Reverse Psychology/Laconic

Don't read this page.

Just... don't.

Still going? This is a good place to turn around, you know!

Are you not listening to me? I said stop reading!

See, if you don't turn away and discontinue reading this sentence...

What, are you crazy? Close this page right now!

This is the gateway to ruining your life!

Please, I'm begging you!

...

"Fine. But I'm kneeling, crying, and screaming right now."