Tame Maverick Exposition (Darth Wiki)

Wild Mass Guessing is a fun and popular portion of TV Tropes (Wiki), and we just can't let that slide. This page is for one person to bombast the community by restating show canon and acting like it is somehow worthwhile for everyone to read it. There will be unmarked spoilers ahead.


 * Outside of Doctor Who and Mary Poppins (and, I suppose, Dirk Gently), nobody is a Time Lord.
 * Furthermore, even if a Time Lord had appeared outside of Doctor Who he or she would have been killed during the Time War. And none have survived the Time War and are certainly not in hiding.
 * What about Dialga?
 * Or the witches from A Wrinkle in Time?
 * The Mnoren share a lot of characteristics with Time Lords... and they're not around anymore.
 * Haruhi Suzumiya is responsible for absolutely nothing outside of her own 'verse.
 * As is Joshua.
 * Nothing is All Just a Dream. (Unless of course it is).
 * There are no Neon Genesis Evangelion spinoffs.
 * Only official AU spinoffs. Oh, and crossovers. You're very welcome.
 * Star Wars has an official policy that the most recent edition of a given film has highest priority in canon. Greedo shot first.
 * Nobody is Jesus. Except for Jesus.
 * Except for Aslan.
 * Aslan strikes me more as god of Narnia then Jesus
 * Being that C.S. Lewis was dedicated to putting religion into ALL of his works, how can you say that?
 * Aslan mentions in one of the books that he once came to our world under a different name and appearance. This would seem to prove that he's Jesus.
 * Lewis was a trinitarian. for him, God = Jesus.
 * Garfield is still alive.
 * Word of God confirms this.
 * Batman and Calvin are not furries.
 * And while we're on the subject, Hobbes is not, nor will he ever will be, Tyler Durden.
 * The Master and the Master are not the same Master. Sorry.
 * However, The Master is also not either of them. You're welcome.
 * And Master Hand is not him.
 * Nor is The Master and The Master...
 * And definitely not Master Asia
 * None of those guys are related to The Master, either.
 * It's safe to say they aren't The Master, that would just be silly.
 * Altair killed no one outside of Assasin's Creed.
 * Except in his backstory. But still no one from other works.
 * Actors play multiple characters, not just one only.
 * Except, obviously, actors who never manage to get more than one role.
 * Supernatural, Doctor Who, Pushing Daisies and Heroes do not take place in the same universe, sadly.
 * The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Chuck and Reaper are also not in the above non-existent multiverse.
 * Nor is Power Rangers and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
 * St Elsewhere does not suck every other TV show into its own universe because of a handful of inside-joke guest appearances.
 * Snape Kills Dumbledore.
 * Smurfette and Sasette were created by Gargamel. Smurfs are asexual creatures. The way Smurfs reproduce is that a stork brings a baby Smurf once every blue moon. The Smurflings were adult smurfs who messed with the Sands Of Time and got turned into children. Vanity is not gay, just overly flamboyant. Peyo said it so DON'T ARGUE.
 * Replicants are androids. Get over it.
 * Epileptic Trees don't exist.
 * Of course Epileptic Trees exist we have an entire section dedicated to listing them!
 * And even if they do exist, none are true.
 * Epileptic Trees exists, not exist.
 * What Marche did in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance was for a just cause. Get over it.
 * Don't bother deleting this, incidentally. I considered doing so, but it'll just get added again.
 * No One is possessing Mr. Mew, Shiki just used a Psychokinesis-type pin (Groove Pawn) to control Mr Mew.
 * But, Shiki tells Neku that Mr. Mew does his own thing, so she isn't controlling him. Which means Mr. Mew is either possessed or the Groove Pawn pin also gives the animated object an A.I.
 * Edward Cullen's Bishie Sparkle does not come from sweating. It comes from sparkling.
 * It comes from being on the verge of spontaneous combustion because he's under the fucking sun. Get a hat or something, god damn.
 * Star Trek: Enterprise takes place in the same universe as the other Star Trek series. It is not set in an alternate timeline whatsoever, nor is it a holodeck recreation (except for the final episode). The only reason we have continuity glitches is because the writers Did Not Do the Research.
 * Robin Williams is a completely human comedian/actor with no special universe-controlling powers.
 * TV Tropes is not part of a conspiracy to control us all. That pot holing is Just for Fun.
 * And it is most definitely not using subliminal messaging to control the world's leaders. Oh, and it has nothing to do with that ninja. No siree, nothing.
 * Marsellus Wallace finds intercourse with anyone except Mrs Wallace to be extremely distasteful.
 * Annie and Kat are just close friends. Preteen girls are just big on saccharine affection.
 * The same can be said for the main cast of Azumanga Daioh. They're all just friends. Especially Yomi and Tomo. (Before you ask, Kaorin is not technically part of the main cast.)
 * Candle Jack is a cartoon character from Freakazoid, and you will not get kidnapped by just saying his name in Real Life or by typing his name. See I'm still here, he hasn't ki Yoink!! And to think that he was a Fast Typer too.
 * He does, however, need more rope, but that fact is purely coincidental.
 * Candle Jack. See? You don't need to be afraid anymo You'd think that they'd learn after that last guy...
 * Candle Jack. There. Deal with i Edit Wars truly are disturbing things. Sure you want to try editing this out, Candle Jack?
 * Lelouch is dead. Simple as that.
 * Which Lelouch?
 * Dead or alive, it's clear that the producers are just screwing with us now. Still, everyone just accept that his part in the series is over, and enjoy the spinoffs.
 * Lelouch and Suzaku were both extremely messed up teenagers who had very different ideas on how to fix the world's problems. Neither was truly evil or pure good, even if they did some shitty things sometimes. Both suffered pretty bad by the series' end, and somehow found a way to at least break even when it came to their ideals "winning" or "losing" in the end.
 * Outside of a Shared Universe fictional characters will seldom if ever cross from one work of fiction to another, particularly not in disguise. Nor will their children. Exceptions are made for certain public domain characters who show up everywhere, but that's a completely different story.
 * Calvin is not a Mage, Vampire, Changeling, or anything else from The World of Darkness.
 * And he isn't a a Genius either.
 * Also Calvin Ball HAS NO RULES.
 * If Calvin Ball has no rules, then there is no rule to stop one from adding rules.
 * Calvin Ball has one rule, explicitly stated in the comic: You can't play it the same way twice.
 * Short answer to all the above: As a Nomic-style game, there are indeed multiple unspoken rules, such as required compliance with whatever the current made-up rules are. But yes, players may not play it the same way twice. Also, another permanent rule: don't question the masks.
 * Whatever Tzeentch's plan is, he's not going to be telling us any time soon.
 * Unless a scene is explicitly stated to be one character's description of events, it can be taken as showing what "really" happened and is not the work of an Unreliable Narrator.
 * That episode you don't like really happened. Get over it.
 * Things that also exist: Highlander 2, Rocky 5, and the second and third Matrix movies.
 * Several Superman movies also do exist, but were expunged from canon.
 * House of Leaves is metafiction and is deliberately difficult to understand. Any meaning you find is one that you apply to it. There is no answer.
 * The writers of Family Guy are not trying to get the show cancelled.
 * Nobody outside of the Death Note 'verse has a death note.
 * Well, not a real one anyways. There's always The Merch and fan made ones.
 * Kisuke Urahara and Gin Ichimaru were never known as anything else.
 * Star Trek is set on a spaceship.
 * With the exception of the 2009 movie, all Star Trek series are set in the same continuity.
 * Dungeons And Dragons was not set in Hell. The Dungeon Master was not Satan. They didn't die in the roller coaster accident, and were in fact given the opportunity to go home in the unaired Grand Finale.
 * Spike is dead.
 * However, Spike is not dead.
 * But Spike is probably dead by now.
 * And Spike is alive except in one Alternate Continuity, in which he is dead.
 * Also, Spike is a vampire.
 * Spike is not even canon, his scenes in part 7 were NOT FILMED.
 * Spike is also not dead.
 * Spike is likely alive.
 * Squirrel Girl is just an attempt to mock people who take comics seriously. However, everything she did do is canon.
 * You lost The Game.
 * But only if you were playing it at the time, it is perfectly possible to stop playing or to never begin playing in the first place.
 * Sir James Paul Mccartney, born 18 June 1942, is alive and well.
 * He is also completely human, and is not a robot, clone, or walrus.
 * Chuck Norris is a 70-year-old actor who is in great shape for a man his age. That's all.
 * Nor did he ever achieve during his career the same physique, speed or power as Bruce Lee.
 * On a related note, Bruce Lee died in 1973 due to a hyper-adverse reaction to headache medication, as well as overtraining. Despite the beliefs of a tribe Malaysia, he is not a god.
 * Popeye and Bluto are two heterosexual males fighting over the affections of Olive Oyl, a mutual acquaintance.
 * Barack Hussein Obama is a human being, born 4 August 1961 in Honolulu, Hawaii- one of the 50 states of the U.S.A.- to a Kenyan man and an American woman. He is a lifelong Christian, though muted in his faith, and has never sworn by the tenets of Islam, Judaism, any atheist philosophy, Jedi Knighthood, or any color of Lantern Corps. It is ridiculously likely he is not directly associated with Jesus, Nyarlathotep, Hitler, or Satan.
 * He was joking when he said he was from Krypton. Kryptonians are not considered natural-born U.S. citizens, which precludes one from becoming president, and are in fact, not even real.
 * You are a person of various strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. Your satisfaction in life comes primarily from how well you acknowledge and exploit these attributes.
 * Sugar Wiki is a Crap Saccharine World. Darth Wiki is just telling you the sad truth.
 * Waylon Smithers is Mr. Burns's assistant. He's in his early forties, is unmarried, and currently resides in Springfield.
 * Elvis Presley is dead. He died on August 16, 1977. He did not fake his death. His middle name is spelled "Aaron", with two A's, because he spelled it that way in the latter part of his life. It's spelled that way on his grave marker because he's under it. He was not an alien who "just went home". Other musicians composed; he decomposed. He's frickin' DEAD.
 * The writer of My Immortal simply had a really weird sense of humor, was not good at writing, and was one of those people who whines if not everyone likes the same things as her.
 * Organization XIII, despite being somewhat sympathetic, were not really good guys. This should have been evident when they were trying to mass murder entire planets to regain their souls, but was mitigated by their bishi factor.
 * The Dark Side is actually evil, and people who turn to it will also turn evil...unless your name is Darth Revan, Kyle Katarn or Galen Marek.
 * Slendy does not want twenty dollars. Who needs green when you've got blue and orange?
 * Also, Aerith is still dead.
 * Adding to that, it's romanized as Aerith. It might not be the most comfortable pronunciation, but it's still the translation that gets the most accurate meaning across (Earth).
 * Bert and Ernie are two good friends who happen to share an apartment, presumably so that neither has to pay too much rent. Also, Batman and Robin, particularly in the 1960's TV show, are partners in crime fighting, and a father and adopted son in their civilian identities. Also, Larry and Balki... you get the idea.
 * Unless two characters of the same sex are explicitly shown as being in a homosexual relationship or having sex with each other, it's safe to say that they are not gay unless the author states otherwise.
 * All humans will, without exception, eventually die.
 * Marcellus Wallace's briefcase does not contain souls, a nuclear bomb, all the evils of the world, or anything otherworldly or incredible. It's just a briefcase.
 * Ciel and Sebastian aren't gay.
 * Neither are Axel and Roxas. Also Axel is not a desperate whore and has not had sex with ANYBODY.
 * Pinkie Pie is not a mentally unbalanced and unstable pony who bakes her friends into cupcakes.
 * Ghetsis never raped or sexually abused N.
 * The Striaton Trio are not the Shadow Triad.