Infected (novel)/Awesome


 * The awesomeness of Perry Dawsey's multiple-day-long battle with his triangles is nigh impossible to truly capture, but I'll try: He kills all 7 of them. All. Seven. Of. Them. He tears out the one on his left thigh with tweezers, carves out the one on his right shin with a steak knife, stabs the one on his collarbone with a fork, fries the one on his ASS with his STOVE TOP, sets the ones on his spine and left forearm on fire with a rum-soaked towel, and kills the last one, located on his BALLS, by amputating his dick with a pair of chicken scissors. AND THERE'S MORE. He then proceeds to set the apartment flat on fire, killing patty's hatchlings. Just to recap, he's currently naked in the middle of winter, with one good leg, clutching onto his amputated dick in his right hand, and with 4 rotting dead triangles in his body. He then escapes downstairs by HOPPING ON ONE FOOT, taking multiple steps at a time, while being shot at by Dew Phillips. When he makes it outside, he then proceeds to CHARGE at Dew, who shoots him in the chest. PERRY. GETS. BACK. UP. Dew then shoots him in his one good leg. Then, after bleeding so much blood that the authorities assumed it must have come from two people, he STILL has enough strength left to nearly strangle a doctor who approaches him. And to top it all off, he GETS BETTER.