Brian Regan



""Well, I'm Brian, B-R-I-V-O-L-B-N-the number seven and the letter Q!""

- Brivolbn7q Regan

Brian Regan is an American stand-up comedian. He's known for his consistently clean comedy style; he generally stays away from off-color humor and profanity. He bases all of his humor on common everyday occurrences such as ironing boards and buying juice. So what's so funny about this, you ask? See for yourself! He does a lot of material about his childhood and his own (often unfortunate) experiences at typically normal places such as the emergency room and the airport.

His stand-up routines have included Stupid in School, You Too And Stuff, Comedy Central Presents: Brian Regan, I Walked On The Moon, Standing Up, The Epitome of Hyperbole, and All By Myself. He's also performed on Late Night With David Letterman and Late Night With Conan O'Brien.

Brian Regan's comedy provides examples of:
""I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!""
 * All Crimes Are Equal - Subverted with his bit about MANSLAUGHTER!
 * Anti-Humor: "How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead."
 * Big Eater: When it comes to ice cream and Fig Newtons at least.

"I hate when you're trying to read something and you come across the expression "One thing led to another". What in the hell kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't that your job as the writer to tell me how this led to that? You can just throw that in there? "Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man on his application to art school. One thing led to another...and the United States dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan.""
 * Book Dumb: Brian and the Guy Against Reading.
 * Brick Joke: "Well, my uncle doesn't grow corn."
 * Captain Obvious: "Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is."
 * Distracted By the Shiny: When commenting on how car dealerships tie balloons onto cars, this is how he imagines the thought process of a person influenced by such a tactic must go like.
 * "Well, that's it for my day, I am heading hom-wwWHOOOOOA!!! Are those BALLOONS?! I don't know what they're tied to but I'm buying one!"
 * Fridge Logic: He uses an example with log trucks. "Sometimes you're driving on the highway, and you see two trucks loaded up with logs, and they pass each other. Now if they need logs over there... and they need 'em over there... you'd think a phone call would save a lot of problems!"
 * Fun with Acronyms: A person texts Brian "LMAO". Brian's Response: "LMNOP"
 * Hollywood Spelling: "Aymie"
 * It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": "Hey there, Caro...lyn." "It's Caroline, Brian."
 * "It's Brai-yown."
 * Left It In: During the "Horses" bit on All By Myself, Brian keeps cracking up during the joke, interupting himself (mainly due to the ridiculousness of his lazy horse impression). Eventually he says "This jokes not going to make it on the CD, I can tell."
 * Motor Mouth: The monster truck driver.
 * My Nayme Is: His bit about "Aymie". See Spell My Name with an "S" below.
 * My Friends and Zoidberg: "My wife and I have two wonderful kids...and another kid."
 * Never Say Pain: His bit about doctors. They'll never tell you that someone is about to hurt...but they will tell you all about "pressure".
 * Not Helping Your Case: The bit about a guy who's against the concept of reading. Yeah, reading.
 * One Thing Led to Another:

""The big yellow one is the SUN!"
 * Sarcasm Mode: He sometimes goes here. In a bit about elementary school science projects, he mentions a student who did a model of the solar system.

"Well, you're breaking new ground there, Copernicus.""

""Brian, what is the plural for 'box'"?
 * Self-Deprecation: A lot of his routine is based on this, especially his bits about how stupid he was in school.

"...boxen. I bought two boxen of donuts.""

""Oh, A-M-Y?"
 * Serious Business: His bit on eye exams.
 * Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Try sending Brian a text message...
 * Simpleton Voice: Frequently, usually when playing his younger self or any generic stupid person.
 * Small Name, Big Ego: The "Me Monster"
 * Spell My Name with an "S"

"No, A-Y-M-I-E."

"Ughhh... I have to take a nap.""

""And the girth is...3"
 * Too Dumb to Live: People who don't get the "stand right, walk left" policy on moving sidewalks
 * Unit Confusion:

"Three what?"

"3...girth units""


 * What Do You Mean It's Not Awesome?: WALKIE TALKIE!
 * What Measure Is a Non-Human?: "Who cares? Just dumb ol' donkeys."