Cleveland Rocks/Quotes

"In the morning I woke early and experienced that sinking sensation that overcomes you when you first open your eyes and realize that instead of a normal day ahead of you, with its scatterings of simple gratifications, you are going to have a day without even the tiniest of pleasures; you are going to drive across Ohio."

- Bill Bryson, The Lost Continent.

"''Come on down to Cleveland-town everyone

Under construction since 1868!

See our river that catches on fire!

It's so polluted that all our fish have AIDS!''"

- Mike Polk, local comedian, Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt

"Look here. To the west of us lie ruins of a considerable settlement marked Cleve-land. I give you my advice as a salvager who has been in such places--keep away. Move to the south, around it."

- Greenberg, to Kinkaid, A Secret History of Time to Come by Robie Macauley.

"Remember the time you lit your cigarette backwards? Smoked it right down. Said it reminded you of Cleveland."

- Happy Hour Is The Saddest Hour Of The Day, by Ray Stevens