Darkwing Duck (animation)/Funny



"Darkwing: *appears in a cloud of red smoke* I AM THE TERROR THAT FLAPS IN THE NIGHT... I AM... obviously all out of my trademark blue smoke..."
 * At least half of his intro lines.

"Television Reporter: Newsflash: Darkwing Duck is loose in St. Canard! Mighty Negaduck demands that Darkwing Duck be arrested on sight.
 * This exchange from one of the NegaDuck episodes.

NegaDuck: No, I said "shot"! Darkwing Duck should be shot on sight! ...Or skinned. Yeah! Skin him alive! ...No, no, even better, burn him to fiery ash! ...And then arrest him."

"Darkwing: If it weren't for that stupid ski accident, I wouldn't be sitting in this thing.
 * The exposition dialogue explaining how Darkwing ended up in a wheelchair:

Launchpad: Well, I told you things got rough at those ski shop sales. You're lucky only your legs were broken."

"Darkwing: What does that mean?
 * "Dances With Bigfoot": Darkwing has been kidnapped by a primitive tribe to be fed to their volcano god. Gosalyn uses a comic book to translate the tribe's language and says they'll release him if he passes their tests -- a fight with their champion and a dance contest. After Gosalyn helps him win both, the tribe chief says something to them.

Gosalyn: It means, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you're free to go."

(fade to them tied up and standing at spear point on the volcano's edge)

Honker: Or, "You have passed the tests, therefore, you are worthy of being thrown into the volcano."

Darkwing: Remind me to thank you properly for helping daddy pass those tests, dear."

""See...? Works every time...""
 * In "Night of the Living Spud", Darkwing demonstrates the "proper" way to get a semi to stop and give you a lift: stepping boldly out into the road, extending your arm and declaring "HALT!" The truck promptly runs him down and grinds to a stop.

"Darkwing (posing as a delivery man): Flowers for Negaduck!
 * "It's not potato backwards -- it's potato backwards!"
 * "Red potatoes ya can reason with-but Russets-they's just plain mean!"
 * "Just Us Justice Ducks" has the best Humiliation Conga ever. As well as...

Negaduck: I hate flowers.

Darkwing: Er, did I say flowers? I meant skulls. Skulls for Negaduck!

Negaduck: -salivates- I'll be right there."

"Darkwing: Oh, did I say skulls? I meant ANVILS! (WHACK!)"
 * Don't forget the punchline to that scene.

"Stegmutt: Oh, Darkwing, are you busy?
 * "Aww, I dented my anvil!"
 * Now available on Youtube.
 * "Now it's time to say good-bye to all our company!" Negaduck quoting the Mickey Mouse Club. Sheer cool.
 * Earlier in the same episode (pictured above):

Darkwing: Busy? No, no, I'm just with the most dangerous villains, Bushroot and Liquidator, and we're playing let's pretend!

Liquidator: Yeah! Let's pretend! Let's pretend he's on fire!

Bushroot: Yeah! Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!

Darkwing: Nice try, Greensleeves, but it won't work-

Stegmutt: (Grabs Darkwing and starts smacking him against the ground) Put out the Darkwing! Put out the Darkwing!

Liquidator: 4 out of 5 dentists say that it's time for us to get out of here!"

"Darkwing: This is the second most-painful moment of my life.
 * Then, Bushroot's giant plant falls on him.

Stegmutt: What was the first most-painful?

Darkwing: "Put out the Darkwing, put out the Darkwing!""

"Stegmutt: (has Bushroot by the neck) I've never fought a super villain before. What do I do?
 * In the final battle:

Darkwing: It's easy, Stegmutt! Let's pretend Mr. Bushroot is on fire!

Bushroot: Uh-oh!

Stegmutt: Yay! Put out the Bushroot! Put our the Bushroot!"

"Morgana: If you're not ashamed of me, then why don't you take me anywhere! Why have I never met any of your friends!
 * "AAAHHHH!! DO NOT ADD WATER!!"
 * "It will take more than two treacherous transgressors to taint the track record of... DARKWIIIIING... Yak."
 * "Oops. Missed."
 * "Malice's Restaurant":

Darkwing: With my busy crime-busting schedule, I don't have time to make friends!

Launchpad: Gee DW, what about Herb and Binkie?

Darkwing: You exist to torment me, don'tcha?"

"Venerable One: -thwack- Freeloader."
 * Can't forget "The Secret Origins of Darkwing Duck."

"Darkwing: ...She's...gone...

Launchpad: Ya sure?

Darkwing: Mmmm, yeah."

"Avenger: (in those "from beyond the grave" type thought bubbles) -gasp- Atta boy...Darkwing...ugh I'm dead."

"Quackerjack: I'm ruined! Ruined! Ruined!!!
 * Shhhhh, it's a flyyyyy...
 * From Jail Bird: Negaduck has absorbed all the powers of the Fearsome Five.

Mega Negaduck: What are you whining about? You never had any powers to begin with!

Quackerjack: YOU STOLE MY WACKINESS!

Negaduck: I did not- HOO-HOO HOO HOO! Okay, so I did!"

"Gosalyn: It's the Muddlefoots!
 * "I claim this India in the name of Spain!"
 * "That's one small step for man, one... (Notices Megavolt crushed under the landing craft) ...really bad day for that guy!"
 * When Drake attempts to get some sleep in the afternoon episode, Gosalyn prepares to drive a golf ball off of his bill whilst he rests. He then reveals he is still awake and utters this legendary line: "Have I ever told you the story of the little girl, the golf club and the firing squad?"
 * In Dry Hard, after the Liquidator turns all of St. Canard's tap water into hard water, Darkwing and Launchpad end up landing in the still-normal bay, prompting Darkwing to taunt with this: "We can drink the baa-ay! Nya, nya!"
 * Also, throughout the episode, Bud Flood was followed around by crooning women singing ad jingles whilst wearing whatever costume fit for the situation. They even followed him around when he turned into the Liquidator and, as he trapped Darkwing in boiling water, they strutted around singing in lobster costumes.
 * Derek Blunt has just drawn a circle around the island of Phineas Sharp. D.W. is so shocked he can only say "You drew on my map" in a voice so deadpan and disbelieving that I have to laugh every time.
 * The result of Quackerjack and Darkwing teaming up at the end of The Haunting of Mr. Banana Brain. It needs to be seen to be believed.
 * "At last, I shall have my revenge on those who tormented me! Those who MADE ME WHO I AM! Wait, wha... What am I, anyway? A dentist? No... A lumberjack? No... King of the Jungle?"
 * "I may have been defeated, but I know Darkwing's secret identity! He's... Elmo Sputterspark! No, wait, that's not right. Hamstring? No, that's the big guy..."
 * All of Galvanized PosiDuck's lines. Don't forget to floss!
 * Hey now, Negaduck I, while a bit terrifying galvanized, was pretty funny when he was normal.

Negaduck I: Oh great. Let me get my shotgun..."

"Megavolt: We need negative polarity!
 * He was still funny even when galvanized. "NEVER EAT AT A PLACE CALLED MOM'S!"
 * Megavolt and Darkwing's interactions in The Frequency Fiends are hilarious, especially this gem:

Darkwing: A-da-da-da-da-da! This is some kind of trick! Even I know negative is bad! Positive is good!

Megavolt: Negative.

Darkwing: Positive.

Megavolt: Negative!

Darkwing: Positive!

Megavolt: NEGATIVE! Negative, negative, negative!

Darkwing: Positive, positive positive pos pos pos pos pos-

Gosalyn: Hold it! Don't you think you're being a little bit immature?!

Darkwing: You're right... (Grabs a chair and rope, and ties up Megavolt) Positive.

Megavolt (Practically in tears): I think what hurts the most is that you call yourself a superhero!"

"Darkwing: Aaaw, what's the matter, Negsy, old pal? Is there anything else I can do for you!?
 * Pretty much all of My Valentine Ghoul. It has got to be one of the funniest episodes. It's already hilarious to see Negaduck pretend to be reformed and keep spoiling Darkwing and Morgana's date like a bratty brother trying to get D.W. in trouble, but it gets HYSTERICAL once D.W. is affected by a love potion Gosalyn makes and believes Negaduck is his best friend.

Negaduck: Yeah! Go jump off a cliff!

Darkwing: Yo. Anything for you, Negmeister!

Darkwing runs out of the house to a large cliff and jumps off screaming 'GERONIMOOOO!'

Negaduck: And to think; all this time, all I had to do was ask."


 * And it all gets even funnier near the end when Morgana uses the love potion on Negaduck to make him fall for her and gives him a jawbreaker... literally. She punches him so hard in the beak he flies into his own pile of stolen diamonds, is covered in chocolate and packed in his own box of valentine sweets. Truly a Crowning Moment of Awesome for Morgana.
 * "WHO?! WHAT?! WHEN?! WHERE?! SOMETIMES WHY?!"
 * When Taurus Bulba, now a super-cyborg, grabs Darkwing with some nasty intentions, the hero kisses him, causing the villain to let him go and frantically rub his lips in disgust. May also double as Awesome.

From the new comic:
"Launchpad: D.W., Liquidator’s used the cold snap to make beings of pure ice!

Darkwing: Not a problem.

Launchpad: Bullets can’t stop ‘em! The ice just grows back.

Darkwing: Only a small matter.

Launchpad: Not to mention, YOUR LEFT ARM HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A SNAKE!

Darkwing: Barely worth noting."

"Launchpad: D.W., Quackerjack has turned every G.I. Melvin toy into his personal army!
 * And later...

Darkwing: A blip on the radar.

Launchpad: Yeah, I guess it's not our biggest problem. Now your left arm's been turned into ME!

Darkwing: This, I'm willing to admit, is an inconvenience."

"Launchpad: *Phew* I'm glad ya think so! There uh, aren't really a lot of positions open for sidekicks/pilots. (The other day...) *Whilst holding the in his palm* I can pilot this!
 * In issue 3 when


 * No. No, you cannot."

"Steelbeak That's right. There are the eggmen...
 * Guard dogs!
 * Guard flamingos!
 * Guard dogs riding guard flamingos!!
 * "Aw, he wants a game of hide-and-seek! Well, two can play at that... um... game. Of hide-and-seek. Because that's how it's played."
 * The first collection includes this nugget of gold in a letter from series creator Tad Stones, on the creation of Darkwing Duck:
 * In the shadows of his hidden lair, Drake Mallard ponders his role in bringing justice to the city of St. Canard, "Criminals are a superstitious, cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts! I must be a creature of the night..." As if in answer, a duck flies in the open window. Mallard vaults to his feet. "It's an omen! I shall become a DUCK!" He pauses a moment and ponders further, "Wait, I AM a duck. How is this going to work?"
 * F.O.W.L's gadgets in issue 10.
 * Also from issue 10:

Steelbeak"