Fire Emblem/Memes


 * WAS KILLED BY CONTINUITY ERRORS!'''
 * Marcus, the Crutch Character, after a wall of text, quickly became a divine figure on the FE7 board on Game FAQs. HE deserves it, too.
 * Raven is most susceptible to being RNG screwed.
 * Seriously. ._.
 * Fire Emblem 7 gives us Batta THE BEAST and Glass, both well known for their Suicidal Overconfidence peerless swordplay.
 * This is a message from Lord Nergal. "I await you on the Dread Isle."
 * Sacred Stones gives us Gheb, a fat ugly boss who dies in a few hits god who can raep anyone, including the willing and allowed a fool named Gleb to take his place.
 * Path of Radiance shows Oliver, who is also fat and ugly and a slave trader the only truly beautiful character in the game. He too can raep anyone, and might be Gheb's cousin. He is so beautiful
 * Radiant Dawn allows us to view the 3-13 Archer, perhaps the only competent allied NPC in the game most powerful character in the universe, stronger than the gods. He does not die, he simply refuses to help you anymore. Truly, he is an hero. (sic)
 * "The beasts...The beasts wish to...CONSUME ME!"
 * "Goldoa will not move!"
 * *Promptly *
 * Hold.....HOLD, I SAY!
 * OMFG MARCUS IS AN EXP THIEF!!!1!
 * While we're on the subject: Don't use Jeigan!
 * "Are Marth and Roy in this game?"
 * This meme may finally be coming to a close now that the remake of Shadow Dragon (aka THE ONE WITH MARTH) has debuted in the West, and Ike has replaced Roy in the SSB universe and his games are readily available in the West.
 * Fire Emblem Awakening almost feels like it's playing with this meme to hell and back - both Marth and Roy (and Leaf) are available and fully playable as DLC.
 * [Insert Character Here] is no hero. He/she's a [Insert Class or descriptor here].
 * "Marth has no pants! What he has in Super Smash Bros is just spray paint!"
 * "Garm is the Sacred Twin black axe of Grado. Garm is S-Ranked, meaning a unit must have an S-Rank in axes to use it. Due to the fact that a unit can only one S-Rank, a, say, a Warrior must choose between S-Ranking Bows or S-Ranking Axes. However, I slightly lied. Lyon can S-Rank both Dark Magic and Staves. In Fire Emblem 6: Fuuin no Tsurugi, a unit can S-Rank all possible weapons it can use. Therefore, a FE6 unit, to be specific, a FE6 Paladin, the best of which is Zealot, could use Garm, Audhulma, and Vidofnir. I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. A FE6 unit could not use Fire Emblem 8: The Sacred Stones weapons. However, it can use FE6 weapons. Therefore, it can use the Armads, Durandal, and Malte. However, it can not use all three at once, unless the game has been significantly altered and the Paladin has three arms. But that's slightly off-topic, I digress. We are talking about FE8 because we are on the FE8 board. The possible wielders of Garm are, in order of appearance, Gilliam, Franz, Garcia, Ross, Kyle, Forde, Amelia, Duessel, Gerik, Dozla, Caellach, and Fado. Quite a large portion of FE8's cast can use Garm. However, many of these units can only use axes post-promotion, therefore increasing the difficulty of getting them an S-Rank in axes. It can be done easier, however, if you use the Devil Axe. The Devil Axe gives 8 times as much axe weapon experience as most other axes or most other weapons. However, the Devil Axe is very heavy and very innaccurate. Also, it can backfire and do damage to the user equal to the damage it would've done to the opponent. The Devil Axe is risky but it has a good potential benefit for the user. Garm gives a +5 bonus to Speed. This is good because many of the potential Garm wielders could benefit from the boost. In appearance of order, I mean order of appearance, they are Garcia, Ross, Kyle, Duessel, Dozla, Caellach and Fado. None of them have good Speed. The stereotypical axe user often lacks Speed. A notable exception to this is Dart from Fire Emblem 7: Rekka no Ken. Dart has an impressive Speed stat, so giving Dart the Garm axe would increase his Speed to make it quite high. I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. Please punish me in a kinky way. Back to what I was saying. Dart cannot use Garm, despite the fact that the only weapon type he can use, let alone S-Rank, is axes. Why, you ask? Garm does nto, I mean, not, exist in FE7. However, Basilikos does. Basilikos could be considered an inferior version of Garm. I'm sorry, but I am digressing from the point I am trying to make. Please reprimand me if I do this again. Garm is acquired upon completing Eirika's Chapter 15: Scorched Sand or Ephraim's Chapter 14: Father and Son. Interestingly, the son does not appear during the Chapter. I'm sorry, i, I mean I, slightly lied again. The son, Lyon, appears in conversation scenes before and after the main conflict in Father and Son. However, I am slightly digressing. Upon completion of said Chapter(s), Garm, along with Gleipnir, are added to the main character's inventory. However, something interesting happens when the main character's inventory is full. I am sorry, what happens isn't very interesting. Something truly interesting does happen when the main character's inventory and the Supply convoy is full. In the first instance, you will have to send two of the main character's items to Supply, and you will have to discard two of the main character's items in the latter circumstance. This creates the interesting paradox where the sacred relics of Grado can be simply discarded. This is interesting because such powerful items, two of the eight used to defeat the feared Demon King, are merely thrown away.I'm sorry, I slightly lied again. SMACK MY ASS BABY! DO IT NOW! Only seven of those items can be used against the Demon King. Latona, the Holy Staff of Rausten, cannot be used against the Demon King because it is a staff that heals all of your units except the one who uses it. However, it has little strategic use because getting one of your units to S-Rank Staves is worthless. I'm sorry, I digressed yet again. Please discipline me, Master."
 * TL;DR
 * Lyn's story about her tribe getting wiped by bandits is bullcrap because everything from Sacae is broken..
 * On that note, Nomads can fly with their asses!
 * "Eirika will break the rules to stab you in the face."
 * "Joshua is an assasin now. He forgot how to do regular attacks."
 * The enemies suck 'cause they never spin.
 * "In Fire Emblem Jugdral, I KILL TAILTO FOR LINDA!"
 * Also, SHE. HAS. FURY!!!
 * "Danved, who is definitely not Devdan, will fight like ten men! Like a bear! Like a tiger! We don't need Largo and Calill, because Danved is pretty amazing."
 * On tumblr, Ephraim has turned into both a Memetic Badass and a Memetic Sex God. He beds everyone and his butt is a wind tome (long story). Get like him.
 * Gerik lacks the proper CON to wield axes.
 * NUNSWITHAXES
 * "Let's call (x) Vergil."
 * Edward tanks axes with his face.