVD Commentary the creators note that he has a pattern of trying to sound authoritative and then immediately backing off from whatever he said.
 * History of the World, Part I:

(one of the three tablets falls and breaks)

Moses: ... ten. Ten Commandments."

"Buford: Let's finish it, right now!
 * Back to The Future Part III:

Underling: Uh, not now, Buford. Marshal's got our guns.

Buford: Like I said, we'll finish this tomorrow!

Underling: Tomorrow we're robbing the Pine City stage.

Buford: What about Monday? We doing anything Monday?

Underling: No, you can kill him on Monday.

Buford: I'll be back this way on Monday!"

"Cardinal Richelieu: Do you know your accuser? Who brought you here?
 * The Three Musketeers 1973

M. Bonacieux: [pointing at Rochefort] That! That is the man!

Cardinal Richelieu: Take him away!

M. Bonacieux: That is not the man! It was another man altogether!"

"Rocko Dillon: [firing gun over audience's heads] Freeze, and nobody gets hurt!
 * The Naked Gun 33 1/3 (1994)

(grip falls from the rafters)

Rocko Dillon: Well, from now on!"

"Donkey: Wow. Who would want to live in a dump like that?
 * Shrek:

Shrek: That would be my home.

Donkey: And it is lovely! You know, you're really quite a decorator. It's amazing what you've done with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder."

"Rollo: I think the whole Octopus philosophy is poison. The only aim of any and every McCain business is to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize and halve the quality, to make enough money to acquire another business to downsize, etc., etc., without ever running a single one of them really well. And if anyone ever raises the question of quality, they're immediately attacked as an elitist, because at Octopus it's considered morally offensive to talk about anything but money. All so that Mr. Rod McCain can feel a little more powerful every day. That's why, instead of running this wonderful zoo properly, we've got to spoil it in order to finance his next mindless acquisition.
 * From Fierce Creatures, Rollo loses it and gives his zoo's employees a scathing critique of their new corporate owner:

(notices Willa, McCain's employee, standing behind him)

Rollo: (without flinching) On the other hand, he is a remarkable man--"

"Inigo: Give us the gate key.
 * The Princess Bride:

Yellin: I have no gate key.

Inigo: Fezzik, tear his arms off.

Yellin: Oh, you mean this gate key."

"Wonka: So much time and so little to do-- Wait. Strike that. Reverse it."
 * Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, twice:

"Marcus: Viktor fashioned two keys. What do you know of them?
 * From Underworld Evolution

Tanis: Keys? I don't know of any keys.

Marcus: (Spears Tanis in the shoulders and pulls him across the table)

Tanis: Oh... yes. Yes, those keys."

"Nicholas: It all started with my Uncle Derek. He was a Sergeant in the Met. He bought me a police pedal car when I was five. I rode around in it every second I was awake - arresting kids twice my size for littering and spitting. I got beaten up a lot when I was young, but it didn't stop me. I wanted to be like Uncle Derek.
 * In Hot Fuzz, Danny and Nick are discussing Nicolas' role model.

Danny: He sounds like a good bloke.

Nicholas: Actually, he was arrested for selling drugs to students.

Danny: What a cunt."

"Hal: Wow, okay, the stuff they make you read on air, that's un-freakin'-believable. It's crazy!
 * In Megamind, after Roxanne's report:

Roxanne: I wrote that piece myself, Hal.

Hal: What I was trying to say was, I can't believe that in our modern society, they let actual art get onto the news.

Roxanne: Nice save, Hal!"

"Miguel: (dramatically cutting away foliage) The trail that we blaze! (the foliage falls, revealing solid stone behind it) (points to the side) That trail that we blaze!"
 * In The Road to El Dorado when they first set off to find the treasure.

"Bruce Banner: I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You can smell crazy on him.
 * The Avengers

Thor: Take care how you speak. Loki may be beyond reason, but he is of Asgard and he is my brother.

Black Widow: He killed eighty people in two days.

Thor: ...he's adopted."

Live Action TV
"Kenneth: I will buy Mr Donaghy a new pair of pants!
 * In "The Stinson Missile Crisis" episode of How I Met Your Mother, Barney invokes this several times during his various Bimbo Delivery Systems, two commercials and an autodialer.
 * A favored technique on 30 Rock:

Assistant: Those pants cost $2,500.

Kenneth: I will find Mr Donaghy's pants!"

"Melody: Can you control yourself?
 * Scrubs:

JD: Of course I can.

Janitor: (opens the door) God is watching.

JD: I can't.

Janitor: Who is this "God" everyone fears?"

"Louis: Am I in heaven?
 * Pushing Daisies:

Chuck: Not yet. We all died, and heaven closes in like five minutes.

Ned: One minute.

Chuck: Heaven closes in like one minute."

"Sylar: I'm not a serial killer.
 * Heroes:

Luke: But you've got a pattern. You go after specific victims. You collect mementos.

Sylar: Okay, technically, I'm a serial killer."

"Kitty: Red, you can run the raffle.
 * That 70s Show:

Red: I'm your man.

Kitty: Don't yell at the customers.

Red: I'm kinda your man.

Kitty: And smile.

Red: You need another man."

"Ximenez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our four...no... Amongst our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again."
 * Monty Python's Flying Circus:

"Serena: Look B, I understand why you're reluctant to burst your happy bubble but I'm not giving up.
 * Gossip Girl:

Blair: I'm sorry if unlike some people I haven't been on the pill since I was fifteen.

Serena: Okay I am giving up."

"Bartlet: I could fund this initiative out of my pocket!
 * The West Wing:

Toby: It's ten million dollars.

Bartlet: Leo could fund this initiative out of his pocket!"

"Picard: I look forward to your report, Mr. Broccoli.
 * Star Trek: The Next Generation

(everyone on deck looks ruefully at him)

Picard, with mortified face: "Barclay.""

"Max: The entire Navy has this island surrounded! Would you believe it? The entire Navy!
 * The IT Crowd had Douglas do one of these when he talked about deleting incriminating files and then quickly added that he only meant to say "files".
 * A Running Gag in Get Smart, with Maxwell Smart's claims simultaneously growing less dramatic and more ridiculous, along the lines of:

KAOS agent: I find that hard to believe.

Max: Would you believe CONTROL has sent a small boat filled with special ops to rescue me?

KAOS agent: No.

Max: How about two Boy Scouts in a raft with a BB gun?"

"Stockwell Day: Let's look at the facts surrounding my leadership of our party. Since I took over, our founder, Preston Manning, has announced he's getting out of politics. We've had quite a few members leave the party. The latest poll puts our popularity just below E. coli bacteria. Okay, let's not look at the facts."
 * Royal Canadian Air Farce:

"Blackadder: It's good to be back in the saddle. Did I say saddle? I meant harness."
 * Blackadder the Third: Blackadder accidentally lets slip how he really sees the relationship between himself and the prince:

"Don: But who's gonna do it?
 * 3rd Rock from the Sun:

Tommy: I'll do it.

Don: Could be dangerous.

Tommy: Harry'll do it."

"Jayne: Don't know these folks, don't much care to.
 * From Firefly episode Heart Of Gold, when the others were trying to convince Jayne to help with a job that was "strictly speculative":

Mal: They're whores.

Jayne: I'm in."

"Kryten: At least Mr Lister's guitar survived intact.
 * After Starbug crashes in the Red Dwarf episode "Emohawk: Polymorph II":

The Cat casually takes the guitar and smashes it against a bulkhead.

Kryten: Not even Mr Lister's guitar survived intact."

"Arthur: That might just work.
 * Merlin and Arthur are trying to decide what to do with the sleeping Uther to protect him, and Merlin thinks they should disguise him, leading to:

Merlin: We could dress him as a woman!

Arthur: That, on the other hand...

Merlin: We could dress him as a servant!"

"Jeremy Clarkson: Still, I'd only lost one thing...
 * Top Gear:

[door falls off]

Jeremy: Two things."

"Nathan: Eight people in the world know ] exists. We need to keep it that way.
 * Played for drama in Person of Interest:

Alicia: Seven, Nathan. Seven people, unless you told someone.

Nathan: ["Oh crap"] ...come on, Alicia, you know I'm terrible at math."

Puppet Shows
"Kermit: He's one of us. And no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles we face, we never forget one of our own.
 * Muppets in Space:

...

Fozzie Bear: Hey! We left Bunsen and Beaker back at the gas station.

Kermit: Okay... Well, uh, from this point on, no matter what happens, we never forget one of our own."

"John Goodman: Don't worry, I promise to get all of you home back in one piece.
 * Muppets Tonight!, John Goodman is fighting in a war with a bunch of rats:

(a rat explodes and then comes back into view with his top torso separated from his bottom torso)

John Goodman: Okay, maybe several pieces."

Web Comics
"Roy: Well, that's gonna change now. Thanks for setting me straight, Dad. I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue Elan!
 * Order of the Stick:

(Durkon runs by screaming in terror)

Roy: I'm gonna pack up my gear and go rescue the entire rest of the party!"

"Vaarsuvius: But now we must defend ourselves against two highly skilled legal professionals-
 * Also, in a different strip:

Lawyer: Kitty kitty! Hello, kitty kitty! Hello!

Vaarsuvius: ONE highly skilled legal professional and one man in a very expensive suit."

"Jack: Now, before you do anything, just remember...we've got witnesses. I mean, "company.""
 * In Tweep, regarding embarrassing yearbook pictures:

"TAG: Success.
 * An unusually cheerful example appears in 'Schlock Mercenary, toward the end of Book Ten:

Captain Tagon: Hah! We're back in the fight!

Ennesby: The fight is over, sir.

Captain Tagon: Hah! The fight's over, and we're still standing!"

"Ebbirnoth: And Lieutenant Pibald here is a genius.
 * Another one here:

Pibald: I didn't say anything smart. I was just whining.

Ebbirnoth: And Lieutenant Pibald here is an idiot-savant."

"Sweetheart: Sorry friend. That could have gone better. Tip doesn't really have the training for field work. Or the shoes. Sometimes I wonder if being our token human has cracked him even more. When you come to, I'll see that you only deal with the other members of our t--
 * Skin Horse:

Unity: Sweetheart! Praise me! I punched out these monkeys real good!

Sweetheart: With me. You will only deal with me."


 * And again when Tip's reaction to her saying "This is a job for Tip" means it becomes "This is a job for Tip, supervised by me."

Web Original
"Nerd: Don't kill me!
 * The Angry Video Game Nerd:

Jason: (shows Friday the 13th cartridge)

Nerd: KILL ME!"

"Kathleen (offering Major Nelson a job at Checkpoint): "We can't technically pay you money, but we do have free soda!"
 * Loading Ready Run, Bandwidth Exceeded.
 * Check Point, Zyng and Zag

Paul: "No we don't!"

Kathleen: "Free water!""

""I think everyone remembers their first boner...Bowie.""
 * The Nostalgia Chick's 'Labyrinth'' review:

""Get past the the cock-tease presentation and the game is adequate at breast. Best.""
 * The Zero Punctuation review of Bayonetta makes a Running Gag of Freudian slips due to the game's Up to Eleven sexualisation:

"Spider-Man: This is the worst decision Marvel has ever ma--
 * I'm a Marvel And I'm a DC: Spider-Man lamenting Marvel losing the licensing to Transformers some twenty years ago:

(Deadpool holds up the head of his live-action movie In Name Only counterpart, a.k.a. Dude-Peel)

Spider-Man: This is the second worst decision Marvel has ever made!"

""Heh, Nerf should use this in their commercials. Nerf should not use this in their commercials, I immediately take that back.""
 * Todd in the Shadows mishears the lyrics to "I've Got Nerve" by Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus as "I've Got Nerf".

""Ah, Usher. The women want him and the men want him. Want to be him. I meant want to be him.""
 * Happens again in his Top 10 Best Pop Songs of 2011.

""One or the other. It's the fork in the throat--road, fork in the road. Henry's the one with the, ah, fork in the throat.""
 * The Joker has one in episode 8 of The Joker Blogs.

"Vegeta: "You...you cut through my armor! This was a gift from my father!"
 * In Dragon Ball Abridged, Episode 10:

Yajirobe: "I'm sorry, I'm sure your father was a great man!"

Vegeta: "I HATED my father!"

Yajirobe: "Oh, well then, I'm sure your father was a total prick."

Vegeta': "HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT!""

Western Animation
"Leela: I vow to become the best blernsball player ever.
 * Futurama:

Hermes: That's statistically impossible. At this rate you'll go down as the worst blernsball player ever.

Leela: Then I have a new vow. I vow to become not the worst blernsball player ever."

"Gloria Allred: We owe it all to me! And these six brave little boys.
 * South Park:

(Kenny dies)

Gloria Allred: Five brave little boys."

"M.C.: With nothing but each other, and overcoming all odds, these two brave friends...
 * Done again in "Tonsil Trouble":

Kyle: Oh stop! We're not friends! He's the one who infected me with AIDS!

(beat)

M.C.: These two brave lovers..."

"Dr. Weird: Gentlemen! There's a chance this will work! (hoses attached to body, occasional swelling)
 * Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Steve: Actually, you said there's no chance this will work.

Dr. Weird': (looks back to see a keg of BBQ sauce) FOOL! That will never work!"

"Girl Who Keeps Changing Her Name: Today my name is Jezebel.
 * Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales:

Linus: Jezebel was the evil wife of king Ahab in the Old Testament. In II Kings, it says that her servants threw her out the window and she landed on her head.

Girl Who Keeps Changing Her Name: Today my name is Susan."

"Moe: Good, 'cause I've got a hot date tonight.
 * Perhaps the greatest example of all comes from The Simpsons with Moe hooked up to a lie detector:

Buzz

Moe: A date.

Buzz

Moe: Dinner with friends.

Buzz

Moe: Dinner alone.

Buzz

Moe: Watching TV alone.

Buzz

Moe: Alright! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret Catalog.

Buzz

Moe: ...Sears Catalog.

Ding!

Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!

Buzz"

"Skwisgaar: Well, there are two things to do in a blackout. Get drunk. One thing to do."
 * They did it again in the episode parodying The Departed. After getting a mole into Bart's group, Chalmers gloats that they're going to put Bart away for a long time. Skinner points out that, legally, the most they can give him is a ten-day suspension. "Well, that's long to a kid!"
 * Metalocalypse

"Phineas: ...we're going to laser our faces into the comet! Then, when it comes back in seventy-three and a half years, we can all show our grandchildren! Oh, yeah - my parents are cooking steaks for everyone.
 * Phineas and Ferb:

Isabella: You had me at "our grandchildren".

Phineas: What?

[Record Scratch] Isabella: "Steaks"! You had me at "steaks"!"

"Dr. Light: No one can defeat Doctor Light! No one! *turns to see Raven*
 * An instance in Teen Titans serves as a Call Back and Continuity Nod.

Raven: Remember me?

Dr. Light: *turns back around, looking absolutely horrified* I'd like to go to jail now, please."

"Quagmire: Sure, Lois. I would do everything to you.
 * In Family Guy, Lois asks Quagmire for help.

Lois: What?

Quagmire: I would do anything for you."

"Le Fou: That crazy old loon! He needs all the help he can get!
 * In Beauty and The Beast:

Gaston: (laughs uproariously)

Belle: Don't talk about my father that way!

Gaston: Yeah! Don't talk about her father that way!"

"Billy: Mandy's gonna take your pants off!
 * From The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy:

Grim: "Beat your pants off".

Billy: BEAT YOUR PANTS OFF!"

Real Life

 * Online, there are two additional methods to invoke this: striking out the text writing the text in a strikethrough font, and writing one thing and then "backspacing" over it with control-H, written ^H. (Each control-H deletes one letter^H^H^H^H^H^H^H character.) This is a reference to 1980s-era Unix systems, where misconfigured terminals would display control codes instead of invoking them. (A more obscure option is control-W, which deletes entire words ^W^W^W deleted one word in the Berkeley UNIX and in the vi text editor, and was therefore used for more succinct Verbal Backspaces.)
 * Lojban has actual words for this: The words "si", "sa" and "su", to be specific.