Description Cut

A basic humor formula that goes like this:

"Alice: Bob must be [description].

Bob: [immediately says or does something contrary to that description]"

Different from Ironic Echo Cut in that it doesn't involve an echo. A subset of Hypocritical Humor and, much like it, depends on a Contrived Coincidence. Sometimes, there isn't even a cut involved.

The inverse of this is I Resemble That Remark.

Compare Gilligan Cut, Anticlimax Cut.

Anime and Manga
"Otto: Sacred Heart is also working hard!
 * Happens in Planetes when Cheng-Shun assures a friend that Hachimaki is a lot more subdued now than he was the last time they met. Guess who comes running past them playing space-ninja at that very moment?
 * In the medieval arc of Ghost Sweeper Mikami, Mikami and co. hide from Dr. Chaos' remote-controlled airplane's machine-gun fire. Except for the princess, who just stays there saying, "Dr. Chaos would not shoot at them". Cut to the doc smacking his control and screaming "Where the hell are you pointing at?!". And then the princess ducks for cover.
 * In Darker Than Black, when Mao is captured by Evening Primrose, he assures his fellow prisoner that his partner, being a Contractor, would certainly not be foolish enough to attempt to rescue him. Hei is doing just that.
 * In Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha ViVid, after Otto and Deed had just seen Micaiah slice a bus in four with an ordinary katana, they discuss how she'll likely be a difficult opponent for her majesty, Vivio. However, they also believe that Vivio could still beat her since Vivio has completed her training against slashing weapons and besides...

Sacred Heart: (cut to him playing around with Asteon)"

"Haqua: The age of barbarism has ended. We demons are rational, intelligent creatures!
 * Episode 3 of season 2 of The World God Only Knows has a visit from Elsie's fellow demon/classmate Haqua:

(cut to Elsie fangirling over fire engines)"


 * The scene's pretty much identical in the original manga.

Film
"Indy: Brody's got friends in every town and village from here to the Sudan, he speaks a dozen languages, knows every local custom, he'll blend in, disappear, you'll never see him again. With any luck, he's got the Grail already.
 * In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Dr. Jones attempts to bluff his Nazi captors:

[Cut to a crowded marketplace in the Middle East, Marcus Brody wearing bright suit and white hat, sticking out like a sore thumb]

Brody: Uh, does anyone here speak English? Or even ancient Greek?"

"Stuart: Don't worry about Snowbell, he wouldn't hurt a fly.
 * Later, when the Nazis aren't around and Jones is in a more candid mood, he says that Brody "once got lost in his own museum".
 * The movie Stuart Little 2:

Cut to Snowbell catching a fly.

Snowbell: [burp] Oh, those flies really repeat on ya."

"President Lindberg: Is that your idea of a discreet operation?
 * In The Fifth Element:

General Munro: Don't worry sir, I know my man. He'll calm things down.

[Cut to Korben Dallas as he shoots a dozen Mangalores.]"

"Melissa: Is Ace in trouble?
 * Ace Ventura Pet Detective:

Emilio: Don't worry. If there's one thing I know, it's that there's nothing Ace can't handle.

Ace Ventura: (cut to him sobbing while being held at gunpoint) Please don't kill me!"

"Justice: "Maybe he just has manners!"
 * Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back: Justice's friend asks why Jay was kissing her hand:

(Cut to Jay outside the store, screaming at a random girl.)

Jay: "YO BABY, EVER HAD YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT MAN IN AN OVERCOAT?!""

"Murtaugh: "Riggs! Let's try to keep this quiet, okay?"
 * In Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country, Kirk gets wrongfully imprisoned in a Klingon mining colony. Spock, on the Enterprise, tells the crew, "If I know the Captain, he is well into planning his escape." Cut to Kirk brawling with a huge alien while the other prisoners cheer them on.
 * Although, given the way that Kirk often falls backwards into crisis resolutions through random serendipity, this kind of thing may be exactly what Spock meant. Spock does have a wry sense of humor, and Kirk's avenue of escape does open up as a result of this fight.
 * In Jurassic Park: "We'll be alright as long as they can't open doors". Cue a raptor doing so, with some difficulty.
 * This also doubles as an utter Tempting Fate.
 * In Lethal Weapon 2. Murtaugh is trapped on his toilet with a bomb underneath set to explode if he gets up. His partner Riggs goes to call the bomb squad:

Riggs: "Hey sure! (zips his lips) Trust me."

(Cut to complete chaos outside his house with sirens wailing, lots of policemen, firemen, medics, and a crowd of onlookers.)"

"Harry: I'll just ask someone I like. Someone cool.
 * In Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Hermione is nagging Harry to find a date to take to Professor Slughorn's Christmas party.

(cut to shot of Luna "Loony" Lovegood, Hogwart's resident Cloudcuckoolander, in a sparkly silver dress, which looks like a Christmas tree, waiting for Harry in the hallway.)

Luna: (as they walk to the party) "I've never been to this part of the castle! At least while awake. I sleepwalk you see. That's why I wear shoes to bed.""

"Pat McBeth: You know, the most important thing is that we carry on [Duncan's] legacy. You know, keep his name alive!
 * Well, she might not be cool PER SE, but she IS someone he likes, and it is specifically stated in the book that he considers her cool. Then again, that might be beside the point.
 * Casino. Ace Rothstein, the Las Vegas casino manager for the Chicago mob, loses his gaming license. The head of the mob talks to a middleman about telling Ace to lay low and keep quiet about the situation. Cut to Ace Rothstein hosting his own glitzy late night talk show in the casino and challenging the gaming commissioner to a debate on it.
 * Occurs in Hot Rod. While Rod is unconscious, one of his friends comments that he must be having a profound out-of-body experience. Cut to Rod, dressed in white and in a white, cloudy place...where he witnesses a fight between a giant taco and giant grilled cheese sandwich.
 * From Scotland, PA

[Cut to construction workers tearing the "Duncan's" off the front of the restaurant. Joe and Pat McBeth look on, smiling.]"

"Tom Manning: Let me tell you - let me tell you something about the Bureau of...
 * Hellboy:

Television Host: Paranormal Research and Defense.

Tom Manning: ...of Paranormal Research and Defense: there is no such thing.

[Cut to establishing shot of BPRD headquarters.]"

"Mrs. Tweedy: They're chickens, you dolt. Apart from you, they're the most stupid creatures on this planet. They don't plot, they don't scheme, and they are not organised!
 * From Chicken Run:

[Cut to the chickens having a (not very orderly) meeting.]"

""I've never met Edward's stepmother but I've heard she's lovely."
 * A Hard Day's Night - Ringo ducks out of the theatre just before show-time to have some fun on his own. The band manager dreads his cutting loose on "wine, women and loose living" once he gets a taste of it. Cut to Ringo in a dreary little pub trying to eat a stale sandwich that's threatening to poke him in the eye.
 * In Enchanted, when asked about Edward's stepmother, Giselle says this.

(cut to Narissa entering the human world, all dark and ominous)"

"Piet Smit: You know Wikus. He never was very strong.
 * In Midnight in Paris, Inez's parents wonder what Gil, their daughter's fiancé, really does when he takes late-night walks through the streets of Paris. Since Inez has gone dancing with friends, her father comments that they know he isn't dancing. Cut to Gil dancing the Charleston in 1920s Paris.
 * Played for drama in District 9:

(cut to Wikus fighting off his captors and breaking free)"

Literature
""Oh, come on, no teacher's gonna fall for that!" said Ron, "they'd have to be really thick..." * end chapter*
 * Harry Potter: At the very end of Chapter 9, "The Writing On The Wall", Hermione comes up with the idea of using Polyjuice Potion to get information from Malfoy. However, the book with info on how to make it is in the Restricted Section of the library, and they need permission from a professor to take out the book, which would raise suspicion from any professor they ask.


 * start of next chapter* Since the disastrous episode with the pixies, Professor Lockhart had not brought live creatures to class..."

Live Action TV
"The Doctor: And now we're gonna hear him speak! He always chooses the best words, beautiful, brilliant words.
 * Every sitcom you will ever watch.
 * Doctor Who:
 * "The Shakespeare Code":

Shakespeare: Shut your big fat mouths!"

"Rory: "You know the Doctor. He's Mr. Cool." *cut to Doctor stumbling around on the street like an idiot, trying not to fall asleep*"
 * Also in "Amy's Choice":

"Karen Gillan: ...and then the Doctor bites my arm, and I'm not really sure how we're gonna do that, and hopefully he won't actually bite it.
 * And a real-life version in the Doctor Who Confidential episode for "The Time of Angels":

Cut to:

Matt Smith: Absolutely I'm gonna bite her arm!"

"Jack Harkness: All alien technology stays on the base. No one's allowed to take anything outside.
 * Torchwood got one of these, too. In "Everything Changes":

Cut to Tosh in her apartment, having taken something alien home in her purse.

Cut to Ianto, who has something alien in his cabinet in the shower.

Cut to Suzie, who also took something home in her purse."

"Dollen: They are sending their most respected team of representatives. No doubt the leader of this group will be a brilliant and savvy negotiator.
 * Stargate SG-1, "Cure":

Tegar: We must be at our best to match the challenge.

Dollen: Personally, I cannot wait to meet a man of such genius.

[SG-1 enters through the Stargate]

O'Neill: Howdy, folks!"

"Matt: Where the hell did you go?
 * Extra funny in that O'Neill is a brilliant and savvy negotiator. Just highly unorthodox.
 * In Heroes, Ando insists that Hiro will never leave his side. He turns to look at Hiro for support, only to find he's walked off. Hilariously, when it cuts to Hiro, the movie playing in the background provides a cymbal crash.
 * Similarly on Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip:

Danny: Sorry about that...

Matt: I said "He's never not been there for me", then there was a follow-spot on a basket of dinner rolls!"

"Xander: Yeah, I see a lot of hunting getting done in that scenario.
 * Used in the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Spike is introduced: Spike asks about the Slayer, "Is she tough?" And then it cuts to Buffy brushing her hair, saying "Ow. Ow."
 * In The Replacement, Xander asks rhetorically, "Who uses a cauldron any more?", followed by a cut to an imposing demon doing some evil with his cauldron.
 * Buffy comes home to find (awkwardly) that her mom has a serious boyfriend. She insists she's fine with it -- cut to her whaling on a vampire with enough violent fury to creep out Giles.
 * In season 2, Buffy and Angel decide to team up to hunt the Gorches brothers, a duo of evil vampires.

Buffy: Please. Like Angel and I are slaves to passion. Grow up! (cut to Angel and Buffy passionately making out instead of hunting vampires)"

"Buffy: Hanging out in that crypt all day, you just know he's doing something nasty.
 * In "Out of My Mind" Buffy is talking about Spike.

Cut to Spike and Harmony playing 20 Questions."

"Jeremy Clarkson: (in a boat on the Thames, leisurely cruising) This has to be the most stress free and relaxing Monday morning rush-hour commute since the dawn of time.
 * Plus literally a hundred other instances. That is, literal as in 'literal'. Joss Whedon loves this trope.
 * Also used in the Angel episode "Waiting in the Wings". When Cordelia and Fred are shopping for dresses to go to the ballet, Cordelia makes a sarcastic comment to the effect of, "Oh, right. Angel's gonna spend the whole day worrying about his outfit." Cut to Angel worrying about his tux, which baby Connor had just spit upon.
 * Another Angel example, from the episode "I Will Remember You": After Angel temporarily becomes human, Doyle mentions that Angel is now immune to the "perfect happiness" curse (implying he and Buffy can now have sex without repercussions) and says sarcastically that they're eating tea and crackers. Cut to Buffy and Angel enjoying some tea and crackers.
 * Angel is explaining to Connor how, despite having supernatural entities on the payroll, Wolfram & Hart is still a boring lawfirm. Cue Spike getting punched through the doors, swearing bloody murder, and walking back in.
 * Done very amusingly in the Top Gear race across London during the middle of rush hour. Not quite the same, as it's not referring to a specific person, but entertaining anyway

Cut to the helmet camera of...

Richard Hammond: (on a pedal bike, dodging traffic, lots of noise) Oh no, not another set of sodding lights... Ah, bloody hell!"

""Fraggles are graceful creatures--"
 * He spends a lot of this segment being censored. That was one of the few cases he was actually polite enough to be pre-watershed. (Top Gear generally has an 8pm-9pm slot in the UK - on it's original broadcasts anyway.)
 * Interestingly, although perhaps not relevantly here,
 * On another episode, the Parkour one, after driving through Liverpool (and getting a bit lost, needing to ask for directions, getting stuck behind lights), he arrives at the Liver Building, seemingly beating his opponents in a race, commenting on there being "No sign of baggy shorts or camo pants"; cue to his opponents, Parkour runners, on top of the Liver Building, one just staring out over the city, the other doing a railing handstand.
 * Fraggle Rock:

a Fraggle immediately falls into shot"

"Zoë: First rule of battle, little one, don't ever let them know where you are.
 * In Firefly episode The Message, Zoë explains how things work on the battlefield to a new recruit:

Cue Mal coming in, guns blazing and screaming.

Mal: I'm right here! I'm right here! You want some of me? Take it! Come on!

Zoë: 'Course, there are other schools of thought."

"Zoe: Don't see how it's any of your business, is all. We're very private people.
 * In another episode, the crew are being interrogated separately. When asked why she is deflecting questions about her marriage to Wash, Zoe is stone-faced.

(cut to...) Wash: Her legs. I'll definitely have to say it was her legs. You can write that down!"

"Psychiatrist: If there is anyone in that hellhole who can actually make you listen, then keep them close, because that person is a genius.
 * On The Office (USA), Michael is called to speak to the Dunder-Miffline shareholders' meeting in New York. Because it's Michael, he blows it bigtime and doesn't realize it. The final shot of the episode is Michael and the other employees celebrating their success in the back of a chartered limo. The camera pans to one of New York's public stock tickers, and Dunder-Mifflin's stock is cratering.
 * Actually, the company is already going broke due to massive mismanagement. Michael thinks that he is going to get fired and his branch closed. The celebration happens because they find out that they are actually the most profitable branch and their jobs are safe (Also because they managed to get the limo driver to take them back to Scranton before he could get the news that the CEO had revoked their permission to use the limo).
 * In "PDA", Holly has a talking head in which she describes Michael as basically exuding sex, all the while a montage plays of Michael being anything but sexy, culminating in a shot of him slouched in a chair with his face and bits of his suit smeared with Cheese Puff dust.
 * In an episode of Scrubs, Dr Cox's long-suffering psychiatrist is amazed that he has actually made a positive decision that could benefit his career, on JD's advice.

(Cut to JD in the elevator) JD: Everybody was kung-fu fighting, hah!"

"Elliot: Okay, we have to tell them.
 * In the Musical Episode:

Carla: They're so close, maybe they'll help each other through it.

Elliot: Oh come on, Carla. They're guys. They're not going to get all touchy-feely.

(cue the overwrought love song "Guy Love")"

"Carla: (To Turk) You're such a guy. You can't even begin to understand anything this deep on any kind of real emotional level.
 * Another example on the same theme as above:

J.D.: (Comes up to Turk and Carla) Hey, Turk. I'm really sorry about the whole poster thing. It was racially insensitive of me. I should've been more aware of your feelings before I went ahead and spoke for you.

Turk: It's ok. Your intentions were good, and there's never been an issue of race between us. Since the day I met you, you've been nothing but a friend to me.

J.D.: I love you, man. (He leaves)

Turk: (To Carla) We've got some things to work out, but we'll get there ... we'll get there."

"Castle: [Discussing a suspect's photo]: She's got cruel eyes. I bet she enjoyed watching Wilder suffer.
 * Castle features a few of these:

[Cut to the suspect, crying like a baby and babbling hysterically]"

"Thea: She may appear sweet, but who knows what destructive powers she may possess?
 * In the Xena: Warrior Princess episode "The Titans":

[Cut to Gabrielle fruitlessly trying to break a nut with her fist]"

"Oz : [voiceover shot of him not enjoying himself] Only a simpleton could possibly get any pleasure out of this futile activity.
 * On Oz and James's Big Wine Adventure, California series, Oz and James ride shotgun for a V8 muscle car drag race between "bone-idle vintners" who have nothing to do when not harvesting except fish and race cars.

[cut to James in the other car with a huge grin on his face and laughing with glee]"

"Brent: I can't just turn over my father. There's a bond between father and son that's strong and sacred.
 * Corner Gas, "Tax Man":

[Oscar storms in]

Oscar: [to Brent] Hey! Idiot! You left the lid on the dumpster up last night! Crows have scattered garbage all over the place out there and I'll be damned if I'm gonna clean it. It'll be you out there on your hands and knees scrapin' up crow crap!

Brent: I'll tell you whatever you need to know."

"Mrs. Jensen: With him, the customer was always number one. Oscar always treated people with great respect.
 * "Cousin Carl":

Oscar: [to Brent] Hey jackass, stop talking to this old wingnut and pump my gas!"

"Joe & Bill (wandering around in the desert): The fatties [Kevin & Drew] must have gotten lost.
 * Note that both of these examples are done without the Cut.
 * In The Rockford Files episode "Dirty Money Black Light", Angel Martin is in jail due to being caught with some of the titular dirty money. Jim assures Beth that Angel won't say anything without a lawyer present. Cut to Angel attempting to pin various crimes on Jim and his dad.
 * The editors for The Amazing Race especially love this. Their favorite tends to be showing a team who thinks they're way ahead gloating about their position, only to cut to another team that's currently beating them.
 * Season 1, Episode 5:

(cut to Kevin & Drew dancing it up at the Pit Stop oasis)"

"Tyler (at the Fast Forward): No team is going to finish a Detour and a Roadblock ahead of us.
 * Season 10, Episode 8:

Rob: We're going to be so far ahead.

(cut to Dustin finishing the Roadblock, her and Kandice about to take first place on that leg)"

"Clemency McGill: That was a right fine movie. Do you like spy movies, Mr. Solo? Napoleon?
 * The Man from U.N.C.L.E., "The Bat Cave Affair":

Napoleon Solo: I'll tell you, they're alright if you like light entertainment. I just think they're... pretty far-fetched.

[cut to Illya Kuryakin tied up in a cage, being attacked by vampire bats]"

"Trick: If Aife has Bo in her grasp, there's no telling what hell she's putting her through.
 * The Lost Girl episode "Bloodlines", after Trick, Kenzi, and Dyson determine that Bo's been kidnapped by Aife.

[cut to Bo waking up in an opulent bedroom with three buff shirtless guys at her beck and call]"

"Host: Time for a little precision engineering...
 * Used as a running gag in Scrapheap Challenge:

[cut to a contestant smashing the crap out of something with a very large hammer]"

"Bran Stark: Dragons are all dead. Been dead for centuries.
 * The first episode of the second season of Game of Thrones features a entirely nonhumorous Description Cut:

[cut to a very not-dead baby dragon]"

"BJ: They must be going through hell out there!
 * In MASH, after being informed that Hawkeye and Margaret are stuck behind enemy lines in the midst of heavy shelling, BJ, Radar, and Potter are extremely distressed about what's happening to them.

[cut to Hawkeye and Margaret passionately making out in a hut while bombs rumble in the distance]'"

Newspaper Comics
"Man: Does she know I exist? I love her, but I don't know if she knows I exist! I really hope she knows I exist...
 * One The Far Side cartoon:

Woman (elsewhere): You know, I really like vanilla.

Caption: Same planet, different worlds."


 * One Garfield strip shows Jon speaking to the readers about the good qualities of cats, which Garfield is acting direct opposite of the description in the background.
 * During a Calvin and Hobbes story arc in which the family returns from a trip to discover that their house was robbed, Dad says this must be "really scary for a little kid like Calvin." In the next panel, Calvin is grinning excitedly and saying to Hobbes, "Gosh I can't wait to tell everyone at school how our house got robbed!"

Theatre
"Dumbledore: There's no way that Severus Snape is, was, or ever shall be a servant of Voldemort.
 * A Very Potter Musical is fond of these when it comes to Snape.

[Cut to:]

Snape: All hail Voldemort!"


 * How do you cut in the theatre? I must know!
 * Usually by having two different sets side by side on the same stage.
 * And in the sequel, just as Remus assures Harry that "no one at Hogwarts hates [him]," Snape suddenly appears (having 'sneaked' into the scene with his cloak over his face) with a shout of "What the devil is going on here?!"

Web Comics
"Nale: The knowledge that the fate of the entire multiverse hinges on their every action must be a terrible burden, haunting them constantly.
 * Order of the Stick does this often. Understandable, given that the surprises that come with warfare lead to a lot of splitting up and improv, and the characters' thought patterns vary so widely that the plan is going to go off the rails sooner or later.
 * One of the earliest examples features three in a row as Roy speculates about the upcoming battle and the fate of a kidnapped ally.
 * There's another triple example at the end of the first major Story Arc, as Elan lists the group's (as far as they know at the time) victories.
 * And just for fun, there's this one, where the evil-opposites team has just learned about the protagonists' new quest.

[Cut to...]

Durkon: Who's up fer Parcheessi?"

"Cop: That Evvi-bot is a miracle of modern science, Griz. Holographic imaging, multi-band spectroscopy, five nines of non-destructive observation, and at the end of five minutes it can hand you a verdict.
 * This Better Days strip.
 * The same variation in Misfile here.
 * This Darths and Droids strip. The author even mentions this page in The Rant.
 * Subverted with a Lampshade in this Irregular Webcomic strip; the author references this page in the footnote which says: Herein subverted.
 * I swear the creator of the strip is trying to make "Goading TV Tropes into adding a self-referential example" a trope.
 * If he does it enough times, it will have to be an IWC Theme.
 * And, of course, both Darths and Droids and IWC are both run by the same guy, so they are building the number of time this has been done.
 * Used for a Crowning Moment of Funny throw-away gag in Schlock Mercenary:

Evvi-bot: Attempted suicide! ...Oh, wait... The victim is dead. Lemme think about this one."

"Megan (?) : "He has his own life to live, and I'm sure the last thing he wants to do is indulge a fan by playing Mal for him."
 * Of course, a bit of a subversion in that.
 * Inverted, somewhat adorably, here.
 * Xkcd: The female character tries to talk the male one out of challenging Nathan Fillion to an electric skateboard race because he's Captain Reynolds:

Nathan Fillion: [standing in front of a mirror wearing Mal's coat]: "Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am. *ahem* Name's Captain Reynolds, ma'am.""

"Critic: I must say, this place is very charming!
 * Subverted with a healthy helping of Lampshade Hanging in DMFA. Alexsi is being reassured that Dan can do a good job of showing off the Lost Lake Inn in her absence. Cut to Dan (disguised as Alexsi)...doing a good job of showing off the Lost Lake Inn in Alexsi's absence.

Dan (as Alexsi): What did you expect? Comedic irony?"

"Dan: I didn't think about a lot of things, unfortunately. Which means I will have to be extra cautious for the next time. I doubt I will catch [Regina] off guard again.
 * Played straight, though, later on.

Regina (thinking): Yeek. These peeps expired like twelve years ago. Uncle Aliph really needs to keep better tabs on his food reserves..."


 * Subverted in a different fashion in Dominic Deegan. Suyan imagines that Donovan is being welcomed by whatever orcs found him with open arms. Cut to just outside the cave where Donovan is being held, where Donovan is screaming for mercy. Then cut to inside the cave, where a completely unharmed Donovan is faking it while his interrogator is telling him to pretend to scream for mercy.
 * Erfworld: Here, Parson goads Ansom into striking before he's ready by claiming that his (imbecilic) overlord Stanley is superior to Ansom's royal status (a sensitive issue with Ansom) due to Stanley's possession of a divine artifact. Cut to Stanley chocking a subordinate in frustration.
 * Gigantic example of this trope appears in The Wotch, here.
 * This episode of Everyday Heroes.
 * Freefall: Florence looks at the Asimov.
 * Done again much later, with Florence concluding that she has to assume very dedicated and experienced programmers are helping with ...while the final touches on automating its release are being done by a pissed-off intern, who is fired immediately after finishing. Perhaps fortunately, Mr Kornada is not a man who knows how to get the best from his workers.
 * This El Goonish Shive: Squirrel genius works in mysterious ways (particularly while mopping)
 * And again here. Grace seems to attract these.
 * This strip of Snowflakes.
 * This is one of the more common forms of humor in Wapsi Square. This strip is a good example.
 * In Tales of the Questor, Quentyn uses an "arcane racconan art" to gather intelligence on the dragon.
 * For a webcomic built entirely around this trope, see Basic Instructions.

Web Original
""Oh my God, I will never get tired of this!" [cut to later] "Oh my God, I am so tired of this!"
 * Done four times in The Nostalgia Critic's review of the Bebe's Kids video game:

"Thank God, I don't think I could've taken much more of this." [cut to later] "OH MY GOD, I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS!"

"OK, all right, I got one in the corner. This oughta make things go faster." [cut to later] "C'MON! DIE!! DIE, GODDAMMIT, DIE!!"

"Now I have to get this asshole. I hope he goes down a lot faster than the other guy." [cut to later] "OH, SWEET BUTTERY JESUS!! This is like a test in psychological torture!!""

"The Cinema Snob: "Look, I'll have a talk with the Critic, see if any of this is true."
 * Used in episode four of Kickassia:

Paw: "What if he suspects us going behind his back?"

The Cinema Snob: "He won't suspect us. I'll put it very delicately."

[Cut to.]

The Cinema Snob: "Everybody thinks you're nuts.""

"Simmons:"Any minute the blues are going to come over that hill yelling, Charge!!!"
 * In Awkward, Lester verbally sets the scene for his first encounter with dream girl Steph by explaining he was reading "a very intellectual book". Cut to him reading The Legend of Zelda manga in the computer lab.
 * Used in Red vs. Blue

Church:"RETREAT!!!""

"Saul: Whatever, Michael would have done the same thing.
 * We're Alive: From Chapter 3:

Angel: Well he's not here now. He's probably back at the Tower surrounded by ladies.

(Cut to Michael and the other Tower residents besieged by zombies)

Michael: Shoot that bitch in the face!"


 * Todd in the Shadows, "10 best hit songs of 2011": "What kind of asshole makes a video that gives people seizures?" "Yo Taylor..."

Video Games
"Arbiter: Like the rest of your race, weak and undisciplined. * throws Forge headfirst into a wall*
 * Halo Wars has the Arbiter (no, not that Arbiter) mopping the floor with resident Sergeant Rock John Forge.

Cut to Spartan Red Team kicking Elite Honor Guard ass in a way reminiscent of 300"


 * Granted, the Spartans are Super Soldiers, but they're still human... sort of.

Western Animation
"Toph's Mother: (crying) Poor Toph -- she must be so scared...
 * Avatar: The Last Airbender, after Aang and Toph are kidnapped by Xin Fu:

[Cut to] Toph: You think you're so tough?! Why don't you come up here so I can smack that grin off your face?!"

"Zuko: He is clearly a master of evasive maneuvering.
 * Also this, from the fourth episode when Zuko sees the erratic path the Gaang is taking to the North Pole:

[Cut to] Sokka: You have no idea where you're going, do you?"

"Marge: (explaining to her sisters): He's a complicated man.
 * In fact, this appears to be the main source of humour in the show.
 * Invoked intentionally by Homer Simpson from The Simpsons:

Homer: (right after sticking his head out of a window and smashing his head with a plate): Wrong!"

"Homer: It's times like these I wish I were a religious man.
 * In a later episode where Bart runs away from home, Marge is panicking and says "He must be feeling so helpless and scared!" Cut to Bart driving a tank through the town, smashing everything in his path.
 * Which he did while gleefully singing the famous lyrics of "Don't Stop" by Fleet Mac in time to crushing a row of cars.
 * There is also this scene in "Bart's Comet":

Reverend Lovejoy: It's all over, people! We don't have a prayer!"

"Cartman: Kyle, when have I ever ripped on you for being a Jew?"
 * South Park, "Make Love, Not Warcraft" has a scene where someone kills the boys' online characters in about ten seconds. Stan surmises that "Whoever he is, he must be one tough badass." Cut to an overweight nerd who obviously spends too much time at his computer
 * "Casa Bonita"

"Lawyer: In your experience with other mice, would you say that they are intelligent?
 * After the montage, he adds, "Okay, except maybe for that one time."
 * Pinky and The Brain has Brain trying to prove he's really a mouse (with the excuse that he was turned into one in a freak lab experiment).

Cut to Pinky, trying and utterly failing to control Brain's human suit, and making a mess in the process"

"Just I needed, another beautiful woman in my life. I did everything I could to get rid of her [cuts to the caveman getting her a chair, brushing his teeth and getting his hair done]"
 * Raw Toonage had Cro-Magnum PI (a caveman Private Detective):

"Aqualad: "We're tired of being treated like second-class superheroes!"
 * Visionaries had Ectar assuring the local residential committee that the soldiers of New Valoric are a well disciplined and non-rowdy bunch. Cue Witterquick crashing into the room and landing onto the meeting table.
 * Batman the Brave And The Bold has this during an argument about how well heroes treat their sidekicks.

Green Arrow: "I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. I've always treated Speedy well!"

Flash Back to Green Arrow and Speedy atop a pool filled with crocodiles.

Green Arrow: "Quick, retrieve my bow from that crocodile pit!""

"Ikura: Maguro, how'd you ever get that museum director to put up Tako's paintings?
 * From the Sushi Pack episode "But is it Art?":

Maguro: We had a meeting of the minds.

Cut to Maguro in the director's office, brainwashing him

Maguro: You will hang Tako's paintings. You will hang Tako's paintings.

Director: I will hang Tako's paintings."

"Pamela Isley: "Shouldn't we wait for your friend?"
 * In Cinderella, the Grand Duke sarcastically describes the king's hopes for the ball ("Suddenly he stops! He looks up! Alone, there she stands!") plays out perfectly as the Prince first sees Cinderella.
 * Used multiple times in succession in the Batman the Animated Series episode "Pretty Poison".

Harvey Dent: "Bruce? Nah, he's always late. He probably got hung up on business."

[Batman hanging onto a helicopter full of escaped convicts.]

Pamela: "I hear he's rich."

Harvey: "Yeah, Bruce runs around in a high-class crowd."

[Batman chasing a convict.]

Harvey: "But he still manages to get his kicks."

[Batman kicking the criminal.]

Harvey: "There's nothing we don't know about each other."

[Batman threatening the crook.]"

"Horace: I've got the perfect plan.
 * In The Problem Solverz episode "Zoo Cops":

Lidget: I bet your plan isn't a master plan.

Horace: Oh, it is. It uses one of the most, cunning, stealthy Problem Solverz you'll ever meet.

(Cut to Alfe breaking items and a shelf loudly crashing to the floor)

Alfe: Uhhh... this thing just, like, broke."

"Lois: Your mother has her ways. She has her ways.
 * On Family Guy, Meg asks her mom how she got blueprints for the D'Amico house.

(Flashback to office visit) Can I have the blueprints to the D'Amico house?

Clerk: (handing them to her) Sure. Here you go."

"Jimmy:That horse is probably thrashing him!
 * On Jimmy Two-Shoes:

(Cut to Beezy and the horse playing cards.)"

"Megatron: No Autobot would be foolish enough to fire on their greatest weapon.
 * Happens a couple of times on Transformers Animated. For example:

Cut to Sentinel Prime in the Council chamber, bashing his desk with a fist.

Sentinel Prime: I say we fire on Omega Supreme!"