Kippurbird/Funny


 * (After several paragraphs of Angrish) HE HAD A FUCKING CHANCE TO RESCUE THEM HE HAD A WHOLE LONG TIME OF A FUCKING CHANCE TO RESCUE THEM!! WISHING DOESN'T MAKE YOU A HERO!! OH GEE WIZ!! YES YOU COULD HAVE RESCUED THEM YOU GREAT BIG FUCKING IDIOT OF A NON-HERO. MY HATRED FOR YOU SEETHES LIKE THE ROTTEN UNDERBELLY OF A BLOATED ZOMBIE CORPSE FLOATING IN THE MUCK OF A SWAMP AFTER A THREE DAY TORRENTIAL RAIN. GHASHGFHHSHHS;sdas ...Ladies and Gentlemen? Our hero.
 * Saphira gets Eragon up in the morning, waking him up from his waking dreams. Again. Why the hell does he have waking dreams!? What the hell are they!? Why can't he just have regular dreams!? I WISH SOMEONE WOULD EXPLAIN TO ME THE PURPOSE OF THIS TWO WORD PHRASE!! I DON'T GET IT!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! HE'S ASLEEP WHEN HE'S HAVING THESE WAKING DREAMS. THEY'RE NOT DESCRIBED SO I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'RE LUCID DREAMING OR NOT AND WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE MENTIONED EVERY DANGLINGING DING DANG DONGER TIME HE WAKES UP!!! WHAT IS THEIR FRACKINGLY FIRCK PURPOSE!!! WHY! WHY WHY!!!!!!
 * How about the time Eragon and Arya had an hour to prepare and couldn't avoid beings spotted by Galbatorix's troops. Kippur rants about how useless their magic is, and says they should just turn invisible or something. Guess what Eragon does several chapters later for a trivial reason...
 * Zombie horses.