Home Alone/Funny

Home Alone
"Movie: Who is it?
 * Angels with Filthy Souls, the fictional gangster movie from Home Alone - the sequel "Angels with Even Filthier Souls" as well. It's even funnier when Kevin uses against people (on a pizza delivery boy in the first, on the hotel crew in the sequel).
 * In the original:

Pizza boy: It's Little Nero's sir, I have your pizza.

Movie: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.

Pizza boy: Okay. [puts the pizza down] What about the money?

Movie: What money?

Pizza boy: [rolls eyes] Well, you have to pay for your pizza, sir.

Movie: Is that a fact? How much do I owe you?

[Kevin fast forwards the TV]

Pizza boy: That'll be $11.80, sir.

[Kevin pauses and puts the money through the dog door. Kevin un-pauses.]

Movie: Keep the change, you filthy animal.

Pizza boy: Cheapskate."

"Harry: Go check it out.
 * Harry tells Marv to check the house to see if anybody's there.

[Marv just sits there. Harry looks at him, waiting. Marv looks back at him.]

Marv: Now?

Harry: No, tomorrow egghead, NOW! Go ahead!"

"I'M GONNA KILL THAT KID!!!!"
 * Kevin does the same gangster movie gag on Harry and Marv, with the addition of firecrackers in a pan to make things a little more believable.
 * The traps Kevin set up for Harry and Marv:
 * Kevin shoots Harry's groin. Harry makes a squeaky little scream of pain.
 * Harry climbs the slippery stairs the first time and slips.
 * Marv steps on a nail, and then he screams in pain while grabbing his foot. Then he falls off the stairs.
 * Harry spits on his other hand to check if the door knob is safe. Satisfied, he opens the door and gets his head torched. After putting out the fire with snow, he runs back and kicks the door down.
 * Marv steps on the ornaments.

"Kevin: Are you guys giving up yet? Have you had enough pain?
 * Marv's reaction to suddenly getting a face full of tarantula, which is somewhere in the vicinity of "EEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
 * The ham-tastic way in which Marv delivered this response, suddenly straightening up, thrusting out his chest and putting his hands on his hips.

Marv: NEVER!"

"Marv: Yeah. Kids are scared of the dark.
 * After successfully bluffing his way passed a supermarket cashier, the bottoms of Kevin’s grocery bags burst open on his walk home, spilling his groceries onto the pavement.
 * Kevin having to face his fear of his basement furnace in the first movie by telling it to "Shut up." and it does.
 * The following:

Harry: You're afraid of the dark too, Marv. You know you are."


 * Buzz screaming at the end "KEVIN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM?!?!"
 * Buzz implying to Kevin that he ate the last cheese pizza and that if he wants any somebody's gonna have to barf it up. He then tells Kevin to get a plate so he can throw some up for him and Kevin attacks him causing chaos in the kitchen.
 * Kevin telling Santa he wants his family back for Christmas and names all the family members he wants back finally saying that if Santa has time he'd also like his rude Uncle Frank back as well.
 * Marv sticking his head through the doggy door and into the barrel of a BB gun. He does the smile equivalent of an Oh Crap.

Home Alone 2
"Movie: Get down on your knees and tell me you love me.
 * When Kevin tricks the hotel staff into thinking they are facing a mobster with a gun, which is actually a movie.

Tim Curry: I love you!

Movie: You gotta do better than that!

Hotel Staff: I love you!"

"Recorded Uncle Frank: Get out of here, you nosy little pervert, before I slap you silly!
 * "Suck brick, kid!"
 * The exchange with the concierge (played by Tim Curry of course) and Kevin operating the shower. Kevin has rigged up the inflatable Bozo to silhouette behind the shower curtain, making it out to be his dad. He's playing the recording of Uncle Frank singing "Cool Jerk" by the Capitols on the Talkboy that he recorded near the beginning of the film. The concierge walks in and is standing in disbelief when Kevin turns the inflated Bozo and this exchange, complete with gestures, occurs:

Tim Curry: [some sort of anguished cry] *runs out of the bathroom*

Recorded Uncle Frank: Oh, we're cooking, Frankie!

Tim Curry: *hits and knocks over endtable* Oof! *replaces endtable and runs out of the room*"

"Kevin's mom: "What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?"
 * This becomes especially funny when you consider one of Tim Curry 's earlier roles...
 * When Harry and Marv first spot Kevin and surprise him on a crowded New York street. Kevin's initial response? To scream as loudly as possible.
 * "That was the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs."
 * Marv falls into the basement through a huge hole Kevin cut in the floor. He stands up and wrenches his back so that he's staring straight up, and declares "Wow, what a hole!"
 * Kevin throwing down bricks at the bandits, hitting Marv each and every time.
 * Marv's unexpected encounter with an electrified sink. Cue frantic screaming that gradually increases in pitch the longer it goes on, and his brief transformation into a screaming skeleton. Röntgen would not approve.
 * Near the end of the movie we have this gem between Kevin's mom and one of the hotel employees

Hotel Employee "The boy had a very convincing story."

Kevin's mom: (angrily) "What kind of idiots do you have working here?"

Hotel Employee: (proudly) "The finest in New York.""

""Give this to Kevin." *passes bag to next person* "Give this to Kevin", "Give this to Kevin", etc, "Here you go Kevin". *Beat, passes bag back* "Kevin's not here" "Kevin's not here"..."
 * At the bag exchange, though it crosses into Overly Long Gag.

"Marv: [While he and Harry are lying on the floor afterward] That's...three.
 * Harry unknowingly lights his own head on fire with a light cord that Kevin rigged up to a blowtorch. He inexplicably starts casually walking around the room--despite being able to tell Kevin's not there--for a few seconds before noticing his head is on fire only by looking in the mirror. He panics and after realizing that the sink faucets don't work because the plumbing is busted he does a handstand on the rim of the toilet not knowing that the liquid in the toilet is actually kerosene that Kevin poured in there. The resulting explosion blows up the entire first floor of the house but miraculously Harry survives with only a singed scalp and some soot on his face and teeth.
 * Marv looking like a Death Metal version of Ronald McDonald after getting hit with a bag of cement mix.
 * Marv and Harry both hamming it up as they try to fake Kevin out by pretending to get hit with the paint cans, having anticipated that he would try this, while Harry counts them off. They do not expect the lead pipe that knocks them down a moment later:

[Kevin cuts the string holding a big metal pipe, causing it to roll down the stairs.]

Harry: No!

[The pipe hits them again.]

Marv: That's...four!"

"Buzz: Oh, dad...
 * At the end, Kevin is wishing the pigeon lady a Merry Christmas, while Buzz gets Kevin's hotel bill;

(Cut to outside)

Kevin's dad: KEVIN! YOU SPENT 967 DOLLARS ON ROOM SERVICE?!"