The Joker/Funny

""But I just draw! I can't write!"
 * The Hostess Fruit Pies ad of long ago, where he stole a kid's report card.
 * The best part of that is, if you didn't know it's a fruit pie ad, it's totally believable for Joker to do that in canon just to be a dick.
 * Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth is a very dark, very mind-screwy, and very scary comic. Nonetheless, seeing the Joker slap Batman's ass is unbelievably hilarious.
 * The entirety of The Batman Adventures #16:
 * Life in the world of comic book publishing:

"Write?! It's a comic book!""

"Joker: Ice cream! Bomb pops! Hey, kid! How about some ice cream?
 * Mistah J, disguised as an ice cream vendor in the dead of winter, has this exchange with a kid he's about to kidnap:

Kid: Ice cream? But it's freezing out here.

Joker: Well then, how about a violent abduction instead?

(Joker's goons grab the kid and stuff him into the ice cream cart headfirst)

Joker: Ah, what the heck. Take both, my treat. It's the season of giving, after all."

"Amoral Attorney: I don't want them to think you're guilty. The city's case is weak. You could walk if they can't pin the murders on you.
 * Another for the Joker, from Joker: Devil's Advocate:

Joker: It's a no-brainer, Milt. Just prove I'm crazy and it doesn't matter if they connect me to some poisoned stamps.

Amoral Attorney: Oh, it's that easy to show insanity?

(Joker slams face into a metal table without the slightest hesitation; brings it up to show an unflinching grin and a face speckled with blood)

Joker: It's THAT easy."

"Joker (After being threatened to drop out of the race for Governor by Two-Face): Who does he think he is? Who two people does he think he is? Trying to influence an election... this ain't Florida!"
 * Detective Comics #826 - all of it.
 * This little gem from Steve Englehart's Dark Detective mini:

"Harley Quinn: "I can't believe he's gone."
 * The Arkham Redemption.
 * From Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader?:

Joker: "I can't believe he didn't die when he first dressed like a giant bat and jumped off the roof.""

""All I want is to have a good time! And to annoy Batman whenever possible. And to one day murder Batman and defile his carcass sexually. And a pony.""
 * This quote from Batman: Cacophony:

""If I explained it in terms that a fly could understand, maybe the fly can explain it to you.""
 * Lest we forget of a certain magic trick.
 * John Arcudi's "Auteurism" (Legends of the Dark Knight #162-63) has several of these for Mistah J, but the crowning one has to be this line he delivers to a henchman who - surprise, surprise - thinks that Joker's latest plan makes no sense.


 * The Batman the Brave And The Bold episode ''Joker: The Vile and the Villainous!" In his own twisted way, Joker's the hero, teaming up with the Weeper so Gotham can be safe for Criminals once more. By stopping Batman from building the Bat-Probe, a device which tracks crimes as they happen. Hilarity Ensues.
 * Two Words: Joker's Boner.
 * Joker's finishing move in Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe is just perfect.
 * You're a mean one, mister Joker...
 * And the video game Batman: Arkham Asylum has him, in a thong (in word only, but still).