Kung Pow! Enter the Fist/Funny

"I mean, crap, man! Look at that! That's, like, his stomach plug, on the ground back there. You don't see that every day. I mean that doesn't really even seem possible, if you think about it. With body organs, and cartilage and bones. I mean, I'm no doctor, but, it was like, one clean chunk!"
 * Kung Pow: Enter The Fist. The Narrator's speech about two minutes into the movie.

""At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about Iron Claws: THEY HURT LIKE CRAP, MAN!""
 * Don't forget this gem:

""We are both ventriloquists and now we're upside down!"
 * He really should have listened to that one-boobed chick.
 * The ventriloquists.

"I swing a bit more!"

"I swing a bit less!"

"But we both swing if you know what we mean...""

"Ling: "Is it better now?"
 * Gopher Chucks!
 * Ling trying to heal the Chosen One's hands after they're injured in training.

Chosen One: "... You just broke a thermometer over my hands.""

"Chosen One: You are the Pie Man. Your pies are known for miles around."
 * Improbable as it may seem, This Troper prefers the "What they were Actually Saying" alternate Audio track, as it turns it into a straightforward(untranslated) kung fu movie with some guy walking around saying things that don't make sense even in English.(With Exceptions)

"Master Tang: He told me that there would be a Chosen One.
 * You will now refer to me by the name, Betty!
 * One of this troper's favorite moments was this scene:

(dreamy flashback)

Ling's Father: There will be a chosen one. [/flashback]

Master Tang: Then he told me of its significance...

(dreamy flashback)

Ling's Father: It will be significant.[/flashback]"


 * "I'm a man too, you know. I go peepee standing up!"
 * YOUR CLOTHES ARE BLACK!
 * "Just because someone rolls over and goes ugh doesn't mean they're dead."
 * The scene where Master Pain Betty shows off his secret skill -- the ability to resist Groin Attacks. Then the Chosen One's failure to replicate ability.
 * The "I'm Coming!" scene. Very well edited.
 * ...And why are you in bed?"
 * "Yes, yes. Play me like a drum"
 * "Hey, guys. What's goin' on?" (gets punched)
 * "Shirt ripper!"
 * "THAT'S A LOT OF NUTS."
 * "THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!"
 * HE JUST LEFT, WITH NUTS!
 * The chosen one's entire fight with Moon Yuu, the cow.
 * "Leap that wall, if you're so great!"
 * The Chosen One's sissy meltdown when he can't figure out how to pull off Betty's caps (and the narration that accompanies it.)
 * ONE! OF US! IS WEARING! A PUSH-UP BRA!
 * "Towel!"
 * Chosen One letting himself get beat up with sticks.
 * "I'm sure on some planet your style is impressive, but your weak link is: this is Earth."
 * "Ohhh...chicken go 'cluck, cluck,' cow go 'moo!' Piggy go 'oink oink,' how about you? Gonna be an animal just like you...lemur go *hiss hiss*, ostrich go, 'Peh!' Koala go *click click click click*..."
 * "At least cover your mouth! We're all going to catch it!"
 * Well, pretty much every word out of Betty's mouth.