Paranoia (game)/Funny

"Friend Computer: The medical chimpanzees are waiting outside. Who would like to play a game of ping pong?
 * This Tropers RPG group has a standing house rule that any briefing that goes by without a death is regarded as a failure. As such, much hilarity has ensued. Par example, these 3 consecutive sessions:

Two-thirds of the players assent to this, albiet cautiously.

Friend Computer: Ping pong is an unsanctioned game. Only sanctioned games provide sufficient happiness. Report for re-education"

"Friend Computer: This concludes the briefing. Who would like to play a game of poker?
 * Re-education, incidently, consisted of being attacked by the aforesaid (Computer controlled) monkeys

Beat

One guy raises his hand

Friend Computer: A desire to play poker indicates a desire to spread wealth. Spreading wealth is communism. Communism is treason.

Turret drops from the ceiling and frags him

Friend Computer: Have a nice daycycle."

"Friend computer: Who would like to play a game of Trivial Pursuit?

The players, wary by now, keep silent

Friend Computer: Unwillingness to play games indicates an unnaturally low level of happiness. Happiness is mandatory. You will all be dispatched to the Happiness Enhancement room."


 * A death trap obstacle course, naturally