Better Than It Sounds/Film F


 *  : Hammy actor does a hammy impersonation of another hammy actor... leaving the latter actor with no choice but to do a hammy impression of the first.
 *  : Elijah Wood kills body-snatching aliens with cocaine. Jon Stewart has a Beard of Evil.
 *  : Paraplegic ex-stuntman tells a story to a little girl in a hospital while trying to trick her into stealing drugs for him so he can commit suicide.
 *  : A man goes around shooting people who piss him off after his car's air conditioning breaks down.
 * : A ballet that features everything from dancing mushrooms to dinosaurs to Satan. Also, Mickey Mouse tries to industrialize workplace cleanliness, and loses control.
 * : The same, with battling butterflies, Mount Saint Helens, and Depression-Era New York. At a time when all land-based species were endangered, each of the last two generic ducks thinks itself the very last one.
 *  : Slimy Corrupt Corporate Executive tries to make the moves on his geeky college rival's ex-girlfriend, but everything he does just ends up pushing her back to him. Eventually, the executive puts on a mask and tries to freeze the college rival with liquid nitrogen.
 *  : Giant cloud attacks Earth with help from an Academy Award statue.
 * : A father of 2 years to a Bratty Half-Pint Emo Teen falls off the wagon and begins indulging in an addiction that endangers the lives of hundreds of civilians, as well as the stability of his marriage.
 * : Car salesman can't convince his employer that his paperwork is finished, also fails to up-sell a promotional extra to his customers. Grumpy Old Man shits on everyone beneath him, refuses to help his daughter in an important financial transaction. A pregnant sheriff tries to work out who the main character is in the movie.
 * : A cat solves a murder mystery.
 * Or: A film that shows cats having sex and brutally killing each other.
 *  : Kid neglects his education, shamelessly manipulates the sympathy of his parents and those around him and, for his own self-gratification, triggers a series of events that results in the destruction of his best friend's father's priceless car. Without remorse. Despite this, everyone loves him (a fact lampshaded by his sister, until she makes out with a drug dealer).
 * Alternatively, a depressed high schooler is taken advantage of by his best friend, who wrecks the high-schooler's father's priceless car, somehow teaching him to stand up for himself.
 * : The heartwarming story of a young boy and his pet zombie.
 *  : Multinational corporation acquires small English zoo and turns it into corporate nightmare.
 * Alternatively: John Cleese owns a zoo, shoots at a few trainers, drinks the blood of an old lady, and things happen.
 *  : The world will be saved by a hot girl with weird name. With the assistance of a cab driver and a cross-dressing radio disc jockey.
 *  : A guy and his best friend bond over practical jokes and extreme sports. They conflict over a Love Triangle. Girl uses cancer to get the attention of her Love Interest.
 * Insurance worker with multiple personality disorder takes up hypochondria and illegal bare-knuckle fighting in an attempt to cure insomnia. Unwittingly becomes founder of a nationwide anarchist paramilitary force which he subsequently defeats by blowing one side of his own face off.
 * Middle-aged WASP finds meaning in life through "Murder, Mayhem, and Soap". Lots of soap.
 * : People avoid dying in an accident, only to die more gruesomely later.
 * Alternately: Gruesome depictions of the consequences of home and workplace safety violations.
 * : Ditto.
 * : Ditto... yet again.
 * : Ditto... IN 3D!
 * : Ditto... IN 3D! Yet again.
 * : Lots of children get sick, and join a cat-eyed cult led by three brothers, whose mother is a head in a box. One brother eventually grows up to become their father, only to get beaten up in a spectacular fashion. Meanwhile, a man sees dead people, thinks about deep things, and fights lots (often doing all three at the same time). Also, much of what occurs during this movie is almost completely incomprehensible to anybody who either has not played the video game on which this movie is based or has a basic understanding of physics (particularly the effects of gravity).
 * : A widower and a Cloudcuckoolander with blue skin go on a quest to rescue the widower's son, who has been captured in a watered crystal jail with tiki figures in it by a dentist who is several times their size.
 * : A man with PTSD from The Vietnam War steals a vehicle.
 *  : Man goes crazy, traps forest rangers and has an unintelligible monologue.
 *  : Same man looks for prisoners. Meets a hot chick.
 * spoiler: [[Rambo III: Man from before fights evil with rebels. Over the top gun play ensues.
 *  : The same man comes out of retirement. Everything dies.
 * Alternatively, The same man shows a bunch of pacifists the goods of mass murder, and how you should never trust yellow people.
 * : Femme Fatale bank robber falls in love with stuffy barrister whilst attempting to locate stolen diamonds. Her boyfriend is a psychopathic Buddhist hit-man who torments a stuttering animal lover who keeps killing dogs.
 * Alternately: Two members of Monty Python pretend not to know each other. Americans act rudely, behave selfishly, speak in vulgarities, and eat fish.
 *  : A red knight tries to kill a homeless person. A radio DJ tries to help the homeless man. And Robin Williams gets naked.
 *  : A mischievous troublemaker plays two rival families in order to get rich quick.
 *  : Mischievous troublemaker chases a guy obsessed with a music box.
 *  : Three men of varying levels of morality and attractiveness search for a graveyard.
 * Alternatively: Three guys have a staring competition with a cash prize.
 *  : An opera-loving rubber merchant goes on a boat trip. Through a jungle.
 * : Tevye and two Americans end up on another planet, where they meet Brian Blessed, Timothy Dalton, and Max von Sydow dressed as Fu Manchu.
 * Or: Someone that plays American football is captured, makes an ally of someone that he nearly fought to the death, and crashes an airplane into a government building. This is treated as a good thing.
 *  : Jack Bauer decides to kill himself over and over. Kevin Bacon and Julia Roberts think it's an awesome idea.
 *  : A wise-ass is hired by a wealthy businessman for assisted suicide. The wise-ass decides that the best way to react to this is to dress up in a variety of weird costumes and sleep with the businessman's wife. The wise-ass is treated as the hero and as being completely in the right.
 *  : Same wise-ass heads down south to hang out with stereotypes, sleep with a dead woman and sing Zippidy-do-da.
 * : Bookstore owner gets pulled into fantasy world to Save Both Worlds from mad sorcerer; he ends up destroying said fantasy world with grade school science. And this is supposed to be a good thing.
 * : A widow boards a plane with her young daughter and promptly falls asleep. (This comes from an actual newspaper listing, submitted on BBC's News Quiz)
 * : A puppy has an identity and existential crisis.
 *  : A man's teeth fall out, his skin gets awful, and he starts to have trouble with his eyesight.
 *  : The man's son is called in to finish his father's work. Grows up to not be as pathetic as his dad was.
 * : weird atmospherical condition and past events ruin a town's 100th anniversary.
 * : Forklift safety film goes horribly awry. This is played for laughs.
 * : A mentally retarded man is sent to war and becomes a ping-pong player, while his lifelong crush turns to a life of sex and drugs.
 *  : Wolverine is vehement that he prefers his wife alive.
 *  : Three R&B artists and Achilles' cousin try to solve their mother's murder.
 *  : The Three Stooges join Al-Qaeda.
 *  : A man confesses to murder. The prosecution still struggles to convict him.
 *  : A Russian woman marries a German dwarf for his money. His friends disapprove.
 * : A son saves his father's life, and they talk about baseball.
 *  : A British nerd meets a weird American girl at a pub and goes to the restroom a lot.
 *  : Young, unemployed blacks spend a day sitting around and smoking pot.
 *  : A camping trip goes horribly, horribly wrong. Also, Kevin Bacon gets an arrow through his throat.
 *  : McLovin suspects his ex-friend's new neighboor to be a vampire.
 * : A talking cat has lots of sex and does a lot of drugs. And he's voiced by a children's show actor. The creator of the character hated the film so much, he killed him off.
 * : The talking cat, despite having an icepick put through his head a year earlier, is now married and has either hallucinations or flashbacks about being a Nazi and going into space. Satan is homosexual.
 *  : Two brothers drive an RV to a strip club and encounter the supernatural.
 * : Unemployed men become strippers.
 * : Two men murder a family with the jagged shards of a broken 4th wall.