Desert Heat

A delightful 1999 Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicle about an ex-solider named Eddie Lomax. Haunted by the memories of what he's done, Eddie takes a trip to visit his old friend Johnny Sixtoes to deliver a motorcycle and request his permission to commit suicide. On the way, his bike breaks down and he's beset by the Hogan boys who shoot him, steal his motorcycle, and leave him for dead. Being JCVD, this merely pisses him off and, after being found and nursed back to health by Sixtoes, sets off to retrieve the bike and kill the Hogans, and a whole slew of folk who get in the way.

"Matt: "Why are you ridin' me and Jesse so much and never Petey?"
 * A Threesome Is Hot
 * Awful Truth - See Parental Favoritism below. Really should not have asked.
 * Bullet Dancing
 * Chekhov's Gun - The fighter jets performing drills introduced early in the film distracts the last remaining Hogan boy in the climax.
 * Cleanup Crew - Of the one-man variety. Services provided by Jubal Early.
 * Corrupt Hick - The Hogans.
 * Dirty Old Woman - Dear old Rose Delvecchio, in addition to being a bit of a boozer, seems pleased as punch to watch Eddie have loud sex with two blonds while sipping her liquor straight from the bottle with a straw.
 * Disposing of a Body - From the back of a dumptruck to the bottom of a canyon.
 * Divide and Conquer - Lampshaded by Johnny Sixtoes.
 * Driven to Suicide - Eddie is driven by the memories of atrocities committed by him during an unnamed war. But not before he gets permission from his old friend Johnny.
 * Everyone Loves Blondes
 * Fake Brit - Pat Morita's character, though more so in his choice of slang term than in his actual accent.
 * Hey, It's That Guy! - Pat Morita as Jubal Early and Danny Trejo as Johnny Sixtoes.
 * Ho Yay - That's a mighty fine footrub you're giving JCVD there, Danny Trejo.
 * I Meant to Do That - After walking into the diner door leaving, Eddie covers up his embarrassment by laughing.
 * Incredibly Lame Pun - "He sure finished off that pig, Spider. He just killed him like a bug."
 * Love At First Sight
 * Magical Native American - Johnny Sixtoes.
 * Neck Snap
 * Nobody Here But Us Birds - In the firm of coyote calls.
 * Parental Favoritism - Ramsey Hogan clearly favors one child over the other two.

Ramsey: "I love Petey 'cause I loved his mother. She died giving him birth. He's our love child."

Matt: "What about me and Jess?"

Ramsey: "You two are the unfortunate results of some recreational fucking back when fucking was fun."

Matt: "... geez."

Ramsey: "Get over it.""


 * Rescue Sex
 * Roaring Rampage of Revenge - It's initially started when the Hogans shoot Eddie and steal his motorcycle. Really gets going when
 * Shout-Out - Made to Yojimbo, which this film is based on.
 * Spiteful Spit - After shaking down Eli's nephews, Jessie Hogan spits a large, fat stream of tobacco juice right on their floor.
 * Watching the Sunset