Go, Ye Heroes, Go and Die/Laconic

When a so-called "motivational speech" sets the army marching-- in the other direction.

"Go to the unabridged version HERE, with courage and honor, not minding the three hundred thousand zombies that will bite you in the way, causing you to die a horrible, horrible death and be changed into an evil, mindless mockery of life, you brave, brave... Wait, where are you going? The unabridged version is the other way."