Malevolent Architecture/Quotes

""This is a temple dedicated to evil. It's built on a desecrated burial ground where other more ancient desecrated burial grounds went when they got evil built over them. The architect was a Necromancer and the contractors were in the Eldritch Mafia.""

- Drizz'l, Eight Bit Theater

"White Mage: What I want to know is this: HOW did you get us lost?

Black Belt: Look. This isn't as easy as I make it look, y'know. It's not like this is some ordinary run-down castle. This is the Temple of Fiends! FIENDS, I say! Do you have any idea what that does to a place? Hm? Do you? This is architecture of insanity. The towers of madness! So excuse me if we have trouble navigating through the abnormal psychology imbued within these walls.

White Mage: "Abnormal psychology"? "Architecture of insanity?" What are you babbling about? This castle isn't some twisted experiment in non-euclidean geometry! It wasn't erected by demons of madness and it's not built on purely theoretical Escher-teric physics. It's a straight run! A blind, mentally deficient monkey could've found his way!

Black Belt: These monkeys of which you speak. Are they mentally deficient by human standards or by monkey standards? Because that could really make a difference, if ya think about it."

- Eight Bit Theater

""So, this must be Garland's haunted mansion... Talk about bad taste in interior decorating.""

- Zidane, Final Fantasy IX

""God, who designed this room, M.C. Escher? ...Why is there a ladder here if it doesn't go anywhere? I don't know... a scientist's job is to try to make sense of the world around him, but this whole building is crazy. Blocked exits. Gordian Knot airducts. A giant box-smashing room. It doesn't add up! The only time I feel like I know what I'm doing is when I'm shooting or breaking things...""

- Gordon Freeman, Freemans Mind

"YES! GIVE ME MORE HAZARDS! I JUST CAN'T HAVE ENOUGH!"

- Gordon Freeman again, Freemans Mind

"A schedule for the Derailed Express. Huh. It's scheduled to derail at 4:15. Weird."

- Wario Land Shake It, description for the Derailed Express Timetable

""I don't believe in a standing army. I believe in cruel and unusual architecture.""

- Dwarf Fortress player Pickled Tink, on the forums

"Sweet Bro: FUCK IM FALLING DOWN ALL THESE STAIRS...................

Hella Jeff: I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!!!! I TOLD YOU DOG!

Sweet Bro: IT KEEPS HAPPENING

Hella Jeff: I TOLD YOU MAN I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAIRS!"

- Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, extolling the inherent evil of stairs