I Have Just One Thing to Say

A character is giving a climactic speech expressing disgust for the actions of another character. It sounds like a stern rebuke, and builds to "I have just one thing to say!" The audience expects a final slap in the face, but instead the character says something entirely positive, revealing the speech to be a put-on.

Sometimes the "one thing to say" is, "Gotcha!"

Compare Arson, Murder, and Lifesaving.

Film
"Harry: Lloyd, just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you go and do this... And totally redeem yourself!"
 * Dumb and Dumber had a good one, when Lloyd traded their van for an extremely tiny mini-bike:

"Cpt. William Diel: What you did was Reckless! And completely against policy! And on top of that... You did a good job!
 * I remember one Super Babies movie where the Kid Hero's 'last words' were "Duck." A vehicle of his was coming for him.
 * Done in the first Rush Hour.

beat

Inspector Carter: Say what?!"

""I've only got one thing to say to you: strike this motherfucker out!""
 * This was a subversion, as the captain did not think Carter had done a good job at all, but was merely putting him on so he would accept a humiliating assignment as a supposed reward.
 * Major League

"CDA Agent: This is the CDA. Come out slowly with the child in plain sight.
 * Three To Tango Matthew Perry's character has spent the entire film pretending to be gay, while actually in love with Nieve Campbell. When she finds out, she yells at him for daring to lie to her, and ends with "I have just one thing to say to you... I take the left side of the bed." Cue coy smirks and Ironic Echo inundation.
 * Monsters, Inc..

Mike Wazowski: Okay, okay. You got us. Here we are. Here's the kid. I'm cooperating. But before you take us away, I have one thing to say. (sticks out tongue, revealing a sock) Catch! (throws sock at CDA agent)"

Literature

 * Ebenezer Scrooge does this to Bob Cratchit at the end of A Christmas Carol.

Live Action TV
"Jay:"
 * The Golden Girls "Til Death Do We Volley": Dorothy has pulled a Counter Zany in response to a friend's practical joke. The friend declares angrily, "Dorothy Zbornak, that was the sneakiest, most underhanded practical joke you have ever pulled, and I Have Just One Thing to Say: boy, have I missed you!"
 * Three's Company "And Baby Makes Four": Cindy is irate that Jack and Janet thought she was pregnant. She rants, "Stop treating me like a child! I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I Have Just One Thing to Say: you two are the best friends a girl could ever have."
 * Frasier, "Something Borrowed, Someone Blue" - Niles comes home chipper, which the uncouth Simon Moon attributes to his having had sex (and completes the image with a few hip thrusts). Niles rears himself up indignantly: "I find that remark rude, boorish and impossible to deny!" -- now grinning fit to bust.
 * A version happened in Doctor Who in "The Stolen Earth".  This is also an Ironic Echo of his conversation with the
 * Oh, and his one thing to say in "Last Of The Time Lords":
 * Appears at the end of the Christmas episode of Modern Family. Jay has been annoyed for the entire episode over the Columbian traditions of his new wife and stepson. Finally, he explodes on them at the end.


 * Shortly after Sheridan's return to Babylon 5 from Z'ha'dum: "Hey, I heard that you three [Ivanova, Lyta, and Delenn] went to Z'ha'dum after me. That was foolish and dangerous. And I can't thank you enough for trying."

Music

 * "Supermodel" by RuPaul.
 * "I got somethin' to say...It's better to burn out than fade away!"

Web Comics

 * This Irregular Webcomic strip.

Video Games

 * In Wing Commander III, after Blair accepts a simulator duel against arrogant test pilot Flash, the captain takes Blair aside and starts a lecture on how reckless he's being. He ends it with the following statement: "Kick the little twerp's ass."