Brian Blessed/Quotes

""Lockjaw: the correct emergency procedure for disabling Brian Blessed.""

- The Uxbridge English Dictionary

""In the news this week, the polls continue to slide for Gordon Brown and some people are saying he's dead and buried. But I think the opposite - I say ""

- BRIAN BLESSED, proving that if God had wanted him to be quiet, He'd have installed some kind of volume switch.

""Joining Paul, a comedian whose friend once told him if they're not laughing it's not comedy. Well, either that or you're just not !!""

- BRIAN BLESSED introduces Marcus Brigstocke

"Ian Hislop: "You could've been in 300"

BRIAN BLESSED: "I could, I could, I'm too loud, I'm too loud for that, I'd scare all the Spartans﻿ - they were nancy boys, they were poofs""

- BRIAN BLESSED, proving how loud he is.

""And newspapers have been doing their bit to calm motorists with headlines like PETROL: WE'RE RUNNING OUT!, STRIKE! SPARKS! FUEL! SHORTAGE! FEARS!, WILL FUEL STOCKS RUN DRY?""

- BRIAN BLESSED, leveling a couple of city blocks while having an idle chat

""OH CALAMITY! OH HOWL, HOWL, HOWL!! BLBLBLBLBLB!! CRY HAVOC, AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR! I COULD HAVE FARTED THAT IN! THE GREAT STEAMING PILLOCK!!!""

- BRIAN BLESSED Giving Snooker Commentary. Seriously.

"'"GORDON'S ALIVE?!"'"

- Prince Vultan

"'"PEACE!"'"

- Boss Nass

"PALM PILOT?! SOUNDS LIKE A WANKING MACHINE!"
 * A TV outtakes show included a clip of a game show where BRIAN BLESSED was giving out a prize. Mighty BRIAN could not remember the name of the prize he was giving out, and, on prompting, roared the following:

"Recently he appeared on British TV programme All Star Mr & Mrs where he claimed that whilst mountain climbing, there had been an avalanche heading straight for him and his partner. He shouted at it and it changed direction."

"Jeremy Hardy: But all of these mountaineer people are just showing off, aren't they?

Sandi Toksvig: Oh yes. Brian Blessed once climbed Everest with a class of schoolchildren hiding in his beard."

- The News Quiz