Network Decay/Quotes

""It's unbelievable! The Cartoon Network is running live-action sitcoms now! They're the Cartoon Network! They're supposed to run cartoons! How can they get away with this?! It'd be like a news network running stuff besides news!""

- Jason Fox, FoxTrot

"Zodd: Don't you think we can do a little better than DTV?

Phil: Why, what's wrong with DTV? It's television for demons, we're demons -- it's perfect.

Zodd: Yeah, but you know how these specialty cable networks are: they start out real good, but then they lose their focus and things go downhill real quick. Just look at what happened to G4!"

- Berserk Abridged

""Then my third thought was, 'Hold on, what's it doing on the SCI-FI CHANNEL?' Since then BRAVEHEART has been shown on the Sci-Fi Channel, live action movies are shown on Cartoon Network and there isn't a music video to be seen on MTV so channel formats straying from the channel names doesn't really surprise me anymore.""

- Triple Kelly, Wrestlecrap

""There's no bloody music on the network anymore! Yes, I'm aware this is an age-old complaint, but the word "music" is right there in the name of the channel, you loathsome cretins. At the very least, stop being disingenuous and just go ahead change the name of the network from MTV to Road Rules-Pimp My Ride-and-Intoxicated-College-Students-Doing-Disgusting-Stunts-for-No-Pay-but-Rather-Because-Someone-Shoved-a-Camera-in-Their-Faces TV.""

- Stewie Griffin in his rant "Why MTV Is the Root of All Evil", Stewie's Guide to World Domination

""Des [Lynham] switched sides to ITV as it has more live football than The BBC, unsurprising as even Cartoon Network has more live football than the BBC.""

- Angus Deaton, Have I Got News for You

"By the way, Mom dropped cable in 1990 and I haven't had access to it since. I imagine if I ever wanted to come back, I'd have this conversation with the cable guy:

"So, I can get music videos on MTV with this?"

"No, they don't do those anymore. They do supercheap reality programs."

"Oh......What about VH-1?"

"They show nothing but I Love The __'s shows now."

"But that's an even bigger niche than showing only videos! How could that possibly be more profitable?"

"Dunno, but it's their station."

"How about Tech TV?"

"They changed their name to G 4 and their focus to video games."

"So they cover game news?"

"No, they buy repeats of male-centered shows and run them."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"I'm sure it does to somebody."

"What are they running on Nick At Nite?"

"Nothing made earlier than 2000."

"TLC....does that still stand for The Learning Channel?"

"Yes, but you couldn't learn anything from it now if you tried."

"What's on the Disney Channel?"

"Nothing even remotely related to Disney."

"How about Cartoon Network?"

"They're showing live-action movies."

"Er.....is there anything on this cable package that actually does what the name says it's supposed to do??"

"The Home and Garden Channel still does....but I hear they're shifting their focus to Mexican wrestling in three months."

Sad."

- Platypus Comix's article on MTV's Top 20 Videos of 1984

"CNN Representative: These new scripted programs will attract deep-pocketed advertisers!

Mulberry: But what if I want to watch the news? Where am I gonna get THAT?

CNN Representative: Eh...we sell reruns on DVD, if anyone's interested..."

- Mulberry's 2009 Fall TV Preview

""Hello, cable service? I'm watching Black Entertainment Television, but there aren't any black people and it isn't entertaining.""

- Huey Freeman, The Boondocks

""Who Wants to Be a Superhero was a reality show developed by Stan Lee and the Sci Fi Channel, before they decided poor literacy is cool and that women prefer the letter Y as opposed to C and I.""

- Linkara, "Top 15 Comics I'll Never Review"

"Announcer: Coming soon on Ninja Movie Week! Ninja Dry Cleaner, Ninja Shoe Repair, Ninja Video Rental and Ninja Dentist! Coming this week on... See-Fee?... S-Y-F-Y? Eh. Um. That wrestling channel!"

- The Nostalgia Critic, "Raiders of the Story Arc: TMNT"

""This weekend on The History Channel, someone digs through old plastic junk ("It's a Dukes of Hazzard wastebasket!"), someone else tries to sell a doll head ("I used to take the heads off the bodies, and I kept the heads")... and Larry the Cable Guy taste-tests Tabasco sauce ("I can't feel my dadgum tongue!"). The History Channel. What the hell happened to us?""

- Jimmy Kimmel Live

""Stupid Adult Swim only plays it on Saturdays now.""

- Robot Chicken, during a segment about Inuyasha.

""ANIME IS A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME! WE'RE GOING ALL LIVE ACTION THIS SUMMER!""

- Adult Swim lampshading their own Network Decay.

""I want to apologize to all of you. I was SEVERELY mislead. Was told we were bagging the 'movie' to do what this network was created for.""

- Jim Cantore, April 30, 2010. Ironically, said movie was called Wind

""[MTV]'ve been celebrating their 30th anniversary. I don't know why they bother. MTV is not what MTV was. It's like the Oklahoma City Thunder celebrating their years as the Seattle Supersonics. One is not the other, so why even pretend?""

- Todd in the Shadows, "VLOG: The MTV Video Music Awards 2011"

""There was U2, and Blondie, and music still on MTV...""

- Bowling for Soup, "1985"

""They're allowed to watch half an hour of television, and only cartoons. Which means no Cartoon Network.""

- From Aqua Unit Patrol Squad 01 in the episode "Jumpy George", from a woman hiring Meatwad to babysit her children.

""Remember they used to run “What-A-Cartoon”? Now it’s “Where’s-the-Cartoons?”""

- Jerry Beck, Cartoon Brew, on an article about the UK version of The Office being premiered on Adult Swim.

""Adult Swim is kind of like 4chan. In the beginning they were both small corners of the world where American anime fans could congregate. Then a bunch of anime-haters hop onboard and complain about the content that started it all.""

- hwkerins; YouTube user, commenting on an old Adult Swim bumper.

""Maybe I'm suffering from 90's baby "Who Moved My Cheese?" syndrome, but Cartoon Network may want to focus on CARTOONS. […] Even Adult Swim sucks. With the exception of The Boondocks, the Anime-Satruday blocks, and few other shows, it's horrible. Tim and Eric aren't funny. The World Around You is not funny. Where is my adult-oriented funny?!? ""

- Jhenne Tyler B., Et Tu Cartoon Network?

"Your name is Cartoon Network,

so you expect to see,

nothing but animation when you flip CN on your TV.

But the times they are a-changing,

so don’t get left behind,

because now we’ve got real people and,

we’ve heard it blows your mind."

- Andrew W.K., during a commercial for CN Real.