Beavis and Butthead/Funny

The Original Series
"(B&B are watching a video)
 * From the episode in which Beavis and Butthead learn how to drive:

Butthead: He's flipping him off! Uh-hu-hu-hu-hu-huh!

Coach Buzzcut: SHHUUT UP!!!!!!"

"Coach Buzzcut: If they do laugh, they'll be expelled, and they'll have to go to Hope High School where they'll get their asses kicked on a daily basis by all the other delinquents. Well, I was real glad to hear that, because this is sex education week. That's right, sex-ed week! We're gonna be talkin' about the PENIS! We'll be talkin' about the VAGINA! Do you think that's funny, Butt-head? Do you find it amusing that we'll be talkin' about the TESTICLES? Yes, we're also gonna be talkin' about VENEREAL DISEASE! SEXUAL INTERCOURSE! THE SCROTUM, THE CLITORIS! And we will definitely be spending a lot of time talking about MASTURBATION!"
 * There is the duo practicing mud wrestling by forming a mud pit in their front yard, putting on bikini tops, and beating each other with baseball bats that have a boxing glove on the end.
 * Daria sees them covered in dripping mud, and they start chanting "Dia-REEA, cha cha cha!" Not knowing her name was Daria made it that much funnier for this troper.
 * The part on "Prank Calls" where Harry Sachs thinks Stewart's dad is the one making crank calls to him and beats him up, culminating to sticking his phone "where [he'll] have an awful hard time dialin' it!"
 * "I AM STYRCULIUS! The Roman god of feces! Prepare to feel my wrath!" (squish-splat)
 * In the A Christmas Carol-parody episode, when Beavis is shown a tombstone inscribed with "Here lies Beavis. He never scored." ("GOD DAMN IT, BEAVIS! YOU SPENT ALL YOUR TIME WATCHING PORNO! AND BECAUSE OF THAT, YOU NEVER SCORED!")
 * Also, there is the infamous deleted scene from the movie, in which Beavis steals the Declaration of Independence to use as toilet paper.
 * Just TRY watching THIS clip without laughing. I dare you.
 * In the end of "Nosebleed", when Butt-Head goes up to a convenience store and asks a woman going out: "Can I have one of those things that you put in your thing when you get your thing?" *gets punched*
 * Hell, the entire "Nosebleed" episode could go here.
 * Of particular note was the scene where Butt-Head was treating the nosebleed like a sore tooth. All the viewer sees is from Beavis' perspective, where Butt-Head had tied a string from something on Beavis' face to the doorknob. Cue his slamming the door and Beavis sinking to the floor as his vision washes over red.
 * Coach Buzzcut: Shut up or I will kill you! Do you understand? Shut up or I will physically kill you!
 * The entirety of the episode "No Laughing", especially when they come running out of the school and release all their pent-up laughter due to Coach Buzzcut taking full advantage of the situation:

"Spanish teacher: Señor Butt-head, como es Juan?
 * And also from "No Laughing"..

Butt-Head: Uhmmm....burritos?

Spanish Teacher: No no no, Como es juan? Como es juan?

Butt-Head: Uhmmm...Guacamole.

Spanish Teacher: No no no, señor Beavis, Como es juan?

Beavis: Uhhh....Spaghetti.

Butt-Head: Spaghetti?

Spanish Teacher: (Dropping the Spanish accent) Spaghetti!? That's Italian, you moron! (Tosses poster in frustration) Damn it! You idiots have been in this class for almost a whole school year, and the only Spanish you know is what you learned from Taco Bell! And Beavis can't even get that right! I'm gonna give you little bastards just ten seconds to come up with a sentence in Spanish and if you can't, you're both going to the principal's office and you're both flunking! Well, I'm waiting.

Butt-Head: Uhhh... ("Spanish" gibberish) Rico Suave.

Spanish Teacher: Principal's office, now!

Beavis: Uhhh...Taco Supreme.

Spanish Teacher: Get out, now!"

"McVicker: Mr. Sherman, your history teacher. He says he's completely giving up on trying to teach your class about The Gay Nineties. (Beavis & Butt-Head laugh harder.)"
 * This line.

"Stewart's Mom: My poor Stewart! What could have happened to him?
 * You said "harder."
 * "Stewart Is Missing". To really appreciate how funny this one is, understand that Beavis says the first part of the line enthusiastically, and then asks "what's the matter" with genuine concern in his voice.

Beavis: Maybe somebody killed him and buried him in a shallow grave... errr...what's the matter?"

"Beavis: IT TURNED YELLOW! AAAAAAHHHH, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
 * "Woodshop": Beavis and a circular saw. Guess what happens?
 * And Beavis is laughing the entire time. while bleeding to death.
 * Anything featuring Beavis as The Great Cornholio.
 * "Plate Frisbee": "Uh-oh! Looks like I'm gonna crash! ....Yup!". Such a shame that the version of this episode on the Mike Judge collection DVDs cuts this scene out.
 * Butt-Head riffing to Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" while whacking himself on the head with said plate.
 * Beavis using a Chainsaw Good to try to kill a fly in "Die Fly, Die!" And that's just one idea they had.
 * "Pregnant Pause" manages to build an entire short's worth of laughs out of Beavis mistakenly thinking he's pregnant, particularly when he overhears two women chatting in a store about symptoms, etc. and finds they all somehow apply to him. With old-fashioned "dun-dun-DUNNNN" music underscoring each "revelation" to boot.
 * The look on Beavis' face when the pregnancy test tested "positive".

"Not Barney: "Aah! I'm burning! Kids help, this sucks!
 * The first Christmas special, in which the boys alternate between watching a televised Yule log and watching music videos that fit the theme, has a great segment in which they recount the plot of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory in their own unique way (accidentally crossing it over with The Wizard of Oz and ET the Extraterrestrial for starters).
 * While watching TV, a duet between Elton John and RuPaul comes on, which prompts Butt-Head to say "That's that dude who'd, like, rather be a girl." Barely missing a beat, Beavis follows up with "What's that chick doing with him?"
 * Beavis' critique on Korn's "Blind" should be heard to be fully appreciated.
 * Bow-ba-bow-ba-bow-ba-bow-bow-bow ba-ba-ba-ba-bow-bow-bow-bow
 * In the Big Damn Movie, after being repeatedly told to "show us the unit," Beavis snaps out of his Cornholio persona just long enough to ask, "Why does everybody wanna see my schlong?" before picking up right where he left off.
 * While watching a Frank Zappa video, they hate it so they change the channel. On the new channel, they come across a video for "Animals" by The Europeans that they hate so much, they go back to the Zappa video.
 * On the episode, "Tornado", at the beginning of the episode, watch the Barney Captain Ersatz from 0:30. Double points for the kids cheering.

Butt-head: "Cool!"

Beavis: "Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!"

"Beavis: "Damn it, Mcvicker! Quit screwing around! Heh n heh. 'Cuz I'll take you out back, and I'll kick your ass if you don't shape up!"
 * Beavis is already pretty funny. But some of the show's most hilarious moments come from putting him in a position of authority. Take "Huh, huh, humbug" for example:

McVicker: "Uuuuuh uh, but I wasn't doing anything!"

Beavis: "Yeah!? Yeah?! Well I don't care! 'Cuz "not doing anything" doesn't pay the bills! Bunghole!""

"Beavis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know it's like, we'd all like to go home! Hell I'd like to go home and spank my monkey! In fact, hehn, that's a pretty good idea! And since I'm the manager, I can do whatever I want! And you guys have to stay here and work all night!"
 * And later

""Beavis: All right men, the way I see it, we strike at dawn. 'Cuz um, they'll still be in bed with morning wood. And I want full air support! I want you guys to shoot people! And I want tanks, some firethrowers and I want explosions over here and I want planes going "kehkehkehkehkeh"! Yaaaaaah! This is gonna be cool!""
 * And again in "The Future Of Beavis and Butt-head", where he's imagining himself in the military.


 * In "Patients Patients", Beavis with glasses.
 * Beavis "The Scatman."
 * The commentary for Iggy Pop's "Butt Town", particularly Beavis pointing out that Iggy should get together with Sir Mix-A-Lot (he of "Baby Got Back" infamy) and "just talk about butts all day."
 * Beavis and Butt-head staring silently in horror and disgust when watching the music video for Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" before changing the channel. They had the same reaction to Milli Vanilli's "Baby Don't Forget My Number."

-

The Revival
Werewolves of Highland/Crying "JWoww: When I'm eighty years old, and I'm teaching my kids how to make pizza, and they ask me "Oh, where did you make pizza?" (Clap) "Bitch, I made it it Florence! That where I made pizza!"
 * The very first video snarked on during the revival (the music video for the MGMT song "Kids") featured Beavis doing his infamous "Fire!" bit. After the outrage from the Moral Guardians during the series' original run over Beavis' obsession with fire, it was hilarious -- and damned satisfying -- to see Mike Judge fire that gag off almost right off the bat.
 * "You're moved."
 * "It's okay to be touched, Beavis."
 * "Okay son, there's gonna be some scary monsters, and a bunch of creepy people putting their hands on you. But you can handle it, because you're like...1 and 1/2!"
 * "He's like, 'Never should have sent that kid to Hogwarts.'"
 * "I told my niece that we couldn't see The Smurfs again, so like, she started warping space and time."
 * As you can see from Beavis and Butt-head's comments while watching a clip of Jersey Shore, their snarky comments during videos (and, now, MTV original series) are just witty and hilarious as ever:

Beavis: So she's gonna call her grandkids "Bitch"?

Butt-Head: You're the best grandma ever, Grandma JWoww.

Beavis: Yeah, please don't hit us again.

Beavis: Are Uncle Juice-head and Grandpa Gorilla gonna help us make pizza?

Butt-Head: Grandma JWoww, where did you get syphilis?

Beavis: Yeah, tell us that story, bitch!"

"Butt-Head: Well, this isn't very good.
 * Beavis and Butt-Head watching Twilight in the theater.

Beavis: So uh, is Bella a zombie? She's always just standing there with her mouth open and she acts like she's dead."

"Vinny: She loves hot salami! She loves hot salami!
 * Butt-Head: "I will fight for you until your heart stops beating...Can I have some of your popcorn?"
 * Beavis trying to throw in a "vampire accent" in his lines such as "I will be a denizen of the night.", "And soon, they will do our bidding.", and "I am willing them this way."
 * And the ending, with the nurse being reluctant to change their catheters because, even though they're comatose, she swears they giggle whenever she's about to.
 * Porn porn porn porn (x) porn porn...
 * Pornography? What the heck is that? the study of porn? maybe he's a pornologist.
 * Attention, everybody: Beavis was crying.
 * Butt-Head's utter persistence in reminding Beavis that he was crying. Even after 80 years.
 * Beavis and Butt-Head laugh at almost anything that sounds like reproductive organs, but it's hilarious to see that even they roll their eyes when the Jersey Shore cast makes a not so subtle sex joke.

Beavis: (Not impressed) Oh yeah yeah, "she loves hot salami". See, he means schlong.

Butt-Head: (Italian accent) You think she-a slut? That's good to know, now let's get back to making-a pizza."

""AAWHOOO-*COUGH* *COUGH* *COUGH*""
 * Beavis' constant attempts at howling like a wolf only to start coughing.

Daughter's Hand/Tech Support "Butt-head: This chick is a horrible actor.
 * The confusion of what "daughter's hand" means.
 * "Jesus said she could do better."
 * "Keep your hands...to yourself." "Uh, oh yeah. The answer was always with us."
 * The Continuity Nod at the end of Tech Support: the two thieves that stole their TV set to kickstart the Big Damn Movie's plotline off make an appearance to loot the Tech Support building.
 * Beavis and Butt-head on 16 and Pregnant:

Beavis: Yeah. Yeah. Really.

(Few seconds and some 16 and Pregnant dialogue later)

Butt-head: Uh, wait a minute. I think this is real.

Beavis: Oh yeah yeah. So, um, she's not a bad actor then. Just a bad person."

"Caller: Just tell me. How do you turn off the freakin' auto complete feature because every time I try to sign under the freakin' internet--!
 * Beavis and Butt-head unwittingly working as Tech Support is as hilarious as expected.

Beavis: Do you have any matches?

Caller: Uh...?

Beavis: Try setting it on FFFIRE!

Caller: What the--!? I want your name. Right now.

Beavis: My name is Hameed.

Caller: SPELL THAT!

Beavis: Um, uh, okay. Haa. Meed."

"Jamid: Hello, sir. Um, did you try to unplug your, um...I mean, do you have any matches? That would be cool. Eheh. Eheheh."
 * Jamid's attempts at emulating Beavis and Butt-head after his boss told him to follow what they're doing. His accent is what sells it.

"Beavis: My name is Ha-meed. I am Chiney."
 * This line got me laughing like crazy.


 * "Uh huh huh huh, Toots". "Uh huh huh huh, Squatch".
 * While they riff on Kate Perry's "Firework", Butt-Head insists that Beavis's "not a firework", and he pisses off Beavis enough to get kicked in the nuts. The reaction sells it.
 * Beavis: "I AM a firework. I'm an M80."

Holy Cornholio "Cult Member: Why does he refer to himself as both "Cornholio" and the "Almighty Bunghole"?
 * The cult trying their best to analyze and interpret the Great Cornholio's "words of wisdom".

Cult Leader: It is the duality of nature that only the Beloved can fully understand.

Cornholio: YOU ARE ALL BUNGHOLES! Each and every one of you! Yeah. And now I must go. For I am the Great Cornholio. I need TP for my bunghole."

"Beavis: (spits out soda) "You can get a loan for big boobs?! I'm gonna take out a loan, to get a bigger schlong!""
 * "Is this Real Housewives of Detroit?"
 * "I think the chick in the back is dancing to another song."
 * Beavis and Butthead's 'dancing' to the chorus.
 * "I just got my loan for a breast augmentation."

": Conception; Doesn't that mean something with sex?
 * At the very end:

Cult Member: Yes.



":"
 * Then later:

"Beavis: Is that like, "choking your chicken"? Hmm-hmm-hmm.
 * And there's just the fact that Beavis and Butt-Head
 * So what does Cage the Elephant mean?

Butt-head: Beavis, you think everything means that. But in this case, it does."


 * "Now I know the baby is bumming you out. Don't worry, I'll get rid of her"

Drones "Beavis: I know Daria killed herself, I remember that.
 * As Beavis tries to remember which student committed suicide shortly before a counselor came to their school, a long awaited reference finally pops up in the most amusing way possible.

Butt-Head: Uh, she didn't kill herself. She just moved away."

"Beavis: I think this is Grand Theft Auto San Andreas but with airplanes."
 * Pretty much most of the moments Beavis and Butt-Head mistaken the drone controls for video games.

"Butt-head: Damn it, Beavis! You've watched three season of this show and you've learned nothing. What a waste of time."
 * Butt-Head: Hey Beavis, check it out. I'm fantasizing about your mom.
 * "Guidos, Juiceheads, Gorillas, oh my!"
 * Beavis trying to figure out the difference between the three.

"Beavis: No no no, that's okay. Just tear it down and build a new one. Reeeeal slooow.
 * "And her Ronald Macdonald socks." "No Butt-Head, you're thinking of the Hamburglar."
 * "Tune in next week...will Snooki poop?" "And if so, where?"
 * While watching Benny Benassi's video for "Satisfaction":

Butt-Head: I'd like to be under her boobs during an earthquake though."

"Goth: My cake! I can't marry you without my cake!
 * The scene in which a wedding is interrupted by the drone flying low - a gothic-looking fellow is set to marry a girl, with her parents looking on nervously as if they don't want it to happen. The plane flies low and takes out one of the canopy legs, causing it to fall to one side, crushing the cake in the process.

Girl's mother*obviously relieved*: Thank God!"

Supersize Me/Bathroom Break "Beavis: You know, I don't see the problem with teen obesity.
 * Burger World's HQ sees the duo's "documentary" and decide to send them to another fast food joint (Taco Yummo), with unlimited gift cards. When Taco Yummo's HQ sees it, the short ends with them preparing to send them to Weiner Shack (with unlimited gift cards).

Butt-Head: Teen obesity kicks ass."

"Beavis: I have a checklist too, heh-heh. She has to at least have one boob, and she has to be a girl, and she can't be my mom.
 * The end of "Bathroom Break." The manager needs to use the restroom, but Beavis and Butt-Head are abusing their bathroom break, so a long line is formed. He decides to go in a bush, and gets arrested for public urination, and, when forgetting to zip up, indecent exposure.
 * (in Italian accent) I have match for you: you and this mop. Go on date with floor.

Butt-head: I have the same list, but it, like, includes your mom. Huh-huh."

"Butt-head: "And then for the first verse, I was thinking of this: 'Ueeeeoueeeeeuuuugh!'"
 * The duo amazed by (a guy who looks like) Jesus able to speak Spanish.

Beavis: "And then for the chorus, maybe: 'RAAAAAAGH~!'""

The Rat/Spill "Beavis: That son of a bitch ate our nachos!
 * The montage of the boys trying to set the trap up.
 * On that note, how the hell did Beavis manage to get it stuck on his ear?
 * Their declaration to kill the rat:

Butt-Head: That's right, Beavis. And that is a crime for which it must be punished.

Beavis: Yeah! To DEATH!"


 * Beavis: "Why did I come in here again? Ooh, nachos." *snap* "AAAH! Dammit!"
 * The reveal of the rat being female.
 * Butt-Head: "Maybe if he'd go buy something, instead of monkeying around on the escalator, the economy wouldn't suck!"
 * "Filthy chicks."
 * Jersey Shore:
 * Beavis: "Phenomenon, trainwreck, I get those two confused too."
 * Butt-Head: "All the guys in the house know what they're doing to her body."
 * Butt-Head: "You're making a difference...in my pants."
 * "Hey Beavis, you better lay low for a while."

Doomsday/Dumb Design "Butt-Head: "This is Stewart's grandma's ashes"
 * This bit of dialogue:

Beavis: "Ew she put her cigarettes out in a vase? That's disgusting.""

"Beavis: Yeah, it would be two sequels with one movie."
 * Sex and the City 3: Human Centipede


 * "You're going to Hell!"
 * Beavis saying "The charred walls of the damned!"

Copy Machine/Holding
 * The bit about foot fetish dude working at airport security.
 * "Oh so that's what he does. He just goes to Red Robin and growls."
 * The fact that NOBODY seemed concerned about Beavis.
 * The whole "masturbation experiment" bit, especially Butt-Head's crack about the "stimulus package."
 * The One Dialogue, Two Conversations (The boys think it's about sex; the girls drugs).
 * Uh-huh-huh-huh. The moon.

Used Car/Bounty Hunters "Butt-Head:"Oh, they're all guidos. They all taste like spray tan.
 * Beavis: This is the one girl who deserves to be emo.
 * Jersey Shore

Beavis:Too much gristle."


 * The boys thinking EVERYONE-including President Obama and the Volunteers of the Week-are criminals.

Time Machine/Massage "Beavis: I hope we get to see some dinosaurs.
 * While at a colonial village, we get this gem.

Butt-Head: You dumbass, dinosaurs haven't been invented yet."


 * Butt-Head: Time-space condominium.
 * The Jersey Shore bit was the part in the Comic-Con trailer; hilarious.

School Test/Snitchers
 * Butt-Head: "I just got something...No. 2 pencil."
 * The fact that the boys only accomplish putting their names on their test papers after three hours, triggering McVicker to fill in answers on Butt-head's paper himself. What makes the scene funnier is Van Driessen's nearly deadpan response to McVicker cheating for Butt-head, complete with his obligatory "mmkay".
 * Butt-Head: "Woah, you have tight jeans and Converse All-Stars just like me. Do you like shoving little kids? I do too! Let's start a band."
 * The boys mocking Small-boobed girl's fiance.

Whorehouse/Going Down
 * The boys mistaking the abortion clinic for a whorehouse.