Zanna Don't

""I'm a one-woman woman

And you're wastin' my time.""

- "I Ain't Got Time"

Zanna, Dont! is an Off-Broadway musical by Tim Accio. It was written in 2002 and ran its Off-Broadway run 2003. It was to get a run on Broadway, but talk of that has largely tapered off. It takes place in an Alternate Universe where chess is cool, football is weird, and everybody is gay.

The show revolves around the character Zanna, resident matchmaker, magic practitioner and student at Heartsville High. In the course of the story, he hooks up Mike and Steve, and Roberta and Kate. Disaster strikes when Steve and Kate fall in love, causing them to be ostracized. In an attempt to make everything better, Zanna permanently flips their world into our world. Now everyone is straight and he's the odd one out. But everyone learns to get along in the end.

Includes examples of: "Mike: You looked perfect!"
 * Alternate Universe : But everything is pretty normal except for three things. Chess is cooler than football, mechanical-bull riding is a intermural sport and everybody is gay.
 * Bi the Way: steve and kate are
 * Cast Full of Gay : Everyone in Heartsville (and the rest of America) are gay.
 * Highschool Radio : Tank is resident DJ.
 * Excited Show Title
 * High School Dance : The scene for Zanna to discover that everyone is now straight.
 * I Can't Believe a Guy Like You Would Notice Me : Mike, captain of the chess club goes out with Steve, quarterback of the football team. They even say this line.
 * Magic Wand : Zanna uses a literal magic wand, pretty star on the end and all.
 * Matchmaker Crush : Zanna hooks up Mike and Steve, and then realizes that he likes Steve too.
 * Tempting Fate : This is referencing Kate and Steve pretending to be in love. Bet you he regrets it four songs later.