The Mighty Boosh/Funny

The funniest, silliest moments from The Mighty Boosh

"Vince: How far back? 70's? 60's?
 * In the power of the crimp, Lance Dior and Harold Boom tell Vince that the future is out, and that they must look to the past for inspiration.

Howard: (hopefully) 50's?

Vince: Don't be ridiculous, Howard!"

"Howard: What would Mick Jagger do?
 * Howard and Vince discuss heroes:

Vince: He'd probably just do this (does chicken dance)"

"Bollo: That is Chinko. He was my friend. We were raised together in the forest. My father say, don't go to edge of forest! but every day, Chinko would say, please, please Bollo can we go to edge of forest? then, finally one day (pause) I chopped his head off"
 * Bollo recounts his childhood:

"Oooooo, I'm a cockney nutjob! E' slashes one way! E' slashes another! E' even slashes diagonal! E's like connect four, in DAGGER terms!"
 * The Hitcher.

"Do you like bailey's? I got some. I can give you Bailey's. Mmmmmm creamy!"
 * Old Gregg.

"Howard: Roaring fire. Cup of tea. What more do you need eh?
 * New Wave: Combining elements of the past and the future to make something not quite as good as either...
 * This gem, from 'Call of the Yeti':

Vince: MTV.

Howard: Listen, Vince, what can you hear?

Vince: Your cells dying."

"Howard: Hi, It's me, Howard Moon, we spoke on the phone this morning?
 * From the same episode:

Kodiak Jack: The Hwat?

Howard: You know, the telephone?

Kodiak Jack: Ohhhh, the talkie stick, your voice got trapped inside it this morning"

"I am Sunflaaaaash. I am from the futaaa."
 * From the 'Live Future Sailors' tour:

"It's mixture of chinese and chav. I call it chavese"
 * And:

"Howard: Killed a swan today. Did a shit on it. (beat) Right on it."
 * "CRIMPETY CRIMPETY FUCK YOU."
 * The entirety of Nanageddon, but a few gems stand out.

"Naboo: You've gone too far this time. I'm going to have to turn my back on you. [revolves on the spot, while a guitar riff plays]
 * And:

Vince: Aw, come on Naboo!

(beat)

Naboo: [faces Vince and Howard again, while the guitar riff finishes] Let that be a lesson to you."

"Naboo: You know what's coming. Bollo, hold his arms.
 * This happened a couple of times, the earlier one went something like this:

Howard: No, don't be silly Naboo! no you don't have to do this! Vince! Vince! Vinceeee! Nooooooooooooo!

(Naboo turns his back on them, while Howard sobs hysterically)"

"Howard: (after Vince tries to rescue him and fails) Well, I appreciate the gesture, but it was a bit of a wasted journey wasn't it? did you bring anything? Like a gun. Or a fork?"
 * Howard's elbow patches. That is all
 * Women like trumpets and bookmarks!
 * "When an young... ah, kitten, and he in a bag, and I make him go, and I flat him out!!" Such a Crowning Moment of Funny, in fact, that Julian and Noel themselves could hardly keep straight faces.
 * From 'Bollo':

"Howard: Howard Moon, colon, explorer.
 * Howard envisaging seeing his name in a newspaper:

Vince: COLON EXPLORER? That's got a slightly odd ring to it, don't you think?"

"Old Gregg: I did home economics. I got an A+ . I made a crumble. My teacher said mine was the best one."
 * Mention must be made of the episode where Howard gets kidnapped by a mysterious sea monster with webbed hands and a "mangina" who lures him back to his cave and shows him his watercolour paintings. They sing a song about playing "Love Games" and Gregg tries to get Howard, his "fuzzy little man-peach" to marry him.

"Naboo: Quick thing about hash cakes, have just one, wait an hour, see how you feel. Don't have fifteen at once, because you will see the devil, and he will try and tear your heart out through your kneecaps."
 * The hash cakes bit:

"Howard: So alone. Wind my only friend.
 * Howard tests out his pitch for the Survivor Patch.
 * When Howard has his first ever kiss... with Vince. Howard thinks he has fallen in love, but his feelings go away when he spots the girl he has a crush on. Vince feels personally hurt, until some random girl comes in and says hi and he gets over it. Then they jump on the bouncy castle. "Bouncy bouncy, Ooh such a good time!"
 * Howard's last Arctic journal entry:

The Wind: I hate you.

Howard: Shut up, Wind!"

"Spirit: Ow, chicka chicka ow... oww! Man, my hat's on fire! Are you blind?! Why didn't you tell me?!
 * "Argh! I've got bunches!!"
 * The Electro episode. This exchange between the Spirit of Jazz and Howard.

Howard: Sorry. I thought that was your look.

Spirit: No, it ain't my look! Spoiled my exit now. Tryin' to do you a favour.

He exits, then walks back past Howard thirty seconds later.

Spirit: Ain't no door back there. It's a toilet."

"This is the Number 2, OK? He runs a coffee shop. And this is the Number 9. And 9 is a customer, right? And one day 9 goes in and 2 goes, "I don't have a coffeehouse no more. I have a knife fighting academy." And Number 9 goes, "I want coffee!" And Number 2 goes, "No, I'm gonna slice you! AND LEARN HOW TO SLICE OTHERS." And 9 goes, "I can't, I gotta get out of here!" And 2 goes, "I LOCKED THE DOOR.""
 * Bob Fossil's unhinged explanation of why he can't give Howard and Vince a gig at his club.

"Bollo: I'll crush you!
 * An exchange between Bollo and Tony Harrison from a deleted scene (from memory, may not be entirely accurate)

Tony: With what?

Bollo: With my hands!

Tony: (worried) Right..."

"Naboo: Who are you?
 * "Some say Old Gregg painted his pubes yellow so he can read in the bed."
 * "I'M EVIL, BRIXTON! I'M....I'M A KNOB!!"
 * The Hitcher and Naboo meeting in the live show.

Hitcher: They call me....The Hitcher (does pose)

(Spotlight goes on him and short jazzy tune plays)

Naboo: Is that your theme tune?

Hitcher: No it fucking ain't."