The Professional/Funny

"Stansfield: We said noon - I've got one minute past. (A long silence) You don't like Beethoven. You don't know what you're missing: overtures like that get my... juices flowing. So powerful. But after his openings, to be honest, he does tend to get a little fucking boring. (He laughs) That's why I stopped!
 * The Professional has a darkly funny moment in which corrupt cop/PsychoForHire Norman Stansfield pauses in the middle of raiding a drug holder's apartment to discuss classical music with the owner.

(He sighs and turns to the thugs behind him.)

Stansfield: Toss the apartment.

(As they start ransacking the place, Stansfield continues.)

Stansfield: You're a Mozart fan- I love him too. I looooove Mozart! (In a very bad German accent) He vos Austrian you know? (In ordinary voice) But for this kind of work.... (He mimes playing the piano on the mantlepiece) he's a little light. So I tend to go for the heavier guys. Check out Brahms- he's good too."

"Leon: Mathilda, don't you ever do that again or I'll break your head. You got that?
 * For a regular comedy moment: Mathilda just fired six shots at random. Cut to Leon and Mathilda walking down the street, carrying their belongings.

Mathilda: Okay.

Leon: I don't work like that. It's not professional. There is rules!

Mathilda: Okay.

Leon:And stop saying "okay" all the time. Okay?

Mathilda:Okay.

Leon: Good."


 * The scene in the unedited version where Leon gives Mathilda a target practice lesson... in the middle of a drug dealer hit. You can hear the guy murmur "What the fuck is this?" in disbelief a couple of times until Leon puts him down for good.