Jodhaa Akbar

A 2008 Bollywood period movie that rivals Titanic in extravagance. The movie was made with a 400 million Rs. budget to support elaborate sets, period costumes and jewelery, battle scenes, A-list actors, and Rahman. The story centers around sixteenth century Mughal Emperor Akbar (played by dreamy, green-eyed Hritik Roshan) and his Rajput wife, Jodhaa (played by Aishwarya Rai's jewelry). The two are forced into marriage because Akbar wanted the Rajputs' allegiance. Akbar is Muslim and Jodhaa is Hindu, but despite their differences they slowly (and predictably charmingly) fall in love. As the romance progresses and Jodhaa becomes more influential, vague political tension builds in Akbar's court. Very Abusive of the Ermine Cape Effect. -

This movie contains

 * Action Girl : Jodhaa. Not considered historically accurate, but who cares?
 * Anvilicious: Nothing about this film is terribly subtle, and its message about religious tolerance is no exception. Though Some Anvils Need to Be Dropped... possibly from orbital altitude.
 * Bare Your Midriff
 * Bling of War: Akbar in armor.
 * Bollywood History: The opening says in so many words that this is a poorly-documented period of history, and that this film was going to try and capture the essence of the story, even if not every detail was factual.
 * Can't Have Sex Ever: For about 75% of the movie.
 * Chekhov's Gun: Averted, sadly.
 * Character Title: More specifically, Name and Name.
 * Crowning Music of Awesome =/= Ear Worm: Azeem-O-Shaan Shahenshah. Damn.
 * Dawson Casting : Jodhaa and Akbar were both in their teens when married. They are played by actors in their 30s here.
 * Destination Defenestration: Bye bye Adham.
 * Department of Redundancy Department
 * Estranged Soap Family: Akbar's mother, who claims to have been away for fifteen years when her son was growing up.
 * Estrogen Brigade Bait: Hrithik Roshan, pretty much the only man in Bollywood handsome enough to stand next to Aishwarya Rai without invoking Ugly Guy, Hot Wife.
 * Exiled to the Couch: Jodhaa does this with style.
 * Evil Stepmother: Akbar's wet nurse/surrogate mother hates Jodhaa. She's also an Evil Chancellor, which might raise some Unfortunate Implications. His biological mother actually likes Jodhaa, but seems to have political responsibilities which keep her away from her son and daughter-in-law a lot.
 * Everything's Better with Princesses
 * Evil Is Cool: Completely subverted.
 * "Falling in Love" Montage: Jashn-E-Bahaara. This is interrupted by...
 * Female Gaze: As Jodhaa ogles her shirtless husband.
 * Fetish Fuel: Swordfight between the main characters, with a side of UST.
 * GASP: No really.
 * Getting Crap Past the Radar
 * Gorgeous Period Dress: Jodhaa sleeps with her jewelry still on and carefully arranged. Naturally, she never wakes up with weird imprints in the shape of her jewelry all over her face and arms.
 * Guess Who I'm Marrying: Akbar to his counselors. Reactions are mixed.
 * Historical Beauty Update: for Jodhaa, Akbar, and probably some of the supporting players.
 * Large Ham: Many. The worst offender is probably Shariffudin.
 * Love Hurts: And how!
 * My God, What Have I Done?
 * No Hugging, No Kissing: So much so that that Jodhaa keeps a curtain between them at one point to avoid it.
 * Opening Monologue: With special appearance by Amitabh Bachchan
 * Opposites Attract
 * Perfectly Arranged Marriage
 * Politically-Correct History
 * Rebellious Princess: Slightly subverted with Jodhaa. She does what she's told, but negotiates to get what she wants from Akbar.
 * Rule of Drama: Jodhaa and Akbar are increasingly happy with one another . Cue dramatic prairie dog music.
 * Second Act Breakup: Quite literally, as it happens right before Intermission. Thankfully it's resolved relatively quickly.
 * Stranger in a Familiar Land: Jodhaa in the beginning of the second half.
 * There Is Only One Bed: But Jodhaa quickly finds a solution for that...
 * This Is My Side: ... And it's this!
 * True Love Is Exceptional
 * Through His Stomach: And the scene in question, which lingers lovingly over plates and plates of Rajasthani food, will make you want to die if you hadn't eaten a lot beforehand.
 * What Is This Thing You Call Love?: Almost word from word from Jodhaa and Akbar at different points.
 * The Woobie: Akbar