Man, I Feel Like a Woman/Headscratchers

Describe Man, I Feel Like a Woman here.


 * I don't know... Having gone through a spectrum of weights, I'd say... I don't think I'd ever consider breasts on myself to be sexy. Ever. Now the other part, I don't know about that...
 * Fat man boobs are never as sexy as hot lady boobs.
 * Mostly because a female breast has a bit more to it than just fat. There's also Ductile tissue, giving firmness, and mammary glands, which produce milk (USUALLY not found in a man). Because of those, a breast on a woman will feel and look different than on a man. Unless the man has an estrogen snapback of some sort, resulting in the growth of these tissues...
 * Similarly, having been flat-chested at many points in my life (besides, y'know, pre-puberty) I don't think I'd have much incentive to walk around shirtless. Unless my alternate!me was unusually ripped. However, the stacked-in-the-pants bit is sheer Body Horror. I'd miss having my ovaries on the inside.
 * Protip: while we like having the elephant trunk outside, we wish the ovary-analogue (aka, testicles) was inside, too. Its... a rather vulnerable point. Damn you, tendency of testicles to produce less sperm at high temperatures and thus need to be somewhat detached from the heat-producing main body! If nature was just, egg cell production would have the same temperature issue. But it doesn't and men have the one biiiig physiological flaw that is nonetheless a structural necessity.
 * So, it's like... shooting the end boss in the glowing red eye? ... Metaphorically speaking. (And if women had our ovaries outside our body, testicle-style, where would they be placed? Hmm.)
 * Yes. Just...don't try it, though.
 * And if we did, where would I put them when I wear my sexy hot pants?
 * Logically, if ovaries were on the outside, they would have always been on the outside, and the development of skimpy/skintight clothing would have been different accordingly.
 * For that matter, how did mammals MANAGE to NOT evolve internal sperm glands? Even those domestic to areas that regularly surpass human body temperature still did not centralize any sort of heat-proof sperm trait.
 * Let's face it, humans got the short end of the evolution stick. For a start we all have to eat enough Vitamin C, which is made internally by almost every living thing. Just not us. We also get one of the weakest immune systems, and aren't very strong or agile either.
 * No one ever said that evolution was smart, just factual.
 * Aquatic mammals do have them internal, but whales and dolphins need an elaborate cooling system to keep them up and running.
 * Just as a disclaimer, liking the "elephant trunk" on the outside is not universal. Those who dislike having such an obvious and embarrassing sign of arousal (whereas before a certain point, other signs and signs present in females can easily be confused for discomfort or coldness), those who dislike the necessity of wearing pants loose enough or stiff enough to avoid an embarassing or arguably obscene bulge even when not aroused, many of those who are MtF Transgendered, those among the Furry Fandom who have the animal-equivalent of an Otakin that is a male of a with internal genitals and don't fail biology forever, and likely many more that aren't occurring to me at the moment don't like the "elephant trunk" on the outside.
 * Just to point it out, but if one of the genders didn't have something sticking out, we'd have to resort to cloacal kissing like birds do, the fine motor requirements of which would preclude drunk screwing, thus ruining the entire college experience. The elephant trunk sticking out makes it easier on everybody.
 * This troper actually uses the similarity between genitalia on different species to point out odd stuff in the theory of evolution and it's presumed effects over prolonged periods.
 * Totally agree. I don't think I'd benefit a lot from having breasts on my body instead of someone else's, and discussions with my current and past girlfriends has shown me that I'd have a lot to loose by having some. OTOH, I'm a bit jealous about the female way to sex as a whole... Sounds just about as interesting, varied, and rich for the one experiencing it on the inside as it may look insanely convoluted from the outside.
 * ...thanks guys, my libido just saw its own shadow and crawled back in for six months.
 * No problem! Anytime, buddy!