Pretty Cure Hollywood Stars

Pretty Cure Hollywood Stars is a fanfic by ryanasaurus 0077 and a spinoff of his previous series Pretty Cure Heavy Metal.

A character sheet can be found here.

This fanfic features examples of:
"Scratch then proceeds to strike Cure Western hard enough to knock her to the ground and kick her HARD. And repeatedly. By the time he's through with her, she's a bloody mess, barely breathing, having been stomped on, kicked, and spat on. Some of her bones are broken, she's coughing up blood, one of her legs is bleeding, and she's missing an eye ("MY EYE! AAAAAAAHHHHHH, MY EYEEEEE!"). Ouch."
 * Anti Heroine: Cure Western. It doesn't help that she isn't known for having a clean mouth.
 * Anti-Villain: Krueger, before her Heel Face Turn.
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Lina mentions in episode 23 that she'd taken a lot of pain that could only come from being drawn and quartered, being crushed by a bridge, or watching Traci Lords porn. The last one is Not So Harmless, though, when you realize that Traci Lords was underage when she filmed most of her porn, with only one exception (Traci, I Love You).
 * Also, in a later episode, Lina says, "The deepest circle of Hell, as I have observed myself, is reserved for traitors, mutineers, and Reichstag climbers."
 * In episode 1, the author states that Lucifer is responsible for "the Black Plague, the Spanish Inquisition, and the porn of Traci Lords." Not surprising, since the author had previously mentioned the Party Van in his first series. In a nod to Mighty Morphin Power Rangers the Movie (and possibly The Nostalgia Critic's review of said movie), Bia brought up the Brady Bunch reunion in a comment.
 * Ashes to Crashes: Noel Eastwood's grave is robbed in episode 40 by Deuce, and this infuriates Lina to no end; once she finds out, her Cluster F-Bomb button remains stuck until Pretty Cure rescues the body, which they caught Deuce experimenting on, and reinters it in the same grave where Deuce found it.
 * As the Good Book Says...: Starting in episode 24, Fannie will quote the New American Bible at least Once an Episode, having been baptized as a Catholic at the start of the same episode.
 * Big Damn Heroes: Cure Horror in episode 23, just when it seems the other Cures are actually going to die. She really fits the description of an LMTH (short for "last-minute turncoat hero", a term coined in the Pretty Cure fan community).
 * Bloodier and Gorier: Episode 23. Scratch makes his presence known to the Cures by beating all five Cures to a pulp. Graphic violence is actually detailed, and the Cures are near death by the time Fannie saves them as Cure Horror. For example:

"[[spoiler:Alex Hollis and Lina Eastwood became newlyweds five years after their exploits as two of Pretty Cure. Alex became an actor bent on revitalizing the musical genre, while Lina became a video game programmer.
 * Bond Villain Stupidity: Scratch would've annihilated the Cures if he had just stuck to one Cure and killed her before moving on to the next.
 * Circles of Hell: After the Cures find out about the passage of Bill 156, they become suspicious about Lucifer's true motives. To confirm their suspicions, Lina is chosen to go to Hell as a spy for the Cures to get some intel on their enemy in a second half episode. Upon reaching the ninth circle (where she learned Lucifer resides), she discovers that he had been traversing the Earth under the name and promptly returns to Earth to warn her friends.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: Lina is so foul-mouthed, she sometimes gives those around her a Sweat Drop.
 * Country Matters: Lina gets the sole instance of the C word in any Pretty Cure series (unless you count Shugo mentioning the trope name and using phonetics in her own series, as well as a couple of Curses Cut Short in the same series), and the way she delivers it, it's a sign that things have become real serious.
 * Creator Breakdown: During the writing of episode 31. The recent DDoS attack on Live Journal did NOT help matters.
 * Cross Dresser: Jeff Crenshaw, the teenage boy in episode 9 who portrays Suzumiya Haruhi in the play adaptation and later winds up getting kidnapped by Nick.
 * Curb Stomp Battle: Scratch inflicts an extremely brutal one on the Cures and actually puts all five on the brink of death when Fannie becomes Cure Horror and turns the tables on him.
 * Dance Battler: Cure Romance. Cure Action, too, though it's definitely not as obvious as the former.
 * Debut Queue: Subverted, as Michelle came after Alex but his lieutenant is Lina--the last Cure to be discovered before Cure Horror.
 * Elephant in The Room: Appears whenever Lina accidentally offends someone. He is described in the first episode in which he appears to look exactly like the one in The Nostalgia Critic's videos (with the same voice, to boot!).
 * Even Evil Has Standards: While not really evil, Lina mentions in episode 47 that is not even worthy of blasphemy against the Holy Spirit--and Jesus himself said that was the strongest blasphemy anyone could utter; so strong, in fact, that many who commit such a blasphemy would probably be so ashamed, they won't even try to ask the Lord's forgiveness! By this point, however, Lina's been steering clear of blasphemy altogether (including frivolous use of "Goddamn" and "Jesus Christ" and their derivatives as expletives or intensifiers); it should also be noted that she was actually shocked at the nature of the dirty trick the mob had pulled on her and wasn't intending to comment on the interpretation of religious beliefs.
 * Expy: Like Shugo before her, Lina is a dead ringer for Emma Watson.
 * Eyepatch of Power: Lina, after her eye gets gouged out in combat during the Curb Stomp Battle in episode 23.
 * Eye Scream: Lina/Cure Western in episode 23. At the end of the episode she receives a cybernetic eye from the newly-redeemed Fannie and from then on wears an eyepatch when around people other than the Cures and her immediate family.
 * Flash Forward/Where Are They Now? Epilogue: At the end of episode 52, We then see the following text appear over images of the characters:

Michelle Simmons joined the Los Angeles Chamber Ballet and became a frequent partner with Alex in the movies when he could borrow her.

Ruby Voorhees is the United States anime ambassador, a position created in response to the Bill 156 scandal. Her job is to restabilize anime in Japan following Tokyo's destruction and the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami.

Penny Arcadia is touring America's comedy circuit. She is slated to appear in her own network TV series on PBS, mainly to prove that PBS comedies shouldn't just be British.

Fannie Fredericks was baptized as a Catholic shortly after Pretty Cure defeated Lucifer. Currently, she's an employee at Bang Zoom! Entertainment, where she helps record English dialogue for anime imported to these United States.]]"

"''He weren't the nicest fella, and he had a couple problems
 * Flipping the Bird: Lina/Cure Western is fond of doing this.
 * Frills of Justice: All the Cures have these except for Cure Western... who gets these in Super Cure form.
 * Gibbs Slap: Fannie does this to Lina halfway through episode 24, after the latter remarks that she read her U.S. History textbook to the end and wondered if the judge at Sacco and Vanzetti's trial used "dago" to refer to them.
 * Girls with Guns: Cure Western. Like with Cure Hendrix, her gun comes with live ammunition in the form of Bottomless Magazines, but at least she's always careful with her gun even when she's in a bad mood. Not so much for Hendrix, though.
 * Gosh Dang It to Heck: Lina uses this trope in school as an alternative to her usual Cluster F Bombing.
 * Government Agency of Fiction: Following the fallout from Bill 156 and the Tohoku earthquake and tsunami, the United States government creates the position of anime ambassador in an attempt to revitalize the anime and manga industry following the havoc Lucifer wreaked in Japan. The spot remains vacant until following the events of the series.
 * Gratuitous French: Ryan takes a cue from Bia in episode 28 and has Naelee sing the theme from Inspecteur Gadget. That's right, the French theme.
 * Heel Face Turn: Krueger. By the time the time comes for her final fight against the Cures, she refuses and from then on fights alongside the Cures.
 * If It's You It's Okay: Lina's teammates in Pretty Cure, including Cure Horror (the redeemed Krueger) later on, are not the least bit angry about her Porn Stash (since her family is OK with the stash) or jealous that they can't have a stash like it.
 * I Know Karate: Lina's not your average girl. At the start of episode 14, she states that she never received any ballet training, instead taking karate, tae kwan do, and savate lessons, becoming a black belt in all three some time before the start of the series.
 * It's a Wonderful Plot: At the start of the Christmas episode, Alex is assaulted by Lucifer himself when confronting him about Bill 156 when he shows up. This hurts so bad, Alex wishes he had never been born. The angel Michael shows up to show him what Hollywood would be like had he never been born: Michelle quit dancing after twisting her ankle (as Alex wasn't there to help her), Ruby fell foul of anti-obscenity laws with an online Internet purchase, Penny is a dropout and a derelict who gets drunk every day, Lina is a dropout and a member of the toughest gang in Hollywood, and Fannie is dead, since Pretty Cure wasn't there to save her. Worse, Lina tries to KILL Alex in a school shooting that would've been her Moral Event Horizon then and there had Alex not wished to be brought back to existence.
 * Leotard of Power: Cure Romance.
 * Limited Wardrobe: The Cures' civilian wardrobe is more limited than with the PCHM Cures, and Lina's two main outfits are even variations on each other: gold top with a P-Head during all seasons (though which way the P-Head faces depends on which season it is) and either blue jeans during the colder months or denim shorts during the warmer months.
 * Made of Iron: Played with. Most of the time, this trope is played straight; however, for particularly dramatic moments (such as a deadly Curb Stomp Battle inflicted by Scratch) this trope is BRUTALLY averted, with the Cures actually one hit away from being killed at one point. Of course, the Cures being Cures, they can take a HEAVY amount of pain and still fulfill their contracts with the author.
 * Meaningful Name: Penny Arcadia, who reads a lot of Penny Arcade. Also, Lina Eastwood, whose name is a portmanteau of Lina Inverse and Clint Eastwood. The latter's name is lampshaded when Fannie remarks, "Doesn't Lina Eastwood sound like a Spaghetti Western character's name?" This refers to Lina Inverse sharing traits with the most famous Spaghetti Western character to date (The Man With No Name), such as being a drifter, and Clint Eastwood portraying said Spaghetti Western character.
 * Mini-Dress of Power: Most of the Cures, with the sole exceptions of Cure Western and her Super Cure form.
 * Mother F-Bomb: Lina sometimes uses the infamous 12-letter street expression in her vocabulary.
 * Name's the Same: Lina Inverse Eastwood is named after a certain bandit-killing sorceress/drifter. In case you don't know how that's possible for someone born in September 1995, Word of God states that her parents broke up shortly after Muriel became pregnant, and she moved to Tokyo in March of that year, and that's where Lina was born several months later. They lived in Tokyo until late 1997, when Muriel learned via email that Noel wanted to kiss and make up. Muriel and Lina returned to Hollywood immediately, and as it turns out Muriel has captured all 78 episodes (at the time) of The Slayers onto 13 T-180 VHS tapes (with the 13th tape labelled as number 14 to avoid Tempting Fate) and brought all 13 tapes back to Hollywood with her.
 * Nice Hat: Cure Western's Stetson "Boss of the Plains" cowboy hat.
 * Ouran: Pops up here (as it did in Pretty Cure Heavy Metal) as a fairly recent ballet that had its origins in the Big Apple. Haruhi Fujioka is this time danced by Michelle.
 * Pass the Popcorn: Lina sometimes does this while watching Alex's ballet classes.
 * Plot Armor: All five of the main Cures, and Fannie once she becomes Cure Horror for the first time.
 * Porn Stash: Lina has a VHS tape stash consisting mainly of Caballero Control Corporation tapes she inherited from her father that she keeps out of her Annoying Younger Sibling Biff's reach. Only her immediate family and her teammates in Pretty Cure know of her stash.
 * When her mother Muriel reveals the stash to Alex and the others when they use the house as Pretty Cure HQ, she explains that the father of Noel Eastwood (the Disappeared Dad) had connections with Al Bloom and acquired a bunch of porn. The only porn he wouldn't touch was the porn that featured Traci Lords, which qualifies as Hilarious in Hindsight when you realize that, with the exception of Traci, I Love You, all the porn Lords had appeared in during her career in the industry was revealed to be child porn before the decade was out. Noel got the entire stash for his 18th birthday, and when he died in a freak accident on the set of a movie a few years before the series takes place, Lina inherited the entire stash, seeing that she was the eldest child despite being only a middle schooler when the stash was passed down to her. As seen in episode 5, Lina takes a bunch of precautions to make sure her unknowing brother doesn't stumble in while she's watching any of it or curiously pick one up unknowingly.
 * Precision F-Strike: Penny, being a notoriously clean comedienne, has two instances of this: telling Nick to "fuck off, Fascist" in episode 4 and, later on, calling Scratch "a shithead".
 * Product Placement: Lina's paternal grandfather collected a Porn Stash via his connections with Al Bloom, then passed it down to Noel for his 18th birthday. Lina inherited the stash after Noel was killed when on the set of The Midnight Zone: The Movie. Did I mention that Al Bloom founded the company most of Lina's stash comes from (Caballero Control Corporation)? Also, Alex's maternal grandfather had connections with Roadshow Home Video back in the '80s, and so he owns many early Roadshow Home Video titles, including at least one porn movie (Insatiable), and since his mother's family hails from Australia, he has a PAL VCR and PAL TV to play them in.
 * Also, there are numerous instances of P-Heads throughout the series, including on Lina's signature outfit. It's as though the author's trying to promote PBS throughout the Pretty Cure fan community.
 * Red Eyes, Take Warning: Subverted; even in villain form Fannie is the least dangerous of her lot, and once she becomes Cure Horror, she's surprisingly competent and able to whack the enemy she faces BIG TIME.
 * Rule of Cool: Lina's cybernetic eye can become a wide variety of colors and can even project full-color images at will. The former property is useful when viewing anaglyphic 3D movies, and the latter property comes in handy when she wants to view anything in other 3D formats. For the most part, though, she chooses to either see shades of red or wear an eyepatch.
 * Satan: He's the Big Bad, generally referred to as Lucifer but also on occasion Mephistopholes. This is because the author hates Satanism with a passion.
 * It gets even weirder: toward the holiday season, it's revealed that he currently roams the Earth under the pseudonym Shintarou Ishihara and is directly responsible for Tokyo pulling a Face Heel Turn on the otaku nation and the city's eventual destruction. Although the otaku nation is responsible for wrecking the city (as seen in Pretty Cure Heavy Metal World Tour), he certainly didn't help matters when the Hollywood Stars Cures track him back to Tokyo and defeat him and he tries to drag them to hell with him, completing the city's destruction in the process.
 * Schedule Slip: As with its predecessor, any instance of this trope is an inversion, as episodes are pushed forward to an earlier date than intended if something comes up so that the author can't post the episode the Friday he intended to post it on.
 * Shout-Out: Episode 21 is a Shout-Out to Scream, and episode 22 to Scream 2. Episode 21 also starts with a Law and Order-style opening that Lina barges into as she describes the episode's murder mystery to the audience as the murder itself is displayed.
 * The next episode preview for episode 24 is a parody of Inspector Gadget, complete with the exploding message.
 * Sick Episode: Lina suffers a stroke early in episode 20 but makes a full recovery by the end of the episode.
 * Sound Effect Bleep: Either angry words from Lina or sound effects from other sources (including a car chase involving a police car and a speed demon) censor profanity in Scratch's recitation of his own version of the Elder Swear.
 * Stock Australian Phrases: Alex, being of Australian descent, is given to these quite a few times. Most notable is his frequent usage of the words "crikey" and "strewth".
 * Strawman Political: Ishihara is portrayed here as the Devil himself. Here's what Jonathan Coulton has to say about people like him:

Cuz he drank a lot, and he beat his wife, and he always acted rude

Killed and ate some babies, and he copped an attitude''"

"[Alex and Lina encounter a roadblock on the US-Mexico border set up by Nick]
 * Super Gender Bender: Alex transforms into a girl as Cure Romance.
 * Take That: Lina jabs at a subliminal message in the Pokémon episode "The Whistle Stop" when she mentions Lucifer isn't Leo Burnett or 4Kids! Entertainment; earlier, in episode 11, there's a jab at the Permanent Red Link Club:

Alex: Oh, strewth...

Lina: What the fuck are we going through? Brazil Nut Disorder?

Alex: Nah, too nonsensical."

"Lina: Those FUCKS! How DARE they fuck around with me! ALL FOR NOTHING!? EXCEPT FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES!? Why, if and when I join the LAPD, I'm going to FUCKING initiate a STING OPERATION on the Los Angeles Mafia FOR TROLLING US and trying to make even the Batman look bad! These are SO FUCKED UP, even the SICILIAN Mafia's various Dons must be disgusted by now! There is no curse in ELVISH, ENTISH, or the tongues of MAN bad enough for such TREACHERY! And even if I WANTED to blaspheme, NOT ONE BLASPHEMY, NOT EVEN AGAINST THE HOLY GHOST, IN ANY LANGUAGE can reach such levels either! IT'S JUST THAT FUCKED UP, what the Mafia tried to pull on me yesterday!"
 * A later episode has Lina badmouthing My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic (adding that there are other ways to send the message presented in this show than just being all saccharine with it). Bia Hoshigo, who inspired the author to start writing Pretty Cure fics, hates the show with a burning Cure Passion; the author himself is neutral about MLP:FIM, and to him it's watchable at best.
 * Tempting Fate: Just like in Scream, the phrase "I'll be right back!" is treated as such, as characters have been known to die within the episode they said it in. Lina says it sometimes, if only because she knows she has Contractual Immortality backing her, most notably when Hollywood High's fate hinges on a Wire Dilemma and Lina makes the mistake of saying "I'll be right back!" before setting off to deactivate the Computerized Wrecking Crew 3000.
 * Theme Tune Cameo: "Hurricane" by Needtobreathe plays a few times during the second half.
 * This Is All The Tropes Bitch: Lina sometimes uses "bitch" as a Verbal Tic, particularly as Cure Western.
 * Too Soon: Due to a real-life event at the high school he used to go to happening the week episode 48 was to be posted, the episode's been altered before posting since posting fanfiction that even Michael Bay would find hard to emulate on film is considered poor taste among said high school's students. Sure, the plot remains the same (complete with a Wire Dilemma), but now Lina/Cure Western is trying to cut wires to incapacitate a machine that automatically activates a wrecking ball outside Hollywood High.
 * The Twist: Lina is INFURIATED to find out what the Mafia pulled on her with the so-called "minority" gang toward the end of episode 47. So angry, in fact, that she's obviously trying her hardest not to blaspheme.

"Cure Horror: You were sent to heal the contrite. [punches Scratch] Lord, have mercy.
 * Wedding Day: The Spanish teacher gets married episode 15. Alex shows up in a tuxedo, and most of the girls are wearing formal dresses, but Lina is wearing a fully white suit with dress pants. Of course, this is Lina we're talking about.
 * What Do You Mean It's Not for Kids?: There's more violence than in Pretty Cure Heavy Metal, and Lina herself is a regular sailor mouth outside of school, tossing around the F word and other vulgarities freely. Despite Word of God stating that there will be absolutely no sex scenes (though Lina is seen to watch porn tapes at least once; she just won't be watching sex scenes on camera), it seems as though he'll be pushing for an NC-17 rating for this series nevertheless. It'll just be the violence and extra-heavy profanity (all of which will be uncensored) that'll get it its NC-17.
 * What Do You Mean Its Not Symbolic: After Fannie becomes Cure Horror for the first time, she asks the other Cures to pray for her as she pummels Scratch with extreme prejudice.

Cures: [in unison] Lord, have mercy.

Cure Horror: You came to call sinners. [knees Scratch in the groin] Christ, have mercy.

Cures: [in unison] Christ, have mercy.

Cure Horror: You plead for us at the right hand of the Father. [sends Scratch flying with a roundhouse kick] Lord, have mercy.

Cures: [in unison] Lord, have mercy."


 * What the Hell, Player?: In the author's words: "Dammit, Lina, do you have to drop an ethnic slur just because you think the situation calls for it!?"
 * Who Wears Short Shorts?: Lina with one of her casual outfits, as well as in Cure and Super Cure form.
 * Wire Dilemma: The climax of episode 48, when
 * X Meets Y: Pretty Cure meets Eiga Sentai Scanranger with a heaping dose of Darker and Edgier.
 * You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Bonus points for Alex actually having blue hair.
 * You Wanna Get Sued?: Played straight when Cure Comedy says "I don't know" when mentioning the possibility of another cult. As the phrase is used to censor said cult's actual name, Comedy doesn't get slimed.
 * Zettai Ryouiki: Cure Romance and, eventually, Super Cure Western.