Cowboy Bebop at His Computer/Professional Wrestling

Cowboy Bebop at His Computer shows us that fact-checking is for Jabronis.

"Nancy Grace: "Mr. [Bret] Hart, question. Regarding [Chris Benoit's] career, I know that he had gone from the elite, one of the Four Horsemen, down to Raw. And that's a little bit of a demotion. How badly do you think he took that?""
 * The book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Professional Wrestling is filled with this type of error, leading many Smart Marks to claim it's "by complete idiots, for complete idiots". As just one example, the real name of wrestler The Rock (actual real name: Dwayne Johnson) is given as Rocky Melvin. Surprisingly, late wrestler and wrestling manager "Captain Lou" Albano was one of the co-authors (the other was boxing expert Bert Randolph Sugar); however, as anybody who met Lou in person or seen him on TV will attest, the Captain was a real-life Cloudcuckoolander, so it's not all that shocking that he could screw things up this badly. There was a second edition of the book that updated some information and corrected some of the errors...but only replaced those with new ones.
 * The documentary (which means that they should've had all the time in the world to do the research, which makes it even funnier) Exposed! Pro Wrestling's Greatest Secrets reveals some secrets that every knowledgeable wrestling fan already knew (the matches are rigged, and we must wear masks to discuss this, since our lives could be at risk), and some they didn't... because no pro wrestling federation has ever used them. Two words: Stunt Granny.
 * This is ironic for two reasons: Harley Race was featured as the booker in the documentary and the production company behind the documentary (Nash Entertainment) was also responsible for the excellent Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed series.
 * Following the Chris Benoit murders in 2007, The Today Show did a report on wrestlers who died young. One of the reports said that Owen Hart died from a heart attack. For the uninitiated, Owen actually fell to his death while preparing for an entrance that would see him rappelling from the rafters into the ring at a pay-per-view event. It's only by the sheer coincidence that the WWE was airing a backstage interview at that moment that the moment of death wasn't broadcast on nationwide television, but it was still a major news story. You'd think that might stick out enough for them to get the cause of death right, but apparently not. On that same broadcast, they broadcasted Owen's face on the British Bulldog's profile.
 * Also, Nancy Grace mentioned something about Benoit "being demoted from the Four Horsemen to Raw". The Horsemen, of course, being a team that died when WCW went defunct in 2001, and Raw being the WWE's top brand. Here's the actual quote:


 * She must have done that twice, because I remember her asking Chris Jericho that question, who promptly dismembered her.
 * Grace also featured a list of wrestlers who died of drug induced and/or non-accidental causes during one of her shows. The list not only included the afformentioned Owen Hart, but also Bruiser Brody (who was killed although his killer claimed self-defence and was acquited on those grounds), Marianna Komlos (AKA Mrs. Cleavage), who died of breast cancer and has never wrestled in a match, Junkyard Dog and Joey Marella (who both died in car accidents), and Andre the Giant, who died of heart failure, caused by his Acromegaly (Gigantism).
 * One of the heads of The CW shortly after the Benoit murders claimed that her network wouldn't be troubled by it because "Benoit was never featured on Smack Down". Apparently she never watched her own programming, as Benoit had been part of the Smack Down brand for two years before being drafted to the ECW brand, and for several years prior to a jump to Raw (when The CW was still UPN).
 * Former WWE play-by-play commentator Mike Adamle is a former commentator for this exact reason. His very first night on the job, he referred to Jeff Hardy as "Jeff Harvey", and, after he was assigned to WWE's ECW brand, made a habit out of referring to his partner, Tazz, as "The Tazz", among other gaffes that showed that he really didn't know a thing about WWE or wrestling in general. The latter, by the way, was a running gag in WWE right up until Tazz left the company, despite the fact that Adamle was wished well in his future endeavors long before Tazz was.
 * Muhammad Hassan was a controversial wrestler whose gimmick was that, despite being a born-and-raised American, being of Middle Eastern descent saw him face racism of all kinds on a nearly daily basis following the September 11th attacks. In 2005, as part of one of Muhammad Hassan's last appearances on WWE programming, he called forth a group of men dressed in ski masks to attack The Undertaker (a segment which had the misfortune of airing on the same day as an actual terrorist attack). In response to the backlash (besides the usual "It was only a 'terrorist attack' because I'm of Middle Eastern descent" defense), Hassan took things a step further and, in an in-ring promo, attacked a writer at the New York Times for an article in which "Undertaker attacked by Arabs in ski masks." was written. Hassan said of the article: "They were in ski masks! How does he know they were Arab?" As Hassan effectively made that writer and the New York Times as a whole sound like a bunch of racist bastards, fans seemed to actually take his side... until he intimated that the article proved his point: ALL Americans hate Middle Easterners (which garnered Hassan a massive amount of heel heat). After that speech, UPN (the network that carried SmackDown! at the time) demanded that WWE take Hassan off TV. WWE did this, and following his final match (talked about below), he and his manager Daivari were sent down to developmental territories, where Hassan was eventually released. Many fans believed the Times influenced UPN's decision and really were (or still are) the racist bastards Hassan called them out to be.
 * What makes things worse is that Hassan was massively over as a heel, and while his in-ring skill wasn't the greatest, he was improving over time; this actually led him to get a #1 Contender's Match for the World Heavyweight Championship against The Undertaker at The Great American Bash in 2005. Originally, he was scheduled to win that match and go up against Batista at SummerSlam, WWE's second biggest pay-per-view of the year. But when the pressure from UPN forced Hassan off of television, Hassan was booked to lose the match and never appeared on WWE programming ever again, which infuriated many fans who actually LIKED Hassan.
 * Parodied frequently through Santino Marella, in his Funny Foreigner role, such as him calling Rowdy Roddy Piper "Rodney the Piper" and Jimmy Kimmel "Jimmeny." His biggest faux pas may be when he messes up all of Stone Cold Steve Austin's catchprases, like "open the can of the ass-whip," "stomping a mudpie" and "those are the bottom lines."
 * In a Time web article on bad corporate name changes, the WWE was given a spot thanks to its tiff with the World Wildlife Fund. Not head-banging, yet. But then the author said of the reason Linda McMahon gave: "The comment didn't do much to stamp out persistent rumors that the fights are rigged -- but hey, at least she was honest." Not head-banging in 1969, maybe, but in 2009...
 * A college professor got Al Snow's action figure banned from Wal-Mart after interpreting the Head accessory as a metaphor for spousal abuse. The real story is that back in ECW, Cactus Jack told him to get some head in order to get a'head'; Al Snow took this advice literally and started carrying around a mannequin head (more specifically, a styling dummy, the type of mannequin head beauty school students use to practice on before moving up to real people's hair.)
 * Sent up in Botchamania, where the commentators will note certain match stipulations (title switches, locations, etc.) as being first time appearances. These are immediately followed by contradictory evidence. Michael Cole is infamous for these "Make Up Facts! Sound Smart!" moments.
 * Jeremy Piven hosted Raw alongside Ken Jeong. He referred to Summer Slam as "Summer Fest".
 * A lot of the guest hosts who clearly don't know anything about wrestling are guilty of this. Sharon Osbourne referred to Kofi Kingston as "Coby" at the beginning of the night.
 * During Hollywood Hogan's original New World Order run, Mike Tenay referred to his Jimi Hendrix entrance music ("Voodoo Child") as "Voodoo Chili".
 * To elaborate: Hendrix had a song called Voodoo Chile which was kind of a studio blues jam, then later took part of that and adapted it into the more conventional "Voodoo Child (Slight Return)." The latter song was Hogan's entrance music. Tenay not only got the wrong song, but the wrong pronunciation (though many do say Chile as chili.)
 * Once on CNN's Capitol Gang show, Margaret Carlson, a respected political journalist, called The Rock "a white skinhead hateful wrestling guy." The Rock is half-black, half-Polynesian (admittedly of a skin tone able to pass for "well tanned"), and at the time was not bald. Apparently no one informed her of this, because a week later she was in the pages of Time Magazine writing that The Rock was "anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-black, with language so coarse and vulgar that I can't repeat it here."
 * When reviewing WWE Money In The Bank 2010, one journalist said of the Divas' Championship match, "typical diva match, Alicia wins by cheating, let's move on". He clearly did not watch the match because what made the match stand out was the fact that Alicia Fox won cleanly without cheating.
 * During the Brie Bella vs. Kelly Kelly match on the "Power To The People" episode of Raw, Michael Cole constantly referred to Kelly as a "former champion hoping to regain her title tonight". And after the match Kelly cut a tearful promo about winning her first title. Cole, you have permission to facepalm.
 * TNA's Velvet Sky spoke in a recent interview about how happy she was to be in a company that didn't stick her in bra and panties matches, trying to take a shot at WWE. Except WWE have not had a bra and panties match since 2007 and what does Velvet do the Impact after the interview? Get publicly stripped to her underwear during a segment.
 * A recurring goof in anything that parodies wrestling: there will almost certainly be a move incorrectly referred to as a "body slam". Suplex? BODY SLAM. Flying splash? BODY SLAM. Clothesline? BODY SLAM.
 * For the uninitiated, a body slam (more commonly referred to as a "scoop slam" in modern WWE) is a specific wrestling move and doesn't just generically refer to someone getting slammed. This error even happens in wrestling via commentary member Michael Cole (who is no stranger to messing up his calls), where he frequently refers to Randy Orton's signature snap powerslam as a scoop slam.
 * During the very infamous Heroes of Wrestling pay-per-view in 1999, Randy Rosenbloom incorrectly called the dropkick the "flying leg kick" and the "leg drop".
 * When WWE held a press conference to officially announce that Wrestlemania 29 would be in New Jersey, New York Post writer Phil Mushnick (who previously criticized wrestling in 1997 and got promptly chewed out on WWE television by Jim Cornette in a shoot) wrote an article about it filled with inaccuracies, such as suggesting that Dwayne Johnson "resurrect that bit when he smacks a male wrestler over the head with a chair, then smacks a female wrestler over the head with a chair, and they both pass out, face-down, in each other’s crotches, simulating simultaneous oral sex — while The Rock winks and smiles."... He almost gets it right, if referring to The Rock and Lita vs. Triple H and Trish Stratus in an episode of Raw in 2000. However, no woman gets hit with a chair during the match.