Hurricane of Euphemisms/Quotes

"Here's one: A genetically engineered Taiwanese chef teams up with a newt in a fez to rescue his large-bosomed girlfriend from mummies. There, you see? It's easy. A breast cancer specialist with large bosoms journeys through time to pay for a breast enlargement. A race of bosom people set out on an armada of bosoms to find a new bosom homeworld. Bosoms, melons, milk factories, busts, funbags, knockers, ballistics, boobies, jugs, nipples, jubblies, STONKING... GREAT... TITS."

- Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, reviewing Tomb Raider: Anniversary

"Mariya: Admit it, you're playing for the other team.

Kanako: What?

Mariya: You're a carpet muncher.

Kanako: What?

Mariya: You prefer the taco over the hot dog.

Kanako: What?

Mariya: Hey, I've got pages of these, I can go on all day."

- Maria Holic Abridged Series by Toaster

"Leland's Grandmother: After this, I need to run a couple of errands. Will your family be alright with that, Mr. Tran?

Tran: Where will you be taking us?

Leland's Grandmother: Oh you know. Here and there. Out and around. Round and about. Hither and thither - to and fro, back and forth, up and down, in and out. Over-and-under, hippity-hoppity, round the corner over the river and through the woods, lickety-split, clocking the G's, grinding the ax, up to no good, nip in the bud, good 'n plenty, lollygagging around making the rounds painting the town red. Packing a load, hugging a tree skinnin' the dog skip to my loo sowing my oats passing a stone, shooting the breeze jumping the fence! Humping the horse dancing a jig spinning a yarn sipping the cider! Flexing the pecs lubin' my do packing the feed licking the chicken pinching the pennies! Do-si-do...

Tran: Shut up! Why don't you shut up right now!?"

- Dr. Tran, Mr. Tran and the Toy Cack

"Claire: Well, one thing's for sure. Sooner or later Louis' gonna stick his head out of the world's most sadistic window.

Lucien: What do you mean?

Claire: He's going to get a public haircut?

Lucien: Pardon, I'm still confused.

Claire: They're going to introduce him to a killer cure for headaches?

Lucien: Um...

Claire: Give his shoulders a vacation? Have a tete-a-tete in a wicker salon? Give him new freedom of thought? Revitalize the tight collar market?

Lucien: Enough, I get it, I get it!"

- Bite Me