Fractured Fairy Tale/Quotes

"Orson: (reading "Rumpelstiltskin") After the king let the son out, the little man offered the son a deal.

Rumpelstiltskin (Roy): You can keep your VCR if you can guess my name.

Miller's son (Wade): Guess your name? Ha! That oughta be a cinch! Is it Fred?

Rumpelstiltskin: No.

Miller's son: Sam?

Rumpelstiltskin: No.

Miller's son: Elliot?

Rumpelstiltskin: Nope!

Miller's son: Jason?

Rumpelstiltskin: No way.

Orson: The son just kept on guessing far into the night...

Miller's son: Irving? Floyd? Ichabod? Michael? Sidney? John? Paul? George? Ringo? Larry? Moe? Curly? Shemp? Howie? Frank?

Rumpelstiltskin: Nope.

Orson: ...but without success.

Miller's son: Arbuthnot? Trallfaz? Sting? Prince? Engelburt?

Rumpelstiltskin: Sorry, you only get one more guess.

Pizzaman (Bo): Hey, like, hi there, Rumpelstiltskin. Qué pasa?

Miller's son: I know it! I know your name! Your name is...

Roy: (grabs the book from Orson) But before the duck-son could say the name, a hurricane came up!

Orson: A hurricane!?

Roy: Yes, a hurricane. And it blew the duck away, so he couldn't take his VCR back.

Wade: Uno momento!

Orson: Guys!

Wade: Then, a spaceship came by! And it rescued the handsome duck, and flew him back to reclaim his VCR.

Orson: Guys, stop this!

Roy: But the rooster was determined to get it back with the aid of his trained dinosaurs!

Orson: Trained dinosaurs? Where did the trained dinosaurs come from?

Roy: Same place all those ninjas came from.

Wade: But then the Third Marine Division landed with their Anti-Trained Dinosaur Squadron.

Roy: But the Mole People were too smart for the Marines!

Orson: Guys!

Wade: Then 83 monsters take the VCR back!

Roy: Then 84 monsters and a giant moth grab it back from the duck!"

- U.S. Acres, "The Name Game"