Billy Madison/Funny

""Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
 * This:

Billy: ...okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine..."

"Billy (after Ms. Lippy finishes the story): Whoa whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy. The only part of the story I didn't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after only an hour. He didn't put up posters or anything. He just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's got to think; you've got a pet. You've got a responsibility. When your puppy is lost, you don't just look for an hour and then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!
 * Billy's reaction to "The Puppy Who Lost His Way".

Ms. Lippy (dumbstruck): I... think it's time to play dodgeball."

"Billy: That's not fair; Rizzuto isn't a word, he's a baseball player! You're cheating!"
 * All while the kids are sleeping.
 * The cursive writing scene. Billy writes a couple of words and thinks he's pretty hot shit compared to the (other) kids in his class, but then he is tasked in writing a words with "z"s in it. His suffering as he attempts to improvize/recollect what a z looks like in cursive looks pretty real.

"Billy: I hate cursive and I hate all of you! I'm never coming back to school, NEVER!!"
 * And then:

"Billy: Now you're all in really big trouble."
 * From the Deleted Scenes: "I'm Horny!"
 * The ending where everyone, even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, and the not so imaginary penguin all start kissing each other.
 * The dodgeball scene.