Kagami Hiiragi Snuggling After Sex



"Because sometimes, cross-line reading doesn't produce good results."

- Glenn Magus Harvey

"Welcome to the Onion house. Everything's weird here."

It started off like any other thread in the It Just Bugs Me (old name for Headscratchers) subforum. Glenn Magus Harvey created a thread with the title Kagami Hiiragi Snuggling After Sex. In reality, it was meant to discuss topic titles on the forum flowing together, but it was almost instantly derailed (after a brief period of confusion) to other, far more interesting topics, such as Lucky Star, Buddhist Catholicism, and more Lucky Star.

But then, everything changed on post 251, when Tsukasa Hiiragi entered the topic in person. Feelings of guilt and Perverse Sexual Lust swept through the posters, and so began a downward spiral that culminated in the arrival of Konata, Kagami, and Tsukasa's nervous breakdown, along with guest star Rin Kokonoe (of Kodomo no Jikan fame), who is in part responsible for egging half of everything on.

So began an epic tale of sisterly love, drama, laughter, axes, and more sockpuppets than you could shake a marionette at.

The thread has since been deleted, barely a week after its creation. Fortunately, User:Don Zabu saved almost the entire thing. It can be downloaded here. An online html archive has been uploaded HERE.

A new thread, "Kagami Hiiragi snuggling with onions" was later made in a more appropriate subforum. This new thread has lasted for months, currently (as of May 2011) has over 100,000 posts, and has seen the original sequence of strange events, loli onion-snuggling, and random insanity resolve into something with at least a resemblance of a cohesive plot. To simplify: Kagami, Tsukasa, and the Onions house are revealed to be multiversal focal points, unintentionally drawing characters from different anime and video game franchises to themselves. Along with these characters come Cosmic Horror Narrators, weird monsters, lots of shapeshifting, lots of Yuri, squids, conspiracies, desserts, rivalries, and an elite team of Ninja Repairmen. It Makes Just as Much Sense in Context.

The original thread provides examples of:
"INUH: Godd amn adsfawjeknasdfajlwkeriawehrsoifasiojbfedfaadsfjnkaewmriaweurh!!!!!!! ARGH!"
 * A Death in the Limelight:  appears for a few seconds and attracts the attention of many before being quickly killed off for distracting   minions.
 * And There Was Much Rejoicing: Some tropers were happy when the thread finally got deleted.
 * Angrish: Metalhead467 and INUH, after accusations of Foe Yay.

"Kagami: "I in no way saw any of this coming and am completely and utterly shocked by this turn of events.""
 * Anti-Villain: Suicide Squidward. He appeared to kidnap Ben and kills himself inmediatly. In Sherlok's words: "i never cen a dumer villin"
 * Anything That Moves: The Yamada sockpuppet.
 * Arc Words: Fetishes Mk II
 * Axe Crazy: Metalhead467. Literally.
 * Beware the Cute Ones: Rin Kokonoe has a...dark side.
 * Big No: Often used by INUH.
 * Black Sheep Hit: GMH intended it to be yet another semi-throwaway IJBM thread. As it derailed, onto lolicon, cutie-breaking, and role-playing, he desperately tried to re-rail the thread. As of post #1000, noting his fruitless efforts, and he disclaims any responsibility for the content of this thread, despite being its creator.
 * Bodyguard Crush: INUH, for Tsukasa.
 * Break the Cutie: The focus of the first arc, to Tsukasa.
 * User:Marioguy 128 unintentionally did this to Miyuki when he was trying to do this to Tsukasa instead.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: Hiyori claims that she can lose so much blood because she's an anime character. Kagami thinks she's delirious from blood loss.
 * Cerebus Syndrome/Mood Whiplash: The Nice Pete Arc, in which Nice Pete showed up, kidnapped, and nearly murdered Chiyo and Land Of Gold before drowning in his own van. Yomi was said to have been killed by Nice Pete also, but she showed up later completely unscathed.
 * The Chew Toy: Metalhead467 had shades of this.
 * Children Are Innocent: Inverted. Rin Kokonoe anyone? Pyrololi's not exactly innocent either.
 * Creator Regular Appearances: Commander Jay, who created Sherlok Holms in the first place.
 * Continuity Nod: On page 202, DYRE, after noticing Miyuki, asked a question INUH brought up all the way back on page 12, post 286.
 * Corner of Woe: Practically Metalhead467's second home.
 * Crazy Prepared: DYRE claimed to save every page in case of deletion. DonZabu later showed up with a more complete archive.
 * Deadpan Snarker:

"INUH: Tsukasa: How can you feel sorry for him? How are you that nice?"
 * Death by Cameo: Sherlock Holmes, after Light showed up to kill Sherlok Holms
 * Shinji, also killed by Light.
 * Driven to Suicide: Metalhead467 was driven, but was unable to follow through.
 * Drowning My Sorrows: Subverted by Tomo. Her initial response to Tomoyo and Itsuki--her "hazubandos"--turning her down for a date was to go search for a bottle of bourbon. As it turned out, this was not so.
 * Enfant Terrible: Rin stabbed Metalhead with scissors and threw him down a flight of stairs.
 * Evil Laugh: Page 32, post 797.
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Oddly, even after the thread derailed, the topic actually occurred.
 * Fish Out of Water: Sherlok Holms and Ben.
 * Flat What: Happened quite often. It was practically the default reaction upon first locating the thread.
 * Foe Yay: Discussed between INUH and Metalhead. They weren't fans of the idea.
 * Foreshadowing: On the very first page!
 * Gayngst: Yomi.
 * Intentionally Awkward Title
 * Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Konata and Kagami insisted that Rin, Koizumi, and Yotsuba&! are fictional.
 * Loads and Loads of Characters: Try listing them all.
 * Love Dodecahedron
 * Madness Mantra: imnotjealousimhappyforyou
 * "iwillnotgoyandere"
 * "givememyaxeback"
 * "shesnotdead"
 * "whydidthethreadhavetodie"
 * Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Lucky Star, Kodomo No Jikan, Sherlok Holms, B Gata H Kei, Azumanga Daioh, Clannad, Haruhi Suzumiya, Blame, Death Note, Achewood, even The Beach Boys.
 * The Messiah: Tsukasa loves everyone!

""I'll say that I put that thread train on a certain rail, and not only did it insistently derail, much to my chagrin, it went several hundred miles away by traveling through another plane of existence, and then created its own rail."
 * Mind Screw
 * Morality Chain: The Hiiragis may have been acting as this toward the entire thread.
 * Rika played this role to Rin, even getting her to apologize for trying to kill Metalhead.
 * Pair the Spares: Yomi and
 * Puppy Love: Rin has given up on Aoki in favor of Kuro. And just about every other female that walks in, to the frustration of Kuro.
 * Put on a Bus: Around 30 or so sockpuppets from various shows will not be returning.
 * Off the Rails: In the words of the thread's original author:

"INUH: -steps between Metalhead and Tsukasa-
 * OT 3: Kagami/Tsukasa/Konata, apparently.
 * Overly Long Gag: GMH's repeated but fruitless attempts at getting Rin to stop her totally creepy behavior, ending with a series of attempts involving throwing a boot at Rin's head, in reference to a famous skit by The Frantics.
 * Running Gag:

Various People: Why are people still posting in this thread?"


 * Send in the Clones: There were three Rena sockpuppets in the thread,
 * Shipper(s) On Deck: User:Meophist, User:Midnight Velvet and User:Sunset Sempiternum (shipping... Just guess....)
 * Sock Puppet: Practically the thread's signature trope.
 * Spot the Imposter: A fake Tsukasa showed up and was spotted immediately because of the order of her name and her smaller avatar. Oddly, she never actually said anything but "..."
 * Stylistic Suck: Sherlok Holms, Ben, WALLAS, and Tomo.
 * Talking the Monster to Death: Just as the thread was about to spiral into a massive orgy from which it might never return, Metalhead overcame his mental trauma to deliver a rousing speech about the slippery slope they were about to tumble down. It worked...sort of.
 * Tempting Fate: Metalhead, DYRE, and INUH separately insisted in two separate threads that this was not a sex thread, and that no sex had actually occured. Moments later, it nearly devolved into an orgy.
 * The Artifact: Kagami and Tsukasa don't show up very much anymore.
 * Troll: A few characters.
 * Twincest: Tsukasa and Kagami
 * Unresolved Sexual Tension: Basically the point of the RP.
 * Yandere: Metalhead467 was this towards Kagami, but he was not very good at it.
 * Yuri Fangirl: The thread seemed to be literally physically dangerous for them.

The new thread provides examples of:

 * Aborted Arc: Project Forzare from the looks of things.
 * Ultros ended up split into a "good" wimpy half and an "evil" half, the evil half was left at the bottom of the sea, chained up in a coffin. Apparently this resolved offscreen as next time Ultros showed up, he was his old pervy self.
 * Accidental Lolicon: INUH. And lately, Tachikaze.
 * A Girl and Her Behemoth turned Fox-girl: Nuku-Nuku and "Pinky".
 * The Alcoholic: INUH and Tachi seem to drift in and out of this.
 * Axe Crazy: Hiyori briefly becomes this after Tsukasa develops a crush on Kamina.
 * Arc Words: "I-is it safe to come out now?"
 * Berserk Button: Do not make fun of Sherlok's grammar while Ben is around.He doesn't like it. For the record,[[media:ben1559.jpg|this]] was the avatar used while talking in Evil Text.
 * Also, don't insult Blastia when Rita's around.
 * In matter of fact, Do not upset or hurt Fuuko.
 * Or Tsukasa. Or Konata. Or Loni. ESPECIALLY not Loni.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Kagami flying-roundhouse-kicking Hiyori in the head to rescue Tsukasa.
 * A less effective example would be a large group busting into Kuro's house to rescue Fuuko.
 * And later, Kagami rescuing Tsukasa in the nick of time with a broken off metal table leg during a near-apocalypse.
 * Pretty much the entire cast at the conclusion of the Arakune arc.
 * Body Horror: DYRE having his brain grafted into INUH's organs, growing a new body, and then violently seperating from INUH.
 * The various things Rare does to Metal.


 * Bratty Half-Pint: Kuro, Rin, and the little bastard boy with the camera.
 * Butt Monkey: Ranma. INUH used to be this in spades. It now seems Ultros is the designated Butt Monkey / Chew Toy.
 * But You Screw One Goat!: How Rin got her Memetic Molester status. Actually two: she and Kuro did something to Tsumugi and did try to molest Fuuko. But then Rin fell in love with Fuuko, and her behavior changed dramatically. She still can't shake the reputation, however.
 * Did anyone mention the orgy down in the basement yet?
 * Buxom Is Better: Inverted by many of the characters, specifically attracted to smaller chests. Played straight by a few though.
 * Crack Shipping: One of the foundations of the thread.

"-Asuka just lies there, as she's both terrified and experiencing pain for the first time in her life.-
 * Cannot Spit It Out: Madarame is madly in love with Kagami, but completely freezes whenever he tries to tell her.
 * Canon Discontinuity: A lot of moments early in the thread get this treatment.
 * Cast Full of Gay: Definitely.
 * Catch Phrase: "Good grief.", "There we go.", "HEY GUYS!", for starters...
 * Catgirl: This thread sure has a lot of them. It had even more when several characters were exposed to a catgirl-ifying potion, including Ranma. Some of them managed to change back. Some didn't. And some turn catgirl-mode off and on at will.
 * Also, Nuku-Nuku.
 * Cerebus Syndrome: The Arakune and Successor arcs. Really just most of Fringe's plotlines.
 * Cerebus Retcon: The reason that characters from so many different franchises appear together is revealed to be because the dimensional barriers are weakening, which could lead to the destruction of the multiverse.
 * Children Are Innocent: Subverted. The Kojika girls are all here this time.
 * Played straight with Chiyo and Lonarri.
 * Christmas Episode: for 2010
 * Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: As a result of a sockpuppeteer getting banned, a lot of puppets are pretty much guaranteed never to return again.
 * Same for many characters of players who have simply left, though perhaps not quite so guaranteed in some cases.
 * Cloning Blues: Normal!Metal and Kagamiku.
 * Cool Bat: Anno's shiny chrome baseball bat.
 * Cool Sword: Kagami's Sumiremaru.
 * Corner of Woe: INUH's second home.
 * Corrupt the Cutie: Rin (and Kuro) to Tsumugi, so very much.
 * And played with by having Fuuko speak in 1st person.
 * Cute and Psycho: Miyuki was this, until it was revealed that
 * And Akira was one in her extraordinarily squicky relationship with evil!Metalhead.
 * What about the newcomer Shi?
 * Cute Monster Girl: Descartes and Lilith.
 * Darker and Edgier:
 * Deadpan Snarker: Ranma, Kagami, and Tachi.
 * Deus Ex Machina: The rampaging Arakune hordes are only defeated when the First Narrator himself intervenes.
 * Did We Just Have Tea with Cthulhu?: Nuku-Nuku and Pinky again. Pinky the Behemoth Lord loves cookies. And pattycake. Klorpy the Hideous Lust Demon was also fond of baking, tea, and civilized behavior.
 * Driven to Suicide: INUH, almost.
 * Eldritch Location: Apparently, libraries have killer books and demonic librarians.
 * Even Evil Has Standards: The corrupted Tsumugi refused to spread her corruption to Chiyo.
 * Rin and Kuro in fact didn't molest Fuuko when they spent the night at Kuro's.
 * Even The Lesbians Want Him: While he was here, Kamina seemed to be turning Tsukasa straight without even trying.
 * Everybody Must Get Stoned: As a result of massive amounts of Gorilla Glue being poured into the air vents of the house.
 * Face Heel Revolving Door: Ultros, possibly due to his constantly-changing species and gender, bounces back-and-forth between Chaotic Stupid, Chaotic Good, Neutral Good, Chaotic Neutral, Stupid Evil, and Chaotic Evil.
 * Face Heel Turn:
 * First Law of Gender Bending: Numerous characters have changed genders, some temporarily, some permanently, and some constantly.
 * Fridge Brilliance: Anno realizes that Haruhi turned her into a girl because she willed it to be, not because of a curse, like Ranma.
 * Gender Bender: Ranma ½, Zersk, Anno R, Bartz, Cibo, User:Tachikaze, User:INUH, and Ultros.
 * Thankfully, Bartz got better. It is unknown if Ranma had his curse cured permanently or not...
 * Gorn: Mion, Shion, and Rena's deaths.
 * Growing the Beard: Compare the early thread to the thread currently. Probably happened around the beginning of the Narrator arc, and was unarguably fully grown during the Arakune arc.
 * Groin Attack: The entire purpose of the Crotch Seeking Glowing Green Rock of Doom™.
 * With Metalhead as its most notable target.
 * Heel Face Turn: Metalhead (possibly)
 * If you considered Rin Kokonoe a Heel before, you might not think so now. Fuuko apparently has had a profound effect on the girl.
 * Het Is Ew: Heterosexual relationships seem to be looked down upon.
 * Apparently not. Hiyori drew a heterosexual picture...
 * Still played straight: she was angry at the person she drew into it.
 * Nuku-Nuku suddenly deciding Tachikaze wasn't sexy any more after Tachi turned back into a guy.
 * Heroic BSOD: INUH, after having his apology rejected by Tsukasa
 * As well as pretty much any time the Hiiragis are brought up.
 * Metalhead, after discovering his new ability to turn into a "car".
 * Hurricane of Puns: Tachikaze unleashes one after a winged fire bear flies past, he is then pun-ished for his actions.
 * Improbable Weapon User: Yoshida Kazuhiro, an assassin who knew over five-thousand ways to kill someone with a bun.
 * Improbably-Female Cast
 * In Name Only: The "black VERA", that turns people into glass, summons giant crystal outcroppings and, with the addition of the blood of a small child, somehow turns people into metaphysical beings that are little more than disembodied voices, destroying the multiverse in the process.
 * Incorruptible Pure Pureness: Fuuko and Lonarri.
 * Subverted twice with Estelle, although she wasn't herself...
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: evil!Metalhead's name is and has been quite literal for a while.
 * Jail Bait Wait: Blaze (Pyrololi) and Anno. Often short-circuited by Blaze taking a potion to age her up a few years.
 * Jerkass: evil!Metalhead, when he's not being a Yandere.
 * Also what Rin thinks of Ranma.
 * What did she expect? Considering where he came from, that's not too surprising.
 * Karma Houdini: Lina apparently gets away with blasting Rita with a Dragon Slave. And all she gets is Ranma ½ calling her out for it.
 * Les Yay: One of the most prevalent tropes in the thread.
 * Like Brother and Sister: Normal!Metal and Sakura.
 * Love Dodecahedron: [[media:[[KHSA Srelchartdraft 1]]_r_9668.jpg|This]] is the first draft of the thread's relationship chart. (and here's the current version.)
 * Land Of Gold I Am Your Father:
 * Madness Mantra: i'mnotalolicon
 * Massive Multiplayer Crossover: Ranma 1/2, Tales of Vesperia, Final Fantasy, The Slayers, Mega Man, Lucky Star, Kodomo No Jikan, Blame, Higurashi no Naku Koro ni, Blaz Blue, and many more.
 * The Messiah: Subverted by Tsukasa this time: When INUH tried to apologize for breaking into her house, she kicked him.
 * Played straight by Fuuko.
 * Mind Rape: One of the Narrator's minions did this to poor Rita... Thankfully, She got better.
 * Mood Whiplash: Several Higurashi sockpuppets appearing from nowhere and murdering each other.
 * The whole topic in general randomly flip-flops from absurdist humor to a great deal of other moods.
 * Played straight by Fuuko.
 * Mind Rape: One of the Narrator's minions did this to poor Rita... Thankfully, She got better.
 * Mood Whiplash: Several Higurashi sockpuppets appearing from nowhere and murdering each other.
 * The whole topic in general randomly flip-flops from absurdist humor to a great deal of other moods.
 * The whole topic in general randomly flip-flops from absurdist humor to a great deal of other moods.

-Tachikaze smiles and eats her pancakes-"


 * Moral Dissonance: Kagami ignored INUH's advice about Madarame and decided to befriend him, not completely knowing his intentions.
 * He turned out to be a nice guy with geniune feelings after all, though.
 * Moral Event Horizon: When Rin told Mikan that INUH had molested Kuro, Mikan said she probably deserved it. Rin was not amused.
 * Morality Chain: Could Fuuko be this for Rin? Well...yes. She could.
 * Naive Newcomer: Ranma used to be this.
 * Pretty much anyone who starts posting in the Onions thread after Spring 2011. They've got 100,000 posts to go through if they want to figure out everything that's happened...
 * Naughty Tentacles: Ultros has these, but is far too stupid to use them with any frequency. Klorpy the Hideous Lust Demon had them too, but he was actually a perfect gentle-beast.
 * Nightmare Face: Cibo and Ben Mc Drowned had these after being killed and getting pissed off respectively.
 * Nightmare Fetishist: Metalhead wants to read the Necronomicon.
 * User:Fringe Benefits (and User:Forzare, since he whined about not being listed under here.)
 * Ninja: Mei and Sana, although, they sure suck at it sometimes.
 * Noodle Incident: Although many have a pretty good idea, no one actually knows what went on in that bathroom to turn Tsumugi into a slut.
 * Just what did Hiyori draw that she not only didn't want to show, but destroyed before anyone could see it?
 * What Akira did to the little boy who was responsible for releasing her drunken sex tape to the local news, among many other crimes.
 * Omniscient Council of Vagueness: The Narrators seem to be this.
 * Only Sane Man: INUH.
 * OT 3: Rin, Kuro, and...Fuuko?!
 * Kagami, Tsukasa, and Konata.
 * Hiyori, female!Tachikaze, and Hisa.
 * Pet the Dog: Metalhead buying Fuuko ice cream.
 * Done literally with INUH and Mikan.
 * Power Creep, Power Seep
 * Power Incontinence: User:Tachikaze recently started summoning cups of coffee (above his own head) whenever he spoke.
 * Descartes can't control her lust aura without her amulet. Her amulet also mysteriously falls off quite often.
 * Psychotic Love Triangle: Metal, Akira, and the Unnamed Catgirl.
 * Really Seven Hundred Years Old: User:Zersk.
 * Recycled Script: Goo monsters show up with plans that in some way involve destroying the world and mind control one or more characters, the mind controlled characters torment the heroes, forcing angst upon them. After a while, they fight the villain in another world, with some trap/mooks preventing all bar two characters (generally belonging to User:Forzare and User:Anno R) from participating in the ensuing fight. Arakune arc? Successor arc? Or the likely result of the Jellax arc?
 * Relationship Upgrade: Notable successful ones: Rin and, "The OT 3" . Failed: Sakura and Kyonko. So far.
 * Not anymore.
 * Retcon: A truly divisive one erased the first OT 3. A new OT 3 (or Neo-OT3 was built up slowly to replace it, but this one is just as controversial as the Ret Con that led to it.
 * Running Gag: Someone coming in and asking what is going on, almost always answered with this
 * Anno going into the bathroom for pretty much anything, or just sleeping.
 * People winding up in the red light district no matter where they were going in the first place.
 * "User:DYRE GET BACK TO WORK D:<"
 * Insanity Slippage: Metalhead.
 * Second Law of Gender Bending
 * Serious Business: Shipping. Especially when Hiyori is involved.
 * Shoo Out the Clowns: Happened in a big way during the Arakune arc.
 * Shout-Out: As Ranma ½ blows up Metalhead's axe, he screams, "I AM THE LAW!"
 * And many, many more...
 * Sickeningly Sweethearts: Akira and Metal.
 * Skinship Grope: Nuku-Nuku to just about anyone, and Rin to Kuro, many times. In public.
 * Happens whenever Makoto gets drunk.
 * Smoking Hot Sex: How Tsumugi exits the bathroom after her... encounter with Rin and Kuro. Comes with Sex Dressed as well.
 * Snap Back: The building that a lot of this seems to take place in has been turned into a crater on at least one occasion, has had various holes blasted in it and yet is still perfectly fine.
 * The most popular theory is that an elite workforce of ninja repairmen fix any and all damage to the house each night while the characters sleep.
 * Spell My Name with an "S": INUH is not named Inuh.
 * Status Quo Is God: the amount of subverted and averted situations makes one question the existence of such a thing.
 * Story-Breaker Team-Up: At times.
 * Suspiciously Specific Denial
 * Tempting Fate: Generally happens at least once an hour.
 * They Do: Rin, Kuro, and
 * Konamitsu.
 * This Is Gonna Suck: Most of the thread's reaction to Fuuko being invited to Kuro's house.
 * Those Two Girls: Mei and Sana.
 * Tsundere: Kuro and Kagami are the poster girls here.
 * Estelle used to be this for a while.
 * Too Dumb to Live: The young boy who pulled Des's wing and video-taped Akira having sex with Ultros, certainly qualifies.
 * Lilith and Harumi certainly qualify, frequently breaking laws in public and opening fire on police.
 * Tradesnark: The (Crotch Seeking) Glowing Green Rock of Doom™, INUH's Magical Quest For Hatred™, Orange Octopus Goo™, and the Homura Hair Flip™.
 * Troll: Miyuki's sockpuppeteer trolled the thread and was God Modding with Miyuki. Fortunately, a stop was put to it by Marioguy 128.
 * Unwanted Harem: The succubus!Narrator gets one briefly after she gets materialized and her lust aura affects Pyrololi, Nuku-Nuku, and Rita.
 * Wham! Episode: Rita gets shot by one of the Narrator's minions.
 * Several characters are assaulted by monsters at a restaurant, normal!Metal is nearly killed, Ultros reveals that the Dimensional boundaries are weakening and that Kagami and Tsukasa are Multidimensional Focal Points and unconsciously drawing characters from different universes, Kagami leads a strike team to rescue Tsukasa, and the First Narrator is forced to intervene to save the day.
 * The entire Arakune arc.
 * What Have I Done: Anno, after realizing she let Lonarri go to Kuro's house with Rin, Kuro, and Fuuko.
 * Tachi, when Rare verbally beat her down for not following his orders, which would have lead to Lonarri being endangered.
 * What the Hell, Hero?: Rin to Ranma here. The "hero" part is debatable, Rin's never liked Ranma. Now she pretty much hates him. Stupidity Event Horizon, anyone?
 * Yandere: Evil!Metalhead, although he mostly comes off as a Jerkass at times.
 * And INUH became this for a short while after he was drugged by the cake.
 * And Harumi is this in spades.
 * Yandere: Evil!Metalhead, although he mostly comes off as a Jerkass at times.
 * And INUH became this for a short while after he was drugged by the cake.
 * And Harumi is this in spades.

If you're reading this, User:DYRE GET BACK TO WORK D:<