Comedic Sociopathy/Quotes

"Carly: So how's Freddie?

Mrs. Benson: Broken. But I see you're just fine. Isn't that nice?"

- iCarly, "iSaved Your Life"

""Mwahahaha... Oh come on! If you don't laugh it just seems mean...""

- Barney, How I Met Your Mother

""How much humor can we milk out of psychotic behavior? Find out this fall! Only on Marvel/DC!"

- This trailer for Season 3 of I'm a Marvel And I'm a DC

""It's only funny until someone gets hurt... then it's frickin' hilarious!""

- T-shirt slogan

""Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy- that's funny.""

- Bender, Futurama

"Richard III is Shakespeare's first great comedy. Okay, I know that it gets listed as a tragedy. But, y'see, a tragedy is where a lot of people get killed, and you feel sorry for some of them. In Richard III, a lot of people get killed, and you don't feel sorry for any of them."

- Michael Anderson

"Dwarf: By Moradin's beard! Why do only our homes and children burn?!

Black Mage [winking]: Because it seemed excessively cruel!"

- Eight Bit Theater

""Whenever someone gets run over, I giggle. Does that make me a bad person?""

- Anon

"Gary: ''Right now you are down and out,

And feelin' really crappy...''

Nicky: I'll say.

Gary: ''But when I see how sad you are,

It sorta makes me... happy!''

Nicky: Happy?!

Gary: ''Sorry, Nicky; human nature!

Nothin' I can do;

It's schadenfreude,

Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!''"

- Schadenfreude, Avenue Q

"Eddie, matter of factly: You know, it's funny. They say that television encourages violence. But I'm smashing his face in, and we haven't got one!"

- Eddie Hitler, Bottom

"Comedy is death, HATREDY. / Step before the spotlight, / Laughter is your death-right / Crash and burn in horror

Make them squirm / Want to leave / After they / buy their drinks

I hate this audience / Regardless of applaudience / Like to take you away / Burn you in piles of hate

I hate the talent here / So dull and so full of fear

I'll beat you all to the punch / With an axe and a hack to the guts

I'll take the microphone stand / Run it through your neck

Cut off both your hands / Is this thing even fucking on?

Are you fucking deaf / Or just too scared to run?

Please take my wife, please take my wife / Then I’ll take your wife, then I’ll fuck your wife

Just a fucking joke, though its kinda' not / There’s a little truth in every single shot

Fueled by hate / Await your fate / Your time has come / To die on stage

It's funny / Because it's not"

- Hatredy, Metalocalypse

"Dr. Ivo Robotnik disguised as Santa Claus: Ah, hap-PINESS is always so much more enjoyable when it's based on the misery of millions."

- Sonic Christmas Blast, Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog