Real Women Never Wear Dresses Sandbox



""...while most reasonable people see women and men as equals, few (if any) dare to claim that femininity is masculinity's equal.""

- Julia Serano, Whipping Girl

In a World that is only recently recovering from decades of women in fairly limited media roles, sometimes fan communities can have trouble. Once a female character is seen doing something a little, well, too domestic for her own good, say, doing menial household chores, or getting dressed up really fancy, or being too chummy with dudes (romantically or not), or giving support usually off of the battlefield, or liking (shudder) the color pink... well, things can get ugly. And there can be an Internet Backdraft.

In short, a feminine woman is considered as a weak, man-pleasing doormat.

When this trope is carried to its extreme, it has the effect of marginalizing the actual accomplishments of female characters, supporting the very Double Standard that feminism opposes. Female characters are often expected to act like men lest they lose their cred as feminist icons/female role models. Male characters are not held to the same standard and can express feminine interests and mannerisms with no criticism from practitioners of this trope. (Sometimes.)

Since the emergence of feminism as a cultural evolution, even feminists themselves have battled over the extent to which a female can act traditionally feminine without undermining their own credibility in a male world. At times, progressive feminists insisted that for women to be equal to men, they must act like men in every respect. Conforming to feminine stereotypes or gender roles was viewed as weakness or surrender. Modern interpretations hold that a woman can dress and act feminine while still demonstrating self-confidence and self-reliance. This trope is about the clash of these two ideologies.

Be careful, though! This trope isn't a hammer with which to beat down accusations of sexism, or criticism of gender stereotyping. There is nothing inherently right or wrong about the Action Girl or the White Magician Girl, and it's certainly not the end of feminism/progress as we know it if a woman likes to cook for someone. In this case, it isn't the tropes themselves that are the problem, it's the breakdown that can occur between theory and practice. In theory it's fine that a girl doesn't like fighting and prefers to give support from the sidelines. In practice though, writers can often fall victim to that stereotype and don't give female characters an active role at all when they need it.

Interestingly enough, in Ancient Rome a tunic was considered a masculine garment and in the Roman's first encounter with trousers (worn by the "barbarians"), they considered them feminine. And of course if the Romans said something was masculine, well, their opinion was worth hearing. The Greeks had the same thought when they first came across the trouser-wearing Persians - because obviously real men wear skirts.

There are many gender tropes affected by this: The Chick, Yamato Nadeshiko, Tsundere, Tomboy and Girly Girl, Girl Next Door, Housewife, and Acceptable Feminine Goals, as well as other Double Standard tropes. Compare Girls Need Role Models and What Measure Is a Non-Badass?. A subtrope of Stop Being Stereotypical. Contrast Real Men Wear Pink, Action Girl and Lady of War. Funnily enough, the usually male trope Real Men Hate Sugar often migrates into and marries this trope, as sugar is culturally coded with gentle and "traditional" femininity; things that the Straw Feminist wishes to remove herself as far from as possible.

Finally, this page can become a lightning rod for people to start complaining about fandoms you don't like, so please make sure to give specific explanations when referring to certain fandom activities.

Warning: High risk of spoilers.


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