Ugly Americans/Funny

"Twayne: I decided I'm going to kill you anyway.
 * This exchange from Hell for the Holidays:

Mark: Wait, what?

And then Twayne proceeding"

"Mr. Calametti: Manbird is the most difficult and least popular language on the planet. There's over 500 variations of this phrase alone. Say it loud. Say it proud.
 * "Mrs. Boneraper, Twayne hurt himself!"
 * Mark learning how to speak Manbird.

Mark: (Hesitantly) Sssuck my balls. (Mr. Calametti slaps him) Ah!

Mr. Calametti: You just called my father a coward!

Mark: (Cheerily) Suck my... balls!

Mr. Calametti: Now you're asking for salad."

"Mr. Calametti: You threw him off the roof!? I thought you were a social worker!
 * And later...

Mark: He looked ready! Clearly... he wasn't."

"Twayne: This is gonna be reeeeal freaky."
 * "Sara. No."

"Mini-Leonard: I regret this decision! *After getting into a windowless van*"
 * The entirety of "Kill, Mark... Kill!", with the focus being on the many, many deaths of the mini-Leonards.

"Twayne: Ponies, Ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies, ponies."
 * Mack Maggotbone's advice to Twayne in "Callie and Her Sister", to simply "think of something you like" when having public sex with her.

"Leonard: I can see your whole shlong from down here.
 * And from the same episode... poor, traumatized Doug, having to see Callie's parents reunite in a way that made even Callie cringe!
 * After Leonard and Spell-sick Mark joust when Mark stands over Leonard this exchange occurs.

Mark: Then you die a lucky man."


 * Clone!Mark and his glove of doom.
 * Pretty much the entirety of "Mark Loves Dick". Filled to the brim with hysterical Ho Yay.
 * When they saw the Kraken, their response: literally pissed themselves. With one of them saying "craaaap."
 * The entirety of "The Dork Knight".