Spider-Man/Funny

Comics

 * JMS Spider-Man
 * Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane
 * The Spectacular Spider-Man
 * Ultimate Spider-Man

"Slyde: That's right, citizens of New Slyde City! You have all been Slyde'd! Slode? Slydomized?"
 * Spidey's response to why Jameson hates him so much.
 * Now doubles as Hilarious in Hindsight
 * Also, JJJ's use of the classic defense, "I have black friends", is actually true, considering his buddy Joe Robertson. This makes it even funnier (along with his lawyer's Face Palm).
 * Lady Stilt-Man. Even Spidey can't stop laughing... And the way she is defeated is even more hilarious. Even before Deadpool shows up, this is one of the most hilarious issues of Spider-Man in years.
 * 2003's "The Rules of the Game" arc is packed with them. A robot falling in love with Reed Richards, Rocket Racer smacking into a window in an attempt to make a cool entrance, Peter putting on a disguise and getting beaten up at a Bad Guy Bar... but the best had to be Scorpion being tricked into into breaking his own leg. "If that was... then whose leg is... Oh Crap."
 * One issue of Spider-Man was called "Slyde Into Destiny". It features Spidey's unknown archfoe, an incredibly minor and deluded villain calling himself "Slyde".

"Spider-Man: A-ha! I knew we had something in common besides our love of tights! You're into old movies too, huh?
 * During Mike Wieringo's Spider-Man run, just after he super-evolved and just before the Civil War. Aunt May completely owns, humiliates and scares the living bejeebers out of Tony Stark, Reed Richards and Hank Pym. These three have faced down cosmic horrors from beyond time and space and one little old lady turns them into quivering messes.
 * Aunt May has frightened J. Jonah Jameson so badly that JJJ has forbidden Peter from ever letting her phone him again. This is a (perfectly normal) man whose reaction to costumed killers tearing his office apart to murder him is one of irritation at how much this is going to cost, and one little old lady had him holding the phone two feet from his ear and cringing. Do not mess with Aunt May.
 * Batman / Spider-Man, after Batman corrects Spidey's reference to The Road To Morocco:

Batman: I was - when I was young.

Spider-Man: Young? Somehow, I can't picture you ever being young! You must've been pretty cute, waddling around in your diapers, chasing the Joker across the playground!

Batman: I was never "cute"."

Movies

 * Most of J. Jonah Jameson's scenes, really.

Spider-Man
"Peter Parker: Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander.
 * This exchange:

J. Jonah Jameson: It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel."

"Announcer: The Human Spider, that's it, that's the best you got?
 * The scene where Flash tries attacking Peter after he's gotten his powers. His super-reflexes are represented by Bullet Time... which is so slow that he has time to dodge Flash's punch, shoot a confused look up at Flash, then focus his attention back on the fist, all in the time it takes a single punch to be thrown.
 * Peter's initial attempts to figure out how his web-shooting works, including Shout Outs to other comic heroes.
 * Spider-Man silencing J. Jonah Jameson with webbing and telling him (referring to him and Green Goblin) "Hey kiddo, let Mom and Dad talk for a minute will ya?"
 * Peter's original idea for his name.

Peter: Yeah.

Announcer: Oh, that sucks..."


 * Peter to Bonesaw: "That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?"
 * Peter freaking out when he learns he signed up for a cage match. "Hey! Unlock the thing! Take the chain off!" "Hey freak-o! You're going nowhere! I got you for three minutes! Three minutes of playtime!"

Spider-Man 2
"J. Jonah Jameson: I'll give you 150.
 * Jameson's epic reaction to Peter's request to be paid in advance.
 * For some reason, I always bust out laughing when J. Jonah Jameson realizes Mary Jane stood up his son at the altar. The very first thing he says to his wife, with the utmost seriousness in his voice, is "Call the caterer. Tell her not to open the caviar."
 * Here's one most people miss:

Peter Parker: 300.

J. Jonah Jameson: That's outrageous! Done."

"Peter: Um! Sorry!"
 * Spidey in the elevator.
 * In the climactic scene, just after MJ discovers Peter is Spider-Man, a giant wall starts falling on her. He catches it, grins at her, and says "Hi!"
 * "This is... really heavy."
 * The outtakes of JK Simmons trying to say "...a thief!" when Spidey takes his costume back due to the fake teeth in his mouth that won't stop popping out.
 * The scene in 2.1 where JJ wears the Spidey Suit unaware he's being watched.
 * The "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" scene.
 * The bit that always slaughters me is the bicycle wheel coming off, bouncing out the window and hitting a car below. Cue yells.

"Spiderman: I'M BACK!
 * The spoof of his first Spidey-sequence.


 * Starts to fall, falls into washing lines and lands on a car. He gets up and his back cracks loudly*

Spiderman: MY BACK!"


 * In an interview on public radio, Bruce Campbell discusses his various roles in the films, playing up their importance for laughs. When discussing his usher role in this film, he jokingly brags that he "defeated Spider-Man."
 * WHOOOA, HE STOLE THAT GUYS PIZZA!

Spider-Man 3

 * J. Jonah Jameson has high blood pressure and medication to take, whilst Miss Brant has a charge from his wife to make sure he doesn't lose his temper, a long history of being treated like his dogsbody and an intercom with a loud buzzer. Revenge is had.
 * The scene where Peter Parker, under the possession of the symbiote, conclusively disproves both that Evil Is Cool and Evil Is Sexy by strutting down the street like someone out of Saturday Night Fever with a spectacularly daft Emo haircut, convinced he's the hot-stuff despite the looks of confusion, bemusement and disgust from every woman he crosses paths with, is very good for a chuckle.
 * I distinctly remember a couple of women looking intrigued. One was even staring at his ass. When I realized this, I could not stop laughing for 3 minutes straight.
 * During the final battle, Peter and Harry are flying downward on his glider trying to catch a falling Mary Jane. Peter asks if it can go faster, Harry responds with 'Hang on!'. Peter aptly notes 'To what!?'
 * While watching the final battle, JJJ gets conned by a kid. See it here.
 * "That's not the position I hired you for!"