You Got Haruhi Rolled

""Review Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow-ribboned, headband-wearing goddess demands it!""

You Got HaruhiRolled! is a Haruhi Suzumiya Crack Fic written by superstarultra on Fanfiction.net. The fic is basically what happens when you take wanton violence, character bashing, shameless parodies, major OOC-ness, randomness, foul language, sexual references and situations, and Crack Pairings, throw them in a meat grinder, and gratuitous amounts of Rule of Funny.

Influential enough that it spawned imitators.

This Fanfic features examples of:
"Belome: "So now we got thievery, stupidity, assholelishness... and before I forget, that dude over there tells me you pushed him.""
 * Abhorrent Admirer: Kuyou seems to be one of these to Fujiwara as of late.
 * Accidental Pervert: Fujiwara, Kyouko, and Sasaki in the Thanksgiving chapter.
 * Actor Allusion: In the Persona arc, Taniguchi's Persona is Mr. Kimidori, Kyon's is Alucard, Itsuki's is Lelouch...
 * A Day in the Limelight: The Emo-ri arc is arguably this for Emiri.
 * A God Am I: Haruhi and Sasaki. The latter just hides it better.
 * Arguably the author himself.
 * All Just a Dream: Subverted in the court case arc as it's directly called a daydream.
 * All Love Is Unrequited: Played for Laughs in Chapter 64, which gives us one-sided Kuyou/Fujiwara, Fujiwara/Kyouko, Kyouko/Sasaki, and... Sasaki/Sasaki.
 * Animated Actors: The second short in Chapter 9.
 * Anything That Moves: Whenever Kyon tries to get a girlfriend (Chapter 13 and 47).
 * Aren't You Going to Ravish Me?: Mikuru in the first chapter of the court case arc upon hearing she isn't as pretty as Aphrodite.
 * Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Subverted since it's a Kangaroo Court:

"Kyon: "Nagato, this is the work of a crack fic writer. Once a chapter is over, NOTHING is canon. It all resets.""
 * Ass Pull: Lots of them, and played for laughs.
 * Axe Crazy: Ryoko, mostly. Also, Haruhi in the Kangaroo Court arc at one point.
 * Sasaki in the Death Note chapter.
 * Bait and Switch: Haruhi accidentally stepping into traffic and dodging it successfully. She's then immediately crushed by a blimp.
 * She got better though...
 * Batman Gambit: The court case arc.
 * Big Brother Instinct: Kyon definitely has this, as shown in the chapter where Haruhi has a crush on his sister.
 * Big Eater: Haruhi, Kuyou, and Tsuruya. The latter is implied to be able to devour at least ten times her own body weight.
 * Big No: In the court case arc after Haruhi's dream and in the anniversary for no reason.
 * Bizarre Alien Biology: Kuyou is revealed to have this in the latest chapter.
 * Black Comedy Rape: Mikuru..
 * BLAM Episode: The anniversary chapter. Also, Chapter 76.
 * Bowdlerise : Played for laughs in Chapter 59.
 * Breaking the Fourth Wall: In the Resident Evil parody chapter, the characters are able to hear the author's voice as the announcer.
 * This happens again in the Silent Hill parody, except
 * And then there are Chapter 56
 * Done quite a bit when things get pretty hectic or when the characters are annoyed.
 * Brick Joke: In Chapter 15, Gilgamesh mentions that he wound up in the Haruhi universe after Ultros ripped him off, so he wandered the multiverse, vowing revenge. Sixty-seven chapters later, he finally gets the chance.
 * The blood on the wall re-appears in chapter 81 after showing up in the Silent Hill arc.
 * Early on, The Stinger at the end of each chapter was, "Review, Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!" One reviewer pointed out that this was incorrect, and that Haruhi wore a headband with yellow ribbons on it, so about 50 or so chapters after this was pointed out, the writer corrected it to what you see at the top of this page.
 * Brother-Sister Incest: Imouto steals Kyon's phone so that he'll have no choice but to pay attention to her, instead of hang out with his friends, in Chapter 66. Her inner monologue implies that she's trying to invoke this trope.
 * Butt Monkey: Emiri.
 * Sometimes Mikuru, Kyon, Tsuruya, or even Haruhi herself. Depends on what the plot calls for.
 * The Cameo: A ton of them in the court case arc, including the aforementioned Gilgamesh and Ultros, as well as Chupon, Belome, Doakes the Darknut, Phan Phan, a Skarmory with an appetite for Haruhi's pancreas, Kratos, Konata, Kagami, Tsukasa, and Miyuki, Phoenix Wright, Kino and Hermes, Emi and Hisao, and last but not least, Ryokos from alternate series and continuities.
 * Cat Fight: The AVTT arc.
 * Chapter Fluidity: Except for the arcs, which are never more than five chapters long (out of an eighty-four chapter fic so far), the chapters could be read in any order and you wouldn't notice.
 * Lampshaded in the court case arc:

"Ultros: "I kinda agree with cheese-breath here. I'm against you, and even I agree that was out of line!""
 * Cloudcuckoolander: Kyouko started off no more or less crazy than anyone else, but she had definitely settled into this role by the time of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force parody.
 * Also, Naru...
 * The author was this himself in his latest self-insert.
 * Combat Tentacles: Kuyou's hair.
 * Comically Missing the Point: Phoenix asking Ryoko if the blueberry muffins were any good . The author lampshades the fact that it was simply a minor detail in an already idiotic revenge story.
 * Companion Cube: Kyouko and her Magic 8-Ball in the pirate arc.
 * Ryoko really seems to love her knives in this fic...
 * Continuity Nod: There have been a couple in the most recent chapter.
 * Contrived Coincidence: The event that led to Haruhi getting a trial in the first place.
 * Crack Fic
 * Cruel Twist Ending: At the end of the Emo-ri arc,
 * Deadpan Snarker: Kyon, even MORE than he normally is in canon.
 * Yuki and Oruki also fit this trope as well.
 * Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Chapter 81. A giant cheesecake starts destroying the school, and the cast tries to destroy it with no such luck. A fat AU Haruhi comes from another fic of the author's, and manages to devour the cake in two minutes.
 * Disaster Dominoes: What starts the main disaster in the Thanksgiving chapter.
 * Disproportionate Retribution: From the Court Case arc. Long story short,.
 * Also from that arc, there's Haruhi demanding that Imouto dies for insulting her honor and in the daydream when an original character crushes a guy's windpipe for chewing too loud.
 * Doorstopper: At over 300,000 words, it is longer than the longest Harry Potter book and still incomplete. Even more amazing, most of that length is from the two most recent Story Arcs.
 * Double Standard Rape (Female on Male): Fujiwara is heavily implied to be regularly raped by Kuyou, and this is Played for Laughs.
 * Embarrassing First Name: Sasaki's given name? Zelda.
 * Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Kyon's sister is always called Imouto, the Japanese word for "little sister" (though due to Rule of Funny, Imouto is often treated as being her actual name). In addition, TCCP and TSCP are short for The Computer Club President and The Student Council President, respectively.
 * Even Evil Has Standards: After Haruhi utters a death threat to Imouto (after Haruhi was revealed to have been a total jerkass to her in the past):

"Haruhi: "Don't feel sorry for me, Mikuru. Feel sorry for Konata! She's forgotten the pirate ways of old! Has a big, fancy, mechanical ship and everything... What kind of self-respecting pirate uses torpedoes?""
 * Everything's Better with Monkeys: Averted in the anniversary; they're Powerwilds.
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Some of the chapter titles are like this, especially the older ones which had several stories each.
 * Expospeak Gag: Kuyou occasionally does this.
 * Fan Nickname: Invoked. After their first appearances in the fic, the author started referring to the Computer Club President and the Student Council President as TCCP and TSCP, respectively, on the grounds of being easier to type. Also, the bespectacled boy whom Kyon saves in the seventh novel is called Four-Eyes here, because he is an exceedingly-minor character who doesn't get referred to by a name or nickname of any kind. Superstarultra and his friends wanted to be able to refer to the character in fan fiction, but did not want to come up with a name for him in case it got Jossed.
 * Fate Worse Than Death: Implied to happen to Fujiwara in Chapter 64.
 * Also, Haruhi is threatened with having her pancreas pecked out by a Skarmory every day for months, surviving due to her god powers in the court case arc. Fortunately, this never happens.
 * Flanderization Haruhi, Kyon, Yuki, and Ryoko. Respectively, they've become a total Jerkass, a Deadpan Snarker, a Gamer Chick, and a Knife Nut.
 * The amount of this varies from chapter to chapter. Sometimes there's none at all. And sometime the characters are derailed completely.
 * And don't forget about poor Kyouko...
 * Flat What: Happens every now and then. Haruhi being crushed by a blimp, for example!
 * Yuki's response to Ultros' reason for . It's INCREDIBLY stupid.
 * Follow the Leader: This fic has inspired some other crackfics, and was itself inspired by a Code Geass fanfic titled You Got Lulu Rolled.
 * Freudian Slip: Hermes' "Come on me" line from the court case arc (instead of "come with me"). Justified if you know the series.
 * Gadgeteer Genius: Kyouko in the Aqua Teen Hunger Force parody, surprisingly.
 * Gag Boobs: Mikuru.
 * Gang of Bullies: The Anti-SOS Brigade comes off as this when they're not being used as comic relief.
 * Gratuitous Japanese: Fujiwara says the word pantsu once.
 * Harem: Parodied in Chapter 75, among others.
 * Hammerspace: Ritsu's skirt and Chupon's mouth in the court case arc.
 * Hollywood Pudgy: Takeo calls Mikuru this in the court case arc (not by name, though).
 * Hot-Blooded: Everyone in the pirate arc.
 * Humans Are Cthulhu: In a Fourth-Wall breaking variation, in every chapter where superstarultra self-inserts himself into the fic, he refers to himself and his friends as demonic otherworldly creatures. From the perspective of the characters, who are fictional, this is absolutely true. They literally can't disobey him.
 * Humanoid Abomination: Kuyou is revealed to be this in the latest chapter.
 * Idiot Ball: Passed around throughout the court case arc
 * Incredibly Lame Pun: Chapter 67's "The Melancholy of GWARuhi Suzumiya".
 * Intercontinuity Crossover: Aside from the court case arc, there is also the pirate arc which crosses over with Lucky Star, and some more minor examples.
 * Interspecies Romance: Fujiwara and Kuyou in the pirate arc, but not in the way you'd think.
 * It's Not Rape If You Enjoyed It: Brought up by Taniguchi in Chapter 71.
 * Jerkass: Haruhi, Oruki, Fujiwara, and Ryoko can be this.
 * Taniguchi in Chapter 54.
 * Kangaroo Court: There is an arc based on the concept.
 * Lampshade Hanging: Played for laughs with the series.
 * Lemony Narrator: In the Author's Notes, and every so often in the actual text.
 * Lolicon:, in Chapter 38.
 * Itsuki, when he's not Kyonsexual, falls into this.
 * Made of Iron: The entire cast, but special mention goes to Haruhi for surviving being crushed by a blimp.
 * And Kyouko for surviving getting thrown under the tracks of a trolley.
 * Marshmallow Hell: Mikuru, twice. The first was in Alien VS Time-Traveler when she did it to Taniguchi when Yuki kicked her at him (unintentionally).
 * The second was in the anniversary, when she nearly tried to kill Fujiwara this way in a battle.
 * Medium Awareness: The entire cast.
 * Mega Crossover: The court case arc.
 * MST: Fujiwara does this to a recruitment video in chapter 84.
 * MST3K Mantra: The characters get rather upset in-universe over idiotic plots and such. It counts as this because of the aforementioned Medium Awareness.
 * Mukokuseki: The second short in Chapter 1 parodies this.
 * My Friends and Zoidberg: Emiri.
 * Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Belome in the court case arc. He was only doing a good job as a judge because he was dealing with complete idiots, but when Yuki
 * No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: Occasionally.
 * The Nondescript: Emiri again, except when she becomes emo.
 * Noodle Implements: The Fetish chapter, where Haruhi has a half-finished fanfic with all the things she wants to do to involving: whipped cream, a feather-duster, chocolate sauce, scented candles, strawberries, a watermelon, a chinchilla, a golf club, and half a quart of orange sherbet. The first half of that list seems fairly normal, but somewhere around the watermelon it starts to meander into this trope.
 * Not-So-Harmless Villain:.
 * OC Stand In: Four-Eyes, in the court case arc, is actually a minor character from the novels who was not even given a name. It's a Downplayed Trope though, in that he is no more important here than he is in canon.
 * Off the Rails: Chapter 81, written one year after the fic started, is quite possibly crazier than any chapter before or since. It's even the chapter title.
 * Oh Crap: The Silent Hill arc.
 * Oh Crap There Are Fanfics of Us: Chapter 34.
 * One of Us: Aside from the obvious fanfic writer thing, the author is a fan of several games, anime series, and is very familiar with TV Tropes.
 * Only Sane Man: Usually Kyon, though the role tends to be filled by his sister, of all people, in his absence.
 * Original Character: Subverted? Double Subverted? Whatever?? in that instead of creating any for himself, the author got permission to use the OCs of other fanfic authors in the fandom. Thus, Oruki and Naru come from Meet the Suzumiyas by JonBob0008, Norio comes from Broken Mosaics by nukerjsr, Mirai is from I Am The Future, Mirai Nagato by Cha-Cha-Cheesecake, Mukuro is the creation of 7MukuroRealm7 and shows up in all of his fics, and Takeo and Asami are a pair of OCs created by Mr Wang 330 but have not yet shown up in any of his fics. Note, however, that Four-Eyes is not an example, being merely a Fan Nickname for a minor character who has no name in canon.
 * The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: The Anti-SOS Brigade. Ironically, in the arc that is a parody of several pirate series, they aren't evil, but eventually join the SOS Brigade's pirate crew at the very end.
 * The Ditz: Naru can be this at times, as can Kyouko.
 * Refuge in Audacity: Sometimes. For example in the anniversary chapter when Itsuki asks if anyone has experience in birthing babies; Ryoko asks if eating babies would help the situation.
 * Right Now Montage: Chapter 80.
 * Rule of Funny: Applies to many many things in the fic.
 * Rule 34: Chapter 34. It's actually perfectly safe for work.
 * Rule 63: Chapter 1.
 * Done again, on a wider scale, in Chapter 26.
 * Running Gag: Early on, Churuya and Ashakura would show up, claiming that Tsuruya and Ryoko, respectively, were their mothers. The concept hasn't been used very much recently...
 * Ruthless Modern Pirates: Konata's crew in the pirate arc is this. to Haruhi's disgust.

"Haruhi: ""Oooooooohhhhh... I'm so sorry, Emiri. Main characters only. You understand, right?"""
 * Satellite Character: Emiri. Taken Up to Eleven from the source material.

"A/N: Moral: "Always be nice to minor characters, kiddies. Otherwise, ""
 * Satire, Parody, Pastiche: In a whole lot of chapters.
 * Schedule Slip: Subverted. Superstarultra still updates; he just prefers to separate his short chapters from his long ones these days.
 * Screw the Rules, I Have Money: Tsuruya invokes this trope at least twice in this fic.
 * Self Insert: Chapter 56.
 * And  Except for the portal to the fic's world made out of blood, of course.
 * Ship Tease: Outright Lampshaded in Chapter 84. The character who is being shipped is not amused.
 * Shout-Out: Chapter 27, the Anti-SOS Brigade's theme, uses Let's Fighting Love as the title theme song.
 * The names of Haruhi's parents come from the well-known fanfic Meet the Suzumiyas.
 * Not to mention the Shout-Out to the author's other work in Chapter 81...
 * Fujiwara and Kuyou have a conversation in Ubbi Dubbi at one point.
 * The third short of Chapter 84 is one big parody of Eliezer Yudkowsky's "AI-in-a-box" thought experiment.
 * Itsuki's Lolicon behavior is from The Abridging of Haruhi Suzumiya, as is Yuki's Scary Black Man persona (which doesn't show up as often, but still...).
 * And of course, the Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Abridged Series chapter(s), the Aqua Teen Hunger Force chapters, the pirate arc, the GWAR chapter, the chapter devoted to TV Tropes, and many more. In fact, if we listed all the examples we would be here all day.
 * The Silent Bob: Averted with Yuki, but until recently, this (sort of) described Kuyou, who rarely spoke, and when she did, it was in underscored text. Word of God says that she'll talk normally more often since the novel 10 preview came out.
 * Single-Target Sexuality: Itsuki, to Kyon.
 * Kyouko to Sasaki. Interestingly, this is the only pairing in the fic which is never contradicted by other chapters.
 * Sliding Scale of Comedy and Horror: Some of the chapters, such as Chapter 71, are more scary than funny. It may be relevant that, in addition to being a comedic genius, superstarultra has also written some very good horror fanfics.
 * Snap Back: Occasionally. For example, at the end of the AVTT arc,  is pissed at Mikuru and Yuki. Next chapter, everything's fine and dandy. Subverted when some incidents like this are brought up again.
 * Space Whale Aesop: At the end of Emo-ri:

"Student Council President: "It's worse than that, Kimidori! WE'VE BEEN HARUHIROLLED!""
 * Since it's Played for Laughs like everything else in the fic, it may double as a Spoof Aesop...
 * Spin-Off: Cracks in the SOS Dan. Can basically be described as jokes that were too short to be expanded into Haruhi Rolled.
 * The Obesity of Haruhi Suzumiya. Originally supposed to be an arc, however the author decided to make it its own fic instead.
 * You Got SasakiRolled, a one-shot that the author wrote for April Fool's Day, which contains short stories by Fujiwara, Kyouko, and Kuyou.
 * Arguably all of the author's other Crack Fic for the Haruhi series could count, if a throwaway line in the anniversary chapter is any indication.
 * Stylistic Suck: Chapter 59, as well as every time there is a Story Within a Story.
 * Sugar Bowl: Chapter 59.
 * Take That: Chapter 59 to 4Kids! Entertainment.
 * Tastes Like Feet: Belome after licking people in the court case arc. Highlights include Fujiwara tasting like "burnt asshole".
 * Thanks for the Mammary: Fujiwara to Kyouko and Sasaki in the Thanksgiving chapter. Hilarity Ensues.
 * "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Once Mikuru has too much booze, she goes off on a tangent on why she hates the others so much.
 * The Stinger: Every single chapter ends with "Review, Haruhi-worshippers! Your yellow ribbon-wearing goddess demands it!" Beginning with Chapter 56, this was altered to the page quote.
 * The Ugly Barnacle: The anniversary chapter is set up to look like the eponymous fad from SpongeBob SquarePants is the special itself. A few ellipses later, the aliens start complaining about it.
 * This Is for Emphasis, Bitch: Whenever Yuki goes into her Scary Black Man mode from the abridged series.
 * Those Two Guys: Nakagawa and Sakanaka, in Chapter 75.
 * Title Drop: From Chapter 9:


 * Toilet Humor: Sometimes.
 * Too Dumb to Live: Kyouko and occasionally Haruhi.
 * Too Smart for Strangers: Imouto, but not, surprisingly, Miyoko.
 * Troperiffic: The anniversary chapter.
 * Trope Overdosed: A good chunk of tropes displayed on the page are from the court case arc and the anniversary chapter.
 * Twist Ending: To the Emo-ri arc.
 * Unsuspectingly Soused: During Chapter 68, Emiri decides to liven up a sour Ryoko at a party by  Moments later, she is babbling about her misfortunes and even proceeds to make out with an equally-hammered Kyon.
 * Up to Eleven: The anniversary chapter.
 * Villain Chapter: Chapter 64 focuses on the Anti-SOS Brigade. Chapter 39 focuses on Sasaki exclusively.
 * Chapter 84 has three Anti-SOS Brigade-centric stories one after another.
 * Villains Out Shopping: The Anti-SOS Brigade almost literally do this in the second short of Chapter 84.
 * Weaksauce Weakness: Towards the end of Chapter 81, the author is causing absolute chaos, having all the characters on the ropes. He is finally defeated by, which squicks him out so much that he leaves of his own accord.
 * White Void Room: The beginning of Chapter 81.
 * Who's Laughing Now?: Emiri at the end of the Emo-ri arc.
 * Word Salad Humor: Often.
 * X Meets Y: Haruhi-chan meets The Abridging of Haruhi Suzumiya, just much cruder.
 * Zombie Apocalypse: Chapter 49.