Life/Quotes

"Charlie: Ted...is this curry?
 * From "Evil...and His Brother Ziggy", a Crowning Moment of Funny illustrating the Crime-Time Soap aspects of the show:

Ted: You don't like it, is it too spicy?

Charlie: Indian food? [glances at American Indian Capt. Whitehat]

Ted: It was a coincidence, I just grabbed the first menu!

Capt. Whitehat: How long have you two been together?

Charlie: Since we met in prison.

Ted: But we're not...together.

[Rachel sits down and glares at Charlie.]

Capt. Whitehat: This isn't your daughter?

Charlie: No. She's "not" my niece. And there's "not" a boy "not" playing a guitar at the other end of a phone call.

Rachel: That's exactly right, there's not.

Charlie: Look, Rachel, I was worried.

Rachel: No, he was worried [points at Ted], you were gone. I came home, you weren't here; I called, you didn't pick up.

Charlie: I was in the middle of nowhere!

Capt. Whitehat: By that he means my home.

Rachel: You come and go. [storms off]

Ted: I'm in love with Olivia. Charlie, I'm in love with the woman who's going to marry your father. [storms off]

Charlie: White people.

Capt. Whitehat: Pass the vindaloo?"