Warrior (Comic Book)

""...The higher self knows only to guard the self from the damage weapons of emotion can sometimes cause. Survival by its protection, my destiny has been to be who I am -- WARRIOR!""

- Excerpt from the intro to the comic.

Warrior was a short lived comic by Team Warrior (conceived and written by WWE wrestler Ultimate Warrior, with Jonathan D. Smith, James Callahan and The Sharp Boys on the art department). It depicts the adventures of the Warrior, his quest to master the philosophy of "Destrucity" and travels through the Terrain of Testament to set right what was wronged. On the surface, it sounds like a simple story, but deep down it is a horribly mangled combination of Michael Moorcock inspired fantasy, Sun Tzu styled ramblings, bad artwork a la Rob Liefeld and a convoluted plot that makes the ending of Neon Genesis Evangelion look simple in comparison.

Not related to the 2011 film.

Warrior provides examples of:

 * Author Filibuster: The comic is meant to elucidate the reader on Warrior's bizarre mystical-reactionary Clap Your Hands If You Believe philosophy.
 * Art Shift: Happens in Issue #4 due to James Callahan being replaced by the Sharp Boys.
 * Ax Crazy: Warrior.
 * Bleep, Dammit!: Warrior yells F-F-U-U-C-- at one point of the story.
 * Chewing the Scenery: The comic does it's best to emulate Warrior's acting.
 * Clap Your Hands If You Believe: The comic basically boils down to this: reality is at least partly subjective, and stuff we think and believe has as much power over reality as what we do. In other words, his personal philosphy is this trope.
 * Cut Short: The comic only lasted for four issues, not counting the Christmas special.
 * Don't You Dare Pity Me!: When Warrior returns from the hospital, his butler gives him his wheelchair in order to help him relax. Warrior flips out at this and tosses the wheelchair into the stratosphere.
 * Eldritch Location: The Terrain of Testament.
 * Fauxlosophic Narration: The comics filled with the Warrior's very own "philosophy", that is completely nonsensical.
 * Grand Theft Me: An evil version of Warrior from the Terrain of Testament takes over the Warrior's body in the real world....supposedly.
 * Invincible Hero: Warrior.
 * Journey to the Center of the Mind: Maybe. Depending on the nature of the Terrain of Testament.
 * Meaningless Meaningful Words: Complete with unnecessary ellipses, Precision F Strikes and made up phrases.
 * Mind Screw: Not only is it not clear what exactly the overall story is supposed to be about, the artwork makes the transition from panel to panel very awkward.
 * Money, Dear Boy: Not surprisingly, this comic was nothing more than a marketing gimmick to promote Warrior's big ego. At one point, an ad was posted for artists who were willing to work on the comic without any pay.
 * Narrating the Obvious: Whenever the narration does makes sense, it's this.
 * Negative Continuity: The story between the different issues is only barely connected, with unexplained changes between settings and characters.
 * Perfectly Cromulent Word: Destrucity, Foke, Jet-Jack.
 * Portmanteau: Destrucity is the truce between destiny and reality; in other words, staying true to what you are right now while striving for your ultimate destiny.
 * Purple Prose: And how!
 * Random Events Plot: What little plot there is in this series is either completely random or symbolic to the point of being incomprehensible.
 * Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Warrior's quest is to, among other things, take revenge on the demons who beat him up at the beginning of the story. Unfortunately, we never find out who these demons are or why they are attacking Warrior in the first place
 * Unsound Effect: SKRONK.
 * Wall of Text: The comic has three narrations. One for the Warrior's aggressive side, one for his philosophical side and one for his thoughts.
 * Word Salad Philosophy: The comic book was essentially a long promotional tract for his philosophical ideas.
 * "Destrucity" is the "truce between one's destiny and one's reality".... and that's about it in terms of this philosophy making any sense.