Space Ghost Coast to Coast/Funny

Are you getting enough oxygen, citizen?

No, I'm too busy laughing to catch my breath

"Willie Nelson: (to a bear) Hey, how ya doin', Tex?
 * From "Kentucky Nightmare":

Zorak: Eh, that bear's a Yankee.

Willie Nelson: Well, (bleep) him."

"Space Ghost: Dumb people haul trash around"
 * And from the same episode, Space Ghost's Version of "Space Cowboy"

"Space Ghost: Zorak, where's your nephew?
 * Zorak brings his nephew to work. And then eats him. And DENIES it. With the kid's headless corpse right there.
 * This beautiful exchange:

Zorak: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him.

Space Ghost: That's barbaric! (Beat) Is there any left?

Zorak: Lemme check. (looks off to the side) Nope.

Space Ghost: I'm gonna miss that little guy."

"Space Ghost: Who killed Walt Disney?! Beat With a wrench!"
 * "Living with you is like living in a living nightmare!"
 * One word. Flipmode.

"Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masquerade as eels and socked Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! Now, what about these beans?
 * The entire episode, really.

Moltar: Those must've fallen out of my hair.

Beat

Moltar: Well, you're just making all this BLEEP up!

Beat

Moltar: ...Oh, what? You're the only one that gets to make BLEEP up?

Beat

Moltar: *Sigh* ...Those are part of the dinner.

Space Ghost: No they're not. They're part of the plot.

Moltar: They were on the menu.

Space Ghost: Murder is on the menu!"

"Conan O'Brien. FACE IT SPACE GHOST! YOU'RE A SPACE MAN WHO CHOKED ON A MUFFIN!
 * Pavement, the episode written by Space Ghost himself.
 * Fire Ant: Space Ghost does his damnest to try to show Conan O'Brian that he's a genius...it doesn't work.

Space Ghost. THAT, SIR, IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I AM ALLERGIC TO MUFFINS!"

"SG: Okay Zorak I'm sick of this so do your stupid little pitch and get it out of your system!
 * This entry would be incomplete without mentioning the ant "chase" sequence in the full, uncut version of the episode. Space Ghost is bitten by an ant, then follows the ant out of the studio and across Ghost Planet. This sequence, when aired in full, takes ten minutes before it reaches its climax (and the end of the episode). There are no commercial breaks and the sequence is made up of Space Ghost following the ant while muttering to himself. The absurdity of the segment is enought to earn it placement here.
 * Another episode dealt with Space Ghost trying to butter up as many big shot hosts as possible. It goes well with one, (name escapes me) but he had a skunk spot and they try complimenting him on that.
 * Zorak: It looks like a third eye! Space Ghost: ZORAK! Moltar: Hey hey ex-nay on the third eyece. Zorak: I mean I like it...it's neat. Space Ghost: That's the nicest third eye I've ever seen! Guy: You like that huh? Big with the chicks.
 * Even worse SG was doing well...until he asked if his tongue ever got sore. It just fell apart right there faster than a stack of cards in a hurricane.
 * The guest was former host of "Talk Soup" Jon Henson.
 * Zorak constantly trying to sell his product, an ointment, constantly cutting into Space Ghost's interviews.

Zorak: Oh... um it's good... it's good ointment.

SG: ...Is that it?

Zorak: It's good ointment... ah, here put some on your scalp!

SG: No!

Zorak: Okay... it's your loss.

SG: SHUT UP!

Zorak: ...But see look at my pincer * gets blasted*"

"Merill: So where are you?
 * The episode where SG and the Council of Doom host a cooking competition. Zorak constantly reminds everyone that he wants the bones when hes done, one cook 'relaxes the chicken', another cook is blasted to smithereens because she won't cook for SG.
 * "You... killed the chicken."
 * "Jerk" where Space Ghost wants to do an 'Emmy-worthy' award show...and "Ten seconds and it's already in the toilet" and it gets worse from there somehow.
 * "Zoltran" where Space Ghost attempts to interview Merril Markoe only to have her rip him a new one on EVERY SINGLE SILLY THING ABOUT THE SHOW!

SG: I'm right here.

Zorak: No stupid she means 'in space'!

Merill: Are like 500 miles away from Jupiter or on the moon or something?

SG: Oh...I'm over here, Merrill.

Merill: You don't know what you're talking about do you? (she says that numerous times)

Zorak: * bursts into laughter*"

"Space Ghost: I AM THE KING!
 * The "Chambraigne" episode, the Chambraigne ad, Bob Costas narrating Space Ghost blasting Zorak off like a baseball gamed and completed with Gainax Ending

Space Ghost: YOU WANNA A PIECE OF ME? YOU WANNA A PIECE OF THE KING?!"

"Space Ghost: That was pitiful!"
 * The Christmas episode. Especially the 12 Days of Christmas.

"Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my pincer.
 * The episode "Joshua" demonstrates how a typical episode is made. The narrator explains that every joke is tested on a randomly-selected audience.

Audience: (silence)

Narrator: Oops, that line needs a little reworking.

Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my butt!

Audience: (a single man laughs)

Narrator: Looks like we've got a winner!"

"Space Ghost: You drink some water with YOUR ASS!"
 * "MY BUTT!"
 * You see, dames are like mustard. They taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich, they just sit there in the refrigerator.
 * ...on a shelf.
 * ...in a jar.
 * ...labeled...
 * ...mustard.
 * Idlewild South, where Space Ghost gets drunk. Highlights include him riding the guest monitor like a cowboy, jumping on his desk and acting like it's a surfboard, and when Moltar (who gave him beer to begin with) suggests maybe he drink some water...

"Moltar: Mmmmm, barbequed shrimp."
 * "I too, banged a dog up the ass."
 * BAAAAANNNNNJOOOOOOO!!!

"Space Ghost: Zorak, this question is for you. (Zorak has an Oh Crap look on his face) I have a tattoo. Where is it, and what is it of?
 * This exchange, where Space Ghost plays a trivia game with his guests (with both the losers and the winners getting blasted)

Zorak: Um--

Space Ghost: WRONG! (blasts Zorak)"


 * Sweet for Brak, in which Tenacious D's performance of "Fuck Her Gently" gets censored at the last moment with a TERRIBLE acoustic cover of "Good King Wenceslas".
 * Many, many moments from Terminal. The scene in which Space Ghost imagines having a son (or a "Little Space Ghost" named Roy Allen) is one of the funniest and most demented things ever put on television.
 * "I DIDN'T HIT THE BALL TODAY!!!!"
 * "LET THE POWER OF PONCH COMPEL YOU."