How to Cheat Death

''Need to protect a character from dying? It's easy! Just:''

But really, Who Wants to Live Forever?
 * 1) Make them a main character.
 * 2) Make them more popular than the main character.
 * 3) Unless the main character is particularly beloved by the writers, in which case make yours slightly less popular to avoid complications.
 * 4) Make them the main character's love interest or best friend (with plenty of Character Development to keep you out of the crisper).
 * 5) Train them in Super Not-Drowning Skills.
 * 6) Refer to them to indicate that they're alive off-screen without appearing on-screen.
 * 7) Give them the superpower of biological invincibility.
 * 8) Send them on a trip longer than their life-span.
 * 9) Give them a Pocket Protector.
 * 10) Put them in an elaborate killing-machine, unsupervised.
 * 11) Put them in the Plot Device Witness Protection Program.
 * 12) Inflict lethal injuries when the plot doesn't call for death.
 * 13) Have rules against upsetting the Balance Between Good and Evil.
 * 14) Ensure that the opposing sides never actually come to blows.
 * 15) Make the other characters perfectly satisfied they're dead.
 * 16) Honorably discharge them from the cast with a possibility they could return.
 * 17) Allow the villain to indulge at having the perfect opportunity to kill them.
 * 18) Rewrite the show to make it safer/ lower the target audience age.
 * 19) Have their true love kiss them.
 * 20) Make them a baby or a dog.
 * 21) Unless the latter is in a work after the Newbery Medal.
 * 22) Put them through a situation that would surely kill them without showing them dead.
 * 23) Make them a talented or popular villain.
 * 24) Invite their arch rival to their battle with someone else.
 * 25) Comply with censors.
 * 26) Don't let anyone find their body.
 * 27) Wound them during a critical, dramatic, action-packed fight scene.
 * 28) Freeze them.
 * 29) Make them an incredibly cool hero with injuries that should be fatal.
 * 30) Make them too powerful to be killed.
 * 31) Have them get captured by an egotistical villain with a flair for the dramatic.
 * 32) Remind The Hero that If You Kill Him You Will Be Just Like Him.
 * 33) Imprison whoever makes people die.
 * 34) Cast them in a Disney movie. (So long as you don't make them one of the parents of the very young protagonist.)
 * 35) Diagnose them with a fatal illness.
 * 36) Give them artificial respiration.
 * 37) Make The Hero defeat them in a duel, preferably on top of a building.
 * 38) Have them ask any killer to Get It Over With.
 * 39) Take the body to the morgue.
 * 40) Leave behind a decoy and escape.
 * 41) Make it very clear no one could have survived that.
 * 42) Use Time Travel to go back in time and make it look like they died, but really didn't.
 * 43) Literally cheat: Knock over one of His playing pieces, then reset the board while He isn't looking.
 * 44) Have Death take someone more expendable instead.
 * 45) Have them make a few "friends" on the writing staff despite the fanbase wishing to see the character stabbed to death with numerous sharp pointies.
 * 46) Make a new toy for them.
 * 47) Do not give them any stats.
 * 48) But, really, if you ever feel like it, just bring them back from the dead. However you like.
 * 49) Most importantly, make sure no one important in making the show wants you dead for no good reason.
 * 50) And if you can't follow this list, take everyone else down with you.
 * 51) Remember unless it is directly before the credits Never Ever have sex.
 * 52) Simply curse them with immortality.

hhHhuuurghhh...!