Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas/Funny

"Dr. Gonzo: Jesus! Did you see what God just did to us, man?
 * The salt shaker full of cocaine is opened when they're bombing down the freeway in a convertible...predictably, the cocaine catches the wind and flies all over.

Duke: God didn't do that, you did it! You're a fuckin' Narcotics agent! I knew it!"

"Hitchhiker: I've never ridden in a convertible before!
 * The scene with the hitchhiker.

Duke: Is that right?"

"Duke: (gulps down the acid) How long have I got?
 * The bar scene in the first hotel. Duke is still feeling the acid and sees the floor as flooding with blood. He then starts seeing the crowd around him as walking lizards. This is all nightmare fuel, even when a hallucination of Dr. Gonzo is speaking gibberish. Then, Duke spouts this line: "PLEASE! TELL ME ABOUT THE FUCKING GOLF SHOES!"
 * Though Duke and Dr. Gonzo are taking plenty of drugs while driving, it's imperative that they be sober while they check into the hotel. Dr. Gonzo offers the aforementioned acid to Duke.

Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed, and it'll be a damn miracle if we get there before you turn into a wild animal.

Duke: (begins whacking Dr. Gonzo with a fly swatter) PIG FUCKER PIG FUCKER PIG FUCKER! (irritatedly speeds up)"

"Duke: There's this great big machine in the sky- kind of an electric snake- it's coming right at us.
 * While Duke and Dr. Gonzo are in their hotel room, Duke, who is still high as a kite, continues hallucinating. The sober Dr. Gonzo's reaction is priceless.

Dr. Gonzo: (completely deadpan) Shoot it."

"Duke: His life was ruined forever."
 * Duke is watching a highly inaccurate educational film about drugs stating the average "dope fiend" can be identified by how "his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking off when he can't find a rape victim", then Duke reflexively takes a look at his own pants.
 * During a flashback, a businessman comes into a bathroom to find an unusual sight: a junkie licking Duke's shirt sleeve madly. He calmly turns around, leaves the bathroom, and is never seen again.