NCIS/Quotes

"TSA Agent Dennis: NCIS? That anything like CSI?

Tony:: Only if you're dyslexic."

"Gibbs: Some idiot smuggled a koala onto a submarine. Grab your gear!"

"Kate: I can't give him Air Force One's floor plans, they're top secret!

Gibbs: Come on, Agent Todd. I saw all this in a Harrison Ford movie."

"Ziva: [at the copy machine] Die, you stupid machine!

McGee: She seems unfazed.

Tony: Those are standard Mossad-style copy machine assault tactics, McGee. She's fine."

"Franks: My brother and I married the same woman twice.

Gibbs: Twice?

Franks: She was a hell of a woman, Probie!"

"Tony: Suspect is claiming he went to bed with one woman and woke up with another.

Abby: That happens to girls too. At night some guy seems all dark and gnarly, then you wake up and his tattoos are fake and he works in a bank.

Tim: I used to work at a bank.

Abby: Your tat is real. And you don’t disappoint me."

"Ziva: What's the matter, Tony? Afraid of a little pussy...cat?"

"Tony: You have thirty seconds to live, Saleem.

Saleem: You're still bound. You're lying.

Tony: I can't lie, and I didn't say I was the one who was going to kill you. Remember when I told you my boss was a sniper? "

"Ziva: Oh! My first time was in a weapons carrier!

Abby and McGee: Of course it was."

"[after surviving a car bomb]

Tony: Boss? You remember when I said I never felt better? [Beat] I lied."