Firefly/Recap/E09 Ariel

In a desperate attempt to get a brainscan for River so that he can see what was done to her at the Academy, Simon persuades the crew to help smuggle him and River into a highly guarded hospital on the planet of Ariel. Jayne, who at the start of the episode got his chest slashed by River in a quite infamous Ax Crazy moment, is assigned to protect Simon and River during their infiltration while Mal and the others disguise themselves as EMTs and make off with the goods. The infiltration involves Simon and River having to fake their deaths in order to get in, since they are still very much wanted fugitives. While Simon and River are unconscious, Jayne, who has had issues with Simon and River pretty much from the moment they first came on board Serenity even before he got slashed up by River, spies a terminal during the episode with a reward posted for Simon and River and decides to contact the Feds in order to turn them in for the reward money. When Jayne returns, River rises like a zombie and says "Copper for a kiss?" which thoroughly spooks out Jayne. Simon's awakening is a little more violent, which is soon evidenced by River vomiting offscreen.

During the infiltration, Simon gets his first Crowning Moment of Awesome when River alerts him to a patient who is being treated incompetently and is about to die, and Simon, who is posing as a doctor that is not on the Most Wanted List, steps in and takes over the operation, saving the man's life and then chewing out the doctor responsible for the incompetent treatment. When the three of them find the room with the holo-imager, both Simon and Jayne learn a bit of what was done to River at the Academy, including having her amygdala stripped bare to remove her ability to block out anything she feels. Simon is horrified at this revelation, and Jayne shows a few signs that maybe turning them in wasn't such a great idea. Jayne leads the two away toward a rear entrance, citing a change of plans, and as Jayne and Simon start arguing, River screams and starts babbling. Then the Feds show up.

Along with Simon and River, Agent McGinnis, the Fed in charge of the case, also arrests Jayne for aiding and abetting the two fugitives, intending to keep the reward money for himself instead of giving it to Jayne as he promised. As Jayne learns that McGinnis has betrayed him in turn, he tries to fight his way out but is subdued when the Feds use stun rifles on him. At the holding facility, Simon shows an incredible amount of balls when he demands to know what will happen to him and River and tells him he is not moving until McGinnis answers his very simple question, or he shoots him. McGinnis takes the three of them to a holding cell. Meanwhile, Mal and the others twig to the fact that the Feds have arrived when Kaylee and Wash intercept coded communications, and Mal and Zoe set out to rescue the other three members of the crew.

Jayne, who is mad as hell about McGinnis's betrayal and feeling a bit of remorse for having betrayed Simon and River, decides to get the two out of there, snapping one guard's neck while still handcuffed and giving Simon the opening to take out the second Fed in the room. But things get even worse when the Blue Hands of the Academy come calling for River. The Feds who Simon talked to, including McGinnis, die a horrific death for having come in contact with River by activating a device that makes them all bleed from the eyes and other orifices before dying. As River feels the Blue Hands approach, she starts running, and Simon and Jayne follow. The Blue Hands track the three, killing the Fed that Simon choked out with the same eerie device that killed the other Feds. Jayne quickly hustles Simon and River to a back exit, but can't get the door open with the stolen Fed stun rifle. The three are saved from the Blue Hands when Mal blows open the exit door with a shotgun.

The crew make their escape from Ariel, but things are not done, as Mal quickly twigs to the fact that Jayne was the reason the Feds were even at the hospital and knocks Jayne out with a wrench. Jayne wakes up in the cargo bay airlock of Serenity as the ship is taking off and a confrontation between him and Mal ensues, in which Mal is in full-on Papa Wolf mode and vehemently asserts that "you turn on any of my crew, you turn on me!." The only thing that saves Jayne from being Thrown Out the Airlock is when he urges Mal to "make something up" and not tell the rest of the crew what he did. Mal lets Jayne off with a deadly warning: "The next time you decide to stab me in the back, have the guts to do it to my face."

This is a good episode and one in which Simon gets to shine. So naturally it is attractive to Simon Tam fans. It has a number of Crowning Moments Of Awesome and more than one Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.

Tropes include:
 * Badass Bookworm: Simon is very much this here
 * Bavarian Fire Drill: Justified in that Simon does know what he's doing.
 * Brick Joke: The part that Wash picks up and immediately flings away is the same as the part Mal used to fix the engine in Out Of Gas.
 * Brother-Sister Team: Simon and River
 * The Caper: Obviously
 * Death Glare : Simon to McGinnis.
 * Distressed Damsel : River. That is the main point of the mission as far as Simon is concerned.
 * Drill Sergeant Nasty : Simon. Yes, SIMON. When he was dressing down the incompetent doctor. Of course, he was a more genteel Drill Sergeant Nasty, but no less scary under the circumstances.
 * "Your patient should be dead..."
 * Dr. Jerk: Mal and Zoe meet one of these while rifling medicine.
 * Dudley Do-Right Stops to Help: Simon, mostly at River's persistance.
 * Easily Forgiven: Jayne. Considering...
 * I wouldn't necessarily say he was easily forgiven...
 * Under the circumstances pretty easily. With no law to appeal to, many leaders of a smuggling ship would have felt that really throwing Jayne out the airlock was the only alternative.
 * Face Heel Turn: Jayne's betrayal of River and Simon to the Alliance
 * Faking the Dead: That is how Simon and River get in
 * Faceless Goons: The Hands of Blue
 * Foot Focus: Joss Whedon made sure River's bare feet were in full view while she and Simon are smuggled into the hospital. Bonus points for Summer Glau keeping her feet pointed like a ballerina the whole time.
 * Hospital Paradiso : St. Lucy's. Which provides Mei-Mei the latest medical technology overseen by best medical practitioner on the Most Wanted List. With little paperwork necessary.
 * I Owe You My Life: While River is trying to point out the dying patient, Simon tries to reassure her of the competence of the Hospital Paradiso. River interrupts and says, "where you should be...".
 * It's Personal: "You turn on any of my crew, you turn on me..."
 * Jumped At the Call: When River points out that an incompetently treated patient is going to die, Simon rushes over to him, saves his life, chews out the doctor and then runs back to River to continue the caper.
 * Kick the Dog: The Alliance rather kicked the dog to death what with killing their own mooks, betraying Jayne's betrayal, and worst of all the image of how they tore River's amygdala out.
 * Lethal Diagnosis: And Simon points this out to an incompetent doctor.
 * Let's Get Dangerous: Simon throttles a guard with his knee while still wearing handcuffs.
 * Licking the Blade: Jayne does this in the beginning of the episode... who knew something so unhygienic could look so damn sexy.
 * Live Action Escort Mission : Escorting River, in and out.
 * MacGuffin Location: The room with the 3D imager.
 * My Big Brother is a Really Cool Doctor: In a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming just after the famous CMoA, River gives a sweet grin to Jayne after Simon saves a patient as a by-the-way and then stops to give his Drill Sergeant Nasty. You can just hear her saying "THAT's my big brother."
 * Neck Snap: When Jayne decides to help get himself and Simon and River out of there, he kills one of the guards this way.
 * Nerves of Steel: Simon.
 * Out-of-Genre Experience: Provides the page image. Switches to a Medical Drama for about 1.25 minutes.
 * Plunder: "How much did we get?" "Enough to keep us flying."
 * Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Jayne's reward for betraying the Tams was to get betrayed and arrested in turn because the chief Fed wanted to keep the reward money for himself.
 * Karmic Death: The Fed would get his own thanks to the Hands of Blue...
 * Irony: Had Jayne been given his award, he probably would have been in the main room when the Hands of Blue arrived and thus gotten zapped like everyone else. By double-crossing Jayne, McGinnis unintentionally saved Jayne's life!
 * Refuge in Audacity: the two most wanted fugitives in the Alliance going in the front door amid wanted posters for them and the possibility of meeting one of Simon's schoolmates.
 * The CMoA when he rescues the patient and then does his Drill Sergeant Nasty is REALLY pushing up the audacity. It works because no one dreams he would do so unless he belonged there.
 * Stiff Upper Lip: Simon is keeping rather a stiff calm all through the show, especially considering the unusual stress and danger to River.
 * The Scrounger : Most of the crew does this at the beginning. Notable is Kaylee going through the dump and saying, "Synchronisers".
 * The Strategist: Simon plans the whole caper; coming near to being a Magnificent Bastard in this one.
 * Throw It In: Mal putting his arm around Kaylee from behind as a friendly hug while celebrating the successful heist near the end of the episode was improvised by Nathan Fillion, and Joss Whedon kept it in as he felt it was a natural movement for Mal to make.
 * Thrown Out the Airlock: You know that quote from the page about keelhauling? This is where it's from. Jayne was lucky to have avoided this fate, as Mal was in full Papa Wolf mode and fully intent on spacing him for what he did on Ariel.
 * This isn't necessarily confirmed - it may have looked that way, but then, that's how Mal wanted it to look, no matter what his plans were. As well, the very next episode starts with a speech about holding a man over the volcano's edge in order to 'truly meet him'...
 * Took a Level In Badass: Simon, throughout the episode.
 * Villain with Good Publicity: "Federal Marshalls. River and Simon Tam, by the authority of the Union of Allied Planets, you are hereby bound by law."