Death Note the Abridged Series (kpts4tv)/Funny

"Ryuk: But if you give up the notebook you'll forget all about me.
 * The opening theme song is "I Can't Decide" by the Scissor Sisters.
 * The parody music video "Not Gay (They Just Wrote Me In That Way)"
 * The opening of episode 9 has Light gazing mournfully out the window while Ryuk is lounging in his bed. The abridger dubbed over Ryuk asking: "Do you want to talk about it?" Never be able to look at that scene the same way again.
 * And at the end of the episode Ryuk asks Light if he wants to go again.
 * Light would really like some Brain Bleach:

Light: GOOD!"

"Higuchi: What's the point of having minions if they don't do your work for you! I should be watching the Home Shopping Network in my underware but NO, I have to go out and commit a murder!"
 * L agrees to go on a date with Light in order to investigate Sayu.
 * Higuchi is irritated when the other members of Yotsuba are less than helpful:

"Light: I've won! muwahahaha! Oh by the way L that outfit looks amazing on you!"
 * When Light relinquishes his Kira memories he abruptly goes back in the closet and when he regains his memories...

"Light: First I gotta get my stupid watch open. Aw, there we go...
 * When Light is stabbing himself with a pin so he can  Hilarity Ensues:

L: What's that Light?

Light: Oh I'm just excited we caught Kira is all. Hey look, they're bringing him in right now... Ow!

L: Are you okay?

Light: Yeah I'm fin-OW! I'm okay OW! DAMMIT!

L: Light, do you need me to come over there?

Light: No, no. I'm okay. I'm just so happy that it hurts. Kinda like a little prick."

"Light: Well, we've been outside talking for awhile and we've decided to make it official. I LOVE L! AND HE LOVES ME! I'm going to dump Misa so I can be with L!
 * Light literally scares the crap out of Shinigami.
 * After Light and L talk and L gives Light a foot rub...

Everyone: Gasp

L: No, I think you've misinterpreted the situation..."

"L: Light is Kira and Misa is the Second--
 * When L is :

Souichiro: The second? The Second what? ...Oh my God, she's the Second Coming!"

"Light: (Glowing Eyes of Doom) I loved you L and you smashed my heart into a million pieces. I will never love again.
 * Don't Stop Me Now...
 * Light's Freak-Out at :

Ryuk: Light, uh... you're scaring me.

Light: Oh Ryuk, I haven't even begun to scare you yet!"

"Light: L, why?! Why did you leave me?! Why did you leave me alone with these IDIOTS! *sobbing* And... yeah, I'm over it now."
 * Light's Villainous Breakdown in the opening credits of Season 2, Episode 7:

"Mello: No Roger, I'm never going to work with him, ever! The first thing he did when he was born was he flipped me off!
 * The cast singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
 * Mr. Yagami has no son. He has two daughters.
 * Mello's voice. Just... his voice... He would fit right into a Monty Python routine.
 * When Mello and Near are introduced:

Near: Mine's bigger."

"Mello: I asked you to bring me Sayu Yagami. A 17 year old girl. Does this look like a 17 year old girl to you?
 * When Mello's mafia minions kidnap an old grey-haired guy...

Minion 1: No...

Minion 2: Yes."

"Mello: Yagami-san Me has your daughter. Me love her long time. That was racist of me, wasn't it? Sorry."
 * When Mello kidnaps Sayu and tries to "speak Japanese":

"Light: Now I need a place to stay.
 * Misa refuses to acknowledge that Light is gay.

Misa: You want to move in with me? Yay!

Ryuk: Ha!

Light: I... *Sighs* this is the worst day ever!"

"Light: I have a question-why is it that whenever we want to work on the Kira investigation we always meet at my apartment?
 * Light doesn't get why the taskforce always wants to hang out at his apartment:

Mr. Yagami: Oh, you'll see in just a second, Light.

Light: I just don't understand what could be so important...

Misa (in stripper-ware): Okay guys it looks like you have everything you need so I'm gonna go to bed now! Alone! Naked! And with the door unlocked! Bye!

Ryuk: I'll be right there my little apple pie.

Light: Yeah, I still don't see what the big deal is."

"Mr. Yagami: How about this? I'll give you the death note and you can take my other daughter for free!
 * The president has his people pick up Near by offering him candy and abducting him.
 * When Mello kidnaps Sayu, Mr. Yagami begs Mello to take his gay son as well. Of course, Mr. Yagami knows Light is listening in...

Light: ... (*Death Glare*)

Mello: No, no! I don't want that! I just want the death note!

Mr. Yagami: What if I paid you?

Mello: I! do! not! want! Your! kids! Just the Death Note!"

"Light: It's been five years and no sightings of 's ghost. I think I'm in the clear.
 * You just had to say it, didn't you, Light?



Light: Dammit!"

"Light: As for Misa's Death Note, I'll keep it in the only place I know it will be safe—my pants!
 * Sidoh doesn't want to leave the Shinigami realm because they locked him out the last time.
 * The subversion of the Enemy Mine situation where Kira calls up Da Chief: "Hey Dad, it's Light..."
 * Light's death note hiding place:

Misa: Oh, it'll be safe there! Light doesn't even let me in his pants!

Ryuk: You're not missing anything."

"Souichiro: Light, I am your father.
 * Da Chief is trying to be dramatic:

Light: (*sighs*) I know that dad."

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