Milk Money

A 1994 comedy film starring Melanie Griffith, Ed Harris, Anne Heche and Malcolm McDowell (and a kid that looks like a blond-er Haley Joel Osment). Three pre-teen boys decide they want to see a naked woman, and actually save money to hire a hooker for that purpose (apparently they think that's all they do). They go from the suburbs to the city by themselves and meet one named V (Melanie Griffith) who accepts the deal. After the exchange, the children's bikes are stolen, forcing V to give them a ride home.

V's car breaks down in front of the last boy's house, and he tells his widowed father (Ed Harris) that she is a math tutor. He helps fix her car, but then she finds out that her pimp has been murdered--by a Mob Boss, from whom he had stolen money. Fearing for her life (the mob is still looking for the money) V asks the kids to hide her, which they do--in their treehouse.

There is also a subplot about Frank's father being obsessed with saving a wetland (which is ultimately done with ).


 * Aborted Arc: The plot point about Frank failing Sex Ed is dropped once he gives his report.
 * All Men Are Perverts
 * Briefcase Full of Money
 * Comic Trio: Brad, Frank and Kevin.
 * Dumb Blonde: V
 * Easily Forgiven: The mob boss just lets V go.
 * Also, the kids after the whole thing is revealed.
 * Evil Brit: Waltzer
 * From the Mouths of Babes
 * Green Aesop: Because saving a swamp has something to do with zany prostitute misadventures, right?
 * Harmful to Minors: When V shows her breasts, Frank covers his own eyes.
 * Hooker with a Heart of Gold: V
 * Innocent Inaccurate
 * Karma Houdini: The three boys. Frank even breaks a number of school codes and laws in a single scene and receives no punishment, even though his teacher witnessed the whole thing.
 * That may have been just a daydream of Frank's. However, see Zany Scheme below.
 * Missing Mom: Frank's mother died before he was bo-- Er, I mean... just after he was born.
 * No Social Skills: V isn't very discrete when meeting one of the boys' fathers and pointing out he's a past client of hers right in front of his wife.
 * One Dialogue, Two Conversations
 * Refuge in Audacity: What the movie tries to do.
 * Saving the Wetlands: The subplot.
 * Toilet Humor: The film begins with the line, "You ever fart and sneeze at the same time?"
 * Too Dumb to Live: They go straight from asking random, fairly respectable looking women if they're prostitutes to going into deserted places with a guy who immediately looks like he'd rob you...which he tries to do.
 * The Un-Reveal: No, we don't get to see Melanie Griffith's boobs. (But two of the boys do.)
 * Wise Beyond Their Years: While the boys are unrealistically stupid, the girls are able to tell V is a prostitute just by looking at her.
 * Zany Scheme: While the kids might be excused because of their ignorance, and the whole thing being a comedy, when V asks Frank's dad to take his pants off before she will explain things, what little common sense the film had flew away.