Keanu Reeves



""Whoa.""

- Keanu Reeves, in pretty much every movie he's ever been in.

""I'm sorry my existence is not very noble or sublime.""

- Keanu Reeves. It's sadder when you know how his life went.

Popular Canadian action star with very little range of facial or dialogue emotion, but a very precise and expressive physical style of acting. But none of that really matters because he knows Kung Fu.

Has been creatively showcased in his more prominent films as The Stoic Loner who possesses tremendous powers beyond the comprehension of mortals and is out to save the world. And Ted.

Popularly believed to be dumb (most likely due to his breakout role and shyness in interviews), he is actually ridiculously well-read and contemplative. He often talks about the philosophical meaning he sees in his characters, even the silly ones. He's also famous as an incredibly Nice Guy and purportedly one of the most normal, well-adjusted people in Hollywood. How far this is based on fact, only his friends can say, but one possible translation of his first name is "The Coolness", so...

As of January 15th, he's slated to play Spike Spiegel in the recently announced live-action adaptation of Cowboy Bebop produced by 20th Century Fox. Fingers crossed that he handles it better than Mark Wahlberg did with Max Payne... after all, he is a fan. Plus, check out that picture on the right - he looks like Spike, if nothing else.

Also seems incapable of making a movie without saying "whoa" at least once. See above quote.

He's a gifted comic actor, and his turns in The Gift and The Watcher show that he has a little-utilized or recognized talent for playing very scary, creepy heavies. Despite this, Hollywood insists on casting him as Leading Man Action Hero, contributing to his reputation for a limited range.

Has recently gained minor memetic status on a certain website after they discovered his history of being one of the biggest Woobies in Hollywood. Sniff.

Also rumoured to be an immortal.

He frequently wagers eleventy billion dollars.

Has starred in:
"Neo: Whoa! I'm, like, totally being sodomised by Big Daddy's drill! Bogus!"
 * Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure and its sequel (which is almost the opposite of his roles to come, and actually showed his best range).
 * A very very common way of parodying his later works is to have him acting like Ted from Bill and Ted rather than his usual monotone. For example, from The Spoony Experiment:


 * I Love You to Death
 * Speed
 * Point Break - He actually smiles in this one!
 * The Matrix and its sequels
 * Constantine
 * The Night Before
 * River's Edge
 * Young Again
 * Parenthood
 * Chain Reaction - playing an actual emotional student after a project for Hydrogen-based powers goes horribly awry. Played opposite Morgan Freeman.
 * The R Emake of The Day the Earth Stood Still
 * The Devil's Advocate
 * Johnny Mnemonic
 * Street Kings
 * Much Ado About Nothing - the Kenneth Branagh adaptation
 * The Watcher
 * The Lake House
 * Hard Ball
 * A Scanner Darkly
 * The Gift - playing against type as a rather frightening redneck and abusive husband.
 * Little Buddha - yes, he actually played Buddha. And a damn hot Buddha at that.
 * My Own Private Idaho - in which he actually did a pretty good job
 * ~Bram Stoker's Dracula~
 * A stage production of Hamlet.
 * The Replacements
 * The 1986 version of Babes in Toyland