Memetic Badass/Quotes

"Charles Nelson Reilly figured out cold fusion

But he never ever told a soul

I've seen the man unhinge his jaw

And swallow a Volkswagen whole

He'd bash your face in with a shovel

If you didn't treat him like a star

'Cause you can spit in the wind or tug on Superman's cape

But Lord knows you just don't mess around with CNR!"

- "Weird Al" Yankovic, CNR

"slowbeef: What the hell was that?

Diabeetus: I don't know, but Billy kicks ass.

slowbeef: It's hard not to like Billy."

- Retsupurae on Billy MC in-between sessions of mocking him.

""'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!' Sun Tzu said that, and I'd say he knows a little more about fighting than you do, pal, because he invented it! And then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor! Then, he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth. And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one!""

- The Soldier, Team Fortress 2, "Meet the Soldier"

""We like to imagine that as soon as Teddy returned to the U.S., he started breeding his own piranhas in an attempt to finally find an animal that could stand up to him in a fight. Like all other such attempts, this was doomed to failure from the start.""

- Rohan Ramakrishnan, Cracked, "The 6 Most Frequently Quoted Bullshit Animal Facts"

"J.B.: Pootie Tang will draw you a picture of how he gonna kick your ass, then mail it to you ten days in advance. The picture gets there right? You're goin', "What the hell is this?" and then Pootie Tang knocks on your door, promptly kicks your ass and you still won't know what happened to you!"

- Pootie Tang: Sine Your Pitty On Da Runny Kine

"So what would Brian Boitano do

If he were here today,

I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,

That's what Brian Boitano'd do."

- South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"

"Comment: Give Jackie Chan a weapon - any weapon - and the fight just becomes unfair.

Response: It'd be unfair in the first place. YOU'RE FIGHTING AGAINST JACKIE FOR FUCK'S SAKE."

- YouTube

""That's right motherfuckers! Now you KNOW why I'm awesome!" [Geno assumes Badass Arm-Fold]"

- Geno, after taking out a horde of Zombies in one of the alternate endings to Bowser's Kingdom episode 666

"Soldier 1: Who was that?

Soldier 2: Brock fuckin' Samson.

Soldier 1: No way! Dibs on his cigarette butt!"

- The Venture Brothers, "Home Insecurity"