Mary Sue/Quotes

"It was love at first sight

Inside Hogwarts school that night

When she walked up to the common room and he was waiting there for her.

He said, "Malfoy thinks you're hot."

"And Ron really thinks you're really hot."

"And for reasons unexplained to the readers I think you're hot too."

And she smiled as their lips met.

A scene we won't forget,

'Cause it was close to nineteen paragraphs long.

Rachel Robichaud, The Life of a Mary Sue"

"Cody answered again "I brought you here because I'm your biggest fan! I've always wanted to meet you in person, so I used my high intelligence to make a time machine to warp you in the future. Maybe we could have some butt kicking adventures or something."

Donatello pondered on what Cody said. "biggest fan...high intelligence...adventures...OH MY GOD! WE ARE IN A MARY SUE FANFIC!"

Everyone screamed."

- Fast Rewind, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Crack Fic.

"I am everything you want, I am everything you need,

I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be.

I say all the right things, at exactly the right time,

But I mean nothing to you, and I don't know why..."

- Vertical Horizon, Everything You Want

""Twelve Times A Day Man"? You can't just start makin' up terrible new characters!"

- Strong Bad

"My attempt to define the difference between a character who is a sue, and one who is merely a protagonist, in the simplest way possible:"

"A protagonist is someone the story revolves around. A mary sue is someone the world revolves around."

- Idler 2.0

"Others still carry this meaning out to extremes, and use the term to describe anyone who isn't a homeless junkie or a brooding sociopath with an alignment of chaotic neutral."

- 1d4chan.org

"Ron: Did you see that new student on the train? I think she's another one.

Harry: Yeah, I saw her.

Hermione: Another what?

(they see the new student, who has a radiant halo of light about her face)

Hermione: ...Oh."

- House Sparklypoo

"The heroine is usually an heiress, probably a peeress in her own right, with perhaps a vicious baronet, an amiable duke, and an irresistible younger son of a marquis as lovers in the foreground, a clergyman and a poet sighing for her in the middle distance, and a crowd of undefined adorers dimly indicated beyond. Her eyes and her wit are both dazzling; her nose and her morals are alike free from any tendency to irregularity; she has a superb contralto and a superb intellect; she is perfectly well-dressed and perfectly religious; she dances like a sylph, and reads the Bible in the original tongues. Or it may be that the heroine is not an heiress–that rank and wealth are the only things in which she is deficient; but she infallibly gets into high society, she has the triumph of refusing many matches and securing the best, and she wears some family jewels or other as a sort of crown of righteousness at the end. Rakish men either bite their lips in impotent confusion at her repartees, or are touched to penitence by her reproofs, which, on appropriate occasions, rise to a lofty strain of rhetoric; indeed, there is a general propensity in her to make speeches, and to rhapsodize at some length when she retires to her bedroom. In her recorded conversations she is amazingly eloquent, and in her unrecorded conversations, amazingly witty."

- George Eliot, Silly Novels by Lady Novelists

"Bob is so cool, other Mary Sue's weep at the mere mention of his name, for they know there's no way they could possibly be as cool as... well, you get the idea."

- Commentary on Bob and George

"Are you frightened, by perfection?

Is this who you are, not who you want to be?"

- Plushgun, Just Impolite

""This has to be the most selfish, male-depending, uncaring, manipulative, self-centered, pretentious, idiotic, whining little bitch-bag you will ever see in your entire life! And honestly, that wouldn't be too bad a character, that'd be very, very interesting IF IT WAS INTENTIONAL!!!""

- The Nostalgia Critic, on Bella Swan

"Perfect people are boring. Perfect people are obnoxious because they're better than us. Perfect people are, above all, too good to be true."

- How Not to Write A Novel, "Too Good To Be True"