Better Than It Sounds/Film D


 *  A blind man fights a bald guy armed with peanuts and paperclips.
 * : An amnesiac fights aliens at night with the help of an asthmatic psychologist.
 * Alternatively, in a city of narcoleptics, one man suffers from insomnia. A council of albinos move against him.
 * : Incompetent hippies on a deep space demolition tour dispel their boredom by chasing and deflating a sentient beach ball. Over-confidently, they then enter a debate with a sentient thermo-stellar bomb.
 * : Woman gets irritated when no one will fix her leaky ceiling.
 * : The Tooth Fairy is actually the ghost of a woman who was burned to death years ago in the town, and she murders everyone who sees her. But ... she cannot stand to be in the light - and so the protagonist (who saw her as a kid and survived) arms himself with a gym bag full of flashlights.
 * : A visitor from a far away place stops appliances from working.
 * : Law student turns vigilante calligrapher with the help of a super-being who sustains himself on a diet of nothing but apples - avoiding detection by both his own father and a child genius who has a ludicrous appetite for carbohydrates.
 * : As before, but with the addition of two cute babes from a TV station and another cartoon super-being. Nearly everyone dies.
 * : A child genius who has a ludicrous appetite for carbohydrates with only 23 days left to live battles Eco-terrorists with a deadly virus.
 * Alternatively: A man commits suicide by notebook, adopts a kid and fights terrorists. In That Order.
 * : Villain falls in love with secret agent.
 * : Three friends travel to a wedding, the mountains, Southeast Asia, and then back home. It doesn't end well for any of them.
 * : Tourists' boat trip turns sour.
 * Alternate: Tourists' boat trip turns into a pain in the ass.
 * : Woman gets raped by sentient house, voiced by The Man from U.N.C.L.E..
 * : A diabolical genius, who employs a senile mad scientist and an army of Twinkies, adopts three little girls as part of a heist.
 * : Workaholic discovers his new boss is a walking argument that lawyers are evil.
 * : Ditzy teenagers unwittingly expose a corrupt politician.
 * : European thieves are defeated by man without shoes.
 * Alternatively: Man has a really lousy time at a corporate Christmas party, but manages to reconcile with his estranged wife.
 * : Man experiences exact same Christmas he experienced the previous year, only in an airport this time.
 * : Newly-introduced biracial New York couple bickers while solving children's puzzles, irritating a visiting European man who misses his brother.
 * : Man has to team up with geek to defeat thieves armed with... computers.
 * : A man injured on the job gets no worker's compensation, so he decides to shoot up the place with an immigrant friend.
 * Or: A baby killer is afraid of surgery, so he blows up his co-workers.
 * : A man's sexual frustrations cause him to make some questionable decisions at work.
 * : A popular TV story, compressed. Made more severe by later seasons of the show.
 * : Bisexual tries financing his lover's sex change by robbing a bank, with help from his dimwitted friend. Based on true story.
 * : British soldiers in Scotland crack wise in the face of death as they fend off an attack by wild animals.
 * : Two disgraced angels try to exploit a loophole in Catholicism to kill God and destroy the universe, and it's up to an abortion clinic worker, two stoners, a stripper, and the 13th Apostle to stop them. And there's a monster made out of crap.
 * : An anti-social teenager sees visions of an anthropomorphic rabbit, has a jet engine crash into his room, and has one month to prevent the end of the world... which he is the cause of.
 *  Scotland has been sealed off from the world to contain a zombie-creating virus epidemic. Ten years later a crack British commando team is sent in to investigate signs of life. Hilarity Ensues.
 * : Two doctors and a solicitor from London must kill their neighbor because of his dental problems.
 * : An old Romani woman is upset over losing her home.
 * : A loose adaptation of an equally loose retelling of a famous story that was Very Loosely Based on a True Story. And for most, as bad as it sounds.
 * : Man teams up with Sean Connery to kill his ex-student.
 * : Is Dennis Quaid badass enough to sleep with the President of the United States?
 * : An artist goes stark raving mad and takes his anger out on his oppressors by way of a drill to the head.
 * : A woman with a cheating husband, a domineering mother, and serious self-esteem issues figures out how to solve all her problems with the help of her imaginary friend from childhood.
 * : Mary Jane Watson and the nuclear physicist from The World Is Not Enough compete in a beauty pageant.
 *  : Cheerfully insane dictator with a bizarre mustache starts a war with his neighbors, while an Italian and an Irishman spy on him.
 * : Explorer with a bizarre mustache attempts to find stolen painting, while Italian and Irishman play music and attempt to hide it. Maybe.
 * : Con artist with a bizarre mustache attempts to make money off of Il Trovatore, while Italian and Irishman play music and attempt to help the career of a tenor. The most famous scene has all of them, including the tenor, in a small room.
 * : Two guys with amnesia eat pudding and play with a Rubik's Cube. Out-of-towners try to seduce and/or mug them.
 * : A guy in a car is followed by a truck. For the whole movie.
 * Tailgating: The Movie