Berserk Abridged/Funny

"Griffith: Such power and grace. I must have him.
 * Episode 2: Griffith's reaction to Guts fighting in battle and his attempt to cover up his feelings.

Red-Headed Member of the Hawks: What was that, sir?

Griffith: In... my army. I must have him in my army. I covered that up well."

"Guts: It's almost as if this is a metaphor for something too horrible to contemplate! (cut to manga panel of ) Holy crap! Too horrible to contemplate is right. First thing tomorrow, I'm getting back to work repressing this."
 * "I THOUGHT I SAID NO MUSIC!!" "You said no Johnny Cash--this is Billy Joel!"
 * Guts's dream sequence. All of it.

"Judeau: But I don't get it. One minute, Griffith is coming on to you like a fangirl backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, and the next he's ordering a naked woman to share your tent.
 * Guts' first day with the Hawks:

Casca: Maybe he's just playing hard to get.

Guts: Yeah, or maybe he's hoping one night with you will turn me off of women altogether.

[Casca decks him]"

"Griffith: [in a hilariously effete tone] Now say you're my bitch, or I'll dislocate your shoulder.
 * Episode 3: The entire rematch, but especially Griffith.

Griffith: And now, by some alien logic, I own you, Guts.

Griffith: Hey, everyone! I own a human life!

The Band of the Hawk: *Hooray! Cheering!*"

"Guts: Well, I guess it's true what the Republicans say: All it takes is one homoerotic water-fight to turn ya queer."
 * Episode 4: The homoerotic water-fight.

"Guts: (As he kicks the crap out of some perfectly innocent guards in a Brock Sampson Comedic Sociopathy moment) I loooovvveee hurting people! I loooovveee beating people up!"
 * Episode 5: "The porn! The porn! The porn is on fire! Everyone retreat, we'll just have to make do with Griffith's﻿ back issues of Cosmo!"
 * Episode 6: Zodd telling Guts' and Griffith' futures and comparing Guts to Naruto and Griffith to Sasuke.
 * Episode 7: Guts' mercifully short lived musical moment.

"Griffith: Wait, how come I have to be the emo freak? You're like eight times more emo than I am."
 * Also Griffith's reaction to the Naruto comparison above.

"Guts: Hey seriously, you should take a look at that injury between your legs. I'm kinda starting to worry. I tended the rest of your wounds while you were asleep, but I couldn't get that one to stop bleeding."
 * How can any one forget "Hey Griffith, put some pants on! Straight people are here!
 * Episode 12: Guts thinks menstruation is a myth, and that women steal men's bodily fluids to make leprechauns.

"Zodd: "KNEEL BEFORE ZODD, BITCH! KNEEL BEFORE ZODD!""
 * "Governor, I brought you a Pogo Stick!" "Oh Thank you!" "NAUGHTY!"
 * Episode 22: "Damn you demons and your diet pills.....DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!"
 * When Zodd finds out the show is canceled due to, according to the priest from Hellsing, personal reasons, it didn't go well on the abridger's end...


 * From one of the "War of the Abridged Series Creators" videos, when Guts works too well at getting a Cactrot upset.
 * As well as the Christmas episode done with a few other abridgers: NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY! NAUGHTY!