My Inner Life/Drinking Game

manwithoutabody came up with two drinking games for the legendary badfic My Inner Life while doing a Dramatic Reading. The easier of the two is the plot points version:
 * Whenever there's a sex scene, you drink.
 * Whenever there's a Costume Porn scene, you drink.
 * Whenever you come across an unnecessary Triforce symbol, you drink.
 * Whenever Jenna develops a new power at exactly the right moment, you drink.
 * Whenever a plot point is introduced, then wrapped up within the same chapter, you drink.
 * Whenever a canon character's name is misspelled (particularly Ganondorf), you drink.
 * Whenever there's a blatant contradiction of Zelda canon, you drink.
 * Whenever a character makes some sort of personal sacrifice just for the benefit of Link and Jenna's relationship, you drink.
 * Whenever someone boots the horses in the legs, you drink.
 * Whenever Dalamar tells them to "Hurry up! We must make hast!", you drink.
 * Whenever the word "dead" or "cold" is used in an illogical context, you drink.
 * Whenever Jenna cries tears of either joy or sorrow.

But if you really hate your liver, there's the "key words" version:
 * Whenever you see the phrase "sheer ecstasy" or "heavenly naked body," drink.
 * When she uses "threw" instead of "through" or "minuet" instead of "minute," drink.
 * Whenever someone's eyes "grow big as saucers" or "widen in shock," drink.
 * Whenever someone's face goes "white as a sheet," drink.
 * Whenever "so" is spelled with two o's, drink.
 * Whenever someone says, "Oh my goddesses!", drink.
 * If a line of dialogue is "sneered," you drink. If it's "said," drain the whole cup.
 * Whenever there's a reference to Link's eyes, drink.
 * Every reference to tigers in a sexual capacity, you drink.

Rytex would like to make a contribution.
 * Every time it is stated or implied that Jenna is given something that a non-Hylian would never have (e.g. The Ocarina of Time, a position in the Royal Family, etc.), take a shot. Drain the cup if if Link used to own it.

Fofa has an idea.
 * Every time Link Jr doesn't act like a baby his age (or at all), take a shot. If you're at the point where he's doing math at four months, drain the cup.