Is That What They're Calling It Now?



Snarky question used to imply that whatever the previous speaker was describing, the real subject matter at hand is sex:

"Sweet Young Thing: ...And I've been lobbying heavily among the trustees to see that this new rule is passed!

Evil Mrs. Calhoun: "Lobbying heavily"? Is that what they're calling it now?"

Alternate phrasings include "Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" and "Well, I've never heard it called that before."

While not limited to either gender, it does seem to be applied to eager young females most often, usually by older women who may feel threatened by them.

This happens in many examples of Truth in Television as well: For example, when Los Angeles mayor Antonio Villaraigosa admitted to having an extramarital affair with a Telemundo reporter who was the Mayor's Office Correspondent for the station, the number of different phrases that "it" could be called expanded into a Hurricane of Euphemisms. ("Covering the mayor's job", "reporting on his affairs", "staying on top of his agenda", "working the beat", etc.)

This can extend to non-sexual subjects, if the subject of the remarker's disapproval is clear (Kangaroo courts, for example -- "We will, of course, be giving you a fair trial." "Oh, is that what you call it?").

See also Have a Gay Old Time. Contrast Accidental Innuendo.

Comic Books
"Dr. Sofia di Cosimo: The god Hercules was the first mythological figure I was able to access and... ah... test.
 * In Spider-Man 2099, Miguel O'Hara, the future version of Spider-Man, is caught by his girlfriend with another woman. He explains "We just... clicked." to which she replies "You clicked? Is that what it's called now?" After further argument, her parting shot is "Click you!"
 * Mr Mxyzptlk, discussing Batman and Robin with Bat-Mite: "Youthful ward? Is that what they're calling it these days?"
 * As the pic suggests, this line comes into play in Marvel Adventures: Avengers, where Janet has a crush on one of her dad's employees.
 * In Incredible Hercules, Herc uses this line when Namora puts him in an "Atlantean crab hold" during a sparring match. Namora shoots back an Ironic Echo at the end of the same arc, when Hercules suggests using an Olympian eagle strike in combat.
 * Not so subtly used in a spinoff strip to Batman: The Animated Series. When Harley refers to her and Ivy playing, Batgirl initially, and correctly, thinks they're more than friends. Hilarity Ensues.
 * In Comicbook/Incredible Hulks #627, when a mythology expert is briefing NATO on the Power Level of the recently stolen Pandora's Box, her usage of "Hercs" as a unit of measurement for the energy radiated by mythological objects and entities is inquired about, leading to this exchange:

General Gladwell: So that's what you kids are calling it these days."


 * As she mentions later to Banner, she really did date Hercules.

Fanfiction

 * In Foundations Harry's colleagues demand that he tells them how his lunch with Draco and Narcissa Malfoy went. When Harry says "Well... Draco's peacock bit me", Cecile wants to know if that's a euphemism. It's not.
 * Are You There God? It's me, Canada has Arthur asking Francis for "help levelling the dresser in the bedroom".
 * In One Thing Leads to Another, BB says : "Sure you 'talked'. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?" after Robin tells him he and Starfire "had a long talk last night" to resolve an argument that was really hurting the entire team. Of course, Beast Boy, due to his animal senses, is fully aware what this "talk" involved.

Film
"John Smith: "Strazzi said he had brought the girl along to keep up his morale. That's the first time I had ever heard it called that.""
 * In body-swap comedy Its a Boy Girl Thing Woody (Nell's personality in Woody's body, actually) comes downstairs after studying with Nell (Woody in disguise). His father asks him how things with Nell have been going to which he replies "we were studying." The father then merrily applies the trope: "so that's what you call it these days."
 * Last Man Standing (1996).

"Satine: Oh, poetry. I love a little poetry after supper."
 * The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain: Morgan the Goat claims Betty is "advising me on the refurbishment of my establishment". His girlfriend/mistress replies "Refurbishing your establishment? I've never heard it called that before."
 * Nick from Push does a non-sexual version of this when Cassie uses the term "second-generation mover" to describe Nick. He quips "Is that what they're calling it these days?" This is more because he's a smartass than anything else.
 * In the film made of the Stephen King short story Umney's Last Case, a 1930's private eye swaps places with the modern day author who created him. He opens the door to find a girl with an uncanny resemblance to his Sassy Secretary from the past, dressed in a halter top and shorts, saying she's here to clean his pool. Naturally this leads to a "Is that what they're calling it now?" line.
 * In Moulin Rouge, Ewan Mc Gregor is trying to get Satine to listen to his poetry. She think he's there for sex and being shy about it (to be fair, she is a prostitute).

"Teddy: Look, you guys can go around if you want to; I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting for you on the other side, relaxing with my thoughts.
 * Subverted in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? with the infamous "Patty Cake". While we are lead to believe that "Patty Cake" is referenceing a slightly less innocent act, it turns out that they really are just playing patty cake.
 * It's actually double subverted: a patty cake game is the toon equivalent of sex.
 * Stand by Me:

Gordie: Do you use your left hand or your right hand for that?"

Literature

 * Perhaps the Ur Example of this trope comes from Boccaccio's Decameron (Day 3, Story 10)--one of the most outrageously dirty things ever put in print. So much so that it wasn't even translated into English until the late 19th century--Edward Gibbon refused to translate it in his version, saying it was too 'smutty'.
 * The actual expression, for those who won't click the link, is "putting the Devil in Hell."
 * Used in the last book in the Midnighters series by the resident Smart Guy

Live Action TV
"Sam: You sure this is a good idea, you hookin' up with her again?
 * From Burn Notice, the hero's best friend is commenting on the wisdom of the hero's choosing his (admittedly very well-trained and well-armed) ex-girlfriend for backup.

Mike: I'm not hooking up with her. That's not what's happening. I need her for tactical support.

Sam: * chuckling* Is that what they're calling it these days? Tactical support?"

"Jack:I need [Ianto's] local expertise.
 * The end of Lost season 2, with the whole "got caught in a net" thing: following weeks of UST between them, Jack and Kate go out on a mission and spend a night in a jungle, being caught in a net among other things. When Sawyer asks what they were doing out there, all he gets is "got caught in a net" reply and mistakes it for sex euphemism. For the several following episodes he sarcastically refers to sex as "caught in the net", until the "A-Team" goes on another mission, where he sees another net trap in a jungle and realizes there was no double meaning after all.
 * In the Torchwood episode "From Out Of The Rain",:

Gwen: Oh, is that what you're calling it now?"

"Doctor: Relax. He's a fifty-first century guy. He's just a bit more flexible when it comes to 'dancing'.
 * And while we're talking about Captain Jack, there's a running gag regarding the use of the word "dancing" in the Doctor Who ep, "The Doctor Dances".

Rose: How flexible?

Doctor: Well, by his time, you lot are spread out across half the galaxy.

Rose: Meaning?

Doctor: So many species, so little time.

Rose: What, that's what we do when we get out there? That's our mission? We seek new life and.. and...

Doctor: [nodding] Dance."

"Olivia: Exactly how close were you two?
 * Law and Order Special Victims Unit: Used by Olivia Benson to sweat a perp.

Lauren Cooper: He was like a father to me!

Olivia: Oh, is that what they're calling it now?"

"Percy: I touched her once.
 * To which Lauren Cooper replied, "Are you disrespecting my family?"
 * An episode of Blackadder had the following:

Blackadder: You touched her what?

Percy: Her, once, in the corridor.

Blackadder: I've never heard it called that before."

"Jack: When I was your age, I was putting myself through college in Boston, paddling swan boats for the tourists.
 * Thirty Rock:

Kenneth: Is that a euphemism for some kind of sex worker?"

"George Michael I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
 * Arrested Development, when George Michael had been hiding his grandfather in the attic, but Michael suspected he was hiding a girlfriend:

Michael Just the fact that you call it that is proof that you're not ready."

"Simon: I need to check her vitals!
 * Later on Ann refers to sex as Pop-Pop, completely independently.
 * And so does Rita.
 * And so does George Michael himself, following Michael's usage to describe George Sr. in the same sense George Michael had originally intended, subverting the running gag and bringing it full circle.
 * In an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, Will and Carlton went to a clinic to pick up some reference material for Ashley, who was slamming headfirst into puberty at the time. As the doctor goes to help them, Will and Carlton try to "cover" by loudly announcing that they were looking for material for a book report and checking the building for asbestos, respectively. The doctor later turns to Carlton and says: "Asbestos? Last time I heard, it was called Knockin' Boots!"
 * Not to mention Will's assurance to Carlton that he "won't always be a...German."
 * Firefly had one of these in the first episode:

Mal: Oh, is that what you call it?"

"Widow: And exactly how many times a week did you respect him?"
 * Admittedly, Simon's sister was naked at the time. Mal can be forgiven for assuming the worst.
 * In the Bones funeral episode:

"Young Ethan: I should probably tell you, I'm not a... uh, that is to say I don't... I've never...
 * When Richie claims in Bottom that 'my grandfather was a trawlerman you know?' Eddie's reply is 'Oh so that's what they called them in those days was it?'.
 * A kind of... double inversion (as he's both younger than her, and the one trying to be euphemistic) on Friends:

Monica: Are you a virgin?

Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days, then yes I am!"

"Monica: I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
 * In the episode "The One with All the Resolutions", when Monica and Chandler have a secret relationship:

Chandler: Laundry. Huh. Is that my new nickname?"

"Angel: I'm not here to sing.
 * A non-sexual example from Angel:

Lorne: Oh, is that what we're calling it now?"

"Sara: I brushed chalk from his face.
 * One memorable non-sexual example from CSI is an exchange between Sara and Marjorie Wescott, a defense lawyer, after Sara is asked about a previous case where she had been seen touching him in a 'romantic gesture':

Marjorie: Oh, is that what they're calling it now?"

"Gibbs: Go, unhydrate.
 * Let it be known that, in the aformentioned episode, there was no chalk on his face. Really.
 * Excretion instead of sex: on NCIS, Gibbs encouraged Kate to "stay hydrated", specifically to use her as a distraction when she went to the head.

Kate: Never heard it called that."

"Robin: Where's Will and Djaq?
 * Inverted in another episode, when Ziva doesn't understand what a suspect means when he says someone 'couldn't keep it in his pants.' Tony's explanation involves a tune and some suggestive gesturing. Ziva comes to the conclusion that they're talking about dancing.
 * Interesting example in the Smallville Season 4 episode "Spell," when Jonathan finds a stray bra under the hay in the loft, and Clark blurts out that "it was magic," followed by a sarcastic "I'm sure it was" from Martha. While Lana, Chloe and Lois (under the control of three ancient French witches...and yes, it makes slightly more sense in context) did use sorcery to brainwash the guests at Chloe's birthday party, it was an underwear party, and there was at least one other couple Clark bumped into the next morning who had to bolt with clothes in hand. So the example is both played straight (it really was magic) and subverted (but there was probably lots of sex too, just not directly involving Clark).
 * In The Young Ones, Vivian lets out a highly articulate outburst with his raging hatred for The Good Life. Neil's father stands up for it, specifically star Felicity Kendall, adding "...and I want to protect her!" Vivian snorts "Well, it's the first time I've ever heard it called THAT!"
 * Not quite exact to the trope definition, but series 2 of Robin Hood does include a conversation among the outlaws about euphemisms for couples hooking up.

Much: They said they were going to get some honey.

John: They'll be back soon.

Much: If that's what they've gone for. But why does it need two of them, hm? Honey is one of those things."

"Woman: I can't believe I fell for that line.
 * Inversion from The Kids In The Hall

Darril: What line?

Woman: You know! "Would you like to look at my etchings?"

Darril: (Gestures towards wall of etchings) So you don't want to see them?"

"Jamie: "What did you do today, honey?"
 * Myth Busters: Used jokingly by Adam in the very first (non-pilot) episode, while making a bullet out of flash-frozen hamburger.

Adam: I made a meat bullet. "Is that what the kids are calling it these days?""

"Dr. Kelso: Last week I was in the mall hanging out at Brookstones when some kid asked me if I was lost.
 * Kind of inverted in Scrubs:

J.D.: Brookstone. Looking for gadgets, sir?

Dr. Kelso: If that's what you call trolling for mall ass, sure."

"Paul: ...and, I know you wanted me to come in to... you know...
 * And played straight in this exchange:

Elliot: Oh, no no no! I invited you in to see my... fish tank.

The Todd: Is that what you ladies are calling it nowadays?

Paul: Careful, Todd."

"Some Guy: Alright, let's take her in for an Autopsy.
 * In the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Spin-Off, Cinematic Titanic, in Frankenstein's Castle of Freaks:

Joel: Oh, is that what they're calling it now.."

"Hardison: Li'l Jennifer Pearson's wearing you out, ain't she?
 * Leverage, "The Double Blind Job":

Elliot: Dude, we walked the Freedom Trail twice.

Hardison: Nice!

Elliot: No, man, the actual Freedom Trail. We took paddle boats to the public gardens, shopped on Newbury Street, and went to something called the Boston Duck Tour."

"Jeremy: Guys, problem! I've shoved my anarchy flag through my water lilo!
 * In The George Lopez Show, Carmen tells George that she did "half pipes" with her boyfriend. George assumes she is talking about drugs. She was talking about skateboarding.
 * On one episode of The Love Boat, Gopher and a woman are in a cabin, chasing after a spider and trying to squash it with their shoes. When Doc opens the door to see what all the ruckus is about, Gopher innocently comments, "We're killing spiders." As Doc leaves, he mutters, "I've heard it called a lot of things, but never that."
 * Top Gear had this gem.

Hammond: Nobody's ever said that before!"

"Oz: Look, if I do Ryder a favor or two, he could help me switch some shifts and I can sync up with Sandy's schedule.
 * The line is used in Family Matters when Karl's wife and sister-in-law catch him with a woman at a Love Hotel, and he claims they're working. He's telling the truth: the woman is a fellow police officer, and they're meeting some crooks at that hotel room as part of a sting operation.
 * A variant is used in an episode of Eureka: Trevor tells Jack that he just went out on a date with Allison. Jack tells Trevor that he's merely "a distraction".. Trevor asks if that's what the kids are calling boyfriends these days.
 * The Listener (right after Toby has been teasing Oz about how all he thinks about is his new girlfriend):

Toby: Is that what it's called nowadays?"

"Chuck Woolery Where'd you sleep the second night?
 * On Love Connection Brad Kamanski and Beate Gold describe their spending the night on Brad's father's boat:

Brad On the boat.

Chuck Oh? Get much sleep the second night?

Beate Ahem, no.

Brad No, not really.

Chuck Those waves going, keeping you up all night?

Beate It was nice.

Chuck Birds going over you?

Beate Oh yeah! Seagulls."

"Esposito Come on, what were you REALLY doing?
 * On The Borgias, Rodrigo gives his mistress Giulia a lesson in politics by comparing her calf to Naples, her knee to Rome, and her, er, "source of disquiet" as France. The scene ends with his mouth working its way up and his comment that he "intends to invade France". Yowza.
 * On Frasier, when Martin introduces his physical therapist Daphne to his sister-in-law Zora, this is her exact reaction.
 * Castle had one of these when Beckett and Castle had hickey-like marks left on their necks by injectors. The following exchange occured:

Beckett It's not a hickey, Esposito.

Castle I wish it was. It was left by the injectors.

Esposito Injectors? Is that what they're calling it now?

Ryan Hey guys. Are those hickeys?

Esposito Yes.

Beckett No.

Castle I wish.

Beat

Ryan Okay then."

""We've just been milking the goats."
 * On Hudson Street, Tony was excited about meeting his favourite footballer and getting him to autograph a ball. He said something along the lines of "I can't wait to get his John Hancock on my pigskin", causing one of his co-workers to remark "I hope that's not a euphemism".
 * On Dinosaurs, Charlene is dumped by her boyfriend, and this is Earl's reaction to the news.
 * Wild Boys:

"I'll bet you have!""

"American Officer: Well, I'll be hornswoggled!
 * Used, albeit not with the exact phrasing on The Goodies:

Graeme: Your personal life is no concern of ours."

Music

 * "Horizontal Bop" by Bob Seger

Radio

 * The Greaseman calls sexual intercourse "Hobble-de-ge" and oral sex "Gobble-de-ge".

Theatre
"Tito: I know why you're here.
 * During the Comedy Of Errors spectacular "Lend Me a Tenor":

Maggie: You do, do you?

Tito: Yes-you want my autograph.

Maggie: Oh, is that what they call it in Italian?"

"Russell: Maggie--either Alison leaves the magazine or I do. This is the end--the absolute end.
 * In Lady in the Dark, Charley insinuates that "color plates" might be the new "etchings":

Maggie: Now, Russell...

Russell: I meant it. She's just calmly loaned my color plates to a friend until Wednesday.

Charley: Say, that's kind of new... "I'd like you to come up to the apartment and see my color plates."

Russell: Oh, don't be so Goddamn bright, Johnson--you sicken me."

"Mrs. van Daan: In my day it was the boys who called on the girls. Not the girls on the boys.
 * In The Diary of Anne Frank, after Anne goes to visit Peter in his room:

Mrs. Frank: You know how young people like to feel that they have secrets. Peter’s room is the only place where they can talk.

Mrs. van Daan: Talk! That’s not what they called it when I was young."

"Edith: You're my soul mate, that's what you are.
 * From Grey Gardens The Musical:

Gould: "Soul mate," is that the nom du jour?"

Video Games
"Nate: I don't fumble, I improvise.
 * The "interact" command in Assassin's Creed II occasionally takes on some very interesting meanings.
 * In Uncharted 2:

Chloe: Oh, is that what you call it?"

Webcomics
"Elan: Uh, ? Haley and I need to...go have sex.
 * "Fighting" in DMFA 's Fic Within A Webcomic, in a "Sure, let's go with that" variant.
 * Subverted in the webcomic Elf Life: Filis was fond of referring to "frolicking" with Baughb, the main character When asked by another character why she was constantly using that euphemism, she angrily replies that she meant "frolicking" and if she meant to say "f*** ing" (censored in panel), she'd have said "f*** ing".
 * In Girl Genius, a pair of background characters are said to be in the woods "hunting mushrooms" by a naive young guard, prompting this sort of response from his sergeant.
 * Sinfest: Inspiration.
 * The Noob has an affair with the queen and Ohforf's "nose" in this strip. (The actual nose he is referring to can be seen here.)
 * In The Whiteboard, Pirta says this to Jake.
 * Order of the Stick has interpret one of Elan's statements as this. Elan has absolutely no idea how   interpreted it. Elan genuinely wanted him to think they were bathing an orang-utan.
 * Hilariously averted later, when they need to get away from him for a minute.



Haley: Come on, V. And bring the cat, just in case.



""Like, for-real Scrabble, or is that a euphemism for something else?"
 * In this Questionable Content, a rather oversexed character interprets "Do you want to come back to my place, and, um, m-maybe I could show you some of MY fanfic?" as, well, you know.
 * Subverted in an earlier strip, when Marten first meets Hannelore. She invites him back to her place to play Scrabble.

"What? No! Scrabble! Sex is for no. Too many fluids and germs and sweat and ew. Totally yuck. Ew.""

"Mrs. Wonderella: This is an excellent paint job, Rita!
 * A non-sexual version in Impure Blood: when Elnor blames her pounding head on the jostling from their journey, Roan asks if that's what they call the ale in the last town.
 * In Sinfest inspiration
 * After Wonderella is petrified by the Medusa:

Wonderita: Thanks! I started doing Warhammer miniatures back in junior high!

Mrs. Wonderella: I certainly hope that isn't some sort of sex act!"


 * Unshelved: "'Compared notes'?" "That's not what we called it my day."
 * Girls with Slingshots: [http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-852/ "We just... talked."

Web Original
"John Doe: I'd better go. Dr. Anna has been pestering me for some scheduled maintenance.
 * A common argument for Harmony shippers amongst the Harry Potter fandom was that near the end of the third book, Harry and Hermione ride a Hippogriff together, supposedly symbolising true love. "Riding the Hippogriff together" later became a popular euphemism and meme.
 * In Spoony's Campaign, Angry Joe is trying to describe a plan (that involves showing the head of an enemy to a kingdom), but he keeps making Innocent Innuendo, for which the others rib him mercilessly ("Just because I'm taking a dude up to my room, and showing him my head, doesn't mean..."). When Joe tries to clarify that he's giving a severed head, Y Ruler of Time remarks "Is that what they're calling it now? That's gotta be some sort of new BDSM practice."
 * Stupid Comics: 'This one was imprisoned when she refused to let her prime minister "experiment" on her "subjects". I guess that's what the kids are calling it these days.'
 * Red Panda Adventures:

Kit: Hmm, is that what they're calling it these days?"

Western Animation

 * Variation in SpongeBob SquarePants: An ep has Squidward hearing SBSP saying "I'm ugly and proud", prompting him to wonder: "Is that what he calls it?"
 * Also the episode where Spongebob and Sandy can't stop "karate fighting."
 * In Transformers: Beast Wars, Silverbolt returns from a scouting run, in which he actually met with his still-evil lover Blackarachnia. Rattrap asks him, "Find any new positions?"
 * Murdoc Niccals of Gorillaz mentioned in a radio interview that his bandmate Russel had mentioned he'd been "living in Ike Turner's basement" and Murdoc had assumed it was an Unusual Euphemism. Turns out Russel had, in fact, been living in Ike Turner's basement.
 * "Of course, it is, er, unwise that we two should 'kaboom together' ever again."

Real Life
"Jeff: If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
 * Real world example: In the 1970s in the UK, a female journalist who had been in a bedroom with a former Ugandan cabinet minister during a dinner party claimed they had been "discussing Uganda". The satirical magazine Private Eye has used "discussing Uganda" or "Ugandan relations" as an Unusual Euphemism ever since.
 * It's not certain that it will last as a meme, but South Carolina governor Mark Sanford may have contributed an example. His initial explanation for his disappearance (to visit his mistress in Argentina) was that he had been "hiking the Appalachian Trail", and some commentators explicitly referenced the "discussing Uganda" incident as a comparison.
 * And then there's "lifting luggage".
 * Ventriloquist Jeff Dunham has used this in an act with his dummy, Walter.

Walter: * long pause* "Choke a Smurf"?

Jeff: Yeah.

Walter: Is that what they're calling it now? What happened to the chicken?"