Megas XLR/Funny

"Coop: (picking up a piece of scrap pipe) How much for this?
 * The very circumstances as to how the robot got to early 2000s New Jersey in the first place - it landed in a junkyard in 1944 and sat under a pile of junk for 60 years - are bad enough, but Coop found it in the "$2.00" pile.

Goat: Let's see here...two bucks.

Coop: (brandishing a larger chunk of scrap metal) How about this?

Goat: (annoyed) Two bucks.

Coop: (holding a 55-gallon drum of nuclear waste) Hey, how about this?

Goat: (annoyed, strained) Two dollars.

Coop: (a length of cables in one hand) How about--

Goat: Two! Bucks! Anything in that pile: two bucks. I doubt that whole pile is worth more than two bucks...

(An elated Coop pulls on the first piece of junk he finds, causing a junk avalanche and revealing the busted up MEGAS prototype)

Coop: Whoa~ what's that?

Goat: No idea.

Coop: Two bucks, huh? I'll take it!"

"REGIS MK-V:
 * And the first time he flew over said junkyard after finding the robot, Goat looked up and screamed, "Where's my two bucks?!" Coop never paid him the two bucks.
 * The entire confrontation with the REGIS MK-V, in which Coop counters the REGIS's Ominous Latin Chanting and robotic hamminess with one-shots out of annoyance and biting sarcasm.

Coop: Mock *slams a button on his controls* this!


 * MEGAS throws a Hadouken, blasting a hole through the middle of it.*"

"REGIS MK-V: Stand aside or you will be struck down. [Beat] Die then. [uses Eye Beams to slice off the top] None shall stand in the way of REGIS Mark 5!"
 * REGIS faces off against the first foe who dares oppose him... a fire hydrant.

"Coop: Well maybe you'll like this better, then!
 * What's especially hilarious is that the only reaction to the above is a bunch of kids running over to play in the water, oblivious to the killer robot.
 * Coop's controls in MEGAS get their share, too, with the "Missiles" - "More Missiles" - "All The Missiles" combo, the "You heard him, folks - Super Destructor Mode" button, and one conveniently labeled, "Five Minutes Left in the Show". But few have as much humor as this:


 * Coop hits a button labeled .*"

"Kiva: Just so we're on the same page, smashing bad.
 * Also, Coop hates the DMV. We mean, REALLY hates it.
 * The absolute best moment has be during the REGIS MK-V episode. After being told by Kiva to try something different, which he does we get the following:

Jamie: Generally I'm pro-smashing, and I hate to agree with future girl, but I don't think smashing is the way to go here.

Coop: No, we tried not smashing, and it didn't work. We have to stick to our strengths, and smashing... is my strength! I just need to find the right way to smash it.

Coop (looks at console, which has numerous buttons for various types of direct physical attacks, then fires the laser gating at REGIS, which gets riddled with holes and falls apart): "See? That wasn't smashing!""

"Magnanimous: Now, lose the fight or I'll drop your friends into the (ominous voice) quantum singularity!
 * And finally, the second episode, which features Bruce Freakin' Campbell as the villain, has one of the best lines ever:

[DUN DUN DUN!]

[Sudden flashback to Coop not paying attention at school]

Teacher: Mr. Cooplowski! Pay attention! One day you're going to need to know what a quantum singularity is, and then you'll be sorry!

Young Coop: Yeah, right.

[Back to the present]

Coop: Uh, that's bad, right?

Magnanimous: The quantum singularity? Yeah, it's like a black hole but portable and with a cooler sounding name.

Coop: Oh. That's... bad."

"Jamie: Eyuuh, guys, what do you call a big head with tiny arms and legs?
 * The high point of that episode is the very end, when Coop defeats Magmanimous with a weapons grade karaoke machine.
 * It's got to be Coop emulating the Power Rangers Science Ninja Team Gatchaman S-force's Combining Mecha ability... by shoving Megas's arms and legs up the rear ends of their mecha as they sob from the violation. Then having it work.
 * Magnanimous's introduction. 'Nuff said.

Magnanimous: Nanimous. Mag-nanimous. But you probably knew that already.

Cut to Power Trio, Beat

Magnanimous: I'm kinda famous. Allow me to explain. I own and run the GCCF.

Cut to Power Trio for another Beat

Magnanimous: The Galactic Combat Championship Federation?

Jamie: His... body... is... a head... with tiny arms and legs.

Magnanimous: Earthers. Thicker than the Trabasian Nebula. Anyway, earth was ineligible for competition.

Coop: Just...tiny little legs."

"Jamie: So, what about this "planet killer" guy?
 * Megas is being blindly remote controlled by Jamie, so Megas is causing mass destruction and basically walking around mindlessly. The Glorft commander is looking at this with a face of abject confusion. Then a little old lady in a car pulls up to an intersection as the light turns red. Megas takes a hit and plows across the intersection, leaving a massive trench in the street. The light turns green, and the little old lady drives right over the edge, complete with requisite scream.
 * An SUV cuts off Coop, who's piloting MEGAS on the freeway. Coop responds by picking up the SUV and sticking it on the roof of a skyscraper.
 * One of Coop's few displays of actual logic:

Coop: What are you worried about, then? You're not a planet!"

"Grrkek (after discovering that the Lerps just keep coming): "I demand you return me to my interdimensional prison!""
 * Grrkek's Fate Worse Than Death. "I lerp you."

"[The two are Caught on the Jumbotron as "Caught In Love".]
 * Jamie and Kiva losing control of Megas and on a collision course with a Glorft carrier. One Glorft pilot looks at the other one and goes, "I've always hated you," just before the whole thing explodes.
 * The whole character of T-Bot. He is the most daringest, uncaringest, belt-wearingest bot in da' universe! He will trounce you, flounce you, and utterly denounce you! Until Coop punches him out, asking "What ya got to rhyme with that sucka?!"
 * Particualry funny when he rhymes himself into a corner and has to try to figure out more rhymes.
 * If the idea of shipping Jamie and Kiva wasn't bizarre enough (especially for Coop), "Terminate Her" raises the possibility that he could have gotten together with Kiva's ancestor.

Tiny: Yo, man, that Jamie?

Goat: Nah, that guy's with a girl."

"PA: AAAH!! There's a giant robot rampaging through the city!
 * In the Vegas episode, this exchange occurs whilst Goat and Georgie are at a video game contest, wondering when Coop is going to arrive:

Goat: There he is!"

"Jamie: We could try Hoboken...
 * Coop sinking to desperate measures to get his Mega Slush:

Coop: Yeah...but that's Hoboken!"

"Coop: So what, I've smashed bigger things before!
 * Most all of Coop's reasons for why he's defeating the enemy, especially when someone points out why they're not accurate, or worse, his fault.
 * Manual mode, where Coop controls it using Power Glove-like things and a DDR pad. Obviously such a mode would be useful, right? Except for the fact Coop is so out of shape he can't even use it for a minute without getting exhausted.
 * Jamie's total fear at Coop's largest enemy - a living planet that eats everything. He's not impressed with Coop's bravado.

Jamie: NO YOU HAVEN'T! THAT THING IS A FLIPPIN' PLANET!"

"Jamie: *throwing up arms* I'm not with him!"
 * How Jamie's reputation as a lovable coward was cemented in the pilot episode. Coop has just finished showing off MEGAS to him for the first time, Jamie eagerly hops into the passenger's seat, only to have Kiva suddenly warp in with three heavily-armed robots, guns trained on the cockpit.

"Jamie: These odds seem kind of unfair.
 * This little gem from episode 1 as Coop, Kiva and Jamie face down a whole army of glorft with only a damaged robot to assist them.

Coop: You're right, it is unfair.


 * Smashes the robot on HIS side*

Coop: There, now it's fair."

"RECR: "The enemy?" (Tapes rewind. Patriotic music plays.) "Everything is the enemy!"
 * RECR. The most patriotic robot ever that runs on a massive 56kb processor!

RECR: "But I must destroy and protect!"

RECR: "All enemies must be destroyed because all enemies are my enemies!"

Jamie: "Coop, this thing is more messed up then you are!"

Coop: "Heh. Yeah.""

"Ender: "Now I am free to conquer and destroy! Or destroy and conquer! Or just destroy!""
 * Coop leads the Glorft on a massive chase through their mothership with just his car, destroying dozens of mechs. When they're finally cornered, he summons Megas to him, because where was the fun in just doing it from the start?
 * Ender gave us this: