Mad Scientist/Quotes

""Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?" "

- Maxim 14, The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries, Schlock Mercenary

""Now becomes the the past in an instant -- and everyone will eventually die! Destiny triumphs over human knowledge and goes mad! That is the way of things! I spit upon this frail, crazed, world! I spit upon the Second Law of Thermodynamics!""

- Professor Desty Nova, Battle Angel Alita (aka Gunnm in Japan).

""You're all a bunch of hippies, what with your 'loafer walking' and your touchy-feeliness! What good is science if no one gets hurt?!?!""

- Professor Chromedome, The Tick.

""'Blasphemy?' Before what, 'God?' A God repulsed by the miserable humanity he created in his own image? I will not be shackled by the failures of your God. The only 'blasphemy' is to wallow in insignificance! I have taken the refuse of your God's failures, and I have triumphed!""

- Herbert West, Bride of Re-Animator.

""The man who believes that the secrets of the world are forever hidden lives in mystery and fear. Superstition will drag him down. The rain will erode the deeds of his life. But that man who sets himself the task of singling out the thread of order from the tapestry will by the decision alone have taken charge of the world and it is only by such taking charge that he will effect a way to dictate the terms of his own fate.""

- Judge Holden, Blood Meridian

""I know you're desperate, I really sympathize

I see the morbid horror flicker in your eyes

But rest assured I'm gonna help to ease your pain

I'm gonna put a thousand tiny implants in your brain""

- Motorhead', "I'm the Doctor"

""Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence- whether much that is glorious- whether all that is profound- does not spring from disease of thought - from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect.""

- Edgar Allan Poe, Eleonora

""It worked! Hahahahaha! And they laughed at me back at university. Maybe it's because of the tutu...""

- The Timekeeper

""When it came to getting weird things done, sane beat mad hands down.""

- Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

""Everyone's always in favor of saving Hitler's brain, but when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooooh, suddenly you've gone too far!""

- Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth, Futurama

"''"My Moon-based Death Ray

Panics the people of Earth.

Mock my theories now!"''"

- Andrew G. McCann, "Angry Scientist"

""I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There's a difference.""

- Dr. Cockroach, Monsters vs. Aliens

""[Milo] always did prefer mad science of academia.""

- Jen, Chronillogical

""We hold life to be sacred, but we also know the foundation of life consists in a stream of codes not so different from the successive frames of a watchvid. Why then cannot we cut one code short here, and start another there? Is life so fragile that it can withstand no tampering? Does the sacred brook no improvement?""

- Chairman Sheng-ji Yang, Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri

""The point is, with the right amount of genius and a touch of perceived insanity, science can conquer anything.""

- Brainiac 5, Legion of Three Worlds "#4"

""Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can.""

- GlaDOS, Portal

"''"Oh God, Lem, you're using science for no good. We took an oath we would try to do that less.

I'm a scientist Lem, I've been a threat to humanity, the environment, even Jupiter once. But never to a hot girl's boyfriend."''"

- Phil, Better Off Ted

""There is no way in which the fully realised sentience of a machine could not be of benefit to us. As it is, the Machine Spirit is revered, yet in permanent bondage, its full potential shackled by petty fears. I seek to terminate this state of affairs.""

- Unknown Adeptus Mechanicus tech-priest, Warhammer 40000

""Isn't it worth the loss of a hand to have created the man of the future, the MACHINE-MAN?!""

- Rotwang, on his evil robot wife

"Professor Ivo: You must be that "mad scientist" we're always hearing about...

T.O. Morrow: I'll have you know I studied mad science at Harvard, you oaf!

Both: Ha ha ha ha ha!"

- JLA "#5"

""When I get the vibe, it's like there's a party in my toolbox and Science is invited!""

- Tigerlily Jones, Skin Horse

""They called me crazy, insane, mad. Uwahahaaa! Well. I'll show them.""

- Dr. Wily

""Really, why in the hell would you even get into mad science if you're not going to Take Over the World? Honestly, people, the sooner you realize that all scientists are evil and have them all killed, the safer you'll be, really.""

- Dr. Insano

""Yes Meredith, I've sent an elephant to hell. Science stuff, you wouldn't understand.""

- Dr. Z, Bino the Elephant

""I remember those nights, planning technologies that didn't exist yet, outsider science, futurist dreaming, half-magical. The things I could do outside the university setting, now that I didn't have to wait for the pompous fools at the college! I was building another science, my science, wild science, robots and lasers and disembodied brains. A science that buzzed and glowed; it wanted to do things. It could get up and walk, fly, fight, sprout garish glowing creations in the remotest parts of the world, domes and towers and architectural fever dreams. And it was angry. It was mad science.""

- Doctor Impossible, Soon I Will Be Invincible

""Letting loose with a scream in the dead of night

As he's breaking new ground

Trying his best to unlock all the secrets

But he's not sure what he's found

[...]

Whoa, now, it's off to work he goes

In the name of science and all its wonders

[...]

Not long now till the ultimate experiment

He's breaking all the rules

He wants to cure all matter of imbalance

In this world of fools.""

- Men At Work, "Dr. Heckyll & Mr. Jive"

""Just a heads up: we're gonna have a superconductor turned up full blast and pointed at you for the duration of this next test. I'll be honest, we're throwing Science at the wall here to see what sticks. No idea what it'll do. Probably nothing. Best-case scenario, you might get some superpowers. Worst case, some tumors, which we'll cut out.""

- Cave Johnson, Aperture Science CEO, Portal 2

""If you want a new problem, ask a salarian.""

- Commander Shepard, Mass Effect

"Mad science means never stopping to ask "What's the worst that could happen?""

- Schlock Mercenary, The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

"Peter Bishop: Walter, what are you doing?

Dr. Walter Bishop: Dosing a caterpillar.

Peter Bishop: Dosing? As in LSD?

Dr. Walter Bishop:Well, it's a special blend.

Peter Bishop: Hey guess what just happened?

Dr. Walter Bishop: Huh?

Peter Bishop: Finding out that my father is giving drugs to bugs just became a typical moment in my life.

Dr. Walter Bishop: It's wonderful, isn't it?"

- Fringe

"Heavy: "Doctor, are you sure this will work?"

Medic: "I have no idea!"

- Meet the Medic, Team Fortress 2

""I am Kang, The Mad. I make things fly, and I make things explode. The things I fly tend to survive. The things I explode... not so much.""

- Kang the Mad, Jade Empire

""So once I hit on the idea of working from the base monster template it was a simple process to generate an organism fully capable of fixing my printer.""

- Bob the Angry Flower

"Agatha: He didn't catch me. And he isn't going to. I came here on my own.

Moloch: What? But that's insane!

(beat)

Moloch: Wow. Maybe you are the real thing.

--Girl Genius, Moloch von Zinzer starts to get it.

No! Are you crazy?! Oh, wait! Of course you are!"

- Girl Genius, Moloch von Zinzer finally gets it.

""Mad? Is one who has solved the secret of life to be considered mad?""

- Dr. Von Niemann, The Vampire Bat