Talks Like a Simile/Quotes

""[This game is so hard] it's like going outside during a thunderstorm and trying to dodge rain! It's like trying to walk barefoot without touching the ground with your heels or toes! It's like trying to pick fly shit out of pepper! While wearing boxing gloves!""

- The Angry Video Game Nerd, reviewing The Silver Surfer

"Marina: Have I mentioned that I can form a compound sentence in which the subjects and the verbs all agree, and periodically employ similes to make my point, as birds use twigs to make their nests?"

- Pericles, Prince of Tired Plots

""I have always believed that the truth shall set you free, but that a good lie, properly told, shall handcuff you to the bedposts, spread whipped cream about your body, and lick your nipples until they're red and raw, humming with vibrant ecstasy.""

- Vincet Rubio, Hot and Sweaty Rex