The Da Vinci Code/Fridge


 * Fridge Logic: Proving a woman has living descendants means precisely that said woman, at one point, had, at least, one child and that her child(ren) also reproduced. There is absolutely no way to prove paternity through maternity testing. If Miriam of Magdala had any children, that just makes her one of the many saints, both male and female, who have done so. It doesn't tell whether she was married, and without a male to test for paternity, it can't tell whether the father is Yeshua or some random Tom, Dick, or Harry from down the street.
 * In fact, you can't even say that the bones in the Priory's posession are those of Mary Magdalene. The most you can say is that they belonged to woman of Hebrew descent who lived approximately 2000 years ago.
 * Which would be why the Priory preserved an enormous amount of historical records corroborating her identity.
 * Still, a woman can claim any man is the father of her child(ren). Other people can claim that the man is the father of her child(ren). Unless the man's DNA is tested against that of the child(ren) and paternity is established, someone saying that the man isn't the father is just as valid. Many saints have borne or fathered children; Miriam of Magdala would be no different, and in this day and age, the Catholic Church wouldn't need some giant conspiracy. Maternity testing would establish Miriam of Magdala's bloodline, but with no known remains of Yeshua to prove or disprove, it wouldn't matter if people believed that it was also his. They couldn't prove he was the father of the bloodline, and the Catholic Church couldn't prove he wasn't.
 * Fridge Hilarity: If the Holy Chalice (aka the Holy Grail) is an allegory for Mary Magdalene, and the Gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke describe him passing the Holy Chalice around during the last supper, that means he was actually passing his wife around to his apostles. So basically, The Da Vinci Code tells the story of how Jesus was a total pervert.