F.E.A.R./Funny

Dark humor abounds in the F.E.A.R. series.

"Holiday: (disarming explosives) Man, whoever rigged this was a pro.
 * In the first game, some of the commentary from the Delta operators, particularly Holiday, is hilarious.

Bishop: Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Holiday: He may be a pro, but I'm the master."

"Betters: Miss Wade, those soldiers are after you, and if they catch you, their methods will be very unpleasant.
 * Betters has plenty of commentary to add over the course of the mission, like when dealing with Alice Wade:

Alice Wade: Yeah, well, you said I would be safe on a helicopter.

Betters: Stubborn bitch, isn't she?"

"Jin: Thank God you're alright!
 * Later, when Jin and the Point Man meet back up:

Betters: You two can make out later, now get on the chopper!"

"Alice: You don't have to kill everybody!"
 * Alice freaking out if the Point Man decides to leave the elevator to take the fight to the Replica.


 * Really, the entire escort sequence. Between the oddly cheery music in the elevator to Alice's increasingly horrified reactions to the Point Man getting his Blood Knight on, its one of the most hilarious moments in the game.

"Griffin: What kept you?
 * In Project Origin, Jankowski's reactions if you screw around in the plaza.

Jankowski: Bucket had to take a bath in the fountain."

"Stokes: Who the hell are you?
 * Everything about Snake Fist.

Snake Fist: You can call me...Snake Fist.

Stokes: (incredulous) ...are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Snake Fist: Alma covets you. She's a....coveter. You're like free pizza at an anime convention. She can smell you. And she wants to consume you."
 * Later on:

"Jankowski: A lot of blood. Looks like he got hit in the aorta.
 * Keegan and Jankowski get sadly little banter, but what is there is hilarious.

Keegan: The aorta? Maybe he got hit in the femoral, or subclavian?

Jankowski: Dude, making fun of someone's intelligence is a sign of immaturity."

"Jankowski: Keegan, you okay?
 * A few moments later, after the first encounter with an Armacham goon:

Keegan: I think they hit my aorta!

Jankowski: Dude, give it a rest."

"Mmmm! Those bullets taste like chicken, don't they?"
 * Manny's commentary during the Hold the Line segment at the end:


 * In the hospital, a group of Armacham goons have stopped Beckett's elevator. They cut the elevator line, and the mercenaries start joking about how killing him was too easy. Cue Beckett, who slipped out of the elevator through a nearby vent, coming through the door right behind them....

"If this is your plan, I'd say things are going...swimmingly! (Evil Laugh)"
 * FEAR 3 is a little less humorous, but Fettel gets a painfully hilarious pun in at the end of Interval Six, when the Point Man gets dropped off a bridge into the river.


 * The Phase Commander threatening to dismember his own men if they retreat is one of the most darkly humorous moments in the entire series.
 * There are nail guns in all of the games, and they can be used to provide hilarious results by pinning your enemies head down on the ceiling, or nailing their limbs to a painting on the wall.