Field of Dreams/Funny

"Annie: "If you build what, who will come?"
 * Most of the conversations between Ray and Annie illustrate two things: the depth of their relationship, and just how completely whacked their common sense of humor is. The following conversation takes place the first night the voice is heard and is delivered in bored and annoyed dead-pan style:

Ray: "It didn't say."

Annie: "I hate it when that happens."

Ray: "Yeah, me, too.""

"Shoeless Joe: "Yeah, Ty Cobb wanted to come too... but none of us could stand the son of a bitch while we were alive, SO WE TOLD HIM TO STICK IT!!! BAAHAHAHAA "
 * Upon returning to the farm with Terence and Archie, Ray finds that the players have brought friends so they can play an actual game. Joe tells him that the field is already semi-legendary on the other side, and that all the old great ball players wanted to come. To emphasize this, Archie starts pointing and naming several famous ball players of ages past. Then Joe, who has been very reserved and soft-spoken up to this point, delivers a boistrous Take That that any baseball enthusiast would bust a gut laughing over:

"Archie: "Hey Ump, how about a warning?"
 * Archie living out his dream of stepping up to the plate and winking at the pitcher to psych him out... didn't quite go how he envisioned it. The next two pitches were "high and tight." Translation: aimed at his head.

Umpire: "Okay," (waits a beat, glancing at the pitcher, but actually continues talking to Archie) "Watch out you don't get killed, kid.""