LWW Ritzed

Some time around 2004, after the founder of Dozerfleet Productions came up with The Trapezoid Kids, an idea also spawned for a "Frosted Fairy Tales" Story Arc. The Trapezoids would spend an entire episode inside a twisted, zany version of Narnia, royally messing things up. Then, an idea spawned for a spin-off story. Not yet published, it remains in Development Hell waiting its turn. The proposal's official page is here.

LWW Ritzed is a parody of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, one in which the entire world of the story has been transformed by a magician's accident with a "Ritzing formula" and a jazz CD into one really massive Cloudcuckooland. It begins normally enough, with the kids at a train station waiting to get hauled off to a mansion. Somebody is strongly implied to get run over by the train, with the girls visibly appalled and the boys too busy arguing to even notice. They end up at the mansion, only for a fifth child to show up - a space alien named "Ellis" who talks black for no apparent reason. The kids, with Lucy being an exception, are all really busy trying to figure out what to do with Ellis, so Lucy goes exploring.

The wardrobe she finds...is alive! It tosses her inside, and after cackling maniacally, spins around really fast and teleports her to a forest. From there on out, she befriends a pirate faun named Tumnus Tumbles who switches voices when he sings.

Eddie finds his way there next, when wondering just what his sister was babbling about when she said that Warby was alive. He encounters Jadis Witchy Jane, who seduces him with super-addictive "turkies" into revealing his siblings "and the one dude we can't figure out." He assures her he doesn't know any Trapezoids, and she invites him to her "Ice Palace Arena," full of "wolves that hold rap concerts."

Finally, British intelligence raids the mansion in search of Ellis, so the kids all decide to hid him inside Warby. That's when he comes alive again and transports all of them. From there, they meet the siblings Marv and Larinov Beaver, kill a wolf with a chainsaw, encounter Jane's idiotic sidekick Ginnarbrick Dibby, discover the wand has an "ice" and "stone" mode that Jane can never keep straight, that her wand runs on batteries, and that Narnia is completely insane.

They eventually get to be coronated, after Jane gets  (literally!) They enjoy jazz halls constantly, and then Warby abducts them and sends them back to England. Except...where's Ellis? He is revealed to have become !

""Man? Why's it always me?""
 * Alternate Character Interpretation: Everyone.
 * "It's a-mee-ah-Azzie!!!" - Aslan Azzie
 * "We're the Super Beaver Brothers!" - Mr. and Mrs. Marv Beaver and Larinov Beaver
 * "I hope they made lots of fish sticks!" - Larinov
 * "Ah, you broke your sword, you idiot! Now whattya gonna do? Huh?" *chainsaw appears* "That's....cheeeeaaaatiiiiiinnnnggggg!!!" - Maugrim Morgie.
 * *shrugs* "Not again!" *sigh* "That's the fifth time this week, I tell you, I've had to buy new batteries for this thing!" - Jane
 * Captain Ersatz: Jane and Dibby have the same relationship as Divatox and Elgar.
 * Cloudcuckooland: Narnia
 * Chainsaw Good: Peter battling Morgie, after he breaks his sword.
 * Marty Stu: Ellis. Lampshaded.


 * Shout-Out: The story is MADE of these!
 * Totally Radical: Azzie, "Witchy Jane," the Slab (Stone Table), Warby, and a lot of other things.
 * Troll Fic