John Carter (film)/Funny

"John: What the-
 * The moment near the beginning where John lunges at the Union troops who've come to collect him...and is instantly knocked out. When he wakes up in a chair in front of a Colonel, John lunges at the officer, punching his would-be captors and...SmashCut to John back in the chair, now handcuffed. The Colonel starts talking, and John leaps up again!.
 * Even funnier? After the second Smash Cut, the Colonel's nose is bandaged.
 * "Virginia!"
 * John's attempt at escaping the Thark city. He edges away from the alien guard dog, and leaps up several stories, only to find the dog is right in front of him. So he does it again, and the dog is still in front of him when he lands, so he tries it again...
 * The scene where Kantos Kan makes John take him hostage was hysterical.
 * When John  and one of the guards tells them   Tars Tarkas then gives John a Dope Slap.
 * Becomes even funnier when you realize that with this scene, Andrew Stanton actually managed to have a John Carter of Mars film that includes the sentiment that, basically,
 * Tars Tarkas is just hilarious in the whole climax. What does he say when Not some ancient battlecry, or order to attack, just, "Thank the goddess that's over with!"
 * Tars Tarkas almost attacks Tardos Mors and Kantos Kan, then realizes he's fighting on their side, so... he salutes them (having learned the gesture from Carter). Stunned, they salute back. Then Tars lets out a battle cry and throws himself back into the fighting.
 * When John, in the heat of battle on the flying ships, tries to leap to his feet after being knocked down and inadvertently leaps into the air and straight into the ceiling.
 * John and Tars Tarkas' first reaction to each other:

Tars: (in Martian) Hell are you?"


 * John Carter is thrown into a cell with a badly beaten Tars Tarkas, who's too weak even to stand but comforts himself that at least his daughter is in the afterlife with her mother as John promised. John then hesitantly explains that his daughter is alive and also a prisoner -- an enraged Tars Tarkas gets to his feet and starts throttling John.