Arthur (animation)/Funny

PBS Kids Television Series:
"Arthur: You've got to hurry up, IQ! The missile will hit in ten seconds!
 * The fricking whole dang "Crazy Bus" song!!!!!
 * Arthur getting knocked on the head with a basketball in "Play It Again D.W."
 * D.W. enjoying the stock market show that replaced Mary Moo Cow in "The Last of Mary Moo Cow."
 * Also a minor Crowning Moment of Heartwarming when it's revealed that
 * In "Arthur Makes a Movie", where the gang tries to make a James Bond-ish type movie, they shoot a scene in the library where The Brain ("IQ") is pretending to put in a code to stop a missile. He's typing at a library computer with Arthur ("James Hound").

Camera pans to librarian at desk

Librarian: I don't know what's wrong, Ms. Turner. The computer won't let me check out these books!

Ms. Turner: I guess we'll just have to do it by hand.

Back to the kids

The Brain: According to my calculations, the last digit should be a 1 or a 2. But which is it? 1 or a 2?

He presses a button, and then all the lights go out.

Arthur: ...I guess it was a 2."

"The Brain (from inside a closet): There! Did that make the lights go on?
 * And later in the episode, it shows Brain trying to fix the lights, with Buster being very unhelpful.

Buster: I don't know, it's too dark to tell! Get it? (bursts out laughing) Too DARK to tell? (notices Brain giving him a Death Glare) No, still off, keep trying!"

"Buster: Arthur, we have to choose: face horrifying scary danger...or do our homework.
 * From early in the first season:

Arthur and Francine: HORRIFYING SCARY DANGER!"

"Mr. Frensky: Remember, if you win the game, I take you all out for ice cream! And if you lose-
 * The increasingly crazy rewrites in "Arthur Writes A Story."
 * In "Arthur's Chicken Pox," D.W. is sitting on the couch playing with a toy telephone when an advertisement comes on the TV saying "pick up the phone. That one right there on the couch. Order this Genuine Imitation Leather Cowbell."
 * At the end of "Arthur's Birthday", no one can break the pinata. Mr. Read decides to give it a try, but also fails. Determined, he hits it with a hammer, but still nothing. Finally, when everybody else is enjoying the party inside, Mr. Read
 * In "Brother, Can You Spare A Clarinet?", Binky is sent to the principal's office for not bringing his clarinet to school. He tells the principal he's a doofus. The principal then, looking through the student files, says, "No, no, no doofus here."
 * Fern's title card, which simply shows her silently scribbling out a story on her desk, compared to the more "exciting" title cards of the other characters. Fits perfectly with her introverted personality.
 * Sue Ellen snoring in "Sue Ellen's Little Sister".
 * "Then I can give Arthur his Tetris booster!"
 * A bit of dialog between Francine's dad, the kid's team coach, and Binky:

Binky: You drive us to the outskirts of town and leave us there?

Mr. Frensky: Nope! I still take you out for ice cream.

Binky: Aw, man. I'm never gonna see the outskirts of town."

"Arthur: Haven't you ever been sick?
 * From "Germophobia." After Buster is declared a slob:


 * Thought Bubble* Bitzi: No school for you today, Buster.

Buster: (dreamily) Yeah...

Arthur: Okay, wrong question."

"Arthur: We have to avoid going to an orphanage at all costs,﻿ especially one set in the 1800's."
 * The Love Ducks from "That's A Baby Show". Every time they are on TV. So weird, yet appealing in a way.
 * "Arthur is a dodo brain!"
 * In "Dad's Dessert Dilemma" there's Ratburn's increasingly flimsy excuse of "I thought you might like the spring reading list- oh are you having cake?" culiminating in him randomly showing up at Arthur's house for it.
 * In "Draw!", Ms. Sweetwater follows Ms. Tingley throughout the school, playing her guitar and singing to cheer her up.
 * "Mom and Dad Have a Great Big Fight", Arthur and D.W. fear their parents may be getting a divorce and worry that they will be abandoned. Cue Oliver Twist-inspired Imagine Spot.

"D.W.: Some people see the glass as half full. Other people just have glasses."
 * One episode featured this gem from D.W., who was talking to Arthur at the time:

"Ms. Sweetwater: I didn't move your cheese!
 * The episode "Desk Wars" starts out with Arthur in class attempting to introduce the show, but an argument breaks out amongst his friends (who should be the host of the show?). Mr. Ratburn takes over the introduction, and offers to take the viewer to the teacher's lounge to show how adults (unlike kids) don't fight over trivial matters. In the teacher's lounge, we see:

Principal Haney: Yes you did! Mr. Marco said so!

(both of them look angrily at Mr. Marco, who tries to look innocent)

Ms. Krasny: Alright, who hasn't been washing their coffee mugs?!"


 * Followed by Mr. Ratburn looking at the camera and nervously laughing.
 * Also in that episode, when Arthur and the gang are arguing about who should be the star of the show, Binky is heard yelling "It's called the Binky Barnes Variety hour! And anyone who doesn't like it can walk!".
 * The 'Parents Night' episode, when Mr. Frensky is shown falling asleep during a presentation at the last parents' night, and wakes up yelling "forty-two!". Francine has an Imagine Spot where he does the same in Mr. Ratburn's class, and Mr. Ratburn makes him write lines on a chalkboard.
 * Also, Sue-Ellen's Imagine Spot where her mother shows up in an elaborate dress and everyone laughs at her.
 * The Tough Customers trying to figure out what Binky's big secret is in "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." They eventually conclude, incorrectly, that it must have something to do with his upcoming clarinet solo. "Maybe he's playing something really romantic, like Debussy."
 * The revelation in "The Great MacGrady" that Muffy is so sheltered and pampered that she actually doesn't know how to do dishes by hand, believing that she can get the job done simply by squirting some dishwashing liquid on a sink full of dirty dishes.
 * The weird grunt Arthur has at the end of the prologue to "Swept Away".
 * Brain yelling at his TV in "Brain Gets Hooked".
 * "DORA WINIFRED!!! DORA WINIFRED!!!!"
 * "I told you NOT TO TOUCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!"
 * Everybody dropping glass after someone utters a curse word in "Bleep".
 * Towards the opening of "D.W.'s Library Card," D.W. is with Binky at a table in the library and he's reading to her from a biography about Frederic Chopin, the famous romantic composer. Arthur approaches, telling her to quit bothering Binky, and D.W. objects, saying that Binky was reading to her about Chopin. Binky quickly covers the biography with a book featuring a cover with a picture of a guy doing a karate kick and says that he was reading about "Choppin'," a karate master. Arthur leads D.W. away and Binky goes back to reading his Chopin biography.

1981 Film:
"Arthur: You must have hated this moose."
 * The entire movie is hilarious, but some lines stand out, most of them spoken by Arthur when he's particularly drunk.
 * "I think I'll have another scotch; would you like another fish?"
 * "Oh, you're a hedge."
 * "Steal something casual."
 * * Notices someone with a Nice Hat* "Nice (continues walking, gets about five rows further) hat."
 * All of Arthur's speech when announcing that the wedding has been called off.
 * Susan: "A real woman could stop you from drinking." Arthur: "It'd have to be a real big woman."
 * And all the comments about the stuffed-and-mounted moose head on the wall at his fiance's father's mansion.

"Ralph: I take it this bum will be calling you?
 * Apparently there were a ton of different takes of this scene, with Dudley Moore playing off the moose a different way each time.
 * This exchange between Linda and her father.

Linda: Dad! He's a millionaire.

Ralph: You have my permission to marry him."

"Ralph: (deliriously) He's taking the knife out of the cheese...do you think he wants some cheese?"
 * The scene of when Susan's dad grabs a knife from the cheese in an attempt to kill Arthur and Linda.