Protest the Hero (fanfic)

""I don't know how to fight. And don't think that just because this is a fanfiction I won't get my ass kicked. The author is a sadistic sideways bitch and I bet as soon as I walk through these doors she's going to kick my ass. Life hates me.""

- Vivica Slamduck, the summary for Protest the Hero.

One day in Santa destroy at a strip club, someone's arm decided to fly across the dance floor and that's when life changed for the DJ Vivica Slamduck forever. After almost being killed over a ranking spot she didn't have, she was forcibly put into the UAA and now has to find her way out of the organization with the help of really insane, scary, ape shit assassins that she has no chance in hell identifying with. Sounds fun, yes? Protest The Hero is a No More Heroes fanfiction written by XxXChiharu-Chan-1000-SpringsXx

It's brilliant, hilarious, and has a colorful cast of characters that fit in well with the No More Heroes universe and canon characters show up as well.

This fanfic features examples of:
"Vivica: "Last chapter she said this was going to be written in Travis' point of view! I thought I was going to be able to take a day off from relaying events, but nooo. She just had to write me, of all people. She says it's because she's been writing in my narration since the first chapter and she doesn't want to change that, but I call bullshit!""
 * Absolute Cleavage: Vivica worked as a DJ at a strip club called "Dangerous Curves" before she became an assassin and dawned a pink, small halter-top vest. She complained about it exposing her chest in the first chapter.
 * Affably Evil: Jackalyn Aldaine is the nicest assassin Vivica says she's ever met. Jackalyn is very polite upon meeting her and is polite to everyone she meets. It's only during those times she's involved with a ranking's match does Jackalyn's true colors show. Vivica herself could also be another example of this trope giving the way she was introduced into the UAA. And to some extent, Sweet Tee.
 * Alliterative Name: Charlotta Cherry.
 * Anti-Hero: In the start of the story Vivica is adverse to killing but she soon starts to accept her fate and finds it easier to off people without questioning herself. Chiharu seems to be setting her up for this role, although its hard to tell with the silly nature of the story. As it stands right now, Vivica is a Type III antihero.
 * Awesome but Impractical: Jackalyn is able to hold her rocket launcher on her shoulder and it stretches for what appears to be yards if Vivica's narration is true and is extremely heavy. Jackalyn is small and would not have the muscle capacity to do something like that, especially if she's about 5'1" like Vivica says. In chapter six, Vivica kills a bear with sheet music. Game Over fights with a Wiimote and nunchucks that come with it. It is then thought to be believed that he killed dozens of people with a piece of plastic. Charlotta's goons are wild grizzly bears and she fights with a giant candy cane.
 * Awesome McCoolname: Vivica Slamdunk, Sweet Tee, the list goes on and on...
 * Ax Crazy: Jackalyn has episodes where in she will be disappointed in Vivica for no reason at all and threaten to kill her while smiling in her face. If anyone tries to make a move on Vivica they can kiss their life goodbye. Jackalyn will always be watching.
 * Badass Creed: "Travis Touchdown? The name's Pianissimo Maestro. I want to be number one."
 * Badass Normal: Spirit Fingers doesn't have any special abilities protecting her from other dangerous assassins unless you count her hula hoops
 * Jackalyn also counts for this trope. She doesn't use anything but her rocket launcher cane thing...
 * Sweet Tee? So far we've only seen him use brass knuckles.
 * Blood Knight: EVERY. ASSASSIN. IN THE STORY. Especially Jackalyn. Oh dear God Jackalyn...
 * Breather Level: If this story was a game, Game Over wouldn't have lasted three seconds.
 * Calling Your Attacks: Vivica does this.
 * Carnival of Killers
 * Caught with Your Pants Down: Charlotta managed to ambush Sweet Tee while he is in the bathroom, walk him on the top of Jackalyn's mansion and hold his junk hostage with a pair of pliers, daring the others to try and save him so it would give her a reason to push him off the edge, pliers still in tact.
 * Cleanup Crew: Vivica makes light of this during her tag team rankings match with Henry and screams at the men to get away from her while they attempted to get the blood and pieces of Rexxa's body off her face. The men from the UAA also make Jackalyn's garden exactly how it was and Vivica is confused as to how they manage to clean up everything so fast.
 * Code Name: Most assassins have one, but their real names are a rarity to come by. So far only two are known:
 * Vivica - Pianissimo Maestro
 * Charlotta - Peppermint Patty
 * Compensating for Something: There's something about Jackalyn's rocket launcher cane thing...
 * Dangerously Genre Savvy: Jackalyn tells Vivica that the protagonist never makes it alive out of 'their kind of story' and the author wants them to have a happy relationship with lots of kinky sex. Vivica's almost just as savvy but it takes a while for things to click in her head.
 * Dude, Where's My Respect?: Vivica demands this from everyone because she wants them to acknowledge her as a full-fledged assassin and not a noob because she has killed a good number of people and wants recognition for it.
 * Faux Affably Evil: Combined with her British accent and her politeness, it only enhances how insane Jackalyn is.
 * Genre Savvy: Done too many times to count.


 * Heroic Sociopath: Probably where Vivica is heading if she's not already there.
 * Martial Arts and Crafts: Let's see. A crazy lesbo with a giant rocket launcher cane thing, a pimp who puts a giant hole in whatever he punches, a loli who rides on the back of wild, somehow-trained bears and a woman who kills people with several sheets of paper that ride in the wind.
 * One-Scene Wonder: All of the assassins that haven't been given a central role have been killed as soon as they were introduced. They didn't survive the next chapter, which is to be expected but the author makes such good one hit wonder assassins that we're stuck wondering 'what if...' Game Over is a crowd favorite. People have been asking about a way to bring him back.
 * Painting the Fourth Wall: From the very start of the fanfic the wall has been painted in different colors. Vivica blatantly calls out the author for cruel injustice, Sylvia is too lazy to explain what happened between her and Henry to Vivica and tells her to 'ask the author'. Vivica insists often in her narration that the author doesn't like her, Game Over tells the author to play 'Sephiroth music' when the assassins fight him and Vivica even goes as far as to insult the author for her lazy formatting with the story's second chapter, saying the heading is slanted. Protest the Hero doesn't paint the fourth wall. It eats it.
 * Hilariously enough, the second chapter's heading is a little messed up.
 * Playing Tennis With the Boss: Spirit Fingers throws a ring blade at Jackalyn and Jackalyn deflects it with her cane and smacks it right back at her.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Vivica to Henry when he shows up to their tag team rankings match five minutes late.
 * Reference Overdosed: Zelda, Samuel Jackson, 'The Last Supper' painting, Ludacris, ect.
 * Rule of Funny: When it's a lolicon holding a pimp's nuts with a pair of pliers it's funny, but had it been the other way around...
 * What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?
 * World of Badass