Ed, Edd 'n' Eddy/Funny



"Jimmy: I brought quiche! (holds up a steaming tray)
 * From the 2nd episode Pop Goes the Ed, Jimmy shows Rolf some food he brought to the party:

Rolf: It's the food of the (runs finger over lips rapidly)!! THE PARTY IS CUUUUURSED!! (runs away)"

"Ed: (using a saw) Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom... I cut the air in two! This side's yours, Double D!
 * In "The Good Ol' Ed", in a fake flashback, Edd was suffering from an extreme case of hiccups, which Ed tried to cure by holding Edd's mouth open very wide and shouting "I am a zombie, and I will malice you with a shoehorn!" into it.
 * "Yeah, Double-D! An elephant never forgets but I forget what the elephant remembered."
 * Ed's reaction to the pancake batter being poured over the cul-de-sac kids: "IT'S A BOY!"
 * The "sawing the air" bit in "Momma's Little Ed".

Edd: We can share the air, Ed!

Eddy: It's my air; I ain't sharing! Ed, stop sawing the air!"

"Ed: We can be like brothers and share the same bathroom!"
 * And earlier, along with Edd's reaction to it:

"Deep below the dirt and rock
 * Anything involving Funny Foreigner Rolf, especially the song of Yeshmiyek from the Christmas Special "Ed Edd 'n' Eddy's Jingle Jingle Jangle".

There lives a bearded maiden fair

Whose kitchen pot is bigger

Than her size of underwear, HEY!"

"Ed: Buy one, get one free! Ha ha ha."
 * "The beast circles with hunger! We must appease it with a sacrifice!".
 * "POPPYCOCK!"
 * "Son of a gun, you insult Rolf by denying the eels?!"
 * How about when he made swiss cheese in "Stuck in Ed", by using a corkscrew to make holes in the cheese?
 * "The harsh realities of your miserable lives have been restored! Thank you."
 * "A wooden board saved you from three evil witches and a creepy-crawly? MAMA! The fairy tale that haunts Rolf has come true!"
 * "Never again will Rolf store house keys in his trouser pocket..."
 * Even better is how the split second before the cow falls on him, he has enough time to scream "Mama! A bandage for Rolf!"
 * The entire "That's My Horse" sequence from "Wish You Were Ed".
 * "A giant sea cucumber arose from the depths with one eye, blinking and blinking and looking at Rolf like a sandwich!"
 * "The space beneath the rock is vacant, she who gives migraines."
 * "Are you weak in the upper story?"
 * Then there's his doomsday speech about school in "Out With The Old, In With The Ed." Or at least, the fact that it's a doomsday speech.
 * "THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!". Everything Rolf says in "Rambling Ed."
 * In the movie, Rolf yells at : "Rolf has had enough of your blunt-doodle, elder one! PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MERCILESS THRASHING!!!" *shows muscles and then subsequently grabs Kevin and throws him forward to face Eddy's brother in his place*
 * Ed with bananas up his nose.

"Eddy: Not bad, huh, burr-head?
 * In "A Boy And His Ed", Edd is teaching Ed and Eddy about Kevin while they plan to get jawbreakers from him. At one point, Ed and Eddy shoot spitballs at the Kevin dummy Edd made.

Ed: Graah.


 * Ed puts a book in his mouth, chews it up, and tries to spit it out through the straw, but it backs up.*

Ed: Oh no! My brain came out!

Eddy: That's too big to be your brain!"

"Edd: What do you notice about Kevin?
 * Also, this:

Eddy: His chin is almost as big as yours?

Edd: [quickly pulls his shirt collar up over his chin]] No, I was talking about, um...

Eddy: Those three stupid hairs on his head? |undefined"

"Edd: No one would ever expect Mother Nature to harbor a springloaded circus cannon and blow innocent bystanders to kingdom come!"
 * The "Slide on the soap!" sequence in "From Here to Ed".
 * Try watching it for 10 minutes.
 * How about 15 minutes?
 * This Troper's earliest memories of this show is that very scene.
 * From the same episode, when Eddy prepares to fire a cannon at Kevin from a very crudely-built cardboard cloud contraption, Double-D's reaction takes the cake:

"Ed: Nice job, Double-D! That looks just like a Q.
 * Then there's "It Came From Outer Ed", showing us exactly what happens when Ed comes up with a scam. It involves many parts that make no sense, including Ed telling Edd to move a bunch of rocks onto an X on the ground, despite the fact that Ed actually painted a Q. This is probably the highlight:

Edd: Excuse me? Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought. Your plan is irrational, muddled, and inconsequential... Is that a doggy treat?

Ed: * munching on a dog biscuit* What's the rock for, Double-D?

Edd: * bewildered, drops the rock on his foot* My foot!

Eddy: * comes into scene brutally injured* MY HEAD!"

"Ed: EVIL TIM HAS BECKONED THEM!"
 * And from the above-mentioned episode, the final line as Ed's "scam" comes to fruition:

"Ed: Because I am a brother, and Eddy's brother is a brother, and Eddy is a brother to Eddy's brother, as a brother I am. *hugs himself*
 * Ed again (he's just made of this trope, isn't he?) in "O-Ed Eleven", this time explaining to Edd how he deciphered the map made by Eddy's older brother, as only he can:

Edd: Nicely put, Ed.

Eddy: Oh brother."

"Edd: Pure fiction, Eddy! Your exaggerated tale can only be described as "cockamamie!"
 * Also, Double-D peers out the entrance to his house after Eddy whacks upon the door multiple times, asking "...Why did you pummel my door with a shovel?"
 * How deadpan his expression is also helps.
 * This exchange after Double D calls Eddy out on his version of a Rashomon story in "Once Upon An Ed":

Ed: Tsk tsk tsk... I have never heard such language..."

"Eddy: Ed, your story's getting weird."
 * Ed's version of the story. It involves the Kanker sisters growing fifty feet high after eating "over-radiated mashed potatoes", shooting laser beams from chickens in their armpits that turn things into soap and cleansing products. They then mash together into one horrendous thing and start shooting radioactive lipstick marks. Ed saves the day by grabbing the Eds and suddenly gaining the ability to fly while making buzzing noises despite lacking wings or anything of the like.

"Edd: Blah Blah Blah, blah blah blah, blahblahblah! Yak yak, blah blah, drivel drivel drivel!"
 * In that same episode, how Ed sees Double D when he's talking

"Eddy: Approach me mortal, for I am the great Baron O' Beef Dip!
 * From "Once Bitten, Twice Ed", Eddy using one of Ed's toys (he just crudely tapes a walkie-talkie to the back of a monster action figure) to trick Ed into doing increasingly stupid tasks has got to be, in This Troper's opinion, one of the funniest moments in the entire series.

Ed: (Confused) Baron O' Beef Dip?

Eddy: Is there an echo in here?"

"Edd: (comes in with the rocket Ed 'fired' lodged in his ear) "Ed, I believe this is your-GOOD LORD, MAN!"
 * Baron O' Bee...I mean, Eddy commanding Ed to eat his mattress is the funniest bit in that sequence, especially when Ed responds with an enthusiastic "YUM!"
 * Seconds later, Edd walks into the room, and is horrified to discover that Ed had somehow unhinged his own jaw and is actually swallowing his mattress whole!

Ed: (Eating the mattress, and finishes as Double D shakes in fear of seeing things he rather not see, and somehow manages to digest the whole thing into his stomach, and retaining his original form shortly thereafter) "That hit the spot!

Edd: "Ed, what have I told you about the needless taxing of one's digestive system?""

"Ed: Sit down and say "Hello, Johnny".
 * "Wolf down the non-believer!"
 * The bit from "Dear Ed", where Ed falls down the stairs like a rag doll and Johnny remarks "Wow, Ed, you go down the stairs just like Plank!"
 * The bit earlier in that episode with Ed reading the cue cards was even better.

Johnny: Hello?

Ed: Ask him how... he is.

Edd: "How are you", "How are you"!

Ed: I'm fine, thanks. Okay, a little hungry."

"Eddy: (Hands Ed a helmet) Put this on. It'll protect your head... from what, I don't know."
 * Ed's baby picture. 'Nuff said.
 * The ENTIRE episode in which the Eds make a tree-house is full of this. However, Eddy's deadpan remark regarding Ed's safety has got to be the cherry on top-

"Jonny: Feel the wind, Plank!"
 * EVERYTHING Ed says in the episode. Or at all, really, but especially in this episode.
 * How about when the kids start breaking all the rules in "Stop, Look, and Ed"? Funniest moment? Jonny streaking with Plank strategically placed over his privates.

"Ed: (♪ thwack ♪ thwack ♪ thwack ♪ thwack ♪) I'm a woodpecker (♪ thwack ♪ thwack ♪ thwack) 'Cept with dirt."
 * Also this moment:

"Edd: Hold your horses! This butt's been used!"
 * Robbin' Ed. All of it. From Edd's Bad Bad Acting in the "infomercial" for the Thing-a-ma-jig to Jonny's superhero alter-ego Captain Melonhead being saved from getting dunked in gravy by

"Ed: I found a bone! Cool, huh?"
 * The entirety of "Eds-aggerate", especially the part with Ed interrupting Edd yet again by showing that he has a bone in his ear canal.

"Ed: Well, I was walking down the sidewalk, carrying Eddy's box, when I saw a bug. Hello, bug! I followed the little dickens to this tree, see? And I hit my head on that branch! (hits head on branch) Nope, sorry. It was this one. (hits head on another branch) Then, I gazed at the stars.
 * "Luck of the Ed" has the following moments:

Edd: Ed? Please don't do that.

Eddy: C'mon, we're wasting time! Where'd ya hide the magazines, Ed?

Ed: Here we go... (pulls out a rubber chicken) ... a rubber chicken. (throws chicken) "Hide the box, hide the box", I said... (trips on rubber chicken) ... but then I tripped; hanging onto my pal's box of magazines for dear life! (falls over) I fell, and slid into a sewer.

Eddy: A SEWER?! My magazines are in the sewer?!

Edd: Seems appropriate. You do realize that if your magazines are in that sewer, they'll be totally illegible; the text smeared by the damp sludge.

(Beat)

Eddy: IT'S THE PICTURES I'M WORRIED ABOUT!"

"Eddy: What's with the glass?
 * The following scene where they examine Ed.

Edd: Eddy, please don't interrupt. (take out a cupcake) Now Ed, do you see what I see?

(Beat)

Ed: CUPCAKE!

Eddy: So what's with the cupcake?!

Edd: Patience, please!

(Edd places the cupcake on the glass and Ed wolfs it down. Edd then sandwiches Ed's head between two slides of glass)

Eddy: What's with Ed's face?!

Edd: Will you just let me do this, Eddy?!"

"Edd: *exasperated* Ed, there's a new invention called "soap," have you heard of it?"
 * Which follows with the disgusting things that Edd sees in Ed's hair.

"Ed: (After Eddy stole his eyebrow) But Eddy, I can't make funny faces without that!"
 * "The number you are dialing is not in service."
 * The "My bike!" "The magazines!" "Hat, please!" and "Eyebrow" argument.

"Ed: (thinking) Hello? Echo! My name is Ed!"
 * Even better in the Mexican dub, where Ed says instead: "Eddy! I can't make Anime faces without that eyebrow!".
 * Yet another Ed moment, from "Boys Will Be Eds": the boys (most of them, anyway) are thinking about Nazz. Ed's thoughts?

"Edd: Sorry, Eddy, the 'planet baron' story threw me off."
 * Ed using a vacuum to suck up his baby sister Sarah's snot in "Is There An Ed In The House?".
 * For about 10-15 seconds, no less.
 * "An Ed Is Born", the one where the boys are making a video to send to Eddy's brother, is CMOF in its entirety.

"Ed: Man the helms! Dive! Dive!"
 * The scene where Ed eats the camera is the icing on that cake of hilarity.

"Jonny: FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!
 * "Are you stealing Rolf's soul with your filmbox?"
 * "Ed... Pass It On" has Ed as a roast turkey. Naked.

Edd: Ed, you were supposed to use a REAL TURKEY!!!

Ed: Stuffing, anybody?

Eddy: Idiot."

"Kevin: What's with the balloons; you dorks getting married? To each other?"
 * Later, Kevin sees the Eds setting up for a fake welcome-home party for Eddy's brother

"Ed: Ski party a go-go! *Ed and Rolf's animals are on a sled, going down the stairs to Ed's room, Victor bleats*  Hot cocoa and potato salad! Who's with me?!"
 * "Who's Minding the Ed?" had this (yes, it's yet ANOTHER Ed moment):

"Ed: Cookies at my house, Double-D! With lots of mayonnaise!
 * In the same vein at the end of "Too Smart For His Own Ed:"

Edd: That's... not really necessary, Ed."

"Edd: Now what?
 * This hilarious exchange from "Mirror, Mirror on the Ed":

Eddy: I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Ed: Can I think?

Edd and Eddy: NO!"

"Edd: Um, guys?
 * The scene JUST before that always cracks me up.

Eddy: What?

Edd: (Points) IMPROBABLE ALERT!

Eddy: (Looks, down, then runs away) AAHH!

Edd and Eddy: Come back, Ed!

Ed: (STILL floating) I can jump it, guys.

Edd and Eddy: No, Ed! *both grab him*"

"Ed: Ok, Eddy, I dare you to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" through a car wash!
 * The Eds playing Truth or Dare later in the episode becomes absolutely hilarious when Ed gives Eddy the most nonsensical dare ever.

Double D: Ed, try a more reasonable dare."

"Ed: Okay, my turn to spin! *quite literally*"
 * Before that, Ed takes the first turn and actually spins himself instead of the bottle.

""Oh, the insanitary! My skinny arms cannot move the weight! Oh, I know, I'll move it with my brain!"
 * Eddy's attempts at talking like Edd:

"Pardon me, Eddy, may I fuel-inject? Chickens cannot fly, as they are mammals!"

Edd: Uh-oh, a fence. (runs into it) Gravy!

Ed: Aw, c'mon, Double-Dee, I don't say "gravy" all the time

Edd: Buttered toast, then."

"Edd: Remind me to ask how you did that Ed..."
 * In "Ed, Ed and Away", Ed manages to make Eddy fly by pulling on a strap on Eddy's pants, causing his hair to spin like a helicopter. Edd's reaction is the funniest part:

"Rolf: Never again will Rolf store house keys in his trouser pockets..."
 * Also, in the same episode, all three Eds are chasing after a balloon as they run through Rolf's farm and plow through several animals... Except for a cow which promptly falls on top of Rolf.

"Edd: We'd have to sprout wings to reach it at that height!
 * And again, from the same episode and sequence:

Ed: Fly, Double-D, fly! *throws Edd*

Nazz: *walks by* Hey, guys, whatcha doin'?

Ed: Fly, Nazz, fly! *throws Nazz*

Eddy: "She didn't even make a grab for it!"

"Ed: Float, little friend, float. *tosses balloon*"
 * Then, after the balloon pops...

"Edd: Well that was an upturn for the worse.
 * The whole episode, really. Gets even better when you realize that the show managed to make a funny and entertaining episode about chasing a balloon.
 * The entire episode 'They Call Him Mr. Ed', including the gratuitous use of the word "up", Ed's cardboard elevator, and Edd and Eddy's reactions to espresso:

Eddy: I almost upchucked!"

"Ed: Forgot about the wall..."
 * The bid where Ed carries something into the homemade elevator cartoon-style with two of him at both ends and the part where he runs into the invisible barrier Double D set up before! Cartoon logic at it's best, folks!

"Edd: Ed... Not that you'd understand the geometry involved in such an endeavor, but... That isn't how you go "through" a maze!
 * Ed's Dungeon Bypass at the beginning of the episode.

Ed: Hang on, Double-D, I'll think of something."

"Ed: (Holding a house over them) Here, Eddy! Lots of hurt, hold the onions.
 * In "Cry Ed", Eddy tries to injure himself to get the kids to worry about him and not Jimmy. To do so, he prompts Edd to punch him, but Edd refuses to do so. Eddy taunts Edd for being chicken. Ed looks at this exchange with confusion, then smiles with an idea before walking off. Later, a shadow casts over Eddy and Ed, which prompts this little dialogue:

Edd: (Completely and rationally freaks out) OKAY FINE I'M A CHICKEN! (quickly runs away)

Eddy: (dumbfounded) Um... Ed? (Ed drops the house on Eddy)

Edd: ED! What in heaven's name were you thinking?!

Ed: (proudly) Absolutely nothing, Double D."

"Ed: You are Rolf!"
 * The bit in "Quick Shot Ed" where Rolf fell into his own sausage machine and got turned into a giant hot dog, which prompts him to freak out, going, "I am a wiener!"

"Ed: The kids entered a wormhole and were spewed into a alternate universe! Simple!
 * From "Laugh, Ed, Laugh", Eddy using Ed as a shovel while Ed gleefully chants "Dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole..."
 * The entire episode qualifies, from Eddy going nuts, to Ed's explanation on why the kids weren't outside....

Eddy: You're simple."


 * Double-D locks Eddy in a shed, and tells Ed to hide the key "discretely." Ed promptly places the key between two slices of bread and begins chewing on it. Then Eddy asks what happened to