Don't Do Anything I Wouldn't Do

Alice and Bob are about to part ways for a while. Alice is going to be alone in a situation, possibly her first time in such a situation, and Bob feels compelled to give advice, so he tells her, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Can go one of a few ways. It may make Alice seriously consider, What Would Bob Do? Depending on the situation, Alice may be wondering if there is anything Bob wouldn't do. Occasionally, in these situations, Bob may realize this and correct the phrase to "Don't do anything I would do."

Film
"Freakshow: Just don't do anything the good Lord wouldn't do."
 * Come See the Paradise
 * Gosford Park
 * Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle

"Rachel Flax: Don't do anything I wouldn't do! Or don't do anything I would!"
 * Little Manhattan
 * Mermaids

"Sidney Falco: Don't do anything I wouldn't do! That gives you a lot of leeway..."
 * Sweet Smell of Success


 * The Munsters' Revenge

Literature

 * Discworld's Nanny Ogg: "Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do."

Live Action TV
"Miss Gatsby: And don't do anything *we* wouldn't do!
 * Fawlty Towers

Basil: Oh, of course not. Just some light breathing..."

"Al: Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And if you do, take pictures."
 * Married... with Children episode "No Pot to Pease In"
 * Quantum Leap

"Major Burns: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.
 * Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode "Treachery, Faith, and the Great River"
 * The Facts of Life episode "Sex Symbol"
 * The League of Gentlemen
 * When Castle's teenage daughter is going to the prom he tells her date "Don't do anything I would do."
 * Steve Austin says this to Goldberg when he gives him a ticket to 2004's No Way Out. That pretty much translates as "Go ahead and kick Brock Lesnar's ass, he deserves it".
 * In Sex and the City, Samantha's boyfriend Smith is about to leave for a work-related venture. Samantha tells him not to do anything she wouldn't, to which he wryly repsonds "What things don't you do?" Samantha: "There are some things.... Karaoke. I don't do that."
 * MASH:

Colonel Potter: Major, I wouldn't want to do anything you would do!"


 * The Cosby Show: When Theo is about to head out to his Senior Prom he assures Cliff "I won't do anything you wouldn't do." Cliff responds, "Just remember: I married my prom date."

Professional Wrestling
"Vince McMahon: There isn't a damn thing you wouldn't do!"
 * In WWE, Stone Cold Steve Austin said this to Goldberg when handing him a ticket to the No Way Out pay-per-view in 2004, in which Goldberg's enemy Brock Lesnar was defending the WWE Championship. The problem with this was soon afterward lampshaded by Vince McMahon:

Video Games

 * World of Warcraft: When a warlock dismisses a pet succubus, she sometimes says this line before disappearing.

Web Comics

 * Inverted in this strip of Doonesbury: "Don't do anything I would do!"