Canada's Worst Driver

""Welcome to the country's most disturbing car show."

Andrew Younghusband, opening season 5."

A Canadian Reality Show which focuses on rehabilitating the worst drivers in The Moose And Maple, as nominated by their friends and family members. The object of the show is essentially to learn enough about proper driving in order to "graduate" from rehab, done in the form of different challenges meant to build specific driving skills. The winner (or should we say loser) in the end is crowned the titular "worst driver", and often receives an equally crappy looking trophy.

While the show's goals are serious, a lot of it is mainly Played for Laughs. Yes, there are Asian Drivers. Yes, there are Women Drivers. They're no worse than the other contestants. The show started in September 2005 and is still ongoing, having wrapped up its seventh season in December 2011.

"Paul: (from almost completely level car) How's that?
 * The Alleged Car: Mike from Season 5 bought these exclusively.
 * Over the course, Season 6 managed to turn a nice new 2010 Chevrolet Camaro into one.
 * At least it still runs well.
 * Again, Season 7 with a used Dodge Challenger painted in a Canadian Theme. You can guess what happened to the motif. It got so bad, that they gave it a funeral during the season finale.
 * Asian Drivers: Not that they're any worse than their fellow contestants.
 * Jason, Season 3 winner
 * Emily, Season 4 runner-up
 * Arun, Season 5's last graduate (who is from India, not the far east as per the stereotype)
 * Shelby, Season 3 runner-up might fit also.
 * Backseat Driver: Sometimes this show looks more like Canada's Worst Passenger. This trope goes to its Logical Extreme when said backseat driver grabs for the controls of the car (usually the wheel). Yes, there IS a law against that--specifically, a law that states that when a passenger grabs the wheel, the passenger assumes full responsibility for whatever they make the vehicle do. When the show hires a relationship therapist, this is clearly a serious problem.
 * Badass Biker: Paul from Season 6 and his nominator Tommy are the first to arrive at the rehab center on two, rather than four, wheels. Of course, Paul was sent to the show because he had a fear of driving 4-wheeled automobiles. He was able to quickly overcome his fears of driving, and was the first graduate of the season. Fittingly, he also had the most magnificent facial hair of any contestant too!
 * Badass Driver: Some of the contestants think they're this--which is why they are mentioned under Drives Like Crazy. Some of the judges are this, including:
 * Philippe Létourneau (high performance instructor from season 2 onward), former race car driver and professional diving instructor.
 * Dr. Louisa Gembora (psychologist for seasons 4 and 5), who is a race car driver and psychologist
 * Dr. Lauren Kennedy-Smith (psychologist for season 6), also a psychologist and race car driver
 * Andrew himself might be turning into one after (as of October 2011) 7 seasons of demonstrating challenges.
 * Badass Long Hair: Again, Paul. He had arguably the longest hair of any contestant from any of the seasons.
 * Belief Makes You Stupid: Played with in Season 7. Afiya tried to justify her dangerous habits by saying that angels were protecting her car. This became fodder for some of Andrew's narration, but he and the experts never attacked her faith, instead focusing on the need for her to develop better driving skills and habits.
 * The Big Guy: Former police Sgt. Cam Woolley is a large man. His no-nonsense stare, intolerance of lawbreakers and his position as a former traffic cop make him a guy you don't want to piss off.
 * Paul and Tommy from Season 6 showed another side of this trope when they had troubles fitting in the cars.
 * Blind Without'Em: Some contestants have a condition on their driver's license requiring them to wear adequate corrective lenses (such as glasses or contact lenses). The only time a point is made of this is when the contestant fails to do so--which is worryingly common.
 * Camera Abuse: Cameras are sent flying several times a season. The producers seldom let the resulting footage go unaired.
 * Canada, Eh?: Played straight by Season 7, as most of the challenges are themed around Canada in mostly stereotypical manners. A swerving challenge had a moose as its target, there was a Car Curling game, doughnuts were brought up for the donuts challenge (as in the spinning a car in circles-type of donuts), etc.
 * Captain Crash: The drivers sent to rehab for recklessness or obliviousness tend to be this. A number of them have wrecked so many cars that they've lost count. Andrew will sometimes comment that these drivers are lucky to be alive.
 * Car Meets House: Occasionally played straight by contestants in their past experience. And in Season Four, which was held at a closed jail, there was an onscreen case of Laundry Truck Meets Prison.
 * Dale managed to do this with a garage--specifically, she drove through the door. Not the doorway, the door, which was closed at the time.
 * Casual Danger Dialog: The host at times. "When we come back, Father Giles nearly kills me."
 * Catch Phrase: "Look where you want to go" is perhaps the single most important lesson of the show, and thus is repeated a lot.
 * After demonstrating each challenge (to prove that an average driver can do them), Andrew tells the camera, "now, let's see how Canada's worst drivers do."
 * Censor Box (Parodied): a stop sign appears over the contestants' mouth whenever they swear (along with accompanying bleep). Punk rocker Jakob from Season 5 got an anarchy symbol instead.
 * Cerebus Rollercoaster: The show has a serious point, but most of it's Played for Laughs. And if you think it's really funny--meet Aaron, or rather, what's left of him after a serious car crash. Photos of him in the hospital were in every episode of Season 7.
 * Chronically Crashed Car: Every single car ON the show, and most that the drivers have used as well.
 * Clip Show: Season 3 was accompanied by a clip show detailing the top 101 problems on Canadian roads, as demonstrated by that season's contestants.
 * Clothing Damage: An interesting variation. In Season 6, Lance started out as dapper as could be. At the end, he looked like a slob, wearing a torn wifebeater and some face stubble.
 * Cloudcuckoolander/The Ditz: Some of the contestants are shockingly clueless. These are arguably the scariest type of bad driver.
 * The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes: Dale (Season 6's runner-up) had an extensive history of ignoring traffic rules and bumping things despite her husband being a driving instructor.
 * Completely Missing the Point: While the show's point is making bad drivers better, "Let us graduate and we promise we'll never drive again" was a line often heard on the first season. Not so much later seasons, though.
 * Father Giles in Shopping Cart Hockey--the intent is to teach control while moving fast. Father Giles barely got above 10 km/h.
 * Confession Cam
 * Cool Car: Many challenges (often ones that require the use of speed and control) will often use fancy cars, mainly of the classic variety.
 * This got to the point where people pleaded with the producers to stop using classic cars on the show. So for Season 6, they instead bought a nice shiny new Camaro! You can guess what happened to it.
 * For the 2011 season, they instead bought a used 2009 Dodge Challenger R/T, customized with a Canadian flag paint job to go with the Canada, Eh? theme of the season
 * Decided by One Vote: With only 5 judges, tie-breaking votes happen a lot.
 * Occasionally averted entirely when one candidate does way better than all the rest (and all agree that the candidate should leave), or when only one judge dissents (in Season 5, all judges agreed that Angelina should be the worst driver, save for Cam Woolley who named Mike Butt instead.)
 * Directionless Driver: And it's both genders.
 * Distracted by the Sexy: When Andrew asked one contestant how she passed her driving test (she was, amongst other things, unable to parallel park), her answer? "Flirt!" He really hoped her instructor was watching the show.
 * Downer Ending
 * Donna from Season 4 turned out to have a heart ailment and had to leave the show.
 * Crystal from Season 5 was permitted to leave after her brother-in-law was killed in a driving accident.
 * Drives Like Crazy: Seriously, what part of "Canada's Worst Driver" do you not understand? At least two in every season, and waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy too many to count these days.
 * In the show's opening, there's a car that drives like this. Its license plate reads "XLR8N".
 * In Season 1, Faith Ann Stone was a speed freak who was nominated by 4 people--all acting independantly.
 * In Season 2, Sean's vanity plate literally read "SPEEED". Boy did fellow contestant Michael get some mileage out of that.
 * In Season 3, Thomas Hobbs was an aspiring street racer. Street racing is a criminal offence in Canada.
 * In Season 4--speaking of street races--Ashley and Ken actually got into one on the way to the rehab center! Remember what was said about this being criminal? They nearly got the show shut down.
 * In Season 6, Scott and Dean both drove 50 km/h (30 mph) over the limit and were ordered by the camera crews to stop the trip altogether.
 * In Season 7, Afiya had to pull over for going over 50 km/h over the limit while Jon would have been stopped if there had been a crew member in the car.
 * Driving Stick: Stick shifts are brought frequently. This trope is played as straight as you please every time, with ground gears, burned clutches, and the works.
 * That being said, some drivers have had no problems. The most recent subversion was Badass Biker Paul from Season Six, who completed a challenge involving balancing a stick-shift car on a teeter-totter almost as quickly as Andrew did and with not a lick more damage to the car.

Andrew (narrating): "That" is perfect!"

"Andrew (narrating): For the millionth time, (the words "Real Driver" appear on screen) Angelina is not an actor."
 * On the other hand, everyone else was so bad that five cars brought out for the challenge had the clutches burned out--the last person had to be exempted because they didn't have a sixth!
 * Perhaps this is why there was no manual transmission challenge in Season 7.
 * Drunk Driver: Sadly, some of the contestants have indeed done this.
 * Dude, Not Funny--In-Universe examples:
 * Colin from Season 2 took none of the show seriously. It resulted in him getting expelled, his car towed, and his keys destroyed.
 * Andrew knew about the street race mentioned under Drives Like Crazy, as the drives are always filmed. He was pissed.
 * In Season 6, Scott found his own bad driving amusing. Danny, his nominator and the guy who paid for Scott's insurance, didn't, and his disgust is quite visible. In the second episode, Danny finally got fed up, tore Scott a new one and cancelled the insurance policy. This meant Scott was no longer a valid driver, which caused him to be expelled from the show--the first time that a contestant has been effectively expelled by his own nominator.
 * Later during the same season, Dale's idea of a joke was to attempt to run Andrew over. This got her a real yelling at from Andrew and her nominator, and she unbelievably tried to accuse them of having no sense of humor over the issue (though she later apologized for her actions).
 * A subversion: Crystal stopped finding her own driving habits funny after her brother-in-law Tom Stagno died in a traffic accident.
 * Due to the Dead: The episode in which Crystal learned of her brother-in-law Tom Stagno's death was dedicated to the deceased, and the credits were silent.
 * Dumb Blonde: Just about anyone with fair hair can qualify, but especially Angelina, the Season 5 winner. Dale, from Season 6, thought a sign forbade a U-turn. She was being shown a sign that meant "Tourist Information Ahead", which is a brown sign with a question mark--which she then thought represented a road and the dot at the end the actual information center.
 * Earn Your Happy Ending: Invoked. You have to work at improving to graduate.
 * Early Installment Weirdness: Two things stand out for Season 1: First, it was held during the winter, not the summer. Second, no Cam Woolley, who joined during Season 2 and has been there ever since.
 * Epic Fail:
 * Scott and Dean from Season 6 weren't allowed to finish their drive to the rehab center, which is the very first challenge in the series.
 * Likewise, Afiya from Season 7 sped so much that the cameraman ordered a stop. Not only that, she hit an obstacle even before leaving the parking garage where the drive began. Jon would have been stopped if he had been accompanied by a cameraman (the Corvette he drove to rehab didn't have enough seats to seat a cameraman).
 * Being the first contestant to be kicked off of any Worst Driver show in the world: (Colin from Season Two)
 * Getting kicked off the show -- in the second episode (Scott from Season Six set the record for fastest expulsion.)
 * Getting kicked off the show -- by your own nominator (Scott from Season Six, when his nominator Danny cancelled his insurance.)
 * Angelina from Season 5 failed a staggering 22 out of 23 challenges on her way to "winning" the show. As an indication of just how terrible that is, bear in mind that Colin from Season 2 deliberately tried to fail every challenge during his time on the show... and still managed to pass two challenges prior to getting ejected.
 * The Water Tank Challenge usually floods the interior of the car. Dean from Season Six, however, managed to flood the car's engine with a hard stop after the first straightaway. He didn't even get to the precision driving parts.
 * In some challenges, obstacles are carved and painted styrofoam. On at least two occasions, they've run out of obstacles before the nominees can complete the challenges.
 * "Everybody Laughs" Ending: Father Giles and Guy--his brother and nominator--walked away from the Water Tank Challenge laughing after Father Giles stated he thought he did fairly well.
 * Everything's Better with Llamas: The first "drive to the rehabilitation centre" challenge ever, had a checkpoint at an Alpaca farm.
 * Friend to All Living Things: Lauri from Season 7 ... when its not affecting her performance of course! (She was shown driving with a car filled with additional "passengers", mainly pets.)
 * Ghost Town: Season 3 was held in Edgar, a ghost town in Ontario.
 * Hair-Trigger Temper: Some drivers have absolutely no control over their road rage.
 * Hypocritical Humor: In the first episode of season 5, Father Giles recites a prayer for safe driving that explicitly ends with "so that we may concentrate on the road". Cut to the good father being distracted by a sign indicating the "World's Largest Pumpkin".
 * During  final public drive in the season 7 finale, someone tried to take a picture of the test car with a cell phone camera while driving.
 * Inspirationally Disadvantaged: Aaron from Season 7 is a Type C, as he does have a positive influence on the other nominees. He even Invoked it by refusing to graduate so that his condition (he has to walk with a cane and has difficulty speaking, amongst other things) would continue to remind the other candidates of the dangers of bad driving.  He also subverted it--Aaron was an absolutely terrible driver himself.
 * Karma Houdini: Scott may never face charges for his literally criminal driving. However...
 * Laser-Guided Karma: Scott's insurance was yanked by his roommate, who got fed up with him. And in 2010, he was arrested for drug trafficking.
 * Loophole Abuse: The "Cool Bus", a school bus that was modified to skirt the driving restrictions on standard driver's licenses. Andrew can't believe that taking out most of the seats, painting it so it doesn't look like a school bus (it was painted purple), and altering the sign on it (as demonstrated) is enough that anyone with a standard license can drive it, and it doesn't even have seat belts.
 * Malaproper: Angelina from Season 5 did this a lot. Near the very end of the season, after being repeatedly told that she should never, ever drive again, she repeatedly and angrily told Andrew that "I'm not not driving!"
 * Medal of Dishonor: The title "Canada's Worst Driver" and the crappy trophy the "winner" gets at the end.
 * My God, What Have I Done?: Father Giles, in a panic, hit the throttle instead of the brake, sending the car careening off the course. Upon looking at the results, he stated "What a disaster" in honest dismay.
 * Mike Butt had an even bigger moment of this in the last episode of the season, when he nearly ran over an old lady who was crossing an intersection. It eventually led to him concluding he didn't deserve to drive, and cutting up his licence in front of the experts' panel.
 * Nervous Wreck: These show up a lot. They're as scary as road ragers and ditzes.
 * In Season 6, Lance had a panic attack during the final challenge (drive through Niagra Falls), and was taken away in an ambulance.
 * Non Gameplay Elimination: Four in the past seven seasons:
 * Season 2: Colin Sheppard deliberately performed so poorly in every test that he was expelled from Driver Rehab in the fourth episode. All participants relinquish their car keys upon arrival and are returned when they graduate; Colin's keys were destroyed and his vehicle towed back to his hometown. Host Andrew Younghusband remarked "Let's hope Colin loses his license before his life."
 * Season 4: Donna Hicks was sent home in the fourth episode after exceptionally poor performance coupled with an angina attack. Donna was convinced that she could drive, despite all evidence to the contrary. The province of Ontario reviewed her driver's license after the show; whether or not it was revoked was not stated.
 * Season 5: Crystal Hubley-Fararo left in the fifth episode after learning that her brother-in-law had been killed in a vehicular collision. A video retrospective of the rest of the rehab subjects revealed that they consistently failed to yield, the same behaviour that got Crystal's brother-in-law killed.
 * Season 6: Scott Shurink was expelled in the second episode after revealing on-camera his numerous undocumented vehicular crimes: more than just excessive speeding (which ended his first test in the first episode), he drove while drunk, while suspended, and used his friend's license. Said friend immediately cancelled the vehicle insurance Scott needed to drive, while resident traffic law expert and retired OPP sergeant Cam Wooley contacted the Calgary police with this information.
 * Normal People: Andrew Younghusband says he's an average driver. He may be turning into a subversion, as seven seasons of demonstrating the challenges have honed his driving skills.
 * Not Making This Up Disclaimer: Andrew Younghusband and others insist the drivers really are this bad and are not actors.
 * After Angelina destroys half the obstacles and almost melts the truck's engine on season 5's Eye of the Needle challenge:

"Andrew:...what they don't know is that...other annoying cars will be getting in their way stealing spots, honking horns, and generally carrying on like, well, Americans."
 * Once a Season: Several tasks recur every year:
 * The initial challenge, where the contestants must follow directions to drive themselves to the Rehab Centre (sometimes while running errands too, especially during earlier seasons)
 * The Assessment Course - A grab-bag of obstacles designed to measure how bad the bad drivers really are.
 * Book Ends - The second-last challenge is the 'Mega Challenge': a obstacle course designed to test everything the bad drivers have learned up until this point. It also looks rather a lot like the Assessment Course, with some additions (like the J-Turn and Doughnut Challenge)
 * The "Eye of the Needle" challenge, a slalom course where the contestants must drive through a series of arches at a minimum speed. The aim is to teach the drivers the recurring moral of their story: look where you want to go.
 * Then of course, the infamous Water Tank Challenge, where the contestants must drive a course intended to traversed as smoothly as possible ... since the car they drive it in is rigged with a tank of water that will spill straight onto them through the sunroof!
 * Two episodes occurs where no-one graduates. Of course, no-one ever graduates in the first (according to the rules of the show), but there has always been one other where the judges decide to make everyone stay (sometimes because the graduates don't want to go!) This has resulted in three people being in the final episode of each season.
 * One Judge to Rule Them All: Near the end of season 7, Afiya is unanimously chosen by the experts to graduate, but Andrew is unconvinced. During the narration, Andrew implies that as the host who gives the drivers their licenses back, he might overrule the experts and not give Afiya's license back. Whether or not he has such a power (if he does, he's never used it), he relents and Afiya graduates.
 * Parking Problems: Driving problems, really.
 * Parallel Parking: Goes about as well as you'd expect, especially when the drivers have to parallel park a Winnebago.
 * Shannon from season 2 provided a surprising subversion in a different challenge where she was driving down a narrow dirt road and faced an ambulance, then performed an S-curve to get out of its way. After the challenge was over, she was proud of her S-curve, and then Andrew pointed out that she was actually parallel parking.
 * Point and Laugh Show: To a certain extent, but the point is quite serious: Take bad drivers and make them better.
 * Preacher Man: Father Giles from Season Five is a Roman Catholic priest. He considered his time on the show a spiritual journey as well as a learning opportunity, and was genuinely happy to have gone through all this.
 * Precision F-Strike: Some of Donna's more colorful language in the Season 6 finale was left unbleeped.
 * Prison: Season 4 was held in the Guelph Correctional Center in Ontario (the jail had been closed in 2001). Four drivers who had committed literally criminal driving offenses were locked up for a few hours:
 * Donna, who admitted to driving drunk
 * Teagan, for committing hit and runs
 * Ashley and Ken, for engaging in a street race on the way to the show.
 * Redemption Rejection: Two contestants (Colin from Season 2 and Scott from Season 6) were thrown off the show for not taking things seriously enough and refusing to learn. Colin was the first to be expelled from any Driver Rehabilitation Center in the world.
 * Take a Third Option: Not every episode has ended in graduation.
 * Colin (Season 2) and Scott (Season 6) were expelled from the show (and therefore did not graduate). Scott, as mentioned above, set the record for fastest expulsion: he was thrown off in the second episode.
 * Donna (Season 4) was sent home due to medical reasons.
 * Crystal (Season 5) was sent home out of sympathy after her brother-in-law was killed in a car accident (there was no graduate that episode).
 * If nobody does well enough to graduate, the judges may decide to make everyone stay. This happens once a season, but has itself been subverted twice. In both Seasons 5 and 6, when the contestants were asked if they deserved or wanted to graduate, each one said no. The Season 5 requests was the first time it had happened in any of the Driver Rehabilitation Programs (there are several similar shows in other countries). Both times, their wishes were honoured.
 * In the sixth episode of Season 2, there came about a fourth option: both Sean and Jodi were considered to be fully rehabilitated (Sean of his speed addiction, Jodi of her fear), and both graduated. To be fair, nobody had graduated in Episode 5 (It would have been Sean, had he admitted that slower was safer).
 * Spin-Off: Canadas Worst Handyman, takes much of the same concepts, but applies them to home renovation. It's just as bad.
 * Sure Why Not: Season 5's Mike Butt talked about a driving game called Shopping Cart Hockey, where you pushed a shopping cart with a car. It was used as a challenge. Season 6 had something similar with a soccer ball, and Season 7 used oversized curling rocks.
 * Take That: Andrew has stated that in the show's early seasons, many were nominated out of spite. Things have changed since.
 * In the Season 5 finale, right before Angelina was to go through the Mega-Challenge, there's a pixelated image of the "Start" sign with an image of Angelina slid over it such that the "S" was covered.
 * When introducing the Canada's Worst Parking lot challenge in Season 7, episode 5:


 * Tear Jerker--In-Universe examples: While many contestants break down in tears quite frequently, there are other times when they've been struck by truly tragic events.
 * The death of Crystal's brother-in-law Tom Stagno--in a vehicle accident.
 * For Wil from Season Five it was learning just how verbally abusive he was. Melissa, his nominee, later stated he cried for a quarter of an hour.
 * Aaron, from Season 7, was nearly killed by a distracted driver six years prior to the taping. Every year one of the challenges is a distracted driving course, where the nominees must drive a simple course while distracted (from eating, drinking, smoking, texting, et cetera). The purpose is to show them just how dangerous distracted driving can be. In Season 7, the drivers (excluding Aaron) had to do this course, and after seeing just how bad distractions make them, they had to look Aaron in the eye and promise to never drive distracted again.
 * Tears of Fear: Several drivers are absolutely terrified of driving, to the point where a few broke down and cried.
 * Tears of Joy: Amy-Lee of Season 4, cried with happiness when she became the last graduate.
 * Tempting Fate: Andrew Younghusband has allowed his own vehicle to be used from time to time (for example, Teagan drove it to the rehabilitation center). Subverted in that Fate hasn't shown up to collect...yet.
 * That One Level--again, In-Universe: The most disliked challenge of all is the water tank challenge. You have to skillfully drive a car with a large tank of water (200 liters or about 50 gallons) fastened on top, with pipes that will direct any sloshed water onto the driver. The idea is to drive as smoothly as possible, to avoid getting drenched. It is pretty much impossible to complete the course without getting some water dumped on you--even Andrew always gets some water dumped on him and (I think in season 5) he took a hazard too fast and got drenched.
 * In Season Six, there was a challenge that involved maneuvering a trailer with a boat on it through a narrow laneway of rims and then launching it. Much profanity ensued.
 * That Poor Car: Except we actually see what happens to them.
 * There Should Be a Law: Andrew Younghusband and Cam Woolley have stated that they think it's silly how much a standard driving license covers. Cam Woolley has stated he's amazed that someone can get their driving license in a Smart Car (which is very tiny) and immediately hop into a motorhome several times a Smart Car's length. Note Loophole Abuse above to see what else is legal to drive.
 * Too Dumb to Live: The utterly clueless behaviour of some of the drivers does indeed pose a risk to life and limb.
 * Trans Atlantic Equivalent: The show itself (along with several others) is a spinoff of Britains Worst Driver.
 * Went the other way during the Season 7, Episode 6 opener, when Andrew mentioned the Dutch Equivalent; the host of that show got struck by the car a contestent was driving.
 * Watch the Paint Job: They never do... About the worst example would be the contestants burning out the clutches of five cars. The last contestant was exempted because the producers were out of cars.
 * What an Idiot! (In-Universe): "This guy's an idiot!" said by Cam Wooley about Colin from Season 2. While his remark is based on Colin's driving, the other reasons viewers may agree with Mr. Wooley are under the YMMV tab.
 * Wiper Start:
 * Michael, when trying to start his car to drive to the rehab center in Season 2, popped the hood instead.
 * Also in Season 2, Karen did a literal Wiper Start.
 * One driver (Jason from Season 3?) started Andrew's truck 3 times--though it was already running. Andrew winced every time.
 * Women Drivers: Well, the women on this show qualify. On the other hand, so do the men.
 * Worth It: Many of the graduates have left glad to have been on the show.
 * Your Other Left: Whenever contestants take a challenge together, this trope is on full display.
 * During the 5th season all the drivers were put into the same limo together and had to take turns driving the limo backwards around a course. Advice was shouted and this trope ensued.
 * If you count cases when it's the backseat-driving passenger shouting advice, this happens just about every season.