Veronica Mars/Funny

"Keith: So, can I ask you a question?
 * "A PONY?!?"
 * How about Keith's poster: "She's 18, it's legal - Re-elect Don Lamb"? And the fact that he had them prepared ahead of time?
 * Earlier in that episode, when Keith goes to Cliff's hotel room (his note to Veronica: "Gone on puzzling errand"), only to find Cliff handcuffed to the bed.

Cliff: She said her name was Daphne.

Keith: Oh, no no. How did you call me?

Cliff: Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring."

"Dick (blurts out across the bus): Miss Dumbass!
 * Also, a particular stoner would like to inform you that he'd make a great bait! In fact, he'd be a "master bait"!
 * "They're probably up there making love. Or playing Dungeons and Dragons. Or both. At the same time."
 * "She's a hooker!"
 * This little gem.
 * Before the intro, Veronica in season one: "Yeah, we used to be friends. A long time ago." Cue: A LONG TIME AGO...WE USED TO BE FRIENDS.
 * "Annoy tiny blonde one! Annoy like the WIND!"
 * Dick in the first episode of season two:

Miss Dumas: It's Du-mas..."

"Lamb: But he's got such a cute nickname!"
 * Veronica goes to Sheriff Lamb accusing of murder.

"Dick: Am I drunk?
 * From "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough:"

Logan: No, dude, you're just special."

"Kendall: Your dad and I were just dealing with a little trouble.
 * Veronica's EPIC BURN of Kendall Casablancas in "Look Who's Stalking".

Veronica: Like, trouble? With a capital T, which rhymes with C, which stands for--

Keith: Veronica!

Veronica: I was gonna say cute."

"Kendall: Doesn't this mean anything to you?
 * Logan gets a stab at Kendall too.

Logan: It does. It means I'm getting laid. And I owe your village a goat."

"Rode Hard, meet Put Away Wet."
 * Logan introducing Kendall to Trina:

"Veronica: Guys! Remember, no white after Labor Day!
 * In "The Girl Next Door", Veronica is trying to track down her missing neighbor Sarah, and she thinks Sarah's friend Adam, who manages a clothing store, knows something. When he refuses to talk, Veronica calls Weevil, and he and the rest of the PC Hers come to the store, generally making a mess of things. Then Veronica walks back in:

PC Hers: (in mock disappointment) Aw!"

"Weevil: If you're lookin' for my trophy, it's back by auto shop.
 * Weevil finds Veronica in front of the trophy case. This isn't Getting Crap Past the Radar, this is "someone's dead at the switchboard."

Veronica: Lube job? Or...can you medal in stealing hubcaps?

Weevil: Is this 1970? Rims, baby.

Veronica: So you got a trophy for a rim job?

Weevil: Forget it. Look, I got some information for you.

Veronica: Finally, a Deep Throat to call my own."