My Really Great Code Geass Fic

""Hi my names Alys (YUS spelt like that!) Issa Jeanyos. I live in the lovely land of Area 11 and I'm 18 years old. I have long chestnut-colored locks which turn golden brown highlights in the sun and eyes the color of dark chocolate and pale skin that really shouldn't tan but does. I got curves in all the right places and nice long fingers and I like to wear super sexy and badass clothing like the black miniskirt and red keyhole top I was wearing right now..""

- My Really Great Code Geass Fic’s first sentence (ignoring the Author’s Note). It Got Worse after that.

FanFic: My Really Great Code Geass Fic by Alicekinsno1 is about Alys Issa Jeanyos, an eighteen year old girl who has a secret crush on the popular Lelouch.

The plot (if it can be called that) is as follows:

To her amazement, one day Lelouch asks her if she would help him save the world, since she’s pretty. A bout of OMG good sex follows, while Alys shouts “OH HELL YEAH!” repeatedly. Lelouch takes Alys to his house, where Sayoko, C.C., Mao and Nunnally all live. C.C., who refuses to speak in anything but Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe, promptly makes Alys the house maid, much to her annoyance. While Lelouch and her are screwing again, Mao comes in nude and tries to bite her ears, having an erection that reaches past his knees. They fend him off and C.C. comes in to escort Mao away, but he wets the floor, and C.C. makes Alys clean it up. Then, after Mao gets dressed in Nunnally's 'girl clothes', everybody has dinner, during which Alys confesses her lust for little Nunnally. When it's time for bed, C.C. makes Alys sleep in the basement, but she finds Mao there and so after a sleepless night, Mao wets himself again and C.C. makes her bathe him. Are you really still reading this? Then at school, Milly lets Alys join the 'student counsel' where Shirley again tries to assert her claim to Alys' body. Joined by Kallen, they run to a 'secret layer in a secret type cave' and have a Black Knights meeting where they decide to "fight the evil Brits and free Japan!" (oh and Ohgi finds the missing pen Viletta gave him). They all board Humongous Mecha and attack a secret ‘ebil layer’. Using a hammer, Alys disables the enemy Knightmare and then Suzaku and Lloyd square off, only to end of having sex because Suzaku is gay! Then Lelouch agrees to take Lloyd and Suzaku home with them, where Suzaku begins cutting his wrists and Lloyd goes on and on about how to develop spider-goat hybrid creatures. Yeah.... PLEASE tell me you're not still reading this! Then Lloyd tries to rape Mao, but he runs away. Alys takes him to the basement where he tries to hug a kitten...while holding a chainsaw. The obvious consequence happens and Mao cries. A lot. Oh yeah, and finally uses his Geass on Alys. Then she goes upstairs and makes Lloyd cry by calling him an asshole, while Lelouch mulls over how fabulous he is. Then Alys finally goes downstairs, finds Mao listening to the 'cuppycake song' and snuggles with a plushy. The next morning, Ohgi inexplicably dies, Alys and Lulu have lots more sex and C.C. makes a very tempting offer to her. No, not that kind of offer (thank God)!

While there’s nothing resembling a plot here it does have lots of screwing, horrible grammar, wrist-cutting, homo-/bisexuality, and horrendous anatomical descriptions. The constant spelling mistakes don’t help the reader’s understanding either. The story may or may not be the work of a Troll, but it’s definitely a Crack Fic. May be an attempt at the Code Geass version of My Immortal *shudders*.

Provides examples of:
 * A Date with Rosie Palms: Mao pokes his “thingy”. Later Alys starts "touching herself" after watching Todoh and Suzaku together.
 * Anticlimax: Chapter 4 sets up a fight scene between Suzaku and Llloyd but then…they just give up and try to have sex. Try being the operative word.
 * Author Avatar: The protagonist’s name is Alys. The author’s name is Alice.
 * Beige Prose: Anytime Alys and Lelouch have sex. It's pretty much just, 'he grabbed a condom and we screwed'.
 * Big Dumb Hero: Lelouch
 * Brain Bleach: Read the descriptions of Mao and you’ll want some. Or when Lloyd tries to rape Mao. But still just Mao.
 * Cluster F-Bomb: When Shirley sees Lelouch and Alys having sex she exclaims, 'What the fucking fuck are you fuckers doing? Fuck off my Alys Lelouch, you fucking motherfucker!' Alys also makes use of one when she has to fucking sleep in the fucking basement.
 * Crack Fic
 * Crunchtastic: When people speak, they ‘shoot’. They also shout things ‘angstily’, 'handsomily', 'popularly' and 'uncannily'. Also, Alys tells Lelouch, "But he was mad scientisting you!"
 * Demoted to Extra: A particularly severe example. Just as Ohgi is about to introduce himself to Alys, he falls over dead. No explanation; just dead.
 * Department of Redundancy Department: The Black Knights hideout is a 'secret layer in a secret type cave'
 * Gag Penis: Mao
 * Gorn: The fate of the kitten Mao hugs...while holding a chainsaw
 * Kudzu Plot: If it had a plot…
 * Lampshade: At her first 'student counsel' meeting, Alys decides she wants to join. When Milly agrees, Alys remarks, "Really? Just like that?"
 * Large Ham
 * Narm: Suzaku’s name switches to Cryzaku and Spinzaku suddenly. As well as Simonzaku later on.
 * Out of Character: Everyone
 * Overly Long Name: Alys Issa Jeanyos
 * Punny Name: Say "Alys Issa Jeanyos" out loud.
 * I GET IT! HAHA!
 * Rouge Angles of Satin: Seems to get worse as the story…um…progresses.
 * That Came Out Wrong: "...Mao wet the floor. CC came." No, really. Apparently, when Mao does this it turns C.C. on.
 * Took a Level In Badass: Alys is able to destroy the Lancelot with nothing but a hammer and then backflip down to the ground without so much as breaking a high heel.
 * Troll Fic: Very, very likely.
 * When All You Have Is a Hammer: Played literally when Alys dismantles a Humongous Mecha with nothing but a hammer.
 * Wish Fulfillment: For the author, getting screwed by Lelouch, apparently
 * Ye Olde Butcherede Englishe: C.C. speaks in this. Nobody really knows why.