The Powerpuff Girls/Funny

"Professor Utonium: Bubbles, Buttercup, or whichever of the two remaining Powerpuff Girls has answered the hotline, listen closely. Pay attention. Concentrate intently on the words coming from my mouth. I, The Professor, am being held prisoner. I am being kept against my will in a location not of my choosing. If you desire my safe return, you must come immediately to the lair of Mojo Jojo. Together. Not alone. Independently is not an option...
 * In the episode "Not So Awesome Blossom", Blossom has run away, and Mojo Jojo has kidnapped The Professor and forces him to call the girls' hotline and read a note. Mojo's speaking/writing style + the Professor's monotone make the scene hilarious in a way that has to be heard to be understood.

Buttercup: I think we're supposed to go to Mojo's and save the Professor.

Bubbles: Again?"

"Mojo Jojo: First, you will bow down before me! Next, you will pledge your allegiance and devotion to serve me!
 * In the same episode, you have this little exchange between Mojo and Blossom.

Blossom: How do you know I won't lie?

Mojo Jojo: Because you're Blossom.

Blossom: Shoot!"

"Professor: Fly fly fly fly fly, POW!, bye bye bye bye bye."
 * The whole "The Powerpuff Girls' Greatest Rainy Day Adventure Ever".
 * Professor Utonium dressed up as Bubbles is the icing on that cake of hilarity.

"Mayor: What's that Mayor? A giant alligator is destroying Townsville! I'm on it.
 * Bubbles calls the hotline pretending to be the Mayor. The real Mayor picks up.


 * Jumps out the window. Ms. Bellum comes up to him*

Mayor: I fell in the mud!"

"Blarney: If I were a bunny I'd... HOP HOP HOP!!
 * "Child Fearing".
 * When Mojo Jojo is babysitting the girls, he tells them a bedtime story which is a completely wrong account of Napoleon Bonaparte's conquests. The girls correct him with a detailed description of the later Napoleonic Wars, all while hitting him with pillows.
 * Blarney the singing sea serpent.

If I were a fish I'd SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM!

"'If I were a candle-!'"... Which is cut off by Mojo shouting '"ENOUGH!"' right before we see past Blarney holding up a flaming candle."

"The Mayor: I lost it! I lost the key! AHHHHHH!
 * The Mayor killing FREAKING Navi in Ocarina of Time.
 * I always crack up at the game's message: "You just killed your own fairy."
 * The episode "Supper Villain"
 * "You'll never guess what's for breakfast... pan-cakes!" "This family stinks."
 * "Eat your pea, Professor!" The Professor proceeds to chew on a single pea for a minute. "SWALLOW IT!"
 * "Who wants dessert?" "I DO!" "AW, FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, MARIANNE!"
 * "DOES ANYBODY WANNA PLAY JACKS AFTER DINNER?"
 * How much better the world was under  rule in "The Powerpuff Girls Rule!"
 * That episode was full of hilarious moments, with highlights like this:

Prof. Utonium: AHHHHHH!

Girls: AHHHHHH!

The Narrator: AHHHHHH!"

"Buttercup: (Being shown as the dystopian ruler Big Butter) There's only one way to rule the world! Just tell everybody what to do and when to do it! And if any of 'em got a problem with it, they can take it up with Punchy McGee and Fisty O'Flannigan!"
 * And this:

"Blossom: What evil have you bestowed on our sister?
 * The episode "Los Dos Mojos".
 * Bubbles, thinking that she is Mojo Jojo after being hit on the head, steals Mojo's clothes when he is taking a bath.

Mojo Jojo: You've got to be kidding. I'm wet, I'm naked, your sister is wearing my clothes, and this is all part of some evil plot TO RULE THE WORLD AS A SOGGY CHIMP IN MY BIRTHDAY SUIT?!"

"Buttercup: Blossom, wait! She's our sister!
 * The exchange after Blossom attempts to attack amnesiac Bubbles after she slams her into a wall.

Blossom: Yeah, but that really hurt...

Buttercup: I know, I know, but two wrongs don't make a right. She hits you, you hit her. Suddenly we're all hitting each other! Then we'll all be back right where we started.

Bubbles: What's the matter Buttercup? 'Fraid I'll whoop that skirt off 'ya?

[Beat]

Buttercup: Alright, let's kick her butt."

"Mojo Jojo: Oh, SHUT UP! *conks her on the head again* That's all just well enough, because in reality there is only room enough in this world for one Mojo Jojo. One shall be the number of Mojo Jojos in the world and the number of Mojo Jojos in the world shall be one! Two Mojo Jojos is too many, and three is right out! So the only Mojo Jojo there is room for in the world shall be me! And being the only Mojo Jojo in the world, I will rule the world, in which there is only one MOJO JOJO!"
 * After Mojo Bubbles has been going on and on for awhile.

"Mayor: Blossom! There's this crazy tomato stealing all the Susan B. Anthony coins from the mint!
 * From the anti-Straw Feminist episode "Equal Fights":

Blossom: Oh, really?

Mayor: Eh... yeah.

Blossom: And just what do you want us to do for you?

Mayor: Oh, eh... stop her, or... something..."

"Bubbles: The Gangreen Gang? You wished for them?
 * Buttercup's little crush on Ace being brought up twice in "Aspirations".

Buttercup: No!

Bubbles: I thought you were over them!

[Beat]

Buttercup: Why do you gotta bring up old stuff?"

"Buttercup: Hmph! Typical guys: See some curves; turn into gibbering idiots! (Blossom and Bubbles stare suspiciously at her.) NOT LIKE I CARE!"
 * Later on...

"Blossom: (whispering) You think she can see us?
 * "I work in insurance. My company insures buildings in Townsville against damage. [Beat] I am a very busy man."
 * The girls are hiding in the bushes spying on their new neighbors and spot a little girl.


 * Bubbles starts jumping up and down yelling "YOO-HOO!"*

Buttercup: Yep."

"Weiner of DEATH!"
 * *om nom nom nom nom* "Pie!"
 * "Criss Cross Crisis".
 * "Mayor, what are you doing in our house? Oh, I'm not in your house, you're in my body. Oh! Hmmm hmm." [Beat] "Aaarrghh!"
 * The Gangreen Gang squealing like teenage girls.
 * Blossom flying around as an angry wiener dog.

"Mojo: Unbelievable!"
 * Then, as Mojo (now a sumo wrester) is at a great advantage against the girls (now a cobra, caterpillar, and wiener dog), against all probability, the girls are transformed into a fisherman, sushi chef, and eskimo, while Mojo becomes a fish.

"Him: (dumbfounded) Well what do you know."
 * "Professor, your hand doesn't work!"
 * In "Him Diddle Riddle" the girls have to solve various riddles by a certain amount of time, or else the Professor will pay. The girls lose eventually and the Professor ends up, well, having to pay...
 * The Powerpuffs have to take the SATs, needing to get over 100 total to pass the test. Buttercup gets a 25. Blossom gets a 12. Bubbles, whose answer sheet was filled out to form a daisy, got over a thousand.

"Narrator: And so... um... yeah..."
 * The Narrator's reaction to the reveal at the end.

"Bubbles: (on why we need color) Not to mention all the safety reasons!"
 * Then there's the final riddle, which is answered by The Mayor of all people, who effortlessy decodes the meaning of 'boiling and freezing' as coordinates, figures out what area they lead to, then throws in, "...Or maybe there's an ice cream truck on fire."
 * In the episode "Mime for a Change".

"Blossom: So, you like to make things black and white, huh?!
 * Upon confronting Mr. Mime.

Buttercup: Well, how would you like to be black and blue?!"

"Bubbles: You can't park in front of a fire hydrant! *Throws the car*
 * Car parks in front of fire hydrant. Bubbles picks up car.

Driver: I didn't knoooooooow!"

"Mojo: So, Powerpuffs, now that you have seen these special precautions, what do you plan to do?!
 * Mojo's failure to subvert Never Recycle Your Schemes:

Blossom: *shrugs* We're gonna kick your butt."

"Princess: Now look, monkey butt, it's real simple! Take your cheap, good-for-nothing, lazy soy latte, honey, and leap out a high window 'cause you're breathing my air, and you are fired! Ugh! *hangs up* Man, my mom can be such a pain in the butt."
 * "No dogs, no biting, no dropping. Once again: no dogs, no biting, no dropping. Once again..."
 * The entire "Curses" episode. Starting with Bubbles saying "Stupid [censored] crayon!"
 * Princess talking on the phone in "Boy Toys".

"Bubbles: Buttercup hurt Mojo's head, and I would have kiss'ded his widdle boo-boo, but then I remembered he's a bad monkey so I KICKED IN HIS FACE!!!"
 * Mojo Jojo's attempt to avert the creation of the Powerpuff Girls, which ultimately makes him the reason for their existence in the first place. Again. You can imagine how he felt about this.
 * Big Billy's Show-and-Tell. Partly because of how it comes right out of nowhere, and partly for everyone else's reaction to.
 * In the Rashomon Style episode "The Bare Facts", Bubbles' retelling is visualized in crayon drawings, including a cloud "that looked like a cloud".

"Prof. Utonium: Parent teacher conference?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
 * "Daylight Savings":

""HOP ABOARD THE DREAMLAND EXPRESS!!""
 * Enforcing curfew for the first time.

"Blossom: People here are nice! Things'll be fine!
 * In "Too Pooped to Puff", The Professor can't reach the remote. The girls get fed up with his laziness and leave, except for Bubbles. Bubbles smiles and picks up the remote, then promptly drops it on the floor and exits.
 * From The Movie:

*Cut to newspaper heading "Freaky Bug-Eyed Weirdo Girls Broke EVERYTHING"*"

"Mojo: She has a point there.
 * Pick-up line from a random man to a woman in his penthouse: "You know... I have a nice car." It so happens that a car was flying right into them.
 * The Mayor going absolutely apeshit when Fuzzy puts on his Mayor hat.
 * In "Meet the Beat Alls" Mojo and HIM are having a Eviler Than Thou argument which Princess interrupts insisting that she'll be the one to beat the girls because she has the greatest power of all: cold hard cash.

Him: (effeminate voice) Yes, she does.

[long beat]

Mojo: But, still.

Him: Yes. *resume fight*"

"See it here"
 * The Cartoon Network bump in which the Powerpuff Girls take on the Legion of Doom from Superfriends is a laugh riot from beginning to end, from Wonder Woman rolling her eyes over Aquaman's failed attempt to use his aquatic friends to save them to Bubbles wishing to be just as developed as Wonder Woman when she grows up.

"Professor: Gah! I can make three little girls out of seasoning, but I just can't get these darned lights to work."
 * From the Christmas Special:

"Blossom: Ah, what a sight for sore eyes!
 * "Bubblevision", about Bubbles getting temporary Nerd Glasses and her sisters making jibes at it.

Buttercup: It's old four eyes!

Bubbles: Hey! You said you were just kidding!

Buttercup: We were!

Blossom: About "just kidding"!"

"Prof. Utonium: Uh, uh, uh! The doctor said, "No speaking for a week." The less you speak, the sooner you can get out of that, um... that... eh...
 * Bubbles gets it again in "The City of Nutsville" regarding a temporary Elizabethan collar treatment as a remedy for her bee-stung throat.

Buttercup: ..."Face brace"?

(Buttercup and Blossom break out in laughter.)"

"Prof. Utonium: Now, now, girls. It's not nice to make fun of your sister's condition! It's not her fault that she's stuck wearing this... this... ehm...
 * And just seconds later, Buttercup doubles it up.

Buttercup: ..."Throat moat"?

(Buttercup and Blossom break out in laughter again.)

(The Professor struggles to hold his laughter in.)"

"Boomer: You girls are gonna eat your words, spit 'em out, and eat 'em again!
 * Anything involving Boomer.

Blossom: That doesn't even make sense!

Boomer: I know you are, but what am I?!"

"Narrator: All of the villains and all of the bratty ones and all the fuzzy ones and all the icky ones and all the sticky ones and all the scary ones and all the villains are-
 * From "The Powerpuff Girls Rule!"

Mojo: One of us is not here!"

"Narrator: The city of Los Angeles! With the passing of Craig's father his mother decided to move on to greener, more earthquake-prone pastures.""
 * The final confrontation between Captain Righteous and Lefty and the Ministry of Pain. Especially Righteous' Big No.
 * Professor Utonium has shrunken down the girls so they can fight off an invasion of Nanobots more easily. However, the nanobots all fuse together to form a robot a few inches tall, an impossible foe for the girls to fight off, because of the sheer size advantage. Cue
 * The end of "Three Girls and a Monster". Blossom wants to use strategy, Buttercup brute force. What actually works?
 * From "Who, What, When, Where, Why... Who Cares?", the documentary made for the show's 10th anniversary, when explaining Craig McCracken's background:

"Narrator: He had to be sure he was thinking with his mind and just his, uh...
 * And when discussing McCracken meeting his co-worker and future wife Lauren Faust:

Mayor: Pickle!

Narrator: Right, Mayor!"

"Blossom: (the crooks are threatening to break a priceless porcelain poodle and the girls bust in) Put down the priceless porcelain poodle, you punks!
 * And McCracken's final line of the feature to the narrator: "Tom, you're out of a job."
 * Season 1, Episode 2: "Powerpuff Bluff". About a trio of criminals who impersonate the Powerpuff Girls.

Lead Crook: P-p-p-Powerpuffs!

Blossom: Precisely!"

"Bubba: Hey, Sweet Cheeks! What's your sign?
 * Halfway through the episode, a pickup line and the (not-so-sexual) Double Entendre that follows it.

Sara Bellum: Stop."

"Elmer Sglue: No, Mr. Green! I don't want to be spun!"
 * The Imagine Spots in "Substitute Creature". Especially when combined with the outrageously melodramatic dialog.

"Professor: My little Bubbles. You'd never guess that only a few months ago she had a bed-wetting problem!"
 * Everything about "Meet the Beat-alls" episode. The non-stop references were almost too much.
 * "Powerprof." The whole fight scene where the Professor embarrasses the girls with horrible one-liners and pet names is pretty funny, but what really puts it over the top (and puts Bubbles' face into a paper bag for the rest of the scene) is the Professor casually mentioning to bystanders:

"Mojo: (Bloodshot eyes and grinning) I know who took my plans...It was you! (Points at bluebird) Well then...It was you! (Points at phone) It was all of you!"
 * The entirety of the episode "Jewel of the Aisle". "Ridiculous, Lucky Captain Rabbit King! Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth!"
 * Buttercup impersonating Bubbles in "Octi Gone".
 * You're a bad monkey Mojo.
 * "You Snooze, You Loze"
 * Mojo's descent into paranoid insanity:

"Dog: Bubbles.. have mercy..
 * From "Bubblevicious", the source of a massive traffic jam is revealed to be a dog: "Well I may be able to talk but I sure as heck can't drive!" Followed immediately by:

Bubbles: Mercy is for the weak!! [WHAM]"