Mike and Molly/Heartwarming

"Mike: Let's see, when I picked her up she was loaded on codine and singing at the top of her lungs...
 * From the second episode:

Carl: So far, so good.

Mike: She then proceeded to drink an entire bottle of very expensive wine, after which she yanked the hair out of my nose, started a fight with the waiter, and then passed out on the crapper...

Carl: ...That doesn't sound so good.

Mike: It wasn't, Carl! It was a total disaster!

Carl: I'm sorry... I guess you'll never see her again.

Mike: Are you kidding? I'm gonna marry that girl."


 * And then there's the whole wedding.
 * And then there's the whole wedding.