Hancock/Funny

"Kenneth 'Red' Parker Jr.: He hurt you. Didn't he?
 * In Hancock, the titular hero agrees to go to prison and stay there for a while. Naturally, he's quickly confronted by several guys he put there. When they start trying to harass them, he singles out the two leaders, and threatens to shove one's head (Matrix's) up the other's ass (Man Mountain's). When they don't back off, he actually does it. What makes it even worse is the abrupt change in music at that moment from Ice-T's "Colors" to the theme from Sanford & Son.

(other prisoners look down)

Kenneth 'Red' Parker Jr.: Aw, use your words. How did it make you feel?

Man Mountain: Sore.

Matrix: Bad."

"Hancock: *puzzled* I don't even remember that.
 * "You have a very attractive body. May I have permission to touch your body?" "JUST GET ME OUT OF HERE!"
 * "Homo. Homo in red. Norwegian homo."
 * "If you don't pull over and give yourselves up quietly, I swear to Christ, your head is going up the driver's ass, his head is going up your ass, (points to someone else) and you drew the short stick 'cause your head is going up my ass."
 * Hancock breaking a number of kitchen implements against
 * ESPECIALLY the bit with the two pans when turns around and catches him in the act.
 * The whale Youtube video when Hancock grabs a beached whale by the tail and throws him out to sea, landing smack in the middle of a small yacht.

Ray: Greenpeace does. Walter [The Whale] does."

"Ray: Those were children, Hancock?!
 * Or his defence for pushing in front of children for Icecream while half-naked in burnt clothes.

Hancock: Have you ever put out an apartment fire, Ray?

Ray: No, can't say I have...

Hancock: My ass was hot!"