The Tale of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede

"pipes!: Let me tell you about my D&D character. ...He's from my favourite animes! ...He has a red trenchcoat and he has a gun, but he only shoots the gun to hurt things, 'cause he doesn't believe in killing."

It was an ordinary day for the Freelance Astronauts. Maxwell Adams was playing F-Zero GX's Story Mode, while his best friends Evek, pipes!, and Ferr watched. Of course, as Maxwell's friends were unable to pick up a controller and harass him the direct way, they decided to use the old-fashioned technique of distracting him with interesting conversations. By the time that Maxwell reached Chapter 6, pipes! had decided to talk about a D&D character of his based on his favourite anime and magna.

What came out of his mouth (though the other Freelance Astronauts, even Maxwell, helped contribute parts) was The Tale of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede, which may be the greatest and most Badass Affectionate Parody of all time. Due to the various tropes and cliches within the Tale, it was only a matter of time until it got a page of its very own here on.

For the curious, the Tale can be viewed here.

Tropes present in the Tale of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede:

 * Angst - Sephiroth Goku the Stampede suffers from this after his girlfriend's death.
 * - The Reveal at the very end shows that the entire Epic is this.
 * Badass Longcoat - Sephiroth Goku the Stampede (hereafter referred to as 'Seph' for short) has a red trenchcoat similar to another Stampede's...
 * Big Bad - The Evil Buff CEO Vampire Wizard.
 * Bishonen Line: The robot's final form is nothing more than a slightly different robot.
 * Clap Your Hands If You Believe - "...and then a big laser burst out of his chest because he believed in himself!"
 * Corrupt Corporate Executive - The Buff CEO Vampire Wizard and his Board Of Directors.
 * Death by Irony - Because the Evil Buff CEO Vampire Wizard had turned Seph into a vampire in the future,
 * Empathic Weapon - The time-travelling Humongous Mecha that Seph finds under a rock want to be his friend, and tells him that he believes in the power of him.
 * Funny Background Event - While the Epic of Sephiroth Goku the Stampede is being told, Captain Falcon is racing through a busy street with a bomb strapped to his car.
 * Future Me Scares Me - Averted; Seph and become best friends instantly.
 * Genre Savvy - The architect of the town all the fights take place in; the buildings can be retracted into the ground, so they don't get blown up by accident.
 * I Am Not Left-Handed - In the finale, Seph reveals that
 * Incorruptible Pure Pureness - Seph's girlfriend is implied to be this, as she was described as a "super goody-two-shoes" at one point.
 * Interspecies Romance - Averted; Seph used to be an Angel, and then he was a Demon, but he gave up his powers to be with a mortal girl at the beginning of the tale. Sadly, he gets turned into a Vampire, and accidentally kills the girl.
 * Lolicon - Seph's girlfriend looks like she's 8 years old, but has a high school education.
 * The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body - The reason Seph's girlfriend died is because he couldn't control his vampiric urges and accidentally killed her for blood.
 * Goldfish Poop Gang - The Board of Directors working for the Buff CEO Vampire Wizard may be this.
 * Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot - Or in this case, the "vampire wizard angel demon" who may or may not have been a buff wizard.
 * From the past future.
 * One-Winged Angel - The Buff CEO Vampire Wizard is also part-demon by the final battle.
 * Our Time Machine Is Different - They're also Humongous Mecha! And the villains' are made from the clones of the dead mothers of past vampires!
 * Our Vampires Are Different - The main character and the Big Bad. Seph is also an example of Our Angels Are Different and Our Demons Are Different
 * Plot Hole - After his vampiric instincs lead to his girlfriend's accidental death, Seph is a "vampire wizard angel demon". How did he regain his angel and demon powers, and did the Big Bad make him a wizard in addition to being a vampire or not?
 * Really Seven Hundred Years Old - Seph is originally from "thousands of years ago".
 * Set Right What Once Went Wrong - Seph's goal is to kill the Evil Buff CEO Vampire Wizard in the past, so he won't turn Seph's past self into a vampire that'll accidentally kill his girlfriend.
 * Shout-Out - Numerous anime series naturally get referenced throughout, Gainax mecha seeming to be a favorite.
 * Sphere of Destruction - Seph uses one to take out the Board Of Directors.
 * Technical Pacifist - As the quote at the top states, Seph shoots things to prevent killing them.
 * Testosterone Poisoning - Seph and the Board of Directors yell quite loudly when fighting.
 * This Cannot Be! - The Evil Buff CEO Vampire Wizard's reaction to the below trope.
 * Transforming Mecha - The Big Bad's Board of Director's robots can transform into seperate companies.
 * Wave Motion Gun -
 * Wave Motion Gun -
 * Wave Motion Gun -