Funny (theatre)



The hills are alive... With the sound of laaauuughterr...


 * Assassins
 * The Crucible
 * Evita
 * Fiddler On the Roof
 * Hairspray
 * The History Boys
 * In the Heights
 * Into the Woods
 * Les Misérables
 * The Lion King
 * The Marriage of Figaro
 * Me and My Dick
 * Next to Normal
 * Passing Strange
 * The Phantom of the Opera
 * Pippin
 * Robin Hood
 * The Scarlet Pimpernel
 * Spring Awakening
 * Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
 * Tanz Der Vampire
 * The Thirty-Nine Steps
 * Title of Show
 * William Shakespeare
 * A Very Potter Musical

Theater
"Patsy:
 * The final clown sequence of the Cirque Du Soleil show Mystere has its arguable Crowning Moment near the end: Brian Le Petit is at the mercy of the furious emcee. What does he do?  That song, and all other comedic uses of it, may never be the same.
 * All the airplane segments in Alegria might count, too.
 * The Bottom Live shows are already pretty funny, but when they screw up and have to improvise, it just gets funnier. This is an especially good example.
 * This troper's personal favorite from Spamalot:

Arthur:

Patsy:"

"Arthur: Lady...I would have your true name.
 * Most of the songs, but in particular "I'm All Alone". Arthur singing about how alone he is? Sad. Patsy standing right there? Really sad. A bunch of other knights joining in Arthur's lament of how alone he is? Priceless.
 * Another one that may have been specific to the production this troper saw: The Reveal of the Lady of the Lake's true identity.

Lady:

Lancelot: ...Holy shit."

"Arthur: I thought you were a fairy.
 * His name is Lance-a-lot, and in tight pants-a-lot!

Lady of the Lake: No, that's Lancelot."

"Step two, hire the director. Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it two three kick turn turn turn kick turn. Ulla. Ooh-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah-wah. Step three, raise the money. Along came Bialy. Intermission! *Sits down and has a bag of lollies, on stage*"
 * Holy shit.
 * "The Song That Goes Like This." Each time the Lady of the Lake and Galahad try to bring the song to a close, the key just modulates again. By the final chorus, they're screaming "Oh, GODDAMMIT!" at the orchestra.
 * The battle between King Arthur and the Black Knight is 100% pure hilarity.
 * "It's only a flesh wound!"
 * "You stupid bastard, you've got no arms!"
 * In the touring production, at least, they distract the audience from setting up the "legless" special effect by having a man come on asking for "arms for the poor".
 * In "You Won't Succeed on Broadway", Sir Robin, his Minstrels and the Knight Chorus re-enact the Bottle Dance scene from Fiddler On the Roof... with grails on their heads. Robin's first mention of "if we don't have any Jews" is usually met with a full minute of laughter as well.
 * A metafictional example: shortly after the number, King Arthur asks the audience "Are there any Jews here?" This (Jewish) troper saw the show in Palm Beach... it brought the house down.
 * At the performance this American troper went to, the French taunting included "I hurl my shoes at your president!"
 * The Producers: "Now Ulla belt." Words cannot describe how funny it is when the breathy sex kitten character suddenly starts making like Ethel Merman.
 * The entire exchange starting with the introduction of Leo's blue blanket. "I'm WET! I'm WET! I'm hysterical and I'm WET!!"
 * "I'm IN PAIN! I'm in pain and I'm wet and I'm STILL HYSTERICAL!"
 * Adolf Elizabeth Hitler?
 * It's Mel Brooks, what do you expect? I'm reminded of:

"Keano: "Typical! If you fail to plan, then you're planning to fail."
 * In a touring production I saw, the actor playing Max pulled out the program at that point, and looking at it, noted, "Oh, he's good. He's no Nathan [Lane], but he's good."
 * When I saw it, it was in a college town and the theater was rather empty due to a pivotal football game on the same day. During the "intermission," Max turned to the audience and said, "In case any of you were wondering, the score is 19 to 22."
 * When this troper saw it, several of the other actors were having Birthdays that night, so he gets to "Intermission," breaks the fourth wall, asks the audience to help him sing Happy Birthday to them, which we all proceeded to do, and then gets right back into the song. Doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming too.
 * "Leo, why you go so far downstage right?"
 * "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Gimme those books!" "Fat fat fatty!" "Books!" "Fat!" "Books!" "Fat! "Books!" "Fat!"
 * I, Keano an Irish musical which parodied the controversial leaving of the Irish World Cup team in 2002 by Roy Keane had two moments.
 * Keano is going around the stage complaining about all the inadequacies of the Irish training regimen. He looks around at the props and laments "The fecking trees aren't even real!".

Packie Bonnerus: "But if you plan to fail, and you do fail, then surely you have succeeded?""

"Christmas Eve: Ruv!
 * Avenue Q: Hilarious throughout, but nothing quite beats (at least to this troper).
 * Most of the Lyrical Dissonance is hilarious, but this troper finds "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" particularly amusing.
 * This troper was howling at the Bridezilla of Kate, but maybe that only happened at the production she saw...
 * At the production this troper saw, Trekkie Monster replied to Kate's "Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet" by breaking the fourth wall, and pointing at (probably a specific and random member of) the audience.
 * Kate singing back-up for Christmas Eve:

Kate: Love!

Christmas Eve: And hate!

Kate: And hate!

Christmas Eve: They like two brothers...

Kate: Brothers!

Christmas Eve: ...who go on a date.

Kate: Who...what?"

"Bad Idea Bears: LET'S PLAY A DRINKING GAME!!!
 * The Bad Idea Bears. Cute as a button little Care Bear looking things, who only show up to offer truly bad ideas. They're always a riot, but their truly crowning moment arrives when Princeton and Kate are at a bar and have just agreed that they shouldn't get too drunk:

Bad Idea Bear 1: Here, have a Long Island Iced Tea!"

"Rod: I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her, so soon I'll be off to Alberta!
 * No longer part of the show, but this.
 * The song "My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada," in which Rod tries a little too hard to convince the others that he's not gay. Especially hilarious are the ending lines:

(Beat)

Rod: ...I mean Vancouver! Shit, her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver- She's my girlfriend! My wonderful girlfriend! Yes I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada! (A pause, as the music winds down) And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!"

"Kate: Is she a friend of yours?
 * The animation sequences. Especially "Five nightstands! Four nightstands! ...One night stand!")
 * This one's kind of specific to the touring production this troper saw in Omaha, but during The Money Song, the actors all got back to the stage, Christmas Eve says "How much did we get?" And Princeton responds with "Well, besides this ticket stub to the Huskers game, not much at all." Since it's a football town, the audience, including this troper, was rolling in the aisles.
 * This particular exchange, where Kate sees Lucy going to Princeton's apartment, is both hilarious and awesome:

Princeton: Uh, yeah.

Kate: Is her name "Purpose?""

"Galinda: And he's been thinking, which really worries me."
 * Christmas Eve's wedding dress. Words can't describe how wonderfully tacky it is.
 * This one is always laughing during Glinda's crowning moment of awesome
 * Another point for her would be:

"Fiyero: Uh, listen, I've been thinking...
 * Which is followed by

Elphaba: Yes, I've heard."

"Galinda: Doctor Dillamond, why do you keep talking to us about the past? You're supposed to be teaching us history. (Everyone, especially Elphaba, give her a long look.)"
 * Actually put her down for damn near everything said by G(a)linda because it was written for Kristin Chenoweth and she's always adorably hilarious.
 * Such as the following:

"Galinda: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe...
 * The scene directly following Glinda sending Dorothy toward the Emerald City: from Elphaba and Glinda exchanging verbal jabs and later physical slaps, to Elphaba's hilariously cliched evil cackling, to Fiyero dramatically swinging in on a vine... in the middle of a cornfield...
 * The entirety of "What Is This Feeling" qualifies, but it is best encapsulated by this exchange of first impressions:

Beat.

Elphaba: Blonde."

"Galinda: (shakes wand) "Is this thing on?" (tosses wand aside) "Wear the frock, it's pretty!""
 * This troper thinks that this part is even funnier in Japanese. Galinda shooting off words like bullets!
 * Also, almost the entirety of "Popular". "La la, laa-aa, laaaaa!" For certain the moment when Galinda tries to use her new wand to turn Elphaba's frock into a "pretty ball gown".

"Galinda: *ahem* (in a lilting, fairy-like voice) Ball gown. *nothing happens* *ahem* (In a decidedly LESS fairy-like voice) BALL GOWN!!!"
 * It's doubly hilarious when she tries to do it before the above quote.


 * Elphaba's attempts to do Galinda's hair toss and subsequent giggle were screamingly hilarious; it only got better when Fiyero imitated it in the very next scene.
 * Made even more hilarious in a college production I saw - the girl playing Elphaba had a buzz cut.
 * Arsenic and Old Lace is one long Crowning Moment of Funny, but the best is Mortimer's description of a character's Too Dumb to Live behaviour in a horrendous play he's just seen while.
 * There's also the moment when Teddy first charges up "San Juan Hill" (at least in the Film version; This Troper has not seen the play).
 * Come on, we need to remember Mortimer's line.

"Jefferson: "Mr. Adams! Damn you, Mr. Adams! / You are obnoxious and disliked, that cannot be denied! / Once again, you stand between me and my lovely bride..."
 * When Tony first brings his parents to Alice's house in You Can't Take It With You.
 * Especially when they play the word association game.
 * It's not a comedy by any means, but Constantine bringing in the dead seagull (the first time) in The Seagull.
 * Well, it's a comedy according to the playwright.
 * 1776 has the entirety of "But Mr. Adams," the song where the Founding Fathers shove the writing of their lame excuse to delay Congress from taking a vote (today more commonly known as The Declaration of Independence) on Thomas Jefferson, but the ending is absolutely hilarious. Also, any production that does not include ludicrous dancing is not doing it right.

Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman: "Love-lee briiiiiide..."

Jefferson: "Ohhh, Mr. Adams! / You are driving me to homicide!"

F, L, & S: HOMICIDE! HOMICIDE!

Adams: "QUIET! Jefferson! Mr. Jefferson!"

F, L, & S: "We may see murderrr! Yeeee-eeeeeet...!""

"John Adams: That was the most revolting display I have ever witnessed.
 * During that song in the film, Franklin, Livingston, and Sherman dancing down the stairs singing about sexual combustibility managed to put a classroom of cynical teenagers in stitches.
 * Also, Richard Henry Lee leaving and coming back to sing his theme song, and Adams and Franklin's reaction to him.

Benjamin Franklin: They're warm-blooded people, Virginians.

John Adams: Not him, Franklin, you!"

"John Dickinson: Are you calling me a coward?
 * The fight (well, one of them) in Congress:

John Adams: Yes... coward!

John Dickinson: Madman!

John Adams: Landlord!

John Dickinson: LAWYER!

CANEFIGHT!!!

GUNSHOT!! In CONGRESS!!"

"Benjamin Franklin: "[Calling me an Englishman] is like calling an ox a bull. [smug grin] He's thankful for the honor, but he'd much rather have restored what's rightfully his."
 * Sometimes, you should explain the joke. This Troper's eighth grade class looked moderately confused during the "It's like calling an ox a bull" exchange, so the teacher stopped the DVD, explained the difference between an ox and a bull, replayed the scene, and the entire class howled.

John Dickinson: "When did you notice they were missing, sir?""

"Soothsayer: Beware the Ides of March...ooo...
 * It's the entire point of the show, but The Complete Works of William Shakespeare Abridged.

'Caesar: What the hell are the Ides of March?

Soothsayer: That's the 15th of March!

'Caesar: Why that's today! *Hrk*"

"Niki:
 * Hamlet, backwards. "OOB"
 * Also, the Brick Joke when Ophelia drowns. The actor takes a cup of water, splashes it in his face, and walks off. When they do it backwards, he comes onstage and spits a mouthful of water into an empty cup.
 * An index card mix-up gives us this gem: "Shakespeare started World War II by invading Poland."
 * "Cut the crap, Hamlet! My biological clock is ticking and I want babies now!"
 * There are several gems from A Musical Comedy of Murders of 1940


 * We were never close."

"Roger: And I'll do all the chorus boys.
 * And

Marjorie: I bet you will."

"Marjorie: I think I will have that drink, Helsa, it'll make it easier to forgive licentious behavior.
 * And

Roger: I was not being licentious, Marjorie, a bit lascivious, a trifle libidinous, perhaps but not licentious.

Marjorie: What's the difference?

Ken: The placement of the tongue, I'd imagine."

": Nobody move, it might be a power failure.
 * And, of course, the great moment after all of the lights in the theater go out

(pause followed by a shriek)

Bernice: What was that?!

Roger: An owl."

"''"The dish and the spoon, for instance--they're down on their luck, they come knockin' on my doghouse door, and I say, 'Not in my backyard, u-tensils! Go back to China."
 * Ah, but what about the funniest scene? In Act II, one of the characters, O'Reilly, is searching for the maid through the mansion, who then sneaks up on him and tries to kill him. Both attack each other, one thing leads to another, until... well... this happens.
 * And then there's Rent. This troper ALWAYS laughs when Mark says 'Mucho Masturbation'.
 * Then seeing it in a HIGH SCHOOL production. Basically the line was changed to where everyone yelled it at once and just pointed at the guy playing Mark who stood there and did absolutely nothing but shrug. This troper almost feel on the floor. It made the consistent laugh moment so much better.
 * The entirety of "Over The Moon" has this troper in stitches, but nothing will ever beat "...Moo with me."
 * For some reason, probably the combination of her lampooning of inappropriate humor and her manner of delivery, Maureen's rendition of Benny comes across as particularly funny:

Back-up Maureens: Bi-Di-Bong!"

""You who look down on actors... And who doesn't?"
 * In the original production Maureen kicks off this imitation by donning a pair of sunglasses exactly like the ones Benny has been wearing throughout the first act. Benny's reaction in the "Live on Broadway" DVD is priceless.
 * Say what you will about the movie version of RENT; this troper always laughs hysterically at what he and his friends have christened Mark's "Dork Dance" at the end of La Vie Boheme B. When it goes slow-mo. You'll see what I mean.
 * Young Frankenstein: "Flying down to Rio!?"
 * Also, "What else can go wrong!?" -BANG- "It's MEEEEEEEEEE!"
 * The whole song "An Original Musical" from [title of show].
 * Hell, the entire show is a CMOF.
 * "THAT IS THE NOTE I AM SINGING, JEFF"
 * Anything having to do with Evelyn Nesbit in Ragtime.
 * "Invocation and Instructions to the Audience" from Sondheim's adaptation of The Frogs. Just to give you an idea, the third line is:

""Do not intrude, please, if someone's nude, please, she's there for mood, please, and mustn't be embraced!""
 * And it gets better, with one of the actor's cellphones going off, and later with such lines as:

"Mary: Does my mother have any other family?"
 * In South Pacific, one of the most amazing scenes that had me laughing was when Nellie sang "Honey Bun" which then had Billis come out in a grass skirt, coconut bra, and underwear. Then it gets funnier. In a touching scene, Billis pulls a letter from Emile from the coconut bra.
 * It's even funnier in the Lincoln Center cast - Billis is played by Alec Baldwin, hamming it up like there's no tomorrow.
 * In A Shoggoth on the Roof, the song To Life (wherein Herbert West tries to convince his prospective father-in-law that reviving dead people is "supremely great work"). Especially the dancing zombie chorus.
 * Anything done by the Two Men in Kiss Me, Kate, but especially "Brush Up Your Shakespeare", the last song before the finale.
 * The spanking scene is funny enough, but Lilly/Katherine being unable to ride on a donkey in the next scene because of it takes the cake.
 * The musical version of The Secret Garden after Mary meets her Uncle Archibald, her new guardian:

"File: When I eat/it makes me sleep/and then I start to snore/So I-
 * 110 in the Shade: Lizzie's father an brothers have been trying to convince her love interest to come to a picnic, but it's proving difficult because he doesn't play cards, doesn't dance, and:

The Currys: ... don't go to many picnics."

"I'll paint my lips a rosy red,
 * Audra McDonald (a well-respected African-American stage actress and singer) who played the originally-white Lizzie in the 2007 revival, added another funny moment to the song "Raunchy":

I'll pour peroxide on my hea-- No, I'm not doin' that, no, no."

"Little Sally: What's it like, Officer Lockstock?
 * "Bride's Lament" in The Drowsy Chaperone is Stylistic Suck done hilariously right. Or wrong. Or both.
 * "He was the Allbright Toothpaste man, which was really popular because the main ingredient was cocaine. It was the 5th one down on the list. Right after sugar."
 * "Man of a thousand accents. All of them offensive."
 * "That was pure vodka, you POOP!"
 * Reverted back to "FOOL" in the original script. Georgia Engel said "POOP" instead of "FOOL" because she was so overly religious that it was against her beliefs to use that word.
 * "As we stumble! Bumble! Fumble!... ... ... ...PLUMBLE!
 * "Try not to think of the poodles."
 * "I Am Adolfo!"
 * "I can sing it very fast, 'Adolfo!' I can sing it very slow...ly. I would do it now, but it would take hours."
 * " L-*cane drops* while you can."
 * Urinetown has some brilliantly funny scenes, but some productions play it more seriously than others. This troper was in a particularly ludicrous production, and so has about a thousand examples... not all of which she'll include.
 * The song 'Follow Your Heart,' which is an absolutely spot-on parody of love songs.
 * This exchange:

Lockstock: What's what like?

Little Sally: Urinetown!

Lockstock: Oh, I can't tell you that, Little Sally.

Little Sally: Why not?

Lockstock: Because it's a secret, that's why!Look, its power depends on mystery. I can't just blurt it out like Oh no. The information must ooze out until it breaks forth in one mighty cathartic moment!! ...Somewhere in Act II, with lots of singing and things like that."

"Now, how should a maiden deal with such an one? (refers to book) "Keep no one in unnecessary suspense." Behold, I will not keep you in unnecessary suspense. (refers to book) "In accepting an offer of marriage, do so with apparent hesitation." I take you, but with a certain show of reluctance. (refers to book) "Avoid any appearance of eagerness." Though you will bear in mind that I am far from anxious to do so. (refers to book) "A little show of emotion will not be misplaced!" Pardon this tear! (wipes her eye)"
 * There was a regional production that had a clear parody of Wicked's "Defying Gravity" at the end of "Look at the Sky": Bobby Strong, standing on a higher level than the rest of the cast, brandished a toilet plunger (like Elphaba with her broom) under a bright green spotlight, belting the final note at the top of his lungs.
 * In a high school production this troper was in, after the actor who played Lockstock actually tells Sally what Urinetown is, he takes a moment to realize what he said, then just shrugs it off.
 * In this troper's high school's production, at the end of the first verse of "Follow Your Heart", Hope throws her arms out to the side dramatically, and accidentally launches her purse offstage. Cue a loud thump, and the actor playing Lockstock shouting "OUCH! Dammit!".
 * This troper's university's production had one (along with the deliciously appropriate timing of opening in the middle of a terrible drought) during the Luke, I Am Your Father scene. As it turns out, the performers playing  were black and white, respectively. Cue the rest of the cast just staring at the two in silent bewilderment as they tried to figure out how in the world that could be possible.
 * In the spirit of the low-budget appeal of the show, this troper's director came up with the brilliant idea of having Old Man Strong and Tiny Tom appear clapping chalk-filled blackboard erasers before segueing into their flashback.
 * Yvan's famous monologue in Art, an epic three and a half minute rant about how the minutest of details (the design of a wedding invitation) has blown up into an monumental family feud. Being able to memorise the whole thing doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome for any actor.
 * Every Gilbert and Sullivan show has at least one of these. Take a certain Trope Namer from The Pirates of Penzance, for example - "NO SOUND AT ALL! WE NEVER SPEAK A WORD!"
 * The "little list" in The Mikado.
 * in Ruddigore, Rose checking her "book of etiquette" to find out how she should respond to a marriage proposal (from a complete stranger).

"Winkie Leader: It's based off an old Winkie chant.
 * Seeing the Birds and the Bees talk done entirely through mime in Once Upon a Mattress.
 * In Bye Bye Birdie, when the kids ambush Conrad and Kim at the Ice House, Ursula jumps on Conrad's back and yells "LET'S HAVE AN ORGY!" with a hard G.
 * "You're just like your father...you'd marry anything!"
 * The reprise of You're Lovely from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. Two unattractive old men, one in drag, reenacting the earlier "Falling in Love" Montage down to the tee. This Troper laughed the whole way through. (And the laughs don't let up until the very end, either.)
 * Made even funnier in one performance where the actor playing Pseudolus takes the opportunity to bang his head on a nearby pillar.
 * "One, two, three, LOOK OVER THERE! seven, eight, nine, ten" "What happened to four, five, and six?" "I was getting there! Four, five, six."
 * Even though the play is a tragedy, the entire monologue from The Glass Menagerie that begins "I go to opium dens!"
 * Though it's hard to pick one crowning moment from The Norman Conquests, which sets up Chekhov's Jokes that don't go off until other plays, this troper submits "Norman Dewers: Gigolo! ...and assistant librarian. That's what's inside me. What's inside you, Reg? Besides six bowls of corn flakes?"
 * A great example of the Chekhov's Joke starts in the first play, Table Manners, when Reg being egged by Sarah into spying on Norman and Annie (in the living room, where the second play, Living Together is going on). He can't come up with a good excuse to walk in there, and Sarah suggests he pretend to be retrieving something. He goes off to do it and comes back with a wastepaper basket. Funny. A play later, when Reg walks into the living room, picks up the wastepaper basket, and walks out, nothing said? Hilarious.
 * The dialogue between the Wicked Witch of the West and the Winkie Leader in The Wizard of Oz. It's arguably funnier than anything in the movie.
 * To clarify, IIRC, The Wicked Witch asks the Winkies why they always make a low brooding chant whenever they go anywhere. Don't remember what the Leader said back, but it was still pretty funny and unexpected.
 * I think it went something like this -

Wicked Witch: What was it?

Winkie Leader: It went something like -- *repeats chant of Winkies, heads off-stage*

Wicked Witch: (to the audience)Next time I enslave a race, I'll remember to check their intelligence capacity first."

"Dr. Frank N Furter : (As two men in speedos and a woman in a bikini walk into stage) Two men and a Scientologist, it's perfect. Wait for me in the humvee, would you?"
 * Into the Woods: "I was raised to be charming, not sincere!"
 * "Aaa-gony! Far more painful than yours!" For that matter, "Agony" in general.
 * "Ah, well... back to my wife!"
 * Several productions have a great deal of fun with the moment when the characters get fed up with the Interactive Narrator and pull him into the story to feed him to the giantess. It certainly doesn't hurt that the Narrator inexplicably becomes a bit of a smug bastard right before he notices they're all looking at him. This troper, who played the Narrator, put on my best Oh Crap expression at that moment, and the audience cracked up.
 * Depending on the actress playing Little Red, she can come off as hilarious, especially in the Prologue, when she steals the Baker/Baker's Wife's bread, and her screaming when the Baker takes her cape.
 * And immediately after: "I just wanted to make sure you really loved this cape!"
 * "I was told that giants never strike the same place twice!" It's a funny line by itself, but depending on the production, the look of utter disdain the Witch gives the Baker in response is priceless.
 * Noises Off. Dear God, Noises Off. Just trying to think of a CMOF for this show puts me to tears, its slapstick is quite possible the epitome of Hilarity Ensues. Any other editor wanna try to tackle this one?
 * Nope, it's impossible. The entire show is a Crowning Moment of Funny for the world of theater.
 * We're doing the show right now, and I'm not even sure when the audience will ever stop laughing. A personal favorite of one of the SM's is "Ballcocks governor! Your ballcocks are gone!". Especially when it's said by a little freshman.
 * "I'm just checking a few measurements...I mean going into a few things...doing one or two odd jobs..."
 * Lloyd ripping off Poppy's skirt.
 * The part where Phillip's pants are down while he's trying to explain to Flavia what's going on.
 * The "bedroom scenes" from the Rocky Horror Show. Just Brad's/Janet's reaction to finding they're really having sex with Frank N Furter is pure hilarity.
 * Tim Curry reprising his role as Dr. Frank N Furter for a brief theater skit is both hilarious and pure awesomeness.

"Guil: I'm him, you see.
 * Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead has a ton, most of them playing on the Meta Fiction, such as Ros yelling "FIRE" and wondering why no one's leaving their seats. But the best ones are Guildenstern waxing philosophical, only for Rosencrantz to take his musings completely literally:

Ros: Who am I then?

Guil: You're yourself.

Guil: Death is the ultimate negative. Not-being. You can't not-be on a boat.

Ros: I've frequently not been on boats."

"Lucy: I could be Brett's brand-new girlfriend
 * "How do you get this gold shit off?!"
 * This is all we've got for In the Heights? Seriously? What about the origins of Usnavi's name? Usnavi chasing off Vanessa's aggressive suitors with a price gun? Or just about anything Sonny says ("She was my babysitter first!")?
 * "Does your cousin dance?" "Like a drunk Chita Rivera."
 * Tom Stoppard's plays are very witty and often bawdy as well. "The Fifteen-Minute Hamlet" from Dogg's Hamlet, Cahoot's Macbeth, however, has got to take the cake on hilarity.
 * Thirteen the Musical has several of these. What? Teenagers have a sense of humor, too.
 * Brett walks into the girls bathroom, sees the tampon machine and says "Whoa, you have a candy machine in here".
 * This is a line during the Cut Song opportunity

Kendra: Lucy! Look at Brett

Lucy: I could show him a lot of new tricks

Kendra: He looks like a rainbow full of sad."

"Archie:... and if you cared at all, you'd be going to save him.
 * Also, this exchange between Archie and Patrice

Patrice: I don't care. I'm not going

Archie: Okay

Patrice: I'm not

Archie: I know

Patrice: You know I'm going, don't you?

Archie: Yup

Patrice: I hate you (She runs off to save )"

"George: To be or not to be, that is the question...oh maid! Line. Line! Ohhh. Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave am I. Whether tis nobler in the mind to kill oneself, or not killing oneself, to sleep a great deal."
 * In some shows, Archie would respond "I hate you too"
 * In Legally Blonde The Musical, one of the funniest moments has to be the party scene with Elle in the Playboy Bunny outfit. Now, anyone who's seen the movie will be thinking, Okay, yeah, that was cute, but why is this a crowing moment of funny? Because of a slight change that the script writers included that was absolutely brilliant. After Vivienne tells her to go home and change out of her "skank costume," Elle immediately says that she is not, in fact, dressed as a Playboy Bunny, but instead as Gloria Steinem during her time working as a Bunny to do research for her feminist article "I Was a Playboy Bunny." She then loudly asks if Vivienne's calling Gloria Steinem a skank - cue slightly tipsy Straw Feminist Enid coming in and yelling "Who's calling Gloria Steinem a skank?" before chasing Vivienne off-stage looking ready to tear her hair out and telling Vivienne's boyfriend to get out of the way. Silly? Yes. Hilarious? Also, yes.
 * Also, "There, Right There!". "Is he gay or European?"
 * Promises Promises, especially in the revival. Every time Chuck imagines what Fran is saying to him, then compared to what she's really saying.
 * Also, who could forget: "It's owl".
 * George's Monologue in the middle of Durang's The Actor's Nightmare. Sheer brilliance.

"Captain: You will have to win a duel to the death to get what you wish.
 * Might just be the way you act it, (and forgive if this belongs in Troper Tales) but the second act of BigRiver becomes infinitely funnier depending on the Improv. This troper was lucky enough to be a part of a production with his best friend playing Tom Sawyer and a random guy during the interrogation of the King, and, let's just say...HAM would be a damn understatement. Playing as the real Harvey Wilkes and the Doctor, I couldn't keep a straight face. The random guy persona ended up grabbing me in the Wilkes scene and shook me, yelling "I SAY WE BURN 'EM! YOU LOOK REEL TASTY!", with full Southern accent. Then when the Doctor was supposed to cut the bullet out of Tom's leg...his deliriousness was believable, with such wonderful quotes as "The power of Christmas compels you!"...I daresay the only thing better than the improv off that show was Jim. A junior preacher playing a proud black man? Best. Casting. Evar.
 * At the beginning of Cyrano De Bergerac, a man tries to insult Cyrano, telling him "Sir, your nose is. . .hmm. . .it is. . .very big!", (something that he's very sensitive to). Cyrano calmly responds that it is, but this insult was lousy, and proceeds to tell a Long List of better insults in many different styles. Than fights a duel with him, while improvising a sonnet.
 * Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson has many, but special mention must be made to the 'feelings' scene.
 * Also, anything John Quincy Adams says. Ever.
 * The scene in Woody Allen's Don'tDrinktheWater when Mr. Kilroy gets nailed in the head with a brick and thinks he's the right brothers all punctuated by the final line "Orville, you always were mother's favorite."
 * For those who had the opportunity to watch it, the Brazilian play Hermanoteu Na Terra de Godá (Hermanoteu In The Land of Godá), by comedic group Os Melhores do Mundo (The World's Best), is chockfull of absolutely hilarious moments (They don't call themselves the world's best for nothing). To exemplify some of the jokes that translate well to English...
 * When the titular prophet wannabe arrives in rome, a series of events have him having to fight in the gladiatorial games to get an auction with Julius Caesar. The captain of guard then explains...

Hermanoteu: And... Who do I have to fight?

Captain: You must face... *The captain takes a deep breath* Glandius, the Gladiator of the Grand Gland!


 * Both actors try their best to hold back laughter*

Hermanoteu: C-Come again?

Captain: Don't make me say it again."

"Isaac: *After taking Hermanoteu to the other side of the stage so Cleopatra won't hear them* Listen here, Hermanoteu... Do you intend to take me to dinner?
 * Arriving in Egypt, Hermanoteu meets a long not seen friend, Isaac, who is now working as a soldier for Queen Cleopatra after failing to follow Moses through the parted Red Sea. While Isaac is technically the "Last Jewish in Egypt" that Hermanoteu was sent to free, he likes being a soldier and doesn't want the Queen to find out he was one of the escaped slaves, but Hermanoteu insists in trying to tell her.

Hermanoteu: Uh... No.

Isaac: Buy me some flowers, maybe a box of chocolates?

Hermanoteu: That wasn't in my plans, no.

Isaac: No romantic stroll on the beach or going to catch a movie?

Hermanoteu: Nope. Why-

Isaac: BECAUSE YOU'RE TRYING TO FUCK ME, DUDE!"

"Hermanoteu: So that's all you guys do?
 * Hermanoteu comes across a duo of Visigoth barbarians, who pride themselves on their "Rape and Kill" lifestile.

Fat Visigoth: Of course! At every village we come across!

Thin Visigoth: Just at the last village, we killed all women and raped all goats!

Both Visigoths: *Beat, both look at each other like they forgot something important*

Hermanoteu: Er... Then I don't suppose you'll just let me go?

Thin Visigoth: We either kill or rape!

Fat Visigoth: *Grins menacingly at Hermanoteu* Turn around for a sec...


 * Beat*

Hermanoteu: Sorry, friend, don't take this the hard way, but... We're not even half an hour into the play and you're already the third guy trying to screw me."