The Big Lebowski/Funny

"Attacker #1: WHERE'S THE MONEY, LEBOWSKI?! (shoves Dude's head in the toilet again) WHERE'S THE MONEY, SHITHEAD?!
 * Right off the bat--poor dude is having his head forcefully flushed through his toilet at the behest of two random thugs...

Dude: (legitimately confused) It's...it's...it's down there somewhere; let me take another look."

"Attacker #2: (discovers Dude's bowling ball) ...what is this?!
 * It very slowly dawns on them that they don't have the right place. "Isn't this guy supposed to be a millionaire, or something?"

Dude: Obviously, you're not a golfer."

"Donny: Where you going, Dude?
 * "DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY!? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!?!"
 * (see Spit Take at the main page): "What is that, yoga?", "It increases the chances of conception" ...
 * The Jesus. That is all.
 * The Dude barricades his door to prevent another breaking-and-entering. He forgot that the door opens the other way.
 * Even better later on, when the Dude trips over the barricade.
 * Walter "commends" remains to the Pacific Ocean. But the wind commends them all the way into the Dude's face.
 * The one and only line Walter delivers calmly: "And, I would like my undies back."
 * When The Dude's car gets stolen (and his phone has been ringing for the past ten minutes of the movie):

The Dude: I'm going home, Donny.

Donny: Your phone's ringing, Dude.

The Dude: Thank you, Donny."

"Walter: Smokey this is not Nam, this is bowling there are rules.
 * "Yeah, well, y'know that's just like uhh...your opinion, man."
 * The nihilists light Dude's car on fire. "Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car."
 * The entire scene with Smokey.

Walter: Has the whole world gone CRAZY? AM I THE ONLY ONE AROUND HERE WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT THE RULES? MARK IT ZERO!"


 * The Complete Monster police chief in Malibu (combined with Nausea Fuel, because he makes you so sick) throwing the coffee mug right in Dude's face. Enhanced by Dude's reaction ("Ow, fucking fascist!").
 * As The Dude is being hustled into Mr. Lebowski's limo, he yells out, "Hey, careful, man, there's a beverage here, man!"
 * "Also, Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please."