Double Entendre/Quotes

"This girl walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre. So the Bartender gives it to her!"

- Traditional

""If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?""

- Benny Hill, Groucho Marx, Mel Brooks, John Cleese, Black Mage, and many others

""I put the 'in-you' in innuendo.""

- Gary Dendthwidth, The Physics Of Giving

"Hinjo: There's not anyone aboard yet, What's going on here?

Lien: This was Lord Shojo's personal pleasure yacht. I suppose it belongs to you now.

Lien: This is your junk.

Hinjo: But why aren't there any citizens aboard yet?

Lien: Your uncle was a very private person, sir. He forbade anyone from touching his junk.

Hinjo: Well that ends now. My uncle may have kept his junk for himself, but my junk will be for the people.

Hinjo: Are there still evacuvees waiting to board a ship?

Lien: Oh, yes sir. I imagine I'll have no trouble finding peopling willing to get aboard your junk.

Lien: It should be able to hold many passengers.

Hinjo: I agree. My junk appears to be very long...

Roy: Wider than I would expect too.

Hinjo: Very well. Lien, you will hold my junk here until it is fully loaded.

Lien: That could take some time, Lord Hinjo...

Hinjo: I don't care how long it takes. I do not want my junk to launch prematurely.

Hinjo: Now, did you deliver that package for me?

Soldier: Yes, sir. I handled your package personally.

Hinjo: Outstanding."

- The Order of the Stick, #418: "It's a Type of Boat".

"[Hannelore and Marigold exist Marigold's room looking groggy and disheveled.]

Angus: Busy night, eh?

Hannelore: Yes, very!

Angus: It sure sounded like you were enjoying yourselves.

Hannelore: Oh no, did we keep you up? I tried to be quiet!

Angus: It's cool. It's hard to be quiet when you're that excited.

Hannelore: At first I wasn't really sure what was going on, but Marigold explained everything as we went along, and then I just go carried away, you know?

Angus: I'm impressed you were able to keep up with her all night like that.

Hannelore: Heheh, I'm sorta regretting it now. My butt is all sore!

Marigold: HANNELORE, he's IMPLYING--

Angus: No! Don't say it! You'll break the spell!

Hannelore: (to Marigold) My favorite part was when you took on those four guys at once! And then that giant dog!"

- Questionable Content #1702, after Hanners watched Marigold play World of Warcraft all night.

""He came and went at the same time.""

""Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?"

"After I play Buster Brothers I'm gonna bust a nut!"

"I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong."

"Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation."

"I'll show something that's Weltall""

- Some of the videogame-related double entendres made by Diabetus for their Flights Of Fantasy retsupuraes.

""I think the movie has reached its climax!""

- The Nostalgia Chick on Bowie-In-Tights.

""Nothing less than seven inches. That's my motto.""

- Isabelle Lightwood, The Mortal Instruments

""Mama needs her cough medicine. And make it a double, Antandra.""

- Jackie Washington, Jackie's Back!

""I'd like to double her entendre!""

- The Todd, Scrubs

"Ann Romano: Damn it, Schneider! I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago!

Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory."

- Family Guy, The Son Also Draws