Dreadful Musician/Quotes

"''Oh, I write love songs for my favorite girl

And sing them soft and low

But before I get to finish

She says she has to go

She's nice and says, "Excuse me,

I've got to find a bar

I think I need refreshment

'Fore I hear you play guitar."''"

- Harry Chapin, "Six-String Orchestra"

"Get off that piano. You're hurting its feelings!"

- "Jelly Roll" Morton (legendary jazz musician)

"Klink: Col. Hogan, I have decided not to play in your prisoners' orchestra. I may, however, do a solo over the loudspeaker system.

Hogan: Well, if I were you, I'd wait until the general leaves, sir.

Klink: Why?

Hogan: I mean, how would it look, a mass escape while he's here?"

- Hogan's Heroes, Movies Are Your Best Escape

"Accordion, n. An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin."

- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary