Warp That Aesop (Darth Wiki)/Tropes

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"Greg Giraldo: "There are more whipped men on tv than there where on the Armistad"."
 * Abhorrent Admirer, Beautiful All Along, Fat Girl, Vanity Is Feminine: There is nothing more important to women than appearance. If you fail in that department for one reason or another, reconstruct your body and face. If you don't, your whole life will be a failure so you can as well start thinking about committing suicide.
 * Abuse Is Okay When It Is Female On Male: Heterosexual women are innately Closer to Earth and should be allowed, or even encouraged to, commit physical and emotional abuse that would get a man in their position arrested.
 * Lesbians on the other hand are pure evil because they don't fall in love with the guy they abuse.
 * Accentuate the Negative: You don't really have any legitimate arguments against whatever you're talking about. You're just a complainer, and you know what we say about them...
 * Acceptable Feminine Goals: Unless you have one of them in your repertoire, you're not a real woman. You're a bitch that needs to be abused and beaten into shape.
 * The Ace: You just will never be as good as him/her. In anything.
 * All the Good Men Are Gay: He's polite, kind and not a slob. He can't be straight.
 * All Love Is Unrequited: Love and relationships between men and women in general are uninteresting if they're not hurtful.
 * Always Chaotic Evil, Villain by Default: Some people are just always terrible.
 * And That's Terrible: All Anvils need to be dropped all the time. Viewers are Morons who will constantly forget when something is Obviously Evil (or "especially heinous"), and need it constantly pointed out to them.
 * Animation Age Ghetto: All animation is for kids, and if you say otherwise, you're stupid.
 * Asian Gal with White Guy: White man + Asian girl = Good. No exceptions.
 * An Asian girl /White boy pairing exists solely because of race. They couldn't possibly love each other.
 * Oh, and of course Asian man + White woman = BAD. No exceptions either.
 * The preference of White man/Asian woman over Asian man/White woman in media is entirely based on the alleged size of each partner's genitalia.
 * Badass: If you don't fit this mould to the letter, you are useless and shouldn't even have been given a role in this story in the first place.
 * Badbutt: Do you think you're awesome just because you talk smart, hold your own in a fight, regularly save the day without batting an eye, and don't care about being anyone's role model? Sorry. Unless you routinely spout explicit profanity, womanize, and find other ways to piss off Moral Guardians, you're worthless.
 * Be a Whore to Get Your Man: All the guy cares about is your sex appeal so you should flaunt it, never mind anything else
 * Be Careful What You Wish For: Never wish for anything, there will always been some unforseen consequence that will make you regret it.
 * Black Best Friend: Interracial friendships are never genuine. They are there as plot devices to make white people seem progressive and let black people feel important. The friendship must be rated by how high of a pedestal the white friend is put on.
 * Black Comedy Rape: There are Acceptable Targets for rape now.
 * Bunny Ears Lawyer: If you're really good at your job, then nobody will complain if you behave like a slobby, uncaring, unrespectful jerkass.
 * But Not Too Black: If there is a light-skinned person of color in any work, it's because the casting directors are racist, Or the casting directors think the viewers are racists. There is no way they could have been cast on talent. No, not even when there are major dark-skinned characters in the same series.
 * White men like Halle Berry because they hate dark skin black women, with prominent african features. And for NO OTHER REASON.
 * But Not Too Black is the new black, and people should just deal with it.
 * Despite the increasing numbers of interracial marriages and relationships, any products of those relationships shown can only be there for But Not Too Black reasons.
 * Any sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from racism.
 * If you happen to be black, you shouldn't be visible unless your But Not Too Black.
 * Alternatively, prominent black features are all concrete an any deviation is clearly just a case of But Not Too Black.
 * But Not Too Gay: Straight men have no limit to how straight they can be. Gay people shouldn't flaunt it. (Note that this only applies to men...and Butch Lesbians)
 * Black Sheep Hit: If you only know one song by an artist or band, don't even think about liking it. You only know that song because it's completely different from the rest of the creators' work. At best, you are only appreciating them for their cheap sell-out phase. At worst, you're the reason why none of their other songs have ever been successful.
 * Cats Are Mean: Cats are Obviously Evil creatures. Need proof see All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.
 * Creepy Crossdresser: any transvestite who doesn't pull off the gender illusion flawlessly is a fetishist or creepy pervert out to get you.
 * Unless he's Eddie Izzard.
 * Deadpan Snarker: Constantly resorting to sarcasm makes you edgy and endearing. It won't come off as obnoxious or drive away everyone you know at all!
 * Defeat Means Friendship: Friendship is just like slavery!
 * Die for Our Ship: How dare he/she like her/him don't you know she/he's pure EVIL!!!
 * Draco in Leather Pants: He/She's so cool, Who cares if he rape and killed children and infants? They probaly deserve it.
 * Ron the Death Eater: He saved the world, he obviously did it so he could take it over himself.
 * Dumb Blonde/Blondes Are Evil/Blond Guys Are Evil/Slashers Prefer Blondes: You have blonde hair, so there gotta be something bad about you.
 * Ear Worm: There is no moral. Singers are just arses.
 * Forget about writing a good song; that takes too much work. Just write a catchy hook with a repeated lyric and the masses will confuse catchiness for quality.
 * Easily Forgiven: Who cares what they did? You should always accept them with open arms.
 * Executive Meddling: If anything goes wrong during production, blame the executives!
 * Facial Profiling: You can clearly tell someone's race by their features.
 * Fanon Discontinuity: Don't like something? Pretending it never happened will solve your problems!
 * Fetish Fuel: Viewers are perverts.
 * Foe Yay: That person who hates/competes with you just wants to have sex with you. If you want them off your back, then you need to get on yours.
 * Fridge Logic: Thinking is a buzz-kill. If you catch yourself thinking while you watch TV, head to the fridge and get another beer.
 * Freud Was Right: Everything is a metaphor for sex. EVERYTHING.
 * Girl-On-Girl Is Hot: Bisexual and willing to let me watch and join in? YOWZA!! Real lesbian who isn't about pleasing men? GTFO you useless dyke!!
 * Give Geeks a Chance, Nerds Are Sexy: Males only please. Females? Pfft! Who wants an intelligent woman? Sissies?
 * When geeks and nerds talk about women giving them a chance, they really mean hot women. Anything less than Italian supermodels need not apply.
 * God Is Evil: The universe is run by a vindictive jerkass, but you should just accept it because Might Makes Right.
 * Godwin's Law: Any malicious or misleading argument can be lead back to Small Reference Pools of Complete Monsters, and nothing else in History class is worth retaining.
 * Any comparison of an individual to a horrible tyrant or his regime (no matter how legitimate the comparison) is automatically invalid.
 * It's okay to compare real oppression to being disagreed with or corrected.
 * Hanging Judge: Trying to punish criminals for their misdeeds? You freakin' monster!
 * Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: If someone repeatedly says they're straight, they're gay. People should just make assumptions instead of accepting their declared preference. Unless they say they're gay.
 * Henpecked Husband: Fellas (well, straight fellas), this is all you can look forward to in marriage. You don't get be a nagging pain-in-the-ass, only women do. Or to put it another way...


 * Het Is Ew: Heterosexual sex is always gross, and people who like it are weird.
 * Sex should purely be for the titulation of Yaoi Fangirls and Yuri Fans. Reproduction? That's crazy talk!
 * MPreg: What are you talking about? With men who can impregnate/be impregnated by other men, who needs women?
 * Hilariously Abusive Childhood: To think such words exist in the same sentence.
 * It sucks to grow up in a well-adjusted, normal household where nothing traumatizing yet funny happens.
 * Hollywood Homely: You are ugly because the media says so.
 * America Ferrera is a hideous troll beast whose only redeeming quality is that she's a sassy latina.
 * Hollywood Pudgy: If you can't hide behind a traffic sign then You Are Fat!!!!
 * Hot Guys Are Bastards, Brainless Beauty, and Beauty Is Bad: If you are good-Looking, then you are Bad, Dumb, or Both.
 * Housewife: If you're one of those and are happy about this, you're actually a Stepford Smiler in heavy denial. No exceptions.
 * Ho Yay: Heterosexual? What the hell is wrong with you?
 * Any affection two people of the same gender feel for each other means they want to sleep together.
 * Die for Our Ship: If there is a woman anywhere near a potential male Slash Fic pairing, she has to die, get Put on a Bus, or the relationship has to be ended in a fashion that makes her look bad. It is impossible for such a relationship to end in a healthy, mature manner. Women, however, feel no qualms about cheating on their boyfriends with another woman.
 * Humans Are White: White is automatically the default race in any situation or setting.
 * If you aren't white in the future, odds are you won't exist.
 * Hypocrisy Nod and Lampshade Hanging: The first (and only) step in recovery is pointing out there's a problem.
 * If I Can't Have You: What a better way to show your undying love to murdering them.
 * Insane Troll Logic: Real logic is for nerds.
 * It's Popular, Now It Sucks: What do you mean, you don't have to go in the middle of nowhere to find it and now you can have a decent conversation about it? Why would someone want that?
 * Laser-Guided Karma: Pay Evil Unto Evil is a law of nature.
 * Humiliation Conga: Repeatedly.
 * Last-Minute Hookup: Want to have a character go through all the trouble of having their love life practically fall apart on them (regardless if they actually deserve it)? Then come up with some new character and claim they went with them, that totally makes your previous actions A-OK. And for characters whom are receiving this treatment, feel lucky if Word of God gives your new love interest a name and more than one sentence worth of a character summary.
 * If you're dumped or left standing at the alter, you should hook up with the first person of the sex you're attracted to. Entering a long term relationship or marrying someone you've spent little to no time with before is better than being single.
 * Magic Feather: It's okay to lie to your friend or protege if it raises their self-confidence. Especially if it means sending them to their death or possibly humiliating them for life.
 * The reason it's ok to risk your friend's death or humiliation is because it always works. Every problem is caused by a lack of confidence.
 * Men Act, Women Are: Girls are only special because of their inborn qualities and how they present them; they should make no attempt to improve themselves intellectually or athletically.
 * Men should be exclusively subjected to Tough Love and constant scrutiny, only getting the tiniest bit of validation when they manage to impress people.
 * Men Don't Cry: Crying is for sisses.
 * Misaimed Fandom: Misinterpreting anything about a work (especially if you do it on purpose) is bad. The author didn't create it just so you could think for yourself about what it means, you know! ALWAYS obey the Word of God, or else you become part of the Fan Dumb.
 * Death of the Author: On the other hand, if you are going to think of your own meaning for the book, you must completely throw the Word of God out the window and assume that the Author doesn't understand anything about their own work. There is no middle ground between these two tropes.
 * My Girl Is a Slut: Yes, should be praised for sleeping with a different person every day.
 * Names to Run Away From Really Fast: People should be judged by their names.
 * Obviously Evil: As well as appearance.
 * Nightmare Fuel: Viewers I hope you don't like sleeping after this.
 * Noble Bigot with a Badge: That cop who routinely harasses ethnic minorities is really just a Jerk with a Heart of Gold and should be indulged in his every misguided whim, no matter how many people he gets killed or wrongfully imprisoned.
 * No one will say it outright, but his bigotry is usually justified.
 * And when it often isn't, expect someone to see "the light" anyways and completely forget what he's said because he's saved a kitten.
 * Nostalgia Filter: Everything you ever enjoyed watching when you were younger was actually terrible and you didn't know it because you were just a stupid child. If you still enjoy these things, you are an idiot.
 * Oh, and reminiscing about your happy non-pop culture related childhood memories is bad too because of all the horrible stuff that was going on around you. Seriously, how dare you spend your childhood being a child! What do you mean you weren't born with the knowledge of the horrors of the world and you actually miss... *gasp* not having to worry so much and having FUN? SHAME! SHAME ON YOU!
 * In other words, looking back on ANYTHING that ever made you happy is just plain wrong!
 * No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Don't do good things otherwise it'll come to bite you in the ass.
 * No Transhumanism Allowed: It is both bad and wrong to try to improve your station in life. Your destiny and psychology are determined by your race, and divinely ordained. Wanting to be something better, or even just other, than what you were born as is fundamentally immoral and anyone who is "uppity" enough to want to challenge this is an utterly reprehensible human being.
 * Oblivious to Love: Apparently you didn't notice a person's kindness as affection this it's your fault.
 * Old Shame: It doesn't matter how proud you are of your work, in a few years you'll realize that it's complete crap and want nothing to do with it. Your happiness with something you made won't last.
 * Pacifist Run: Violence is for the weak.
 * Periphery Hatedom: You have absolutely no right to criticize anything (or even the tiniest aspect of anything) aimed outside your demographic. I'd bet you'd love to, wouldn't you? But you can't. It's not for you.
 * Police Are Useless: Want to gain support for your fictional heroic defender of the innocent? You must first utterly discredit everyone who has ever tried to accomplish the same task in real life.
 * Positive Discrimination: Any minority cannot be truly competent, or genuinely skilled in anything. It must be because the creator wants to avoid looking racist. It' can't be because the minority character actually earned anything or the white character is actually worse at the job.
 * It's only okay for characters to be competent if they're a white, straight, cisgendered man.
 * Protagonist-Centered Morality: I'm the hero, I'm making the rules!
 * Real Women Never Wear Dresses: Weakness and utter incompetence are the quintessence of femininity. Therefore, if you're female, don't behave like a woman, lest your credibility as a competent and useful character be destroyed forever with no chance of coming back. Ever.
 * Retired Monster: It's perfectly okay to be a Complete Monster who always lives on the wrong side of the Moral Event Horizon and never shows any remorse-- you can stop any time you want to, and it's not like you'll get in trouble for your misdeeds or anything.
 * "Rule of-" tropes: Viewers are Morons and will gladly watch anything with explosions, boobs, farts, or kittens.
 * The perfect show will have boobs exploding onto farting kittens.
 * Rule of Fun: You shouldn't care about how much sense your game makes. If people get addicted, it's okay.
 * Ship Sinking: A creator of a work should always be as cruel as possible when trying to stop fans from shipping non-canon pairings, even if it means humiliating them at a public convention.
 * Conversly, any creator must be out to get the shippers. They couldn't possibly just not want character A with character B.
 * Token Minority and The Smurfette Principle: The best way to show how not racist and not sexist you are is to collect people of other races, genders, and sexualities like they were items in a scavenger hunt!
 * Alternatively, anytime a body of work has one minority character, it is clearly there to appear not racist or sexist, not because the character might deserve to be there.
 * Twofer Token Minority: Two for one what a deal.
 * No Yay and One True Pairing: Pairings that I don't like are gross, and if you ship them you should feel bad. People should only ship the pairings that I like!
 * No Yay, Foe Yay, and Rape Is Love: "Rape is [only] undesirable when ugly people are doing it."
 * Tsundere: Ladies, the only true way to be a perfect match for the guy you love is to have a rude temperamental streak a mile wide. If any other lady seems to be openly kind and caring for the guy your pining for then don't worry, Happy and Friendly relationships are doomed to failure anyway. The only time you should ever worry about the competition is if she is also a Tsundere, though guys, for the love of god do not follow suit as chances are this will cause you nothing but trouble. (Unless your a blatant pretty boy and even then its not a absolute guarantee.)
 * Ladies, if your interested in a guy and if someone else is interested in him who is a blatant case of this trope, then you only have two options. 1, become a Tsundere yourself or 2, walk away and have nothing to do with those two people, failure to comply with these rules will most likely cause nothing but problems.
 * Alternatively, if you are a Tsundere, you're automatically an irredeemable, abusive bitch. It doesn't matter if you win or not, some fans won't forgive you for not being as sweet or cheerful as the other girl(s).
 * The best way to assert yourself as a strong female lead is by sublimating your self-esteem issues into rampant bitchery and outbursts of physical violence. This may compound your communication failures, but no amount of talking will ever get through to those idiots anyway.
 * Political Correctness Gone Mad: Legitimately stupid attempts at Bowdlerization justify you saying whatever you want, no matter how offensive or bigoted!
 * Politically-Correct History: If you aren't a white, straight, cisgendered male, you did nothing noteworthy in any part of history regardless of all evidence to the contrary. All historical narratives must be written from only a white perspective because that is clearly the only one there is. If one white man didn't see it happen, it must not have happened. Therefore any non-white person or woman must be written out of existence or regulated to demeaning roles.
 * Everything you've been told about history or fiction you've seen set in history is all a big lie cooked up by a Strawman Political of one variety or the other, so don't even bother studying it.
 * Slash Fic: There is nothing wrong with objectifying people who are attracted to the same gender.
 * Sturgeon's Law: That story, picture, show, movie, or song that you worked hard to make and are very proud of? It probably sucks, and You Suck for making it. Chances are, your work is not in the 10% that is actually worthwhile, so just give up.
 * The Complainer Is Always Wrong: If all of your friends are doing drugs, you should too.
 * They Changed It, Now It Sucks: Don't like the fact that they changed something you liked? STFU! You're just a whiny fanboy.
 * This Loser Is You: You suck and we must let you know it.
 * Too Dumb to Live: If you just happened to make a stupid mistake at the wrong time, you deserved to die and your death should be seen as nothing but a big joke.
 * Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: If you are an ugly guy and you meet a wonderful girl who is smart, kind, successful, who shares your interests, and is also hot, STAY AWAY because you're awful, she's too good for you. Don't even think of proposing. It's disgusting, a match made in Hell. That marriage could never should never exist in Real Life.
 * Alternately, if you're a girl, don't dare to expect a romantic partner to be equally attractive. You're the eye candy, he gets to be funny and personable.
 * Underdogs Never Lose: You're fated to win any contest you enter, no matter how good you are - especially if your opponents are rich and snotty. (If you actually lose, it means that you are a villain and GOD HATES YOU.)
 * Hard Work Hardly Works: Practice is for losers. You're better off slacking off until a last minute Training Montage, in which you'll become nigh-undefeatable!
 * Unfortunate Implications: You should always interpret things in the worst possible way, even when they clearly were not intended in that way.
 * Anything you say or write will immediately be taken as offensive.
 * Oh, and only straight, cis-sexual, middle-aged, in no way foreign white men whose religious beliefs (or lack thereof) are unknown are allowed to be evil.
 * Unacceptable Targets: These groups aren't' allowed to be targeted anymore and are left alone...despite the fact that they still have to deal with prejudice everyday.
 * Unless of course you're a member of one of these groups, or you're an "in your face" comedian who's "being satirical". Self-Deprecation and satire are a carte blanche to say anything you want!
 * Unprovoked Pervert Payback: You took off your clothes knowing he was in the room and it's his fault.
 * Vocal Minority: If a small group of a people are also more vocal, that's the only part of the group. No exceptions.
 * The War On Straw: If you can't think of a good reason why your opponent is wrong, treat them as though they held a completely different position that is, in fact, wrong!
 * What Measure Is a Non-Cute?: Being outraged at some asshole killing dogs or cats for shits and giggles is just wrong and hypocritical because a lot of other animals you don't like as much are also dying/being abused in several ways and you can't do anything to stop it.
 * Where Da White Women At?: Black women are overbearing, unattractive, gold-digging, ball-busting harpies. Thus, Black men prefer White women.
 * And in case you're wondering, White man + Black Woman = Not possible. Ever. Doesn't exist.
 * Like the White/Asian counterpart, the reason why White man/Black woman doesn't exist in the media is based solely on alleged genital compatibility. And for those who still don't get it, big penis + small vagina = good / small penis + big vagina = bad. Simple as that.
 * White Male Lead: The reason most show have such a lead is because White people (White guys in particular) are racist, sexist morons who just can't relate to anyone who isn't White and male.
 * This trope has nothing to do with the fact that Most Writers Are Straight White Males who usually can't write about anybody other than themselves.
 * Wimpification: Becoming the Uke in fan-fic is demeaning, and horrible, and utterly derails your character. Who could possibly like that?
 * Straight men: If you have features or show interest in anything less than Testosterone Poisoning, you'll get screwed by a Seme and be forced to Flanderize yourself into a super-effeminate waif who's a complete doormat.
 * Bottoms are pussies.
 * Xtreme Kool Letterz: Poor literacy is KEWL!
 * Yandere: This is a desirable trait in your life partner...your female life partner. Male yanderes are always more yanyan than deredere.
 * You Have to Have Jews: Goyim who put this trope on a page, no matter how accurate it may be, are anti-Semitic bigots. No exception.