Scary Stories to Tell In The Dark (Literature)/Funny

"Woman: Who are you?!
 * One of the lighter stories is called "The Viper." A woman in a high-rise keeps receiving phone calls about a man who calls himself "The Viper" who is slowly coming up the stairs...

The Viper: I am the viper. I vish to vash and vipe the vindows."


 * Despite the grim discovery in the story with the haunted chair, the final sentence describing proper chair behavior always gets a chuckle out of this troper.