Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs (Disney)/WMG

To start things off, here is some Wild Mass Guessing from George Carlin (derived from his album "Toledo Window Box").
"The seven dwarves were each on different [drugs]. Happy was into grass and grass alone--just occasionally some hash, make a little holiday for him. 'Hey, man! * puff* Hey, thanks, man! * puff* Hey, down here, man! Pop!' Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds; Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was the connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey: he's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then the one we always forget because he was...Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs, he was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder."

Snow White is a self-insert of the eleven-year-old Sansa Stark from A Song of Ice and Fire.
Songs and being a proper, pretty little lady are the secrets of life. Dwarfs are to be laughed at as they're not pretty. The prince is a perfect match for no other reason than that he is pretty. No one would dare harm the princess, not even the Queen's huntsman. And everywhere you look in the movie, there's a little bird.

The entire movie was a hallucination from the Disney Acid Sequence in the forest onward.
She disliked her stepmother, who was strict but not malevolent, ran away, and got lost in the forest. She either tripped and bashed her head open while running, or got hungry and decided to eat the pretty mushrooms for dinner.

The dwarfs, the huntsman, and the scenes with the shapeshifting evil queen are all part of her brain-addled nightmares. Everything involving the dwarfs huntsman, or the evil queen holding the apple like some sort of red lantern. The animators wanted the movie to be really trippy, or really Anvilicious, but the executives limited them to what the movie ended up as.

The poisoned apple was a belladonna fruit.
The queen painted a "green" apple with red poison. Snow White confused it for a tomato, or love-apple, which was just becoming popular as the plants brought back from the new world were deemed to be not poisonous. Or maybe for a real apple.

Snow White actually died from the poison apple.
The prince was the/an Angel of Death in the form of the guy on whom she was crushing, and took her to a castle in the afterlife. It's possible she may not even realize she's dead, and as far as she knows she really is living happily ever after.
 * Also, a scene was cut with the Queen attempting to drown the Prince because animation was not yet advanced enough to do a scene like that. Perhaps he never really made it out alive.
 * The "prince" may have been the/an Angel of Death all along. The reason he was at the castle earlier in the film was because he knew Snow's time was almost up and he wanted her to trust him when the time came.
 * It makes perfect sense, since at the end of the movie Snow White and the prince appeared to be approaching a castle in the sky.. as a kid this troper always wondered whether that castle was real or not.

The Skeleton in the Queen's castle is the King.
Just an idea that popped into my head just now. I don't recall any word of the King being mentioned in the movie (the myth is not necessarily this setup). The Queen is clearly mad and very vain. If she was not lined up for the throne by birth, then she probably wooed the King and then once she secured her place and control of the land, quietly hid him away in some deep part of the castle and fooled her people into thinking the King was just reclusive and eventually passed on. Whether she was born a princess or married into the royal family, I assume that by the time she had ensured that the Kingdom would be under her control whether or not the King was around she had already given birth to the King's daughter or otherwise the girl was the daughter of the late Queen (the current one either killed her or was lucky enough to find a King who desired a new wife to help cope with his loss and give his daughter a mother). At that time, she had no personal grievance with Snow White so she let her live in the castle.
 * At least one of the skeletons was planned to be an unfortunate Prince the Queen had taken into captivity before.

They aren't making sequels of it because it's the first Disney movie
This troper would like a sequel for it though, since they redeemed Cinderella to him and Snow White is one of his lesser liked Disney characters.
 * Apparently, there were plans to make a sequel at some point, but the company realized how controversial that would be.

... However, if they did make a sequel, it wouldn't be canon.
Duh.

Snow White's title of fairest of them all is referring to her inner beauty
Snow White sings like Edith Bunker is flat as a boat, dresses like she just came out of a primary color convention, and uses clown paint for makeup. But she never holds a grudge against a soul, not even when people repeatedly try to kill her. She is the embodiment of forgiveness and sympathy, even to creatures that look like the boogeyman's grandmother. That is why the Queen isn't the fairest, because she can't compete with that through looks alone. On the other hand... see below.

The queen really is the fairst of them all
The mirror just gets sick of her fishing for compliments every day that he decided to just fuck with her one day. Best move of his life.
 * She crosses her arms way to much.

There is a minimum age requirement to be judged "Fairest"
If Snow White was the fairest in the land, how come the all-knowing Mirror didn't notice until that day when he finally does? Answer 2? Age requirement. Snow White hit a certain time in her life where she could be eligible as being fair. um in the movie she's 14 (Walt wanted her to be 10-11..but the animators disagreed and in the Grimm Brother's second Edition of Snow White..she's SEVEN!!)

Snow White's hut in the Disney movie is part of The Village

 * As this video shows, the dwarfs' mine is just a short walk away from a 1940s Canadian city. Obviously the dwarfs pay off the guardian monsters with jewels and war bonds, making trips into town for supplies in order to keep Snow White oblivious to modern society.

Snow White is thirteen years old

 * Look at it this way; she's flat-chested (thirteen-year-old girls aren't fully developed), childishly sweet and innocent, despite looking reasonably mature (thirteen is at that awkward point between child and adult), and spends much of the movie pining after (a) an imaginary man or (b) a man she met once (I've met many boy-crazy thirteen-year-old girls).
 * To avoid Squicking anyone out, the prince is probably under eighteen, too.
 * In actuality, she's 14.

The Seven Dwarves are the same as the seven dwarven ring-bearers from The Lord of the Rings

 * And by this hypothesis, Snow White is either the same as the lady Galadriel, or perhaps only a relative (mother, sister, aunt, who knows?).
 * With that hair, she might be Melian, Luthien, or Arwen (Galadriel's granddaughter) - but not Galadriel (who is very blonde).

The skeleton in the dungeon scene was actually the Huntsman
Self-explanatory.
 * Jossed due to how long it would take for a body to decompose. Unless the Queen had spells that can instantly make a body into a skeleton, it's impossible for the Huntsman to be killed and decompose in a matter of days.
 * The Queen may have had him killed (which she threaten with should he fail her) since he outlived his usefulness.
 * Considering the Queen goes right into the poisoned apple scheme the second she realized she was tricked, there was no time for her to punish the Huntsman, since she dies soon afterwards.

The Magic Mirror is what's left of the King, bewitched by the Queen and forced to give her the attention he formerly gave to his daughter.

 * Perhaps the death of the Queen either freed him from the mirror or was able to rest in peace. If the latter, not before seeing his daughter one last time.

The Magic Mirror is a demon manipulating the Queen.
Beauty is subjective; it just comes up with whatever person for the Queen to kill who may seem to fit the criteria and will cause the most evil in the world. Perhaps, originally, when the Queen obtained it, it gave small tidbits of information at first; before latching onto her obsession with beauty and steering her down The Dark Side.
 * Should one ever destroy the mirror, this doesn't kill the original demon; just the communication device its using.

The Seven Dwarfs are the seven deadly sins.
An issue of Marvel's Not Brand Ecch mocked this with the dwarfs carved in rock:
 * Pride=Doc (has glasses)
 * Envy=Dopey (no beard)
 * Greed=Happy
 * Wrath ("Hatred")=Grumpy, natch
 * Gluttony ("Selfishness")=Bashful
 * Sloth ("Laziness")=Sleepy, natch
 * Lust (Censored)=Sneezy