Cars/Funny

Cars
"Lightning: "Turn right to go left"...Guess what? I tried it, and you know what? This crazy thing happened - I went right!
 * Guido's pit stop is without a doubt the Crowning Moment of Awesome for this film. The reaction of Chick Hicks' pit crew is priceless, probably the funniest gag in the whole movie.
 * Lightning muttering to himself about his failed use of Doc's advice.

Lizzie: You keep talkin' to yourself, people will think you're crazy.

Lightning: (sarcastically) Thanks for the tip.

Lizzie: What? I wasn't talking to you."

"Harv: And it is such an honor to be your agent that it almost hurts me to take ten percent of your winnings. And merchandising. And ancillary rights in perpetuity-- anyway, what a race, huh, champ?"
 * Harv buttering up Lightning:

"Harv: "You can't buy this kind of publicity! I don't know what you need me for! That's just an expression, by the way, you signed a contract.""
 * And later after Harv finds Lightning:

"Mater: I know this might be a bad time right now, but you owe me fifty two thousand dollars in legal fees.
 * What really sells this moment is his change of tone, mid-sentence. At first it's loud and hammy, then it's all serious and quiet, with no warning.
 * "AND MY NAME'S NOT CHUCK!" Even better is that his character is listed in the credits as "Not Chuck".
 * This exchange:

Lightning: What?

Mater: *Nods*"

"Fillmore: "I'm telling you, man, every third blink is slower."
 * This exchange between Fillmore and Sarge:

Sarge: "The Sixties weren't good to you, were they?""

"Chick: Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassing. But I wouldn't worry about it. Because I didn't do it!"
 * Chick pulling an Exact Words on himself:

Cars 2
"Sushi vender: My condolences."
 * Really, Mater provides pretty much all the Funny in this film.
 * Mater gets some drinks for Lightning at the free bar in Japan. Those who tried their first "pistachio ice cream" knows what's coming a mile away.

"Mater: I didn't drink it!"
 * The scene where Mater actually freaks out after seeing a car with headlights for eyes in Paris.
 * What made this scene is that this is seemingly a reference to the decision to avoid that sort of character design during development of the original Cars as it made characters look like "snakes".
 * He tries to crash Lightning's and Sally's date at the Wheel Well by posing as a waiter. He even tries a drink at one point, hates the taste, nonchalantly sips it back out into the cup, then almost serves it to Lightning!

"Francesco: But now we're in my home, and my mom's right there! Hi! *Camera pans to show his mom in the crowd*"
 * When Finn asks Mater if Gremlins are considered lemons, he replies "Is the Popemobile Catholic?. Becomes funnier when we later see that said Popemobile is riding in another popemobile.
 * This troper can't remember the exact wording, but before the race in Italy when the Italian car is talking to Lightning about how he misses his mom when he's over seas.

"Mater: McQueen, Queen. Queen, McQueen. McQueen, McMissile. McMissile, McQueen."
 * During his knighting ceremony Mater realises he hasn't yet made the proper introductions, leading to the following: