Wilfred/Funny

"Wilfred: THUNDER!!!
 * US Wilfred. Spencer taunts Wilfred with a laser pointer, causing Wilfred to go into a slight frenzy and shout for the red dot to show itself. Cue the Indian women next door walking out asking what's going on. (Note: Yes, she's wearing a bindi.)
 * US Wilfred.

(Thunder roars.)

Ryan: How did you do that?!

Wilfred: LUCKY COINCIDENCE!!!"

""The puppet master is Bob Barker!""
 * Wilfred's conspiracy theory at the vet's office.

"Ryan: How many times do I have to tell you that money isn't real?
 * US Wilfred. During The Stinger of one episode, Wilfred and Ryan are playing Clue. When Ryan tells Wilfred he guessed the killer wrong, Wilfred flips the game over, and punches Ryan in the face.
 * He did the same thing with Monopoly because "he keeps it gangster".
 * Wilfred does not get monopoly money

Wilfred: Tell me one more time.

Ryan: That money isn't real

Wilfred: SHIT!"

""That man is no the real Magic Johnson. I died in 1992. That guy looks nothing like me"."
 * The stuffed giraffe from episode 7 turns out to like S&M.
 * Wilfred using Jenna's panties as a tea bag.
 * Wilfred killing a pelican.
 * Wilfred telling Ryan he poisoned him complete with Evil Laugh.
 * Ryan getting caught having sex with a stuffed giraffe toy.
 * Wilfred "possessed" by Ryan's old dog Sneakers.

""Sneakers is no one, huh? (holds out a collar) Do you usually buy priceless jewelry for no one? Imitation colored glass? Plastic painted to look like metal? This isn't some cheap made in China knockoff. This was made in Taiwan, you bastard!""
 * Wilfred and Ryan forming their own band.
 * Wittle Bethie Bunny just got a Bwazilian.
 * Wilfred finding out about Ryan's old dog Sneakers.