The Darkness (video game)/Funny

The Darkness Video Game
"(While talking about the Key of Mictlan) Part of me believes that the Darkness is inside all of us. Just a small bit of essence. It's a part of us. Maybe the Darkness came from us; maybe it's an extension of who we are, I don't know. But I do know that if any of those crazy ideas are even partly true, then the Darkness isn't going anywhere, no matter what we do.
 * After the nightmarish scene of Jackie being mutilated with an electric drill by Shrote, seeing the drill break down and Shrote throwing a temper tantrum can be darkly hilarious. The muffled yell of "Chinese piece of shit!" sells it.
 * Johnny Powell can be a good source of these moments, especially when he's explaining the relics you've collected.

Hmmm... I wonder what's on TV tonight..."

"Jackie: I need some kind of weapon- don't matter what it is.
 * His description of the Lantern of Saint Anthony, claiming that it never worked properly because it was powered by the souls of children, "and children are fickle little bitches." For good measure, he notes just how many hapless travellers died because Saint Anthony thought that the lantern could guide them home, and because  thought that the imprisoned souls of murdered children would make a nifty weapon. "Yay!"
 * Noting that one infamous Darkness Host from the time of Moses was referred to as "a Dark Man who spoke with authority," and adding, "You know, like James Earl Jones."
 * Dolfo's counterpart in the Asylum, "Adolf," is good for a laugh. When Jackie first tries to escape the Asylum, he can be heard shouting, "Head for ze bunker! Tell Eva I will be late!"
 * And it happens yet again when Jackie has to ask him for help in finding weapons.

Adolf: Yes, yes, I have Panzer divisions, Messerschmits, battleships...

Jackie: No, Dolfo, I need something right here, right now- like a knife or a stick.

Adolf: Hmmm. We must start ze planning at once... get into ze janitor's closet. You will find what you need in zere. Advance in pincer formation until you get to Paris, unt don't speak to ze Bolsheviks! When you are done, I will help you again. For ze Fatherland! Czechoslovakia as a nation has ceased to exist!

Edward: Hey, calm down or you're going back to your room.

Adolf: Stalinist."


 * After the, you can find Butcher Joyce forcing parts of various corpses down the toilet.

The Darkness Comic
"Jackie (staggering away from the Magdalena): Come on boys, it's gonna be okay...nngh...just shake it off"
 * In the comics, whenever Jackie receives a Groin Attack

"Number One: those plastic strips on the inside of CD covers. I hate those fucking things. I mean are you selling me a Sinatra album or am I trying to break into Fort Friggin Knox, am I right?
 * From The Darkness /Pitt crossover has Jackie babysitting a young boy named Tim (Morality Pet and Person of Mass Destruction) and they watch The Godfather together... and Jackie gives him pointers on how he would have carried out the hit.
 * From that same arc: "Jackie Estacado's Big List of Things That Suck:"

Number Two: Mean people

Number Three: Those who are disrespectful to me and my family.

Number Four: Broccoli

Number Five: Circus midgets

Number Six: God

Number Seven: French People and Belgians, not necessarily in that order.

And this, *surrounded by alien zombies* this sucks."