Something Awful Dungeons and Dragons/Funny

"Time Traveller: Do you wish to ask me something?
 * The party's early encounter with the only adventurers in the world more incompetent than them, including a thief who claims to be stealing Kensington's suit and Miriam's book by touching them (without actually taking them), a crazy wizard who was revealed to be non-magical with an arcana check, and an armored man obsessed with tripping people.
 * Joey's complete inability to intimidate a magical door in the multi-dimensional caravan. Followed by the door intimidating him. Around the same time, the door greatly enjoys tossing around lightning at Joey and Bananaramawicz.
 * When the party encounters a powerful time-traveller (Represented in a rather odd pog)

Joey: Yeah, what's up with your FACE?!""

"Miriam: Can anyone read this?
 * Bananaramawicz tends to be full of them.

Banaramawicz: I know only Dwarven and Hebrew I'm afraid."

"Miriam: Goring Charge the walls of the pit!
 * Joey and Miriam's solution to Joey falling down a pit.

Joey: I was going to say the exact same thing!"

""I hate you all, I hate you all.""
 * When the party are in a room getting ready for an attack, and after lots of careful preparation, Kensington points his finger into the shape of a gun and leans against a wall...that's the whole plan.
 * The episode in Bonerton, ranging from Gibnaf leaving his family to the dance-off is just amazing.
 * Miriam shifting a book thief into a hell portal.
 * Note well that: the book thief was ripping pages out of the book, the first time there was an awkward silence as Minerelle stuttered in horror and Miriam hits the thief and turns invisible. The thief's turn is spent ripping more pages from the book, and you could hear Miriam hissing in rage. Due to the special rules in effect being ejected from the dance floor results in instant death, being thrown into a portal to hell without protection from a demon is instant death, the flames of hell without proper protection is instant death.
 * The DM's cries on a frequent basis when the party does something crazy.

"Kensington: Do me a favor and say "Where is she?"
 * During a filler episode, they take a trip to a space bar and put into a simulated battle against skeletons. Badly-rendered holographic skeletons. And Chuck.
 * Syrg finds a bottle of two-year-old expired energy drink in his desk. He drinks it all in one go and spends the entire rest of the session with the Batman voice.

Minerelle: Say "My parents are dead!""


 * Minerelle suggests using the bones of Dracolich to form a wagon. When they run out of bone, they decide to use wood. Kensington points out the phallic nature of the materials of their wagon, and thus, the Boner Wagon is born.
 * Inside a mansion that is playing pranks on the party they meet a cooking genie. He benevolently grants the wishes of Gibnaf and Algernon, while promising a wish to Joey. Joey makes his wish...which his dragon's(formerly monkey) paw dutifully grants. Turns out it was another prank to deplete one of the wishes on Joey's only friend
 * "We are five minutes into Paragon-tier and we've already murdered an innocent person."
 * In the second Focus Tower, the team spends the night in Apafi's safe room, using the Gametable program to draw their own quarters. At one point, Kensington's tent ends up as a massive castle, with Joey residing in his walls as a tax-paying subject. A second instance has Asalynn constructing a large bed, her teddy bear, and a television.
 * During the chess board fight with  mooks, Minerelle bribes some of the enemies with pancakes. However, her targets get sassy when they don't get their pancakes right away. This leads to the brilliant idea of making another enemy look like pancakes with an illusion to satisfy them.