Alphas/Funny

"Real estate agent: What do you study here?
 * Gary gets one in the second episode.

Dr. Rosen: Um, market research.

Gary: It's not really market research. It's a cover story."

"Gary: Give me the gun, I'll shoot it.
 * Gary seems to provide a measure of comic relief, due to sheer blitheness. From episode three, "Anger Management":

Bill: Gary, I'm not giving you my gun.

Gary: Yeah, give me your - no, you're right.*beat* Give me a grenade!"

"*Hicks breaks a window*
 * And again in the same episode:

Gary (offscreen): HICKS BROKE ANOTHER ONE. That's three."

"Soldier: So the big guy's strong. The John Woo guy's got aim. What do you do?
 * From "Rosetta"

Nina: I can fly.

Solider: Really?

Nina: Yeah, and laser beams shoot right out of my eyes."

"Bill: You know what I would love to see?
 * This exchange between Bill and Hicks.

Cameron: Unicorns sliding down a rainbow?"

"Waitress: Can I get you any more coffee?
 * While in a coffee shop, just after the team gets a new cover that includes having a badge:

Gary: DCIS. You don't ask questions. We ask the questions.

Rosen: Put the badge away.

Gary: Respect the badge. She should respect the badge."

"Gary: I'm not retarded, I'm autistic. You're retarded."
 * Even Bill thought it was funny.
 * Then he goes and steals the jacket of a jock who they had just taken to the hospital, just because he thinks it looks better on him. Gary is pretty much the designated comic relief by this point.
 * After a bully calls him a retard;

"Gary: You have bad breath. Yeah, Cindy Wellin, she said she'd rather lick a toilet seat than kiss you. It got 47 retweets."
 * Then he uses his power to see twitter posts relating to the bully.

"Gary: [Getting handcuffed by FBI agents again] This is the second time I've been arrested today."
 * From Bill and Gary's Excellent Adventure

"Gary: Nina, you have to pay the cab driver. I don't have 812 dollars. And 90 cents."
 * Gary's entire interaction with the cab driver, but especially when he finally reaches his destination.

"Espresso Machine: Enjoy your coffee, Nina.
 * Skylar sends Nina a new espresso machine, to make up for the one she disassembled for parts. The new machine is voice-operated and speech-capable.

Rachel: I wonder if it can also give me dating advice.

Gary: There's a joke. Bill told it to me. You like your coffee like you like your [Hicks tells him to say something else] ...men. Bill said women."

"[Nina gives Gary an automatic foot masseuse]'
 * We really should make this page a Gary Quotes page.

Gary: *giggling* My feet are so happy!"

"Bill: We all know Gary doesn't lie.
 * In "Blind Spot", Nina suddenly gets a nosebleed, and Rachel has to ask her if she's been picking it. Nina's not amused by the insinuation.
 * In "The Unusual Suspects", while Rachel is being interrogated by Clay, she hears Eric's heartbeat from where he's listening in. The two then begin trading banter, until Clay reminds them that they are still in the middle of an interrogation.
 * Gary has several good moments. "Dr. Rosen's in here! And he hurt his leg. And he has bad hair."

Gary: No, I do lie, I've been practicing. It's a social skill. Like the other day when I said I was gonna have a pudding pop, I was lying 'cause I don't like pudding pops. ... That was a lie, I do like pudding pops. I just knew we didn't have any."

"Rachel: I'm not the one who flew in there like Jackie Chan and blew our cover."
 * Rachel, the Shrinking Violet, berates Cameron in "Original Sin":

"Gary: Mom, please, don't cry. Listen, Bill's gonna protect me. He's my partner, he—he's very strong. One time he pushed me over, which was better than taking a bullet. [beat] I said don't cry!"
 * Or this gem, when Gary phones his Mother and is trying to convince her not to worry.

"Bill: I'm fine. The doctor, uh, said that infarction actually normalized me.
 * Really, pick any episode and Gary will have all the best lines. Guaranteed.

Gary: Infar...

Bill: Yeah, so... no more overdrive, no more underdrive. I'm optimal. So the rest was only precautionary.

Gary: Bill.

Bill: Yeah.

Gary: Infarction. Come on.

Bill: Gary, not now. Listen.

Gary: Fart.

Bill: Listen, we've got to focus.

Gary: I'm being immature."