Ghost Adventures/Funny

"Zak Is it you? *pans over to one photo* You're very beautiful. *pans over to another photo* Is it you? You're...very pretty. *pans over to another photo* Is it you? You're (beat) ...okay-looking."
 * The Birdcage Theater:
 * Aaron freaking out over a taxidermed bison head.
 * Zak trying to find which Soiled Dove's spirit is trying to communicate with them:

"Aaron: Something's out there? Just in case. Machete. I'm gonna fuck something up."
 * Zak's eagerness in wanting to see - and hopefully capture on film - the apparition of a naked woman.
 * Moon River Brewery:
 * The literal Cat Scare while the guys were looking for old tunnels originally connected to the location.
 * Poveglia:

"Zak: I feel something tingly on my inner thighs.
 * Ram's Head Inn:

Witch: She is inside you.

Zak: Wh-"

"Zak: (lying on a patient's bed) Does anyone want to come and cuddle up with me? (beat) If you're female?"
 * Rolling Hills Sanitarium:

"Nick: It smells like chili in here.
 * Eastern State Penitentiary:
 * Zak looks though a book of inmate deaths and sees a rather unusual one: masturbation. No explanation whatsoever, just the one word.
 * There's a recent one at the Waverly Hills Sanatorium in Kentucky.

Zak: It smells like chili? It smells like death in here, what's wrong with you?"

"Zak: We don't do that. ("That" referring to provoking one of the ghosts)
 * The Stanley Hotel while interviewing with a witness, who also happens to be a young girl.

Bailey Kramer: Well, I do.

Zak stares at one of the cameras, while Nick and Aaron can be heard laughing offscreen

Zak: I was just being sarcastic."

"Zak: Whoever gets scared first is goosed.
 * "You see, the great thing about the Stanley Hotel is that you can just walk around and there's elk just interacting with people. You can walk up and talk to them.... And they talk back..... Not really."
 * "They said that originally this little cubby was an aquarium full of trout, but they emptied it out years ago and now it's just a blank panel. So supposedly you can look in and see the ghosts of the trout that were eaten... *looks into full aquarium full of trout* Uh, I don't know, I don't see anything. Maybe you do."
 * "So he tends to not like men in his room, but strokes the hair of women. I see what he means. If a guy walked into my room, I'd wanna push him out too. But if a girl came into my room... Well... That's a different story."
 * Aaron being mistaken for Sasquatch/Bigfoot in the Fort Chaffee episode.
 * The return to the Goldfield Hotel had the gang running into a Clown Motel. Zak walks in, even though he's afraid of both dolls (which were lined up along two of the walls) and clowns. Hilarity Ensues.
 * The Valentine's Day episode where Zak and Aaron seemed really into the prospect of having ghost sex. The entire episode kept getting more and more ridiculous until the end, where Zak tells Nick and Aaron that he's spending the night in the room where the ghost woman supposedly has sex with guests and is next seen telling cameras to stay out and bringing flowers in. The next morning, he seemingly confirms that something happened.
 * The caddy from the episode where they played golf. Nobody seems to know where he came from, but he definitely didn't take his job seriously.
 * Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum:

(cut to Zak being freaked out 3 times)"

"Zak: What state are we in right now? Where are we?
 * The Sacramento Tunnels episode had the boys take a break at a salt water taffy store. Five minutes of completely random, funny shenanigans take place, including Aaron trying to shoot film and pick candy at the same time as well as Zak and Aaron fighting over taffy barrels.
 * Don't forget the scene with the tour guide. Wanting to catch up on history, Zak meets up with a tour guide who decides to give a LOT of information on Sacramento. The montage loops over much of the information he relays and is made funnier by Zak's confused look and the shot of Aaron asleep on some steps close by.
 * When the random rainstorm blew Zak's umbrella away, he went into the storm chasing after it.
 * This:

Voice: Go check.

Zak (on voiceover): Was this spirit being a smartass?"

"Zak: Aaron's safety is priority. *as he's barricading Aaron into the room with a wooden plank against the door*"
 * During investigation of the Ancient Ram Inn, the team has Aaron stand in a room where a child was thrown and leave him there to see if he can get the same reaction. As the other two are leaving:

"Aaron: I'm serious, if you hear me yelling or something, something bad probably happened. Come quick.
 * The aftermath of the storm during the Hales Bar Marina and Dam episode. The boys go out after the storm to survey the damage, including a flipped over dock that they had been filming near earlier, when they spot a news crew pulling in on the road below them. Zak, in all his infinite wisdom decides to go meet the news team by jumping a water-filled ditch that has power lines lying dangerously close to it. He barely makes it, slips on some mud and lands on his ass.
 * Yes it's in the interests of trying to debunk a piece of evidence that he's gotten of a pair of boards he's set up falling over, but watching Zak jump up and down like a four year old jumping on the bed was hilarious.
 * Pretty much the entire first ten minutes of the Winchester House episode, including but not limited to:
 * Zak, Nick and Aaron's difficulty in finding their way around the mansion
 * Zak sniffing and pretending to lick the wallpaper like something out of Willy Wonka's candy factory
 * Zak attempting to sing Madonna's "Like A Prayer" for...no discernible reason at all.
 * The boys' antics in the shooting gallery, especially Aaron's apparent eagerness to get his hands on a gun.
 * From Bobby Mackey's.

Zak: Alright, alright.

Nick: [walking away] Demanding little guy, isn't he?"

"Zak: [being chased down the sidewalk by a couple of kids] Guys...I don't have any candy!"
 * In the recent episode where they investigated Johnny Cash's house, Zak reveals his fear of roaches by flipping out. Aaron torments him by lightly stroking the back of his hair, mimicing a roach's feet. It's all played for laughs.
 * The Whitehead Manor had another Info Dump similar to the one in Sacramento. However, this time the tour guide has also written a book about its history. What makes it so hilarious is that Zak has bought one and is having trouble finding which page they were at.
 * Mizpah Hotel: