Sixteen/Characters



""I'm the top scorer on the varsity hockey team and I speak fluent Spanish, but chicks are my speciality. some might call me a slacker. personally, I think I'm just too free-spirited to tie myself down with things like jobs, or homework, or a committed relationship. gotta play the field, dude!""

Jonesy's a popular, good-looking, confident and loyal guy. He's the social director of the group, but he's not the most responsible guy; in fact, he's got a knack for getting fired from EVERY job he manages to land at the mall. His interests can be summed up in two words: HOCKEY and CHICKS! He's a popular, pathologically confident, good-looking guy who gets invited to all the parties and who's probably going peak in High School. But for someone who's so totally into chasing girls he's got a pretty low success rate with the ladies. There's one lady who's totally got his number, though, and that's Nikki. Jonesy loves to spar with her and their love/hate relationship could turn into romance one day. If they don't kill each other first...

Jonesy is lazy (even lazier than Wayne), smug, and persistent. He enjoys sports, chasing after beautiful women, and formulating get-rich-quick schemes, but is also prone to deviousness, arrogance, selfishness, male chauvinism, bragging, and dishonesty (nowhere near as dishonest as Tricia), though he cares deeply for his friends and puts their needs before his own. This implies that he is nowhere near as selfish as Tricia. Rather impressionable, he is easily fooled, like when his friends scared him out of skydiving with their stories of jumps gone awry. Jonesy also thinks that he can speak Spanish fluently, although his Spanish is poor according to Nikki and thinks that 47 is the answer to everything.


 * Afraid of Blood
 * Badass Spaniard
 * Chick Magnet
 * Even the Guys Want Him: The Gay Cowboy!
 * Flirty Stepsiblings: With Jen.
 * George Jetson Job Security
 * Heterosexual Life Partner: With Jude.
 * High School Hustler
 * Jerk Jock
 * Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Yes, he can be pretty obnoxious, but all of his pranks are in good fun and he does have a soft side (for evidence, look no further than "Snow Job").
 * Kidanova
 * The Lancer
 * Loveable Sex Maniac
 * The McCoy
 * Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Manly Man to Wyatt's Sensitive Guy.
 * Slap Slap Kiss: With Nikki.
 * Takahashi Couple: Again, with Nikki.
 * Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs?: Jonesy, out of plain irresponsibility, can never get a solid job for more than one episode.
 * You Gotta Have Blue Hair



""i'm a proud member of the Mall's Most Wanted list and i'm a man of few words, dude.""

Jude is into living life large. If it's extreme, he's done it or it's on his to-do list. He's always positive and mellow and his laid-back attitude is totally contagious, the perfect combo of cool, sweet and strangely confident. Jude has a super-short attention span and he'll often check out of a conversation because he's bored. The only things he takes seriously are his friends, skateboarding and his job at Stick It, where you can get different food on a stick every day. He's pretty certain this was the job he was born to have, and he doesn't want to mess it up. For some reason, Jude is the one who everyone trusts with their secrets...even though he's not very good at keeping them.

Jude is easily excited and unpredictable. On the surface, he does not appear to take anything seriously, but finds unique ways of dealing with everyday problems. He tends to approach things at a slow, suitable pace, and gives names to inanimate objects that he cherishes, such as his skateboard, "Sally". Jonesy describes him as one who "takes weird to a whole new level".

While speaking to people, Jude usually addresses them as "dude" or "bro" in reference to males, and "dudette" or "bra" in reference to females or calling everyone as a whole "dudes". He exhibits Type B personality


 * Attractive Bent Gender: Jonesy has more than once (unknowingly) hit on Jude when the latter disguises as a girl.
 * Beyond the Impossible: He can get a tan from the mall's florescent lights. His explaination: "The key to a good va-cay is all in the mind."
 * Blue Eyes
 * Cloudcuckoolander
 * The Ditz
 * Dumb Blonde
 * Erudite Stoner: He's like a teenaged version of The Dude.
 * Groin Attack: He has been hit, punched or kicked in the crotch more than any other male on the show.
 * Hair of Gold
 * The Hero
 * The only white guy.
 * Heterosexual Life Partners: With Jonesy.
 * Informed Judaism
 * The Kirk
 * Love Hurts: His eventual Star-Crossed Lovers relationship with Starr.
 * Also, when he finds out that his mysterious Australian caller has a boyfriend.
 * Nice Hat
 * Skater Dude
 * Sue Donym: Has a handful of disguises that pop up the series every now and then.
 * Too Dumb to Live
 * Verbal Tic
 * Verbal Tic



""I've been playing the guitar since the fourth grade, and some day I'll go big with my music. Actually, I've been told I'm the next Alanis Morissette. I'm not sure how I feel about that.""

Wyatt's the true definition of an old soul. He sees house parties and making out in the movie theatre as strictly "for the cretins." He'd much rather do something cultural. He doesn't mind being different or uncool. He knows his day will come in a few years, when he's in college he'll be the man. Wyatt can play any song on request on his guitar. Wyatt's more well read than his pals, and since he's the 'smart' one, he should know better than to get involved in Jonesy's schemes. But, unfortunately, he's easily talked into anything Jonesy proposes because deep down he totally admires him. Wyatt works at the mall's music store in worst section possible: country music. He doesn't mind all that much, though, because he's totally crushing on his boss, Serena... who's 18! He doesn't love his job but at least he gets discounts on new releases.

Wyatt is the typical "nice guy". He has trouble talking to women he finds himself attracted to without the assistance of his friends, and believes in luck.

Wyatt is dependent on coffee, and is easily irritated without caffeine in his system. Wyatt also likes to eat sushi even though his friends are disgusted by it. He is also acrophobic (scared of heights) as shown in The Swami episode.


 * Alliterative Name
 * Black and Nerdy
 * Birds of a Feather: With Marlowe.
 * Black Best Friend
 * Bookworm: Among his friends, he's the most wellread.
 * Butt Monkey: Comes with being the Only Sane Man in a sitcom.
 * Curtains Match the Window
 * Dogged Nice Guy
 * Love Hurts: His break up with Serena in "Going Underground".
 * Must Have Caffeine
 * Neat Freak: One episode involved the guys trying to get him to loosen up.
 * Only Sane Man: Literally the most normal guy of the gang.
 * Second Love: Marlowe
 * Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Sensitive Guy to Jonsey's Manly Man.
 * The Smart Guy
 * The Spock
 * Straight Man



""I can't stand people who just follow the crowd. Some might call me "no-nonsense." I'd just call it a complete inability to put up with stupidity.""

Nikki's a total original with a punk rock edge. She hates everything about "The Clones", the girls she works with at the Khaki Barn who look alike, dress alike and talk alike--but most of all she hates that she's stuck working with them. She wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything sold at The Khaki Barn, and she's not easily sucked into trends. Nikki's plan is to graduate and travel the world, then settle down someplace far away from a suburban mall. Nikki's the reality check for all of her friends, especially Jonesy, but sometimes she just can't decide if she loves him or hates him.

Nikki can be grumpy and she is usually the most sensible among her friends, and is highly individualistic, which puts her at odds with the Khaki Barn's rules and regulations, as the store's philosophy states that individualism is overrated. Often, she will skip out on her duties at work and criticize others for their lack of personal style. Due to corporate brainwashing, she briefly started acting like the Clones after being declared Employee of the Month, but promptly reverted to her former self with the help of her friends. She is also very smart. She dreams of becoming a travel writer.


 * Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Nikki finds her parents embarrassing, as they wear clothes from the 1970s.
 * Beauty, Brains, and Brawn: The Brawn.
 * The Big Girl
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: The Brunette.
 * Deadpan Snarker
 * Foot Focus
 * Grumpy Bear
 * Only Sane Woman
 * The Slacker: Doesn't help at all that she hates her job.
 * Slap Slap Kiss: With Jonesy.
 * The Snark Knight
 * Takahashi Couple: With Jonesy.
 * The Three Faces of Eve: The Seductress.
 * Tsurime Eyes: Emphasized by her purple eyelashes.
 * You Gotta Have Purple Hair



""Sometimes I think I'm the only responsible person... on Earth. I love sport, and some day I'll be Olympic snowboarder. That is, if I can ever get out of the Penalty Box. But I don't think they could run the place without me, so I guess I'll be there forever. So... yeah.""

Jen's a super-sweet, responsible, determined girl who just happens to be a total tomboy. Jen's known for her ability to beat almost any guy in almost any sport and she's destined to become an Olympic snowboarding champ one day. Jen's the planner of the group and her sports experience makes her a natural born leader and coach. She's quick to offer tips to her pals...even when they don't ask for them. One person who does look up to Jen and takes her advice very seriously is Caitlin, who just happens to be training to fill Jen's old gig at The Big Squeeze.

Jen had a crush on Jonesy in the 7th grade, and she had also dreamed about the two of them kissing. This was revealed in the episode "The Journal". However, this has changed now that Jonesy is Jen's stepbrother. Because she works at a place that sell sports equipment and has an interest in sports (mainly soccer and snowboarding), Ron the "Rent-a-Cop" gave her the nickname "Gym Sock".

Jen is responsible, admirable, and committed. She enjoys sports, fantasizing about attractive boys who Willy bills, and planning for the future, but is also prone to nosiness and has a quick temper, traits which have led her friends to regard her as a control freak.


 * Author Appeal
 * Beauty, Brains, and Brawn: The Brains.
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: The Redhead.
 * Bi the Way: Implied.
 * Butt Monkey: A thoroughly beleaguered employee and frequently exposed (in more than one way).
 * Control Freak
 * Cool Big Sis: Though her methods don't always work out.
 * Flirty Stepsiblings: With Jonesy.
 * The Heart
 * Hey, It's That Voice!: I didn't know Gwen worked at the Penalty Box...
 * Naked People Are Funny: Not often, but crops up in a few episodes.
 * Purple Eyes: A somewhat vague lavender.
 * Secret Diary
 * Shower of Awkward
 * The Three Faces of Eve: The Mother.
 * Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Caitlin's Girly Girl.



""I have a lot to offer: My talent with accessories, my "Best Mushy Girl Movies of All Time" DVD collection, my encyclopedic knowledge of all the different shades of pink nail polish... It's like, so unfair that I'm stuck making smoothies!!""

Caitlin's a new addition to the tight group of friends. She's spoiled, but she's also sweet, and her friends can't help but love her even though she can be pretty clueless. Caitlin's a girlie-girl to the core, and she's totally boy-crazy to boot. Unfortunately, if a cute guy even LOOKS in her direction, she's bound to do something entirely embarrassing! Caitlin is better equipped to shop at the mall than she is to work at it. Unfortunately, her 'rents have forced her to find a part-time gig in an effort to teach her the value of money. She's convinced they'll let her off the hook and give her back her credit card any day now, though...

Caitlin is a shopaholic. She enjoys keeping up with new trends and dating attractive males, but is prone to weakness, distraction, jealousy, and competition. Occasionally, she can be self-centered and shallow (personality traits she has denied having). She describes herself as a "slave to fashion" and a "high maintenance menace", and regards teen magazines as bibles for women. She loves her friends, although she is almost always ready to stand them up for a good sale.


 * Alliterative Name
 * Beauty, Brains, and Brawn: The Beauty.
 * Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Averted; her mascara always runs when she starts bawling.
 * Blonde, Brunette, Redhead: The Blonde.
 * The Chick
 * Credit Card Plot: Caitlin's origin story and recurring weakness.
 * Cute but Cacophonic: Largely averted with her normal speaking voice, but played straight whenever she screams.
 * Cute Clumsy Girl: Especially when she's around a guy she likes.
 * Dumb Blonde: More naive than really dumb, though.
 * Hair Decorations: Her pink butterfly clip.
 * Feigning Intelligence
 * Genki Girl: Think of a non-magical Usagi Tsukino.
 * Genius Ditz
 * Green Eyes
 * Hair of Gold
 * In Love with Love
 * Pink Means Feminine
 * Sixth Ranger: Joins the well-established group, making it officially six teens.
 * Spoiled Sweet
 * Stalker with a Crush: Sometimes crosses into this.
 * Sweet Tooth: Chocolate is one of her weaknesses.
 * The Three Faces of Eve: The Child.
 * Tomboy and Girly Girl: Girly Girl to Jen and Nikki's Tomboys.
 * Valley Girl
 * Your Makeup Is Running: Anytime she cries.



Coach Halder (voiced by Jamie Watson) is the owner of the "Penalty Box" sports utility shop and Jen's boss throughout the series. He is a tall muscular, retired football player. Much like Ron and Wayne, Coach Halder despises Jonesy, due to his constant messing around in his store. He runs the store with extremely strict rules, such as the usage of the literal "penalty box", an Ice Hockey penalty box in the store to which he sends his employees (and sometimes his customers) for a time out when they make an infraction in his store, depending on his rules. However, Halder is shown to love pranks and Halloween, and at several points his behavior is considered to be obnoxious by both his employees and others, including customers (on one occasion he scared his customers so badly that the paramedics were called in twice). Coach Halder is extremely strict with Jen, due to her being his only employee who didn't quit after the first year working for him. He constantly sends her to the penalty box for ridiculous reasons such as displaying affection or love during work hours.


 * Jerk Jock



Ron is the mall's security cop, whose appearance and mannerisms bear a striking similarity to Christopher Walken. He is one of the show's possible antagonists, being a major enemy to Jonesy and Jude, since he constantly tries to thwart their pranks and scams. Ron rules the mall with an iron fist by punishing teens hanging out or working in it for the most ridiculous actions. Despite his age and experience, Ron, ironically, doesn't know what a Fascist is. Ron has a severe hatred for teenagers, especially for the gang, considering them the "biggest threat to mall security in all history of threats to mall security". He hires Kai, then he fires him on "The New Guy." He is a Vietnam War Veteran (which brings his nationality into question, as Canada was not involved in that conflict) and is seen to have several sudden flashbacks of his days in the war in the least expected moments, something which has become a running gag throughout the series. He has codenames for each member of the gang: Caitlin being "Cupcake", Nikki being "Nose Ring", Wyatt being "Coffee Pot", Jen being "Gym Sock", Jude being "Hang Ten" and Jonesy being "Maverick". In turn, he is known by most people, notably the 6 main stars, as "Ron the Rent-a-Cop". Taking this all into consideration, he apparently suffers from posttraumatic stress disorder. However, despite his hatred for teens, Ron seems to share a bond or sort of friendship with Jude, since at one point during the show, both of them got hooked on a soap opera that they would watch together in Ron's office. Ironically enough, Jonesy, Jude and Wyatt discover in the episode "Life Slaver" that Ron used to be a rebellious troublemaker/prankster in the mall during the 70's.


 * Badass
 * The Comically Serious
 * Former Teen Rebel
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed
 * The Stoic



Wayne (voiced by Adam Reid) is the manager (and later owner) of "Underground Video", a video rental store which specializes in independent films. First introduced in episode "Going Underground", Wayne is a sarcastic, cynical, sardonic, and pessimistic know-it-all who only befriends people whom he considers have knowledge of cinematography close to or equal to his own. Because of these standards, out of the gang, Wayne really only befriends Jude. Wayne hates Jonesy and everything that Jonesy likes (therefore capable of becoming a superhero), especially the film "Top M16" (a play on Top Gun). Jude and Wyatt found themselves working for Wayne in the episode "Going Underground" after Wyatt was fired from "Spin This", while Jude's stand "Stick-It" was closed by the health inspector (see above for more information). Despite being short and overweight, Wayne is shown to be somewhat physically strong, since in episode "Dirty Work" he beats up Jonesy for stealing his fries, and in "Career Day", he dunks Wyatt and Jude in the pet store aquarium for ruining his "The 77th Samurai" limited edition tape. He is constantly heard listening to The Clash on his headphones. After years of watching movies, Wayne has gained the ability to somehow know which movie a person should see.


 * Deadpan Snarker
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed



The Clones are coworkers of Nikki Wong at the Khaki Barn clothing store, where Chrissy is an assistant manager while Kirsten and Kristen are sales associates. Nikki nicknamed the three girls The Clones because, except for their hairstyles, all three look, sound and act alike, fit right into the teenybopper stereotype (including not acting very smart, religiously following the latest teen trends and fads and frequently chatting about them mindlessly to Nikki's annoyance) and believe that individualism is overrated and conformity is the way to go for them and everyone else, making them the direct opposites of Nikki. Kirsten and Kristen are normally bossed around and told everything to do by Chrissy to the point that when Chrissy is away and can't boss them around, they seek Nikki as their new role model/leader. As a reflection of their gabby and gossipy natures, all three Clones are also physically depicted with big, wide mouths and comparatively thinner jaws than other characters on the show.

The Clones do not like Nikki very much and are often intimidated by her (and sometimes even scared of her), and Nikki thinks very little of The Clones' personalities and does all she can not to fit the Khaki Barn's mold (although Chrissy nearly succeeded once in turning Nikki into a Clone in "Employee of the Month" by using reverse psychology), but The Clones do not seem to mind having Nikki around at work because her lack of motivation to make sales means more for them.


 * Dumb Blondes
 * Expies: Of the Bimbettes.
 * Geek: Chrissy shows occasional signs of being a closet case.
 * Squee
 * Theme Twin Naming



Darth is that freaky nead that appears in every high school who knows waaaay too much about The Force and owns The Jedi's Guide to Life.

Darth works at The Stereo Shack and carries a light saber to the job with him. He may well be the next aerospace engineer at NASA, but as far as his career as a teen goes, he's an utter social disaster.

For a long time, Darth had a hopeless crush on Nikki... but would pretty much date just about any girl who asked. Darth also had a deep seeded hatred for Jonesy who teased him in junior school.

These days, Darth is dating Julie the "Taco Girl", his soul mate. He is known to help out the 6 teens in an emergency, and is known as the guy the gang goes to when they need some techno chaos (like having Darth set off all the alarms in the mall).


 * Geek
 * Hollywood Nerd
 * Nerd Glasses
 * Second Love: To Julie, his first crush on Nikki.
 * Shout-Out: a Star Wars fanboy.
 * Techno Wizard



Starr was once the laid back employee of "Vegan Island", a dedicated vegetarian who loved extreme sports, relaxing, and yoga.

Jude and Starr met after Jude's difficult break-up with a computerized armchair, but didn't have a first formal date until Jude and Starr discovered they both enjoyed watching fountain diving.

After a disastrous first date (Jude threw up in Starr's mouth), it took months for Star to forgive him (and even longer for Jude to work up the courage to ask her out again).

Starr transformed into a goth in the episode "Lights Out" and while Jude tried to change with her, ultimately Starr (who decided she wanted to be called Nebula) broke up with Jude because she wanted to go her own way.


 * Does Not Like Shoes: Though she does wear sandals.
 * Granola Girl
 * Love Hurts: Her eventual Star-Crossed Lovers relationship with Jude.
 * Rollerblade Good



Tricia is your typical high school "popular" girl. She has all the finest clothes, dates all the "popular" guys, and would NEVER be caught dead working in the mall!

Tricia was once best friends with Caitlin... until Caitlin's dad took Caitlin's credit card away. When Caitlin was forced to get a job, Tricia decided she wanted nothing to do with Caitlin and abandoned their friendship.

Tricia now spends her time shopping with her "new" friends and taking every opportunity to humiliate Caitlin and our gang of 6 (who she also considers too unpopular to be worth her time) at the lemon.


 * Alpha Bitch
 * The Psycho Rangers: She leads another six teen clique. They took over the gang's regular table in an episode.
 * Smug Snake



Serena is a high school senior at the same school as the rest of the gang. She manages "Spin This!" a music store at the mall.

While Wyatt was working at the same music store, he had a serious crush on Serena. She wasn't interested in him though, because he wasn't "mature" enough for her.

Eventually Wyatt convinced Serena to go out with him, and things went well for a while, until...

Serena dumped Wyatt, in a text message! She decided Wyatt was TOO serious about the relationship, and didn't have the guts to tell him face to face.

She is now dating Chad, one of her co-workers at the music store, and Wyatt had a VERY tough time getting over her.


 * Tsundere



Marlowe is a member of Wyatt's band, and he had a huge crush on her. It took Wyatt a very long time to work up the courage to ask her out, and eventually wrote a song (which she accidently heard) that brought the two of them together.

Marlowe has a great deal of patience, and is very accepting and supportive of Wyatt's crazy adventures with the rest of the gang (like the time the guys had a "man off" to see who smelled the best after a week with washing any part of their bodies).

Even when Wyatt got the whole band in trouble by signing a contract with Burger McFlipsters corporate office, Marlowe still supported him, staying with him when the band wanted him gone.


 * Birds of a Feather: With Wyatt.
 * Redheaded Hero



Mother of the young mall terror Stanley, the Yummy Mummy is a major flirt, teasing the men and women of the mall (Jonesy in particular).

She spends a fair amount of time at the mall, and when she isn't stressing out about her wild son, you can see her shopping just about everywhere.

Yummy Mummy doesn't appear to be a afraid of anything, she even taken on Jonesy in a wresting ring (yes, she lost, but in all fairness, Jonesy was cheating...).


 * Beauty Mark
 * Hot Mom
 * Stacy's Mom
 * Only Known by Their Nickname



Julie works at Wonder Taco in the mall can most often be seen wearing a giant hard shell taco hat on her head. Julie has no patience for rude customers, and will happily spit in anyone's food if they bug her on the job.

Julie has the bad luck of having a giant retainer on at all times, making it hard to see when she's happy, as the whole rig keeps he mouth forced open all the time.

Julie has had a secret crush on Darth for a very long time, but she finally managed to get Darth to notice her, and the two of them have been fairly happy together ever since.

Julie is able to convince Darth to help out our gang of teens, she is more sympathetic to their problems than Darth is.


 * Braces of Orthodontic Overkill
 * Nice Hat



Jen's big sister Courtney has always been the popular one, the fun one, and the successful one.

Courtney is a pro shopper, a top basketball player and loved by everyone (especically Jude, Wyatt, and Jonesy) except her little sister Jen, who is very jealous and angry at her big sis.

Courtney also has a way of getting our gang into trouble. Aside from telling embarassing stories about Jen, she convinced the gang to get fake IDs and sneak into a night club in the mall.

Courtney has a secret though, she's a college dropout, jealous of Jen because she's their mom and dad's favorite.

Recently Courtney and Jen have banded together to defend themselves from their new stepbrothers, and they are much closer as sisters and friends.


 * Cool Big Sis
 * Easily Forgiven
 * Trickster Archetype



Lydia is simply crazy. At one time she dated Jonesy, but she was so very VERY clingy that she terrified him and his friends.

Lydia once brought Jonesy an anatomically correct model of her heart to show him how much she loved him (it was very gross), but she couldn't make him a model of her soul (because souls are invisible).

When Jonesy broke up with her, she still followed him around "just because we aren't dating anymore doesn't mean we can't go out, right?"

More recently, Lydia has become even more crazy (if that's even possible), chasing after Wyatt confusing Wyatt with Wayne, and giving out model roosters to the ones she loves. The gang sometimes calls her the "Crazy Chicken Lady". Oh, and she still isn't quite over Jonesy yet.

Lydia has some scary eye twitches when she is confused, and pretty much everyone knows to run when she comes near.


 * Clingy Jealous Girl
 * Fiery Redhead
 * In Love with Love
 * Stalker with a Crush
 * Stalking Is Love
 * Strange Girl
 * Yandere