Half-Life (series)/Haiku

Glasses, a crowbar And a PhD that he Never gets to use. "-- Tacitus"

Quiet protagonist I can see what you did there Checking out her ass. "-- X-File"

Headcrabs everywhere The only solution here Crowbar them to death. "-- KingSonnDeeDoo"

Plot for Half-Life 2 Written with many haikus Warning of Spoilers

Seven hour war Humanity has fallen Freeman is our hope

A red letter day Boarding Nova Prospekt train Freeman has returned

Get to Kleiner's lab Housing complex is raided Miscount detected

Get help from Alyx Decision to leave the city Teleport testing

Teleport gone wrong Civil Protection abound Here is your crowbar

Trainyard to canals Combine in over their heads Gordon cuts a swath

Airboat for transport Resistance is mounting fast Hunter Chopper down

Safety finally Made it to Black Mesa East Freeman gets The Gun

Combine sneak attack Tunnel collapse cuts you off Go through Ravenholm

Zombies are coming Once more, Gordon cuts a swath "To the mine, brother!"

Ascending from hell Dodge the snipers and soldiers Winston has gone down

Catching a breather Alyx relays the bad news Eli was captured

Take the dune buggy Station Six to Lighthouse Point Freeman is coming

Highway Seventeen Barricades and ambushes Break through to freedom

Pin guard to billboard Shut down the force field power Climb under the bridge

Arrive at Lighthouse Repel the the Combine attack Enter the Sandtraps

Stay off of the sand Vibrations drive them crazy Antlion Guard fight

Finish off the Guard Vortigaunt gets pheremones You control the bugs

Storming the prison Infiltrate Nova Prospekt Antlions distract

Meet up with Alyx Stand-offs with auto-turrets Locate Eli's pod

Find Doctor Mossman Confront her and recruit her Prepare teleport

Mossman betrays you Eli is taken with her Escape just in time

Appear in the lab You have been gone for a week Fighting in the streets

Into the firefight Rally the rebels to you Follow the Freeman

Snipers all over Short sprints into the building Say hi to Barney

Kill all the snipers Bring down the suppression gun Enter the Striders

Freeman has triumphed D0G opens the way inside The Freeman descends

Ride in on a pod Security malfunction The Gun becomes Death

Blast through the soldiers Gordon is unstoppable Take a pod upwards

Captured by Combine Breen gloats over his captives Mossman threatens him

Breen panics and fires The Gun destroys your prison The duo gives chase

Interrupt a call Breen flees and leaves you The Gun Too stupid to live

Climb the reactor Destroy vital components Breen is defeated

"Great job there Gordon! We have to get out of here Maybe we still have-"

"Time, Doctor Freeman?" G-Man puts you in stasis Rest until next time "-- dystopianScion"

“We’ll see about that,” Says the man with the brief case. Vortigaunts are cool.

Crowbar always pwns Various parasitic Zombifying crabs.

Grandchildren, he wants. You’re busy fighting Combine.

"-- bespectacled"