Bastion/Funny

""And then the Kid fell to his death."
 * Any time the narrator snarks.

(Kid immediately falls back onto the play area)

"Naw, I'm just foolin'.""

""Now that's just overkill. I mean really -- come on.""
 * "You can turn that bull any way you want. It'll still be ugly."
 * "Kid just rages for a while..."
 * "Know how many times The Kid nearly fell off that barge?... not even once."
 * "He cuts down every Stabweed like there's going to be a prize for it."
 * Upon equipping both the Mortar and the Calamity Cannon:

""I've been meaning to put some guard rails there.""
 * Upon falling off of the Bastion:

"This microphone smells funny.
 * There are some unused audio files in the game that are actually pretty funny. Link

You find that old boat? Plant it.

You find a rusty, old pocket watch? Plant it.

Find a copy of Terminator 2 on laserdisk? Plant it.

You find a pair of socks? Plant it.

You find a Milli Vanilli casette tape? Plant it."

""We could have ourselves a mighty fine cookout with those items. Too bad that's not what we're doing.""
 * Upon equipping the Fire Bellows and the War Machete:


 * Anytime that a particularly hard boss is defeated by... falling off the playfield. This tends to happen a lot with Scumbags and Lunkheads.
 * Killing a boss with the explosion-on-death effect from Hearty Punch is pretty funny, too, especially if you weren't expecting it/forgot you had it on. Queen Anne the Anklegator is particularly vulnerable to this.
 * The Kid lands at any given area... flat on his face.