Victorious/Funny

This is where you describe all of Victorious's funny moments.

Season 1
"Cat: "My name's Cat."
 * Thank you, Catherine Obvious.
 * ...It's Captain Obvious.
 * Catherine could be a captain!
 * Kathryn Janeway!
 * Cat's introduction:

Tori: "Oh, like the animal!"

Cat: "WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?"

Tori: "...Nothing. I love cats."

Cat: "Me too, they're so cute..." -walks off-"

"Rex: Paces!? Man, this girl's not a pirate!"
 * In the extended version on iTunes and that aired after the Kids Choice Awards, this line is spoken by Rex:

"Trina: "We'll I'mplode!""
 * Robbie and Trina's Submarine scene

"Andre: "She's afraid of everything. *reads a list culminating in "Rabbis, bikinis and breakfast food*
 * Cat and Trina's road trip rap.
 * The full version finally shows up in "Driving Tori Crazy".
 * It was funny when Trina was singing "You're the reason" off key, it's funnier when the studio execs cut off the sound and all you can see are the motions.
 * This exchange between Andre and Tori

Tori: "So if she saw a rabbi wearing a bikini eating pancakes?"

Andre: The woman would burst into flames."

"Tori: Jade.
 * When Tori is asking around the table for Birthweek present ideas for Trina:

Jade: Yeah?

Tori: What should I get Trina for her birthweek?

Jade: Talent."

"Mamaw: "MAURY! TURN UP THE HEAT!"
 * This between Robbie's grandparents.

Maury: "NO!""

(...) "Mamaw: "MAURY! ROBBIE'S SCREAMING AT ME!"

Maury: "I'M HUNGRY.""

"Robbie: I told you to stop watching Fox News!
 * Rex again...

Rex: No! It's fair and balanced."

"Beck: You juiced my pizza.
 * And in the same episode:

Cat: Why chew what you can DRINK?

(Robbie enters the scene in a natural, oblivious manner.)

Robbie: Sup, my peeps! How's everyone doing this fine day? (to Andre) Do you really need that much ketchup?"

""NOBODY LIKES YOU!""
 * Pretty much everything Rex says...
 * Jade uses this line twice in response to being annoyed by Trina's presence.

"Sneak Peek Version: "Yeah, ain't nobody like you!"
 * Called back in "Terror on Cupcake Street" where Rex adds his two cents..

Broadcast Version: "Yeah, you're a nuisance!""

"Tori:"Yeah, yeah - NOW you like my tiny fan, don't ya?""
 * After being teased/insulted over the size of her portable fan, Tori says that she just won't turn it on, and everyone shouts for her to use it:

"Robbie: "These fish mock me.""
 * Being trapped in an RV hinders your sanity...

""I swear on my mother's face, you are like NINE different kinds of attractive."
 * Cat's Random Thoughts. In order: her real name, her grandmother's fudge, the guy filming her, the pink tape on her hairdryer, flirting with her hairdryer, pretending her hairdryer is a laser gun, fitting her big toe in her mouth, eating fries, "look I'm upside down now!", her impression of a baby lamb, lamb chops, more baby lamb, the end.
 * Jade and Beck in Drive-By Acting Exercises. Well... mostly Jade.

"One day if I get married and I have a child, I want to take that baby, my own little baby child. I want to let him to take a nap on your gorgeous abs. That's how impressed with your abs I am, my friend. And even if you get fat one day, if you eat like a pig for nine years and gain, I don't know 1400 pounds, I won't care because I know those phenomenal abs are buried somewhere under all that fat.""

"Trina: I keep getting fan mail. I don't even open it anymore.
 * This exchange on TheSlap:

Tori: Well, I opened it. It was a letter from the dentist. You have an appointment next week.

Trina: How do you delete comments?"

"Mamaw: "Why did you do that to your hair?"
 * Mamaw's Thoughts about Cat's hair color:

Cat: "What? You mean the color"

Mamaw: "Do you hate your mother?"

Cat: "I love my mother!"

Mamaw: "A girl doesn't dye her hair that color unless she has psychological problems."

Cat: "My hair color has nothing to do with my psychological problems!""

"Cat: Is happy!
 * Another one from TheSlap.

Jade: Why?

Cat: Why what?

Jade: Why are you happy?

Cat: I'm not. I'm actually really sad today. (Just heard that flies live for only ONE day). :(

Jade: Then why does your status say "Is happy!"?????

Cat: Oh, that was a typo."

"Tori: So, you guys formed a fake ping pong team so you could get some money, buy a trophy for the school, save the principal's job, and take Sikowitz out for a big fancy dinner?
 * The flashback scene in The Great Ping-Pong Scam.

Andre: (pause) Yeah, I guess we could've just told it that way."

"Sikowitz: This is what happens when you mix teenagers and hot cheese. I warned you."
 * Trina throwing Rex across the classroom in Jade Dumps Beck.
 * From Cat's New Boyfriend

"Jade: "Does it hurt?"
 * Also when he serves Tori a sausage, she asks what meat it was made from, and he simply laughs hysterically, takes Tori's hand, and dances a little until Tori runs away.
 * From the same episode:

Robbie: "No."

Jade: "Awww...""

"Tori: Sweet potato fries are the greatest food EVER invented. I DARE you to name something better.
 * Yet more from TheSlap:

Trina: Me.

Tori: You're not a food.

Trina: I'm better than food."

"Cat: "Bonk. Bonk. Hey this works! Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk! I'm Cube-Fist Man!! Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk Bonk!""
 * EVERYTHING Trina does in Freak The Freak Out - so much so that the entire episode is actually a combined Large Ham, A Day in the Limelight and Lower Deck Episode episode for Trina, and a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Daniella Monet.
 * A singing Sikowitz, ending his song by having himself splashed with a deluge of water at centerstage. Sikowitz is HARDCORE.
 * Cat's various interactions with the mean girls (and Jade's commentary about them) were also hilarious. And Cat and Jade discussing their weekend plans in class. And the food decision. Probably the funniest episode of the series overall.
 * Cat and Jade's exaggerated/sarcastic 'who knew?' reactions to Tori throwing off her disguise.
 * Cat in the Mental Ward (especially with the blocks) in Rex Dies.

"Cat: "Did any of the rest of us get parts?"
 * Cat and Sikowitz earlier in the episode:

Sikowitz: "Awh... Is a certain little redhead hoping she got a role in teacher's play?"

Cat: (adorably) "Heeheehee... She is..."

Sikowitz: "Well, she didn't.""

"Tori: Is that Angelina Jolie!??!
 * When they go to a Chinese restaurant, the hostess has pictures of her on the wall with famous people.

Hostess: Yes. She ordered Wonton soup and tried to adopt my daughter."

"Hostess: What's it about?
 * From the same episode:

Tori: A girl falls into a well and drowns from her own tears."

"Hostess: JUST HIDE THE BODY AND DON'T SAY NOTHING TO NOBODY...
 * Also:

Everyone: O_O"

"Sikowitz: How would you teenagers like to do something for money?
 * The Diddly Bops had tons of these, actually.
 * Sikowitz addressing the class:

Tori: (after a pause) Can we have some details first?"

"Tori: What is wrong with you?
 * Robbie's entire "broken glass" song.

Jade: I like it."

"Cat: (hurt) Rex told me to shut up!
 * Cat singing the Waggafuffles song.

Sikowitz: Yes. Thank you, Rex."

"Tori: I grew those in my garden!
 * Andre sings a song about how everybody has a nose, to which Jade replies "My grandpa's nose was blown off in a war, so that song is a filthy lie."
 * Jade cutting up Tori's flowers.

Jade: They're lovely. (snips entire flower off the stem)"

"Sikowitz: This is a very nice thing you guys are doing here.
 * Backstage before the performance:

Tori: Yeah, yeah. Thousand bucks, right?"

"Robbie: We're gonna sing about your favorite foods!
 * While they're performing as the Diddly-Bops:

Henry: Sing about dinosaurs!

Beck: (in overly-happy voice) No!"

"Sinjin: Do another song!
 * Then after the song:

Beck: (in overly-happy voice) No!"

"Jade: Hate this!
 * During the song (sotto voice):

Tori: Thousand bucks!

Jade: Not enough!"

"Trina: Oh my God, they're filming something."
 * At the end of the song Jade says "We did this for money"
 * Jade to Sikowitz: "I'll give you this dollar to get to the point."
 * "I can't take your money ... (pockets dollar)"
 * Tori: "Apparently we're the Diddly Bops!"
 * The vitriol with which everyone (particularly Jade) sang the line "chicken nuggets make me lose control" still puts this troper in stitches dozens of views later.
 * From The Wood:

"Trina (to Beck) Smell my arm. No perfume. That's my natural scent.
 * This little gem:

Producers (later saying no to Trina) Because you reek of desperation.

Beck That's her natural scent."

"Tuna fish, flowers, giggling, the word 'panties,' cilantro, rainbows, ducks...man, I hate ducks, cramps, string cheese, clocks, wet doorknobs, bras that hook in the front, the color yellow, carpeting..."
 * Jade describing what she hates during her The Wood interview:

"Teacher: Tori, can you make your sister leave?
 * While not in an episode, this recent one on Theslap.com where Tori is requested to scare Trina seven times I thought was quite amusing.
 * Trina telling Robbie that she tested the deep-fryer on Rex's foot. Robbie's scream when he finds she wasn't bluffing is what seals it.
 * From A Film By Dale Squires:

Tori: Trina, stop embarassing me or I'm gonna embarass you.

Trina: Don't threaten me!

Tori: When Trina was six, our family went to the mall just before Christmas-

Trina: DON'T SAY IT!

Tori: And she peed.

Trina: TORI!

Tori: On Santa Claus.

Trina: (makes embarassed sound and leaves)"

"HOW IS THAT FUNNY!?"
 * The end of the episode when Andre's cousin Kendra lashes out at Dale and fends off the security guards, while Mack Murphy laughs and continues recording.
 * Cat's bizarrely spot-on Seinfeld impression. I was in absolute stitches.
 * To relieve the tension after Tori accidentally get Beck fired from his acting job, Andre gets a keyboard to play background music to act out everything happening around.
 * When Tori panics when Jade is coming to their table, Andre plays music fitting for a villian. Jade's amused smirk is what does this Troper
 * In Sleepover at Sikowitz's, Tori's parents' Serious Business attitude towards Terms of Endearment and their bewilderment of Tori's friends viewing it as a comedy.

"Jade: What up with the disco!?
 * The various characters the group play in that episode.
 * From Tori the Zombie:

Sinjin: I'm sorry! I hit the wrong thing!

Jade: No! 15 years ago your mother gave birth to the wrong thing!"

Season 2
"Jade: You must feel pretty stupid right now.
 * From Beggin' On Your Knees:

Beck: Okay, that's a time out.

Jade: No! I was just-

Beck: GO SIT ON THE STEPS!"

"Cat: I'm Cat, International Spy!"
 * And those harmonizing quartets who would butt in at random times. Reminded me of when Drake and Josh had those moments when the boys would harmonize "Noooooooo...".
 * "DON'T BE A WEENIE!" That is all.
 * Cat's costumes from Beck Falls for Tori, especially the Sikowitz one.

"Jade: Yeah, if you get sick....or go missing...or GET HIT BY A BUS!!!!!
 * (Talking about being Tori's understudy)

Tori: Umm...She can't drive a bus right?"

"Andre: No, no. You're not invited to the party that I don't know what you're talking about."
 * "And so I'm not a captain, I'm a pretty little salmon..." *thud*
 * Cat and Jade reenacting the famous Titanic shot. With Cat as Jack with an overjoyed expression and Jade in her Steamboat Suzy outfit with a deadpan expression. I'm not the only one who laughed right?
 * The blood bag exploding on Tori and Robbie. Your just don't expect that much blood splatter on a kid's show.
 * "SINJIN, DO NOT LICK THE BALLOONS!"
 * "Only the people who help find the letters get to come!" "I DON'T TALK LIKE THAT!"
 * iParty With Victorious:

"Jade: Maybe you'll meet a handsome young doctor, get married and share a soda pop.
 * The Panda that keeps swatting Andre, Kenan Thompson, and in the behind features, Gibby's butts with a tennis racket.
 * Beck Falls For Tori:

Tori: I do not talk like a movie star from the 1940's!"

"Jade: Flirtatious hair-flipping...
 * Another one from that episode:

Tori: OK, I do not flip my hair flirtatiously.

Jade: Ohhh really...this doesn't look familiar? Why hello boys, my name is Tori Vega! Buy me some licorice and I'll give you a kiss!

Tori: I talk nothing like that. Seriously, do I talk anything like that?"

"Cat: Robbie let a bunch of little kids eat me.
 * The whole group then proceeds to do the fake accent routine.
 * From Ice Cream for Ke$ha:

Robbie: It's not my fault if dream children find you delicious!"

"Tori: Uh...go fish. (gets hit with a stick by one of the prisoners, then gets back up) ...That is not how we play Go Fish in America!"
 * In Tori Gets Stuck Tori offhandedly tells Jade to go to the infirmary and scare the newborn babies. Jade's response is to gasp happily, turn to the doctor and inquire as to the whereabouts of the babies.
 * Locked Up. Oh, where to begin?

""Wait, they have that?!""
 * The prisoners playing rocks with Beck and Andre. "HEY! WE TOLD Y'ALL WE DIDN'T WANNA PLAY ROCKS!"
 * After Jade is knocked on the ground, Cat comes over and says "Ew, Jade, you're outfit's all dirty," to which Jade replies, "Oh no, now I'll never win the prison beauty pageant!" Funny enough. But even better is Trina's response:

"Tori: ...Why can't I be pretty like you?"
 * The scene in which Tori's shoe hits the Chancellor is made so much better by the fact that Jade and André, upon realising the trouble, immediately run away.
 * Though they only did that because Liz and Leon were both under 18 at the time and could only work a certain amount of hours. Not that it takes away from anything...
 * In Helen Back Again, we have most of the re-audition scenes, like Cat's and Beck's. Trina, however...
 * Also Jade's if your tastes are twisted enough.
 * Who Did It To Trina?
 * Jade, Tori and Robbie's flashbacks.

"Robbie: Wait, I did kinda hear you tell Trina you were gonna kill her.
 * Cat gets a flashback too. Hers was to a Drake and Josh episode though.
 * In the same episode:

Cat: So did I. But if you're gonna try to kill me too, then all I heard was pretty music."

"Andre: Oh, come on, I know Tori and there's no way she'd ever...(checks phone) Aw, its Kiko! Tori's guilty, I gotta go!"
 * With friends like these:

"Robbie: It's fun to run. It's fun to play. It's fun to make things out of clay. It's fun to fill your car with gas. It's fun to break...Things made of glass. But broken glass can cut your hand. And then you'll bleed across the land. Ask any woman, child or man. The dangers that you'll have...With broken glass. With broken glass. But broken glass is not a food. So don't you listen to some dude. Who says put cheese on broken glass. And make a sand-a-witch...Out of broken glass!"
 * The entirety of the broken glass song.

"Robbie: You bought me a girl??? (claps hands excitedly)"
 * And it goes on.
 * A Christmas Tori

"Tori: I'm Andre's secret Santa, and I have like no clue what to get him.
 * Tori discusses Andre's gift.

Cat: Just get him a present!

Beck: Oh, my god...

Tori: Ok, help me, please! I don't want to give him the worst present, and then have to go Christmas yodeling with Sikowitz.

Jade: Two words.

Beck: I bet they won't be helpful.

Jade: Your problem.

Beck: I was right."

"Rex: What street are we on?
 * From Terror on Cupcake Street

Beck: Not Sesame Street.

Cat: I love Sesame Street! (starts singing) Sunny--

Jade: NO!!!"

"Sikowitz (ushering out the extras in the class): "I'm here all week. Tip the nurses and clowns."
 * Same episode

Season 3
"Principal Dickers: All right West, you just bought yourself another Saturday detention.
 * In "The Breakfast Bunch" a parody of The Breakfast Club, Robbie acting like Anthony Michael Hall, saying and crying "You're so conceited, Tori!" at random moments.
 * Cat: "What about the guy who landed on the moon? He said 'One small step for man', I would've just said 'Oh my God, I'm on the moon."
 * This:

Jade: Did I get a good deal on it?"

"Principal Dickers: Ohhhhhhhh, ho ho. I'm gonna make it shine. I'm gonna make it shine REAL good!"
 * Tori running around the halls singing Make It Shine loudly and off-key to distract Dickers. She then bumps into him and we get this:

"Principal Dickers: That's the last time, Vega. That's the last time you run around these halls singing about making things shine!"
 * Then after it returns from commercial break:

"Cat: And meeeeeeeeee!
 * Jade giving Cat and Robbie grief about never having eaten tacos and being vegans.
 * Pretty much the whole thing with the group being "high" off tacos.
 * Grumpy Gerbils.
 * "I think Andre's about to run dance!"
 * The end of that episode which tries to recreate the iconic final shot of The Breakfast Club with Tori reaching for the sky, only because she accidentally lets go of her balloon.
 * The parody of the ending letter in The Breakfast Club, especially Cat's part of it:

Rex: Cat, they can't see you, baby.

Cat: Oh (beat) it's Cat, bye!

Rex: Sincerely, the Breakfast Bunch. Even though we never had breakfast as a bunch."

"Beck: You did it!
 * In The Gorilla Club, this from after Tori beats the Balls of Pain:

Tori: Shoosh yeah, I did!

Beck: WHO'S A ROCKSTAR?!?!

Tori: MEEEEEEEEE!

Beck: Whoo! (they hi-five) You are definitely a real risk taker!

Tori: I know! And to prove it even more you know what I'm gonna do RIGHT NOW?!

Beck: WHAT?

Tori: I'm gonna use the bathroom HERE! (jumps)

Beck: ...Sitting?

Tori: (in a menacing voice) Sitting."

"Cat: Once my brother went to a home for troubled girls.
 * From that same episode, Trina getting knocked out by the giant delivery box at her front door after the Overly Long Gag of her reading the tracking number had this troper in stitches.
 * Cat's brother, again:

Tori: Why?

Cat: To meet troubled girls."

"Jade: Tori's not my friend, I only tolerate Robbie, no one likes Trina, and Cat's basically a pet.
 * From "The Worst Couple":

Cat: Arf!"

"Beck: We were voted worst couple. And the other two couples weren't even real couples. And one had Robbie in it!"
 * From the same episode:

"Cat: We're hanging out togeth-
 * This was from "Andre's Horrible Girl":

Jade: NO!!!"

"Jade: Yeah, you're boring."
 * When Tori asks if the gang can believe that she doesn't take risks:

"Tori: I admire how you're never afraid to say what you think.
 * In "Tori and Jade's Play Date":

Jade: That's stupid.

Tori: See?"

"Jade: Oh, I'm sorry, all I heard was "hamster, hamster, science, science, Tori's boring, kill me.""
 * From "Car, Rain and Fire":

""I CAN'T HELP IT!...It's so good.""
 * April Fools Blank: The opening scene where Mr. Belding knocks Tori to the floor, Cat blows a trumpet in Tori's face twice, and Sikowitz explodes.
 * Andre rushing in and urging Tori to take caution for war, then it becomes caution for a pop quiz. Then war again. And he runs off and starts to sing the National Anthem, but gets hit in the leg by an arrow.
 * Tori walking onto the set of iCarly and casually saying hello to Spencer like it's no big deal that she just walked from the janitor's closet in their school right into an apartment in Seattle.
 * Let's not forget to mention the whole Jade/Tori scene, starting with Jade dragging herself along the floor. That whole scene had this troper ROFLing everytime she thought of it for the rest of the week!
 * When they were accepting their award for Favorite TV Show at the KCAs, Matt Bennett just says into the microphone, "THANK YOU RUGRATS!" Which is most likely a shoutout to the same classic Nicktoon itself.
 * In "Tori Goes Platinum", Cat's addiction to bibble.

"(to Trina's attempt) "What have I done to deserve this torture?
 * Some of the head producer's reactions to the auditions:

(to Rex's) *speechless shock at the fact that he's watching a PUPPET audition*"

The Slap.com
"Beck: The best thing about dating Jade is not having to buy any Valentine's Day gifts. Saves me like $35 bucks.
 * This status message and response from The Slap:

Jade: You were only going to spend $35 bucks on me!!!! That's it. I want flowers and jewlery NOW!"

"Tori: Why on Earth would you have paparazzi?
 * Also from The Slap, Rex complains about the paparazzi that have been bugging him.

Rex: Cuz my face sells magazines, that's why!"

"Rex: No, I will not dress up like a leprechaun for your St. Patrick's day party. I have SOME respect, people!
 * Rex, again, showing he does have standards. Incredibly low standards, anyway.

Andre: How about for $20?

Rex: What time do you want me to show up?"

"Jade: Even if you get fat one day, if you eat like a pig for nine years and gain fourteen hundred pounds, I won't care, because I'll know those phenomenal abs are buried underneath that fat!"
 * The Drive-By Acting Exercises are always a hoot.
 * In this one Jade and Beck play the a "weirdo" fast food worker and a guy trying to place an order, respectively. Jade plays her role as a large man with a heavy New Jersey accent that is obsessed with Beck's good looks and specifically his abs. Ho Yay doesn't even begin to describe it, and it's with a girl and a guy.