Go Figure



A Stock Phrase, usually uttered in an enervate or deadpan tone, tagged onto the end of a sentence to express that the situation described in the sentence is absurd, ridiculous, and/or ironic. Sort of like a verbal eyeroll. Much like "Whatever" and "So yeah", it's a conversation breaker, so it's typically found at the end of (or serving as) a punchline.

Notable for being the easiest way to lampshade anything, ever. "The Butler Did It? Go Figure."

Film
"American Soldier: I make anywhere between two and three thousand a month. A Halliburton employee out here driving a bus can make between eight and ten thousand a month. Explain that one to me. For 40 hours a week. Driving the same two-and-half-mile route. Go figure."
 * Fahrenheit 9/11

"Jon Arbuckle: Boy, you learn a dance and then zango, 14 years later, they change it.
 * Garfield Gets a Life (Made for TV Movie)

Garfield: Go figure."

"Max: Well go figure, I was just thinking to myself what ever happened to that Barry Cox?"
 * I Know What You Did Last Summer

"Comander (sic) X: They are apparently living organic metal structures... go figure!"
 * Intergalactic Combat

"Joe: Many of the fathers of the Constitution had slaves, but they wrote a document about freedom. Go figure!"
 * Liberty Stands Still

"Holly Kennedy: They have pills for rudeness?
 * P.S. I Love You

Daniel Connelly: I know...and they can't figure out the Middle East. Go figure."

"Lenny: [on Linda's birthday] I got you a $40,000 car and a $2 mutt. Go figure."
 * The Boost

"Yzma: [on Kuzco] Why, I practically raised him.
 * The Emperor's New Groove

Kronk: Yeah, you'd think he would've turned out better.

Yzma: Yeah, go figure."

"Alexis Meyers: What kind of job do you have?
 * Thursday

Grey Malcolm: I'm in sales. [snip] What about you? [snip]

Alexis: I'm in... sales.

Grey: Oh, like me. Go figure."

"Sam: Bought a car. Turned out to be an alien robot. Go figure."
 * Transformers

Live Action TV
"Montana Diaz Herrera: It's pouring outside. I didn't know it was going to rain today.
 * Back To You episode "Something's Up There"

Kelly Carr: You're the weather girl.

Montana: Yeah. Go figure."

"Jess: Yeah, women right, can't live with 'em, can't stop them from jumping in closets...go figure."
 * Gilmore Girls

"Jackson Stewart: Finally, they're gone. Dad, the next time you host a PTA meeting, you should do it out in the hot tub, so I can see Lilly's mom in a... [turns around to see Lilly's mom] ...in the kitchen. Hey, Mrs. T. [to his dad] Warn a guy!
 * Hannah Montana episode "Lilly's Mom Has Got It Goin' On"

Miley Stewart [to Lilly's mom]: And he doesn't have a girlfriend... go figure."

"Allison Dubois: A psychic with a bad memory. Go figure."
 * Medium

"Lois Lane: Go figure. I want the Red-Blue Blur, I get the exact opposite."
 * Smallville episode "Stiletto"

"Isaac: Someone holds the copyright to "Happy Birthday"?
 * Sports Night episode "Intellectual Property"

Dan Rydell: The representatives of Patty and Mildred Hill.

Isaac: Took two people to write that song?

Dan: Go figure."

"Steven Hyde: So did you bring everything?
 * That 70s Show

Leo: Yeah, I got everything... except the camera... and the film... yeah, I didn't bring anything.

Steven: Leo man, you work at a film center.

Leo: Yeah, go figure."

"Eddie Fairbanks: Yeah, birds flyin'. Go figure."
 * Two of a Kind

Video Games
"Scorpion: Somebody needs a thumping, 'cause I don't like being out of control!
 * Spider-Man: Friend or Foe

Spider-Man: And yet, when you're in control, you dress up like a scorpion and act crazy. Go figure."


 * The Argonian Mach-Na in Oblivion says this when explaining how she behaves like an Imperial but sympathises more with Dark Elves.

Western Animation
"Salem: I said if I could find Sabrina I'd be happy as a clam. Next thing I know, I'm a giant bivalve. Go figure."
 * Sabrina the Animated Series


 * Dot Warner shortens it to "go fig."

Other

 * This very wiki. Go figure.