Siskel and Ebert/Funny

From the Siskel & Ebert era:
"Siskel: You just dumped on the picture; why soften it? Who are you championing? The filmmakers?
 * Ebert has more than once been unsure how to say "Hakuna Matata". For instance, in their review of Disney's Hercules, Ebert called it "Hakuna Makata". He also had trouble saying it in their review of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride, to the point where Siskel had to correct him.
 * In their review of 3 Ninjas Kick Back, Siskel insinuated that Ebert was taking a bribe from the studio for saying that young children might find the film entertaining (this is despite Ebert giving the film a thumbs down, mind you):

Ebert: I'm just trying to put out a little bit of information that might be useful to someone that might enjoy this movie!

Siskel: Yeah, it's lousy, but Uncle Rog' says, "You might like it." There ya go. Who are you a friend of??

Ebert: Up next... I'm a friend of the... trusting filmgoer, Gene."

"Ebert: Sound more excited, Gene.
 * From their Telling Lies in America review, Siskel gave it a marginal thumbs down. Ebert argued, "Gimme Bacon. Come on, gimme Bacon." Siskel chuckled and remarked that he wasn't sure at first what he meant by that. Understandably, it sounded like Ebert was asking for some bacon to eat.
 * In their review of The Mask, Siskel describing Jim Carrey's characteristic overbite as "predatory animal-like".
 * The famous outtakes in general, but especially:

Siskel: Sound less excited, Roger."

"Siskel: I don't like the picture. Maybe you're confused about that. I'm still trying to get that opinion out there. Calm down, big boy, calm down."
 * In their review of The Living Daylights, Siskel described Timothy Dalton's version of Bond as "mousy". Ebert said that was an odd way to describe him, and Siskel admitted that was probably the wrong choice of words: "I called James Bond a mouse, and I live to say it."
 * In their "Worst of 1993" show, Siskel and Ebert gave each other a Take That to movies they gave thumbs up and which made their worst of the year (Siskel liked Carnosaur, while Ebert liked Cop and a Half).
 * Ebert disliked The Vanishing (1993), to put it mildly. He was especially irritated by the ending, which he felt didn't hold a candle to the ending of the 1988 film on which it was based. When Siskel began to deliver his critique of the film, Ebert kept interrupting him to bash the film some more. After two instances of being interrupted, Siskel said:

From the Ebert & Roeper era:
"Ebert: Dracula needs Dr. Frankenstein's secret of life, in order to activate his own babies who were born dead, because of course, he's dead."
 * Roeper's "Who are you, and what have you done with Roger Ebert?" line when Ebert gave Cheaper By the Dozen 2 a thumbs up.
 * When they reviewed Van Helsing, Roeper concluded his review by saying the film is dopey. Ebert remarked: "It's dopey, all right, but I give it thumbs up-", and Roeper interrupted with "YOU ARE KIDDING ME!" Ebert's explanation on why he thinks the plot isn't murky is funny, too:

"Roeper: All right, I'm bein' Punk'd, right? Now let's do your real review."
 * Ebert's Take That to Roeper during their review of Sahara: "May a diseased yak make love to your sister's kneecap."
 * Roeper laughing incredulously at Ebert giving thumbs up to both The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and Garfield 2: A Tale of Two Kitties.

"Ebert: If you're Yoda, you don't need no laser...saber. You just go like this... (makes a hand gesture) You're Yoda! Nobody can stop you!"
 * From their review of Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London, Ebert's story about how he wanted to know the name of an actor in the film, and registered on the official website but never did find out an answer to his question.
 * Jeepers Creepers 2: "Every 23 years, for 23 days, it gets to eat. It has it easy. Every two years, we have to see a new movie about it."
 * Ebert and Roeper's argument about whether it was good or bad for Yoda to fight in Star Wars: Episode II.

"Ebert: Let's talk about why people might want to see this movie.
 * Roeper's derisive facial expressions during Ebert's explanation of why he liked Harvard Man. Ebert calls him out on it: "Don't look like that; come on."
 * Into the Blue:

Roeper: All right.

Ebert: Jessica Alba's a pretty girl. She's pretty in this movie. OK, that's thumbs up. (Roeper laughs)"

From the Roeper & (insert guest host here) era:

 * When Roeper and A.O. Scott reviewed The Hottie and The Nottie. Three moments come to mind: Scott saying there are many ways to describe Paris Hilton (including one he's too much of a gentlemen to say out loud), Scott commenting that Roeper's shaking with anger when starting to trash the film, and Roeper's annoyance on how Paris is supposed to be attractive: "She looks like a porn star after a really long weekend, especially in close-up."
 * Michael Phillips's defense of Ten Thousand BC, particularly when he disagreed with Roeper about the "accuracy" of the film: "I don't know what you're talking about; I think this thing is on the money!" Also, Roeper's accusation that other critics who gave it thumbs up were doing so while they were holding their juice boxes.