The Dark Knight Returns/Funny

"Alfred: "If it's suicide you're after, Master Bruce...I have the recipe for an old family potion, It's slow in working, and quite painful. You'd like it.""
 * Alfred and Bruce in the Wayne Infirmary:

"Alfred: "You know, sir, that there is precedent for wheelchair detectives..."
 * And later in the same scene.

Bruce: "Shut up, Alfred.""

"Alfred: (grumbles) "He'll just have to wear it wet....""
 * Batman takes a phone call, and obviously plans to jump back into action immediately. An exasperated Alfred is seen pulling the Batsuit out of the washing machine.


 * "Property damage. Automotive." (A voice command to the reprogrammed Batcopter to fire a missile at a car)

"Carrie: I'm not fired?
 * Batman leaves Carrie in the batcopter and specivically tells her not to touch the controls, or she's fired. She does anyway, reprogramming the voice controls to use cooler commands. Afterwards:

Batman: *grins* You're not fired."