Swiss Army Weapon/Quotes

"Voila, the ZF-1. It's light; handle's adjustable for easy carrying; good for righties and lefties; breaks down into four parts; undetectable by X-ray; ideal for quick discreet interventions. A word on firepower. Titanium recharger; 3000-round clip with bursts of 3 to 300. With the replay button, another Zorg invention, it's even easier. One shot, and replay sends every following shot to the same location. And to finish the job, all the Zorg oldies but goldies. Rocket launcher... arrow launcher with exploding or poisonous gas heads, very practical... our famous net launcher... the always-efficient flamethrower, my favorite... and for the grand finale, the all-new 'Ice-cube System'."

- Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg, The Fifth Element

""Micro Armaments System, Rifle. It's... oh, look, Zakalwe; it has ten separate weapon systems, not including the semi-sentient guard facility, the reactive shield components, the IFF-set quick-reaction swing-packs or the AG unit, and before you ask, the controls are all on the wrong side because that's the left-hand bias version, and the balance -- like the weight and the independently variable inertia -- are fully adjustable. It also takes about half a year's training just to learn how to use it safely, let alone competently, so you can't have one.""

- Skaffen-Amtiskaw, in, appropriately enough, Iain M. Banks' Culture novel Use of Weapons

""I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then I could keep both Dracula and Superman away.""

- Jack Handey