Salute Your Shorts/Funny

Season One
"Michael: What if Ug catches us?
 * In "Michael Comes to Camp":

Budnick: You'll get thrown out of camp.

Sponge: What if the girls catch up to us?

Budnick: They'll beat you up.

Michael: And what if we refuse to go at all?

Budnick: Donkeylips sits on your head and farts.

(Michael and Sponge look behind to see Donkeylips smugs.)

Michael: We'll do it!

Sponge: We'll do it, we'll do it!"

"Donkeylips: Whoa, power puke!"
 * Sponge throwing up:

"Telly: I always knew he was a melon head. This just proves it.
 * In "Zeke the Plumber", the gang tries to scare Budnick but fails with hilarious results. What they thought was Budnick was a dummy with a melon for a head. The girls scream in horror when it fell.

Z.Z.: He's probably out there. Laughing at how stupid we look.

Telly: Budnick, you're such an idiot! You should know that you can't scare people with your stupid pranks!

(A hand comes out of a trash can and grabs Dina. The girls run scared and screaming.)

Budnick: (coming out of the trash can) HA HA HA! I'm the master of the universe! Nobody can scare me!"

"Sponge: I should have seen it coming!
 * Michael and Sponge try to scare Budnick with fake ghosts, only to trip on his soda trap.

Michael: Budnick, you idiot!

Budnick: HA HA HA HA! The winner and still champion! I'm not afraid! Nobody can scare me! HA HA HA HA! Come on out. Its the big parade of losers! Loser, loser, loser, loser... and loser!"

"Ug: There is a very deep hole in the middle of my infield. Eventually, the hole will fill up with water and the SCUM will float to the top! Then, Bobby Budnick, you will be mine!"
 * In "The Treasure of Sarah Madre", Donkeylips's shovel hits metal, and Budnick thinks it is the treasure after all. He continues to dig until it turns out to be a water main, which starts spraying water everywhere. The other kids run away, leaving Budnick to face the wrath of Ug, who has just found out that there is a large hole in the middle of the infield...

"Donkeylips: What happened here?!
 * He was about to pose for a picture in the field, which he had spent the entire previous day trimming with a pair of scissors and a ruler so that every blade of grass was the same length.
 * Dina's dialogue: "C'mon Budnick, you're our friend! And you can't put money over friendship! Oh, listen to me!"
 * In "Bunk Chief Elections", Dina and Telly got into an argument, which escalated into a pie fight. They accidentally throw a pie on Ug, so they quickly leave just as the boys return to find the kitchen a mess.

Ug: (a pie on his face) I'll tell you what happened!

Budnick: Ug! You don't think we did this, do you Ug?

Ug: Of course....I do. Do you got your toothbrushes? (the boys pull out their toothbrushes) Now, I want you all to scrub the floors. (hands them towels) Scrubs. (throws another towel on the kitchen table and walks off)"

"Ug: Oh, so Sponge is the only one who didn't get out his bunk?"
 * In "The Radio Call-In Contest":
 * "No, sorry honey, I can't see you tonight. Because I'm blue. No, not sad blue. Blue blue. Toilet bowl blue!"
 * Ug demands to know who got out of their bunks during curfew. Everyone stands up, except for Sponge who fell asleep for staying up all night.

"Ug: I happen to be one of the finest woodsmen since Betty Crocker.
 * "He's just as dumb as me."
 * This dialogue in "Brownies for Thud Mackie":

Z.Z.: You mean Davy Crockett.

Ug: Yeah, him too."

"Michael: And here's Ug to tell you what happens if you eat too much of the food here:
 * This part in Budnick's video:

[cuts to a recording of Ug talking about a poisonous plant]

Ug: It causes stomach pain and vomiting, and paralysis to the central nervous system."

"Z.Z.: Maybe it's a species of lima bean.
 * During lunch in "Donkeylips and Sponge Weigh-In":

Michael: I don't think lima beans have little twitching legs.

Dina: Either this is some kind of sauce or my bratwurst is sweating.

Budnick: Hi guys. I come bearing good news.

Z.Z.: They hung the chef?

Z.Z.: Look at it this way: cleaning up camp helps the environment!

Budnick: Look at it this way: zip it!"

"Sponge: How could you be so dumb?
 * On the floor looking for the missing change.

Donkeylips: It's not my fault, it's my pocket's fault!

Sponge: You owned the pants, you own your pocket, it's your fault!

Donkeylips: No! My mom brought the pants, it's her fault!"

Season Two
"Sponge: TheyDon'tLiveHereAnymore, stop calling! They're all dead! (slams receiver)"
 * In "Sponge Goes to the Movies", Sponge's attempt to dissuade a caller of the public phone whose booth he's trying to hide in:

"Dina: (entering) What are you doing?!
 * Donkeylips hides from Ug in the girls' restroom with Dina, who slaps him.
 * Sponge and Pinsky, members of the computer club, come up with a revolutionary way to communicate with another nearby summer camp using cutting edge early 90s technology... and it's a phone line run through the computer (camp rules forbid phone activity by a camper without a counselor's consent). Sponge steps out for a bit, and Pinsky goes nuts with it. But then...

(Pinsky doesn't take his eyes off the computer)

Pinsky: I'm just talking on the-- (looks toward the door and promptly realizes the horrible mistake he's made)

Dina: A PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! (cue montage of other campers stampeding towards the cabin)"

"Z.Z.: Well what does your letter say, Pinsky?
 * In "Anawanna Inc.", while the kids are going through mail sent by their parents:

Pinsky: Actually... nothing. This is the letter that I sent them. It says "moved, no forwarding address." ...Should I worry about this?"

"Dina: Food is not art!
 * In "They Call Me Ms. Tibbs":

Donkeylips: What about The Last Supper?"