Numb3rs/Funny

"Amita: What was that all about?
 * Every time Don starts bickering with a lawyer. Until he starts getting mad, that is...
 * Alan and Larry having to deal with the annual tradition of students dropping pumpkins frozen with liquid nitrogen from the University's rooftops.
 * Followed by Charlie's reaction when Alan and Larry decide "when you can't beat 'em, join 'em":

Charlie: The two great adult influences on my life are heading off to blow up pumpkins."

"David: (referring to a rope made of dental floss) It's 30 feet long...
 * In the episode 'Arrow of Time', several prisoners broke out using a rope made out of dental floss. Liz showed Larry, Charlie, and Amita the rope and this exchange took place:

Amita: Floss is sold in containers of 20 to 150 yards... (gets questioning glances) I'm an informed shopper.

Charlie: Just eyeballing the density of this rope, I'm thinking it's gotta be... 18, maybe 19 thousand feet.

Larry: 3 and a half miles of dental floss, even assuming an average container size of 50 yards...

Amita: Mm, 127 rolls of floss.

Liz: You guys find new and special ways to freak me out all the time."

"Alan: I - I have a little trouble picturing you as a hippie.
 * The end of the fourth season episode Graphic, featured this exchange between comic book artist Ross Moore and Alan Eppes:

Ross Moore: (surprised) Whaaat??

Alan: ... Right!"

"Megan: Oh my God, this is why you aren't supposed to text and drive!"
 * 'Black Swan' has a few good quotes when the team are breaking into a house full of bomb making equitment:
 * Megan has just crashed into the suspets car to detract them.

"Colby: Yeah. Colby, go down the elevator shaft. Colby, jump in the bay. Hey, Colby, climb the Sixth Street Bridge.
 * Colby is about to climb up the trellis to get into a upper floor window.

David I went out on the bridge with you, okay?"

"David: Why do they always run?
 * A good quote about the running gag:

Colby: 'Cause we wear suits, man. You always figure you can outrun a guy in a suit."

"Don: Yeah, I'm really happy she's back.
 * Alan being a dad raises a smile every now and again.
 * -->Alan: I hear Robin's back in town.

Alan: Did you tell her that?

Don: Not yet, not in words, no.

Alan: You know, it's guys like you that make Beyonce sing that "Single Ladies" song."

"Don: And this one's got a shrink to prove it"
 * -->Alan: Great! Now I have two jaded, world weary sons!

"Alan:Two sons that solve crimes and neither one cares."
 * After the house has been broken into and both sons are off to an crime scene:

"Charlie: I can't believe it. Right in the middle of my lecture!
 * Then he gets his own back later during Charlie's leature:

Alan: Charlie, I'm as embarrassed as you are

Charlie: You were snoring!"

"Charlie: You know I, I've been running expressions assuming a dog chasing a cat. But its actually a dog chasing a cat, chasing a mouse!
 * Charlie's example are good:
 * The one set in the artic and he's wearing an heavy coat.
 * The one in 'Jacked' at a card table where Charlie is wearing a card dealer's outfit with Don and the bad guy sitting at the table wearing tuxedos, sunglasses and smoking big cigars.
 * And occationally Charlie changes the anallogy:

Ian: I thought it was an airplane?!

Charlie: Oh well, cats and dogs work better now."


 * An episode in season 5, where the whole episode was rather bizarre (they were looking for a specific pair of shoes, for christ sake! Well, the shoes were worth like a quarter of a million dollars, but anyway...), but all of the wtf-ness of the episode was made up for entirely when at the end of the episode, when they've finally pinned the shoes.
 * David and Nikki attacking the guy built like a sumo westler and Liz beating him with a fire hoe.