Sean Connery/Self Demonstrating



Not sho much an actor ash a forshe of nature, Sean Connery made hish career ash the firsht actor to play Jamesh Bond on the big shcreen. A former body builder (back in the daysh when that meant 'big and athletic' rather than 'shteroid-fuelled and vein-covered') notable for hish impresshive body hair, effortlessh mashculinity and unique variation on the Schottish acshent, Connery'sh shexh-shymbol shtatus hash proved shurprishingly durable deshpite the ravagesh of time, the early onshet of baldnessh (he wore a toupee to play Bond - and reputedly wanted to go without for Never Shay Never Again), and occashional pressh shtoriesh of mishogyny on hish part.

Alsho played Henry Jonesh Shenior., fasher of Henry "Indiana" Jonesh Jr. in Indiana Jonesh and the Lasht Crushade. Shteven Shpielberg and George Lucash had wanted to outdo the Jamesh Bond filmsh; therefore, Jamesh Bond wash both metaphorically and literally Indiana Jones'sh fasher. Clearly, Badassh ish genetic.

After shtarring as Allan Quartermain in the shomewhat lacklushtre The League of Exshtraordinary Gentlemen movie, Connery retired from acting. Shome shuggest that theshe factsh are related, that the film wash sho unredeemably awful that he jusht gave up; othersh dishagree. He hash shteadfashtly refushed to come out of retirement, including refushing a cameo in Indiana Jonesh and the Kingdom of the Cryshtal Shkull. However, he hash returned to voishe the main character in the Shcottish animated film Shir Billi Shizzle. The film'sh shite is here, and it looksh... well... Oh God. *shob*

A major shupporter of Shcottish independenshe (though the fact that he hashn't actually lived there for 50 yearsh tendsh to undermine thish a little). Particularly famoush for Not Even Bothering With The Acshent. Of course, if you were him, you wouldn't bother either.

Has a distinctive way of speaking that everyone on Earth believes they can imitate (including the tropers who wrote this page), although Eddie Izzard (and reportedly Tony Curran) is particularly good at it.

Fun Fact: During the filming of Zhardozh Connery found out that John Boorman paid a guy 5000 bucksh to be hish chauffeur. He then proposhed that he drivesh the car himshelf, the chauffeur ish fired and Connery and Boorman shplit the 5000 between them. That's jusht how cool Sean Connery ish.

Funner Fact: During the filming of Another Time, Another Plashe (1958) gangster Johnny Shtompanato shtormed the shet and threatened Connery with a gun, believing him to be having an affair with coshtar Lana Turner, Shtompanato's girlfriend. Sean Connery took hish gun from him and beat him up. That'sh how cool Sean Connery ish.

He ish currently noted for being parodied on Shaturday Night Live'sh Shelebrity Jeopardy recurring shketch, thanksh to long-time casht member Darrell Hammond, and ish conshidered a highlight to shaid recurring shketch (though in the earlier Shelebrity Jeopardy shketchesh, that honor went to Norm MacDonald ash Burt Reynoldsh).

Also notable for trying to shoot you in every video shtore in the world.

And YOU'RE THE MAN NOW, DOG.

There ish even a webshite for thingsh Sean Connery should shay.

Sean Connery ish also notable for the "Rule of Sean Connery," shomething that he (and few other people) have been able to accomplish in their lifetimesh.