The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings/Funny

"Vernon Roche: Iorveth - a regular son of a whore!"
 * While defending Vergen, go ahead and cast the Aard sign on one of the attackers near the wall's edge.
 * The aftermath of the drinking in the "Hungover" quest.
 * From the DLC, there's a quest at Vergen called "A Sackful of Fluff", where a man named Elthon contracts Geralt to collect Harpy Feathers for a client. Then you see just what "his client" wanted the feathers for. The deadpan conversation afterward is just icing on the cake.
 * In Chapter 2 of Roche's path, if you opt to get information out of the Visionary by "converting" to his religion. To do so, you have to imbibe a potion of his own make in front of a shrine and have a special vision.
 * Once Roche and Iorveth first meet in the forests on Flotsam, Iorveth greets Roche with a long-winded, scornful speech in which he lists several of Roche's accomplishments, titles and says how he has spent the past few years setting up traps and devising plans as he eagerly awaited for the day when Roche would wander into his forest. Unimpressed, Roche bluntly responds by saying:

"Spark: Uh, so what does a witcher do, anyway?
 * One in the beginning of chapter 2 (Ivoreth's path) and related to the main plot,
 * Another one in Vergen, when Geralt talked to a vendor in the market place:

Geralt: We solve problems.

Spark: Oh, I have a problem with my boyfriend.

Geralt: Did you find his entrails sprawled on the porch and his head a few paces away? Because those are the types of problem we solve."

"Geralt: Fuck you."
 * Another one from Vergen, when, we hear the town Elder, Cecil, say "Now that's my favorite kind of magic - lesbomancy."
 * As Roche starts his interrogation of shackled Geralt, he offers his hand to shake. The "very funny" dialogue option leads to...

"Geralt: What do you want from me, Roche? I already told you it wasn't me. On top of that, I don't know who's behind it, and frankly, I don't really give a damn. Could've been anyone as I see it. King Demavend, even.
 * The interrogation gets even funnier if you prove to be uncooperative.

Roche: Demavend is dead.

Geralt: ...Is that true?

Roche: He was murdered.

Geralt: Uh-huh. I did that too.

Roche: You were in Vizima at the time. I checked.

Geralt: My doppelganger was in Vizima. I have three of them."

"Triss: I can burp the Nilfgaardian emperor's title without reaching for a beer and I've discovered that Shorty's name has nothing to do with his manhood."
 * Talking to the noble and priest in the prologue of Assassins of Kings, Geralt can sock the noble in the stomach. Roche quips that the priest living and the noble getting slapped is win/win.
 * Upon reaching Flotsam in Assassins of Kings, go talk to Triss in the tavern. Asking her how she's been yields a Deadpan Snarker list of what it's been like stuck on the ship with the rest of the crew.

"Troll: Want soup? Elf and onion! Gooood.
 * When Philippa Eilhart mentions that the customary title for her apprentice Cynthia is "Leashed Sorceress", Geralt gives a hilariously deadpan response: "Do you also use a muzzle?" Philippa gets offended and explains the completely innocuous background behind the term. Later you end up walking on the two in the middle of a BDSM spanking session.
 * Conversations with trolls have their moments:

Geralt: ...I don't really like onions."

"Geralt: Was the man bald? Did he have a scar?
 * Later in that same conversation, you get this gem while trying to track Triss and Letho down:

Troll: Wisha man likes man?

Geralt: *Death Glare*"


 * Roche gets a small one that doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome near the end of Chapter 2 on his path. As he and Geralt charge through Vergen, killing every Kaedweni soldier in sight, he runs across a bridge...which falls out under him. Roche curses as he tumbles, rolls as he hits the ground, and without missing a beat, punches a Kaedweni soldier in the face as he gets up.