Horrible Fanfic I-L

Important Note: Merely being offensive in its subject matter is not enough to justify a work as So Bad It's Horrible. Hard as it is to imagine at times, there is a market for all types of deviancy (no matter how small a niche it is). It has to fail to appeal even to that niche to qualify as this. Any descriptions that fail to imply anything but offensiveness will be deleted.

--> ""You know, I don't think there is a word in the english language to convey just how horribly offensive and sickening this writing is. I also don't think there's a word for the kind of person who is stupid enough to think that the genocide of millions is a good background for a glorified highschool romance. Congratulations, you've just pissed on the memory of the millions who died during that horrifying war. This is honestly one of the worst things I've ever read, and that's not even including the sub-par writing, horrible grammar and hideous mischaracterization. This is simply depraved.""
 * If I Was Your Nazi (slash, Holocaust AU). Although the fic has been taken down, a MST of it is available here.
 * Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
 * Pairings: Yes
 * Synopsis: Organization XIII are (human?) Nazis, some more willingly than others. They do things that, in Real Life, would have put them in a concentration camp. Instead, they're running concentration camps between classes...
 * Comments: This review says it best:


 * Indeed it does.
 * "Organization XIII in World War Two" is a decent idea for a Dark Fic; but a combination of Beige Prose, historical inaccuracy, Canon Defilement, and unsuitable fluffiness dooms this fic before it leaves the ground.


 * Invader MAZ (Mary Sue, horrible grammar, script format, character death) (thankfully) Safe for work
 * Fandom: Invader Zim with a cameo from Johnny
 * Pairings: Mary Sue/Zim, Tallest Sues/Tallest, and a lot of Star Boarding
 * Synopsis: Enter Maz, who is "exceedingly tall and very beautiful for a a girl Irken invader girl". The Tallest both adore her, but the thought of being in a threesome squicks her out, and so she goes after ZIM -- um, she leaves for Earth to be with her one true love. She infiltrates skool. All the boys fall in love with her, including Dib, whom she uses to get to ZIM. She confesses to ZIM and then uses a magical device to turn them both older -- never mind that ZIM is canonically already an adult. Out of nowhere, ZIM lets it slip that he's in love with Tak. Maz is unimpressed and sends Nny to take care of her. With that out of the way, ZIM and MAZ proceed to kiss 56,935,748,302 times and then are married. The fic ends with Dib's death and ZIM and Maz's sending their annoying offspring to the Tallest. The end.
 * Comments: Oh dear God, the script format! The lack of description and the general strangeness are too much for anyone with brain cells. And it looks sincere...


 * It's All Too Much. (mpreg, explicit sex, "Paul in pain", suicide attempt)
 * Fandom: The Beatles Real Person Fic
 * Pairings: Paul/Jennifer (an Author Avatar), implied past Ringo/Jennifer
 * Synopsis: After a wild bout of sex that somehow feels unusual to our narrator Jennifer (with Paul pulling out just before climax as an attempt at birth control), Paul becomes seriously ill. A week later (with few details, but we know Paul has not been improving), the doctor determines, hardly believing it himself, that Paul is pregnant because Jennifer's egg somehow got into him -- and no, we do not know how this was determined; what is more, it will be a life-endangering pregnancy because the doctor does not know where the egg implanted, just that it's in the stomach cavity, likely on a vital organ. Paul is pro-life enough that he decides to go through with it anyway, to Jennifer's astonishment. Much pain, UST, and poor communication ensues.
 * Comments: This Fanfic has been sought out by people who aren't fans of The Beatles for its depiction of how not to do mpreg; it is known as the infamous Paul McCartney Mary Sue mpreg fic. It is also a Hurt Comfort Fic, only with almost no comfort for Paul, who is the one doing most of the hurting. It's bad enough (nigh-involuntary screams, tears, passing out cold) that he makes one impulsive suicide attempt. (That he forgets that death by sleeping pills would be bad for the baby may or may not be justified.) Jennifer (the character) is at least part Tsundere Sue and is quite callous about people other than herself and Paul - and she isn't exactly easy on him. (When Ringo finally learns about the pregnancy and asks who's messed up, Jennifer proposes they have sex to find out. Ringo rejects the idea violently - and Jennifer is hurt.) The pregnancy nearly kills Paul several times over, and he is manhandled several times during it even though it's explicitly said it'll make him worse - sometimes by an angry Jennifer, who should know better. Paul and Jennifer still try to have sex, and the mood killers aren't directly related to Paul's suffering. The pacing is bad: there is little drama in the dramatic events, and the story is only about twenty pages (and the last one is somewhat anticlimactic). If this can be done competently, it needs more space to be done in. The story also violates the laws of biology more than necessary for mpreg. And we get Rouge Angles of Satin and Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma. Almost So Bad It's Good, though. An Old Shame for its author.


 * The Jekyll's Children series: "Jekyll's children," "Jekyll's children part two," "Torien's Goodbye," and "Werewolves part two." (Capitalization is the author's.) A send-up (read: MST) by LadyNorbert is here.
 * Fandom: The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
 * Pairing: Henry Jekyll/unknown.
 * Synopsis: They're all one-chapter stories that should be separate chapters of a single story, and they're about the seven peculiar offspring fathered by Henry Jekyll and an unidentified woman. At least, one hopes there was a woman involved. Four of the children are werewolves, two can walk through walls, and one is a vampire.
 * Comments: The fandom for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is simply brimming with Mary Sues and badfic galore, but these tales are among the worst. Plotless, incomprehensible, no proofreading, Wanton Cruelty to the Common Comma, etc.


 * Kanashii no Imi, by Leaf-chan (rape, character death, explicit sex)
 * Fandom: Tenchi Muyo!
 * Pairing: Yes, unfortunately
 * Synopsis: Fat and hopeless "Otaku" Original Character Jeff is accidentally teleported to the Masaki household by Washu in the middle of masturbating to anime characters. After failing to convince Washu that they only exist to entertain those on the other side of the Fourth Wall, she decides to keep him for experiments. SOMEHOW she feels generous enough to let him meet the rest of the girls. In the process, he meets Sasami. What happens that night... well...
 * Comments: This was one fanfic that has been proven to be unMSTable. Every attempt to mock the fanfic has led to moments of Angrish in even the best people and MSTies. The story's premise was so bad that an attempt to MST it led two authors to write a Revenge Fic out of it!
 * This is a Most Triumphant Example of Audience-Alienating Premise. Leaf-Chan demonizes Otaku with typecasting that makes Lester the Unlikely seem accurate, or at least sincere. It's possible this is a scathing Author Tract aimed directly at the people who will never agree with it.
 * It is. Most people don't bother to look beyond the premise. but this is, in fact, a brutal deconstruction (and thinly veiled stealth Take That) of Sasami lemons and their fans. It still fails though: Leaf-Chan's bias against Otaku is greater than Blender Magazine's against prog rock.

""wow, that was somewhat different but still great.""
 * King of The Hill Episode 1:Peggy's Revenge You can read the MST here. (rape, genital mutilation, scat)
 * Fandom: King of the Hill
 * Synopsis: Peggy, frustrated with her husband's performance in bed because of his narrow urethra, decides to get some of her friends together and get a little revenge. This revenge involves dick torture and scat. Lots and lots of scat.
 * Comments: Horrifically bad. It would normally be funny, but the scene where Lucky tries to widen Hank's urethra is cringe-worthy. Then comes the pooping... This may be the worst King of the Hill fanfic imaginable, complete with miserable spelling and grammar.
 * The sad thing is, if this had been done just a little more competently, then it might have been funny.
 * Anyone else notice that Lucky is referred to as "Mike" in one sentence, and Peggy is called "Jenny" once? Also, the fic switches to a first person POV at odd points near the end; perhaps Bill was invited to watch but, as usual, people ignored him :P. Or perhaps the whole fic is copy-pasted from something else.
 * Also, note the singular review:


 * Seriously?
 * "Episode 1" is in the title. There may be a sequel in the works.


 *  Knight of the Forest, by Ginsenshi. (Explicit sex, crossover)
 * Fandom: Soul Calibur and Legend of Zelda
 * Pairing: An OOC Talim X OOC Link.
 * Synopsis: Talim lands in Link's world.
 * Comments: Link and Talim are not themselves. There are typos, Gratuitous Japanese, and Surpise Sex. And Talim curses more than she does in canon.

""rebecca swanesin si a cuzin of bella swan and she has jsut cum to live in Fourks with bella and chadlee. watch as rebecca chanjes da flowe of tyme and she hepls dose in fourks.""
 * kronicals of rebecca swansin, by TwirightRova: (Crazy Author who drops F-bombs every paragraph or so, horrible grammar, and incoherent plot)
 * Fandom: Twilight (Saga)
 * Pairing: OC x "Edoweird"
 * Synopsis: Quoted from description:


 * Comments: There's absolutely no limit to bad grammar in this story. The storyline doesn't make sense, and the Cullens are all taken out of character. The author plans to continue for around 8 more story arcs.
 * It is an obvious Troll Fic, but an unfunny cookie-cutter one. It does such a horrible job at being a Troll Fic that it deserves to be in this section.
 * Crap, There's a sequel.


 * Legends of Sakura: Son of Link and Zelda (terrible writing, Out of Character moments, Dead Fic)
 * Fandom: Legend of Zelda
 * Pairings: Sakura/'a strange creature'. Possibly.
 * Synopsis: Link gets Killed Off for Real by a horrifying man. Sakura grows up and gets lost in a forest.
 * Comments: Confusing. It's like a minefield of bad English. And Sakura is... not a masculine name.


 * Lucky Star Sadness and Sorrow (Dark Fic, Character Death, No Punctuation Period)
 * Fandom: Lucky Star
 * Synopsis: This story is a Flash Back framed by Konata and Minami's funeral. What happened: some nutjob goes on a shooting rampage. He almost kills Yutaka before Konata dives in front of his bullet in a Heroic Sacrifice. Then Yutaka takes a level in badass and starts whaling on the killer. Minami tries to pull him away but gets shot herself. Yutaka's sudden courage doesn't resurface. The story ends just after the flashback with the cast crying over Konata and Minami's graves.
 * Comments: Sheesh. The Sliding Scale of Idealism Versus Cynicism dictated that Lucky Star dark fics were inevitable, but dark fics only work if they have plot and intrigue and provoke some thought other than "BAAAAWWWW Konatas ded!1!!1!118675309". This guy could've done something with Yutaka suddenly mature and strengthened, but nope. In other words, They Plotted a Perfectly Good Waste and Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot at the same time. At least this author knows how to break the laws of physics. And the utter lack of punctuation adds insult to injury.
 * Even though this fic has the "Complete" tag on Fanfiction.net, the summary space contains the warning not to read it because it's under construction. The "first chapter" of this "two-chapter" fic says the same in bold allcaps. Exactly what the author intends to add is anyone's guess, but you have been warned.
 * Since it's been almost 2 years since he posted the fanfic (March 2009), it's safe to say that he posted it when it was still "under construction", and didn't bother to edit the description when the fic was complete.