Professional Wrestling/Funny

Tonight in This Very Ring... You'll laugh so hard, it hurts!

For more funny stuff, see these company and wrestler pages:


 * Bobby Heenan
 * Bryan Danielson
 * Chris Jericho
 * CM Punk
 * D Generation X
 * Edge
 * Kurt Angle
 * Jerry Lawler
 * Jim Cornette
 * John Cena
 * Michael Cole
 * NXT 3
 * Paul Bearer
 * R-Truth
 * Raw
 * The Rock
 * Royal Rumble
 * Santino Marella
 * Scott Steiner
 * Shawn Michaels
 * TNA
 * Triple H
 * The Undertaker
 * WWE

"Delirious: Turbo Grafx 16!
 * The match between The Super Smash Brothers (including Player Uno) and Delirious/Hallowicked's team Incoherence. All of it. Especially because Delirious spends most of the match trading oldschool video game references with Player Uno.

(audience cheers)

Louden Noxious: (on commentary) You got your wish, Mikey. You happy?

Mike Quackenbush: (on commentary) That was a wish that could've gone unfulfilled.

Louden Noxious: Incoherence is really playing some mind games with the Super Smash Brothers...

Player Uno: Nintendo 64!

Louden Noxious: ...getting under their skin, these various--

Delirious: 3D0!

(audience groans)

Player Uno: GET OUT!

Mike Quackenbush: "Get out!" says Player Uno, as does every self-respecting gamer!"

"(audience groans very loudly; the ref stumbles and falls over in shock)
 * But the real crossing-the-line moment came when Delirious took it just a little too far: "Princess Peach is a TRAMP!"

Louden Noxious: We normally have trouble understanding Delirious, but that was loud and clear!

Player Uno: (promptly flipping his shit) YOU DO NOT SAY THAT ABOUT HER! SHE'S THE MOST WONDROUS WOMAN IN THE WORLD!"

"(deep voice) "Bill Goldberg, a bald-headed man with a tattoo. Who has only lost one time, to a fiercer warrior, Mister Kevin Nash!" (normal voice) "That's pretty good, ain't it--how I worked that in there?""
 * Delirious doesn't know the meaning of the word "kayfabe".
 * Damn pause button!
 * The legendary entrance of The Shockmaster in WCW. You gotta give the other wrestlers and the commentators credit for not busting out laughing after seeing it. This didn't stop the commentary from losing it, though, and even the British Bulldog can be clearly heard saying "He fell right on his fucking arse!"
 * You can hear Ric Flair losing it as well, exclaiming "Oh god! Oh my!"
 * Back in ECW, Joey Styles had some pretty funny one-liner reactions to what was going on in the ring. One of the things he would occasionally say (aside from replacing his trademark "OH MY GOD!!!" with "AY DIOS MIO!!!") happened whenever a luchador jumped from the ring so far he landed in one of the first few rows: "And it's Take-Home-A-Luchador night here in the ECW Arena!"
 * (as the crowd breaks out into a chant of "Holy shit!") "My mother's gonna hate me for sayin' this, but...HOLY SHIT!"
 * The poor production values alone added fuel to the fire. Since typical ECW shows didn't have the big screen displays common in WCW and WWF/E, and since a match that starts in the ring isn't guaranteed to stay in the ring, parts of the crowd can end up left in the dark. One match involved two wrestlers brawling out behind the bleachers in one half of the building while fans in the other half chanted, "I CAN'T SEE SHIT! I CAN'T SEE SHIT!"
 * It is hard to choose the funniest moment of the Andy Kaufman-Jerry Lawler feud, but Andy's video tutorial series for the people of Memphis (Lawler's turf) on how to use soap, toilet paper, etc. is definitely up there.
 * "STOP THE CHAIRS! STOP THE CHAIRS! Do not throw chairs into the ring!"
 * The ECW ring collapses.
 * THIS...IS...AWE...SOME. * clap...clap...clapclapclap*
 * On an episode of WCW Thunder, Kevin Nash served as a guest commentator. Botchamania put video of this into its 94th edition...and Nash is much more entertaining as a commentary guy than as a wrestler.

""First of all...Bobby fell like this--(whoosh!). Dennis fell like that--(whoosh!). I fell like this--(BAM!). Bubba's standing there--he never played baseball, I guess; he lost me in the lights, I dunno--what had happened was he's standing there like that and I went completely through his arms. And he looks down like that and when I hit, and my knee bent completely sideways in a matter other than nature intended, it caused me to whiplash back and the back of my head hit his knee, fortunately knocking me temporarily senseless, and serving as a natural anesthetic to the fact that a bone might be sticking out my leg!""
 * Hell, practically anything that makes it on Botchamania qualifies.
 * The Public Enemy had some great ones including a WCW moment I wish I could find online that had the line "You've got Ric Flair flopping around the ring like he's having an epileptic seizure." complete with pantomimed Flair-flops... it was much funnier then it sounds. Then from ECW this classic of the P.E. training Mikey Whipwreck to take on the Sandman.
 * "I can go both ways!.........I DIDN'T MEAN THAT! SHUT UP!"
 * "Hey, what the fuck is that?! Is that a squirrel?!"
 * "How about a Powerbomb, huh? YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! Oh my god...Oh my god, he's a little chubby! No, no, no! NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
 * Also a Moment of Awesome, there was a match in which Kevin Steen puts his opponent in a lock, only for a guy in the audience to chant "Boring! Boring!" The two combatants look up and yell "Who said that!?" They march into the crowd, find the idiot, then point at him and chant "Faggot! Faggot!" as the audience joins them.
 * Colt Cabana hates unprofessionalism. Before a match against Christopher Daniels (a.k.a. the Fallen Angel), the crowd starts chanting for Colt...then Daniels...then back-and-forth cheers for both men. The announcer then declares, "You know who's wrestling, you guys can announce them!" and tries to walk away. Cabana was not amused. (3:50 to 4:17)
 * Now they're just doing it for the sake of doing it. (2:21 to 3:35)
 * "...and you kick your feet up, and there's Big Bubba Rogers and and Dennis Condory and Bobby Eaton, and they'll catch you like they catch the girls at the football games!" The infamous 25 ft. Scaffold Match incident, as told to us by Jim Cornette, which resulted in the Cornette Face meme. "Boys...the University of Alabama Crimson Tide couldn't 'catch me like they catch the girls at the football games.'"

"Quackenbush: This never happens during our matches, Jimmy.
 * Arguably inverted, as this came from the audience and it was the wrestlers who found it funny. The commissioner of the late Stampede Wrestling asked the audience to tone down on the swearing. At the next show, audiences chanted (at moves they thought impressive) "HOLY BEEP! HOLY BEEP! HOLY BEEP!" The wrestlers found it HILARIOUS.
 * While the Majority of CHIKARA could fit this, one moment fits in this troper's head. A large tag team match breaks down into a baseball game.
 * Only made funnier by the fans whole-hearted participation in the whole thing (they do the wave, for crying out loud!), and Jimmy "Equinox" Olsen and Mike Quackenbush's commentary:

Olsen: We're missing out.

(later)

Fan in Crowd: We wanna pit-CHER, not a belly it-CHER!

Crowd (chanting) BELLY ITCHER! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) BELLY ITCHER!

Quackenbush: Ohh, they're gettin' him with the "belly itcher" chant!"

"STEEN: Ever since I have joined forces with Mr. Corino it appears the Ring Of Honor on HDNet commentators, Dave Prazak and "HOG", seem to be hell-bent on talking trash about us!
 * It's CHIKARA, Charlie Brown!
 * "...what?! Nooooo! The Sugar Hill Gang up in this beast!" (aka CHIKARA: The Musical) You wonder how they managed to do this with a straight face.
 * Kevin Steen and Steve Corino provided commentary for one of Steen's ROH matches. While Steen was wrestling in it.

PRAZAK: Not me!

STEEN: I don't think that's very fair, so you know what? Prazak, Hog, you guys have the night off, well at least you have this match off, go grab a hot dog, grab a beer, grab each other's genitals, whatever you do...

PRAZAK: I'll grab the beer.

[...]

[After Corino starts talking to Steen's opponent, Bobby Shields, and Steen sneaks up behind him and knocks him down]

STEEN: [as he hits him] BOOM! Can't believe that worked!

[...]

CORINO: I used to beat kids like this up in school every week!

STEEN: Speaking of school beatings, I perfected this very move during my grade school beatings, check it out!

[Steen comes off the ropes, and then stops]

STEEN: [handing the mic to referee Bryce Remsburg] Oh wait, hold this.

[Somersaults and drops a leg on Shields]

CORINO: Ohhhh, ladies and gentlemen--!!!

STEEN: [taking the mic back] Oh my god--!!

CORINO: That--

STEEN: TREMENDOUS move!

CORINO: That was orgasmic maybe.

STEEN: [going for the cover] Steen goes for the cover!

[Covers, only gets two]

STEEN: Bad call by the referee, horrible call!

[...]

[After Shields catches Steen off-guard and gets in some token offense, Steen comes back and stops him with a powerbomb]

CORINO: OHHHH! SLAP THE PORKYPINE, HE'S DONE!

STEEN: [retrieving the mic and glaring down at Shields] That hurt, you asshole!"

"El Generico: Kenny Omega! Chuck Taylor!
 * Colt Cabana's just going to slap you.
 * From ROH Death Before Dishonor IV: When Homicide made his entrance and became the final member of the ROH team, CZW fans erupted in a "SIX ON FIVE!" chant (Samoa Joe and Bryan Danielson were in the match, but Dragon chopblocked Joe right out of it and left himself). The ROH side immediately snapped back with "YOU CAN'T COUNT!"
 * From Bash At The Beach 1998: Chavo Guerrero has a hair vs. hair match with his uncle Eddie, and decides before the match he'll wrestle Stevie Ray as a tune-up. Keep in mind Stevie is about twice as big as Chavo. Eddie Guerrero comes down after both Stevie Ray and Chavo have come out, which prompts Chavo to grab a mic and dedicate the match to Eddie. After some goofing off by Chavo, he offers a handshake to Stevie. Stevie accepts......only for Chavo to YELL out in pain, collapse to his knees, and immediately tap out. Bell rings, Stevie wins via submission, and after a couple moments, Chavo grabs the mic and says, "EDDIE! That was for you Eddie! I'm so tired.......I'm exhausted! I guess we're wrestling now, right?" Chavo's performance was hilarious, and even though he lost against Eddie, his reveal that the "tune-up" was a Batman Gambit SOLELY to get under Eddie's skin (it worked) can also qualify this as a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
 * This promo featuring Paul London and Bryan Danielson, where London starts talking about dolphins and their pods...and about a minute in, Danielson abandons the notion of trying not to laugh.
 * From CHIKARA, we have what one YouTube commenter says is the "new most electrifying move in sports entertainment": the Pants on the Ground Elbow.
 * El Generico's promos suck! So says Colt Cabana, who tries to help him cut better ones.

Colt Cabana: Good...

El Generico: El Generico numero uno!

Colt Cabana: Ah, geez--

El Generico: Kenny Omega, no bueno!

Colt Cabana: No. Ready...say what I say...(whispers to El Generico)

El Generico: Kenny Omega y Chuck Taylor...(Colt whispers to him again) I want...I-I want to piss in your boots! (more whispering) ...and your ears! (more whispering) I EAT CHILDREN!

Colt Cabana: No! (whispers) I eat your children!

El Generico: Que no comprendo "eat children"..."

""I hear babies come from Mommy but you like green so much you came from a cabbage""
 * Colt Cabana corpsing? Send for the man!
 * Booker T unintentionally calling Hulk Hogan "nigga".
 * Apparently Hogan was a "good n-word"!
 * This troper remembers one night on Nitro where Tony Shiavone had warned kids watching at home not to emulate any wrestling moves in their backyard, to which Bobby Heenan quips "Do it in your living room, it's more fun!"
 * We SHIMMER fans know that only women are real wrestlers, but we occasionally let the men do a pre-show comedy match. Here's the Come As You Are Rumble. Highlights include:
 * Delirious emerging from under the ring with a Star Wars-themed pillow and Looney Tunes blanket (apparently Delirious was sleeping under the ring), with the pillow and blanket involved in several spots during the match
 * Claudio Castagnoli coming out in a bright white suit, taking the pillow and blanket and taking a nap in the middle of the ring
 * Austin Aries emerging from the back with toilet paper stuck to his shoe (and after his very hasty elimination, runs right back to the bathroom)
 * Every other participant turning on Brad Bradley, the largest competitor, and in the process managing a Total Party Kill.
 * From Volume 40, the crowd chants at Portia Perez "die, Portia, die".
 * LuFisto invokes Not Listening to Me, Are You? to get a title match with MsChif:


 * More Paul London: take his advice and do NOT step on the bee/wasp/hermit crab/balloon animal!!!
 * WCW: Similar to DX's parodies, here's MIA's imitation of Team Canada, TOUGH GUY.
 * Ladies and gentlemen, the most illegal move in all of professional wrestling.
 * Claudio Castagnoli versus the ring steps. He goes to walk up the steps. The steps slide out from underneath him. European Uppercuts ensue.
 * It's happened more than once.
 * Bryce Remsburg the dancing referee.
 * More dancing Bryce, guest starring Allison Danger.
 * Christopher Daniels meets Delirious.
 * Steve Corino has a story about working a show with The Iron Sheik that has to be heard to be believed.
 * Kevin Steen as a judge? Why not.
 * Taking a page from Claudio Castagnoli's book, Steen battles an ROH sign.
 * Don't offer Steen a hot dog. Just don't.
 * "Hey hey hey! That looks like fun!"
 * Steen helps Colt Cabana practice French.
 * Steen's a good kisser!
 * This Irish indie match between Justin Shape and Philly The Kid. Try to count the amount of famous WWE finishers that get teased.
 * Whatever you do, do NOT give Mad Man Pondo a stun gun.
 * C-H-I-K-A-R-A spells Rasslin'!
 * After Sid noshowed Pro Wrestling Syndicate's Super Card '12, Jay Lethal took his place against Matt Hardy in a rather interesting fashion.
 * With Triple H and The Undertaker scheduled to face one another at Wrestlemania XXVIII, John Morrison made this video.
 * March 25th, 2012: In the course of a single match for CHIKARA, Chuck Taylor and Archibald Peck managed to rack up four CMOFs.
 * All Archie wanted was a hug...
 * Archie 3:16 says I just stomped your gut!
 * Archie's first springboard!
 * "Take the picture!", guest starring Icarus.