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Links Awakening

The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

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The House of Night

Curator: ShimaSpawn



Hm. Did you know that the YMMV box only shows up at the top when this is classed as a work? Unlike the other namespaces, which appear once their respective pages are created.

Cloak and Dagger

The Problem with Pen Island

Troll Fic

Alucard "Al" Badguy


"Arr, this be my time to shine."

A powerful vampire who hunts other vampires, as the pilot says. He dies less than a third of the way into the fic. Sometimes (although more often after his death) he is portrayed as a "wise mentor" to Seras. He likes Fakebook. Get it? It's "Facebook," but it isn't!)


 * Berserk Button: Insulting Intergra. Do it, and he will eat you.
 * Don't call him "Al" either.
 * Boomerang Bigot: He's a vampire who considers other vampires to be bad. Towards the end of the fan fic, Carl doesn't like him for this.
 * Catch Phrase: He will UNLEESH HECK [sic] on the bad guys.
 * Decoy Protagonist: The first two chapters are mainly about him. Then chapter 3 comes and gives a little more screen time to Seras and Carl. Chapter 4 is mainly about the Millennium, but when he comes into play, he dies shortly after and Carl, Seras, and Rip become the main characters. He's even listed along with Seras as the fic's central characters until he dies, afterwhich it's just Seras until Rip's Heel Face Turn.
 * Dracula: Averted, in this fan fic they're two separate entities. A flashback in chapter five reveals this, where Alucard tried to visit Dracula to turn into a vampire. But he couldn't, since transformation only worked on the opposite sex.
 * Dropped a Bridge on Him: Getting killed with a massive bomb (which also qualifies as a Wave Motion Gun) is one thing, but the reason for him being unable to escape as his tank stalling on him? What.
 * Expy: Of Alejandro. He even breaks into a ripoff of This is How We Will End it in his fight with Jan, and he's even called "Alejandro" in the first chapter.
 * Word of God sometimes compares him more to Duncan's treatment in some Total Drama fan fics. Although it should be noted that Alejandro also goes through similar stuff. (Demoted a little, getting a brutal comeuppance, and being treated as someone far worse than they are. (Although for Alucard that's not until chapter nine, way after his death.))
 * Gosh Dang It to Heck: Again, he will UNLEESH HECK on the bad guys. It's also supposed to be his Catch Phrase, but he only says it twice, and once was in a flashback that supposedly explained the phase's origin.
 * Irony: He quote is said right before the battle that he dies in.
 * Killed Off for Real: By a minor villain no less.
 * Jan isn't so much of a minor villain in this fan fic, as he was fought three times and became more of a hassle during each fight.
 * Out-of-Character Moment:
 * Just try to picture Alucard saying "Scooby Dooby Doo!" just because someone made (possibly accidental) reference to the "You Meddling Kids" meme.
 * His randomly singing a ripoff of a song from Total Drama World Tour also counts.
 * Tank Goodness.
 * Verbal Tic:
 * He sometimes talks like a pirate. This would normally be excused as the fic's usual bad sentence structure, but it's notable in that nobody else does that.
 * Also like a stereotypical "wise mentor," even calling Seras "young grasshopper."
 * Your Vampires Suck: Why he killed Edward.

Integra Heck
"SERCH AND DESTROY TOES TRADERS!"

"To show [Lawyer Guy] meens bisness, he dun dun dun STABED INTEGRA THRU BACK! (hay this is borderline filer and I want a litel more plot revelense in here so that it not a complet waste of tim also theres a littel caracter developement cuz before there was not really that much)"
 * Blood From the Mouth: After being stabbed by Lawyer Guy.
 * Crash Into Hello: The way she met Alucard in this fan fic.
 * Dropped a Bridge on Her: Commented on:


 * Unfortunate Names: Honestly, what kind of a last name is "Heck?"

Seras Victoria
"Bein vamp sucks."


 * Abusive Parents: Her adoptive parents. They were jerks!
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: Yellow.
 * Disproportionate Retribution: She grinds Carl against a wall for flirting with her. The only reason why Carl survives was because he had washed his face with holy water, which doesn't make much sense.
 * Emergency Transformation: By Alucard, after he himself ends up shooting her by accident.
 * Fridge Logic: She's somehow able to bite and transform Carl without teeth.
 * And Carl's not a virgin. In fact, that's why Zorin was unable to "metaphor" him.
 * Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Carl's blue. Also, to some extent, red (or more like yellow) to Rip's blue.
 * Lady Swears a Lot: For some reason, she keeps spouting out increasingly lewd and disturbing threats to the Millennium. She also keeps dashing to attack them head-on. She swears more than Jan, who amusingly doesn't curse at all in this fic.
 * Spiritual Successor: Jade during the "Homerstuck" intermission of The Eds' EDventure acts a lot like her when she's in "Millennium mode." Both characters swear a lot, and both have made oddly specific threats. Jade even begins a statement ripped from a movie at one point, and Seras says the second part to it during chapter 3. ("...USS go fuck yourself or--" "...I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck!") They both even grind their designated love interest's faces on walls. (Of course, it never works.)
 * Stuff Blowing Up: Her bullets gain the ability to explode after she sleeps with Carl.
 * Too Dumb to Live: She's dashed on to attack "Card Guy" and Schrodinger head-on. She also attempted to do this with Walter and the Captain, but Rip, who is supposed to be a "loveable idiot" type character, stops her.
 * Tsundere: To Carl. It's even described as her accent. Very, very, very little on the dere.
 * Wangst: Her quote. Oddly, this isn't said until chapter 13, wherein she's been a vampire for thirty years.

Carl Stevens
"We goin to KICK DIS UP A NOTCH!"

Martian rockstar who got stranded on earth during a vacation. He killed Pip by accident on his way to earth. He is eventually promoted to Hecksing's leader after Integra's death.


 * Author Avatar: Parodied. It's not noticeable at first (wherein he seems to be more like a generic Marty Stu), but then several Author Tracts are added, as well as constant reveals that he is geeky.
 * Awesome but Impractical: His skill is only ever useful during the "Card Guy" fight. Outside of that, his weapon is essentially a weaker gun.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: Rainbow, man! Winning!
 * Double Standard: According to him, racism against vampires? Wrong! Racism against werewolves? Okay!
 * Also, it's okay to add another once-evil woman to a polygamous relationship and redemption, but any once-evil men who attempt the same should be cut in half. (Granted, it was Zorin who killed the soldier, not Carl, but this was heavily implied.)
 * Fantastic Racism: "Wherewolfs just smok pot and always ALL CAPS there senteses. They are suck."
 * Improbable Weapon User: A guitar that shoots deadly waves.
 * Jerkass: And how. Word of God intended to make him completely unbearable.
 * Marry Them All: His proposal at the end of chapter 7. It works, despite two of the participants being the enemy.
 * Memetic Mutation: Most of his character (and SBIG!John Egbert) is based on the "Winning!" music video more than the Charlie Sheen interviews themselves. John shows this more; the first intermission includes everything from the "list" in that video.
 * No Celebrities Were Harmed: He's a parody of Charlie Sheen, and a rather blatant one.
 * Parody Stu: Of a Jerk Stu, to be exact.
 * Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue to Seras' red.
 * Spiritual Successor: John during the "Homerstuck" intermission of The Ed's EDventure. It's hard to tell who's more annoying. (Oddly, his character in Sweet Jade and Hella John is more like canon John mixed with Hella Jeff.)
 * It should be noted that like Carl, John's primary love interests are a girl with short(-ish) blonde hair, and a long-haired brunette with glasses. Word of God says that this is more of a coincidence.
 * Spotlight-Stealing Squad: Especially noticeable during the Final Season (Chapters 10-13), where he's the one with most of the plans.

Rip Van Winkle
"We'll win. Because I have win in my name!"

Former member of Millennium until the London invasion, wherein she and Zorin disobeyed orders and slept with Carl. She got fired by the Doctor, through Schrodinger, and was hired in Hecksing not too long after by Integra.

For some, never explained reason, everything she says is written with perfect spelling and grammar.


 * Ascended Extra: Not only does she get a much bigger role, but it's also implied that.
 * This trope continues in Sweet Jade and Hella John.
 * Color Coded for Your Convenience: Blue. Bright blue, to be specific.
 * Bullet Hell: Her special skill involves controlling bullets... only in this fic, they multiply after she sleeps with Carl. And each of the multiples can be controlled. And this also goes for bullets fired from anything, even rapid fire machine guns.
 * Breast Expansion: Her breast size is incredibly inconsistent.
 * The Ditz.
 * Draco in Leather Pants: Obviously.
 * Dumb Blonde: Even though she's not blonde, she still fits the stereotype to some extent. (See: Chapter 4.)
 * Easily Forgiven: And how. For both the Millennium and Hecksing. She outright wipes out half of the "Wild Geass" and gets away with it pretty much because Carl has a boner for her. Before that, she makes a horribly stupid mistake and yet the Millennium forgive her because the Doctor... well, same reason as Carl.
 * Expy: Word of God says that her character in this fic is loosely based on portrayals of Lindsay. Also, of White she-devil. (The ending of chapter 7 makes the latter more obvious.)
 * It should be noted that That's So Cliche and Total Fan Service Plains both make refference to her attire through Bridgette and Lindsay, respectivly.
 * Gag Boobs.
 * High Heel Face Turn.
 * Informed Ability: She can "charm" people, but she never does so. Unless you count the Doctor seeing her after accidentally falling into water, but that was an accident.
 * Irony: Her charm skills? Yeah, she ends up falling for Carl, and would have won the "invashon" had she not fallen in love with him.
 * Karma Houdini: In all honesty, the worst thing that happens to her is that she gets fired. Which she even avoided the first time.
 * Meaningful Name: Apart from her quote, there's also how she Rips stuff out. Like how she rips Seras apart. When she was born, she ripped through paper. Steel paper.
 * Ms. Fanservice: Parodied.
 * Obfisucating Stupidity: She actually appears to be competant. She was able to take out Walter, one of the more ellite forces, and she came up with a complicated plan to take out Major in chapter 11. And the plan worked. And then there's the lengthy, semi-intellectual recap at the beginning of the final season, and pretty much everything she does in Sweet Jade and Hella John...
 * Older Than They Look: A flashback in chapter 5 reveals that she was the one who vampirized Alucard, since the latter needed a female to turn him. This occurred during World War II, and when she was vamperized herself was unknown.
 * Painting the Fourth Wall: For some reason, she speaks in completely clear and correct grammar. And it's weird to see that after three chapters of Large Ham.
 * It's short sentences on her first appearance, though. Arguably it's because there's not much to be said during that incident.
 * Redemption Equals Sex: The end of chapter 7.
 * Red Oni, Blue Oni: Blue to Seras's red, when Carl's not around to fulfill that role.
 * Self Fanservice.
 * Small Name, Big Ego: See her quote.
 * Stealth Pun: She's part of a Nazi organization, and uses perfect grammar and spelling in a fan fic otherwise filled with Rouge Angels Of Satin. She's a Grammar Nazi.
 * The Stoner: Before joining the Millennium, she and the Captain were a pair of supernatural stoners. They, or at least the Captain, still take drugs now.
 * Stripperific: Her usual attire, consisting of nothing but a thong and shirt, which she wears almost all the time. The exceptions are when she's naked, and her "cannon suit" towards the end of chapter 7.
 * The Vamp: Implied. She's been stated to be able to "charm" people and was even sent at first to charm Alucard. It's unknown if her skills could work on Al, because Jan took the mission instead.
 * Verbal Tic: A possible aversion. She talks perfectly. As in, not with the usual SBIG typoes. It's not that noticeable until around chapters 8 onward, but it's still there.
 * Wet Sari Scene: Four times. One with blood, no less.

Zorin Blitz
Another person sent as part of the London "Invashon." Like Rip, she falls for Carl, but unlike Rip, she dies in the very next chapter.


 * Cluster S Bomb: Her reaction upon finding out she would be partnered with Rip.
 * Cruel and Unusual Death: She's killed when Walter takes a huge extract of blood from Mayor Quimby, weaponizes it into a fist, a punches her face so hard that it flies right through it.
 * Early-Bird Cameo: She appears in chapter 3 with little lines and disguises as Seras in a Paper Mario reffrence... for some reason.
 * High Heel Face Turn
 * Redemption Equals Death: Chapter 8. Along with...
 * Redemption Equals Sex: Alongside Rip.
 * Shout-Out: Her abilities are constantly referred to as "metaphoring," which is apparently a reference to a deleted article on the SCP Foundation about a mask that "metaphors" people until they die.
 * They Plotted a Perfectly Good Waste: She dies one chapter after joining Hecksing's forces.
 * What Could Have Been: The author had planned on actually sparing her until the end of the fan fic. Then he planned on having Seras drink her blood and summon her as a familiar in the final chapter. Neither of these happened, and when she died, she stayed dead.
 * The Worf Effect: Getting defeated by Walter in chapter 8 with little to no effort.

Master Chief/Kamina
"Four vampires? 3 of them hot chiks? This is gonna be SWEAT!"

After Alucard's death, Integra took a trip to New York in order to find a replacement for him. While there, she was attacked by a giant mutant Homer Simpson (no, it's never explained how he came to be), but he was defeated by an unknown person, whom Integra hired as Al's replacement. The person turned out to be the Master Chief, who in turn would later reveal to be Kamina.


 * Flat Character: As the "Master Chief," he has next to no characterization aside from being a generic party dude at one scene. (Which provides the page quote.)
 * The Quiet One: As the Chief. And that's saying something; the second most silent character is arguably Rip, who still occasionally babbles about some stuff.
 * The Worf Effect: He dies just before the Final Boss to demonstrate Hitler's life drain abilities.

Walter
See Millennium folder, below.

The Millennium in general provide examples of:

 * Monster Mash: They consist of several vampires, a magical sharpshooter "demon queen", a witch, a quantum catboy, a "God fiter" werewolf, a fallen angel, a mad scientist, and a robot. Also, counting Hitler, a snake-man.
 * Retcon: They no longer blow up any agents who fail but survive their mission. This shows to be important to the plot; Jan would later decoy and kill Alucard while Rip and Zorin would partake in the "invashon" and later join Hecksing. If the latter were to happen the the chips didn't have the self-destruct feature, said two members would be destroyed immediately. Or, Jan would have actually died instead of being used for the robo-arm project, and Rip would succeed in charming Alucard.
 * Show Within a Show: They run one.
 * Those Two Bad Guys: They are partnered up ala the Akasuki: Jan and Luke (the siblings); "Card Guy" and Schrodinger (the odd ones out); Rip and Zorin (the only females); Captain and Walter (one apparently trains the other or something); and Major and Doctor (Big Bad and The Dragon). Captain and Rip, two Platonic Life Partners, were also once partnered up before the events of the fan fic.
 * Those Wacky Nazis: A statement actually said in the Show Within a Show in chapter 5.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: Luke, "Card Guy," and the Captain being the primary offenders. Although there were a few hologram scenes with the latter one, and he even had a small role in the Show Within a Show.
 * What Could Have Been: They were originally not going to be called "Millennium" in this fic, just "The Nazis." Oddly, they're rarley reffered to as Nazis.

The Major
"KILLIN IS TEH AWSOME!"

""I like war. It makes my penis nice and hard.""
 * Cross Dresser: His role as the mother in a Show Within a Show, as pointed out several times.
 * Rousing Speech: You know his infamous "I love war" speech? Yeah, it's shortened down to only ten words.


 * Verbal Tic: He always replaces "you" and variants with "Jew."

Dr. The Doctor
"Im afade i cant help you w/ that."

Now promoted to Millennium's second in command.


 * Distracted by the Sexy: It kept him from firing Rip.
 * The Dragon: Technically.
 * Hoist by His Own Petard: He ends up getting crushed by a leg of the Titan Mecha.

The Captain
"SEND ME. I GOD FITER."

Millennium's self-proclaimed "trump card" and good fighter. He's the Major's talkative, emotional werewolf bodyguard who tends to wear a full SS uniform. He wishes to do most, if not all, of the dirty work. The Captain finally gets his wish when he is sent on the Quimby capture, but is shortly after shot and killed by the Chief.


 * Adult Child: And how!
 * Anticlimax: For Millennium's trump card, he goes down really quick.
 * Back for the Finale: It turns out that Rip went back to the Grand Canyon between chapters 9 and 10 and drank his blood. He later reappears as a familiar in chapter 13.
 * Berserk Button: Making dog noises to tease him. In a deleted scene Carl said "Woof," which made the Captain go into a speech about not mocking people for who they are. By the way, this is a neo-Nazi we're talking about.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: His "actor" tells kids not to eat random mushrooms from the ground after David Haselhoff reveals that mushrooms are why he's big. Since he's dead, there are three other people in the scene, and kids likely won't be reading this in the first place, and that not eating random food in the wild is an obvious lesson, it is odd why this happens in the first place.
 * The Dragon: Not anymore.
 * Hidden Depths: He has a strong taste in "black" music, a reference to Undercover Brother.
 * Unfortunate Implications: Four chapters ago, anything the Millennium liked was supposed to be seen as "bad" as evident in the "message" at the end of the Show Within a Show, and vise-a-versa. Take this into consideration... the ironic part was that we were supposed to see him picking this song as a good thing.
 * Motor Mouth: He talks a lot, in complete contrast to his canon self.
 * New Powers as the Plot Demands: He can fly. As in, he can actually take off into the air in his wolf form and fly.
 * No Indoor Voice: He almost always talks in ALL CAPS. The first time he speaks in lower case (unless you count an "accidental" turning off of caps lock in the short Show Within a Show in chapter 5) was not until chapter 8, his proper introduction.
 * Small Name, Big Ego: A lot of talk, but little to no action.
 * The Stoner: Along with Rip, before they were in the Millennium.
 * X Meets Y: The author describes him as dog tier-Jade and Karkat's illegitimate lovechild with a hint of Ezekiel and Mr. Feather thrown in.

Walter
"Ha ha ha i told them i no Millennium AND THEY BELIFFED ME!"


 * Back for the Dead: He regenerates as a fallen angel, only to get ran over by Integra almost immediately after.
 * Bloody Murder: He uses Mayor Quimby's blood briefly during chapter 8.
 * Fallen Angel: "Angel of Death" is not just a nickname.
 * Paper-Thin Disguise: How he acts as a spy.
 * Suspiciously Specific Denial: He would like to remind you that he has no connections with the Millennium at all. Nope, none at all.
 * The Untwist: Parodied with the way he acts.

Schrodinger
"YOU CANT KILL ME! I QUANTOM FISICKS!"

The Millennium's messenger. He can't die, because he is quantum physics.


 * Offscreen Teleportation: Averted. In this fan fic, he can teleport on screen. Using fairy dust.

Tubalcain "Card Guy" Alhambra
"Wanna see my card triks?"

The Millennium's dude in Brazil. Because every successful organization has one.


 * Back for the Dead: A line-less, actionless mention during chapter 4, where Alucard uses him along with his other familiars to try to take down Jan. And since Alucard is dead, that makes him and the others Deader Than Dead (as it was revealed Jan did not drink Al's blood.)
 * Fridge Logic: The Millennium's hideout is in the Grand Canyon in this fic, not Brazil. So why the hell do they need someone in Brazil in the first place? Why are they even bothering with a plan to launch a surprise attack on Brazil when the goal is to invade "The United Kingdoms of London?"
 * Too Dumb to Live: He openly admits he's a part of the Millennium after Carl asks him so.

Jan Valentine
"U mad?"

Initially one of the Millennium's two hitmen sent to "test" out Hecksing's forces. However, he manages to escape, but with a missing arm, so the Doctor gives him a powerful synthetic arm and assigns him to guard the Millennium's hideout. He disobeys, taking a mission intended for Rip and ultimately leads to Alucard's demise.


 * Crosses the Line Twice: He uses Rip's paintbrush to paint a penis out of blood.
 * Deadpan Snarker: It's not evident in his first appearance, but comes chapter 4 where he randomly refferences Bugs Bunny (but not the blackface one since it's racist), tricks Rip into taking a Nazicopter (which provides his quote), mocks Alucard's appearance, and in chapter 8 where he starts insulting Carl and the Chief.
 * Onor Before Reason: He'd rather cause a massive suicide explosion than fight his own brother. This doesn't really make sense, but neither does much of SBIG.
 * Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: He prevented the Millennium from controlling Alucard. Think about it.
 * Stuff Blowing Up: His arm has a self-destruct feature capable of taking out an entire aircraft carrier and killing Alucard. (Strangely, his tank is able to survive it.)
 * Recurring Boss: He's fought a total of three times, unlike the other villains who are only fought once.

Luke Valentine
"Uh oh im starting to thik THIS IS BAD IDEA."

The other hitmen and Jan's brother. While Jan escapes Hecksing Manor, Luke is killed by Alucard in a very humiliating battle.


 * Back for the Dead: See "Card Guy."
 * Curb Stomp Battle: It's even worse than in canon. We're talking a fight that isn't even so much a fight as it is a Chase Scene.
 * Super Speedo
 * Villainous Breakdown: See his quote. Also doubles as an understatement. He's notably the only character to face Alucard who does this.

The Titan Mecha
A mechanical device build by the Doctor. Him, Major, and Schodinger ride it at the beginning of the "Final Season."

Not technically a character, since it is inanimate.


 * Elemental Powers: It can shoot fire, electricity, poison, and... water. It later adds explosives after merging itself with Alucard's tank.

Hitler Badguy
"belittle? al's ALWWAYS been littel, eh!"

Not a technical part of Millennium, as he does oversee a wide variety of "evil organizations," but still leads the Millennium.


 * Abusive Older Sibling: To Alucard.
 * Anticlimax Boss: Chapter 12 was supposed to be the big showdown between the remainder of Hecksing and him. Instead, it only lasts a little more than ten lines, and is the shortest chapter by far as he goes down by accidentally bitting Schrodinger.
 * Big Bad
 * Canada, Eh?: He has a really thick Canadian accent for a reason that is never explained.
 * Chekhov's Gunman: He appears in hologram form in chapter 1, but doesn't reappear until the end of chapter 11.
 * Critical Research Failure: Just look at his name.
 * Expy: Of several people, actually. Eddy's brother, Eridan, Ezekiel, and Jose.
 * Hoist by His Own Petard: He ends up getting killed by the last member of the Millennium through an accident.
 * Also, his own life-drain skill caused that.
 * Man Behind the Man
 * vverbal tooc: He talks oon a redicooloosly thick canadioon accoont, replooces soome vvoowwels with "oo," and doobles hoos "Vs" and "Ws," eh. The last part is notably part of Eridan's typing method, to which he also talks with. (His sentences are not capitalized and he refers to characters -- notably Alucard -- by their first syllable.)

Rip Van Winkle and Zorin Blitz
See the Hecksing folder, above.

Mayor Quimby
"er a um, thonk you for sving us. er a um, BUT YOU FORGET TO PUT CLOS ON FIRST!"

He's the presedent of the United Kingdoms of London. Yeah.


 * Designated Hero: He's implied to have done more bad than good, and the fic out-and-out states he speaks in a "corrupt" accent. (Word of God says this "accent" includes his "er a um" Verbal Tic.)
 * Emergency Transformation: By Carl, as he was almost dying from the blood Walter stole from him.
 * Remember the New Guy?: He isn't introduced or even implied to exist until chapter 8, but afterwhich he gets a heavty ammount of screen time and plot role in every following chapter except 12.
 * Suspiciously Similar Subsitute: Of Integra, after her death.
 * Verbal Tic: er a um, he always begins his sentences with a stutter. er a um, the annoying thing is that it isn't capitalized.

Lawyer Guy

 * Giant Space Flea From Nowhere: He comes out of nowhere, is the only antagonist to explicitly not have connection to Hitler's forces, and is a flipping robot.
 * No Name Given.
 * Rediculously Human Robots: A "Terminator2" to be specific (T-1000).
 * Villain of the Week.

Ned Flanders
"Wogly wogly Mr Badguy!"


 * Crack Pairing: With Anderson. No, we don't get it either, but in this fan fic they're in a relationship.
 * Driven to Suicide: After Anderson's death.
 * For the Evulz: Honestly, he has no reason to betray Hecksing at all.
 * Shout-Out: His quote is one to Bart the General.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye.
 * Villain of the Week.

Alexander Anderson
"And the god said to the Jesus LET THERE BE NO VAMPIRES, and so that is wy ALL VAMPIRS MUST DIE!"


 * Back for the Dead: See Card Guy.
 * Crack Pairing: For some reason, he's paired up with Ned Flanders.
 * Curse Cut Short: "NO WAT THE FU." Keep in mind that characters and even the narrator swear regularly in later chapters, although Anderson is dead by that point.
 * Demoted to Extra: Not nearly as important as in the original series. At all.
 * Disk One Final Boss: "Final boss of the fan fic" my ass.
 * Gosh Dangit to Heaven: "WHAT THE HEVEN? nOT AGAIN WITH THIS aLUCARD! wHAT ARE YOU, INVISIBLE?"
 * Hypocrite: He's against vampires... and yet in this fic, the vampire priest that attacked the village (forest in this fan fic due to Adaption Decay) is a part of the same organization.
 * Van Helsing Hate Crimes: It -- and his and Flanders' betrayal -- makes Alucard sick.
 * And Carl.
 * Villain of the Week.

Vatican Section 666
A group split off from Heavensing, and one of Hitler's armies (alongside Millennium and Heavensing). They attempt to revive Hitler's groups thirty years after the events of the first 12 chapters.


 * Badass Decay: Maxwell's methods of slaughtering London are much weaker than
 * Book Ends: An evil religious group being both the first and last people to be seen battled by Hecksing.
 * Critical Research Failure: Their military is mistakenly referred to as "KKK members," based on how they dressed.
 * Fridge Logic: Why would a catholic organization name themselves with the Number of the Beast?
 * Demoted to Extra: All three of them.
 * Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Heinkel, courtesy of Rip.
 * Katanas Are Just Better: Yumie. She even babbles about her katana while Seras prepares to face her.
 * Number of the Beast: Take a wild guess.
 * Villain of the Week: They don't serve much other than a group of antagonists that Hecksing faces in the epilogue to show how they are now.

Dracula
Alucard went to him to try to turn himself into a vampire. It didn't work.


 * Elmer FLUDD Syndrome

Pip B

 * Demoted to Extra: He only has two lines in the entire fan fic.
 * Die for Our Ship: For Carl/Seras.
 * Carl/Seras/Rip/Zorin, to be more specific.
 * Dropped a Spaceship On Him.
 * We Hardly Knew Ye: Again, only two lines.

Ren & Stimpy
Not technical characters, but do appear through Show Within a Show.


 * Back for the Finale
 * The Cameo: Twice.
 * Critical Research Failure: In chapter 13, Rip (and the fan fic) credits the creator as Matt Groening, rather than John Kricfalusi. Odd, since the clip in the same chapter shows knowledge of John K's "never use the same expression twice" standard. Also odd, because this is Rip we're talking about, who is the fan fic's Only Sane Woman to the extent that she knows more than the faux-alter ego writing the story.
 * Getting Carp Past The Radar: In-universe. Explicitly stated in bold, no less.
 * The second clip has an uncensored use of the F word, which makes you wonder how the show got accepted in the first place.
 * Gross-Out Show: Just like the real show.
 * Nausea Fuel: Ren in the first clip. Quite possibly the most disturbing moment in the entire fan fic, even for a Hellsing fic and even through the clip was only three lines.
 * Word of God says
 * Precision F-Strike: Stimpy drops an F-bomb on the second clip. And this was supposed to be broadcasted on a kids award show!
 * And, you know, R&S is supposed to be a kid's show.
 * Shout-Out: To a scene from early The Simpsons that used them. The first R&S clip is modeled off of that part, only with a sandwich rather than meatball soup.
 * The second clip is one to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.
 * Show Within a Show
 * Stunned Silence: Ren's reaction when Stimpy implies what the sandwich is made out of. Well, that and making a face of "crazy and ANGER."
 * What Do You Mean It's for Kids?: In universe. And how. Quite amusing, since the fan fic itself parodies this trope.
 * What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic: Great Pikmin Fan joked that Ren and Stimpy symbolize the atomic bomb and sex, respectively, in this fan fic.
 * If you take in the context of the first clip, this makes far more sense than it should...

Noah
He's from a different Anime.

Crack Fic

Springfield Republican Nazi Party Inner Circle Units (SRNPICU)
A group of thirteen Republicans who want to take over the world. Most of them die like flies.

Feminazis -- Experiments
Four people who have eaten a pill that will allow them to turn into incubi. Since they are all men, Lisa considers them "pawns."

♥ Sideshow Bob ♥
The first experiment, who took the transformation pill as a reward for saving Lisa's life.

♠ Moe Syzlack ♠
The fourth and final experiment. Got the pill from a bargain with Lisa, wherein instead of paying Lisa for band candy he has to take the last pill. The reason for this is because unlike Bob, he considers becoming an incubi to be a curse rather than a gift.

Mindy Simmons
An agent.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 Special Edition

Funny Anyerism Moment