Deus Ex: Human Revolution/Funny

"Malik: What the hell, Jensen, I never said anything about killing him!
 * While talking to Pritchard at Sarif Industries, one of the offhand comments he'll make during the conversation is "Jensen, I know your body's been going through a lot of changes lately, but you didn't become a woman. Stay out of the ladies restroom." The unexpectedness of it was a real treat.
 * It's a Shout-Out to the first game. When you first visited the UNACTO HQ, you could go into the woman's restrooms, where a woman using it would chide you for being in there. Manderley would later chew you out for being in there during the first debriefing.
 * Even made more funny when you were sneaking into the Lady's Restroom to listen in on their chat only to then get berated with that comment.
 * "Dogmentation."
 * You can sucker punch anyone (excluding certain zones). That's right: anyone. A small taste.
 * If you perform a non-lethal double takedown behind two enemies, Jensen could end up kicking one of them in the back of the knee and quickly grabbing the second person and positioning them. The first person will stand back up and take a swing at Jensen, but ends up knocking out the second person. Then Jensen finishes the first person off with a few body shots and a hard throw to the floor.
 * The best for me is the "Hey You!" Haymaker. I always bust up laughing. Every time. To be entirely honest, half the reason I did a pacifist run as opposed to a killthrough was to see Jensen do this as often as possible.
 * Equally hilarious is the variant Adam does when he's facing someone. No special moves, he just hauls off and decks them.
 * Another one, hilarious in its brutal simplicity compared with other, more complex ones, is that Jensen just grabs the first target and headbutts him/her, then turns, grabs the second one, and headbutts him/her, and walks on.
 * Several of the two-person non-lethal takedowns start by your targets attacking Jensen first and him expertly countering their assaults. However, since you can do it on any two people, you're just as likely to counter two hardened security officers as street prostitutes.
 * What a shame.
 * Jensen's dance moves.
 * "Malik? Remind me to never piss you off."
 * From the same mission, if you kill rather than do as Faridah asks:

Adam: Would you believe me if I said it was an accident?"

"Malik: Jensen! Why did you do that? How exactly do you plan on out of someone who's unconscious!
 * Or if you knock him unconscious before talking to him:

Adam: Shit happens. I'm sorry."

"Adam Jensen: Something, something, Death and taxes. Confucius.
 * Omega Ranch is a secret facility of secret facilities. It's patrolled regularly by guards, robots, the best electronic security that you can get...and they still get spammed by Nigerian Scam emails.
 * Possibly due to how the security team keeps downloading animal porn and putting it on one of the scientists computers to mess with him.
 * After you hack into Pritchard's computer, you will see his email regarding to his rejected drama script from Picus TV. The producer doesn't like his script about a super hacker who saves the world via desktop (like himself) and suggests that characters such as vigilante ex-cops who fight crime while trying to maintain their morals (like Jensen) are more popular. No wonder why he don't like Jensen that much.
 * He warms up to him.
 * In, one employee complains via email that the out front looks like something out of a Bond movie and is a waste of money. Another employee simply retorts that "It looks cool."
 * On a side mission to find out about the death of Malik's friend, Adam Jensen has to meet with someone called Anonymous X and say the phrase "Death and Life have their determined appointments." To which he would reply "Riches and honor depend upon heaven." Adam comments it sounds like a bad spy movie but the real gem is when you meet with Anonymous X. Adam can be professional and say the phrase, he can be impatient and just demand Anonymous X to give Adam what he wants or he can be dismissive and the conversation goes as such:

Anonymous X: What? Wait, that- That's not it at all! That's not even close!

Adam Jensen: Does it matter?

Anonymous X: Of course it matters! Otherwise, how am I supposed to know you're- You were supposed to say 'death and life have their determined appointments'! Then I say 'riches and honor depend upon heaven'!

Adam Jensen: Okay. 'Death and life have their determined appointments'.

Anonymous X: Riches and hon- Oh nevermind! You ruined the whole thing!"

"Jensen: Nice hat. I'm here for Evelyn's autopsy report.
 * The best thing about Anonymous X is his #Chan hat.
 * As soon as Malik first says the name "Anonymous X", Jensen immediately asks "Anonymous?" and Malik says "Yeah..." in an exasperated tone as if saying "Yes, THAT Anonymous".
 * The real kicker is the way Jensen says the "Something, something" line. Which is to say that he delivers it with his usual dead-serious Guttural Growler tone.
 * Even more fantastic; take the third choice:

Anonymous X: What? Are you mad?!

Jensen: No, just impatient."

"Gang member: Rest in peace, Big Rizzle.
 * The capstone to the entire thing, though, is to pay off Anonymous X when he asks for his money, and then knock him out and take your cash back. There's no real reason to do this (you can just refuse to pay him and walk away over his protests) except because you can.
 * Finding a "Final Fantasy XXVII" poster in Pritchard's office and the  was a nice bit of self-referential humour from Square Enix.
 * Amusingly in the posters are in the barracks room of some soldier; that guy must be a serious geek when he isn't guarding a top secret facility for an evil conspiracy.
 * After Pritchard relays Jensen a message from, Jensen takes the opportunity to correct Pritchard's pronunciation of the word "" in the most condescending tone possible.
 * Just this:

Jensen: [completely uninterested] Yeah, rip."

"Mei: Tell your customers to get augmentations themselves and go fuck themselves!
 * In a brilliant case of The Dev Team Thinks of Everything, you might feel so inclined to break into all the officers at Sarif HQ to steal anything you can, especially when you get asked to investigate some offices. Well do that, then when  be sure to check your office e-mails.   You get asked to investigate but of course you find no leads.
 * Funny? I felt like crap...
 * Overhearing the argument between Mei and her manager at the Hung Hua Hotel will get you this:

Manager: I'm sure some of them already have..."

"O'Malley: Were you followed?
 * On the sidequest to rescue a kidnapped prostitute in Hengsha, Jensen has to talk to an informant who demands a bribe. If you refuse, he'll point out that you can't expect to just knock him out, as he doesn't just conveniently carry that information on him. If you do knock him out....he really won't have that information anywhere on him. On the other hand, after you pay him, there's nothing stopping you from knocking him out and getting your money back.
 * At the Omega Ranch, you can read elaborately-worded emails sent by an angry scientist complaining that someone keeps putting animal porn on his computer. He requests security help him catch the perpetrator. When you get further inside the Ranch, however, it becomes apparent that the security guards are the ones who keep pranking him. They also did something with his stapler.
 * Trying to use the Social Enhancer on Malik.
 * Absolutely anything involving vending machines or refrigerators. Especially this.
 * I once was out of ammo and health. So I picked up a vending machine and used it as a shield.
 * Acknowledged by the dev team!
 * Adam Jensen walks into a bar...
 * "Nice sunglasses. But it's night-time, you dig?" (note, the music doesn't actually play in the game itself.)
 * This Troper found a scientist still alive in the tutorial opening (right after the first firefight) who said that exact line, except Jensen hadn't been augmented yet. Also just the hilarity of how nonchalant he is during an invasion of black ops troops.
 * When Pritchard calls Jensen to bug him about an early mission if you've been roaming around instead of, you know, completing the objective, Jensen formally calls him "Francis".
 * When Jensen meets a corrupt cop (posing as a hired killer to murder a witness), one of the responses is pretty funny:
 * When Jensen meets a corrupt cop (posing as a hired killer to murder a witness), one of the responses is pretty funny:

Jensen: Yeah, by a clown and a midget for a while. But they eventually met the bearded woman they were looking for near a coffee shop and we went our seperate ways."

"Wisconsin cheese-eating champion dead of lactose intolerance.
 * One of the emails you read on the Omega Ranch is from the office administrator, who notes that people have been using equipment as benches due to a lack of chairs. After a long winded explanation of how the tensile strength is not enough to support a human's weight, he ends "In short, stop breaking shit with your fat asses. XOXOXO, The Management"
 * Some of the Picus news crawls are hilarious

"So You Think You Can Dodge Traffic" was pulled from the network today."

"Jensen: Tong! How did you get my frequency?
 * Anyone you end up bribing or otherwise paying money to can be immediately cold-cocked in the face to get your money back. You can even bypass the entire conversation/sidequest with Brian Tindell by simply rolling up to him while he's sitting there and whalloping him in the nose, then taking the recording from him. There's something just incredibly hilarious about Jensen waltzing up to a guy and just knocking him on his ass instead of fooling around with the usual RPG quest bullshit.
 * Take down the two drug dealers before you talk to him, then agree to help him. When Brian tells Adam the names of the drug dealers, Adam's response is along the lines of: "Wait, those guys? Yeah, they're actually out of the picture. They'd... already stepped on the wrong toes."
 * Lazarus is funny as hell in his role as the game's resident conspiracy Cassandra Truth spewer, and even though most of what he says has a creepy amount of truth to it, hearing him deliver practically every other line in most Large Ham manner possible is severely LOL worthy, with my personal favorites being his bit where he claims to be live from Eisenhower's tomb (whose occupant just rolled over) after a rant about the military industrial complex.
 * When Tong contacts you directly though your personal communications link:

Tong: Ancient Chinese secret."

"Jensen I'm looking for a man named Arie van Bruggen.
 * Tong in general is hilarious when he's playing dumb with Jensen...

Tong Never heard of him. What he do? Steal your girl? Owe you money?"

"Jensen Vasili Sevchenko.
 * Or...

Tong Never touch the stuff."


 * Windmill's apartment in Hengsha has a bunch of post-it notes stuck to his workstation. Several of them have girls' phone numbers on them along with doodles of the Forever Alone guy.
 * Everyone can get Jensen's frequency, from random hackers to crimelords. And he's always surprised.
 * In the Picus sub-basement you can find an email regarding their plans to discredit someone capable of exposing by forging and leaking an incriminating video. Said e-mail asks the recipient for input as to what the video will contain: "home porno or racist drug-induced violent episode?"