Recess/Funny



"Mikey: Don't worry, there are a lot of people without names. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince, the Unknown Soldier, and the other four guys in the Jackson Five."
 * In the episode, "The New Kid", due to the "constitution of the playground", Gus, who just moved to town, has to be refered to as "new kid" until the school gets another new kid. Gus is upset about not having his name anymore, when Mikey comes and says this to try to make him feel better:

"T.J.: This old man, he played two...HEE HEE HEE HEE! He played knick-knack on my shoe..."
 * T.J. when he's been put in "the box" (in the episode with the same name) (a box drawn on the blacktop for a "time out"), and going through a Madness Mantra. it goes over into Crosses the Line Twice, but it's still kinda funny.

"Spinelli: And I really want to be a six-foot bodybuilder named Moe, but we happen to live in a place called reality."
 * Vince's nightmare about turning into a nerd in the episode "Big Brother Chad".
 * "NEEEEEEAATOOO!!!!!!!!!"
 * The end of the first episode, "The Break-In", when the diggers actually dig a hole to China. However, they end up in a Chinese kindergarten. One of the kindergarteners sees them, and repeats the line the kindergarteners from Third Street School said earlier, but in Chinese: "Let's eat 'em!"
 * When T.J. tells everyone that Randall might change now that he's joined their gang in "Randall's Reform", and no one agrees. Spinelli delivers this hilarious line:

"Teacher: Who invented modern medicine?
 * T.J. joining the kindergarteners in the episode, "The Legend of the Big Kid".
 * After he realizes that he's a fourth grader again, he breaks down in tears...and as a Freeze-Frame Bonus, look closely at the kindergarteners walking away; they have a hilarious creeped-out look on their faces.
 * Gretchen trying to fail her test in "My Fair Gretchen" so she can stay at Third Street School with her friends.

Gretchen: Dr. Seuss.

Teacher: Who was the first person to make it to the North Pole?

Gretchen: Santa Claus."

"Miss Finster: ...You're a wimp, you know that, Grotke?"
 * The begining of the episode involves Miss Finster giving out an achievment test to the students, when Miss Grotke tells them not to worry about it, as it won't affect their grade. Miss Finster's reply is hilarious:

"Gus: Adult animals?"
 * While the kids are explaining the Kids' Unwritten Code of Honor to Gus, at one point they say, "It's what makes kids different from adults! Different from animals! What would we be without it?"

"TJ: Sounds like Gerbils on helium.
 * There's an episode in which Spinelli is the subject of playground ridicule for calling the teacher "Mom". So Gretchen gets the idea to make everyone else do it by playing the words "Momma, Daddy" over and over again over the intercom...on an ultra-high speed.

Mrs. Finster: What is that INFERNAL Racket?! The birds...they're up to something.

Principal Prickly: Uh oh...the kindergarteners must have given helium to the gerbils again!!"

"Chinese Man: NO GATHERING, NO GATHERING! This ball is property of the state!"
 * "WHO THE HECK IS WHOMPY WHOMPERSON!?"
 * "I Will Kick No More Forever" gives us Ashley Q. beating Vince in kickball...by kicking the ball all the way to Communist China.

"Digger Sam: My voice! What happened to my voice?"
 * Also, Ashley Q's general attitude while making the kick. She clearly isn't even interested and gets right back to talking on her cell-phone the moment she kicks it, not even noticing what an amazing thing she just did. It makes Vince's embarassment at being outkicked by her even worse, but it's definately funny.
 * Another moment from that same episode had Gretchen making a super bouncy kickball which they intended to have Vince kick in order for him to regain his confidence. Of course, it turns out the ball Vince kicked was a regular ball, which leads Gretchen to ask what happened to her super ball. It cuts to Mrs. Finster putting the ball on a shelf in the sports equipment room, only for the ball to start moving at super speed, causing all the other balls to start moving and leaving Finster trapped in a ball storm.
 * "Beauty Contest": The Ashleys sign Spinelli up for a beauty pageant against her will, and the gang try to get her ready for it. One of these includes teaching her to walk in high heels...taught to her by Vince, no less.
 * The gang's "What the Hell" faces when they see him in high heels makes it funnier.
 * This hilarious case of Lampshade Hanging at the end of Taking the Fifth Grade:

"Gelman: "My old man don't believe in otters!""
 * Gelman, in response to "The Otter Dance" from "A Great State Fair":

"T.J.: Listen, Miss Grotke, Gus really wants to go on this field trip. So how about you reconsider with the help of my friends (Pulls out a penny and a quarter)...Abraham and George.
 * T.J. attempting to bribe Miss Grotke to get Gus on the field trip (after his dad forgot to give him his permission slip):

Miss Grotke: T.J. DETWEILER!

T.J.: Yes, that was wrong."

"Gus: She's old, really old. She's got to be at least 24!"
 * The fact that he's trying to bribe her with 26 cents makes it funnier.
 * Pretty much all of "Me No Know" (the episode where Vince is forbidden to see a wacky, Jim Carrey-esque comedy that everyone else is seeing because his parents don't like the main actor).
 * In "The Voice", Mikey ends up with a crush on his music teacher, and proudly admits it to the rest of the gang. Gus's reaction is plain hilarious:

"Randall: `Cause let me tell you something, T.J. Detweiler, I wish..I wish...I WISH I WAS YOU!
 * Any scene involving Brandon, the Singer Kid.
 * Randall's attempt at an "I Just Want to Be You" speech in "Randall's Reform".

T.J.: What? What are you talking about?

Randall: Look at you! You're fat, you're ugly, you wear that filfthy jacket!

T.J.: Okay, okay, that's enough!

Randall: But yet, guys play with you! They laugh at your jokes! They want to be your friend! Look at me, T.J., I've got nothing.

T.J.: Maybe that's because you're always snitching on everyone.

Randall: You think?"

"(We see T.J. tearing up his paper with his mouth, then takes it out and gives it to Miss Grotke)
 * T.J.'s excuse for not doing his homework in "This Brain for Hire"

Miss Grotke: Uh, T.J., this paper is moist.

T.J.: Well you see, my dog, we call him Scrufster, saw it, and let's say that paper and saliva don't mix.

Miss Grotke: I see. You have a scrap of paper on your lip.

T.J.: Oops."

"Vince: My brother ate it!
 * Vince has a pretty hilarious excuse as well.

Miss Grotke: Eaten by a family member? That's a new one."

"Pamela Segal (Spinelli's voice actress): Do you know at The Disney Store they have Gus and Gretchen, but they don't have f**king Spinelli? The f**k they have Gus for!"
 * In 'Kids in The Mist', Gretchen begins to cackle madly while editing some video, then begins choking horribly, and feebly tells T.J. that she thinks she's swallowed her retainer.
 * The gag reel, which was given to the cast and crew during the show's wrap party (the party thrown after a show finished production) has so many of these (Basicly, it's the recording bloopers, "What Could Have Been" moments, and other funny stuff recorded). Some funny lines:

"Paul Germain (Co-creator): You dirty, dirty kids.
 * Ricky D`Shon Colins (Vince) trying to record the "We might not have a ball, but we have a rubber sack!" line, but can't take it seriously because of the Double Entendre.
 * Followed up by this:

Courtland Mead (Gus): Not me!

Jason Davis (Mikey): Kids this day and age, they take everything the wrong way!"

"Miss Finster: AAAAUUUGHH!!!
 * And this:

Allison (Assistant director): That's what Miss Finster sounds like when she's having sex!"

"Snake: You stole Beany McGum!
 * King Bob writing his life story in "The Rules": "Chapter one: I was a baby when I was born..."
 * Anything King Bob says and does is hilarious, really, because he's a kid who takes his position as king of the playground REALLY seriously.
 * In one episode, Gus steals a bunch of gum in order to impress some kids and is immediately wracked with guilt. He begins imagining the gum everywhere, including when he looks at his pet snake. The snake's body morphs into the gum, and begins to harshly judge him for the theft.

Gus: But it wasn't my fault-!

Snake: NO EXCUSES!!!"

"Vince: And if we lose, Lawson's gonna make us look like a bunch of dummies!
 * During the episode 'Teachers Lounge', the kids imagining what the teacher's lounge is like. Especially the part where Miss Finster scores a basket, jumping 12 feet in the air and doing a 180.
 * During the movie 'School's Out', the kids impersonating Principal Prickly on the PA system.
 * "Soccer Boy" gives us T.J.'s reaction to the reason why Vince's team can't lose the soccer tournament.

T.J.: Ooh, don't wanna look like no dummies."

"T.J.: Did Albert Edison give up when they stole his theory of regularity? Did Benjamin Frankmin give up when the Germans shot down his kite!?"
 * T.J.'s speech on why Gretchen shouldn't give up in "A Science Fair to Remember":

"Ms Finster: "I hope you boys learned your lesson".
 * TJ spends an entire episode trying to get Gordie to like him (because everyone else does) and fails. We get this at the end.

TJ: "I sure did, ma'am. I learned that no matter what, not everyone's gonna like you"

Ms Finster: "Blast you, Detweiler. Just because I give you a detention doesn't mean I don't like you."