Lucky Number Slevin/Funny

"Slow: Tell it to the one legged man so he can bump it off down the road.
 * Crowning Moment of Funny: Pretty much anything Slevin says, but if one had to pick a moment, it's when Elvis and Slow meet Slevin:

Slevin: ...

Elvis: ..."

"Elvis: Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the fuck your name is--the Virgin Mary herself could come waltzing up in here with her fine ass titties hanging out and everything and if she said your name was Jesus Christ, I still gotta take you to see The Boss. Know why?
 * Or shortly thereafter:

Slevin: No.

Elvis: Orders. Now, you do know what orders is, right? Orders is orders.

Slevin: So I guess no one ever taught you not to use the word you're defining in the definition.

Elvis: (punches Slevin in the gut) Say something else! I will break your motherfuckin' nose, I ain't playin' with you!

Slevin: My nose is already broken.

(cut to him with a bloody nose in the backseat of their car)"

"Lindsey: So what are you gonna say?
 * Another notable one:

Slevin: The same thing a man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or to the left.

Lindsey: ...What's that?

Slevin: Yes."

"Slevin: ...am I being mugged?
 * The back and forth between Slevin and the cops when they grab him off the street for a quick word is incredible. Like many of Slevin's conversations, it ends with him getting punched.
 * Slevin vs. the mugger. It's just plain priceless.

Mugger: (gives him an insolent glare and punches him in the nose)"

"Slevin: I thought he was the Boss.
 * The delivery of this line is nothing short of amazing.
 * "I'm a world class assassin, fuckhead."
 * The Boss is pretty damn scary and intimidating, but he does have a knack for being a Deadpan Snarker.

The Boss: (glances at his bodyguard) Why? Do we look alike?"

"Lindsay: I wanted to try and catch the next show.
 * A Funny Background Event: The entire time the Boss is explaining Slevin's troubling predicament, Slevin is trying to pour himself a glass of water. It seems to exasperate the hell out of the Boss if you watch his facial expressions.
 * Lindsay and Slevin's entire adorable conversation about James Bond. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
 * Slevin accidentally flashing Lindsay is funny enough, but the scene is immediately topped when Lindsay rushes back into the apartment a second time to try and catch another look. The smug look on Slevin's face is priceless.

Slevin: I don't go on again until eight."