A Study in Regret/Funny

What, you didn't think a Darker and Edgier Alternate Universe can have funny moments?

Think again.

""Actually, it wasn't as bad as... wait, what? God help me – should I even bother telling this story or are you simply going to deduce the rest of the journey from my shirt cuffs?""
 * Lestrade delivers much of the humor, usually as a Deadpan Snarker. If he's in the scene, you can generally count on a sarcastic comment sooner or later.

""Since you were not blessed with wings... north or south?""
 * Despite being the Distressed Dude, Holmes has his moments, as well.

"Lestrade: "Hm, that went well, didn't it? You really have a way with women, Mr Holmes; can you tell me what I'm doing wrong?"
 * And put Inspector Lestrade and Sherlock Holmes together, and you're just bound to have fireworks...

Holmes: (growls) "Be quiet, Lestrade, you are not amusing. Go away..."

Lestrade: (cheerfully) "Sorry, Mr Holmes, I can't do that. Doctor's orders, he asked me to have a word with you... several, in fact."

Holmes: "So help me, Lestrade, if I could get out of this bed...""

"Perfect, it is now official – Lestrade has gone stark, staring mad."
 * Which is not even mentioning how Holmes keeps thinking that Lestrade's lost it:

"Wonderful, another reason to doubt the man's sanity. If Moran wants to kill Lestrade as well, he'll have to get in line..."
 * And:

"Lestrade: "You talk as if I had some kind of choice in the matter, Mr Holmes. The first I even knew that Mary was following me was on the boat from Newhaven. Came up beside me while I was hanging over the rail and offered me a ginger pill, as calm and unruffled as you please.""
 * Mary as the Team Mom/Pint-Sized Powerhouse.

"Lestrade: "Ha! Seriously, Martha, we still have to get past the police. Do you really think this is going to work?"
 * This. Just THIS:

Mary: "Safety in numbers, dear brother, I do believe it will. Mrs Peabody's 'personality' should prove sufficient cover." Or if need be, a battering ram. "Shall we?"

Lestrade: "Absolutely, my dear Martha. By all means, introduce me to our charming new friends!"

Mary: "Bite your tongue, George..."

Lestrade: "And why is the driver now beaming at our good benefactress? I thought he was going to hit her with his whip a little while ago!"

Mary: "Well, I may have slightly exaggerated to her the fee that the driver told me. I think it might be the largest tip Franz has ever received. Why do you think the two of us are riding free of charge?"

Lestrade: "I didn't know we were – does she?"

Mary: "Least said is soonest mended, dear brother…" Moriarty may have to concede his title of criminal mastermind."