Problem Sleuth/WMG

The main characters are all Clan Malkavian vampires from Vampire: The Masquerade
...trying to escape from a lunatic asylum (and succeeding, at some indeterminate point in the story). The "Elf Tears" are human blood. Also, the "Weasel Emmisary" is a Clan Ventrue Camarilla vampire. Just because. This means the player character is Malkav/The Malkavian Madness Network.

They Are in The Matrix
This Explain the Super Powers

Team Sleuth and Mobster Kingpin are exiles.
Specifically, from Prospit. Presumably, they were part of the troll's session.

Problem Sleuth takes place in the future after Homestuck

 * The reason for all the ananchronisms is because the Prospitians only learned culture from what they could salvage from humanity's wreckages.
 * The people are literally white skinned, but have mutated/evolved into being less carapaces and more human like (light on science but cool to think)