Daria/Funny

"We need a lot more money! / This really isn't funny! / You don't pay us enough to buy honey!
 * The striking teachers' chant in "Lucky Strike":

[after complaints by some teachers]

Mr. Demartino: Hey! I threw out the rhyme about the bunny!"

"Have you ever been to the children's zoo? When the birdies say "cheep", they're talkin' 'bout you! (Beat) Nah."
 * The teachers then get Mr. O'Neill to write them a new chant. He enlists the help of Trent.

"Helen: Daria! Get me the- (sees Daria in front of her with the phone) Thank you."
 * The moment Quinn starts talking about how her sub was flirting with a student, Daria gets up from the table and brings the phone to her mother like it was instinct.

"People of Mars! I mean, students of Lawndale High. This is your leader... um, principal. What was I saying? Oh! The teachers... the teachers... the strike's over! Your teachers will be back tomorrow! Good ni... day."
 * Ms. Li, after a sleepless night of tense negotiations, announces the end of the strike on the PA system:

"Trent: This is just like that REM video...except you can't hear anyone's thoughts.
 * Tiffany attempting to council Daria on self-esteem in a really funny Lampshade Hanging of her Verbal Tic. In fact, everything Tiffany says in subsequent episodes becomes a CMoF because of this one scene. It's probably...just...because...she previously...got...very few lines...so...I never...really noticed...she talks like thiiis......and that that...might make it difficult...to converse...at length...with people...
 * "SPIRIT ANIMAL! COME BACK, SPIRIT ANIMAL!"
 * "There he is! Behind that pack of zebras!"
 * "Mom, get the painkillers! Quinn...get the camera!"
 * Daria, Jane and Mystic Spyral stuck in traffic in The Tank, while "Everybody Hurts" by REM plays. It's immediately lampshaded:

(Daria looks straight ahead)

Caption:"

"Uncle Max (drunk): I always liked you, Trent. You were my favorite!
 * Trent talking to his Uncle Max:

Trent: And why is that, Uncle Max?

Uncle Max: 'Cuz you're a BUM! You're a lousy BUM! You're a rotten BUM! You remind me of MYSELF! Ya know why?

Trent: 'Cuz I'm a bum."

"Jake: That's it, sweetie! Avenge my death.
 * This exchange in "Jake of Hearts" following Jake's heart attack:

Daria: You're not dying, dad.

Jake: Avenge me!

Helen: Jake you're going to give yourself a... never mind."

"Sandi: Tiffany, dear, would you please explain to the Spatula Man why a bumper sticker cannot possibly compensate for the shame and permanent reputation damage involved in a single date with Charles Rutenhimer?
 * The DJ's from the same episode try to get the fashion club to go on a date with Upchuck:

Tiffany: Upchuck... eww."

"Jane: Daria, come out of there. The neighbors are starting to talk.
 * Just before that when "The Spatula Man" attempts to dive into the crowd.
 * "The Emotional Trauma Cycle of a High School Student"
 * The "bloopers" at the end of "Is It Fall Yet?"
 * "Did you really think you were going to get away with this?!" (Beat) "Well, it would be stupid to say yes now..."
 * "Mart of Darkness".
 * "CHEESE LOGS!!"
 * In the episode "Write Where It Hurts", during the story about her family in the future, Quinn tells her kids to watch something educational. A couple seconds later, Sick Sad World is heard. Daria and Quinn yell, "Not that!"
 * For that matter, a lot of Sick Sad World.
 * Really too many snarks to list are these.

Daria: Um... ok. Soon they'll be up to primitive drawings and civilization will be on its way."

"Jane: Well, what's your definition of true?
 * Jane advises Daria on an English assignment in "Write Where it Hurts":

Daria: Something that says something.

Jane: What, anything?

Daria: No, something, about something.

Jane: Let me get this straight, you're telling me that you want to write something, not just anything, that says something about something.

Daria: Right.

Jane: Gee, who'd ever believe you having trouble communicating."

"Daria: I'm an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance for strange men."
 * Also, at the beginning of the episode, Kevin saying something so profoundly stupid it makes Mr. O'Neil cry in frustration.
 * Pretty much any exchange between Daria and Amy in "I Don't".
 * Also, the stories that Daria tells her fellow bridesmaids, and the comments provided by Daria's even more deadpan escort, Luhrman.

Luhrman: She's really very good."

"Luhrman: I'm sorry, what did you say you do? I thought I heard Intelligence, but that can't be right."
 * Also, the scene where Erin introduces her not very brightly looking husband, who works for the government - Intelligence.

"Jake: Hey~ Mr. DeMartino! (brandishes hip flask) Can I offer you a little nip?
 * Field Trips drive Mr. DeMartino to drink.

DeMartino: Mr. Morgendorffer, I'm a teacher responsible for dozens of students on a fairly hazardous field trip. Do YOU think I should take a little nip?!

Jake: I guess not.

DeMartino: NO! I GUESS NOT! GIMME THAT! (snatches the flask and starts chugging like there's no tomorrow)"

"Jane: Trent, I don't care if [Daria] forgives you, I'm never speaking to you again.
 * "Jane's Addition":

Trent: You just did.

Jane: Damn!"

"Daria: "DAMMIT. It's MY turn to say 'Dammit'.""
 * "No Guy Fawkes Day?!"
 * From "The teachings of Don Jake."

"Daria: It's Mr O'Neill!
 * From "Everybody Loathes a Parade": Daria is stalked by a guy in an animal costume, and the guy faints because he doesn't get enough air. Daria pulls off the mask.

Tom: And he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for us meddling kids!"

"Helen: Meeting!
 * The epic lampshading of the Morgendorffer's family dynamic in "Jane's Addition".

Jake: Golf!

Quinn: Date!

Daria: Sarcasm."

"Jane: Do you know CPR or anything?
 * "Speedtrapped" cuts to commercial right after Daria finds out the money needed to bail Jane and Mystik Spiral out of jail went missing, then immediately cuts back to the show, so that Quinn could debunk Daria's suspicions that the hitchhiker stole it. (Quinn gave him the money so he could buy her some new clothes.)
 * In "Cafe Disaffecto" when the fat woman faints in front of Daria and Jane:

Daria: I once gave the Heimlich Maneuver to Quinn.

Jane: Did it work?

Daria: She wasn't choking."

"Jane:  We should be doing something now. I'm sure of it.
 * But it doesn't end there:

Daria: Yeah, I think you're right.

Jane takes a photo of the unconscious woman with her camera."

"Ms. Li: Did she ask you to feed her the chocolate?
 * From later in the same episode, when Daria and Jane are being dressed down by Ms. Li for refusing to sell chocolate to the hypoglycemic woman:

Daria: No.

Ms. Li: How do you know it wasn't for her family?

Jane: She has no family. She ate them."

""What about my feelings? What about my rights?" Beat "What about my bribe?""
 * After being told by Helen that she has no choice about working at Mr. O'Neil's summer camp, Daria replies:

"Jane: Daria, you think maybe someday you'll let me read your story?
 * "I believe it was Jefferson."
 * Quinn's Drama Queen reaction to the parental crackdown in The Big House.
 * The end of Write Where It Hurts

Daria: No, but I can show you the one I wrote where you run away with Kevin.

Jane: WHAT?"

"Daria You're really bursting out of the picture plane here.
 * The story in question is a parody of The Graduate with Jane as Benjamin stopping Kevin's wedding to Brittany. He runs away with her while Brittany excitedly throws the bouquet in the air.
 * Not to mention Daria's Jane Austen-esque story. One moment includes Daria explaining to Quinn that when she said Tren-er, Mr. Lane causes "bemusement rather than endearment," she basically meant, "He's flaky." Another comes at the end of the story, when Quinn's talk of marriage inadvertently scares away Mr. Lane and his "hunting party", which consisted of 1800s versions of Jesse, Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie.
 * Also Quinn's period-film pronunciation of "huh?"
 * Jake and Helen acting as each other for a therapy session...until Jake goes too far and hurts Helen's feelings.
 * In "One J At A Time", Daria's mother convinces her to finally invite Tom over for dinner to get to know her parents, but she's worried that Jake's eccentric personality and temper is gonna scare him off - but of course, she needn't worry as we get some of the funniest "male bonding" between Jake, Tom and
 * The Invitation: Daria and Jane discuss a picture Jane drew the previous summer:

Jane Yeah, that model was quite bursty. I think she had her "bursts" done."

"Quinn: "I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing. I will make a dainty garland for my head and sing."
 * From "Fair Enough" when Quinn is practicing her lines for the fair's production of The Canterbury Tales in the car:

Daria: With a hey-nonny-nonny, tra-la, tra-la. Would you give it a rest?"


 * The ENTIRE phone scene from "Pierce Me".