South Park/WMG

The longer it takes for Kenny to die, the longer it takes for him to come back

 * This would explain why after long illnesses, such as when he had muscular dystrophy, it took him an entire season before he was able to come back. Also, in Ring when he died of syphilis he was gone long enough for them to have a funeral, rather than him just being reborn the next day. Whereas with fast violent deaths he generally seems to come back much faster, as shown many times, but notably in the Coon saga, where he had multiple returns over the course of the story arc.

Magic: The Gathering alignments

 * Stan started as Green/Black, with switching to Blue/Black (or pure Black) lately because of the emphasis on his resistance to fads and cults, which kinda highlights his intelligence and individuality.
 * Kyle is White/Red, with either colour being more prominent depending on how the episode plays.
 * Cartman is White/Black, because he is a selfish bastard with Knight Templar tendencies.
 * Alternative option is Blue/Black because he has a tendency to use everyone around him as a pawn to achieve his selfish desires. This color combo is better given his motivations.
 * Kenny is Red/Black.
 * Butters is Green/White.
 * Mrs/Mr Garrison switches between Blue/Red and White/Green depending on whereas his bigoted point of view or his sexual depravity are focused on.
 * Randy Marsh was originally Blue, then became Red/Green in latter seasons. It is implied that his mindless state is a facade, however, which means he probably only does that to have fun, so he is probably still Blue.
 * Sheila Broflovski is like her son, only that in earlier seasons both Red and White were well emphasized thanks to her near constant state of zealotry.

Character Alignment based on Season 5 onward

 * Stan: True Neutral -> Chaotic Neutral.
 * He's the everyman who really doesn't feel too strongly about most things going on around him. He plays a mostly observational role and isn't inclined to react to the situations around him. He's just not really driven by a whole lot and while he has a conscience, he doesn't share Kyle's self righteous morality or always condemn Cartman's latest scheme. This is of course out the window the moment animals become involved in which he ends up a very fierce Chaotic Neutral.
 * Cartman: Neutral Evil with Lawful Tendencies
 * Entirely driven on accomplishing whatever whim he desires at a given moment. He's hardly above breaking the law and playing everyone off as his pawns, but he's a Manipulative Bastard who is willing to use and exploit the letter of the law to his benefit. Of course, that's only when it is convenient, much like anything else with this Fat Bastard.
 * Kenny: Chaotic Neutral with a Chaotic Good alterego.
 * He's The Hedonist with a near obsession with tits and drugs as reflected in his much cruder language. While less common in much more recent seasons, he's the most likely of the main boys to side with Cartman.
 * Kyle: Corruptible Neutral Good
 * He has possibly the strongest morals of any of the boys and can be pretty damn self righteous about it. He does question rules, laws and traditions when they conflict with his own internal logic but otherwise is much less prone to rule breaking than his friends. Just as prone as the other boys though when a get rich quick scheme opportunity arises and his efforts to thwart anything Cartman does is bordering on He Who Fights Monsters territory.
 * Butters: Naive Lawful Good
 * Makes a great show of following the rules, mostly out of fear, but is just about always pure in his intentions. Even his attempt at making an evil alter ego isn't even particularly Chaotic. Of course, this often can go the Stupid Good route when Butters is inadvertently led along by Cartman and gets caught up in schemes.
 * Randy: Chaotic Neutral veering toward Chaotic Stupid. Who are we kidding- he went that route long ago to the point of somewhat breaking the base.
 * Heavy on the chaos and entirely oblivious of it.
 * Ike: Chaotic Neutral
 * Thinks his entire town consists of morons (not that he's wrong) excepting perhaps his brother. Thinks middle class life is monotonous, leading to such things as aiding a diamond heist and hightailing it to Somalia to engage in some good olf fashioned piracy. Oh, he's also lost his virginity and dropped acid before reaching '4'.
 * Sheila: Knight Templar version of Lawful Good
 * While mellowed out from the earliest seasons, she's still pretty much your stereotypical Moral Guardian Jewish Mother. When the laws can't be used for her crusade, she's often the first one out to try to change it.
 * Craig: True Neutral
 * Of the I don't give a fuck category. While he gets in trouble plenty, he actually values his nice bring and normal life and doesn't like to get mixed in with others' bull. This is particularly true for the protagonists and their tendency to be a Weirdness Magnet within their town.
 * Wendy: Lawful Neutral
 * Usually has good intentions and a champion for typical liberal 'good' causes, but a pretty massive jealous and petty streak. She's not above underhanded methods, particularly when she can take Cartman down a peg or two.

Cartman is the God-Emperor of Mankind.
Not only is he enough of a Magnificent Bastard to pull off something like uniting the galaxy, but his theories, no matter how crazy or unlikely, tend to be true! He must have quite the Warp-presence to be able to do things like that!
 * So, which Chaos god smote him in that "Human centiPad episode"?

Timmy is aware his world is a TV show.
"Living a Lie!"

Scott opened his Box of Faith early.
This was why all the other Canadians started calling him a dick.

Mr. Garrison is telekinetic, and suffering from split-personality disorder.
Well, it would definitely explain the whole Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig fiasco. Both are, in fact, effectively extensions of Mr. Garrison's personality, but he subconsciously animates them with his powers, explaining how Mr. Hat was able to move around independently in the episodes "Summer Sucks" and "Chef Aid", and why, in the latter episode, he was capable of driving a car (and freeing Chef and Garrison from jail, no less) without being physically able to push the gas pedal.
 * His psychic powers peaked in the later seasons, which means that Mr. Slave is in fact a physical manifestation of Mr. Garrison's deep subconscious. This would also explain Mr. Garrison's decision to be a woman. Now that his inner desires had separated from him, he no longer felt like himself and decided to have a sex change.
 * Of course, this didn't last. Mrs. Garrison quickly became a lesbian. And sometime off-screen, she may have created a lesbian version of Mr. Slave only to dump her and decide to become a man again.
 * Upon realizing he is still a he inside, and confronted with this reality, Garrison reverts to being a male.
 * The real reason why Mr. Hat disappeared after Mr. Garrison hired Mr. Slave is because Mr. Hat actually morphed into Mr. Slave as a result of Mr. Garrison's initial decision to open up as being camp gay.

Kenny's family is filthy rich.

 * They obviously put a life insurance policy on their son for a huge amount of money, he dies, they're the beneficiary, he comes back, rinse, repeat.
 * That's probably why their house is so gritty but Kenny is spoiled like any other average kids.
 * And the fact they have fickin' robot guards.
 * And the fact that Kenny was a robot for Halloween once.

Eric Cartman most probably thinks that Kyle's family is filthy rich.

 * Well, they are the most well-off of the four boys' families. And if Kyle's dad still has half the money from the school lawsuit episode...
 * No, according to the Indian casino episode, Mr. Broslovski has a compulsive gambling problem. Although Cartman wouldn't let that interfere with his fervent embrace of every anti-Semitic stereotype.
 * It's been played back and forth quite a bit with general tendency toward them being upper-middle class. Mrs. Broflovski likely wears the pants in the house and manages to shove enough money aside to keep Gerald from ruining them.
 * Kyle's dad being an Otherkin--who fulfills his dream of becoming like Flipper--might have diverted him from the "fast track" at the office.
 * Well of course Cartman thinks Kyle's family is rich, they're Jewish after all and we know what Eric thinks of Jews.

Mrs. Broflovski is Cartman's biological mother; Kyle is his half or full brother.
This would explain why, in "Cherokee Hair Tampons," Cartman and Kyle have the same rare blood type.
 * And as Judaism traditionally is transmitted in the female line, discovering that he is Jewish would destroy Cartman's racist, fragile little mind.
 * Not really. Kyle already tricked Cartman once into thinking he was a member of a minority group Cartman despises (in this case, gingers); all it did was shift his hatred onto everyone else, and motivate him to whip his fellow gingers into a genocidal frenzy. Cartman is a spoiled rotten psychopath incapable of having a loving, non-abusive relationship with anybody, and discovering his Jewish heritage wouldn't change that a single iota.
 * This makes even more sense when you think about it. Cartman is a big fan of Hitler. There are long-lasting rumors that Hitler was of Jewish descent, and he concealed his origins for fear of this being true. So Cartman could be following in his idol's footsteps. Neat.
 * This troper always believe that. Especially since the ending of "Cartman's Mom Is Still A Dirty Slut".
 * So has This Troper. It would explain Cartman being so heavy too.
 * This theory has been jossed in episode "201." Cartman finds out his dad is really 1989 Denver Bronco's player, Jack Tenorman who is also the same father as Scott Tenorman. The Hermaphrodite story was just a cover up. Also Cartman killed his own dad. And he is half ginger.
 * Would Cartman's parents being named "Jack and Liane" (only one letter off) explain his obsession with such Narm classics as "Come Sail Away" and "Heat of the Moment"?

Kenny's reincarnation runs in the family.

 * Could be his father died twice in the show; first in Death when he is the first person flung into the building and in Pink Eye he was seen killed by zombies.
 * Not necessarily. Unless I somehow failed to notice the explanation.
 * It's heavily implied to be because of something that happened to them while they were at the cult.
 * It's heavily implied to be because of something that happened to them while they were at the cult.

Eric Cartman grows up to become Peter Griffin from Family Guy
No, really. There both fat jerks.
 * Except, Cartman is a lot smarter than Peter.
 * Yeah, Cartman isn't stupid so much as intellectually lazy. Not to mention Peter Griffin actually respects Jews.
 * You obviously did not see the episode "Family Goy". Lois discovers she is half-Jewish, and in keeping with what he believes his uber-Catholic father would want, attempts to murder her.
 * Yeah but at first he embraces Judaism even more so than Lois until the ghost of his father confronts him.
 * Plus, Peter is said to have had a hippie-like lifestyle sometime in the past. No way Cartman would do that, especially since the timeline doesn't exactly allow for Cartman to have been born when and where Peter was and especially not to Mickey and Thelma instead of  and Liane. Also, the kids in South Park will always be kids, except when it would be funny for them not to be. Lastly, how the fuck does that even begin to work when Family Guy already exists as a TV show in the South Park universe, and Cartman blatantly loathes it?

When he was younger, Kenny's dad worked as a mercenary.
The genetic reincarnation theory up there would explain the respawns, and Kenny's sadistic tendencies would be explained if he found out about his father's past work.
 * Kenny's father was the Spy. He even gave his son his very own dead ringer.

Imaginationland is the world of Grand Unifying Guesses
Seeing as they were tired of us tropers attempting to unify every franchise, the Trinity of WMG created a world that proves every theory made right. The dark side of the wall is the Dark World.
 * Also, Butters is the Avatar of the Trinity and God of Imaginationland. Other than O-Haruhi-Sama's Reality Warping, he is a Butt Monkey like Shinji (and by extension, The God-Emperor of Mankind is Professor Chaos), and he has a TARDIS in the form of AWESOME-O.
 * After Butters follows through on his threat (at the conclusion of the "AWESOME-O" episode), what does that make Cartman? A Butt Monkey's Butt Monkey?

South Park is set in the same universe as Peanuts.
Hence explaining similarities in appearance and the incredible rudeness of the children. Charlie Brown and his friends grew up in The Fifties South Park.
 * Funny you should say that. When this Troper was around 4 and didn't understand that SP wasn't for kids, he actually DID think that the kids were Charlie Brown characters.
 * Schroeder appears in "A Very Crappy Christmas", "Probably", and "Something You Can Do With Your Finger".
 * South Park has been called Peanuts on acid.

Garrison is homosexual
First Garrison thought he was straight, then admitted his homosexuality. After the sex change she later became a lesbian. This shows that Garrison isn't specifically attracted to either men or women but only to persons of his/her current gender. After the latest sex change he'll turn gay again.
 * In "The F Word", the gays of South Park have a meeting, and Garrison isn't present, so it's likely that he is still attracted to women, despite being a man again.
 * Chef once said, "There's a big difference between being gay, and being Mr Garrison."

Cartman is a Lady Gaga fan.

 * He sang "Poker Face" in the whale episode and he called Kyle "his Little Monster" in "It's a Jersey Thing". Lady Gaga calls her fans her "Little Monsters".
 * Cartman IS Lady Gaga. (Well, this is WMG.)

The McCormicks have a Kennyquarium full of Kenny clones in their house.

 * Each time Kenny comes back, another clone of him is sent out.
 * jossed.

The four kids will grow up to become the Gunshow Anime Club.

 * Cartman get's the nickname "Mort", a corruption of his last name - and he once again has to wear glasses. Mark is Kyle's middle name, and their enemity didn't end as they grew older. Stan just let his hair grow. Dave is a nickname he started using after he started to develop as a computer expert (based on Dave from 2001). Kenny, unfortunately, didn't live, forcing the four to find a substitute fourth kid - Clyde.

Muhammed is Cartman's father.

 * Pretty much what "200" is probably leading to, isn't it? Besides we haven't seen Muhammed (well, Super Best Friends aside) so entirely possible when the bear suit comes off he'll look like Cartman under it. Plus, hey, given all of the issues between Islam and Judaism it just gives Cartman one more reason to hate Kyle.
 * Cartman's father was in the room during the paternity test. This limits the possibilities to Officer Barbrady, Chef, Jimbo, Ned, Mr. Garrison, Gerald Broflovski, Dr. Mephisto, Kevin, or the 1991 Denver Broncos. Besides, Muhammad had been showed uncensored in South Park before.
 * It's possible that through some extremely messed up timeline, Cartman's (first) future self from "My Future Self and Me" will be his father. Of course, if Cartman finds out, the ensuing damage to the timeline might warp him into something demented, like, I don't know... Leanne, further screwing things up and creating a huge Timey Wimey Ball that might eventually circle in and cause itself.
 * After some re-evaluation, an additional idea in addition to Muhammed - Gerald Broflovski. The episode did open with that oddly superfluous argument between Cartman and Kyle, and he did have the opportunity...
 * This would support the idea that Kyle and Cartman are brothers or half-brothers, too. And they have always had a strange attraction to each other, in a way...
 * Except for the fact that it's all been jossed.

Scuzzlebutt escaped from Imaginationland.
While the boys, Jimbo and Ned were out camping at Mt. Evanston, Cartman makes up the story of Scuzzlebutt. Once Scuzzlebutt came into existance in Imaginationland, he somehow found a way to escape from there and enter the real world. Judging from the reactions everyone got from Scuzzlebutt's appearance (with Cartman expressing the most shock and Chef and Mr. Garrsion showing apparent familiarity with the creature), it is possible that Cartman also told Chef and Mr. Garrison the Scuzzlebutt story beforehand.

Craig grows up to be...
Noah from Total Drama Island. Deadpan Snarker ahoy!

Cartman is the Big Bad of South Park
As was mentioned above, Cartman is a psychopath and a fan of Hitler. He has a higher death count than the devil and anti-christ put together. Hell, he revealed his darkness when he ground up his rival for the week's parents into chili and tricked him into eating it over a few dollars. When he gained the power to create, he made monsters. He closes his eyes he sees holocaust and flame and to him this is normal.

How did this start? I believe Pip gave us the warning way back in 'Damien.' Cartman was being made fun of until Pip arrived and all the kids moved their aggression to Pip. For an adult, being made fun of would be a ridiculous excuse. For an 8 year old with his mental problems, this is a motive worthy of murder. So, Cartman decided he was going to kill everyone in South Park, but he needed a cover so no one would take him seriously. Cue an episode of All in the Family where he saw Archie Bunker. That's when he discovered the perfect disguise, anger, rage, racism, chauvenism, all out in the open. It's brilliant.

The last season will be a time skip to the boys 18th birthday. South Park will be completely destroyed, everyone will be dead, except for Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski. They'll have to face down and defeat their old "friend." And give Kyle proper revenge for all the anti-semetic comments.
 * What about Kenny? He's well, chronicly unable to die.

Cartman is just big boned
Look at his family. They're all obese except for his mom. As an adult he keeps his general appearance though obviously slimmer due to taking care of himself and since he isn't a child.

Cartman's father isn't
It was a lie and his father is someone else. Or they got the DNA test wrong.

Kenny has the same "Soul reservoir" resurrection ability as Mudou.
It makes so much sense.

Stan's puking at Wendy is a sign of disgust, not nervousness
It's hard to tell what his feelings are due to his personality and his young age. But compared to the other kids, he doesn't seem all that romantically interested in Wendy. Maybe he thinks he's in love with her but isn't. Matt has stated that he's the most likely to be gay, but his reason was stereotypical and shallow.
 * They had sex, supposedly. So, bi?
 * Wait, what? But yea, he may be bi. But I know a lot of gay men who have had sex with women.
 * That "sex" part is apparently a joke by the creators. "If you're dumb enough to look, you deserve to lose that much of your life"

There are two subspecies of humans in the South Park universe: mortals and immortals
The immortal ones can resurrect whenever they want to. Most celebrities are immortals, this would explain how could they come back in 200. Kenny is also an immortal. His long absence was caused by his unvillingness to resurrect; he wanted to take a break from being killed horrifically Once an Episode.

Butters's parents aren't actually abusive.
Think about it. When he's his meek self, he gets picked on. And his parents ground him. When he was a "vampire" he had a ton of confidence and couldn't get grounded. His getting grounded never comes up when he pretended to be Professor Chaos. When he's acting sensitive, he has a Butt Monkey complex and sees any actions his parents do as bad. When he has confidence, they're pretty good to him. As for "Jared Has Aides" and the episode with Ben Afleck and his parents? Cartman was pretending to be Butters, and Butters was imagining his picture as a normal one, respectivelly.
 * Heck, going by this, South Park isn't so bad. Butters just imagines all these bad things happening to him to make himself a Woobie, and his overactive imagination is stimulated by whatever's on the news at the time.

Butters' parents are VERY abusive.
"Butters: I don't think I'm very happy. I always fall asleep to the sound of my own screams.
 * Even before we started seeing him as a regular main character, as early as "Super Best Friends", he mentions that he wakes up most mornings screaming. And in a tone that is almost cynical for an innocent guy like Butters.

Magic Workshop Leader: ...Right, yeah. Eh, see, the reason that you are unha-

Butters: (coldly) And then I always get woken up in the morning by the sounds of my own screams. Do you think I'm unhappy?"


 * Remember he mentions being sexually abused, and also how he subconsciously sees his father as some kind of monster.
 * Don't forget in "Butters' Very Own Episode", how he finds out that his mother tried to kill him, and then his parents tried to cover it up with some really awful lies. Stan asks him if he's okay after hearing that, and he says "Yeah, I'm fine" then adds, "No, I'm lying".
 * His treatment in "The Death Of Eric Cartman" is also rather horrific - if he didn't have issues before, I'll bet that after about 14 hours of anal probing he will now.
 * At the end of "Marjorine" his parents lock him in the basement. You don't see him in "Follow That Egg!" at all - and considering that the kids are named and paired for their Egg Project you'd think if he was there he'd be given somebody, but he's not there. He doesn't even show in the background at any point. The most rational explanation? That his parents kept him in that basement for up to a week before they worked out he'd only faked his own death.
 * Another moment in "Marjorine", when he's sobbing in the bathroom as Marjorine, Butters tells the girls tearfully, "You have no idea how hard it is to be me!" Not "the new girl" or "the new kid" but "me". That moment really suggests that for a long time Butters has been faking a lot of his smiles.

Kenny is Jesus
Yeah, I know Jesus exists in this world (it's pretty much the basis of the theory). Jesus' power is Resurrection, the ability to return from death. Kenny has done this constantly for the whole run of the show (even when he really DID die and had his ashes consumed by Cartman). He's the second coming of Jesus and South Park is Purgatory.

Butters is a male-to-female Transsexual
He just gives me that vibe in general. He did like crossdressing a bit too much, more so then the typical crossdresser.
 * Though he did cross the line at dressing up as Courtney Love. "Awww, come on, fellas, don't make me be Courtney Love."
 * He doesn't like her possibly? Plus he was cross-dressing as a character, not as himself.

The eye colors are like this.
Kenny - Blue. Originally brown as stated in "How to eat with your butt" (Cartman described him as having a "winking brown eye") and hazel according to the draft of The Movie. Now blue, as shown in his anime form, Major Boobage, and Starvin' Marvin. Kyle - Brown eyes. Well, they were in his anime form. He had black hair too, but maybe he just didn't think ninjas looked good with red hair or dislikes it. Cartman - Brown eyes. He should have blue now due to an eye transparent with Kenny, but a continuity snarl applies here. A few official drawings of him have him with brown eyes Stan - Blue. Confirmed in "A Very Crappy Christmas" though his anime form had brown ones. Apparently ninjas can't have blue eyes either.. Craig - Blue. His anime form. Wendy - Gray or brown. ..I can't remember where it was stated but I recall seeing it or at least it being hinted.
 * "Winking brown eye" refers to something... different, mostly in that context.
 * ...Seems like he was referring to his eyes.
 * His face wasn't peeking through the parka, something else was. Come on, skippy, you can figure it out.
 * It was a Double Entendre.

Kenny can only return from unnatural death.
Prior to "Kenny Dies", he always died in violent, or at least unusal ways. In Kenny Dies, he died of an illness and didn't come back. He possessed Cartman, then a ham, then Rob Schneider. In the montage of Rob possessed by Kenny, it ends with Rob/Kenny dying being impaled on a pole. The next time we see Kenny, he is back in South Park. The unnatural death in Rob's body allowed him to return.
 * Jossed in "The Ring" and "Chickenpox". In both episodes he indeed died of an illness. And there are probably a few more examples I can't remember right now.

Mr. Garrison's Mom Molested Him
OK, that part is obviously canon. But the real guess comes here: she molested him as a young child, forever damaging the way he looked at sex (which may help explain his constant changes in orientation). He thought it was wrong, and so asked her why she did it and she replied "Oh ummmm. It's because I loved you sweety. That's a sign of love." Being a naive child, he believed her, later wondering why his dad wasn't "loving" him, and the rest is history. Their interactions years later is just his mom keeping up the charade.

Another Cartman/Wendy episode will happen within the next four seasons
Belligerent Sexual Tension by the bucket. I expect it to be something revolving around the gang and the pairing.

Homosexuality has complex ramifications in the South Park universe
Note that this might only apply to males, as lesbians have not really been touched upon.

Anyway, sexuality in South Park is a spectrum, although everyone is at least "a little gay," with some being "very, very gay" (i.e. Mr. Garrison). Suppressing homosexuality turns into an obsession with being in control of other males (Mr. Garrison is always in control of his relationship and is obsessed with being the teacher, Stephen is always in control of Butters, Cartman is obviously obsessed with authoritah, Jimbo is in charge of his "relationship" with Ned, Randy suppressed it with Gerald in the hot tub and has since turned into the de facto leader of South Park), and possibly insanity (the suicides in the conversion camp, Jimbo's crazed hunting, Randy's ever-increasing stupidity). The more homosexual and overall horny they are, the crazier they get (Garrison wanting to be molested by his parents, split personality, complete disregard for his students' lives, going through the entire sexual spectrum including the opposite sex and back). Had Garrison not suppressed it, he would have ended up more like Mr. Slave (proud, happily married, and acknowledging that the life of a whore is a bad one).

The Super Adventure Club learned of this and have been suppressing their feelings for adult males in order to become fully committed to authority and shed themselves of any remorse in their pursuit of power, while having sex with boys in order to prevent insanity. Members who lean closer to heterosexuality have sex with girls to prevent the opposite (chaos). They have also possibly been manipulating factions such as NAMBLA, the Church of Scientology, and Alcoholics Anonymous in their quest.

Butters may be the only organism to be 100% straight, and since he does not release enough of this heterosexuality (mostly due to his father's demands and friends' teasing), he occasionally has a desire to unleash chaos upon the world. Similarly, Big Gay Al may be the only organism to be 100% homosexual, hence why both characters are pretty much the purest non-Mormon people. Mormons are special and possibly ignore these rules. (Possibly connected to polygamous practices, although that aspect has never been touched upon by the show.)

In Mysterion Rises, someone will punch out Cthulhu

 * Jossed, though there's still one more episode in the trilogy.
 * Not literally (unfortunately), but someone DID take down Cthulhu.

The "other dimension" that DP drilled into was in fact Imaginationland

 * Perhaps the portals were disposed of by burying them in the Gulf and on the moon. This would at the very least explain why Cthulhu, well known as a character in H.P. Lovecraft's stories, is suddenly real in another dimension.

Satan is the only real supernatural character.

 * Note that Satan and were the only previously established religious figure not present in Imaginationland. This was probably a subtle Take That to the world--that is, saying that "good is imaginary, evil is real". The fact that Satan is one of the nicer characters in the South Park universe either reinforces and contradicts this.
 * Please tell me you included Mohammed in there to say that Mohammed was real, and not that he was evil.
 * was mentioned just to point out that there's only one problem with the Wild Guess, as he is a previously established religious figure and is not present, thus Satan's absence might just mean they forgot or didn't bother to include him. Obviously, within the context of the show, should be on the good side. And way to go along with the censorship joke.
 * Wasn't there a door no one dared to open, or a gate or something, that was never opened. That's probably where The most horrible evils were, and the greatest goods, like God himself, fighting the Greater Evils

Butters will eventually be promoted to the opening title.

 * The relationship between Cartman and Butters has become as significant as Stan and Kyle. Thus, Butters will eventually be added to Cartman's part. Kenny's lines have supposedly been changed in seasons 3, 7, and 10b (plus he was replaced by Timmy in season 6), so rerecording the Core Four's lines so that there's an updated feeling all around doesn't seem too unlikely.

Kenny will blackmail the Joozians to let humanity back into the galactic community

 * They're likely already pissed that Earth had all contact forcibly cut off from it. All they need is a little push.

The newest episode will result in either Cartman or Kenny being Killed Off for Real

 * Evidence for Kenny: His immortality is implied to because of the dark lord Cthulhu, so maybe he has to give up that power and sacrifice himself to stop Cthulhu.
 * Evidence for Cartman: He controlled Cthulhu and partook in Mass Murder. I doubt that anyone is going to let him off the hook after this. Although there is less evidence for this theory because Cartman is the only reason a lot of people watch the show.
 * This is officially Jossed.
 * Thank god.
 * Not for lack of trying on Kenny's part.

Coon 2: Hindsight, Mysterion Rises, and Coon and Friends V.S. The Coon and possibly The Coon will be edited into a straight to DVD movie like Imaginationland

 * Just so I can say I called it.
 * I really hope it includes some kind of alternate ending.
 * The Imaginationland DVD included "A Woodland Critter Christmas" and "ManBearPig," so a theoretical Coon and Friends DVD including "The Coon" (and possibly "Cartman Joins NAMBLA" or "Professor Chaos") seems quite likely.

Al-Queda diving aircraft carriers toward the end of It's a Jersey Thing is another big statement regarding the Muhammad controversy
It's apparently okay to show Muslim terrorists crashing airplanes into civilians, but not okay to show Muhammad.

Kenny is the spawn/mortal incarnation of an Old One/Outer God
During one of the cult's meetings they temporarily summoned one of the Old Ones (probably Yog-Sothoth, Cthulhu, or Nyarlathotep) and had it rape Kenny's mom while she was drunk.

Kenny was offered as a sacrifice to the Old Ones

 * When the Goth Kids were showing Kenny the Necronomicon, there is a picture of cultists doing something to a baby. Kenny's mother was drunk and pregnant at one of the meetings and offered fetus!Kenny to the Old Ones. It turns out the Old Ones are pro-life (the Outer Gods are pro-choice), so they turned Kenny into an immortal in order to curse the mother and, in their [many] eyes, bless the unfortunate fetus.

The Universe is trying to kill Kenny

 * The "Coon and Friends" trilogy failed to address why Kenny dies regularly. Here are some options:
 * Kenny, being a young Humanoid Abomination, is considered a foreign contaminate by the universe and thus it is always trying to get rid of him.
 * The Joozians know of Kenny's status as an Humanoid Abomination, and are either trying to get rid of him or exploiting his curse for entertainment.
 * Going along with the implication in "Cripple Fight" that his parka is the cause of his deaths, the parka is some kind of cultist cloak for your kids, some kind of creation by an Old One or Outer God, or, going along with the above two theories, was created by the universe or Joozians. Nothing happened when Butters wore the parka in "Jared Has Aides" because it wasn't the same kind, or because Butters was too pure/destined to save Imaginationland. Furthermore, the reason so much bad stuff happened at once when Jimmy wore it was because Kenny had grown resistance to it over the years, hence why he dies much less post-season 5.
 * In Sunshine the filmmakers used Kenny's parka as inspiration for the design of the super-heat-resistant spacesuits. How the memes are mutating...!
 * The universe might actually be killing him in an attempt to turn him into a full Eldritch Abomination. When he is killed, a bit more of his mortal side (or whatever he got from the Mc Cormicks) dies and a little more of his Old One (or whatever he really is) is put in place. Why isn't he fully an Abomination by now? Hey, he's an Eldritch Abomination. 15 or so seasons of deaths and a movie is nothing to his kind. And yes, this is totally ripped off of Rasputin from the first Hellboy movie.

South Park is cursed

 * Time flows strangely in the town of South Park because it is cursed. Everyone outside of it ages normally. Kyle's cousin Kyle is really a short adult, hence why he has been on many flights by himself. Celebrities are immortal because they have so much money (remember money's healing power against AIDS). Also, money originates from R'lyeh and most celebrities are cultists.

Kenny's powers are not limited just to his immortality.

 * He also in advertantly gives those around him amnesia due to his prescence as an Humanoid Abomination. When he's dead, his friends memories about his multiple deaths can resurface and they show awareness of them- but as soon as he's revived, they disappear. This is a protective measure he subconciously takes so no one recognizes him as something inhuman and won't attack him/experiment on him/be driven mad by his prescence/etc.
 * In addition, he doesn't have to use his mother to be reborn, it's just the way he's most used to and uses automatically. If something ever does happen to her, he'll just start materializing when he's reborn instead (as he's been shown to be capable of on occassion). He could do this conciously, if he ever became aware of just how he revives himself.
 * Maybe he makes his mother experience childbirth when he's mad at her.

Cartman saved the world.

 * A reporter notes that Cthulhu is not behaving as scientists predicted, and the Goth Kids are also disappointed. Cartman directed Cthulhu to very specific targets, whereas on his own he may have indiscriminately destroyed everything or targeted more crucial points (i.e. Washington, NYC and other global cities, religious headquarters like the Vatican, etc.). Plus all the time spent doing "cute" stuff certainly helped. Had it not been for Cartman, Cthulhu would have likely taken over the world, or at least caused way more damage, by the time Mintberry Crunch received his father's message.

Cartman is part-Kenny.

 * Remember the episode "Succubus"? Cartman replaces his eyes with Kenny's in the end. Thus he remembers seeing Kenny's deaths from then on, hence his comment in "Cartmanland" and why he wasn't that surprised when he returned from the "dark oblivion." Being an Humanoid Abomination may explain why his evilness grew from that point and why he appealed to Cthulhu so much.

South Park WILL show Muhammad eventually.
There's no way Parker and Stone will give up on this. Every few seasons they will try again until Comedy Central relents and Muhammad is shown on the air. By the time this happens the taboo on Muhammad will be broken and the world will be a better place. After all, either all of it is OK or none of it is.
 * They already did, in "Super Best Friends".
 * True, but that episode will never air again until the Muhammad taboo is lifted, which can only be done by a future uncensored appearance of Muhammad. And South Park is the only show that dares to challenge this taboo.

South Park used to be known by another name: Innsmouth
OK, before I give this theory, let me acknowldge the flaws: South Park is in the middle of Colorado whereas Innsmouth was specifically stated to be on the coast of New England. I know that, but just put that aside for a minute. I don't know, assume South Park used to be on the Colorado River, and thats how they established contact with the Deep Ones. Anyway: South Park used to be known by the name of Innsmouth, where they worshipped Cthulhu, Dagon, and Hydra (the cult of Cthulhu is still their, but the Order of Dagon was disbanded following a combined U.S. Marine assault on the town). Following the plot of Call of Cthulhu: DCOTE, detective Jack Walters is sent to investigate the town, looking for disappeared person Brian Burnham. Walters investigates the town, and finds many... interesting things. Eventually, the Order decides he's too close to the truth, and attempt to kill him. They fail, and he sneaks and fights his way out of Innsmouth along with Brian. He eventually makes it to an army of U.S. Marines preparing for the assault on Innsmouth. A lot of the marines were killed by The Deep Ones and Father Dagon (whom Walters defeated later), but eventually the marines took the town. Everyone who wasn't a Cultist (and a few who were) were moved away from the town into a newly built town to solve the refugee problem: South Park. This may explain why all these strange events seem to happen in this otherwise unimportant little town. It's cursed, due to the deal with the Deep Ones that Obed Marsh made (I'm not spoiling that part of the games plot). Not only that, but many residents of South Park are descended from people who lived in (or traveled to) Innsmmouth. Lucas Mackey is an ancestor of Mr.Mackey. Henry Garrison (the crazy man in the jail cell) is an ancestor of Mr.Garrison. Captain Obed Marsh is an ancestor of Stan, Randy, Sharon, and Shelley Marsh. Most importantly, Jack Walters is the ancestor of both Cartman and Kenny (he was Kenny's great grandpa, but Cartman's great grandma was a dirty slut). Inheriting Jack's abilities and abnormal nature may explain why Cartman was so loved by Cthulhu and why he is immune to the memory wipe that usually happens when Kenny dies.

Eric Cartman is the reincarnation of H.P. Lovecraft.
They share not just a few character traits.

There will be another movie in 2012.
A few years back, Trey and Matt said in an interview that when the show does eventually end, they would like to end it with another movie. Wikipedia says that in the 2009 blu-ray commentary for BLU, they mention how if they do another movie Butters will have to play a big role. As such, I am guessing that Professor Chaos will be a major villain, and Cartman will, too, since he already played anti-hero in the first film. The relationship will finally be reversed, with Cartman being one of Butters' minions. The Super Adventure Club (Darth Chef), Saddam, and/or crab people should return, too. Frosty should be a villain just for a complete full circle.
 * Technically, "Imaginationland" was a movie, and Butters wasn't a villain in that.

Mr/Miss Garrison is a parody of Easy Sex Change
Since s/he is exactly what would result from one in real life.

The kids will grow up to be Jordan Chase's Circle from the fifth season of Dexter.
See the Dexter Wild Mass Guessing page.

Kenny is sexually abused
It fits him. Plus how else would an eight year old, nevertheless a poor one, know so much about sex?
 * So why isn't he traumatized? (Apparently, his attitude towards sex is far from that of a traumatized kid.)
 * Some kids act like that as a cover, or he could be diverting it.

One of the kids is gay
But it isn't one of the main gang; not Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Cartman, or Butters. Also, another is either bicurious or bisexual.
 * Duhh it's South Park

Butters will grow up to be Dr. Horrible.
For some reason, at some time in the future, Butters will drop the name Prof. Chaos for Dr. Horrible. Dougie (General Disarray) might be Moist.

Kenny will grow up to become an ambassador between Heaven, Earth, and Hell
Being immortal has it's downsides, but it also opens up career opportunities.

Bradley will no longer be seen in school (or ever, except as minor cameos).
Keeping him around, even if he does absolutely nothing, will just make you ask "Why doesn't he just solve the problem of the week?" Plus, he said he's off to find out what happened to his birth parents. He also wasn't seen in Creme Fraiche, despite being a common Living Prop in cafeteria scenes. His vacant seat will probably be taken by Jason, Dog Poo, or just someone the animators like. (This is not unprecedented; Jimmy took Pip's seat halfway through season 11.)

Kenny has a little sister who died
Karen appears to be his sister, but she's only appeared once. The family has appeared several times outside, and we've seen them inside their house a few times, but no Karen. Inside the house can be excused as her being outside the room for whatever reason, but why isn't she with her family? She can't be older then seven. Those marks on her face are bruises, like Kevin's. The McCormick parents don't seem bad or neglectful, maybe the best parents of the main gang actually, but their family doesn't appear to be in the best of luck when it comes to injuries and health.
 * The McCormicks drink heavily, do drugs, fight constantly, and had to be threatened by Mysterion not to be such godawful parents (even while they're smoking something). Even if you are giving a damning indictment of the rest of the parents, Kenny's parents are still objectively terrible.
 * Where was it confirmed that her name is Karen? Isn't this just fanon?
 * Word of God refers to her as "Karen".
 * This has been Jossed as of "The Poor Kid" -- not only does Karen appear in the episode, but she also had a significant role.

The entire universe is an Eldritch Abomination.
Specifically, it's the very embodiment of Dead Baby Comedy. Every show that has been flanderized is a result of this horror visiting the universe for a bit. Some more than others. Plus Rule of Cool

Ms. Crabtree was killed off because none of the newer voice actresses could get her voice right
After Mary Kay Bergman's untimely death, Ms. Crabtree's voice was the one that suffered the most. Perhaps they decided to kill her off because she just wasn't the same without her old voice.

Kenny has never died.
Kenny has some sort of mental problem that causes him to hallucinate. The entire show is from his point of view explaining all the crazy things that happen. Due to his mental problem, he has a tendency to become hyperactive and excited. When he becomes too hyper, he has to take meds to calm him down. While taking the meds, Kenny likens his slowed down state to death and believes that he has died. This is why everyone denies his claims to have died because he never really died, he only thought he did. In Kenny dies, Kenny is taken to a mental hospital to be cured. His friends visited him for awhile, but then when his problems became too severe the hospital forbade anyone from visiting him. When his friends stopped visiting him, he believed that he died again. The hospital was finally able to help him out. He still hallucinates, but he no longer has to take the meds all the time which is why he no longer dies.

Kenny death unification theory
An attempt to unify all of Kenny's recorded deaths, resurrection and references to his death. When Kenny dies, there are three possibilities 1) A short duration of oblivion. Kenny sees neither heaven nor hell. Everyone remembers him dying until he resurrects by child-birth. People are unable to wonder where Kenny was for the duration of time he was absent by death. 2) Kenny goes to heaven. When in heaven, Kenny stays dead for several days and during this time, people are able to remember his death. Instead of resurrecting through child-birth, he resurrects through a ray of light. 3) Kenny goes to hell. When in hell, Kenny stays dead for several days and during this time, people are able to remember his death. Resurrection in this manner has not been seen yet. Whether Kenny goes to heaven, hell or neither is determined by whether a deity cares enough to get him to his domain, despite only being capable of staying there for a matter of days. There is an exception to the memory erasure however, in the form of people who wouldn't care about Kenny dying all the time, because they are too busy with themselves, like Cartman.

Any holes in the theory?
 * Huge hole in theory 2: only Mormons go to Heaven. Mc-Cormack family are Roman Cthactholic. Huge hole in theory 3: Movie, Kenny going to Hell was presented as a huge sacrifice rather than same old same old. Kenny ezplained he dies and wakes up in bed.

There's an in-series reason for the Negative Continuity and floating timeline
They reference often to previous episodes, despite the fact the dates have retconned every year; for example, the gang should be born in 2002 now.

The reason Joe Biden isn't in About Last Night is because Mc Cain and Obama cared enough about the country to make sure there would be a President.
Biden is clueless enough not to notice a huge conspiracy to steal the Hope Diamond, and Mc Cain and Obama figure that if they and Palin are presumed dead that the electoral college, which votes six weeks after election day, will elect Biden as President (definitely if Obama won, and if Mc Cain won, it's a toss-up between this and drafting Mike Huckabee or Mitt Romney to take over as President).

The Coon saga explanation of Kenny's power is not canon either.
It's the third explanation given over the course of the series (the first two are in episodes "Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut" and "Cartman Joins NAMBLA"), and all three are incompatible. Just because the first two were only done as throwaway gags doesn't mean the third one is true.
 * Ummm, the second explanation is compatible with the third one though.

Hat McCullough really did kill those 23 babies in self-defense
With this show, its not unfathomable.

Sooner or later, there will be a South Park episode about the male Periphery Demographic of shows like My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic.
...because this is just the kind of weirdness South Park likes to deal with. (Also, it would be cool.)
 * Maybe that's what will cure Stan of his cynicism!
 * Church of Faust anypony?

The series is going to end with an epic Snap Back
...to the very beginning of the show. The way it figures, things will keep changing for the more bizarre, and there's probably a lot more status quo to break) until the very fabric of the South Park universe implodes in on itself and it all goes back to the early days. Yes, including the revival of characters such as Pip and Ms. Crabtree (and possibly Chef if they just recycle old clips of him from other episodes). And then it just ends.
 * Well, it kinda did snap back. Just not the way anyone thought.

Someone will react to Stan's rampant cynicism by shooting him...
...in a reference to Gabrielle Giffords.

Kyle and Cartman will team up to cure Stan's cynicism
The two will realize that they're becoming closer friends and become deeply disturbed by it. They decide to cure Stan's cynicism so they won't EVER become best friends.

The events of "You're Getting Old" was All Just a Dream.
(not the original poster) Oh god, please, please, please, PLEASE let this be true. DX

Beatrix Potter infiltrated the Hare Club for Men.
Somehow, Beatrix Potter became the first woman to learn about the Hare Club and learn the truth about St. Peter. She gave clues in her story "The Tale of Peter Rabbit". The name "Mac Gregor" means "Son of the All Watchful One", meaning Mr. Mac Gregor represents Christ. Peter Rabbit escapes Mac Gregor three times, just as Peter denied Christ three times. While escaping, Peter Rabbit loses his shoes and a blue coat with brass buttons. The shoes represent Earth while the coat represents Heaven. Mac Gregor uses Peter Rabbit's clothes to make a scarecrow just as Christ made Peter the first Pope. The signs are all there! You just have to look!

Kenny is a reality warper / God
He dies in every episode as a way to escape his life of eternal control. He is aware of his prowess that's why every thing always works out for the best and he doesn't worry about things.

The whole show is seen through the eyes of a local drug addict tripping on LSD who lives across the street from the bus stop
It would explain why the characters look like construction paper, Kenny keeps dying, and weird stuff keeps happening around town. In the real world, South Park is a normal, quiet town.

In the future Kenney will become a scientist and will cause his own Immortality
During middle or High school Kenny will become intrested in science to try to learn how he keeps dying and coming back, leading him a carer as a quantom phycisist, years into the future he finally discovers how he came back to life over and over again and manages to create technology that allows other's to come back to life in much the same way, but since Kenny has to repeatedly die and come back to life so as to be inspired to create this machine in the first place, future Kenny instructs scientist's of the future that as soon as travel to the past becomes possible someone must go back in time to give past Kenny the treatment so he will be able to iinvent the tech in the future

Cartman embodies all of the Seven Deadly Sins at once.
Think about it. Cartman is fat and eats a lot (Gluttony), often motivated by money or gaining something (Greed), hates it when others have something he wants (Envy), is quick to anger and never hesitates to tell people he hates them (Wrath), gets sick pleasure out of weird places (Lust), is self-centered and arrogant (Pride), and incredibly lazy (Sloth).

Additionally, he and the other boys are the individual sins, too.
Kyle is Wrath (he's usually motivated by anger), Stan is Sloth (he prefers to ignore his problems over actually dealing with them and complains when he actually has to do something), Cartman is Greed (he would be Gluttony, but he's more commonly motivated by greed), Kenny is Lust (for obvious reasons), Craig is Pride (he tends to look down on the boys), Tweek is Gluttony (the coffee addiction) and Wendy is Envy (she hates it when people pay attention to someone other than her).

Kenny isn't human.
He is a ghost that walks the earth. Before the South Park series was created wasn't there a movie? I remember Kenny dying and going to heaven also. However Kenny is ungrateful with his stay with God & Jesus and has decided to go back to Earth and keep having crazy adventures with his misfit friends. God knows what's best always, and knows that Kenny should be up in heaven so what does he do? God punishes Kenny for his arrogance by having him die once more in apparently gruesome painful ways to teach him a lesson about sneaking out of heaven like a dirty rat. It's just a cartoon but Kenny isn't like lucifer but he is still a rebellious angel just not rebellious to the point of cursing God's name thank goodness so he keeps sneaking out of heaven, and God keeps punishing him by having him die painfully on Earth and returning to heaven, Thank goodness he doesn't send Kenny to hell. In Kenny dies Kenny probably finally came to his senses and decided to die and stay in heaven. While he was in Heaven he kept a watchful eye on his friends to see if they were okay, while they did have a bumpy start without him they did manage to cope with their loss and went back to having crazy fun adventures. Kenny on the other hand was starting to feel left out instead of being content with his eternal bliss and decided to join the his friends again. God decided that Kenny was a lost cause and decided to let Kenny stay on Earth and not punish him for being on it. You'll notice that's he stops dying a lot more less. It's because he knows there's no getting through to Kenny and if he wants to act a fool on Earth let it be, God doesn't need Kenny in Heaven, also he definetly doesn't think Kenny should feel like he has to stay in Heaven. The little amount of times he dies after the episode "Kenny Dies" do seem less random, because now everytime he dies it's really his fault or at least someone else's fault as seen in that episode "The Jeffersons". But God has cursed Kenny's immortal soul also. Everytime he dies he is to be reborn through his mother as a baby again and age back to live a normal life, never to experience eternal rest or the plesures of heaven. He is forced to live on Earth until he ages to dust. I don't know what his parents did at that cult meeting but I doubt it had something to do with Kenny's immortality. In that episode "Summer Sucks" when they showed Kenny dying was filler, because nobody can remember Kenny dying as shown in the coon saga so how did they remember that. In that episode "Pre-school" they didn't show Kenny dying because as I stated earlier God decided it would be best for Kenny to stay on Earth. He is cursed to live on Earth for the rest for his natrual life. Whenever he is forced to come back to life everyone forgets about the ordeal kenny suffered to not only torture kenny with apparent indifference, but to not cause any suspicion that the work of God was at hand
 * That movie was made a couple years after the series began. He's been dying casually since the beginning.
 * While that is true. The movie is based before the series ever began however, because in the movie the boys didn't know who "Terrance & Phillip" were. Even in the early series the boys watched Terrance and Phillip. The boys found out who Terrance and Phillip in the movie and since the series they always knew Terrance and Phillip. If that isn't good enough for you what about Satan's and Sadam's falling out. In the series we all know and love, Lucifer is trying to avoid Sadam and they imply that they had a falling out before. When did they have this falling out? In the movie that canoncially takes place before the whole series.
 * Uh, the whole reason they wanted to see the movie is because they were already T&P fans. The movie came out three years after the show started, and the episodes with Saddam came out the year after the movie.
 * We the viewers don't have any proof that the boys knew who terrance and phillip were before the movie, if they already knew them then why were they so surprised at everything Terrance & Phillip did(as if they never seen anything like it before). In the series Sadam and satan aren't together because they broke up. Hmmm, they didn't break up in the series wonder when did they do that. The answer is in the movie of course. In the series whenever kenny dies everyone either doesn't make a big deal out of it, or just forgets about it soon after, but in the movie they took Kenny's death pretty seriously so explain that. Even if you were right explain how Sadam and satan were broke up in the series but how they were in a relationship in the movie. Did they have any episodes even showing sadam and satan in a relationship before the movie, and if so what where their names?
 * Another proof. Kenny canoncially embodies the deadly sin of lust right? Lust is a pretty nasty sin, but what does it do to someone other besides make someone real horny? It deadens their spiritual senses, or better yet any sense what so ever. In so many words out of the seven deadly sin this one makes you stupid. Explaining the amazing feats drug addicts go to just to get their stupid high, not to get off the subject here but the point is he could of snuck out of heaven out of stupidity.

Shelley Marsh sees things as turds the same way Stan sees things as s**t when he turned 10.

 * That can explain why Shelley calls everyone "turds", because when she turned 10 she started seeing things as turds and now that Stan turned 10 he sees everything as s**t... coincidence?

Stan will cure his excessive cynicism by having himself vaccinated against HPV, in order to make himself "retarded."
Matt and Trey, in the next episode, will follow through on the vaccine derpitude alluded to in "Ass Burgers."
 * That depends, how many other easily discredited conspiracy theories have those two presented as anything less than utterly ridiculous?
 * Seriously now, it wasn't that the adults thought vaccines caused people to be retarded. They thought it caused Asperger's Syndrome (kind of the opposite in fact) and that was why Stan was so cynical.

Kyle and Wendy will get together sometime in S15.
Just to see those two random kids' (from the episode Ass Burger) reaction to this happening.
 * Oh, I thought it was a Take That to shippers who see any interaction between characters as romantic interest.
 * OP - I'm sure it is, but I just loved how deadpan those kids were and would really like to see them again.

Stan has Gone Mad From the Revelation that Status Quo Is God, and will have an arc for the rest of the season trying to avert it.
Really, the ending seems to deny this, but look at how he's frozen in shock through the whole "everything goes back to normal" montage.

The series is gearing up for it's Grand Finale

 * Somewhat flimsy an argument but the last two seasons had more Character Development episodes than the whole series combined and resolved a lot of plot threads. Granted a show like South Park that runs on Negative Continuity doesn't have a lot of hanging plot threads but the resolution of  immortality, the highlighting that Randy's antics result from his dissatisfaction with his life, the plot threads involving how Growing Up Sucks for Stan and Cartman, the increased focus on some periphery characters (Shelly, for one) all strike to me as an attempt to end the show in the most satisfying way possible. And then there is the whole issue with the Mid Season finale and how some people thought Word of God was giving a hint. It could go on for another season or two but it one can't help feel that the scene is being set for the series' end.
 * Jossed. The series has been Renewed through Season 20.
 * Awesomeness.

Kyle's turn at learning to grow up may involve suicidal tendencies

 * Kyle went through a lot of emotionally-damaging crap throughout the series, even more than Stan, and his turn may involve an adult breaking his self-esteem with certain words to address whatever problem he has might lead to an existential dilemma where at one point, Kyle contemplates suicide, but is stopped.
 * This troper is actually betting on his leaning toward dealing with his family in some way. Sheila would be a good candidate to be a type of Tiger Mom that's been popular in the media lately. Combine with her already overbearing Jewish mother stereotypes and Kyle getting closer to his faith's adulthood (13 years) could lead to this.

The series finale will involve the grey aliens from the first episode

 * seeing that aliens have been observing the events of South Park since their focus in the first episode, without practically any mention from the characters, it is possible that the finale will have an alien invasion (possibly involving some event that resets the show back to the pilot, possibly Retconning the whole show, or creating a Stable Time Loop).
 * I know! The real, historical Muhammed (not the one from Imaginationland, who was part of the Super Best Friends) engaged in some kind of ritual that left him immortal and looking like a grey alien. This would retroactively make every single episode as (or rather, more) offensive than 201.

In A Ladder to Heaven the boys abandoned their ladder when it was only a survivable jump away from finished.
And that's how Saddam Hussein escaped back to Earth.

Stan isn't cynical he just suffered from a puberty style Logic Bomb.
Ok this whole episode started with an argument about how Tween Wave sounded like crap right. Stan is at the age (in South Park style.) Where he is beginning to believe that what his parents say is finally coming true. Yet he doesn't like their music either because it also sounds like crap. In this mindset, he should be hating tween wave because he is becoming an adult. However as he is still a kid he still doesn't like the music his parents like. This goes on and on in his head driving him nuts until the bomb explode. In order for it to stop there was only one possible solution: Everything was Crap.

Stan as well as everyone else who applies literally sees and hears everything as crap.
As some cruel joke or whatever, Stan became "cynical" because something caused him to literally hear and see crap. The same applies to adults who probably think their kids love to listen to farting sounds all day.

Kyle is Cartman's personal scapegoat.
Just as Hitler blamed Germany's problems on those of the Jewish faith, Cartman takes out his anger of his own life on Kyle.

The Human CentiPad was a plot by Steve Jobs to teach people the dangers of blindly agreeing to terms and conditions without reading them.
Which is why during the announcement of the Human CentiPad he keeps emphasizing that the three victims AGREED to the procedure.

In "The List", Wendy thought out the plan to get Kyle to the bottom
Because of her feelings for him. She also helped out the overly complicated plot, which accidently got Kyle to the bottom, to get back in contact with Stan. They could easily "just" have promoted Clyde to first, then made the list from there. During the episode, it's said that "Craig had to be moved to number 12, Jimmy up and Jason down" (Something like that). Furthermore Kyle had to be moved down, as Bebe refers to Kyle as a "casualty". Wendy is often shown as intelligent and good with words, which means that she could talk them into making that list like that.
 * Except that this all hinges on Wendy expecting the reaction from Kyle and there really not being much of an indicator that he was all that concerned about his looks. In fact, even through the episode he never claims to consider himself good looking but botheed only by being at the bottom. Wendy's really never had any signs of being vindictive toward Kyle and if "Follow That Egg" is any indicator, they can actually get along just fine, removing jealousy as a drive.

Cynicism runs in the Marsh family
Note how Stan became an alcoholic--just like his dad. Shelley calls everyone a turd because that's what she sees them as. Marvin is suicidal because he is tired of seeing the world as shit and he's too old to just drown it away with alcohol. Also, Stan is slowly transforming into Randy--note how he acts suspiciously like him in "Bass to Mouth" (rallying a group of people to fight something he was supporting just a moment earlier). The alcohol is killing his brain cells.

Eric Cartman is an innocent Chaotic Evil.
While he does appear selfish and even malevolent like most villians he really doesn't concept the reality of his misdeeds much like a toddler or infant doesn't understand what the reality of their actions. Unlike most people he doesn't believe in a good or evil or order and chaos; the only thing he knows is "cool or lame". He doesn't comprehend the concept of morality just fun. He is shown to do good deeds out of the sheer kindness of his heart on rare occasions so he can't be all evil. An example of this is in "Cartman's Sucks" when he doesn't know severity of his misdeed unlike his friends until he is told about it. "Whatever whatever I do whatever I want" seems to be his motto. He is much like a spoiled rotten brat with a slight intellectual backbone.

Cartman is homosexual
In the Imagination Land episodes, at the end,, and the whole two following episodes involved Cartman following Kyle around, trying to get Kyle. And, in another episode, Cartman kisses Kyle at the end, although I am not sure which one. Not to mention that him and Butters fooled around somewhat(while Butters was asleep).
 * Better wait a while before confirming or jossing anything here? Let's not forget Eric Cartman possesses a poor understanding about sexuality and he makes gay jokes everyone once in a while he could be bisexual or even straight for all we could know so it's best to wait for the future before making up our minds.

Bebe is going to grow up to become a Gold Digger
At the beginning of the series, she seems smart and proud of herself, but then later uses the Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset, and then experimenting with getting high on cough medicine, and then dating Clyde to get shoes.

Kenny will eventually get some girl pregnant
It seems all of the characters are starting to go through problems growing up, and Kenny, since he is always so horny, will be faced with teen parenting/pre-teen parenting.

Kenny will become/is already a Memetic Sex God.
He's a Lovable Sex Maniac with Shonen Hair, and the Ensemble Darkhorse alter ego of Combine this with the popularity of anime-style South Park, and this has a lot of potential to become a fangirl magnet.

Guess the sexual orientation/identity of the characters!

 * Stan Marsh - Bicurious. Probably leaning on homosexual (his Ho Yay with Kyle is epic), and he does have his relationship with Wendy (but it isn't as chemically strong as him and Kyle)
 * Kyle Brofloski - Gay. We haven't seen him have a relationship with a girl, and has a Ho Yay-rich relationship with Stan(and, though he hates to admit, Cartman.)
 * Jossed as of "Cartman Finds Love" considering he was legitimately interested in Nichole and was more than a little pleased at all the attention the girls were giving him before finding out the reason being that Cartman floated a rumor of them being a gay couple to keep him from hooking up with Nichole and allow for Token Minority Couple to take place. Kyle's not likely to ever be the Lovable Sex Maniac that Kenny is, but he does show occasional interest in girls.
 * Eric Cartman - Depraved Bisexual, with gender issues. May want to become a woman in the future.
 * Kenny Mc Cormick - Straight, Lovable Sex Maniac.
 * Butters Stotch - Camp Straight. Or possibly asexual. He really doesn't have any ideas of adult stuff like sexuality so it's tough to judge, but he does seem to like girls.
 * I see all of them as being straight, except maybe Stan (Word of God said he's the most likely to be Bisexual but the reasoning way pretty stereotypical) . Right now they're just 10 year olds.

Stan is a Chaotic Neutral.
He is basically this personified in South Park. He doesn't feel to strong about anything specific and feels pretty indifferent towards the concept of morality. He doesn't possess any good or bad intentions and is sometimes the hero in the show and even the Big Bad as seen in "The day after tommorrow" and "The mystery of the urinal deuce". If he's not any of those he's just another neutral bystander that happens to possess an opinion.

When Butters grows up, he'll become the most successful Pimp in Colarado. And contend with Cartman.
Again. Yeah, I like Butters a LOT.
 * Watch "Butters' Bottom Bitch". Where Cartman manipulates people with fear and using their own ignorance, Butters is so kind and sweet and understanding that he can even make good friends with frickin' prostitutes and can make them a successful business because they are loyal to and trust him. When he grows up and understands sex a bit better, he'll do it again and make good money out of it. I mean, he worked out the basics of the business all by himself; the real Pimps just added to his verbatim and helped him make the step up to real hoes.
 * Do you know what I am saying?
 * I expect Kenny to work for him. He may even be his bottom bitch.

The Cult of Cthulhu has been masterminding all the stupidity of South Park and Kenny's
The Cult of Cthulhu wanted to make sure that, when Cthulhu rises, he gets the job done. To do so, they needed to ensure no-one was smart enough to pull a Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu? on them, so they've spent their time lowering the collective intellect of mankind. Notice how certain characters like Randy Marsh were once intelligent, but now have become Too Dumb to Live. Blame the Cult.

They've also been lowering our intelligence with various authoritaHs. Mr Garrison was used to wear away our learning capabilities, Officers Barbady and Harrison to weaken our forces, and manatees to weaken our imagination. Speaking of imagination, the terrorists got ahold of Imaginationland and thanks to the Cult. Jesus, Santa, Satan and even God? They aren't. The only gods are the Outer Gods, and these figures are beings from Imaginationland.

Kenny serves as the Soul Jar of Cthulhu. Why is he Because he carries the soul of Cthulhu. The reason? If someone ever manages to kill Cthulhu, he'll regenerate as a lich. And, given the nature of the undead, being attacked by nukes will empower the zombie Cthulhu. However, they also knew Cthulhu could take them out. The solution? Find a way to take out Cthulhu. Since Kenny is Cthulhu's Soul Jar, if Cthulhu kills him, it'll backfire.

In short, the Cult of Cthulhu are a group of Dangerously Genre Savvy magnificent chessmasters. Thankfully, they do have enemies. There are another group of cultists, led by the Elder Gods(likely Kthanid and Nodens). They've been doing their best to thwart the Cult of Cthulhu, by bringing forth sanity. The Elder Gods have mated with humans in order to produce people to fight Cthulhu. These include H.P Lovecraft(hence why he knows about such entities), Bradle Biggy and Eric Cartman(he )

Kenny is an illegitimate child.
Nobody else in his family has blond hair. And it's not like Mr. and Mrs. McCormick are really devoted to each other.

There will be an episode with Kenny and Ms Cartman.
I say this because one is the town slut and Cartman's mom and the other is a Lovable Sex Maniac. I would find it funny if done right.
 * I can totally see this happening, as a sort of revenge for all the crap Cartman has said to/put Kenny through over the years.

Predictions for the jobs taken by the students when they grow up.

 * As mentioned above, when Butters grows up, he'll be a sucsessful pimp.
 * Kenny will be the world's greatest porn star.
 * Snuff porn, it'll be so popular because the feds will be convinced it's faked.
 * Cartman will become the President/King. He's a major Magnificent Bastard, so I can expect him to get the votes.
 * Stan would either become a vet as an adult or an ecoterrorist.
 * Kyle will stick with something computer or tech related. If his parents try to push the family business on him he would threaten philosophy.

Kenny is Captain Jack Harkness.

 * Jack can't die, but he can age. He wanted to stay young longer, so, he reverted himself to a baby, erased his memories, and went to South Park around the 90's. When he gets to a certain point, he'll find a way to get back his memories.

Kyle has Psychic Abilities, but does not believe in them himself.

 * Tooth Fairy 2000 has Kyle read huge amounts of existential philosophy and manages to remove himself from the field of reality.
 * Later, he spends an entire episode trying to dismiss Cartman's psychic abilities (and psychics in general) only for the episode to end with his outburst triggering a power surge.
 * Kyle tends to believe in scientific or logical explanations for the happenings around him. Even if he had such powers, he'd dismiss them as mere coincidence.

Season 16 will have the boys move on to 5th grade finally.

 * Recent seasons have had episodes, starting with season 12's "Pandemic" up to season 15's "You're Getting Old" has had multiple mentions of the boys reaching or being ten after years of inconsistency on the matter.
 * Season 15 kicked this into high gear with several episodes focusing on one of the boys growing up. Stan had "You're Getting Old" and "Assburgers", Cartman's was disturbingly portrayed in "1%" and the season finale, "The Poor Kid" is largely considered this for Kenny. The only two of the main boys to not have a growing up episode is Kyle and Butters.

Butters possesses the Element of Kindness
And adding to that;
 * Element of Laughter: Jimmy
 * Element of Honesty: Gary Harrison (All About the Mormons)
 * Element of Loyalty: Stan
 * Element of Generosity: Token
 * Element of Magic: Kenny


 * I actaully think Kyle makes a good Element of Honesty.
 * Him or Craig due to him never blindly follows people and take control of his life like in "Pandemic"

Headed on town to Panem, gonna have ourselves a time...
The Capitol is South Park, Colorado. The first President of Panem was Eric Cartman, who finally and successfully seized power. He then began his plan to re-locate and separate the hippies, gingers, Jews, etc. District 1 got all the hippies, which is why they have silly names like Glimmer and Marvel, and he punished them by forcing them to make spurious luxury goods.
 * Likewise District 11's recreation of Southern slavery.

Kenny's mom is his Soul Jar.
Consider that, whenever Kenny dies, he's literally reborn from his mother. Ms Mc Cormick is a living Soul Jar for Kenny(probably because ). She might have some level of control over this-when Kenny died via muscular dystrophy, Kenny's mom used her strength of will to let Kenny rest. At least until she starts missing her a whole bunch, of course. Kenny may actually know this, but doesn't do anything about it because Kenny isn't the kind of guy to kill his mom. Even freaking Cartman loves his mom! It's possible that Ms Mc Cormick is immortal due to the Cult(read my "Cult of Cthulhu rules everything" WMG), however, if she isn't, it means that Kenny may eventually stay dead(hopefully). In the meantime, there's drugs and sex for Kenny.

There will be an Anime-style high school episode of South Park.
It would be a nice nod to the fan's love of college-aged members of the main characters, and an anime style.

Randy Marsh is, to an extent, Obfuscating Stupidity.
There is some stupid in there, of course(this is South Park after all), but it is possible that he's isn't a complete idiot. It's been revealed that many of the wacky adventures he's had are just to cover the fact he's unsatisfied with his life. Given that these adventures highlight his "stupidity", I posit that he is, at best, The Ditz. Randy takes the view that "ignorance is bliss", and feels that if he acts Too Dumb to Live, it might help him get over the suckiness of his life.

Butters/Professor Chaos will get back at his parents.
He's already becoming quite badass, having become The Messiah to the Mexicans. "The Tale of Scrootie Mc Boogerballs" shows that he's growing a backbone, so I don't think he's going to take their crap forever. I can see Mr and Mrs Stotch ground him for doing nothing wrong in any way(as opposed to ground him for some minor inconvenience. Cue Butters realizing what his parents really are, and eventually leading them to a Humiliation Conga that makes them treat him better.
 * He's already done a lot to get back at his family. He stops taking the pointless punishments as of "The Ungroundable" and his ultimate CMOA may be his Take That speech to his Bullying grandmother.

Stan is starting to take after his father.
Recent seasons (14 onward )has Stan being much less of the Straight Man and have had him take a few levels in Jerkass. He's engaged in ecoterrorism, become an alcoholic, exploited Butters for a video that would make him famous (and subsequently jack off in San Diego, and subject his friends to a boring trip to get a 5th gen Ipod Nano.
 * Contrast from seasons 5-14 where he was consistently the Only Sane Man, particularly to his father.