Primeval/Funny

"Claudia: "What are you doing?"
 * In a season 1 episode, Cutter is examining Claudia after she was attacked by the Monster of the Week.

Cutter: "I have no idea. I've just seen it on E.R.""

"Helen: "I take it you enjoyed that."
 * The dodo chase in 1x04.
 * Claudia in the final episode of season 1, who closes out a conversation with Nick by bringing up a kiss they shared. She tells him that sexual harassment is frowned upon in the civil service and saunters out with a very faint smirk on her face. The shock on his face is priceless.
 * From the same episode, when the two kiss (right in front of Helen) before Nick enters the Permian. As Helen and Nick walk toward their destination...

Nick: *grinning like an idiot* "Yep."

Helen: "I suppose the object of the exercise was to punish me somehow."

Nick: *STILL grinning like an idiot* "Actually it wasn't about you at all.""

"Nick: "WATCH!!!! Where...you're swingin' that thing!""
 * Nick also gets another funny moment when he says "If I don't come back, push Lester through the worst anomaly you can find," before entering the Permian anomaly.
 * Season 2, episode 2. A giant worm grabs Jennifer, and Cutter grabs a katana off a decorative mount in the hall to kill it with. Immediately afterward, another worm grabs Nick by the thigh. Jennifer grabs the sword and decapitates the worm, missing Nick's groin by about four inches. Nick responds the way any man would.

"Lester: Oh, and if I ever find you socks in the bread maker again, you're fired.
 * Lester at the end of season 2, when he asks Leek, who is holding Cutter hostage, to hurry up because the snooker is on the other channel.
 * Lester "being Jess" in Season 4, episode 5 where we basically learn he has no business being in front of a computer.
 * Any scene that has Lester and Connor in it. Go on, pick any one. It's bound to be hilarious.

Connor: I was keeping 'em warm..."

"Lester: *on the phone in a traffic jam* Yes I've got an anomaly for you Jess. One of the greatest anomalies known to the western world. Why they call them roadworks...*winds down window and yells at builders who are mostly brewing tea* WHEN THERE'S NEVER ANY WORK GOING ON!"
 * For that matter, any scene with Connor or Lester works as well.
 * The very beginning of series 5.

"Jess: You're mean.
 * Lester's reaction to finding out the knighthood he was hoping for was always going to Phillip. He repeats "Good, good, good, very good..." over and over as he calmly walks into his office and the door slowly swings shut. We then have a moment of silence, followed by a muffled scream of rage.
 * Season 5, episode 4. Jess is having an allergic reaction and Becker is trying to make her take some water.

Becker: Yes, I know, I'm very mean. Drink this.

Jess: I hate you.

Becker: No, you don't.

Jess: I'm sorry. You're nice really. You've got nice...hair..."

"Becker: What the hell! I gave you a direct order.
 * It's Ben Mansfield's expression that sells it, really...
 * Becker and Jess have another crowning moment of funny when Becker and Jess tells him to "Be careful, and keep warm." Again, Ben Mansfield's expression is what makes it perfect.
 * Also from 5x04, Becker ordered Emily to leave the building with the "other nonessential staff" when there's an incursion in the ARC. Emily, being Emily, ignores him and shows up later.

Emily: I know. I just thought you were wrong."

"Becker: She disobeyed a direct order.
 * It leads to another when Becker basically complains to Matt about it:

Matt: Yeah? Get used to it."

"Matt: So what are we lookin' at here, fifty/fifty?
 * Again from 5x04, Matt and Connor discuss Connor's plan to and exactly how likely it is that they'll survive...

Connor: *silence*

Matt: Sixty/forty? I could live with those odds.

Connor: Let's just say it's...better than winning the jackpot in the National Lottery.

Matt: ...That's like ten million to one.

Connor: Yeah. I did say "better than"

Matt: Well, if you're not in it, you can't win it."

"(on the team) You will be dealing with a highly strung and temperamental team of rank amateurs who just happen to be brilliant at what they do.
 * The entirety of Becker's introduction in 3x01. There's the quote that's on the main page header, and Lester's summation of the ARC team and Cutter in particular:

(on Cutter) Oh, and by the way, Professor Cutter won't like you, and he'll go out of the way to make your job as difficult as possible. Try not to take it personally."

"Becker: Well, I have extensive experience in dinosaur hunting, sir. I assumed that was why I was picked for the job.
 * Lester and Becker's dueling Deadpan Snarker personalities is what sells it.

Lester: (a bit later) And in future, I'll do the jokes."