The Last Samurai/Funny

"Gant: RIGHT, YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! YOU WILL STAND UP STRAIGHT OR I WILL PERSONALLY SHIT-KICK EVERY FAR EASTERN BUTTOCK THAT APPEARS BEFORE MY EYES!!!
 * On the first day of new recruit training, we get this little gem from Billy Connoly's character:

(the recruits fearfully stand up straight, despite the fact that Gant was speaking in English)

Algren: Well done, sergeant.

Gant: When you understand the language, sir, everything falls into place."

"I just realized, I've been remiss. Forgive me, I forgot to thank you for looking out for me yesterday. That is your job, correct? Protecting me. Well done 'Bob.' You don't mind if I call you Bob, do you? I knew a Bob once; God, he was ugly as a mule. Are you a ladies man, Bob?"
 * Algren and his one-sided conversation with the samurai assigned to guard him.


 * Simon Graham (Timothy Spall) getting past security by pretending that Algren is the United States President.
 * Come to personally lead Omura's army into battle, no less.