Santa with Muscles

"Hogan would make one final attempt at big screen stardom in 1996, although its theatrical release was very, very limited, with the astonishingly bad Santa With Muscles, a movie that rivals Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for the worst Santa themed holiday movie ever made. JESUS CHRIST, YOU WOULD PRETTY MUCH HAVE TO BE ANALLY VIOLATED WITH A GARDEN WEASEL OR BE GIVEN A COLONOSCOPY BY EDWARD SCISSORHANDS TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING MORE PAINFUL THAN EXPERIENCING THIS ABOMINATION!!! ]"

- Scott "The Foywonder" Foy

"I was pretty stunned to see the infamous "Santa rape" scene in the Warrior Christmas Special but that would not be the first nor the last time Santa took it full in the ass from the pro wrestling industry..."

- The Spoony One, opening his review of the film.

This is a 1996 comedy about greedy health guru named Blake (played by Hulk Hogan) who had gotten amnesia and ended up thinking he was Santa Claus. He ended up helping to save an orphanage from supervillain Ebner Frost.


 * An Asskicking Christmas
 * Amnesiac Liar
 * Badass Santa
 * Easy Amnesia: Blake got hit on the head once and forgot everything. He hit his head again and ended up remembering who he was.
 * He's Got a Weapon!: "Look out! He's got a candy cane!"
 * Identity Amnesia
 * Made of Explodium: The crystals in the caverns below the orphanage -- although they apparently switch to being made of implodium at the end of the film, whereby.
 * It also needs to be pointed out that while we're told that the crystals are horribly unstable and will blow up at the slightest touch, at the climax Black and Ebner have a Sword Fight with them, smashing the highly explosive crystals together for several minutes with absolutely no effect at all.
 * Terrified of Germs: Ebner Frost the Big Bad, to the point where his Mooks spray every room he walks into with disinfectant first.