Dark Souls/Funny

"Heavens! You have done it! You have retrieved the Lordvessel! After a thousand years! It is you, it is really you! (cue excited, phlegmy-sounding roaring/cheering) (long, awkward pause) Er, heh. Forgive me, I really should calm down."
 * Frampt's overly excited reaction should the player deliver the Lordvessel to him:

"Welcome to Trusty Patches' Trove of Treasures. We chop prices, not limbs!"
 * Patches will sometimes utter this gem when the player browses his wares:

"Your dedication is fully apparent. Only, well... your head looks awful."
 * All of the excuses Patches gives for attempting to murder the player are played for laughs as well. From claiming that he accidentally fell on a lever to trying to convince the player that he's their friend, he finds any way he can to plead for his life. The funniest is after he tricks them in the Tomb of Giants. He straight out tells them that he's a murderer and a deciever when he thinks they won't survive, but when they return he denies it and shrugs it off as an impulse he can't control.
 * His claim that he accidentally slipped and fell on the lever is even funnier when you glance at said lever, and realise that he had to pull it, not push it, to flip the bridge. That had to have been one heck of a slip for him to manage that...
 * Should the player become egg-burdened and talk to Eingyi, he'll come out with this:

"Provides minimal protection, but at a cost of moderate humiliation."
 * The Channeler enemy's dance when they buff up nearby enemies. Getting their staff allows you to also do the dance, leading to several instances of people invading other player's worlds and merely standing there, repeatedly doing the dance.
 * Which inevitably led to this and this.
 * To top that: the only game where player-versus-player matches which are usually serious business, often turning into a free-for-alls, instead becoming impromptu dance sessions.
 * Siegmeyer of Catarina repeatedly showing up in the most improbable places, often asleep, and, as he puts it after you wake him up, in "quite a pickle."
 * Some of the armour combinations can be this. For example, try wearing Smough's set of armour except for the helmet (even funnier if you customise your character to have a smaller-than-average head). Or wearing Smough's helmet, armour and gauntlets... combined with a Hollow Warrior waistcloth.
 * The description of the Plank Shield.

"Who in their right mind would bother carrying this around? Perhaps you need help."
 * The Chameleon Sorcery enables the player to transform themselves into an inanimate object, such as a large urn or a shrub for example, to blend in with their surroundings. While this spell is active, it can be highly amusing to wander up to an NPC, initiate a conversation with them, and watch as said NPC appears to be happily chatting away to an urn.
 * The description of the Rubbish.

"Undead merchant: "Heeey! Wha-what's the matter!?"
 * Performing a Back Stab on any large, humanoid enemy like Black Knights or Butchers (or even the decidedly non-humanoid Armored Tusk). Because of their size, the animation has the player stabbing them right in the ass.
 * Even worse when you do a backstab attack on these guys unarmed. You can literally fist them to death.
 * What about an unarmed parry, with the exact same effect as a shielded parry (no damage, window in the enemy attack for a ripose) except...with your bare hand. That's either this or a Crowning Moment of Awesome.
 * Sometimes, walking away from a character while in the middle of bussiness will prompt them to say some funny remarks.

Andre: "Oi! Where're you off to?""