Imma Wiserd/YMMV

""NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin. "ILL BEET U BOT" sed a hufflypuff."
 * Accidental Innuendo: Almost painfully at times.
 * when i wuz alssep i saw da man wit da blak cape and da blak coat. dere was a snake coimg out of da front a himself.
 * da loins were cummin towards me.
 * The Quidditch match also contains gratuitous amounts of this.

"it wuz... HERMAN!1111 "TAK DAT MUTHAFUKA" she sed."
 * Big Lipped Alligator Moment: Where to even begin?
 * Canon Defilement:
 * Hermione gets a particularly bad case of this, as she is totally fine with taking a back seat to the male characters. She has a pink vacuum cleaner as a Patronus and carries a sewing kit around.

""weres draco?" sed herman. "o he almost died" sed da dumbledoor. "but da best part is every1 on da sliteryn teem died.""
 * Dumbledore not only swears, but seems remarkably flippant in regards to the safety of his students.


 * Gary Stu: Turtle manages to fight "Vadermort" and be placed in an advanced class within his first few days at Hogwarts.
 * So Bad It's Good: of the Brain Bleach variety