IKEA Erotica/Playing With

Basic Trope: Dull erotica.
 * Straight: The sex scene between Alice and Bob is described as, "He put his hard sex in her soft sex and they had sex," and that's it.
 * Exaggerated: All sex scenes are described this way.
 * Justified: The writers didn't want to include a sex scene, but got overruled.
 * Inverted: Mills and Boon Prose
 * Subverted: A Sexy Discretion Shot is used.
 * Double Subverted: Another sex scene happens, which is described this way.
 * Parodied: Alice and Bob are literally shown assembling an IKEA product, and have orgasmic reactions.
 * The blandness is taken to ridiculous extremes and their dirty talk becomes Beige Prose, 'move your body against me faster' and 'I am feeling highly aroused'.
 * Deconstructed: The dry description of the sex scene is actually what's going on in Alice's mind. She finds the act so dull and emotionally uninvolving that it amounts to nothing more than the physical action of "in, out, repeat."
 * Reconstructed: The dryness of the scene is an alien and/or robot describing to Alice what it thinks sex is like for humans. Then Alice talks to the alien so that it can understand the importance and emotional impact of sex to humans, and the alien learns more about humanity in a touching moment.
 * Zig Zagged: The description is so bland they might be putting furniture together. And they are putting furniture together. Because their fetish is furniture assembly. But they're both incredibly bored with it and it's mechanical to them.
 * Averted: The sex scene is described reasonably and in detail.
 * Enforced: "We're running out of ways to appeal to the Lowest Common Denominator. Let's put in a sex scene and describe it as, 'They had sex'."
 * Lampshaded: "What's with all the erotica which is written as 'They had sex'?"
 * Invoked: The writer wants to show that Alice and Bob find the sex incredibly boring and passionless.
 * Exploited: ???
 * Defied: Alice stops, says that she doesn't want the sex to be bland and boring, and puts on soft music and mood lighting.
 * Discussed: ???
 * Conversed: ???

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