Saiunkoku Monogatari/Characters

Saiunkoku Monogatari has a rich and diverse cast and the list below features important primary and secondary characters in the series.

Shi Ryuuki
"The nineteen-year-old Emperor of Saiunkoku. Basically a big dork, albeit with Hidden Depths.

VAs: Tomokazu Seki (JP), Brad Swaile (EN)"


 * Abusive Parents: His mother resented the fact that Emperor Senka didn't favor her, and took it out on Ryuuki. Senka wasn't actively abusive, but won't be winning any father of the year awards, either.
 * Acquired Poison Immunity
 * Adorkable
 * Apparently Powerless Puppetmaster
 * Authority Equals Asskicking: Ryuuki is a good enough swordsman to make it the semifinals of a combat tournament with some of the finest warriors in the empire. He also
 * Big Brother Worship: Especially as a kid, but it still shows.
 * Bishonen
 * Bi the Way: It is obvious more or less since the beginning, but to make sure Shuurei can't deny it anymore gets it, Ryuuki
 * Dogged Nice Guy
 * The Emperor: Of the most benevolent sort.
 * I Want My Beloved to Be Happy
 * I Will Definitely Protect You: Says this to Shuurei (of course) and Eigetsu.
 * King Incognito: Frequently, especially earlier in the series, and on at least one occasion his subjects don't initially believe him when he does state his true identity. On the other hand, the first time it comes up it's almost immediately subverted: when they first meet, Ryuuki introduces himself to Shuurei as Ran Shuuei, but Shuurei sees through the lie instantly since she's already met the real Ran Shuuei.
 * Long-Haired Pretty Boy
 * Obfuscating Stupidity: There's a reason that Ryuuki was the only one of the previous Emperor's six sons to survive the Imperial Court long enough to take the throne; he is considerably sharper than he chooses to let on.
 * Parental Abandonment
 * Royal We: In the original Japanese dialogue he refers to himself with a royal pronoun which serves essentially the same function, and is sometimes translated as the royal "we." It occasionally trips him up a little when he's being Emperor Incognito.
 * Royals Who Actually Do Something: Shuurei's purpose in joining the Imperial Harem is to turn Ryuuki into this.
 * The Unfavorite: Ryuuki grew up at the absolute bottom of a pecking order of six princes and their mothers.
 * Unexpected Successor: The youngest of six princes, he only became Emperor because one of his brothers was exiled and the rest executed for treason.
 * Youngest Child Wins: May count as a straight example or a subversion, depending on your perspective; he may be the most successful of the previous emperor's children, but the series takes pains to show how much being emperor fails to make him happy.

Shi Senka
"Ryuuki's father, the previous Emperor, deceased by the time of the story."


 * The Emperor
 * Posthumous Character
 * Posthumous Character

Kou Shuurei
"Our heroine, an impoverished noblewoman and classic Plucky Girl. Her dream is to become a government official, which is a little problematic since women aren't allowed to serve as government officials in Saiunkoku.

VAs: Houko Kuwashima (JP), Kelly Sheridan (EN)"


 * All Girls Want Bad Boys: Averted; when her Unlucky Childhood Friend Santa tries to win her heart by joining a gang, she is definitely not impressed. However, also played straight with her attraction to Sa Sakujun.
 * Celibate Hero: Says she's afraid of falling in love because it would distract her from her goals in life. Later, she admits that her insecurities related to her mother's death are the real reason.
 * Daddy's Girl: Her father is Shuurei's favorite person in the world.
 * Dude Magnet: At least three men have declared their love for her. Various others (or really, most of the male cast) are also shown to be attracted to her romantically in varying degrees. Eigetsu is pretty much the only non-grandpa-aged male to show none whatsoever.
 * I Love You Because I Can't Control You: Accounts for the strength of Shuurei's appeal to quite a number of men, starting with Ryuuki.
 * Fear of Thunder: In one particularly memorable episode that involved.
 * Girly Run
 * Guile Hero
 * Ill Girl: Was one until her mother's death.
 * Oblivious to Love
 * Plucky Girl
 * Supreme Chef
 * Sweet Polly Oliver: She briefly poses as "Kou Shuu" to work as an assistant to Ko Kijin in the Ministry of Finance, courtesy of Li Kouyuu.
 * Through His Stomach: Everybody loves Shuurei's cooking, but it has special meaning for Ryuuki thanks to Shouka sharing the meals Shuurei cooked for him whenever he visited the Archives.
 * Tsundere: Type B. Shuurei is mostly friendly and polite, but Ryuuki especially has a talent for bringing out her violent side.

Kou Shouka
"Shuurei's doting father, in charge of the Palace Archives and, to all appearances, mostly useless outside of them.

VAs: Shuichi Ikeda (JP), Michael Kopsa (EN)"


 * Bumbling Dad
 * Doting Parent
 * Eyes Always Shut: An indication of his easygoing good nature.
 * Impoverished Patrician
 * Lethal Chef: He can't even make a cup of tea without wrecking the kitchen, and Ryuuki is the only one who can drink his tea without cringing.
 * Not with Them for the Money: The family's financial situation would be much less dire if Shouka weren't so easygoing and completely unconcerned about money that he allowed his pay from the palace to be reduced almost to nothing. This in spite of the fact that not only are his brothers (who adore him) some of the most wealthy and influential men in Saiunkoku, he's served as a surrogate father figure for years to the man who is now the Emperor.
 * Parental Substitute: To both Seiran and Ryuuki.
 * Not with Them for the Money: The family's financial situation would be much less dire if Shouka weren't so easygoing and completely unconcerned about money that he allowed his pay from the palace to be reduced almost to nothing. This in spite of the fact that not only are his brothers (who adore him) some of the most wealthy and influential men in Saiunkoku, he's served as a surrogate father figure for years to the man who is now the Emperor.
 * Parental Substitute: To both Seiran and Ryuuki.
 * Parental Substitute: To both Seiran and Ryuuki.

Shi Seiran
"Shouka and Shuurei's loyal retainer.

VAs: Hikaru Midorikawa (JP), Andrew Francis (EN)"


 * Badass: Seriously, killing multiple grown-up assailants who  despite being 12 years old? Definite Crowning Moment of Awesome material.
 * Back-to-Back Badasses: With Ensei during one of the fights with Murderous Blades.
 * Badass Long Hair
 * Battle Butler: Shuurei's.
 * Berserk Button: The Satsujinzoku.
 * Big Brother Instinct: Towards Shuurei.
 * Long-Haired Pretty Boy
 * Meaningful Name: "Shi," written with a different kanji than the family name of the Shi clan, refers to a plant used to make purple dye - meaningful because not only do they sound the same, the "Shi" of the royal family's name means "purple." "Seiran" means "silent orchid," and was given to him by Shuurei's mother because he did not speak for some time after the Kou family took him in.
 * Old Retainer
 * Red Baron: "Little Whirlwind"
 * Spit Take: Makes one when told by Shuurei he's her second favorite person in the world.
 * The Stoic
 * Not So Stoic: Looses his cool while confronting his own Dark and Troubled Past  and when he thinks Shuurei has feelings for Sa Sakujun.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Ensei.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Ensei.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Ensei.

Li Kouyuu
"Vice Minister of Civil Affairs under Kou Reishin. A promising up-and-coming government official, he is specifically assigned as an aide to the Emperor... provided he can ever find him.

VAs: Nobuyuki Hiyama (JP), Andrew Toth (EN)"


 * He-Man Woman Hater: Kouyuu claims to dislike women (though he gets along fine with Shuurei).
 * Heterosexual Life Partners: With Ran Shuuei.
 * Hypercompetent Sidekick: To Reishin, whose job Kouyuu mostly does for him. Only to a mild degree though, as it's just laziness on the part of Reishin, who is a Chessmaster in his own right.
 * Meaningful Name: "Li" for plum, Reishin's favorite flower and fruit. The "Kou" in "Kouyuu," similar to the family name of the Kou clan, means "crimson."
 * No Sense of Direction: Though he usually refuses to admit this flaw and instead claims that his intended destination has moved without his prior knowledge.
 * Non-Action Guy: His ability with a sword is pretty much limited to "wave it wildly until Shuuei bails him out."
 * Tsundere: A very mild example, but he seems to demonstrate a few classic traits.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: Kouyuu's response to Shuuei's claims that they are good friends is usually an annoyed denial.

Kou Reishin
"Shouka's younger brother, the Minister of Civil Affairs.

VAs: Mitsuaki Madono (JP), Louis Chirillo (EN)"


 * Big Brother Worship: Reishin more or less worships the ground Shouka walks on, and this also extends to Shouka's daughter. They're the only two people he can be bothered to be nice to on anything like a regular basis.
 * Creepy Uncle: How creepy? He acts more like a Stalker with a Crush than Shuurei's uncle, and in a rant to Shouka, says outright that he doesn't mind marrying her and that she will be happy with him. (To be fair, they were discussing about arranging a political marriage for her and it's not said with romantic intent, which makes it slightly less creepy. Slightly.)
 * Jerkass: How much of a jerk is Reishin? When he and his friend Ko Houju fell for the same woman, Reishin This led directly to Houju constantly wearing masks and calling himself "Kijin," meaning "weirdo."
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: As the manga states, "his personality sucks," but underneath it he's a good person.
 * Overprotective Dad: To his adopted son Kouyuu, although he'd never admit it.
 * Relationship Sabotage: See "Jerkass."
 * Tsundere: Reishin is more or less a jackass to anyone else, even his friends and his adopted son, but Shuurei and Shouka reduce him to blushing and cooing.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Ko Kijin. Reishin is too much of a Jerkass and Kijin is just too weird to be best friends with anyone else. May also be Heterosexual Life Partners; Reishin is married but we never see his wife and these two almost always pop up together.
 * "Well Done, Son" Guy: To Kouyuu.

Kou Shokun
"Shouka's wife and Shuurei's mother, who died of illness when Shuurei was a little girl.

VAs: Mie Sonozaki (JP), Lisa Ann Beley (EN)"


 * Missing Mom: Shuurei's.
 * Posthumous Character
 * Something About a Rose:
 * Posthumous Character
 * Something About a Rose:

Kou Kurou
"Shouka and Reishin's youngest brother and the proxy leader of the Kou Clan.

VAs: Ryotaro Okiayu (JP), David Orth (EN)"


 * Disproportionate Retribution: When Reishin is accused of tampering with the results of the Imperial Examinations, Kurou orders a labor strike which grinds the entire capital city to a halt. When Shouka's servants abandoned him following Shokun's death and stole most of the household's valuables, Kurou had them hunted down and had their eyes and severed ears sent to their families.
 * The Reliable One: Is considered as more level-headed and more concerned with clan affairs than his two older brothers, and is therefore effectively the head of the clan despite the position being officially held by Reishin.

Ran Shuuei
"A general of the Imperial Army. Like Li Kouyuu, he's an up-and-comer in the Imperial Court and was assigned as a personal retainer to the Emperor. Reputed to be a ladies' man, but usually seen joined at the hip with Kouyuu instead.

VAs: Toshiyuki Morikawa (JP), Michael Adamtwaite (EN)"


 * Bodyguarding a Badass: Subverted. While Ryuuki is strong in his own right, and guarding him is indeed his duty, Shuuei is actually much stronger than Ryuuki but prefers to keep that a secret.
 * The Casanova: Can get any woman to fall for him except for the two he fell in love with.
 * Conflicting Loyalty: Between Ryuuki and his family.
 * Heterosexual Life Partners: With Li Kouyuu.

Ran Ryuuren
"Shuuei's younger brother. Generally understood to be a genius; also generally understood to be completely loopy.

VAs: Hidenobu Kiuchi (JP), Matthew Erickson (EN)"


 * Beware the Silly Ones: Ryuuren's loopiness is part of his genius. His unpredictability means that nobody can get a handle on him or manipulate him. Also, his flute-playing is completely tuneless, physically painful to hear, a legitimate weapon and can also stop pouring rain.
 * Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Ryuuren is so quirky that most people can barely understand anything he says. He's also a genius who travels as he wishes because, regardless of the place, nobody can keep him out.
 * Dreadful Musician: His flute-playing.
 * Genius Ditz
 * Intelligence Equals Isolation: His intelligence is mentioned before as a reason for his quirks because he does not see the world the same as ordinary people.
 * Moment Killer: To Kourin's great frustration.
 * Nice Hat: He wears a number of odd things on his head, but the standout is the large and brilliantly-colored phoenix he wears to the palace's new year celebration.

Ran Jyuusanhime
"Shuuei's younger sister, and a prospective bride for Ryuuki.

VA: Megumi Toyoguchi (JP)"


 * Action Girl
 * Identical Stranger: She and Shuurei look almost exactly alike.
 * Twin Switch: Their very similar looks lead inevitably to Jyuusanhime and Shuurei switching places as part of a ploy to foil an assassination.
 * Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Her name just means "thirteenth princess," which is the position she was born into in the Ran clan. She is shown complaining about it as a child.

Ran Setsuna
"Shuuei and Ryuuren's oldest brothers, a set of triplets collectively named Setsuna who co-lead the Ran Clan.

VA: Mitsuru Miyamoto (JP)"


 * Single Minded Triplets: Played with. Multiple births are considered unlucky in Saiunkoku, so the Ran family named all three triplets "Setsuna" and raised them to be as indistinguishable from one another as possible, treating them as the same person. In fact, this becomes a plot point late in the second season, as a test for  The only other person to have successfully differentiated between the three of them is the wife of one of them.

Sa Enjun
"Leader of the Sa Clan and one of the three "grand old men" of the Imperial Court, along with Shou Yosei and General So.

VAs: Naoki Bandou (JP), Trevor Devall (EN)"


 * Always Someone Better: Enjun's greatest goal at the end of his life is to surpass Shou Yosei.
 * Out-Gambitted: And then some. But then also subverted, when it is revealed that
 * Thanatos Gambit:
 * Thanatos Gambit:

Hyou Eiki
"Sa Enjun's wife, and not a woman to be messed with.

VAs: Mami Horikoshi (JP), Jacqueline Samuda (EN)"


 * Cool Old Lady
 * I Was Quite a Looker
 * Never Mess with Granny: Because she can and will bitchslap
 * Spider Sense: Eiki has the ability to see the future.

Kourin
"Thirteen-year-old lady-in-waiting to the Imperial Harem.

VAs: Eri Sendai (JP), Chantal Strand (EN)"


 * Hidden Depths: Unexpectedly manages to write down the whole obscure poem she was tested with while
 * Tsundere: Type B. Kourin is sweet and ladylike to everyone - except for Eigetsu. And Ryuuren, but he exasperates everyone.

Sa Sakujun
"One of Sa Enjun's nephews.

VAs: Takehito Koyasu (JP), John Murphy (EN)"


 * Acquired Poison Immunity
 * Brilliant but Lazy: He's generally only motivated to take action when something's getting in the way of his personal amusement. And by "take action" we mean "manipulate someone else into removing the obstacle." Even with that, he manages to do quite a bit of damage.
 * Camp Straight: Looks and behaves somewhat flamboyantly, but isn't interested in anyone except Shuurei.
 * Chronic Backstabbing Disorder
 * Evil Redhead
 * Forceful Kiss: Plants a few on the object of his affections.
 * The Hedonist
 * Long-Haired Pretty Boy
 * Manipulative Bastard
 * Not So Harmless: As his older brother Sojun learns.
 * Villainous Crush
 * What Is This Thing You Call Love?: Sakujun is distinctly fuzzy on the concept of caring about anyone other than himself, and admits that he can't be sure his feelings for Shuurei are actually love since he's never felt anything of that nature before.
 * What Is This Thing You Call Love?: Sakujun is distinctly fuzzy on the concept of caring about anyone other than himself, and admits that he can't be sure his feelings for Shuurei are actually love since he's never felt anything of that nature before.

Sa Kokujun
"Sakujun's younger brother, another one of Enjun's nephews.

VA: Kosuke Toriumi (JP)"


 * Kissing Cousins: With Shunki.
 * Youngest Child Wins: In Kokujun's case, mostly by virtue of being a decent human being and not crazy.

Sa Shunki
"Enjun's granddaughter and Kokujun's fiancee. She inherited the power of her grandmother's Hyou Clan bloodline.

VAs: Rumi Shishido (JP), Natalie Walters (EN)"


 * Compelling Voice
 * Cute Mute: At least until her voice is unsealed.
 * Kissing Cousins: With Kokujun.
 * Lysistrata Gambit: A very mild version; when Kokujun gets overwhelmed by his responsibilities as the new leader of the Sa Clan and panics, Shunki motivates him by gently pointing out that finishing his duties will give them "more time to spend together as husband and wife." It works perfectly.
 * The Voiceless: Again, until her voice is unsealed.

Ko Kijin
"The Minister of Finance. One of the odder characters in the Imperial Court, which is saying something.

VAs: Nakada Kazuhiro (JP), Mark Oliver (EN)"


 * Appropriated Appellation: His real name is Ko Houju. "Kijin," meaning "weirdo," is a nickname originally given to him by others, which he began using himself after being rejected by a woman for being too beautiful.
 * Bunny Ears Lawyer: He's in charge of the Ministry of Finance, and respected in spite of being difficult to deal with... not to mention his other quirks.
 * Expressive Mask: His masks are not animated, but Reishin provides him with a wide assortment of them and some of them are painted to be very expressive.
 * Long-Haired Pretty Boy: The prettiest! Not that we ever get to see his face.
 * Rapunzel Hair: A lot of the men have it, but Kijin is particularly notable because he wears his completely loose.
 * So Beautiful It's a Curse: The year that Kijin took the Imperial Examinations, his beauty proved so distracting that only two other candidates passed the exams and thirty officials had to be fired for forgetting to announce the end of the exam period.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Reishin. See his entry for this.

Hyou Riou
"Head of the Hyou family, although that is a position that is ordinarily held by a woman.

VA: Toshihiko Seki (JP)"


 * Older Than They Look: He's actually in his eighties, but looks like a young man.
 * Something About a Rose: His appearances and disappearances tend to be accompanied by rose petals.
 * White-Haired Pretty Boy

Riou
"Hyou Riou's son, who also goes by Riou, although he says at one point that it isn't really his name.

VA: Yuki Kaida (JP)"


 * Alas, Poor Villain: In-universe, he has one of these moments over.
 * Mouthy Kid: In a Deadpan Snarker kind of way.
 * Wise Beyond Their Years

Hyou Ren
"Son of Hyou Riou's sister Ruka.

VA: Asami Yaguchi (JP)"


 * Body Snatcher: Snatched the body of Ka Shin, Eigetsu's father figure, and founded the Jasenkyou as part of a wider conspiracy to lure him and Shuurei.
 * Enfante Terrible/Psychopathic Manchild

Shou Yosei
"Usually referred to as "Advisor Shou". With Sa Enjun and Grand General So, he's one of the three Grand Officials of the Imperial Court.

VAs: Kouji Ishii (JP), John Novak (EN)"


 * Batman Gambit:
 * Manipulative Bastard

Grand General So
"The third of the three Grand Officials of the Imperial Court, with Shou Yosei and Sa Enjun. Usually appears for the sole purpose of beating the stuffing out of swordsmen fifty years younger than he is.

VAs: Mitsuru Ogata (JP), Dale Wilson (EN)"


 * Badass Grandpa
 * Cool Old Guy

Shusui
"Lady-in-waiting to the Imperial Harem; she assists Shuurei during Shuurei's time as Consort.

VAs: Akemi Okamura (JP), Nicole Oliver (EN)"


 * Feminine Women Can Cook: Played with a little. Shusui is adept in all the feminine graces save for embroidery, at which even Ryuuki is better than she is.
 * Lady of War
 * Mind Control Eyes:

Tei Yuushun
"Contemporary of Reishin and Kijin and inarguably the sanest of the three. Mild-mannered, pleasant, and very adept at playing politics.

VAs: Nobutoshi Canna (JP), Vincent Tong (EN)"


 * Actually, I Am Him:
 * Hidden Depths: He may seem mild-mannered and even kind of bland, but he has a very sharp political mind, not to mention cojones of solid steel.
 * Non-Action Guy
 * Puss in Boots: While Ryuuki is intelligent and competent in his own right, he lacks experience in governing, especially when it comes to the finer points of clan-related issues and power struggles. Hence, he relies heavily on Yuushun to bail him out when he's cornered in assemblies and to think of plans and tactics. For example, Yuushun is basically responsible for his tactics for bringing Shuuei back from the Ran clan from start to finish. Although it's never really discussed, he presumably filled a similar role to Ensei while serving as Lieutenant Governor of Sa Province, given the unusual nature of Ensei's appointment as Governor.

Shin Suou
"Introduced late in the story, after Shuurei comes back from the Sa Province. Makes a failure of a proposal to Shuurei on his father's orders. Later becomes Shuurei's colleague and helps her in Ran family arc.

VA: Anri Katsu (JP)"


 * Brilliant but Lazy: An interesting case. He's definitely lazy, but while he's not necessarily as intelligent as Shuurei or Seiga, he's not nearly as dumb as most people - himself included - claim he is. In particular, he turns out to be extremely perceptive, and in the end, out of Seiga, Shuurei and himself, is.
 * In-Series Nickname: "Tan-Tan," courtesy of Seiran. This is because he carries around a golden tanuki statue in his first appearance.
 * Only Sane Man: Is not necessarily depicted as "right" all the time, but his laid-back attitude makes him this in contrast to Shuurei's enthusiasm and Seiran's crazy overprotective tendencies, among other things.
 * Parental Abandonment: His mother leaves his dad and him for a rich man, and can't even recognize him when she sees him. However, unusually in this cast, he's not very broken up about it, and accepts his mother when she comes back to them.

Rou Ensei
"An old friend of Seiran's, and general go-to guy for when you need someone to open up a can of unadulterated whoop-ass.

VAs: Kentaro Ito (JP), Jason Simpson (EN)"


 * Asskicking Equals Authority: Despite not having passed any of the examinations required to qualify for public office, Ensei was made Governor of Sa Province by special dispensation because the Imperial court needed someone in the position who could survive the Sa clan's repeated assassination attempts.
 * Badass
 * Good Scars, Evil Scars: Ensei has an x-shaped "hero scar" on his cheek.
 * He Cleans Up Nicely: When first introduced, Ensei sports an unkempt, bushy beard and generally wild appearance. When he shaves the beard off later on, he turns out to be quite a good-looking fellow.
 * I Am Not Left-Handed: Ordering him to drop his staff is a bad idea - Ensei prefers to use a staff as a weapon because, as Seiran explains, it allows him to be more gentle on his opponents than when he fights barehanded.
 * Red Baron: "Little Staff King"
 * Simple Staff
 * Shipper on Deck: For Shuurei/Seiran, during his first appearance in the series.
 * Vitriolic Best Buds: With Seiran.

To Eigetsu/Yougetsu
"A thirteen-year-old boy who comes to the Imperial Capital to take the qualifying examinations for government office. Keep him away from sake.

VAs: Daisuke Namikawa (JP), Reece Thompson (EN)"


 * Parental Abandonment: Eigetsu originally came from a large family; his parents tried to kill him when, due to their poverty, they could not afford to feed everyone.
 * Demonic Possession: More or less. He was saved from dying after the above by Yougetsu, who possessed him in order to extend his life. Yougetsu is rather than a demon, but in practice it works out the same.
 * Drunken Master: Drinking or even smelling sake brings out Yougetsu, who is a master fighter.
 * I Was Just Passing Through: Yougetsu makes excuses for basically everything nice that he does.
 * Improbable Age: Co-governor of a province at thirteen.
 * Peek-a-Bangs
 * Power-Up Food: Sake, since it brings out Yougetsu.
 * Powers Via Possession: What Yougetsu does for Eigetsu, essentially.
 * Super-Powered Evil Side: Yougetsu. Though he ultimately proves to be less Evil and more of a Jerk with a Heart of Gold.
 * Teen Genius: He claims that he's not a genius and is able to memorize texts due to sheer hard work, but considering that he's the youngest person to ever pass the exams (younger than Kouyuu by three years), in first place no less, it's not very credible.

Kai Yu
"Governor of Koku Province, later Governor of Sa Province, all-around cool guy.

VA: Yosuke Akimoto (JP)"


 * Cool Old Guy
 * Grandpa, What Massive Hotness You Have: Shuurei is warned that if he were thirty years younger, she'd be in danger of losing her heart to Kai Yu. She doesn't take it seriously... until she meets him. Heck with I Was Quite a Looker; he's quite a looker now.

Dr. You Shikou
"Regarded as the best doctor living in Saiunkoku at the time of the story. He treated Shuurei when she was a child, since she was often ill.

VA: Aruno Tahara (JP)"


 * Bunny Ears Lawyer