Like an Old Married Couple

"Penny: It's kind of nice. Look at us, I'm reading, you're reading. We're like an old married couple.

Sheldon: If we were an old married couple, the wife would serve iced tea and snickerdoodles.

Penny: I don't have iced tea and snickerdoodles.

Sheldon: A good wife would go to the store.

Penny: I want a divorce...

Sheldon: Good, on the way to the lawyers pick up some tea and cookies."

- The Big Bang Theory

Two characters who seem very comfortable with each other to the point that it seems like they have been married for a long time, though obviously it doesn't apply to couples who actually have been together for a long time. Usually it is done through constant arguments with each other, as only people who are so closely bonded can have such open communication between them (whether they will admit it or not). Someone is apt to comment that they behave just like a married couple.

Typically the argument will be a back and forth of opinions, such as a Cavemen vs. Astronauts Debate. It is likely to get heated but neither of them are willing to just leave. In extreme cases it might start getting ugly with insults about personal issues being flung about. If not an argument based, it is often tied with Heterosexual Life Partners where domestic issues are a common topic.

Often applied to those with Belligerent Sexual Tension and UST. Compare Slap Slap Kiss. See also She Is Not My Girlfriend. Can be a staple of having characters be Mistaken for Gay by way of adding to the Ho Yay-derived humor.

Anime & Manga
""Ooo! A lovers' quarrel!"
 * Zoe and Suki of the OEL manga Vampire Cheerleaders are like this. Lori even tells them to quit the fighting and get to the lesbian sex.
 * Mentioned Ho Yay in GetBackers by Ban Mido, talking about Kazuki and Juubei.
 * Mazinger Z: Kouji and Sayaka were like this. Once while they are arguing -and fighting- in the background, Shiro is fortune-telling. He notes the cards tell his brother and Sayaka are destined to be together forever.
 * The common observation of Nadia and Jean done by Marie turned into a running gag in Secret of Blue Water.
 * Shinji and Asuka in Neon Genesis Evangelion. The above running gag about Nadia and Jean was parodied by Toji about them.
 * And in turn that scene was parodied in The Ikaris replaying the school fight.
 * Ritsuko once said that Misato and Kaji act like a married couple
 * Ranma ½: This observation is what gets Ranma and Akane engaged.
 * Even their classmates notice.

"Practically married already.""

"Chika: (to Marcus and Yoshi) Stop arguing like an old married couple.
 * Bulma and Vegeta in Dragonball Z do this infrequently in some episodes and the movies too. It's pretty funny watching them snip at each other.
 * Goku and Vegeta also get a good share of bickering in, mostly while exploring Buu's body in Z and during the battle against Omega Shenron in GT.
 * In episode 2 of Digimon Savers, Marcus is trying to tell Yoshi to leave, but she refuses, so they get into an argument. Then Chika walks past:
 * In episode 2 of Digimon Savers, Marcus is trying to tell Yoshi to leave, but she refuses, so they get into an argument. Then Chika walks past:

Marcus and Yoshi: We're not a couple!"


 * Mentioned about Yusuke and Kuwabara in Yu Yu Hakusho. Botan even has an Imagine Spot dedicated to it.
 * Another Ho Yay example has Doumeki and Watanuki of XxxHolic behave like this around each other, much to the amusement of Yuuko (and the readers).
 * Negi and Asuna of Mahou Sensei Negima have gotten this at least once. Kotaro and Natsumi sometimes act similarly too.
 * Gil and Alice of Pandora Hearts have the tendency to act like this. All the time. they can hardly have a serious conversation without making some sarcastic retort to the other. Oscar even made the comment that "They get along well enough to bicker".
 * Heiji and Kazuha from "Detective Conan, they are childhood friends who bicker with each other, but do love each other, even if they have a very hard time confessing to each other.
 * The same goes to Shinichi in Ran; when their classmates just referred to them as married.
 * In the Love Hina manga, when Keitaro decides to get a job, he suits up and all the girls laugh at him. Naru however, does up his tie, leading Kitsune to make this exact comment about them. Denials follow.
 * Not Lampshaded in the animanga itself, but Yamamoto and Gokudera from Katekyo Hitman Reborn do act like this
 * Lovely Complex: Koizumi and Otani are accused of acting like this - after they're already together, surprisingly, but they still both get embarrassed.
 * In one of the better moments from the Beyblade dub, Max and Rey referred to Tyson and Kai this way. The sheer amount of Slash Fic those two inspired back in the day makes this about ten times funnier.
 * Kyo and Yuki are called out on this (word for word) by Shigure in Fruits Basket. They're both displeased with the comment.
 * Oh my god England and America from Axis Powers Hetalia, whose arguments have warranted a comment from France about their UST... and their UST... and their UST
 * And with that, there's France and England, who've known each other since the very beginning of time and probably have a thousand romance tropes under their belt.
 * Guts and Casca from Berserk begin acting like this toward one another throughout the entire Griffith rescue operation, with them both getting miffed and jealous toward one another, but are clearly seen being very caring and sentimental toward each other (with some Slap Slap Kiss action in-between, especially from Casca). Judeau and Pippin take this as a good thing and play it for the laughs. Griffith, judging from they way he is staring at the couple from underneath his helmet and seeing that  doesn't seem very pleased with this...
 * Naruto has one with the villains; both Deidara and Sasori and Kakuzu with Hidan bicker to one another like, as fans put, this trope. However, they take it in two different ways; Deidara and Sasori, being artists, bicker about their type of art(apparently often), even when the situation at hand has NOTHING to do with it. Kakuzu and Hidan, on the other hand, already hate each other, so all they need is one reason, and they're very likely to go off on one another and spend a pointless amount of time doing so.
 * In Little House With an Orange Roof, Rina and Youta's classmates specifically mention this trope in reference to their constant spats.

Comic Books

 * Captain America and Iron Man, throughout almost all of their friendship.
 * Wiccan and Hulkling's relationship often smacks more than a little of this. Of course, there is a reason for that...
 * On a totally different note, Lewis Trondheim's Kaput and Zosky.
 * Booster Gold used the phrase (in #36 of his ongoing title) to describe his own relationship with Blue Beetle (Ted Kord), after Brainiac 2 assumed they were lovers. (This was rather a broad-minded assumption on Brainy's part, but only because ).
 * Wolverine and Nightcrawler act as a married couple and parents, sometimes for Kitty and Piotr (with Dad!Wolverine being hard when Piotr hurts Kitty or 's wishing that his "daughter" remains on the team)

Films
"Thumper Klein: Why don't you two just get married right now? You already argue like an old married couple."
 * In the third Harry Potter movie, Snape enters the Shrieking Shack and remarks to Sirius and Lupin, "Listen to you two, quarreling like an old married couple."
 * This is how Robert Downey, Jr. described the relationship between his character and Watson in Sherlock Holmes.
 * Grapevine. To Susan Crawford and Matt Brewer:

"Jackson: What?
 * Lampshaded by Word of God in his commentary of the film Red Eye when Lisa reminds Jackson of his promise that he would call off the gunman in front of her father's house:

Lisa: You know what. My dad. Make the call. Your part of the deal.

[Jackson takes the phone and puts it on the receiver]

Jackson: I still need you.

Lisa: You promised.

Jackson: And I'll keep that promise..."


 * Used in a deleted scene of The Princess and the Frog, between Naveen and Tiana.
 * In The Naked Gun 33 1/3, Frank Drebin is infiltrating a family gang hired to blow up the Academy Awards. Then his wife Jane shows up, thinking that he is cheating on her. Playing his role, he suggests they keep her as a hostage. Then they start arguing (even though they supposedly don't know each other), causing the head of the gang to get suspicious and claim that they sound like they're married.
 * High Anxiety the Mel Brooks character and Arthur Brisbane's daughter use this to get through airport security undetected by being a loud old arguing married (Jewish) couple.
 * Detective Spooner and Doctor Calvin in I Robot.

Literature

 * Shasta and Aravis in The Horse and His Boy. They end up getting married "so as to do it more conveniently."
 * Tonker and Lofty in Monstrous Regiment. Jackrum blurts out 'What are you, married?' at them in the middle of the book, though it's quite likely that he already knew they were an item.
 * In Boundary the two linguists are described as this by several characters. They end up getting a Relationship Upgrade at the end making then the Gamma Couple
 * Monk and Ham in the Doc Savage novels.
 * It's more subtle than usual, but in Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix, Ron and Hermione's bickering strongly reminds Harry of Molly and Arthur Weasley's bickering at one point. Molly and Arthur are an old married couple. Pretty damn cool method of foreshadowing.
 * In one of the Bunnicula books, "Return to Howliday Inn", the ghost comments that Harold and Chester argue like an old married couple.
 * Toward the beginning of Redwall, as Matthias and Cornflower take care of the Churchmouse twins, Colin Vole comments knowingly that they're like an old wedded couple. He's instantly told off, since Matthias is in line to become a brother in the Redwall order,.
 * Asher and Eliza in Someone Elses War. Respectively sixteen and fourteen.

Live Action TV
"Caipra: Alright you two, that's enough. Stop acting like an old married couple."
 * Boston Legal has Denny Crane and Alan Shore, who make more jokes about their own Ho Yay than the rest of the cast put together. When Denny catches Alan doing their Once an Episode balcony routine with another man, he reacts as though Alan were cheating on him.
 * Frasier. In the episode "Bla-Z-Boy", Frasier becomes upset that he's been living with his father for 8 years, and 26 if his childhood is included. Things come to a boil when Daphne mentions that the two could be considered common law spouses. After Frasier snarks at Martin an umpteenth time, Roz muses, "Just like an old married couple!", which makes Frasier absolutely fume. This ends up causing a bit of friction over the episode, since Frasier isn't particularly thrilled with the implication that the most significant relationship he's ever had or is likely to have is with his father.
 * Also, Martin and Daphne on a constant basis. While their relationship is strictly father-daughter/doctor-patient, whenever they argue they really do sound exactly like an old married couple.
 * Beautifully played with in the episode "Three Valentines". When Daphne and Martin find themselves having dinner together on Valentines Day, Daphne starts talking about their relationship, and how she enjoys looking after him, and it's almost like Martin is her ... then breaks off. It eventually turns out that she was thinking "It's sort of like you're my pet". Cue them arguing ... like an old married couple.
 * And Frasier and Niles, of course, do this constantly, what with the nitpicking, unwarranted commentary, and the barrage of swiftly and pitch-perfectly thrown insults so easy and practiced that it's almost a reflex. Whenever they don't sound like Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, they sound like Fred and Ethel Mertz, to the point of Does This Remind You of Anything?.
 * The Adventures of Sinbad (1996). Sinbad and Maeve are arguing.

"House: Please have an answer to this question: what's for dinner?
 * House and Wilson in House MD.
 * They live together for the better part of season 6 and a few episodes in season 2.

Wilson: You STILL haven't done the dishes?!"

"Lily: And we're not even married yet!"
 * Lily and Marshall in How I Met Your Mother. In one episode, where the couple remains in the bathroom after their friend Ted and girlfriend Victoria don't realize they are home after staving of their anniversary vacation, Lily says that her and Marshall seem like an old married couple...

"The Eleventh Doctor: "Honey, I'm home!"
 * A memorable scene in Babylon 5 had Londo and G'Kar arguing, to which a newcomer to the station remarks, "I wonder how long they've been married."
 * In the Doctor Who episode "Forest of the Dead", one of several arguments between the Doctor and River Song is interrupted by a character remarking that they're "squabbling like an old married couple"..
 * The Like an Old Married Couple-factor is taken to the next level in The Big Bang. The following dialogue occurs:

River: "And what sort of time do you call this?""

"The Eleventh Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe!
 * And let's not forget "The Pandorica Opens." Christ.

River: You wouldn't answer your phone!"

"The Eleventh Doctor: "You are not my mother!"
 * The Fourth Doctor and Romana in the Classic series. True for both of her, as Romana I's book-smart personality clashes with the Doctor's street-wise nature and Romana II...well...yeah.
 * The Tenth Doctor and Donna Noble. There had to be a reason why everyone kept mistaking them for married. Ironic, since Donna is the only long-term female companion in New Who who isn't hot for the Doctor.
 * YMMV, but the Sixth Doctor and Peri seemed to do this a lot. Every episode with them has them exchanging insults and arguing about the stupidest things.
 * And now added onto the list of girls who argue provocatively with the Doctor, we have the old girl herself, in "The Doctor's Wife."

-Idris: "And you are not my child!""

"Gibbs: Brings back memories.
 * Kirk and McCoy from Star Trek: The Original Series. And then there's the Takahashi Couple of McCoy and Spock.
 * Kirk and Spock would be the most obvious example, especially in the movies.
 * Old married threesome?
 * You're not that far wrong...
 * Lenni from Ghostwriter gets pissed off at her dad after he remarks that she and the boy she's working on a school project with are acting "like an old married couple."
 * The Not That There's Anything Wrong with That Trope Namer episode of Seinfeld has the reporter who thinks Jerry and George are a gay couple include the line "The two bicker about the cleanliness of a piece of fruit like an old married couple." in her article about Jerry.
 * NCIS. ("One Shot One Kill"). Kate is bickering with DiNozzo about his driving.

Kate: Memories of what?

Gibbs: Marriage."

"Ziva: You know what, you two? I have actually heard of this. You two are having a seven year bitch.
 * Tony and McGee, in "Guilty Pleasure".

Tony: Itch, and yes we are.

Ziva: You two are like a married couple."

"Gibbs: No they're not - they're still speaking."
 * Tony and Ziva themselves can be like this.
 * Gibbs and Jenny Shepard often resembled this too. She stole his coffee, he used her glasses, and they generally acted comfortable around each other, though they also had amazing arguments.

"O'Neill Clone: Daniel! Will you tell them who I am? Please?
 * iCarly: Freddie and Carly act like this, but more the "familiar and comfortable with one another" side than the bickering one.
 * When Sam and Freddie end up dating, they don't fight Like an Old Married Couple. They fight like Sam and Freddie. Constantly bickering, picking each other apart, escalating arguments, never ending fights and dragging Carly into them, until Carly gets fed up and chews them out, saying if they can't stop fighting, they shouldn't be dating at all.
 * Daniel Jackson and Jack O'Neill from Stargate SG-1. And how.
 * This does help in at least three cases to help prove the identity of one of them:
 * In "Holiday", an old alien scientist switches bodies with Daniel, so Daniel has to convince the others that he really is trapped in an old man's body. O'Neill asks what color Daniel's sister's dress was when they went out last time. Daniel retorts that he doesn't have a sister, and if he did, he'd never let her date Jack.
 * In "Crystal Skull", Daniel is stuck out-of-phase and cannot be heard or seen except by his grandfather Nick. Daniel has Nick repeat everything he says exactly. Jack is being his usual smart-ass self and comments on how Daniel has "lost a lot of weight". Daniel absently comments "Jack, don't be an ass." Nick, of course, repeats the phrase verbatim, prompting O'Neill to realize that only Daniel would say that.
 * In "Fragile Balance", a teenager claiming to be Jack O'Neill (actually, a clone) arrives to the SGC and tries to prove he is who he says he is. Then arrives Daniel, prompting this exchange.

Daniel Jackson: Okay. Love to. Who are you?

General Hammond: This boy claims he's Colonel O'Neill.

Daniel Jackson: This is a joke right?

O'Neill Clone: Daniel!

Daniel Jackson: Sounds like him, at least the loud grating part."

"Mulder: Eh, Scully, if I'm not mistaken, we're gonna be taking a left up here. Eh, there's an intersection up here, you're gonna wanna... Scully! You're gonna, wanna... You just ran a stop sign back there, Scully.
 * And let's not forget Daniel and Vala. When those two get started it's best to just sit back and get ready to laugh, a lot.
 * Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert.
 * On The X-Files, Mulder and Scully are frequently like this. In the beginning, it was bickering over scientific versus paranormal, but after awhile it was just...married couple bickering. They are often mistaken for a married couple by nonrecurring characters. From "Syzygy":

Scully: Shut up, Mulder.

Mulder: Sure, fine, whatever."

"Tim: ...Ruddy 'ell!
 * Nowhere does it get more obvious than the season 6 episode "Arcadia", in which they go undercover as a married couple.
 * The Fridge Brilliance of that episode is that it wasn't originally an X-File, it was simply a missing-persons case in a creepy neighborhood. Which means out of all the male/female FBI pairs, whoever headed this case felt that Mulder and Scully would be most believable as a married couple.
 * To put this in perspective, Mulder's nickname at the FBI is "Spooky." Scully's? "Mrs. Spooky."
 * All three presenters on Top Gear, but particularly Jeremy Clarkson and James May.
 * Shawn and Gus on Psych. Fangirls will tell you, "THEY ARE SO MARRIED!!!"
 * Also, Shawn and Lassiter.
 * Raj and Howard from The Big Bang Theory are called out on this multiple times, most notably by Leonard's incredibly blunt scientist mother who asserts that Raj is afraid of women and Howard has unresolved Oedipal issues, so it's not surprising they've formed "an ersatz homosexual marriage."
 * When Leonard wanted time alone to Skype with his girlfriend, Sheldon patiently waited at Penny's apartment. They were both doing their own things, reading on the couch and chair and Penny mentioned how it feels like they are an old married couple (they are friends but no one can annoy each other the way the other can). They get into a mock fight where Sheldon demanded she get a treat, Penny asked for a divorce and Sheldon said to get the treat on the way to the lawyers office. They both briefly laugh over their "argument."
 * Leonard and Penny tried to hang out as merely friends and found that they had a lot of unresolved issues between them that caused them to argue. It really surfaced when they went to a bar and both of them tried to chat up other people, leading to embarassing secrets being discussed openly.
 * Fresh Prince of Bel Air: Will invoked this about his bickering with Jazz. Jazz's response, naturally, "Oh, now I'm 'old'?!"
 * The Goodies had an episode in which Tim and Bill bickered about dinner in this fashion, complete with snarky hissing and turning their backs on one another. Context: Tim was giving a gourmet meal to a guinea pig. (It Makes Sense In...uh...further...contexty...things...)

Bill: Surely you're not resentful toward a little kindness for one of our dumb friends?

Tim: The only dumb friend I've got is you!

Bill: Well, thank you, after I make supper for you--

Tim: Look, we can hardly afford to feed ourselves, and you start giving four-course meals to flaming guinea pigs!

Bill: [turns his back] Temper, temper...

Tim: Well, since when have we eaten that well!

Bill: Since when indeed, yes...what did we get last time you cooked supper, eh? [Tim turns his back as well] A bowl of corn flakes! Yes, and they were burnt...

Tim: Well, better than your soggy lettuce and potato peelings...

Bill: [turns back around, snapping] On the money you give me you're very lucky to get anything at all, I can tell you! [turning his back, hands on hips] Oh, I've a good urge to go back to mother's...

Tim: Well go.

Bill: I shall.

Graeme: Now listen!

Bill and Tim: AND YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!

Graeme: Tim, you are being very, very silly!

Tim: Oh, you always take sides with him, don't you..."

"Divya: Here's an idea--let's have dinner, but absolutely no conversation.
 * Royal Pains has Divya and Evan set up on a "kiss and make up date" by Hank.

Evan: Yeah, like we're married."

"Jess: Hey.
 * Bones and Booth argue about everything, but no-one doubts that they love each other.
 * They are aware of it too, but they're just terrible at timing. Booth first confesses his feelings at the end of Season 5, but Bones is not ready. This causes them to break up the team and leave (Bones to a dig, and Booth to Afghanistan). After 7 months, they come back, but Booth has already found someone else. Then Bones has a revelation and realizes she missed her once chance with Booth. Then Booth has a bad break-up with his girlfriend but warns Bones that his heart was broken one too many times, and they can only stay friends and colleagues, nothing more. But then, they had sex and now they're having a baby.
 * In the Gilmore Girls episode "Happy Birthday, Baby", Lane witnesses one of Rory and Jess's arguments and even says as much.

Rory: Hey.

Jess: I got the video for tonight.

Rory: What’d you get?

Jess: Almost Famous.

Rory: No, not again.

Jess: I can’t help it, I’m addicted.

Rory: Fine, but if I’m going to spend two hours sitting there watching Kate Hudson commit suicide again, then we are ordering Indian food.

Jess: Oh, come on.

Rory: Hey, last night when we watched Ed Wood we got burgers like you wanted to.

Jess: Okay, fine – tonight, Indian food, but tomorrow, Saturday Night Fever and Thai food.

Lane: That’s so cute. You’re like a really sweet old agoraphobic couple.

Jess: Thank you very much."

"Dr Cox: Ghandi, Mrs Ghandi ... Carla."
 * During the Ashes to Ashes Grand Finale, Shaz mentions that she's amazed Chris and Ray never tied the knot.
 * J.D. and Turk on Scrubs. For instance, when Dr Cox sees J.D. welcoming Turk and Carla back from their honeymoon:

"Turk: When Sam gets older I teach him about sports and stuff, and you're in charge of Izzy's emotional crap. We agreed, that's how we'd raise our kids.
 * They even do it to themselves:

J.D.: "Our kids"? Turk, we're not married.

Turk: Dude, we're a little married.

J.D.: I know, I love it."

""Sounds married to me""
 * This hasn't escaped Carla's notice either, for that matter.
 * It has been noted by several observers that the frequently-bickering-yet-intensely-close friendship that Richard Castle and Detective Kate Beckett have become embroiled in is like, well, they're already married (or at least in a relationship). In one notable example, a suggestion that they brainstorm from the perspective of a married couple ended up with the two of them arguing like a married couple about being a married couple.
 * In Seven Days, Frank and Olga needed to infiltrate a cult holed up in a country house. Their superiors suggest they go in as husband and wife. Some arguments ensue, and we get...

"Danny: *talking to the criminal* Listen to me, I know what’s it like to have someone you love walk away from you.
 * Glitch and Cain of Sy Fy's Tin Man, starting pretty much immediately after they meet. And that's not where the Ho Yay ends, either.
 * A Law and Order / Homicide: Life On the Street crossover has one of the Baltimore detectives theorizing that Briscoe and Munch were "married in a former life."
 * In the new Hawaii Five-0 Steve and Danny have this in spades. They spend nearly every minute of screentime bickering and it has been Lampshaded by other characters several times "How long have you two been married?" and "Are you talking to your wife?" They even managed to bicker whilst confronting a serial killer who had a hostage on a clifftop (though the arguement is partially staged as a ploy to distract the criminal.)

Steve: *to Danny* What are you doing?

Danny: What?

Steve: What are you doing, the guy’s clearly a psychopath, you’re trying to make friends with him? You’re trying to connect?

Danny: He’s standing right here in front of us!

Steve: Danny you’re a cop, not a therapist.

Danny: Hey, hey I’ve been trained for this kind of thing okay!

Steve: What, to bore people into submission?

Danny: *to the criminal* Don’t listen to him okay, he’s idea of communication is he drops a witty one liner and shoots you in the face!

Steve: You know what maybe I should just shoot this guy so he doesn’t have to listen to you talk!"

"*Steve turns on the radio; Sexy Eyes is playing*
 * Also notable is the 'Sexy Eyes' cargument:


 * pause, in which Danny's face is a CMOF all on its own*

Danny: Are you serious?

Steve: What?

Danny: You’re not going to change this?

Steve: What’s wrong with this?

Danny: You're going to leave this, you’re not going to do something about this?

Steve: Its okay.

Danny: It's okay?! Alright, listen. I know you have been trained to endure torture, okay, but this is unbearable! This is not right, songs this bad make stable people wanna kill other people, understand?


 * Danny turns the radio off*


 * beat*

Steve: I think it's kind of catchy… *turns it back on*"

"Dean: No, see, married couples can get divorced. Me and him? We're like, uh, Siamese twins.
 * The Inspector Lynley Mysteries: The titular Inspector Lynley and his partner Sergeant Havers, at least once they've gotten comfortable with each other.
 * John and Sherlock fit this trope perfectly. Their constant bickering over silly things, like whose turn it is to buy the milk and where Sherlock puts his experiments, comes off very much like a married couple, especially since they live together. It's one of the reasons they're constantly Mistaken for Gay. Mrs. Hudson even refers to one of their quarrels as "a little domestic."
 * Starsky and Hutch tend to bicker like this a lot.
 * During the Rashomon Style episode of Supernatural, Bobby calls Sam and Dean out on this as they try to paint each other in the worst possible light.

Sam: It's conjoined twins!

Dean: See what I mean?"

Radio
"Alan: The exact form this takes is not easily defined...
 * During a discussion of gay marriage on The News Quiz, Alan Coren claimed to be in "a form of marriage" with his regular News Quiz and Call My Bluff sparring partner Sandi Toksvig (it may or may not be relevent that Sandi is in fact a lesbian).

Sandi: Now, I've explained this; it'll be like any other marriage. We won't have sex, we'll just sit in bed and eat burgers.

Alan: We did that last week.

Beat)

Sandi: That's true, actually..."

"Simon Mayo (reading a listener's complaint about her husband not listening to her opinion on films anymore): "This is for the sake of marital harmony"
 * Film critic Mark Kermode and radio presenter Simon Mayo are often compared to an old married couple - by others as well as themselves.

Mark Kermode: What, ours?"


 * On The Amazing Race 3, Terri & Ian are a married couple who've been together over twenty years and fit this trope like a glove.

Video Games
"Etna: Ah, how cute! You two have one of those kind of relationships going..."
 * Mary observes this of Rutee and Stahn at their very first meeting in Tales of Destiny. Not surprisingly, the pair inevitably become the Official Couple and their son even becomes the star of the sequel, TOD 2.
 * Parodied by Etna in Disgaea 2 when Adell and Rozalin argue.

"Liara: You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
 * Mass Effect 2: when you talk to Kasumi on the Normandy, she will mention that Joker and EDI are like an old married couple. EDI claims that what they have is "a platonic symbiosis rather than hormonally induced courtship behavior".
 * The Lair of the Shadow Broker DLC has frequent spats between Liara and Shepard throughout it, especially when Shepard Drives Like Crazy and Liara plays the Backseat Driver.


 * Finn and Arianne, the temporary companions from the Dragon Age DLC Witch Hunt, manage to do this very well, despite having next to zero things in common (he is a prudish young human mage who had a very cloistered life in the Circle, she is a badass Elven hunter-warrior) and having only met each other recently.
 * Dragon Age also features an armor shop run by Wade and Herren, both men. One is the perfectionist craftsman, the other is the businessman exasperated by the other's insistence on perfectionism over making money. They very obviously argue like an old married couple. Word of God confirms that they are, indeed, an old married couple.
 * Flynn's joining the party in Tales of Vesperia PlayStation 3 gives much more opportunity to learn about his and Yuri's relationship. This trope describes their arguments quite nicely.
 * In Kingdom Hearts II, there’s a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment with Squall Leon and Aerith, in which the former ask the later if she’ll be okay by herself (the whole town was currently in a crisis) while he goes out to retrieve something, and her only reply is to coldly stare at him, who decides to shut up and leave.
 * During the Portal2 co-op Speed Run at Awesome Games Done Quick 2012, the other viewers joked that there was this kind of chemistry between romscout and ShadowWraith.

Web Comics

 * Practically every character who is sarcastic or has a bad temperament in Homestuck (Read: EVERYONE) is prone to this, most notably Karkat with Terezi, Rose with Dave, and Dirk with Roxy.
 * The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob?Bob says this to the Pirates of Ipecac. And it turns out he's right!
 * The Reaper and Bryony in this Catena strip. Literal Word of God.
 * Girl Genius had it Played for Laughs with Moloch commenting on Violetta and Tarvek here. With Ironic Echo when Tarvek reflects it on Violetta and Moloch himself (she had some interest in him, though it's not clear how much reciprocated) later.
 * This is how Dorothy defines Billie and Walky's relationship in Dumbing of Age. Billie is not amused.
 * Tagii in Schlock Mercenary while joking about "her" self and the captain after he was inconvenienced by his father's wishes to get him married. Of course, Tagii is AI, but the concept was already proven entirely implementable when Petey and Haban II extended into a cloned brain and eventually married Breya, so his stunned reaction was not quite groundless.
 * Karl Tagon jokes about Kathryn and Nick -- he probably doesn't know that their history together doesn't leave much chances to that, but they indeed did shut up.

Web Animation
"Tucker: I'm still picking up the reds' transmissions from when we broadcast that Lopez song. There's a lot of chatter.
 * Red vs. Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles

Church: Well, are you at least getting any useful information?

Tucker: Nah, it's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple. I've only been listening for like five minutes and I can already tell they're really in love. Why can't they see it?"

"Grif: Hey, what are you doing?
 * Exhibit uh... 807:

Simmons: What does it look like? I'm getting in the jeep.

Grif: What are we, on a date? Get in the back.

Simmons: Oh, you're so insecure."

Western Animation
"Doofenshmirtz: Awww, Perry the Platypus, look at us! We're fighting over the remote like an old married couple! (Severely) It's not cute."
 * The Justice League episode "Hearts and Minds" opens with Hawkgirl and Green Lantern arguing in the middle of repairing the Watchtower. The Flash walks by and remarks, "Geez, you two sound like an old married couple." HG and GL are then completely silent (presumably from embarrassment).
 * In WITCH, when Will discovers she can bring inanimate objects to life, her computer and printer react like this.
 * Code Lyoko: Everyone but, well, Yumi and Ulrich are prone to observing how Yumi and Ulrich argue like this.
 * Word of God has described Teen Titans' Beast Boy and Raven like this.
 * Played with on Family Guy when Stewie (pretending to be a teenager) tells his "date" that they'll be "just like an old married couple!" He says it enthusiastically, but the ensuing Cutaway Gag shows aged-up versions of the two of them glaring at each other from opposite ends of a table.
 * Time Squad: Larry 3000 and Buck Tuddrussel act like this from the get-go, heck in one episode Larry told him that he's sleeping on the sofa!
 * In the Phineas and Ferb episode "Phineas and Ferb Interrupted", Perry the Platypus and his nemesis Dr. Doofenshmirtz are fighting over the controls to one of Doof's evil inventions:

Real Life
"David Spade: Chris was actually jealous of Rob Lowe. He admitted it later. That's probably why I'm not married now; my first experience didn't work out."
 * Chris Farley and David Spade, which was endearing when the friendship didn't border on childish possessiveness. They were undoubtedly best friends, but they could get into some pretty fierce fights, both verbal and physical. On the set of Tommy Boy, they would sometimes go for hours without talking to each other, talk to each other through the director, etc. And when Rob Lowe--who said that they acted like an old married couple--got thrown into the mix... Well, let's just say that Chris's reaction to their "buddies' bar night" was of epic Yanderesque proportions. David got so fed up with Chris hounding him on the subject that he threw his Diet Coke on him, to which Chris responded by throwing David into a wall and down the stairs.