Extreme Omnivore/Quotes

"Schlock: I'm an amorph. Dinner isn't coming back up unless it can fight its way back up. Smutto is just corn and soy, it'll stay down.

Ebbirnoth: It's not just corn and soy. It's also a bacteria colony fighting off a fungal infection. Smutto is a little of germ warfare disguised as a side dish.

Schlock: Okay, sure. But the last time I had to spit something out it was an infection of nanobots. The Smutto I dropped down the hole is way out of its league.

Ebbirnoth: You can eat anything, then?

Schlock: Amorphs are weird that way."

- Schlock Mercenary, August 10, 2008

"Kathryn: You eat your enemies as a fallback option?

Schlock: No. I eat my enemies when they are delicious."

- Schlock Mercenary, January 7, 2011

"Bunny: Sergeant, did you just drink medicine out of a bottle you found on the ground?

Schlock: Yes.

Bunny: I...I...

(beat)

Bunny: Okay, I guess I can't see how that could possibly be more dangerous than swallowing two armed men whole. As you were.

Schlock: And you humans call yourselves omnivores."

- Schlock Mercenary, February 26, 2011

"Schlock: PX guy wanted proof I needed all that food. Went on a binge then an' there.

Legs: That's never made you sick before. How much did you eat?

Schlock: Four bottles.

Legs: That's not very

Schlock: ...of concentrated solvent.

Legs: Perhaps you need to be a little more discriminating when you binge."

- Schlock Mercenary, March 10, 2008

"Tagon: Headcount! There were three goons! Three! Where's the third one?

Schlock: Yum?

Narrator: Food that talks is not food, but the goon never said anything, so its okay, right?"

- Schlock Mercenary, March 7, 2004