Wall Banger (Darth Wiki)/I Carly

The iCarly Wall Bangers page.

For events not quite a Dethroning Moment of Suck but pretty close.

Season 1

 * iHate Sam's Boyfriend: Jonah randomly decides to kiss Carly. Out of nowhere. Under a badly mistaken impression Carly is jealous of her best friend and wants Jonah for herself.
 * Possible Fridge Brilliance here. In iKiss, Sam says she's never kissed anyone-- this would obviously mean she never kissed Jonah. Perhaps Jonah got annoyed that Sam wouldn't even kiss him, and moved on to someone who would.

Season 2

 * iMeet Fred is already a DMOS entry for the main plot-line. But Spencer buys a goddamn ostrich.
 * You're complaining about the fact that one of the characters buys an ostrich when the whole series runs on absurdity and randomness.
 * iGo To Japan: Employing English-illiterate security guards to man the entrances of a venue holding an international contest of various webshows, most of which speak English.
 * iGo Nuclear: Mr. Henning's incredibly strict rules. Sam gets an A on her project by simply jamming her thumb into an orange. Carly failing her project was one thing, if only for how bad nuclear waste can be. But Freddie gets a D- for it being nothing normal in his eyes and for importing worms from Portugal because he thinks burning jet fuel is bad for the economy? Not cool.

Season 3

 * iSpace Out: The whole episode turns out to be pointless in the end when Carly breaks out of their space pod by breaking off the handle on their door. Combine that with the sub-plot with Spencer and the little girl (which was just an absurd oddity), and you have an episode that shouldn't have been made, for the most part.

Season 4

 * iPity the Nevel: Freddie is at the Groovie Smoothie with a hot girl, Gibby, now with werewolf hair on his face, just comes in and takes the girl from Freddie. And when Gibby is reminded that he has a girlfriend, what's his response? "We're not exclusive." This might come off as rude to some people, especially after how horrible he was to Freddie in "iEnrage Gibby" on the suspicion that Tasha was cheating on himself, with Freddie.
 * This episode gives us another wall banger when you think of the above mentioned episode iSell Penny Tees. Nevel yells at a little girl for making him drop something, then breaking her lollipop? Awful, and Nevel deserves to have things thrown at him, water sprayed at him, entire parties thrown to celebrate his misery, and be hated by millions of people. Sam enslaves children? Hilarious, and the kids are jerks for leaving her.
 * iOMG. Sam's feelings coming out of nowhere.

Season 5

 * iLose My Mind: The fact that we're supposed to not like the cops and the person running the mental hospital because they wouldn't break a law so they could do their webshow. Also how no one, not even Freddie, cares that Sam physically abuses Freddie and says they should date.
 * It reminds me of what happened in Hey Arnold, with Helga being put in therapy for her bullying. Except no-one cares. You'd think her behaviour would have come up at least before during her therapy sessions with her mother, and then as part of her 'induction'. But no. It's just ignored. Everyone ignores it.
 * The two episodes iOMG and iLMM are just the same but with the people flipped at the end. Sam hides. In iOMG she hides (badly) her emotions. In iLMM she hides (physically). In iOMG Sam kisses Freddie with no build up and no discussion. Then in iLMM Freddie kisses Sam with no build up and no discussion. So in the space of three days Freddie has gone from a guy who was in love with Carly (which was unquestionable all the way up to iDo at the latest), with zero on-screen closure given to his feelings for Carly which would tell the audience he doesn't have them, to coming to terms with Sam's feelings and then somehow returning them. In three freaking days. Most people think longer about what they are having for dinner that week.
 * iDate Sam And Freddie. Every damn moment Sam and Freddie were together in this episode made my head bleed. Jennette and Nathan have no chemistry romantically because of their friendship, they obviously aren't being directed to actually look like they have any passion (you could fix it by making them watch a tape of every kissing moment in Victorious and go back to iSaved Your Life to watch how Miranda and Nathan kissed), so I blame the crew rather than the two actors. That's only maybe one scene. Every other freaking scene they are in involves them constantly fighting. If I hadn't been told how awesome Miranda's final speech was at the end I'd have shut it off. It was tiring, boring, cliche. Worst of all, it made it oh so obvious Sam and Freddie shouldn't be dating at all. Instead we have to watch two more episodes of them together even if they don't stay together in the end.
 * It's basically ruining the show, and a waste of 5 episodes that should have been used on something else like actual comedy. All I can hope for is that the creators are pushing Sam and Freddie down this path to show everyone just how badly the two of them are if they are together because they are tired of the Sam/Freddie fandom overshadowing the show itself and are getting it out of the way now rather than have it keep building until the end.
 * The explanation for how Sam came to like Freddie. She pushed him into a bike courier, Freddie got knocked into a fire hydrant, got knocked out, and while he was bleeding from the ears Sam realized how cute he was. Seriously, what the fuck. And Freddie is all "awww". You deserve whatever hell Sam puts you through Freddie. You really do. Grow some balls.
 * And he suffered hearing loss because of that. Yep, they're perfect for each other.
 * iCan't Take It. Okay Freddie, just ignore the fact your college chances have been ruined and your girlfriend has zero respect for you. Okay. Sure Carly, just ignore the exact thing you said you weren't going to do, which was to fix Sam and Freddie's relationship problems, and go and fix their dysfunctional relationship yet again. Okay Sam, just keep being a bitch and expecting everyone to love you anyway (might as well, no-one seems to realize how sick her behaviour is). Sure Gibby, want to break them up in the first half of the episode, then suddenly switch right near the end for no reason to get rid of Mrs. Benson. Sure Dan, keep writing shit like this. No wonder the episode ratings are going down the toilet. If the next episode isn't a break up, then hello Mr Shark and welcome to Ruined FOREVER, because iCarly will be dead. Instead the show will be iSeddie or iSam.
 * To make matters worse, when Dan first announced the episodes, he mentioned that he often heard the staff and crew say, and I quote, "These may be the best iCarly episodes we've ever done". While some people on the iCarly Wikia are calling some of these episodes their favorites, I doubt casual fans would say the same.
 * And when Freddie tries to justify that Sam basically ruined his life, Carly tells him to shut up.
 * iLove You. Apparently Sam getting Freddie kicked out of one of his clubs is equal to her attempt at trying to smuggle ham into a prison using Freddie, only for him to fail because she did something incredibly and obviously stupid by stuffing two entire leg hams into his pants. Sam then blames Freddie for it. At least Seddie is done for now. How can anyone ship them?

Season 6

 * iGo One Direction. This is the moment the show turned completely into a sellout merchandise musical whore fest. A group with no actual reason to get on the show, turns up and wastes an episode to plug their shitty boy-band music.
 * iApril Fools. The title says it all. The viewers were fooled by a garbage episode that never show have got made. No wonder the very next episode got the worst ratings in the history of the show.