Farscape/Recap/S02 E01 Mind the Baby

We drop in in media res, some time after the events of "Family Ties", and things are really going to shit: Moya is under fire from a Sheyang vessel, unable to Starburst, and Zhaan has literally gone insane, calling out for D'Argo, despite Chiana's insistence that D’Argo has not been with them for some time now. D'Argo, apparently dreaming the above event, wakes up on a floor, having been out for days and days. Crichton informs him that, no, they’re not dead: Aeryn managed to save them, and now they're hiding out on a barren, abandoned asteroid, waiting for her to come back with food. Elsewhere, Aeryn is talking to Crais (who is still aboard Talyn) about something sneaky he’s planning, and some deal she's made. Very foreboding. She's still acting wonky enough upon returning to the asteroid for Crichton and D'Argo to pick up on it; they want to leave, but she refuses them, resulting in an argument.

Up on Moya, the world is ending for Rygel, who can't eat; he’s too pissed at Pilot and Moya, who are heading back to the asteroid field to search for Talyn, despite the danger.

Aboard the Command Carrier, Scorpius is having his cooling rod changed- for the very first time on camera. He and Braca, who has apparently been promoted, are discussing the relative merits of allowing Aeryn’s Prowler to pick Crichton up, though Scorpius is annoyed that she has managed to evade capture since rescuing his prey. Aeryn herself, meanwhile, is en route to Talyn, where she finds Crais yelling frantically at the poor Leviathan baby. Together, they manage to calm him down enough to learn that he’s being agitated by signals broadcast by the Peacekeepers- designed to panic him enough to reveal himself. It soon becomes clear that whatever deal Aeryn has made involves partnering with Crais, and from the way he leans over her and in way too close, it is also clear that he has more than just a platonic partnership in mind. Waiting for Aeryn to come back, Crichton and D'Argo have started a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, and D’Argo just says what no one else wants to acknowledge: why the fuck does paper beat rock, anyway? Once Aeryn’s back, Crichton immediately demands to know what she’s hiding from them. She says they’re not going to like it, that she promised to help Talyn learn to follow Crais's orders in exchange for coordinates to an oxygen rich asteroid. D’Argo’s so pissed that he tongues her. After winning at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Crichton is off to Talyn to kick Crais's ass while D’Argo waits for an unconscious Aeryn to wake up.

On Moya, Zhaan is in the middle of some sort of meditation ritual, an attempt to once again become a Pa'u. Chiana asks her for help, but she’s completely disconnected herself from the world, and therefore useless. Over on Talyn, Crais reports in to Scorpius, who wants to know what's taking so long; it might be tempting to think that Crais has really been working for the PK's all this time, but no- he’s just playing all the angles. He’s in the middle of turning Talyn against the PK's so he and Aeryn and Talyn can all be a big, happy ex-PK family, when Crichton comes storming in, loud as usual. After an argument and a short fight, Crichton removes Crais from Talyn at gunpoint. The two return to Moya aboard Aeryn's prowler, say hello to a clearly overjoyed Chiana, and quickly deposit Crais in one of the cells. After saying hello to a whacked out Zhaan, who seems to think he is dead, Crichton hurries off to pick up D’Argo and Aeryn. Just in time, too, because Talyn has finally cracked under the stess and revealed his position to the PK’s. Scorpius gives orders to cripple the ship and to capture Crichton alive, noting that he doesn’t care if the others live or die.

In spite of the happy reunion aboard Moya, Talyn is still freaking out. In between crises, Aeryn knocks some sense into the blissed out Zhaan, D’Argo has a verbal joust with Crais over their differences, and then the Command Carrier shows up. Finally, Talyn actually fires on Moya, demanding that Crais be sent over to be his Captain. After some more yelling and the defence screen exploding under the barrage, Aeryn agrees to accompany Crais to keep him in line, though neither she nor Crichton are happy about it. Refusing to say goodbye yet again, Crichton and Aeryn link fingers in a decidedly non-platonic manner right in front of Crais, and then she’s gone. Once they’re aboard the young Leviathan, Aeryn instructs Talyn to move closer to Moya so they’ll be carried along in her Starburst, but first, Talyn offers Crais the Hand of Friendship, a painful, direct neural link to Talyn himself. Once he's recovered from the pain of having a cyborg implant rammed into his spine, Crais is essentially Talyn‘s Pilot now, and both want Aeryn off the ship. Aeryn is reluctant to comply, but it becomes clear that Crais' newfound control over Talyn's security systems make him more than a match for her in combat, and she departs.

As Aeryn reboards Moya, Crais contacts Scorpius to shove everything in his face, but at least he tells Scorpius that Crichton is dead (to piss him off, most likely), and then he and Talyn Starburst away. Moya quickly follows suit. Aeryn’s upset about Talyn running away from home, and Crichton wonders if Crais really can change...

Tropes:
"Chiana: THIS pile of dren?!"
 * Asteroid Thicket
 * Bilingual Dialogue: Talyn, who lacks a Pilot to speak for him, communicates through trills and bloop noises.
 * Call Back: Due to editing in some regions, it wasn't made clear in "A Human Reaction" whether Aeryn and John actually slept together. This episode clarifies that they did (sort of).
 * The crew is still getting mileage out of the defense screen they pilfered from The Zelbinion ("PK Tech Girl"). Talyn destroys it with one shot.

""Crichton is ALIVE!""
 * Cliffhanger Copout: Season One ended with Crichton and D'argo adrift in space. D'argo seems just as jarred as the audience when he awakens on a landing strip. "AM I DEAD?!", he bellows, shaking poor Crichton's head. Crichton assures him that he isn't dead: Aeryn found them, scooped them out of space, brought them to their current location. Once he recovers a bit, he asks why the hell they aren't dead.
 * Zig Zagged in the following scene, which confirms Crais had a hand in the rescue. Despite appearances to the contrary, it does not contradict Aeryn's actions in "Family Ties", when she claimed she couldn't fetch Crichton and D'argo because there were too many prowlers around; Talyn, meanwhile, was headed back toward the asteroid field.
 * Out of Order: This episode was originally written as Episode Two in the season, with "Dream a Little Dream" intended as the premiere. See that episode's recap page for the whole score. (Basically, it was too grimdark.)
 * Deal with the Devil
 * Death Faked for You: With Talyn in his possession and Scorpius unable to maintain pursuit, Crais calls him to gloat: "My final progress report." Then he inserts the knife. "And as for Crichton, he is dead. I killed him with my bare hands." Scorpy's not buying it; bitterly, he orders Braca to keep following Moya.

"Crichton: Because if you hurt either one of them, I'm going to hunt you down.
 * Do You Trust Me?
 * Double Agent
 * Enemy Mine
 * Evil Mentor: Crais, to Talyn.
 * The Glomp: Chiana demonstrates her ability to make gravity-defying leaps for the first time when she sees Crichton. D'awww.
 * Hand Wave: D'Argo's appearance changes in this episode; not notably, his face has taken on a tanned appearance. Makeup artist Dave Elsey justified it as being the result of D'Argo's prolonged exposure to space.
 * Hazy Feel Turn
 * If You Ever Do Anything to Hurt Her...: Inverted in the third act, as it dawns on Crichton that Crais has less-than-platonic designs on Aeryn. He warns that Crais had better behave himself with Aeryn and (more ominously) Talyn.

Crais: [amused] That would complete the symmetry nicely, wouldn't it?"


 * In Medias Res
 * Leeroy Jenkins: Talyn reveals his habit of jumping the gun in this episode.
 * Loud of War: Scorpius tries to frighten Tayln into a panic by transmitting a cacophony of random noises and interference; it works quite well, even with Aeryn providing comfort to the young Leviathan.
 * Malaproper
 * Midlife Crisis Car: Crichton draws this metaphor by observing that Crais wants to keep "the supermodel" (Aeryn) and "the Porsche" (Talyn).
 * No Party Like a Donner Party
 * Not So Different: From inside his cell, Crais needles D'argo about his dead wife and how he threw away a military career to go farming. Crais doesn't disapprove, however, since he himself grew up in a farming community until the Peacekeepers conscripted him.
 * Parental Substitute: Lampshaded by Crichton sourly calling after Crais, "Your nephew wants to see you!"
 * Pet the Dog
 * Put Down Your Gun and Step Away
 * Putting the Band Back Together
 * The Rival
 * Rock-Paper-Scissors: Crichton first introduces it to D'argo in this episode. D'argo (most sensibly) asks why in the hell "paper" beats "rock".
 * Slept Through the Apocalypse
 * Villainous Demotivator: Once Talyn takes off into space, Scorpius reminds Braca that his tactical expert assured them that Talyn wouldn't be able to starburst "for an arn." Scorpius bends Braca's ear: "Send him to me, so I might educate him." What happens next is not seen, though given that Scorpius prefers not to kill his own officers, it was only extremely painful.
 * Wetware CPU
 * Who Names Their Ship "Dude"?