The Games/YMMV

"Bryan * flashing wallet* : Federal police.
 * Crowning Moment of Funny: There's one just about every episode...
 * "Who reports comments like the media are leeches? THE MEDIA report them, John!"
 * "Oh, well, you're a bit of a bastard, aren't you?"
 * "They're not missing? The kangaroos aren't missing?"
 * The group pretending to be The Seekers and performing (it's hilarious).
 * The entire 'relaxation trip in the Blue Mountains' episode.
 * "I would rather sit at home with a pencil in my eye than sit through that again."
 * "And the Minister will be confronting this in his usual method of being photographed in a hard hat pointing at a concrete mixer?"
 * "Gina? I can't get down!"
 * "Have we heard anything about that transport strike?" "They're talking wildcat action." "Oh yeah, when?" "If I knew when, it wouldn't be wildcat action, it'd be exceptionally well organised, punctual cat action."
 * "We don't need to pretend we're running the Olympics and we've got problems, we are running the Olympics and we've got problems!"
 * "Look after him? He's DEAD!"
 * And then later... "This is * BLEEP* hopeless!" * door slams* "You can't bring dead people into people's offices!" "I think you can, look..."
 * "I want your word as an Australian journalist that that won't appear on television!"
 * Jasmine going on and on about ambush marketing.
 * "Listen, I'm not bisexual!" "I don't care what you are, I'm not being groped by any more sleazebags."
 * "Why do you keep asking me? I don't know!"
 * "But people will get shot, won't they?" "Well they say they're going to fire above their heads." "That's never been a terribly convincing defense! 'We were firing above their heads, Your Honour, and then we noticed large numbers of deceased persons.'"
 * * Bryan and Jasmine race towards a door guarded by airport security.*

Jasmine: Mittagong Regional Library."

"Nicholas: Would you have some respect, please?
 * * Nicholas and John are carrying a corpse towards the elevator* (It Makes Sense in Context)

John: Have some respect? You're a bit rich, aren't you- you're happy for him to sit in Bryan's office all day, you've lied to his wife and family, and now you're going to drop him up in a dunny at a cocktail party and you want them to show some respect- what are they going to shoot? They haven't got any choice, for God's sake- come on, pal..."

"John * reading from a newspaper* : Gina, listen to this. "The so-called games of the twenty-seventh millionarium are now a staggering two hundred and fourty-eight thousand dollars a day over budget and we now have on our hands a full-scale corporate catastrophe in which the loss of the Titanic quite happily could be written off as office stationery. Once a celebration of youth and now little more than an orgy of waste and incompetence, haemorrhaging money and run by the biggest pack of no-hopers anyone could find anywhere, these games have become an embarrassment to all thinking Australians."
 * "A large ad warning consumers to be wary of any organization that appears to be associated with the Games that is not, in fact, associated with the Games. All of this accompanied by a cartoon of a large kangaroo that appears to be winking at me."
 * "Have we got a stapler, Bryan? We're the Olympics! Surely we must run to a stapler!"
 * "Lord Lucan! How are you? Have you seen my stapler?"
 * "I'm sorry, did you want the piece of pizza without the staples?"
 * "Your horse-making machine? Where will you get all that from?"
 * "Now, I want you to watch this..." * John puts radio in a glass of water. It makes bubbling noises and subsides.*
 * "You check that till your arse falls off, I'm telling you those are the figures!" "Well you can tell me that till your dick catches fire, I'm still gonna have to check it out!"
 * This:

Gina: What about the rest of us?

John * continuing to read* : "There is something rotten in the state of SOCOG-" A Shakespearean reference, "-and one highly placed source inside the company has said, 'If this were a private company there would have been a fire here last Thursday.'" What idiot wrote that?"


 * "Who cares. Make it up. What are they going to do? Take you to potato court?"
 * "Look, it's just a question of making the Americans feel.. slightly more at home." "Mmm, we could issue our schoolchildren with semi-automatic weapons."
 * "What do I know about genetically-engineered horses? I'm an accountant!"
 * "How did he win if he didn't have a ticket?"
 * "They picked him up in Dubbo this morning."
 * "How long is our 100 metre track? How long is it, Mr Wilson?"
 * "What couldn't you do without?" "My arse."
 * Gina setting fire to a diplomat's wig.
 * Conflict of interest.
 * Magnificent Bastard: John- although occasionally there's a bit of emphasis on the bastard.
 * Nicholas is often worse.