Evolution (film)/Funny

"Alison: Can we get you anything? Do you need anything?
 * "There's always time for lubricant!"
 * "ITS IN MEEEEEE!!!"
 * From the same scene:

Harry: Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream, please.

Alison: Yeah? What flavour?

Harry: It doesn't matter. It's for my ass."

"Dr. Paulson: We might have to amputate. (grabs a surgical saw)

Harry: Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Ira, don't let them take my leg.

Ira: Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete.

Nurse Tate: Doctor, look!

Dr. Paulson: It's headed for his testicles!

(Beat)

Harry: Take it! Take it!! TAKE THE LEG!!"

"Ira: Cut him open, let's get this thing!

Harry: Cut me open?! There goes your Christmas gift, Judas!"

"Harry: Wayne, I think we've established that "Ka-Kaw Ka-Kaw" and "Tukki Tukki" don't work.
 * This scene, full stop. Somehow, the comic timing between Stifler, Dr. Lee and Agent Mulder melds into something unearthly yet full of lulz. The fact that Harry is almost completely and utterly deadpan throughout just sells it.

Wayne: (sheepish) Right. Sorry.

(After a short while, he starts singing into the mic, to the utter disbelief of Ira and Harry)

Wayne: (singing) You are so beautiful, to meeee...

Ira: ...Step back, Harry, I'm gonna shoot him.

Harry: Uh-uh, stand down! I'm taking this one out myself."

"Harry: Mazel tov, it's a boy!"
 * It works.
 * Ira's "fruit basket" for General Woodman.
 * Harry
 * {After the dragon alien barfs up its eggsac}

"Harry: IT'S HOR-R-R-RIBLE IN HERE!"
 * Harry getting sucked into the giant alien's ass.

"Ira: If I was a giant nasty alien bird in a department store, where would I be?
 * Not to mention when Ira finally pries him out, Harry shouts, "Don't you EVER tell anyone where I've been!"

Harry: Lingerie.

Ira: Not you, the bird.

Harry: ...Lingerie!"

"Ira: Last night as I was grading papers, I came across two gems both entitled "Cells are Bad" and both with just one paragraph which I unfortunately committed to memory: "Cells are bad. My uncle lives in a cell. It's ten foot by twelve and he has to read the same boring old magazine everyday. The end.""
 * Deke and Danny's hilariously bad science papers:

"General Woodman: With napalm. Lots and lots of napalm."
 * Though he's seriously a jackass, this troper can't help but crack up when the General explains how to kill the alien.