Cloudcuckoolander/Quotes

"Sometimes I forget what I was going to say. Sometimes I remember things everyone else has forgotten for ever and always. Does that ever happen to you?"

- Delirium, The Sandman: Season of Mists

"You are not me! Hell, you're not even you, you idiot!"

- Shawn Michaels to Dude Love (Mick Foley), WWE Monday Night Raw

"Ahh! We're gonna die!...Wait, does it hurt to die?"

- Taro, Disgaea 2: Cursed Memories

"I ain't got no job, my wife left me, bills pilin' up, I got child support, and I don't know if any of what I just said is true... but I believe it."

- Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force

"Sometimes I think your train of thought is carrying a shipment of toxic waste."

- Ozy, to Millie, Ozy and Millie

"Chiyo: [Trying to work under a tight schedule] Oh, we're not gonna make it! Somebody turn back the clock before it's too lay-hay-hate!

Osaka: [Sets up a chair under the clock, stands on the chair, and reaches] Oh... I can't quite reach it!"

- Azumanga Daioh

"Black Mage: Where do you keep getting those posters?

Fighter: Aren't you going to ask how it's our lifelong dream when we just met Red Mage.

Black Mage: So you're actually aware that this makes no sense then?

Fighter: Yet we chase our dreams anyway.

Black Mage: Every day with you is an adventure I never wanted. Like swimming naked through shards of glass."

- Eight Bit Theater

"Homestar Runner: Hey, guess who I'm supposed to be!

Strong Bad: Um... Homestar Runner?

Homestar Runner: Hey, you got it! First try! Was it my star [shows off a paper star attached to his usual one] or propeller cap [bends over and shows off a second cap] that gave it away?

Strong Bad: It was your unbelievably loose grasp on the world around you.

Homestar Runner: Yeah, I guess I do have one of those."

- Homestar Runner, TrogdorCon '97

"Joey: Maybe my ruler was wrong.

Pheobe: Maybe all the rulers are wrong."

- Friends

"So I was thinking... wait that doesn't sound right."

- The Wallflower Report

"Aeris: Do you even listen to yourself anymore?

Leo: I try not to. It breaks the illusion."

- VG Cats, #160, "Start the Reactor"

"I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive, but your weak link is: this is Earth."

- Chosen One, Kung Pow

"Church: So, how're you doing, Caboose? Are you following any of this whatsoever?

Caboose: I think so... That guy Tex is really a robot, and you're his boyfriend. So that makes you... a gay robot.

Church: [Wearily] Yeah... that's right... I'm a gay robot..."

- Red vs. Blue

"That was some quality playing there, courtesy of Raocow and friends. The friends are the many voices just kinda chillin' in my head... I don't hear them, but they're there."

- Raocow, "toot toot all about space lime"

"I was thinking what it's like to be abandoned and tortured and abused and forgotten. When your life is so worthless that your only degraded value to anyone is when your pain gives them amusement, and the person entrusted to care for you sees you as more disposable than used tissue.

But then I thought... "I wonder what it's like to fuck a butterfly?""

- Ragdoll, Secret Six

"Early: Yeah, I know 'bout Dan Halen. He was a ornery feller, chatterin' up inna tree all tauntin' like. Cheeks all puffed up with wallynuts and whatnot. I took aim at 'im with my pellet gun and blasted the tar outta him.

Interviewer: Are you sure you're not talking about that stuffed squirrel over there?

[Cut to stuffed squirrel on Early's mantle]

Early: Oh. Well, you might be right about that, now.

Interviewer: Is there anything you can say about Dan Halen.

Early: Ummm... Uh...

Interviewer: The man who's been your boss for the past 17 years.

[Long pause]

Early: Wally nuts. [Nods confidently] Blasted the hell out of 'im."

- Squidbillies

"Some people think I'm bonkers, but I just think I'm free!

And I'm just livin' my life; there's nothin' crazy about me!

Some people pay for thrills, but I get mine for free!

Man, I'm just livin' my life; there's nothin' crazy about me!"

- Dizzee Rascal, "Bonkers"

"Talking with Rin is like playing chess with a supercomputer who does seemingly random moves as if to mock everything you know about chess. It's like that, but with human interaction. And even if I win, it feels like losing."

- Hisao Nakai, Katawa Shoujo

"You know, whenever she starts talking I think to myself, "Maybe this time it'll make sense." I'm always wrong."

- Andre Harris describing Cat Valentine, Victorious

"In the parlance of the 20th century, this is an odd-ball. His name is James B. W. Bevis, and his tastes lean toward stuffed animals, zetter-music, professional football, Charles Dickens, moose heads, carnivals, dogs, children and young ladies. Mr Bevis is accident-prone, a little vague, a little discombobulated, with a life that possesses all the security of a floating crap-game. But this can be said about our Mr Bevis: Without him, without his warmth, without his kindness, the world would be a considerably poorer place. Albeit, perhaps, a little saner."

- Rod Serling's opening monologue for "Mr. Bevis," The Twilight Zone

"Secretary: I don't know if it's a city or a state.

Both watch Giselle spin around in circles wearing a dopey smile

Robert: Maybe it's a state of mind."

- Enchanted

"Now you know I tell people I'm actually from another planet, you know, 'cause I'm a bit off the wall, well I'll tell you this boy OWNS the other planet, my goodness!"

- Nicko McBrain, on Derek Riggs.