The Whole Nine Yards

The Whole Nine Yards is a 2000 Mafia comedy, directed by Jonathan Lynn. Chandler Bing Nicolas "Oz" Oseransky (Matthew Perry) is a dentist living and working in Montreal. His life is miserable: his wife and mother-in-law hate him and he is broke thanks to his father-in-law. Then Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis), a hitman hiding out from the mob, moves in next door. Hilarity Ensues.

The film received a sequel: The Whole Ten Yards (2004).

Shows examples of:
"Janni: Don't b'long.
 * Acronym Confusion: In the sequel, Lazlo Gogolak often makes mistakes about idioms and terms and hates it when people correct him. For example, he thinks that a DUI and an IUD are the same thing.
 * Adorkable: Props to Oz for actually making a plotpoint out of his likability:
 * Jill is also this.
 * Affably Evil: Franky Figgs. Jimmy, depending on how you look at it.
 * As Long as It Sounds Foreign: Exaggerated by Kevin Pollak as Janni Gogolak to great comedic effect; includes unconventional contractions, randomly emphasized letters, and swapped consonants.

Oz: Don't blong?"

"Jill': So, did you do it? Did you do what I told you to do?
 * Ascended Fangirl:
 * Berserk Button: Jimmy has two--putting mayonnaise on a burger and adultery. Who knew?
 * Lazlo Gogolak dislikes being corrected.
 * Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Jill may count, since she
 * Bloodless Carnage: Oddly enough, several people are shot in this film but don't bleed.
 * Boy Meets Girl: A very atypical version for Oz and Cynthia.
 * California Doubling: Averted. When the filming started in Montreal, the script was rewritten to have the story take place in Montreal too.
 * Chekhov's Skill: It turns out that Oz's job is more useful than for making jokes about dentists being suicidal--
 * Except, in the sequel,.
 * Deadpan Snarker: When he's not being spastic, Oz is pretty deadpan. Then again, what else would you expect from Matthew Perry?
 * Did You Just Have Sex?: Jill is so good at this, she can sense it over a phone line.

Oz: No, no. I'm not gonna answer that!

Jill: So you did?! I can tell. You had sex!"

"Jimmy: I'm gonna send this back and ask for another one, but if you put mayonnaise on it I'm gonna come to your house, chop your legs off, set your house on fire, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps through the door."
 * Disproportionate Retribution: Things get ugly when Jimmy tells the chef he doesn't want mayonnaise on his burger.

"Cynthia: It's your beeper.
 * The threat (minus the burger part) is actually word-for-word from a message Bruce Willis left for Matthew Perry. Due to a slight miscommunication, Bruce was under the impression that Matthew Perry was dragging his feet signing on to the movie. So he called him and left a message explaining that he needed to sign on to the movie, or Bruce would...well, see the above. When the director found out, he found it sufficiently hilarious that he had it added to the script.
 * Distracted by the Sexy: Jill has an interesting scene where we find out just how good she is at her job.
 * Divorce Requires Death: Played (sort of) for laughs. The mobster wants to murder his wife because divorce is a sin for Catholics.
 * Every One Remembers the Stripper: The film itself is fantastic but most people only remember the fact that Amanda Peet got topless for one scene.
 * Everything Sounds Bitchier In Quebecois French: Oz's wife's accent is rather strong.
 * Fan Service: The nude scenes with Jill.
 * Friends All Along: Jimmy and Frankie Figgs, except instead of acting like strangers, they act like they want to kill each other.
 * Gilligan Cut: An "immediate" variation - Jimmy tells Frankie Jill "has definite potential" as she's walking away, and she immediately trips on the grass, yelps, and falls over.
 * Good Adultery, Bad Adultery: Both; also Played With by Jimmy, who's very particular about what's good and what's bad, made all the weirder by the immorality of his profession.
 * Hidden Heart of Gold:
 * Hitman with a Heart: Jimmy.
 * Identification by Dental Records: Jimmy tries to put Oz's skills as a dentist to good use.
 * Which leads to Fridge Logic. There's no massive, searchable database of dental records. When unidentifiable bodies are found, their dental impressions are compared against likely candidates, usually locals reported missing. Each possibility's records have to be individually tracked down (probably with a subpoena or permission from next of kin) and examined by someone trained in dental forensics. There would be no reason for police in Montreal to suspect the corpses on their hands are (as far as anybody knows) still-living mobsters and hitmen from Chicago.
 * Fridge Brilliance: The only body that had to burned beyond recognition was the one that had been doctored(dentisted?) to be Frank's. Steps were obviously taken to ensure that Janni's body _was_ identifiable, or maybe Jimmy deliberately left a wallet nearby for the cops to find, something that would give them an idea whose dental records to start checking.
 * I'm Standing Right Here: Oz finds out to Jimmy about it right in front of him.
 * Jack Bauer Interrogation Technique: Franky Figgs uses this on Oz. It works.
 * The Klutz: Oz. At various points, he spins around, runs into Frankie and falls over, smashes into a glass door, tries to sit on a stack of items as they slowly collapse under him, and almost flips over backwards putting his feet on his desk.
 * Meet Cute: A very interesting subversion with Oz and Cynthia. He's up to his neck in hitmen and death but still finds her beautiful and compellingly strong.
 * Mooks: Being a mob boss and all, Janni always has men around him.
 * Odd Couple: A hitman and a dentist.
 * Only Sane Man: Oz. Cynthia is the Only Sane Woman.
 * Rich Bitch: Oz's wife acts like one and so does her mother.
 * Running Gag: Oz's beeper scaring the crap out of him because it usually goes off in high-stress situations.

Oz: I know."

"Cynthia: I haven't had sex in five years.
 * The characters' annoyance at having mayonnaise put on their burgers.
 * Dentists apparently have a high suicide rate.
 * Scary Black Man: Franky Figgs, who is scary but oddly pleasant until he sucker punches Oz in the gut.
 * Secret Test of Character: Jill performs one on Cynthia before offering her the wedding present.
 * Sexless Marriage

Oz: Neither have I. *Beat* I've been married."

"Cynthia: (standing very close to him) Have you vomited recently?
 * Spit Take: On "ten million dollars."
 * Title Drop: After summing up Jimmy's Tontine plan.
 * Tontine: The MacGuffin isn't quite a literal tontine, but it has the effect of one.
 * Vomit Discretion Shot: Oz. Later Lampshaded by Cynthia when she comes by to see him.

Oz: Just a minute ago. I was about to brush my teeth.

Cynthia: (moves away) I'll wait."


 * Yandere: Jill is this to Jimmy.
 * You Need to Get Laid: Jill's proposed idea to Oz to make his life suck a little less.