Kesha/WMG

"Stephen" is an homage to Stephen King.
Compare the lyrics of "Stephen" to King's Misery. Hm...

Ke$ha is actually a robot.
She sounds like one...
 * Or a Vocaloid...
 * This troper thinks she's just a very human-like synthesizer.
 * Alternatively...

Ke$ha is on the autistic spectrum.

 * As a spectrum; isn't everyone technically on it?

Ke$ha appears to be a robot, but is not.
Her use of Auto-Tune and occasional robotic dance movements aside, she could not be a robot. In fact, true robots don't actually use Auto-Tune (at least not to the extent of, say, Ke$ha or T-Pain). Because the only people who can make robot singers looking exactly like humans are none other than the good Mad Scientists at Disney. What Ke$ha has is the personality of a robot that glitched and rejected the persona that Disney made for her as time went by (see Miley Cyrus). She never had the squeaky-clean personality to glitch, therefore not a robot.

"Take It Off" is about a bizarre, twisted sex cabaret, and Ke$ha is the Mistress of Ceremonies.
Sounds like it.

Ke$ha is the result of relationship between a woman and a Dalek.
This of course begs the question of who is the Doctor...
 * Oh, that's obvious. Ra-rah, ah-ah-aah, ro-ma-roma-mah...

Ke$ha is actually a completely sober business woman.
And she cackles while counting her money.

Ke$ha is Trolling the music industry.
Sort of related to the above theory, she's secretly a genius and her entire shtick is over the top Stealth Parody that's supposed to be So Bad It's Good. Despite (or perhaps because of) the hatred she gets from Lady Gaga fans, the two of them probably get together often so they can drink tea, discuss Classic Literature, and laugh about how much smarter they are than everyone else.
 * If anything, true because of how smart she is. Near-perfect SAT score and got into Columbia University.... and didn't go to troll the music industry.
 * She and 3OH!3 who have similar academic histories are scheming to take over the world.
 * The large parodic references to Shakira's "When Ever, Where Ever", in "Take It Off" seem to imply this is probably the case.

Ke$ha's blood is made of alcohol.
Even though she has near-perfect SAT scores but doesn't sound very smart suggesting constant intoxication.

Ke$ha's glow in the dark costume isn't make-up.
Its actually what she really looks like, she comes from another planet where its dark 24/7 and people glow in weird patterns like that, she has to cover it up with normal make up when going out in the dark.

Ke$ha's next music video will involve either clay/Claymation, pencils, or charcol.
Well, first she did (body) paint in "Your Love Is My Drug", and now "Take It Off" is full of technicolor chalk dust. Clearly those are the only standard visual art-types left that you can spread all over your body!

Ke$ha/her music video director has a sexual fetish for colors.
It explains so much!

Ke$ha is Squirrel Girl.
Because the thought of her attacking people with an army of squirrels is so damn funny.

"Tik Tok" is a song about an alcoholic teen.
The teen sings about her fantasies about being a world-class party girl, but you get a small glimpse of what her party/drinking life is actually like. "You build me up/You break me down/My heart, it pounds/Yeah, you got me/With my hands up".
 * Duh?
 * Sorry to break it to you, but those lyrics are from Your Love Is My Drug. Check the bottom WMG.
 * No, those lyrics are indeed from Tik Tok see here

Ke$ha is a follower of Slaanesh.
It's obvious, judging from her drunken behavior, and she's already begun to mutate, judging from numerous lyrics hinting that she has a penis. ("Turn around and let me hit that", anyone?)
 * Well, according to this she thinks she's a psyker...

Ke$ha is a Time Traveler stuck in a Groundhog Peggy Sue loop.
Lets look at this objectively. Kesha, once upon a time, was apparently a genius student who solved complex math problems for fun. She aced the SATs before taking a random left turn into pop music, and has shown her self to be significantly more intelligent than she would otherwise appear. Just like characters in Groundhog Peggy Sue loops often do in fanfiction. She's probably spent decades trying to get things 'right' only to realize there is no 'right answer' to get out of the loop, and ultimately she's better off just having fun. We're just lucky we ended up in the loop where she's the Pop Diva Ke$ha instead of Kesha, Supreme Empress of the Keshian Empire who ushered in a thousand years of Darkness while taking over the world.

Ke$ha reads TV Tropes.
Recall those WMGs and posts about her/Lady Gaga escaping from an anime where music is Serious Business? Well, in the newest "Take It Off" video, she pretty much confirms that.
 * And the video for "Blow" takes it Up to Eleven. It is, essentially, Scott Pilgrim crossed with Robot Unicorn Attack. This combination is exactly as insane as it sounds.

The song "Grow A Pear" is a Stealth Pun.
Pussy = Slang for wimpy. ...Geddit?

Ke$ha is actually a wizard, and her video "Take It Off" (K$ n' Friends version) depicts the Diagon Alley club scene.
The wild and eccentric outfits are what the young wizards these days are wearing. Jeffree Star's chainsaw functions as his wand, and Ke$ha must be very powerful if she can use spells herself without a wand. Also, during the video many people give their faces animal features, while Ke$ha shows the ability to turn into a jaguar. That particular nightclub might be Animagus-only?

Ke$ha once swallowed a tiny computer.
Let's be honest. It's why her voice so Auto-Tuned. Besides that would be hilarious.

Run Devil Run is a true story.
Ke$ha accidentally made a deal with the devil, probably for singing talent, at some point. The reason she gets no respect is that, well, she got it from the devil.

Run Devil Run is actually about The Doctor
. This theory lends credence to the idea that Ke$ha has, at some point, been one of the Doctor's companions (possibly shedding some disturbing light on the "offspring of a human and a Dalek" WMG mentioned above). Quite a lot of the lyrics seem to fit the general tone of a companion describing the man, particularly after having been left behind. The reference to "stealing his car" is representative of her desire to find the TARDIS again. And the chorus / repeated lines of "Run / devil (repeat as many times as necessary)" along with the whole "Gonna be some hell to pay" and "Dancing with the dark" (dancing being one of the Doctor's...ahem...favourite activities, running being probably his most common hobby) all suggests much the same. So there we have it. That's why she's a bit odd.
 * Demons run when a good man goes to war...

Ke$ha is a gay man.
Listen to some of her lyrics. "Boys trying to touch my junk" hints at it. "We R Who We R" is about gay teen suicides supposedly. Also, "Turn around boy let me hit that" only works if she has a penis.
 * Or if she owns a strap-on or two.
 * Possibly she means "the junk in her trunk"? Also, the "hit that" line could mean she has a strap-on, as the previous Troper said, or possibly Ke$ha is into a bit of good ol'-fashioned S&M and means "hit that" literally.
 * She "wakes up in the morning feeling like P Diddy." i.e.: She does a lot of drugs, has sex with hookers, and like most rappers, she has a penis. She likes guys who look like Mick Jagger because he used to look androgynous and was rumored to be bisexual at one point. The reason she has to "fight until we see the sunlight" is because people try to beat her up when they realize she's a guy. Finally, at the bridge when she sings "you raise me up, you break me down, my heart it pounds, yeah you got me," is referring to the boost and bust of her self-esteem of when guys show interest in her but realize she's a guy and reveals it to people in public.

Ke$ha is Creedence from Troll 2.
She's here to exact here revenge upon the world. Replace the popcorn scene with glitter.

Ke$ha is a slightly altered Taylor Swift clone.
Taylor's record label was making a lot of from her music and the other record companies wanted a piece of the action. Her label, being the nice guys they are, decided to make some slightly altered Taylor clones for the other labels. Of course, they didn't make them as talented. Hence Ke$ha was born as a drunken Swift with an Auto-Tune implant.

The music video for "Blow" is a parody of "Born This Way".
"Born This Way" is highly surreal music video about it being okay to be gay, and has lots of gay symbolism and women dressed as men dressed as women. "Blow" has one gay symbol (unicorns) bleeding another (rainbows) while Ke$ha takes the surrealism to levels so high Word of God has admitted that trying to get it is niearly impossible. And James Van Der Douche is wearing a bra.
 * The video for "Blow" is significantly older than the video for "Born This Way", and the actual "Born This Way" song doesn't really have much content to parody (though Weird Al managed to do it).

Ke$ha is a double agent hired by Conor Oberst and a secret society of hipsters to bring down the popular music industry.
I mean, the girl can sing when she's not Auto-Tuned to shit, her mom has Indie cred which has been passed down to her, and her next album... Well, polka death metal? I think she's trying to break the brains of everyone in the mainstream, and I kinda wanna see what happens next.
 * Hipsters are more main stream than Ke$ha.

Ke$ha is a former Decepticon.
She was supposed to infiltrate human society as The Mole, but she ended up Becoming the Mask and decided to troll the music industry instead. The Autobots are terrified of her and the Decepticons are too embarrassed to admit she was ever one of them, which is why neither faction has made any attempts to stop her.

In Tik Tok, when she sings "Grab my glasses, I'm out the door" I'm assuming she means sunglasses.
But it would kinda rock if she meant regular glasses and a hard aversion of Brainy Specs/ Nerd Glasses. Think about it, a hard-partying glitter-girl in coke-bottles. Yeah...

Ke$ha is the Ashley Tisdale from an Alternate Universe where The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and High School Musical didn't become quite as successful.
Seriously, they look and sound so much alike it's not even funny; it's hard to tell one from the other in their collaboration "Boy Like You" unless you listen closely.

It could be presumed that in this alternate universe, Ashley was fired by Disney Channel, went to a bar to drown her sorrows, became obsessed with drinking, and eventually decided to take a "singing" career under the stage name of Ke$ha when she found an interdimensional portal that led her to the universe we live in, and the rest is history.
 * You shouldn't trust everything you see on youtube. Boy Like You was a demo with just Ke$ha. Ashley Tisdale is nowhere on that track.

Ke$ha really is that stupid.
There's no way anybody could be that obfuscatingly stupid.
 * That explains why she got near perfect SAT scores Because she really is that stupid.

Ke$ha is(was) the Hyde to Amy Winehouse's Jekyll
Think about it. These two are such distaff counterparts it's not even funny. Amy Winehouse recognises her alcoholism issue and struggles with it, her songs are usually dark and morbid, her singing is flawless and she is a mature adult. Meanwhile, Ke$ha takes pride in her alcoholism and is absolutely carefree about it, her songs are childish and extremely happy, her singing is quite bad and she is very immature.

It's not inconceivable that Amy Winehouse's struggles with alcoholism forced her to develop a split persona, wherein she takes pride of her alcoholism. The two personas could not coexist for long, and eventually Ke$ha took over. Amy Winehouse died so that Ke$ha could live.
 * This troper above, is way too much of an Amy Winehouse fan. Who wants to blame her problems on Kesha. Shame shame shame

Your love is my drug is about a teenager (17 but still under parent's rule) who is in love with a qualified adult, thather parents don't like.
Most likely 30 judging by the actor in the music video.