Progress Quest



Progress Quest is a parody of RPGs. No actual user input is required once the game is started. Combat takes a set length of time and the rest of the game is based around this. It takes X fights to complete a quest. You need to complete Y quests to gain Z experience to reach the next level. Quests, loot, monsters and spells are randomly generated from set lists.

Players can form guilds and set a motto. Along with the character's name, that is all the customisation available.

All players and guilds are ranked on the Web site.

This features examples of:
"Though scarce a tuft of mansefur had yet made its appearance on the boy's manssach, a number of visiting Roilwachhs have begun to exhibit a discreet and seemingly inexplicable interest in the boy. Strange indeed, as he would not reach his krouchensterm for another harvest or more."
 * Call a Rabbit a Smeerp: The introduction in the "manual" is peppered liberally with nonsense words, a few of which can be tied to real world concepts.


 * Deconstruction: Basically a deconstruction of the whole MMO genre.
 * Deconstruction Game
 * Elemental Embodiment
 * Exactly What It Says on the Tin: the 3-d version, which is exactly the same as the regular version except with
 * Exact Progress Bar: Justified, as the progress bars are all just glorified timers anyway.
 * Fetch Quest
 * Gameplay and Story Segregation: Completing a quest such as "Exterminate the wologs" doesn't stop you from encountering wologs during future quests.
 * Gameplay Automation: The entire point.
 * Impossible Item Drop: You get the weirdest loot from slain monsters.
 * Level Grinding
 * Loads and Loads of Races: Including the Land Squid, Double Wookiee, Talking Pony and Demicanadian...
 * Mass Monster Slaughter Sidequest
 * Money Spider: Averted, enemies never drop actual gold.
 * One Stat to Rule Them All: Kinda. Strength is the only stat that affects gameplay at all, namely, how much loot you can carry (STR + 10): greater strength means bigger backpacks, means less trips to the city, means faster grinding. Wisdom has some effect on what spells you learn, but your spell list is never actually used for anything.
 * Organ Drops
 * Plunder - Pretty much what the whole game is about, other than leaving it on. It even gives the progress bar the status of "Heading to the killing fields" after you get better equipment.
 * Running Gag: Everyone in the community pretends that the Progress Quest you can download is a shareware version, and that there's a variety of paid versions (Silver, Gold, Platinum, Carbon Nanotube, etc.). Paid Progress Quest is apparently the best game of all time.
 * So Bad It's Good: One of the few instances where its successfully intentionally invoked.
 * Spell Book - While absolutely useless, one exists and it sports a healthy variety of both believable and highly unorthodox spells.
 * Twenty Bear Asses
 * Unit Confusion: Your encumbrance is measured in cubits.