The Departed/Funny

"Dignam: This is unbelievable. Who put the fuckin' cameras in this place?
 * Tension breakers are few but quite welcome. They're mostly provided by Dignam.

Police Camera Tech: Oh! Who the fuck are you?

Dignam: I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy."

"Queenan: Congratulations on passing the detectives' exam, and welcome to the Special Investigation Unit.
 * During Sullivan's first meeting with Queenan and Dignam:

Dignam: Whoop-de-fuckin'-do."

""I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself.""
 * Ellerby to Sullivan (without a pause)

"Colin: Do you have anyone inside Costello's organization now?
 * Sullivan goes to meet with Frank in a porno theater (with Costigan attempting to tail him). The guy sitting in front of his is obviously masturbating, and getting louder. Just as it sounds as if he's about to cum, he stands up and shows his dick to Sullivan... only for it to turn out to be Costello with a black flesh-colored dildo sticking out of his pants!
 * The cranberry juice scene. Just sheer shocking brilliant comedy.

Dignam: Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe fuck yourself."