The Expendables/Headscratchers


 * How come nobody used the Disturbed song "Indestructible" either in a scene or in a trailer? Can't you just see it, though? The heavy metal song about being an invincible warrior blasting in the background as the four manliest, most muscle-bound heroes (and Jet Li) of all time wielding big fucking guns as they emerge from cover, flames in the background, shooting the crap out of the soldiers. It would be amazing.
 * There's a limit to how badass they were allowed to make it. As it is, The Expendables barely fell under the maximum RBQ (Recommended Badass Quotient) for a film, and any more would have caused riots, universal testicular gigantism and a return to a lawless life of violence and explosions. Society would be unable to hold.
 * The real reason is because Shinedown's "Diamond Eyes" is even more badass, and it is used in the Extended Cut. Now, sing it with me: Boom-lay, boom-lay, BOOM!
 * Why wasn't Arnold in a bigger role i call missed moment of awesome!
 * Apparently both Bruce and Arnold worked without pay for that scene as a personal favor to Stallone.
 * He IS the governor of California you know.
 * That excuses nothing. NEEDS MORE ARNOLD!!
 * AND BRUCE!!
 * And MICKEY ROURKE!!!
 * I think you mean Der Guvernator
 * As of January 3, 2011, he is no longer the Governor. I believe there is a sequel and, they are looking to expand Arnold and Bruce's roles along with expanding the rest of the cast.
 * Uh, you know, I heard that he got caught being unfaithful to his wife and having at least one kid with his mistress. I wonder if anyone would even want to seem his face on a film after a scandal like that.
 * Who cares? Every celebrity has scandals. His private life should not affect his acting ability. He's Ahnold. People will just be glad the Terminator is back. And yes, he's set to reprise his role in Terminator 5.
 * If Michael Vick can return to playing football after straight up murdering dozens of dogs, then Arnie shouldn't have a problem returning to acting.
 * Sad that the movie gives us so little in terms of characters for most of the team members. I mean try to describe Terry Crews' character without mentioning his gun or skin color? I'll be here waiting. I know it's supposed to be an homage to 80s action movies, but even these films gave us more characterization than that (Compare with Predator that gives us decent rounded view of each team member - and most of them die before the end!).
 * Terry Crews' character was basically President Camacho's election campaign, end of story.
 * Since we're asking questions, why give a shit about the characters? It's not that kind of movie! Most of them could be summed up with a few words: Toll Road was a pseudointellectual with cauliflower ears, Yang was a little guy who needed more money, and Gunnar was really big and completely off his nut. That's as far as their characterization needs to go; anything more is just getting in the way of the ass-kicking.
 * Despite the cast the movie isn't an ensemble piece, it's just a bunch of muscular dudes shooting guns, destroying things and breaking necks. The actual story is told mostly through Sly and Statham, with Li and Rourke providing some backup. And despite all that, each character got a moment to shine regardless of screen time and lines they had. Even if you don't know much about Caesar at the end, you will remember the AA-12... Show, Don't Tell at work.
 * Very disappointed that Van Damme and Seagal didn't accept the roles they were offered. It would've been the perfect 80's Action Narmtacular!
 * The scuttlebutt was that Seagal had prior commitments and couldn't take a role, while Van Damme wanted top billing. When they wouldn't give it to him, he went and made Universal Soldier 46: Geez, That Time I Popped a Boner on Live TV Was Less Embarassing Than This instead.
 * JCVD refused because he didn't have a properly developed character. But at the end of the day, JCVD REFUSES to be in a movie with Seagal for some epeen-like argument they had once upon a time. Seagal has turned down the chance again so maybe JCVD will be in it if he can get over his own ego.
 * Jean Claude Van Damme wanted to see a complete script and know what character he was going to play before signing on. The method of pre-production Sly was using was basically "Get the cast, create the characters, write the story" and thus didn't have anything concrete when negotiating with him. It can be assumed that when making the sequel they actually had a role in mind for JCVD, apparently as a villain, and was able to lure him in with that.
 * Why did they allow Gunnar (Dolph's character) back into the group at the end? I mean,, but at the end he was just chilling with them like nothing happened.
 * Because they understand that he went evil due to a PTSD-induced psychotic break and that it could happen to any of them? They do imply he's now in therapy.
 * Also, he was on drugs. " you're using again." Note how it wasn't a question.
 * Tell me he wasn't in a BAD PLACE before.
 * Other than it being an 80s movie trope and therefore, had to be present: Why the screaming blue hell did Munroe and Paine drag Sandra along with them when made their escape? Had they just ditched her and ran, the probably escape with room to spare.
 * Because if you've got a hostage, the heroes will hesitate to shoot you. If you don't, they'll open fire soon as they can see you. Also remember that Munroe didn't know that Ross was there for the girl. He thought The Expendables were just there to kill him, personally. If he knew that bringing Sandra along as a hostage would only encourage Ross to follow, he'd have just let her go when he made his escape.
 * And frankly, you could fill half a page with questions about Sandra: Why didn't Garza have her shipped off to a convent somewhere? Why didn't she leave with Ross and Christmas when she had the chance? Why did she stop Garza from killing Munroe? Just... WHY SO STUPID?!?
 * He probably didn't have her shipped off because he still hoped for some sort of reconciliation, and also because where she was, he could keep an eye on her. She didn't leave because she didn't want to abandon her cause there. I don't remember well enough why she stopped Garza from killing Munroe.
 * She probably stopped him from killing Munroe because she's Genre Savvy enough to know that Munroe would have murdered him right there.
 * Except the only backup Munroe had in that scene was Paine. Neither of them get off a shot if Garza follows through. So we're right back to "Why?"
 * You're not being Genre Savvy enough, here, bro. If Garza follows through, Munroe is going to kill him. Somehow. Paine would kill Garza, or Munroe would suddenly prove too quick for Garza, or something.
 * Because she's a nice, peaceful girl who is invoking If You Kill Him You Will Be Just Like Him.
 * Too bad Wesley Snipes was busy getting investigated for tax evasion. They had some chemistry going with Stallone in Demolition Man. Add some shades and a Badass Longcoat (maybe a katana or two), and you got Blade again.
 * Maybe just one fight with a katana for Actor Allusion - Snipes would likely get a GPMG or HMG a la Black Dude from Predator (and be the Foil to Terry Crews, calling him out for overdoing it.)
 * This troper was a little annoyed that there was barely any specialization between the characters. Everything was either an Informed Ability or All On The Website. Jason Statham's character is a Knife Nut, but he barely gets to use them. Jet Li's character is supposed to be the best martial artist, and yet he can't beat Dolph Lundgren (admittedly, size does matter). Terry Crews likes big guns... and so does everyone else in the movie. The whole point of teamwork is that no one person is an expert in everything. That is why you have different people do what works for them.
 * Possibly due to scripting. There wasn't much opportunity for them to show off anything other than basic stealth warfare and basic squad warfare. Sure there was a fight here and there but we expect that. Still, it would've been nice if the fight between Li and Lundgren had been more involved. Possibly with Li trying to, for example, attack Lundgren's KNEES or something. Since that would be how a martial artist would try to fight a guy who was two feet taller than him.
 * I'm curious as to how much imput the actors had in those fights; I wouldn't be surprised if you were to ask Jet Li, he'd say Lundgren could take him in an actual fight(Lundgren being an accomplished martial artist himself in addition to the size difference), so they might have wanted the fight to reflect that. All speculation on my part, though.
 * Did we watch the same movie? Because Jason Statham was using knives constantly, and Terry Crews was consistently using the largest and most powerful weapons in the movie.
 * Where is Milla Jovovich? Charlize Theron? Summer Glau? If they were trying to field all the greatest action heroes of cinema, it would have been nice to see at least one of the fairer sex.
 * You're missing the point. It was a throwback to 80s action movies, which were all about muscle, guns, and testosterone. Not Waif Fu.
 * I'm not sure it's a "throwback to 80s action movies" so much as "look at all those famous faces in the same movie". But in that case, I'd say at least Milla Jovovich is much better qualified to be in a movie about muscle, guns and testosterone than Jet Li.
 * Yes, it was explicitly a throwback to 80s action movies, that was the whole point of the film's conception, filming, marketing, and...everything.
 * I would say Jaime Lee Curtis, Sigourney Weaver or Michelle Yeoh would better fit the tone of the movies better than any of the modern action girls that rely on Waif Fu or Bullet Time. On that note even Lucy Lawless or Carrie-Anne Moss would fit better as memetic action heroes. Not to be too blunt about it, but the movies are about giving the old guard another round. Statham is the only one still frequently headlining other action movies.
 * Let's face it, Sigourney Weaver and Cynthia Rothrock are probably the only females that would be 100% in place in an eventual sequel...
 * Maybe they should make an all-female spinoff.