Badass Boast/Comic Books

""I am the Grand Master! I am the Oy Boy! I am the landlord, head of the Reapers, chief of the Tube Police, Scourge of Alien, first Termite to bite back, the one grannies fear, the one you cross the road to avoid. I am order personified. I am the ultimate human. I am a God!""
 * Wolverine, after the X-Men have been completely annihilated by the Hellfire Club: "Ok, suckers... you've taken yer best shot. NOW IT'S MY TURN!"
 * The Mighty Thor hands these out like candy on Halloween. See his page for details.
 * League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: "I'm Wilhelmina Murray. I've seen off Count Dracula, Professor James Moriarty and the Martian Invasion of 1898."
 * Preacher (Comic Book): "Not enough gun."
 * "We're the Justice League. We've beaten up real gods and made them cry."
 * Mr. Mxyzptlk -- "I'm the goddamn TRICKSTER GOD!"
 * Infinite Crisis features a great one from Martian Manhunter, just before J'onn delivers a serious beating to Superboy Prime: "I do not know who you are, but they call me the Martian Manhunter. I am Mars' sole survivor. There is a reason for that."
 * That reason had nothing to do with any kind of badassery, so it's pretty goofy. And he lost that fight as well!
 * Final Crisis is full of these, but gives a definitive Badass Boast in #5  starting with a completely black panel filled with the words "I. Am. The. New. God." Also, obviously, A God Am I.
 * Apocalypse of X-Men, especially in the early '90s cartoon, is given to such speeches: "I am Apocalypse! Look upon the future and tremble!"
 * "I am the rocks of the eternal shore! Crash against me and be broken!"
 * "Only I, the eternal, can never be defeated! I cannot be touched! I cannot be harmed! Nothing can stop the Apocalypse!"
 * "I bring the purity of oblivion to your world!"
 * "I am as far beyond mutants as they are beyond you. I am eternal!"
 * Nemesis the Warlock -- "Nemesis?" "The Warlock! The one who waits on the edge of your dreams ... The Shape of Things to Come ... The Lord of the Flies ... The Death Bringer ... I am all these and many more ... "
 * "CREDO!"
 * Torquemada of course couldn't be worse:

"John Constantine: "No one touches the boy. That's right, the boy's mine. And in thirty seconds, me, and him, and the witch are going to walk out if here. You know who I am. Or you ought to. You know my reputation. Now, does anyone really want to start something?" (Nothing happens) "Right. Come on, you lot. We're moving.""
 * "I am the mother of Odin's stallion, Sleipnir. I am the father of Fenrir Sun-Eater, and of Hel Half-Rotted and of Jormungund the World-Serpent. I am Loki Scar-Lip, Loki Skywalker, Loki Giant's Child, Loki Lie-Smith. I am Loki, who is fire and wit and hate. I am Loki. And I will be under an obligation to no one." -- Loki (duh) The Sandman
 * And, from the same world: "I am of the People, man. My teeth are sharp enough to cut bone. I can run on four legs as well as two. I am kin to dwarrow and nightgaunt. I owe allegiance to none and I fear no man born. I want the woman." -- Vassily of the People
 * Also from the same world, the Furies/Kindly Ones/Erinyes/Eumenides/whatever have a lot of these. Probably the best example is: "We have no nightmares. We are the hounds of Hades. Gods fear us. Demons fear us. We have hounded kings and angels. We have taken vengeance on worlds and on universes. We are the Kindly Ones. We are the Eumenides."
 * Neil Gaiman is good at these. During the first Books of Magic, Zatanna takes Timothy Hunter to a party attended by a wide variety of powerful evil magicians. We are led to believe that everyone at the party is either Affably Evil or a Punch Clock Villain on their off time, or both, until the party's host announces Tim's presence and announces that a hefty price has been put on his head ("Which need not be attached to his body"). Things are pretty tense until all of a sudden, John Constantine appears in a doorway, and everyone stops to watch him calmly light his cigarette.

""Of all the creatures in the vastness of the universe, there is none like me. I was present at the birth of the universe, and I shall be there at its end. Though I ravage worlds to live, I bear no malice to any living thing. I simply do what I must to survive. And why must Galactus survive? For, no matter how many worlds I devour... how many civilizations I destroy... it is my destiny to one day give back to the universe -- infinitely more than I have ever taken from it. So speaks Galactus.""
 * From the Marvel Universe, a variant: the badass Thank Your Prey:


 * The robotic Manhunters' Badass Creed doubles as a Badass Boast:

"No Manhunter escapes the Man."
 * To which John Stewart replied:


 * They had another one before they all made a Face Heel Turn and Turned Against Their Masters:

"Midnighter (to a superpowered Mook holding a child hostage): "Let me make this situation clear for you. I know what special abilities you have. I can see the enhancements. I can detect the increased electrical activity in your brain. I know what moves you're preparing to make. I've fought our fight already, in my head, in a million different ways. I can hit you without you even seeing me. I'm what soldiers dream of growing into. I'm what children see when they first imagine what death is like. I'm the Midnighter. Your Move."
 * The Crow, explaining himself to a cop: "I am pilot error. I am fetal distress. I am the random chromosome. I am complete and total madness. I am fear."
 * The Authority: "I've already played this fight in my head a million times, from every angle. I know every move you'll make and how to counter it. I know how to kill you. You've already lost, you just don`t know it yet." Eventually, he starts handing it to people on a card.

"Regis: I can see inside your head, white boy. Did you think your little fight enhancements would let you kill me? You've never fought anything like me, boy. I am Regis. I have been raping and killing better humans than you for half a millennium. That's it. Fight me. Try to hurt me. I've lost count of how many men's fingers and women's nails have shattered on my skin. Your mothers and sisters will bear my children. You cannot stop me. Burn Albion, burn Europe-- it won't matter. I am Regis, warrior king of this entire filthy planet-- and I will wipe myself with your skin when I'm done violating yours."
 * To which Captain Atom had the perfect Badass Boast in response: "Why don't you try that shit with me..." (Hint: it doesn't work out too well for Midnighter. Or Apollo, for that matter.)
 * The Big Bad of the "Shiftships" arc has one hell of a boast, which he delivers while curb-stomping Midnighter:

"Mr. Fantastic: (watching Spidey work his way through pro-reg forces) Amazing.
 * Spider-Man in Avengers: The Initiative. "Not gonna happen. Know why? Because I'm Spider-Man. And you're just a dollar-store version of the Lizard. See, I beat down guys like Doc Ock, Sandman, and Venom all the time. And you're just not in their league. Oh, I'm going to win."
 * From Civil War, a quick one:

Spider-Man: (giving Reed a flying kick) Spectacular."

""I'm sorry, you think defeating me is that simple? Have you seen my resumé? I've fought mutants, gods, aliens, technomalogical wackjobs, street hoods... Hell, I fought my own costume. You think it's that simple? Bring it on.""
 * Usually, however, Spider-man inverts it, as his baddass boast typically starts the instant he shuts up.
 * In Amazing Spider-Man #369, ol' Webhead says this to his latest foe:

""That's why I'm the best. Because I know how to fight like it's life or death... I once swam a mile with three bullets in my lung. I KO'd the Ultra-Humanite with once punch. I am Ted friggin' Wildcat Grant. This is my ring. These are my people. And tonight, for one last time... I am their champion.""
 * Morningbright in Top Ten: Smax: "You see, it's like this. In the beginning, God created me... Then he made the universe from what was left."
 * Wildcat, of the Justice Society of America:

"[[spoiler:And on the pedestal these words appear:
 * Watchmen:
 * Rorschach: "None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked in here with me."
 * Dr. Manhattan: "I am disappointed, . Very disappointed. Restructuring myself after the subtraction of my intrinsic field was the first trick I learned. It didn't kill Osterman... Did you think it would kill me? I've walked across the sun. I've seen events so tiny and so fast they hardly can be said to have occurred at all, but you... you are a man... and  "
 * A pillar in his lair bears this line from an old poem
 * In the original context it becomes:

My name is Ozymandias, king of kings.

Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair.

Nothing beside remains]]"

""Look at my eyes, churl. No power... yours or anyone's... can stop me. My ancestors were wizards and kings... conquerors. You are a common killer -- a mad dog accidentally born in human form. You took my world, made my people slaves, and slew the man I had given my heart to. I need no power to destroy you -- save the strength born in my blood." KRRAK!"
 * Subversion in Calvin and Hobbes: "S for Stupendous! T for Tiger, ferocity of! U for underwear, red! P for Power, incredible! E for Excellent physique! N for, um, something, well I'll get back to that. D for Determination! U for... wait, how do you spell this? Is it 'I'?"
 * Projectra's Crowning Moment of Awesome in Legion of Super-Heroes v.3:

""I was born a Giant! I chose to be an Aesir!"
 * In Peter Madsen's comic Valhalla, Tyr and Thor are having a contest that suddenly turns deadly by Thor's latest attempt to catch the Midgard Serpent. Tyr forgets the contest and starts acting like the God of War (Leaders) he is, snapping orders to help Thor. Thor's sidekick Tjatse doubts him... noting that they just learnt Tyr is of the Giants.

"*stabs his sword down into the soil, one millimetre before the nose of mole-Loki* "I can hear you, Loki!""
 * Likewise, in another story Loki makes the mistake of actually pissing off Heimdall seriously. He tries to hide by shapeshifting into a mole, but Heimdall is the God of Watchers...

""Ha haaaa hahahaha hah! I'm here to stay! Shoot me and I'll spit your goddamn bullets back in your face! I'm Spider Jerusalem, and fuck all of you! Ha!""
 * Loki is very fond of Badass Boasts in that comic. All the stories that feature him (which are the majority of the stories) has him praising himself at every chance he gets and more often than not ending up getting called on it or having circumstances prove him wrong.
 * "Hear me, X-Men! No longer am I the woman you knew! I am fire! And life incarnate! Now and forever -- I am Phoenix!!"
 * "Behold your creation, Charles Xavier! I am what was, what is, what will be! I am the Black Angel, Chaos Bringer! I AM POWER!"
 * Wedge has a bit of introspection at the start of one comic; it's not proper boasting because the whole issue is sad in tone, but without context it certainly looks like this trope. "I survived the Battle of Yavin. I survived the Battle of Hoth. Hell... Just a couple of weeks ago I blew up the Death Star during the Battle of Endor. The reason I'm still breathing when a lot of other good Rebel pilots aren't? Maybe it's because I'm better. Or maybe I'm just lucky."
 * The various Lantern oaths, which also obviously double as Badass Creeds.
 * Transmetropolitan's Spider Jerusalem immediately after being beaten half to death by three armed police officers:

"(immediately after crispifying two of the Aesir with a Plasma Cannon) "When you're a god, you have no one to pray to.""
 * The Punisher's 2099 incarnation gets a good one when facing down against the new Aesir:

""I don't need a jetpack... All I need is hate!""
 * He gives out another one when he dives after a criminal who has a jetpack:

""Lay down your arms! I'm serious and I have the firepower to prove it! Sworn protectorate of over fifteen thousand submarine states. My territory surrounds every continent on the planet. I rule most of this planet's surface and almost all of its depths. So don't even think about picking a fight with the King of Atlantis.""
 * Aquaman:

"Maybe the real reason I became Hulk... was to protect the world from Banner."
 * Bruce Banner once forced Wolverine and Daken to back down when he explained to them what it means to be one of the smartest people in the world and be dangerously unstable.

"I will unleash a terrible fury and do things to you that will make God cry."
 * I Kill Giants:

"You can read minds enough to be able to predict any attack your opponent will make. So you will be able to -- anticipate every move I make -- and do absolutely -- nothing about it -- because -I-am-the-fastest-man-on-earth."
 * "You dumb bastards! I'm Snow White! I run Fabletown and I'm never outgunned!"
 * "My name is Jay Garrick/Barry Allen/Wally West/Bart Allen/John Fox. I'm The Flash. The fastest man alive."
 * Bullseye's is short, but right on target: "I never miss."
 * "We are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We strike hard, and fade away...into the night."
 * Quicksilver gives a lengthy one when fighting Mr. X, but it ends with him explaining the situation. The pauses indicate Mr. X being struck with an iron bar.

"I'm 26 years old. I've been to the Moon, and Mars, and Venus. I've slept with asteroid gypsies, broken sloats, and fought with the eighth insurgency on Forest. I shot a man on Khargu because he needed to die more than any I've ever met. I repaired three rocket tubes with a wrench and a knife while hanging upside down over Titan during the syzygy. I'm 26 years old and my life is over now. So direct me please to the man who'll sell me a gun, and the place where my dad was shot dead in his sleep, for I have business to attend to before I lay down in my grave."
 * Ultimate Quicksilver was really great in the first two volumes of The Ultimates; after the US is invaded by a hostile army of foreign superhumans, he saves Hawkeye from the enemy speedster by dragging her along with him until she vibrates apart, at the same time delivering what must be the fastest badass boast in history: "You want fast, Hurricane? I'll give you fast. What kind of limits did they take you to back home? Mach five? Mach ten? I was hitting those numbers when I still had pimples. (...) Feel your bones rattling like you're on a freight train? That's molecules dancing. That's what happens when you threaten my friends!" The kicker is that he apparently does saves like that all the time, but nobody notices it and few people believe it when he tells them because he does it so fast.
 * From Ignition City:

"Okay. Here's the thing. Pain doesn't bother me. Let me show you.
 * "Let our enemies beware: there is only one superpower now."
 * Desolation Jones has a particularly memorable one:

[Rolls up his sleeve, revealing a biohazard tattoo]

This means I was tortured for a year. This means I experienced death for a full year, twenty-four hours a day. You know what you learn from that? Death is easy. Death is ordinary. It is not special. Your life is not special. And, as part of the ex-intelligence community that the authorities keep trapped in Los Angeles, I am legally invisible.

I am incapable of caring whether anyone in this room lives or dies.

I'm not trying to scare you, I'm not trying to be the big man. I'm just saying: don't touch me again."

"Saint Walker: It is at full capacity, and will remain so, as long as I hope for your well-being. And I will always hope. Until my last dying breath."
 * In the Green Lantern prologue to Blackest Night, with the introduction of Saint Walker, he reveals that his ring increases the power of Hal Jordan's ring.

"Michael: Was it not Buddha who heard a sermon in the thunder?
 * From Lucifer:

Lucifer: Actually, it is in the Upanishads, but I applaud your ecumenical impulse.

Michael: And the words the thunder said were Datta, Dayadvam, Damyata. Give, sympathize and control. I've always thought of that as one commandment rather than three.

Lucifer: Why do I feel that this particular sermon is being preached at me? I can do control. Nobody is good at everything.

[Later]

Lucifer: A sermon in the thunder, Michael? Thunder only has one thing to say: it tells us how close the storm is."

"Wolverine: Sucker, you just made the biggest mistake of your life. *SNIKT* And the last."
 * A Hellfire Club mook has just shot Kitty Pryde, who just freed Logan and Colossus from power draining cages, with a stun rifle.

""My name is Reed Richards. And these are my toasters." *curbstomp*"
 * Marvel Adventures, unlike the 616 universe, does not need wanton assholery to be badass:

""Yoda said it, Artoo: There is no try! Only do.. or do not! And I mean to do! This can't stop me! Nothing's going to stop me! I'm Luke Skywalker... destroyer of the Death Star! I'm the one who dueled Darth Vader and lived to tell about it!""
 * In Marvel Star Wars, Luke once deliberately activates an Imperial droid's capture programming with this.

"Maestro: "No, by beating them to death, and it all went so quickly that I'm sorry I didn't prolong it." "You're fighting the inevitable, Hulk. I'm simply the final product of natural selection. The strong survive. I'm the strongest. I survived. When you go against me, you go against the laws of nature.""
 * While "I'm the strongest one there is" is the Hulk's catch phrase boast, recently he's simplified it. When told he can't do something, or asked how he thinks he can do something thought impossible, he responds "Sure I can/Easy, I'm The Hulk."
 * Also, as the Maestro, he had this excellent villainous version;

"In Akkad and Elam they called me Baarish-Shammon, and when they threw their children alive into the fire-pits it was my name that was on their lips.
 * Two Thousand AD, Cabalistics Inc.

In Egypt - in the reign of the heretic pharaoh Nephren-Ka - they called me 'She Who Stalks By Night', and they dressed my statues in the flayed skins of slaves to keep me from their doors.

In Kadath in the Cold Waste they knew and feared me. My true name is written on the walls of the tombs of Hidden Irem, where no human eye has yet to read it.

In Carchemish and Ashur, in Kiran and forgotten Sarnath, in Luxor and Ib. On the shores of Hali. In the darkest abyss-cities of Shaol.

In all these places, I was fear. I was despair. I was all this, and still so much more.

And you're still dumb enough to think you can beat me?"

"Lost cause? Of course it's a lost cause! That why we're here."
 * The Wreckers from the various Transformers comics. There's a particularly good one in "Stormbringer".

"His lightning could incinerate armies. My bones crumble beneath his fists. He is stronger than me. He is faster than me. He is more powerful than me in all ways but one. He cannot stop me. How could he? I can't even stop myself."
 * The Juggernaut  gets one as his internal monologue, while fighting Null, Breaker of Stone

"Hear me well, Bruce... Your anger means nothing to me. I am the SORCERER SUPREME. I could snuff the feeble flame of your mortal life with the merest twitch of a finger."
 * Doctor Strange does these relatively rarely, so when he flexes his muscles it really gets your attention.

"Mephisto: I am Mephisto! There is only One who can defy me! And compared to Him you are like smothering children in the furnace of the dammned!"
 * And the arguably scariest Dr.Strange villain of all, Zom (How scary? He was imprisoned once by a coalition of beings including Dormammu and Eternity - which is the equivalent of God and Satan teaming up to take someone out), after being freed from his dimensional prison: "Let the worlds within and the worlds without tremble in their orbits!"
 * In Azrael Annual #2, a Legends of the Dead Earth Elseworld, Brian claimes Azrael "defeats six monsters before breakfast. Sometimes he has them for breakfast. With milk and sugar. And sliced strawberries, occasionally."
 * The Secret Six, explaining why a potential client should hire them: "Your enemies are our enemies, and most of our enemies are dead."
 * In one Silver Surfer classic story Mephisto managed to give one, while fighting Galactus himself.

""I've played along with your Jedi dueling games long enough! Now you will experience my full potency... I live as energy... I am The Dark Side!""
 * Palpatine from Dark Empire:

""I have been through death and conquered it. I have returned with my power multiplied. The dark side of the Force lives and manifests itself through me! I reach into the dark side now and send ripples through it to all who serve it — know that I live!"
 * From Star Wars Legacy:

Darth Krayt, Dark Lord of the Sith"

"I'll show you people what paradise looks like if I have to level every city on Earth and rebuild it stone by stone."
 * Marvel Boy had a great one:

"Oracle: You've escaped, and you think the world's a huge place, and you can hide anywhere, right? I'm here to tell you...that world? I own it. Your world is getting smaller by the second. And you can't hide anywhere from me. Every database, every security cam, every police band has my fingerprints on it. Every moment you're out the noose pulls tighter. And Savant, just in case it's not crystal clear by now...nobody messes with my partner.
 * Birds of Prey: Barbara to Savant, after the latter broke out of Arkham. Over the phone.

Savant: (trying to hide his face from a security camera) She's overestimating herself. She can't...I'm certain that...[runs away like a scared rabbit, without even bothering to hang up first]"

"I could crack the thunder of a lightning bolt."
 * First thing the main character of Orc Stain says is:

"Nova: I pulled him inside out and saved the universe. What have you done lately, Tony?"
 * Judge Dredd: "The law is the law...and I am the law!"
 * After ending the Annihilation event by killing Annihilus with his bare hands, Nova had brought the event up on several occasions. At one point he threatened Blastarr by reminding him that he could easily repeat the act on Blastarr if he does not act diplomatically. But the most famous instance was directed at Tony Stark.